


Self-Deception

by weremound



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Ace/Aro Maki, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Any spooks has a warning beforehand, Celeste is goth and Mikan is spooky. otherwise horror isnt really a part of the story, Character Development, Characters tagged play some sort of important part of the story, Denial of Feelings, Dramedy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Horror Elements, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Kaede has ADHD, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, No Covid-19 AU, Otherwise like half of the cast is in this story, Past Abuse, Past Neglect, Personal Growth, Rarepair, Slow Burn, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 187,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24154555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weremound/pseuds/weremound
Summary: Kaede, a confrontational girl with high morals, believes she can change the decadent Celeste. Celeste sees servant potential in Kaede. They hate each other, learn about each other, about themselves, and become closer. Perhaps too close.A usually silly, gradually more serious prep/goth slow burn story where people lie to themselves about who they really are and learn the answer to, "What does it mean to be a good or bad person?"
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede & Harukawa Maki & Momota Kaito & Saihara Shuichi, Akamatsu Kaede & Harukawa Maki & Momota Kaito & Saihara Shuichi & Tsumiki Mikan & Celestia Ludenberg, Akamatsu Kaede & Saihara Shuichi, Akamatsu Kaede/Celestia Ludenberg, Gokuhara Gonta/Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 267
Kudos: 125





	1. A Cursed Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Self-Deception, a Kaede/Celeste fanfiction I've been on and off writing for an entire year. My debilitating high standards made me say "I have to completely finish the whole story and rewrite this several times before uploading it," but I'm trying to learn to chill out a bit. It's fanfiction. Not everything has to be perfect. Also I've been stressed from work and the state of the world right now has me not writing, so I'm saying "Fuck it!" Maybe uploading some of what I've written so far will motivate me. So, here it is.
> 
> Quick notes: This game does that anime shit where characters have crazy color hair and eyes. I'm not doing that. Either their hair and eye color is going to be a normal color, dyed hair, or I'm just not going to mention it. Another thing, I'm saying Kaede is 5'6" if you care. Last, I'm writing Hope's Peak to be a combination of the schools, including labs. Only v3 characters have labs. Don't question it.
> 
> And with that, I hope you enjoy Self-Deception!

_ Ding Dong, Bing Bong _

“Rise and shine, ursine!”

Kaede Akamatsu awoke from her peaceful sleep to the sound of five cartoon bears on the monitor in her dorm room.

“This is an official Hope’s Peak Academy announcement,” Monotaro introduced.

“It’s 8 a.m., bitches!” Monokid shouted. “Time to rock and roll out of bed! Hell yeah!”

Kaede groaned at the display of Monokubs. It only took a few days at Hope’s Peak Academy for her to wish for a way to turn the monitor off. Now that it had been one month of hearing their annoying voices  _ every _ day, including weekends, she was on the brink of insanity.

...Insanity was a little strong. Anyone would feel that way about any alarm clock. At least the Monokubs said something different every day.

“It’s a normal Tuesday,” Monosuke announced. “Normal May weather, prolly some normal May news…”

“So, keep on rockin’ normally!” Monokid laughed.

Kaede rubbed her eyes, wondering who took the time to write their scripts every morning.

“The more you say ‘normal’ the more abnormal it becomes,” Monophanie interjected. “If you say it enough, you’ll jinx the day!”

Monodam spoke up. “NORMAL-NORMAL-NORMAL-NORMAL-NORMAL—”

“Ah!” Monophanie screamed. “Now the day is cursed!”

“No, it’s not,” doubted Monotaro. “Not if you go to all of your classes! To keep yourself from becoming cursed, get your butts out of bed and go to class!”

“So long! Bear-well!” the Monokubs said at the same time. Then, the monitor went black.

Kaede exhaled, relieved the short announcement was finally over. Most morning announcements ended with something about going to class, even though attendance wasn’t required. At Hope’s Peak Academy, students could skip class so they could have time to train their ultimate talents. Some people still went to every class and Kaede would be one of those people if she didn’t get distracted. Sometimes she would try to sneak in one piece on the piano before class and suddenly it would be three in the afternoon. Did she hear the bell that signaled lunchtime? Of course, but she would be in the middle of a song and she couldn’t just  _ stop. _ By the time she finished the piece, she would forget she was hungry until her lack of energy made it hard to concentrate on the sheet music in front of her. By then, she would eat dinner. Or go to bed. It depended on how tired she was.

“Food,” she whispered out loud. If she wanted to eat breakfast before class started at nine, she’d need to get up now, as she did every morning. What day was it again? Tuesday, as Monosuke said. That meant her first class was Language Arts. What was reading long books with a lot of words that were written at least fifty years ago going to teach her about piano? Was she really going to go?

Nah.

So far, it was a normal Tuesday.

Instead, she was going to go straight to her Ultimate Pianist lab at nine. That left her with three hours before lunchtime, one hour to warm up and play whatever she wanted and two hours to practice a new or difficult piece. What was she going to play? The morning announcement wasn’t particularly inspiring. She’d find inspiration at breakfast, which she couldn’t go to if she didn’t get up but as soon as she sat up, Kaede felt a tight pain in her lower abdomen and around her shoulder blades and collapsed back onto her pillow.

“What the heck?” she pondered, rubbing her shoulder with one arm. Now she knew what she was going to play since Korsakov’s Flight of the Bumblebee was so quickly stuck in her head. Kaede attempted to get up a second time but winced before falling back down again. Her body felt like it was about to rip in half and she started to regret the agreement she made the night before. Still not fully awake, fatigue rushed over her.

Staying in bed for a bit would be fine.

She closed her eyes for a moment, just a moment, but when she opened them again and looked at her clock, it was already eight-thirty.  _ Crap _ , she fell asleep. On a normal day, she would be out of her room by then. Was today actually cursed as Monophanie said?

That was ridiculous. Things like curses weren’t real; anything described as a curse were most likely explained by coincidences. The only thing that could affect a person’s life was hard work and determination. So, like a certain giant, overturned bug that she would probably know about if she went to Language Arts class, Kaede literally rocked and rolled herself out of bed, choosing to ignore the searing pain in her shoulders. With sore muscles, she did her usual morning routine. When she was done, she painfully put on her backpack that carried her e-handbook, which served many functions but most importantly acted as a key to her dorm room, pens and a notepad, sheet music, her phone— 

Her phone. Kaede turned away from her front door and saw her pink cellphone charging on top of her desk. She picked it up and read a few texts she had missed while she was sleeping.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Hey you coming to breakfast? I got us a table.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Kaede? I dont want to eat alone.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Im eating breakfast rn.

Phone in hand, she left her room at nine, thirty minutes later than usual, and texted him back.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Sorry! Overslept. Im sore like craaaaazy

**Shuichi Saihara:** Yeah me too.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Are you still in the dining hall

**Shuichi Saihara:** No I just left.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Noooooo

**Shuichi Saihara:** Its okay. Im waiting for class to start. Are you coming?

**Kaede Akamatsu:** I havent eaten breakfast yet and i cant just show up in the middle of class, you know what i mean?

**Shuichi Saihara:** Sounds like an excuse to skip to me. Haha

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Lol

Upon entering the dining hall, she examined the room and noticed that there were significantly fewer people than usual. Normally, when she would arrive at breakfast, a majority of the forty-six other students were there. Now, there were only five people; a few of the slackers who didn’t go to class. It was amazing how only thirty minutes could change the day. On the largest table were big plates half full of pancakes. Nearly every meal, Teruteru worked hard on making everyone’s food and Tuesdays were pancake days. As much as Kaede loved pancakes, she was supposed to be eating something else.

Upon hearing the door open, a small face spun around to face her. “Ah, Ms. Akamatsu. As much as I enjoy your presence, you weren’t the one I was expecting,” Hifumi said, pushing up his glasses. “My Mistress isn’t here yet, but I can harness the true power of the Alpha and the Omega to seat you, if you want.”

“Um,” Kaede said. She had no idea what he was talking about. His  _ mistress? _ Ew. She didn’t want to know. “Good to see you too but I’m… good. Thanks.”

“What a surprise!” a high-pitched voice cheered. “Kaede has joined us for the tri-daily celebratory feast honoring all that Atua has done for us!” Angie clapped her hands above her head and jumped in the air. “Nyahahaha!”

Spiky red hair sat up straight. “Huh?! I ain’t agree to all that!” Leon shouted.

Angie gave a menacing smile. “Sure you did! When you eat this food, you accept Atua’s love into your heart!”

“Hecks yeah!” Ibuki shouted. “I can feel Atua’s spirit pumpin’ through my veins!”

Leon scratched his head. “Um… are you sure it isn’t the five cups of coffee you drank?”

“No way! In fact, I can hear her now…” Ibuki put fingers to her temples and squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh, I’m really feelin’ it! Here she comes, here she comes!” She put her foot on one of the chairs and played a riff on an air guitar. “ATUAAAA!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. Kaede rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen. It was too early to be dealing with this kind of nonsense.

In the kitchen, Kaede could see a chef’s hat bobbing back and forth behind the counter. Teruteru was rushing to make something as always but he seemed more stressed out than usual, especially when compared to how relaxed Kirumi looked as she washed dishes. Without saying anything, Kaede made her way towards one of the cabinets. It wasn’t that she was trying to avoid Kirumi, whose back was turned, it was Teruteru she wanted to keep from noticing her.

So far, neither were aware of her presence. All she had to do was grab what she needed from the cabinet and leave. As soon as she lifted her arm, her shoulder hurt and she made an audible wince, making her involuntarily whisper, “Ow!”

“Oh, Kaede,” Kirumi said, turning around. “You startled me.”

“Kaede?” Teruteru inquired from behind the counter. He sprung up into the air to peep a momentary view of Kaede, which allowed her to see the pleased look on his face. “Good morning!”

“What are you doing in here?” Kirumi asked Kaede. “Have you eaten already?”

Kaede shook her head. “No, I’m just getting my cereal.” She reached up again, pushing through the burn in her shoulders and pulled out fortified cereal— cereal with added vitamins.

“Cereal?!” Teruteru cried. “Is the food on the table inadequate?”

“It’s nothing, no need to worry about it.”

Teruteru picked up a stepstool and stood on it, now able to see Kaede when he talked to her. “If there’s something wrong with the food, please tell me! It is my job as a chef to prepare dishes that everyone and anyone can eat.”

Kaede played with the cereal box in her hands. “I’m kinda iron deficient and anemic. I’m supposed to be eating food with a lot of iron in it.”

Teruteru gasped, pressing his hands to his forehead. “I’ve failed you! I completely forgot!”

“It’s no big deal, really! I’m okay with eating cereal.”

“Please let me make it up to you. Let me make you something special.”

She wasn’t comfortable with being treated like she was special, but she didn’t feel like she was in the position to decline. “Sure, but I really,  _ really _ am okay with eating cereal.”

“Soon?”

“Yeah,” Kaede agreed, trying to end the conversation. “Soon.”

“Excellent! And then you’ll leap into my arms and we’ll share a big, wet, sloppy kiss!” Exactly what she was trying to avoid. For whatever reason, it sometimes felt like she was more annoyed by it than the other girls at the academy. Kaede assumed she just had a lower tolerance for that kind of stuff.

Kirumi responded with, “Teruteru, the bread,” noticing Kaede’s discomfort.

Teruteru’s eyes suddenly widened. “The bread!” He stepped down from the stool and ran to the oven. “No no, nononono!” He pulled out a perfectly normal looking baguette. “Oh, this won’t satisfy her. I’ll have to do it again...” he mumbled to himself.

As Kaede poured cereal into a bowl, Kirumi asked, “Kaede, how are you this morning?”

“Oh, I’m alright. The morning announcement was kinda weird today, don’t you think? Starting the day off with a message saying the day is cursed could put people in a bad mood.”

“I believe the intent was to say the day might be a little different than usual. As your class representative, I can take it up with the board if it bothered you.”

Kaede walked to the refrigerator. “I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, I don’t believe in superstitions anyway.” When she bent down to pick up the milk, her abdomen crunched, forcing her to bend at her knees instead of her waist.

“Are you in pain?”

“Just a little sore. Shuichi, Kaito, and I started working out last night and we did fifty sit-ups. We’re gonna do it every weekday night until we get really strong! I’ll have a perfect summer body in no time! N-Not that it matters.” She poured the milk in her bowl and returned it to the refrigerator.

Kirumi chuckled. “Please, do not strain yourself too hard. If you wish to have me massage your sore muscles, I would be happy to serve you. I am well trained in such.”

“Sure!” Kaede instinctively said. If Kirumi wasn’t a girl, she probably would’ve refused. “But, uh… not right now.” That seemed like a private thing and getting a massage in the middle of the dining hall seemed strange. “Later.”

“If that is your request, I accept it.”

Kaede picked up her cereal and walked back into the dining hall. Leon looked at her with a big grin.

“Kaede! Come sit next to me, yeah?” He quickly patted the seat next to him.

“Why?” Kaede wasn’t sure if Leon was hitting on her or not.

Leon let out a nervous laugh. “You’re so funny, Kaede! We should do a comedy sketch together… or a duet, maybe?” He laughed again. “So are you gonna sit down, or what?” He was absolutely hitting on her. The ickiness she felt about his words were similar to how she felt about Teruteru, even though what Leon said wasn’t nearly as gross and invasive. Still, she had to get out of the situation.

“Actually, I’m gonna sit next to…” She looked around the room for  _ anyone _ else she’d rather sit with. Her eyes locked onto the only other person in the room who seemed somewhat sane. “...Byakuya.”

“Alright, that’s cool, that’s cool...” Leon disappointedly continued eating his pancakes.

Kaede walked up to Byakuya, who was gobbling down food like his life depended on it. “Is it okay if I sit next to you?”

He paused and looked up at her. “I don’t typically sit with commoners. Luckily, you’ve caught me in a good mood. If you don’t speak, you may eat in my presence.”

She immediately sat down. “Don’t you usually eat breakfast earlier in the morning? I always see you leave when I come in but seeing you this late in the day—”

“What did I just say?”

“S-Sorry!” She started to eat, holding her head close to the bowl in shame.

While some of the louder students enjoyed their breakfast, things were quiet on Byakuya and Kaede’s end for a few minutes until out of nowhere, the door to the dining hall swung open. Now, everyone was silent. Kaede looked up to see Gonta crouched on the ground, holding something black on his shoulder. It wasn’t until he took a few steps and stood up that Kaede realized that he was only crouching to keep what he was holding from hitting the top of the door frame due to his height. Hifumi shot up from his chair.

“G-Good morning, Mistress!” he shuddered. Kaede held her spoon paused in front of her with her jaw dropped when she realized Gonta wasn’t holding an object, he was carrying a person.

“Good morning, all,” the regal girl announced in a French accent. Despite the only thing keeping her held upright was her weak grasp of Gonta’s raised hand, she still managed to maintain perfect posture. Her slender legs, crossed at her ankles, dangled comfortably six feet above the ground and two large amounts of black hair were coiled behind her. Red contacts scanned the room and for a moment, they fell onto Kaede’s still frozen, shocked face. An eyebrow raised upon seeing Kaede, only to return back to her usual poker face. Kaede’s presence meant nothing to her and Kaede could feel it in the way she turned away. Ibuki and Leon let out weak groans in place of greetings.

“A warm welcome, as usual,” Celeste sighed. “No matter. As long as I eat my breakfast in peace, I do not mind.”

“Where Lady Celeste want Gonta to put her?” Gonta asked.

“Sit me over there.” She barely lifted her wrist to point at an empty table furthest away from the rest of the dining room’s inhabitants. He walked over to where she pointed and knelt, allowing Celeste to gracefully step down, her high heels clicking on the tiled floor. Hifumi pulled out a chair for Celeste to sit on, the one where her back would be against the wall, as Kaede dropped her spoon in her bowl at the absurdity of the situation.

Once Celeste sat down, she looked at the table. “Hifumi, where is my drink?”

Hifumi pushed his glasses up. “O-Oh, I was eating before you—“

“You should know the routine by now. I entered this dining hall at a one on my anger scale and now I am at a three.” She rested her chin on her fingers and grinned. “Do not let it go any higher.” Hifumi squealed like a pig and dashed into the kitchen. Celeste looked at Gonta. “As a gentleman, you must do all you can to keep a lady like me from getting angry. Hifumi has already failed.”

“What the hell…?” Kaede said softly. “Sorry, Byakuya, I don’t mean to bother you but… what the hell?”

“You look surprised. You don’t know Celeste?” he patronized.

“I know  _ of  _ her, but I rarely see her.”

Byakuya chuckled. “Don’t be alarmed. This is normal for her.”

“Seriously?” Kaede couldn’t take her eyes away from Celeste.

Gonta scratched his head. “Lady Celeste really that angry from such small thing?”

“But of course,” Celeste replied. “Breakfast sets the mood. A bad morning makes a bad day.”

“Oh… Gonta understand. If Gonta miss breakfast, Gonta sad until next meal.” His eyes lit up. “Can Gonta eat now?”

Celeste shook her head. “A gentleman always waits for the lady to eat first.”

“But Gonta hungry…”

“Too bad,” she giggled. “Be upset at Teruteru’s tardiness, not me. I do not make the rules.”

Gonta slammed his fists onto the table. “Teruteru!” he shouted towards the kitchen. “Please hurry with Lady Celeste’s food! Gonta hungry!”

“It’s almost done! One more minute!” Teruteru called out.

Kaede gasped. “Gonta’s a nice guy but she’s turning him into a monster! And no one’s doing anything about it!”

Byakuya crossed his arms. “Don’t get involved. We’ve all tried. You will only make the situation—“ He was interrupted by Kaede standing up so fast that her chair skidded across the floor.

“Hey!” All eyes were on Kaede as she stomped her way to Celeste with balled fists. “Don’t be mean to Gonta,” she scowled. “...Hifumi either!”

Celeste calmly looked up at her. “Kaede, our paths hardly cross. It is a pleasure to see you.” Kaede didn’t expect her to be so welcoming.

Teruteru came rushing in with a plate held above him. On it was half a baguette, mostly sliced, with two packets of butter and jam and a knife. “One freshly baked baguette made perfectly to your liking, Celeste,” he bragged, gently placing the plate on the table.

“Thank you, Teruteru,” Celeste said. “Please, do not make us wait so long next time.”

“If you don’t want to wait… there are plenty of other things I can prepare for you to eat,” he teased.

“A baguette is fine. Leave.” With Celeste’s demand, Teruteru bowed and backed away into the kitchen. In either hand, Celeste held up a jam and butter packet. “What will it be today, Kaede: jam or butter?”

“Don’t change the subject!” Kaede pointed a finger at Celeste. “You’re being mean for no reason!”

“Jam it is, then,” the goth smiled, putting the butter down and starting to spread jam onto the bread slice. “You may get your food now, Gonta.” Gonta jumped up and ran to the pancakes.

Kaede barked, “You can eat whenever you want. Don’t let her treat you like a slave!”

“Slave?” Celeste laughed. “He is a servant, not a slave.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Slaves are owned. I do not own him, he serves me willingly. Thus, he is my servant.”

“It’s still mean!”

Gonta’s eyes widened at Kaede’s words after getting his food. “Kaede no understand! Lady Celeste no mean, Lady Celeste teach Gonta how to be gentleman. Plus, Lady Celeste likes bugs. No bad person likes bugs.”

“If Gonta says I am not mean, then it must be true.” Celeste giggled, coyly putting her chin to her shoulder.

Hifumi stepped in from the kitchen holding a teacup and placed it in front of Celeste. “Your tea, Mistress.”

“My tea?” Celeste repeated with an eyebrow raised.

“Yes, your royal milk tea… with milk added during the process this time!”

“Hmhm…” Celeste picked up the tea and took a sip. She gave a polite smile as she set it back down on the table. “This milk tea is wonderful, Hifumi,” she comforted before swiftly swatting the teacup off the table like a cat, causing it to shatter into pieces. “I am at a seven now.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Kaede yelled. “Are you crazy!?”

Hifumi slapped his hands to his face. “Wh-What’s wrong, my little white rabbit!?”

“I have cafe au lait in the mornings,” Celeste replied.

“Since when?”

“Since now. Did I not tell you? ...Oops.” Celeste held out her finger that was wrapped in a silver ring, threatening him. “Now, go get me what I need, dumbass!”

Gonta clenched his fists. “You make Lady Celeste angry!? Hifumi bad at being gentleman!”

Hifumi screamed and ran back into the kitchen, passing Kirumi as she came in.

“What happened?” She didn’t seem surprised at all. 

Ibuki pointed at the mess on the floor. “Celeste broke a cup again!”

Angie said, “Atua saw it all!”

Kaede crossed her arms. “ _ Now  _ you guys say something?”

Leon put his hands up in front of him. “I wasn’t gonna say anything. I’m not snitching on  _ that _ chick.”

“Oh, oh! Is Celeste going to get in trouble with Kirumi today?” Angie probed, excitingly squishing her cheeks together.

Kirumi picked up a broom and dustpan in the corner of the room upon seeing the mess. “Celeste, please refrain from breaking the dishes. I have asked you this several times,” she warned, beginning to sweep.

Celeste shrugged, “It was a disgrace to my taste buds. Destruction was its only possible fate. Hifumi is lucky I did not pick it up and aim it at his small forehead.” She took a bite of bread.

Kaede grimaced. “Hifumi didn’t do anything wrong. How was he supposed to know you wanted a different drink when you didn’t tell him until after he had already made the first one?”

“You are getting on my nerves, Ultimate Moral Compass,” Celeste exhaled.

“I’m not an Ultimate Moral Compass, I’m an Ultimate Pianist.”

“‘I’m not an Ultimate Moral Compass,’ you say. I recommend repeating that until you believe it yourself.”

“Wh— Quit joking, I’m being serious!” She was filled with rage. “You can’t treat innocent people like dirt! You’re not special and you’re not a little kid anymore, so don’t freaking act like one!” She turned to everyone else in the room, using a finger to point at each individual. “And none of you should stand around and let jerks like her do whatever she wants. Gonta and Hifumi are our friends. I don’t think she’ll listen to just me but if we all come together and tell her no, she’ll stop.” She lifted two energized fists. “What do you guys think?”

The room went silent as everyone eyed each other. “...Guys?” Kaede pleaded, lowering her arms.

Leon ran his fingers through his hair. “Uh, sorry. I agree with you but… I’m not dealing with that crazy chick.”

Ibuki fearfully tapped her index fingers. “Um… Ibuki thinks if Hifumi and Gonta are happy, then we shouldn’t interfere.”

Angie laughed. “It’s okay, Kaede. As an active member of the Holy Divinity of Sanctitude, Atua watches over and protects Gonta from any harm. Celeste has even sacrificed her blood in approval. If she does anything to Gonta…” She shot a glare at Celeste. “She will face Atua’s wrath.”

Celeste shrugged. “How many times do I have to tell you that it was not my blood?”

Leon extended his arm. “You see? That’s it, that’s exactly what I’m saying! What the fuck was that? What does she  _ mean _ ?  _ Whose _ blood was it? She just  _ has _ other people’s blood?!  _ What the fuck?! _ ”

Kaede dropped her shoulders. “...Are you serious, guys?” Everyone literally turned their backs on her, with Leon holding his face in his hands in fright.

“Do not fret,” Celeste said. “Your words may not have gotten to them, but they have reached me.”

“They have?”

Celeste sighed and folded her hands together onto the table. “Yes, you are quite the motivational speaker. You are right. Hifumi does not deserve my actions.” With her face somber, she called out for Hifumi to return to her. Kaede put her hands on her hips in triumph. Once he scuttled his way to Celeste’s side, she pouted at him.

“Hifumi?”

“Yes, Mistress?”

“Kaede has convinced me of something.” Like a switch, Celeste went from solemn to mischievous, covering her smirk with the tips of her fingers. “I have no use for you anymore. I never want to see you again.”

At the same time, Kaede and Hifumi yelled, “What?!” Kaede shook her head. “That’s not what I meant! You should be nicer, not completely reject him!”

Pools of sweat dripped down Hifumi’s face. “W-Wait! Who’s gonna proofread and edit my fanfiction?!”

“I do not know and I do not care,” Celeste bluntly said.

Hifumi wiped his face. “B-B-But who’s gonna make you tea from now on?”

Celeste looked up at the ceiling, thinking. “I suppose that is true.” She passed over Hifumi’s quick nods and turned to Kirumi. “You are proficient in making milk tea, yes, Kirumi?”

Kirumi held the broken glass in a dustpan. “I am.”

“Are you able to make me royal milk tea for lunch and dinner? And cafe au lait for breakfast?”

Kirumi poured the contents of the pan into a trashcan. “As long as you don’t break any more cups, I can fulfill your request.”

Kaede widened her stance. “Don’t drag Kirumi into your corruption!”

Celeste giggled, disregarding Kaede. “If the drinks are up to my standards, that is a promise I can make.”

Kirumi bowed. “Your wish will be granted.”

Celeste rotated back to Hifumi. “And so it is complete. Goodbye, Hifumi.” Celeste pressed her thumb and middle finger together and held them up. “By the time I snap my fingers, if I still see you, I will have you exterminated like the vermin you are.”

“Nooooo!” Hifumi cried. As soon as Celeste snapped her fingers, he went running out the dining hall in a flash.

Celeste put her fingers together again and glared at Kaede with a wide grin. “Any last words?”

“Wh-What?!”

“Would you like me to disown Gonta as well? I would love to hear more of your words of wisdom.”

Gonta shook his head. “No, Gonta no want that! Gonta want Lady Celeste to teach him how to be more gentlemanly!” He pushed his hands together. “Gonta happy! Please, Kaede, no make Lady Celeste snap,” he begged.

“Do you want to make Gonta upset…?” Celeste asked. “Or will you mind your business?”

With tight shoulders, gritted teeth, and shaking fists, Kaede stamped her foot into the ground. “Oooo…!” Accepting defeat, she spun on her heels and made her way back to Byakuya. With the rage inside her burning its way to her hands, she smacked her chair, causing it to topple over. Immediately, she picked it back up and allowed gravity to plop herself into the seat. “Oooo!”

With his arms crossed and his head low, Byakuya sighed. “I told you not to get involved. Now you’ve gone and ruined a relationship.”

Kaede grasped her spoon. “Someone needs to stop her.”

“You tried and failed. Get over it,” he said, continuing his big breakfast.

She aggressively ate the rest of her cereal as she stared down Celeste, who was quietly eating her baguette as if nothing had happened.

Maybe Kaede should’ve gone to class after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that in film school, they say you're not supposed to start a story with someone waking up?
> 
> It's fanfiction, so I don't care.


	2. Ultimate Delusions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very excited to have my top three favorite characters in one chapter. And yes, this is one of those fics that changes perspective, though it will only be between Kaede and Celeste. I think the different ways they perceive things is fun to write.

_ A dark, empty room. There’s no light, no noise, nothing but the void. _

_ A spotlight turns on to reveal Celestia Ludenberg sitting on a throne, both arms relaxed on the armrests. She looks like a beautiful, enchanting princess. _

No.  _ A queen. _

_ Another spotlight. Across from her is Kyoko Kirigiri, face cold and unemotional. She looks like… _

What would Kyoko look like in this situation? Whatever. It didn’t matter.

_ She looks like Kyoko. She sits on a leather couch. _

_ A third spotlight shines between them, showing a table with an Othello board. _

_ With her arms crossed, Kyoko says, “If you manage to beat me this time, you’ve proved yourself to me. However, I doubt you’ll be able to do it.” _

_ Celestia Ludenberg chuckles. “I have beaten you before. What makes you think I won’t again?” _

_ “I’m always learning,” Kyoko smirked. “I know your patterns now.” _

No. Kyoko wouldn’t say that.

_ “I’m always learning,” Kyoko smirked. “The more we play, the more I understand your patterns.” _

_ “You are mistaken. I have no patterns.” _

_ “Prove me wrong. Shall we begin?” _

_ And begin they did. Back and forth, they placed their pieces and flipped discs until the board was covered with black pieces. _

_ “No…!” Kyoko grimaced, her calm demeanor erased. “That’s… impossible!” _

_ Celestia Ludenberg laughed. “I win again!” _

_ “How could I have been so foolish?!” Kyoko bent forward, bowing to Celestia Ludenberg. “It seems you truly are the Ultimate Perfection.” _

_ Celestia Ludenberg continued to laugh a haughty laugh as she extended her arms, summoning a colony of bats to fly out from behind her throne. _

That was exactly what Celeste expected was going to happen in a few minutes as she made her way to the recreational room, give or take a few minor details. The rec room was the closest thing Celeste had to a research lab because, for whatever reason, only one of the classes got personalized labs. Any student was permitted to use any of the labs, but it seemed incredibly unfair to her. There was a casino on campus, but real money wasn’t allowed. Instead, students had to buy special coins whose currency only bought some prizes, none of which were useful to fulfill her dream of owning and living in a gothic, European castle. At least the rec room had a plethora of games to challenge people at, like Othello.

Even if she wasn’t testing her luck by risking her livelihood, she could hone her skill of profiling others, spotting their tells, and manipulating them into losing the game. This skill was what increased her chances of winning, but her luck would always be her edge.

Celeste peered inside the rec room and saw no one; the perfect scenario. She wanted a pitch-black, empty room. The room wasn’t dark or painted black but that didn’t matter. Empty was the most important part. Despite no one appearing to be in the room, there was a noise coming from the wall. 

_ Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. _

A rhythmic noise.

Celeste had not seen anyone from the window.

Putting two and two together, Celeste used her deductive skills to determine that there was someone in the rec room that she couldn’t see, someone in the corner of the room. When she opened the door, she heard the sound get louder.

_ Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. _

As soon as she stepped inside, it stopped. Turning to her left, she saw she was correct and made eye contact with Maki in an oversized grey hoodie and sweatpants in early May, like an insecure loser. In her hands was a Pinky ball, presumably the source of the noise.

Celestia Ludenberg: Ultimate Detective. If she really wanted to, Celeste could be an Ultimate Detective. Easy. Unfortunately, there were more pressing matters that delayed her career planning. Celeste looked at the clock; there were only four minutes before Kyoko arrived. She had to get Maki out fast.

“Hello, Maki,” Celeste politely greeted with a warm but fake smile.

Maki blinked, turned to the wall, and resumed tossing the ball at it without saying anything.

_ Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. _

How rude.

“Excuse me, Maki, but I have an important meeting in this room very soon. May I ask you to leave?” Celeste knew very little about Maki, only that she was the Ultimate Child Caregiver and that she usually kept to herself. Maybe she didn’t keep to herself. She didn’t know. There were a select few that earned the right for Celeste to pay attention to and Maki wasn’t one of them. Since she didn’t know Maki, she figured the best option was to be as polite as possible; that got the best results with most people.

However, instead of Maki’s voice, the only noise in the room was the sound of the ball hitting the wall.

_ Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. _

Finally, Maki opened her mouth. “...This is a recreational room. You shouldn’t have important meetings here,” she droned.

Three minutes left. Why was Maki talking so slowly? This was an urgent situation.

“We have this meeting every Tuesday at four. It should not take longer than thirty minutes. You are free to return afterward.”

_ Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. _

“...I won’t bother you.” Maki was being annoying on purpose with that stupid ball, at least that’s what Celeste felt.

“It is a private meeting.”

“...This is a space for everyone. You can’t be exclusive.” Maki threw the ball a little harder. Based on no solid evidence, Celeste  _ knew  _ it was a threat. “Go somewhere else.”

Two minutes left. Celeste was getting pissed off and Maki just threatened to fight her. Why? She didn’t do anything, she asked politely. Could she take Maki in a fight? With the hoodie and sweatpants, Celeste didn’t know if she had any fitness that indicated how strong she was. She’d never seen Maki work out either but then again, she never paid attention. Celeste knew she was weak but was Maki weaker? It would be fine, if push came to shove, she’d just gouge her eyes out.

...What was she thinking? Ladies don’t get into physical fights.

Celeste sighed. “There is no need to be angry,” she said to both Maki and herself. “I am asking you politely.”

“...I’m not angry. And you aren’t being polite, you’re being selfish.”

“You are very clearly angry,” Celeste deflected. “How about you cool off in your lab and come back in, say… thirty minutes? I am certain we can finish this discussion then.”

_ Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. Tha-dunk. _

“...No.” Maki was such a bitch. A stubborn, uncooperative,  _ dim-witted, sadistic, shit-headed  _ bitch _. _

“You are not even doing anything,” Celeste said, speeding up her words.

_ Tha-dunk. _

“...I came here to lounge. That’s what I’m doing.”

“You are intruding in  _ my _ space.” 

One minute left.

_ Tha-dunk. _

“...Your parents spoiled you too much. Learn to share.”

Celeste could feel the gears of patience grinding to a stop. Metal on metal, the gears skid against each other with a noise that could rupture eardrums. With a sudden, fiery rage consuming her, Celeste caught the ball before Maki could and threw it against the opposite wall with all her strength.

“ _ Bitch _ ,” Celeste shouted, “if you don’t get the fuck out here, I’ll tear your stupid, disgusting face off!”

Quickly, the bitch’s stance turned defensive at the threat with a glare as cold as ice. “Do you wanna die?”

“How dare you threaten me!” Celeste screamed.

“You’re the one that threatened me.”

Through gritted teeth, Celeste said, “You insulted my family.”

Maki narrowed her eyes. “So? Doesn’t give you a free pass to throw things like an immature brat.”

“Immature?” A laugh escaped her lips. “I was incredibly civil. You are the stubborn one.”

“...You have no self-awareness, do you?”

“Yes, I do. Now leave!”

“Is your meeting  _ that _ important?”

“As important as the world ending.” Technically, she wasn’t lying. Meeting with Kyoko every Tuesday was that important to Celeste.

Maki pushed air out of her nose. “Fine.” Slowly, she backed away from Celeste and picked the ball up off the floor. “You’re such a baby.” She made her way to the door, but it was too late. Time had run out.

Before Maki put her hand on the door handle, the door opened to reveal one of the few C-Rank students at Hope’s Peak, Kyoko Kirigiri. She was intelligent, stoic, respected; everything Celeste wanted to be and perfectly on time as always. At the sight of her, Maki took a step back, her face frozen in caution.

“Oh, hello, Maki,” Kyoko greeted. Her face didn’t show any apparent expression but there was the smallest inflection in her voice that Celeste could hear; suspicion. When Kyoko made eye contact with Celeste, she could feel her own body forcefully calm itself down. She couldn’t let Kyoko, of all people, see that she was angry.

“I was just leaving,” Maki said. “You should probably get going too. Apparently, there’s an ‘important meeting’ going on in here.”

“Important meeting?” Kyoko shifted from a neutral face of confusion to a neutral face of annoyance. “Is Celeste kicking you out?” Kyoko guessed, monotone.

“...Yeah?”

Kyoko shook her head. Celeste felt her heart beat faster as Kyoko made her way past Maki, whose eyes followed her carefully. “What exactly did Celeste say to you, Maki? Whatever it was, she was lying.”

“I said the two of us have business every Tuesday at four,” Celeste butted in, trying to regain control. “At no point did I lie.”

“If you want me to leave, then I’ll leave. It’s not that big of a deal.” Maki said to Kyoko. Celeste was confused by Maki’s sudden change. She had been polite and Maki gave her rude backtalk, but Kyoko had barely done anything and Maki was willing to listen? What was their relationship?

Kyoko walked up to the board games and picked one up. “We’re just playing Othello.”

Maki furrowed her eyebrows. “...Are you kidding me?  _ That’s _ your important meeting?”

Kyoko moved up to Celeste. “I suspected you’ve been doing this. Strangely, we always start with no one in the room. Explain yourself,” she demanded.

Normally, Celeste would take offense at anyone telling her what to do, especially so forcefully, but this was Kyoko. She didn’t want Kyoko to dislike her. “I was only minimizing distractions.” She twirled a lock of her hair, trying to look as innocent as possible. “What is the point of playing if you are not at your highest potential?”

“You think I’m that easily distracted?”

Celeste could hear how insulted Kyoko was. “No, I would never think such a thing.”

“Will you be distracted with Maki being here?”

“Of course not,” Celeste scoffed. She couldn’t let Kyoko think of her as lesser. “Maki is one of the most boring and disinteresting students here. If the room were painted grey instead of blue, with those ugly clothes she is wearing, I would have mistaken her for the wall.”

“Then there’s no problem.” Kyoko turned to Maki. “Why don’t you stay? This is a community area after all. You’re free to lounge here. We won’t bother you.” This wasn’t going according to what Celeste imagined  _ at all _ .

For a moment, Maki and Kyoko stared at each other. By their looks, Kyoko’s seemingly kind words weren’t welcoming, they were a challenge. Celeste shot Maki a glare that threatened, “Fucking leave,” but Maki never tore her eyes away from Kyoko. At that point, it was a stand-off.

Why the fuck was Maki getting all of Kyoko’s attention?

“Alright,” the attention-seeker stated, putting her hands in her hoodie.

Kyoko walked to one of the tables and sat down at one of the couches next to it. Preparing the Othello board, she said, “You know, Celeste, if you weren’t spending all your time trying to ‘minimize distractions,’ you could’ve set up the board.”

Celeste sat down across from her. “And break our tradition? I would never rob you of one of the world’s greatest pleasures: doing things for me.” Waiting for Kyoko, she side-eyed Maki, watching her set up solitaire at a table across the room. What a lonely little slug, playing solitaire by herself, starving for attention so much that she needs to be in the same room as Kyoko. How pathetic! Didn’t she realize that Kyoko’s attention was earned and not donated like some sort of food bank? When Maki looked up, Celeste didn’t look away. They stared daggers at each other, solidifying a deep resentment with each second that passed. It was Maki’s fault for making Celeste look like a fool in front of Kyoko and she was going to hold that grudge for as long as she needed to.

“Distracted?” Celeste heard Kyoko say. Quickly, she turned back to the finished board and Kyoko, who looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

Celeste giggled, playing it off. “Who will be going first?” Celeste flipped one of the pieces. It landed on black in her hands. “Looks like it will be me.” Taking on the role of black in the game, the color that starts at an advantage, she smiled.

And so it began. The weekly game of Othello. All of Celeste’s focus was on the game and Kyoko. Maki meant nothing to her. The only thing that mattered for the next thirty minutes was what was in front of her.

It was unfortunate that Kyoko never wanted to gamble with Celeste and instead chose to test her deductive skills with Othello. In turn, Celeste could attempt to read past her mask, at least that was what Celeste told her. In reality, this was her chance to train and prove herself not as an Ultimate Gambler but as Celestia Ludenberg.

Celestia Ludenberg was unemotional, clever, sociable, yet reserved to the point of becoming mysterious. Kyoko was all those things and if she recognized it, then the pathetic loser, Taeko Yasuhiro, had been destroyed and Celestia Ludenberg had truly taken her place. All she needed was Kyoko to approve of her, then Celeste would have everything she needed.

Aside from the bats.

The only problem was Kyoko never interacted with her outside of the designated time she had. Why? It had to have been because Kyoko was very busy most of the day. She went to every class, every day, always studied, and was always solving murder cases. She  _ did _ make sure to take the time out of her day so she could specifically meet with Celeste. That was a good sign. That was proof enough that Kyoko enjoyed Celeste’s company.

Or tolerated her company.

No. Celeste didn’t have time to feel self-doubt. That wasn’t what Celestia Ludenberg would feel. Celeste had to think of something to say, something that would prove Kyoko liked her. Something to push the recurring thought away, that stupid, bubbling thought that always rose up like fatal smoke.

“I had coffee this morning,” Celeste said, placing her first disc. “I added milk to it, of course. It was quite good. I think I will be having it every morning.” Kyoko liked coffee; they could bond over that. That’s why she had cafe au lait in the first place.

Kyoko made her move without saying anything, eyes fixated on the board. Was she not impressed that Celeste had tried her favorite drink? First, she started wearing blazers and ties just like Kyoko and she didn’t say anything and now the coffee. What was the point of drinking coffee if Kyoko didn’t care? Did Kyoko not care? Celeste figured she should mention something she knew Kyoko cared about.

“...How are you and Makoto doing?” Celeste asked, flipping discs.

“Fine.” One would think Kyoko would at least talk about her recently acquired boyfriend but apparently not. Celeste was no stranger to talking to herself, but it was a little embarrassing to try to have a conversation with someone only to be shut down every time. She appreciated silence, but not Kyoko’s silence. Kyoko always said just enough, but Celeste always wanted to say more. 

If only she could be more like Kyoko.

Celeste picked up an Othello disc and toyed with it, looking down at it in disappointment and waiting for Kyoko to make her play. When she looked back up, she saw Kyoko with her head slightly tilted, her eyes on Maki.

What the  _ fuck _ was so interesting about Maki? Maki was nobody, just a stupid, boring child caregiver. Celeste was a fucking  _ gambler. _ Wouldn’t a detective be more interested in a literal criminal than a goddamn  _ housewife? _ Why Maki? Why that bitch? This was  _ exactly _ why Celeste kicked people out of the room. Sure, Kyoko would be fine playing Othello with people around but that wasn’t the point. Kyoko’s attention wasn’t infinite. Celeste only had about thirty minutes of the week to be with Kyoko and she didn’t want Kyoko’s mind to be elsewhere.

Celeste looked at Maki through her peripheral vision. Maki was just playing solitaire. Nothing. She was doing nothing. Boring. Uninteresting. So what was with that stand-off earlier? Why did Maki look at Kyoko as if she feared her? Did Kyoko want Maki to stay so she could watch her boring ass play solitaire? Fine then. Whatever. Fuck Kyoko.

Like a weighted hook latched onto her heart, Celeste felt a wave of depression hit her. The feeling of being completely ignored; why must it be so familiar? She had put so much work into making herself more interesting just to get ignored again. Celeste wanted to give up. Give up on Kyoko, give up on servants, give up on Celestia Ludenberg. What was the point anyway?

If Celeste hadn’t been keeping up her poker face, she’d roll her eyes at herself. What the hell was wrong with her that she was so unstable that she felt like garbage because Kyoko  _ looked _ at someone? It was just a look, it didn’t mean anything. She needed to calm down. Celestia Ludenberg didn’t have useless feelings like that. Those were the paranoid thoughts of Taeko, an annoying, emotional weakling. Celeste had to remind herself who she was.

“Celestia Ludenberg,” she mumbled to herself. “Celestia… Ludenberg…”

“Excuse me?” Kyoko asked, overhearing her.

Celeste covered her tracks. “No matter how many times I hear it, I never tire of hearing my own name. It is a beautiful name, is it not?”

“It’s… a name, alright.” This time, Kyoko looked directly at Celeste, shoulders back and her back straight. If Celeste wasn’t positive Kyoko liked her name, she’d think she was looking right through her. Like Kyoko knew something she wasn’t supposed to.

But that wasn’t possible. Even as the Ultimate Detective, Kyoko had no way of knowing that.

The Othello game continued with Celeste attempting to make conversation and Kyoko responding with a few words if she responded at all. Every so often, there was an occasional glance at Maki, but it was fine. Celeste was  _ fine _ . Maki was a loser playing a game by herself and Celeste was playing Othello with Kyoko. Everything was fine.

Until two idiots burst through the rec room door.

“Alright!” the boy shouted, slamming his fists together, somehow managing to keep his jacket from falling off his shoulder. “Let’s settle this!”

“Ha!” the girl laughed. “I’m  _ sure _ I’ll beat you.” Upon seeing the others already in the room, she waved at everyone. “Hi-i!” she sang. When she made eye contact with Celeste, she gasped and walked up to the table, her high heels clattering against the floor. “Celeste! How’s my favorite little goth lolita?”

As the two most fashionable students in the school, Celeste enjoyed the occasional conversation with the D-Ranked Junko, one of the few students that genuinely liked her. However, Junko was also nosy as all hell and Celeste valued her privacy. If there was anything she wanted to keep a secret, which was essentially anything personal, Junko was the last person she would tell, else she’d risk the entire school finding out.

With Junko’s wide stance, her hands on her hips, and shining eyes locked on Celeste, she knew Junko wanted something from her. And there was no way to stop her without risking her image to Kyoko. “I am doing well,” she smiled. “As you can see, I am playing Othello with Kyoko.”

Unfortunately, Junko was an airhead and didn’t take the hint that she was bothering her. Instead, she leaped over the table and sat comfortably next to Celeste. Her agility in high heels was disturbingly admirable. “Ew, Othello? Pass! That’s, like, totally lame-o.” Kyoko, unfazed, continued playing. Junko watched the play. “Kyoko, how are you and Makoto doing?”

“Good,” Kyoko said, crossing her arms. “He bought me a handbook from the school store yesterday. It’s a generic gift but I don’t mind, as long as it’s useful.” There was the smallest curl of the sides of her mouth; the tiniest smile. What the  _ fuck? _ Why didn’t she say all of that before when Celeste had asked her the  _ exact _ same thing? It was probably because Junko was an idiot who couldn’t understand Kyoko when she said as little as possible. Celeste understood what Kyoko meant by ‘fine,’ even though ‘fine’ and ‘good’ have different implications. Whatever. Unimportant. Celeste was smart, Junko was dumb.

Meanwhile, Kaito sat across from Maki. “Hey, Maki, how’s it goin’?”

“Don’t bother me,” Maki bluntly said.

“Huh? I just wanted to know how you were. You’re always hiding in your lab.” This garnered Kyoko’s eyes for a moment.

“Hm,” Maki shrugged.

“Junko and I are gonna play darts. You wanna join?”

Junko called out, “Yeah, it’ll be fun! You look like someone who would be good at darts.”

Without hesitation, Kyoko and Maki looked at each other.

“...It’s too noisy in here,” Maki said, standing up. “I’m leaving.” Celeste heard the distress in her voice.

“Hey, wait!” Kaito reached out. “Why don’t we hang out sometime?”

“Please…” Maki turned her back to him. “Just pretend I don’t go to school here.” With that, she finally left the rec room. Kaito put his hands on his hips and sighed, pouting at the door. That interaction must happen a lot.

Junko snaked her arm around Celeste’s shoulders. “Anyway… Celeste, my buddy, my gal pal, my main bitch—”

“You want something from me, yes? Spit it out and get off of me.”

Junko didn’t move and instead leaned in closer. “I heard you beat up Kaede and killed Hifumi.”

Celeste blinked. That was absurd. Ladies didn’t get into fights. Hopefully, knowing that it was Junko saying this, Kyoko didn’t believe such a ridiculous rumor. “I do not mind the occasional rumor as they do not bother me,” she lied, “but that is utterly ridiculous. I am assuming you are referring to this morning?”

“Yeah! Obviously, I know you didn’t kill Hifumi. Kyoko and I had class with him, like, an hour ago. I wanna know about Kaede. What happened? What’s your beef with her? Spill the tea, sis!” There was a light sparkle in Junko’s eyes; she loved gossiping.

Kaito looked frustrated. “I already told you what Kaede told me—”

Junko waved her wrist up and down. “Shhh! You gotta get both sides of the story!”

Kyoko raised an eyebrow. “I admit being a little curious myself. I’ve heard a variety of things, though none as violent as Junko’s take.”

“What have you heard?” Celeste asked, fearful of her image.

“It doesn’t matter, as long as you tell the truth.”

The truth? Fuck that. Kyoko was finally talking. If Celeste told the truth, then the conversation would be over and Kyoko would go back to being quiet. Detectives liked solving mysteries, right? A little white lie would be fun for both of them.

“I was peacefully eating my breakfast this morning… when I suddenly found myself under attack by Kaede. In my distress, I seemed to have accidentally summoned a demon that protected me. How lucky of me.” Junko wasn’t getting any information.

Kaito’s face turned pale. “D-Demon!?”

“Yes. I remember the butler uniform he wore very clearly… Anyway, he made Kaede leave me alone and Hifumi’s soul was taken as collateral. However, I am in quite a pickle as now I have signed a contract for the demon to take my soul when I am finished with him. I will have to figure that out later.” She laughed at her joke. Celeste knew Kyoko hated anime and manga, so Celeste’s reference to one of her favorites would go completely over her head. As long as Kyoko didn’t find out about her secret interest, the joke was hilarious. Celestia Ludenberg: Ultimate Comedian.

“Demons aren’t real!” Kaito stressed.

“Hmhm. If that is what you choose to believe.”

Junko sighed. “Dammit, Celeste, you never tell me anything. Don’t you know keeping secrets bottled up make them explode?”

Celeste shrugged. “I told you what happened. I have no secrets to tell.”

“Boo, you suck.” She stood up with a sigh. “Your makeup looks great by the way.” Turning to Kaito, she stretched her fingers. “You ready to get your dart game on?”

“I, uh… I think I’m gonna head back to my room.” His whole body was shaking and sweat was starting to pool at his collar. Celeste, uncaring, made a play in Othello. Her luck sure was pulling through.

Junko rolled her eyes. “Oh, c’mon, don’t tell me you got spooked by a little demon story. That’s some real omega male shit!”

“I-I’m not scared and I’m not an omega! I’m just catchin’ a cold or somethin’! We can play another time.” Looking like he was about to throw up, he left.

Junko’s shoulders dropped. “Ugh. Men.”

Celeste smiled, “It looks like you will have to find something else to do.”

“I guess so.” Junko put up a peace sign and grinned. “I’m gonna go mess with my sister. Later, bitches!” She exited the rec room. That was a lot easier than expected.

Finally, they were alone and they could focus on their game. More importantly, Kyoko’s complete attention was on Celeste.

“So Kaede attacked you?” Kyoko asked. “Physically?”

“No, she randomly came up to me as I was eating and started shouting at me.”

“I find that hard to believe without you doing something first.”

“I was not doing anything different than I normally do.”

“Ah.” Kyoko nodded. “That’s why.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I heard you broke a cup. Is that true?”

“I do not remember,” Celeste lied, playing with her hair.

Kyoko looked down at the board, turning more discs as she continued to play. “You’re telling me that you get so angry when you do that, you blackout?”

“I do not ‘blackout’ as I do not get angry. I did not do anything that warranted Kaede’s aggression.”

“You purposefully broke a cup.”

“I did not. Why does it matter?” Celeste made her next move in Othello.

“I’m trying to explain to you why Kaede was angry.”

“She was upset before that.”

“So, you  _ did _ break it,” Kyoko said, looking Celeste in the eyes.

Fuck.

“Hmhm,” Celeste giggled. “I expect nothing less from an Ultimate Detective.”

Kyoko crossed her arms. “I am supposed to be using my talent to solve difficult murder cases, not common acts of violence.”

“Common?” Celeste scoffed.

“Yes.” Kyoko flipped a disc. “Common.”

“I am appalled that you would think of me as such. With all the wealth I have accumulated over the years, I am far from common.”

“I never said you were common, I said your violent acts are. Interesting that you assumed that was what I meant.”

Fuck.

Celeste shook her head. “I am not violent either.”

“What’s your definition of violent?”

Celeste looked at the board. In a couple of moves, Kyoko was going to win. She knew she couldn’t outsmart Kyoko, so, like she had to do every time they played Othello, she did something Kyoko wouldn’t expect. “Violence is intentional harm. I would never intend to hurt anyone, although, as I said previously, some are taken as collateral.” Celeste placed a disc at random, relying on her luck that it was the right move to make or that it would at least throw Kyoko off.

Kyoko pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “So you have a hard time controlling your feelings? Noted.”

“Excuse me? I have no clue what you are talking about. I have complete control over my emotions.”

Kyoko paused. “You break things, a violent act, whether intentional or not. In my experience, I’ve only known people to do that in rage. You claim you don’t mean to be violent, that you don’t mean to hurt anyone. This would imply that you don’t want to do these things, yet you do it anyway. So when you break things, your feelings at the time are uncontrollable, else you wouldn’t do it. Am I wrong?”

Fuck.

“...You are dead wrong,” Celeste lied.

“I know.”

“You know… that you are wrong?”

“Of course. I am basing that hypothesis solely on what you told me, assuming everything you told me was the truth. But it wasn’t, was it?”

Celeste snickered.

“At some point, you lied. I believe it was when you said you have no intention to harm. From what I know about you… that would be a very personal thing for you to say to me. You’re a gambler. You don’t open up. You would never say something like that.”

Celeste snickered again.

“You have every intention to harm. People, on average, mean nothing to you. You see people as props to play with and toss away when you’re done, much like the teacup. You’re entertained by other people’s pain.”

“And you are entertained by those who enjoy the suffering of others.” Celeste spun an Othello piece in her fingers. “In a way, we are two sides of the same coin.”

Kyoko placed a disc on the board. “I like  _ solving mysteries _ , which is why I’m trying to piece together what exactly happened this morning and explain to you why Kaede was angry.”

“Oh, I knew why she was upset,” Celeste grinned, making her last move of the game. “It is not my fault that Kaede got so emotional. We simply have different morals.”

“You’re making contradictory statements. You said you didn’t know but now you say you did.”

“Hmhm. I am quite mysterious, don’t you think?”

They stared at each other, Kyoko’s face blank and Celeste’s heart pounding in anticipation as time appeared to slow down.

But in place of words, Kyoko put her disc on the only available space left, making her last move as well. After counting the number of discs each side had, they both realized Celeste had the most pieces. This was it. This was the moment.

Celeste waited.

And waited… 

And waited… 

And Kyoko exhaled.

She waited again, but Kyoko’s expected declaration didn’t come.

“I win again!” Celeste shouted, relieving the wound tension inside her. Maybe skipping to the next line would help.

Kyoko nodded. “You have.”

Goddammit, that wasn’t what she was supposed to say. Celeste had to get her on track. “It seems I truly am the Ultimate Perfection, yes?”

Kyoko quietly stared at the board. 

Celeste leaned forward. “It seems I truly am the Ultimate Perfection,  _ yes _ ?”

“You’re copying Byakuya?”

“Copying? We merely have the same thought at the same time. We are quite similar.”

“Sure,” Kyoko said, standing up to leave.

“H-Hey.” Celeste sprung up. This wasn’t right. This was bad, very, very bad. “Are you not going to recognize my phenomenal ability to continuously outwit you?” She extended her arms, waiting for the perfect opportunity to release the mind bats.

“Outwit?” Kyoko put a finger to her cheek, thinking. “Is that what you think you’re doing?”

“Of course. Othello is a game of one hundred percent strategy. I outsmart you every time I win.”

“You play at random,” Kyoko stated, folding her arms. “The more we play, the more I understand you don’t follow a pattern. You can’t figure out how to beat me, so you found a way to use your luck. You thought I never noticed?”

Celeste dropped her arms to her side, disappointed.

Kyoko continued, “There is something stronger than your luck. You aren’t an Ultimate Lucky Student, after all. Once I figure out what it is, it’s all over for you,” she smirked. Desperately, Celeste wanted to tell Kyoko that Celeste  _ had _ outsmarted her when Kyoko’s analysis of Celeste was wrong, but even that wasn’t true. Celeste had decided to randomly tell the truth and it ended up working out in her favor.

“You are mistaken. There is no force stronger than my luck,” Celeste calmly said, trying to keep her cool.

“Prove me wrong.” Kyoko turned towards the door. “I’ll see you next week.”

With the sound of the door shutting, Celeste let out a yelp of anger. She swung her arms, knocking over the Othello board and making the pieces fly. She screamed again before stomping the ground, pissed that Kyoko didn’t follow her script.

And so, Celeste stood there, infuriated and alone. If she could’ve kept Kyoko’s interest, maybe she would’ve stayed. Why wasn’t she interesting enough?

When would Celeste ever be enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In an alternate timeline, Celeste would kin Grell.


	3. Leaders and Sidekicks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ever writing your characters going through something and realize you're experiencing the exact same thing? Yeah, that happened to me while editing this chapter. This is why writing is good, kids, you learn things about yourself that you didn't expect.

Kaede danced along to one of Sayaka’s pre-recorded performances on the television in her room. Occasionally, she would use the hairbrush she was singing into to sweep her hair back, before finally tying it into a ponytail. As much as Kaede loved classical and romantic era music, she enjoyed all music, especially the kind that influenced others and one of the most influential people in the country at the moment was the Ultimate Pop Sensation. Sayaka had thousands of fans that probably wrote to her every day, but a little text of appreciation was always nice.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Hey i know this is random but i wanted to tell you youre super cool and pretty and overall amazing!

 **Sayaka Maizono:** Awww you’re so sweet!! (*＾▽＾)／ And you’re pretty too! I’m sure every boy here has a crush on you!

Kaede felt her chest tighten and her stomach drop. That sounded like agony. Kaede responded in the nicest way she could think of.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Loooool

A knock on the door made Kaede instantly reach for the remote and turn the TV off. When she opened the door, she was greeted by Shuichi in a t-shirt, gym shorts, and his typical baseball cap.

“Just give me a minute,” she said, letting him into her room. “I still need to get changed.”

“Why are you sweaty already?” he wondered as she grabbed her own t-shirt and gym shorts from her dresser.

“Why are you wearing your hat to training again?” Kaede deflected, embarrassed. Dancing alone was a normal thing pretty much everyone did, but admitting to it was another story.

He instinctively grabbed his hat and lowered it. “I… like wearing it.”

“Whatever.” Kaede went into her bathroom to start changing. “I’m not judging,” she sang out, rolling her eyes. She recalled the strange story that he had told her a few weeks ago about his fear of looking people in the eyes after a case he solved. “I don’t think you should worry about that stuff.”

“I know, but it doesn’t change how I feel.”

How many times had they had this conversation? How many times had Kaede told Shuichi not to be so anxious over small things, but he continued anyway? It was a little frustrating not knowing the right thing to say to him, even more-so not being able to help the closest friend she’d made at the academy so far. Nonetheless, she wouldn’t stop correcting his fears as she hoped one day her words would stick. Until then, she would continue speaking from her own experiences.

“Sometimes before a recital,” she said as she replaced her shirt, “I get really nervous about messing up in front of all those people. But once I get out there and start playing, all that fear goes away. If I stayed behind the curtain for too long, I’d get even more nervous. So, I think if you just go out there and do it, you’d realize you have nothing to worry about! Kinda like ripping off a bandage.”

Shuichi didn’t respond. Kaede just sighed and put on her gym shorts.

_Ding Dong Bing Bong_

The nighttime bell rang across the school at exactly ten p.m. with the Monocubs on the monitor announcing that the gym and dining hall were now locked. Kaede opened the bathroom door and saw Shuichi sitting on the end of her bed with his head resting on his fist. Kaede had to say something to cheer him up. “Okay, it’s time to go to training. Are you ready to get _ripped_?!”

“Ah… I don’t know about ripped,” he replied. It looked like changing the subject got him out of moping. 

“I’m gonna be as toned as Sakura!” Kaede gasped. “Can you imagine that?! That’s, like, the perfect summer body.”

Shuichi laughed and shook his head. “No, not really. It’s weird to think of you being that buff. Plus, I think it takes a lot more than a couple of sit-ups every night to be like her. She’s been training her whole life.”

Kaede clicked her tongue and put her phone and e-handbook in her pockets. “What about Tenko or Aoi? Or Peko? They all have great bodies.” With Shuichi following her, Kaede exited her room and the two headed towards Kaito’s. “Or Tsumugi? I don’t think she works out, but she’s super curvy, you know what I mean? I guess that’s more fat than muscle…”

“Do girls normally stare at each other’s bodies like that?,” Shuichi asked.

“We’re not _staring_ . It’s not bad to recognize that someone is attractive. I _literally_ texted Sayaka telling her she was pretty, like, ten minutes ago.”

“Sorry, I’ve just never heard a girl talk about other girls the same way you do.”

“Really? Well then, you gotta start hanging out with more girls. We say nice things about each other all the time.”

They soon arrived at Kaito’s room. “Nice? I don’t know, you kind of sound like some guys I know,” Shuichi said, knocking on the door.

“No! It’s different when _I_ say it because I’m not thinking about, you know, gross stuff like guys do.”

“ _I_ don’t think like that! I try not to look at girls because I don’t want them to think I’m thinking about that kind of stuff because I’m not!”

Kaito swung open the door, wearing a tank top and basketball shorts. “You guys ready?”

“Kaito, do you ever think about girls with hot bodies?” Kaede accused, wanting to make sure her other friend wasn’t thinking wrong things.

“Who?” He asked as he walked down the steps towards the dorm’s exit. “Like Sayaka?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She suddenly realized what he said and what she agreed to. “Wait— no! Ew, Kaito!”

Kaito lifted his hands in confusion. “What? What’d I do?”

Kaede clenched her fists. “You can’t think about girls like that!”

“What’s wrong with thinking?”

By the time they got to the courtyard, she could feel her eyebrow twitching. “It’s not just _thinking_ , you can’t think about certain gross things.”

“Why not?”

“Because you— I don’t know, because it’s gross.” She didn’t have the words to describe what she felt.

Shuichi and Kaito looked at each other, clearly not wanting to pull the strings of Kaede’s exposed nerve. “I guess I kind of understand what you’re trying to say,” Kaito carefully said, “but it’s probably not that big of a deal. Thoughts are just thoughts after all.”

Kaede crossed her arms in frustration. “If there was another girl here, she’d understand and she’d explain it better.”

Kaito tilted his head in thought. “Hm. That’s not a bad idea.” A lightbulb turned on over his head. “A really good idea, actually!”

“What do you mean?” Kaede questioned.

Kaito was suddenly filled with vigor. “I’ve been thinking about this for a bit, but I didn’t know how to tell you guys. Why don’t we invite more people?”

Kaede and Shuichi blinked before Shuichi adjusted his hat. “I’m fine with just us.”

“Hear me out,” Kaito insisted. “The three of us are close, right? We make a pretty great team. Our friendship is powerful enough to rocket us into space! So… why not share it with people who… need it?”

Shuichi hesitated. “Like show it off? That seems a little weird.”

“No, no, here’s what I’m thinkin’: each of us brings someone who’s weak or suffering or seems like they just need a friend. Once they’re a part of the team, they won’t be lonely anymore. Plus, Kaede won’t be upset about being the only girl.”

Kaede narrowed her eyes, contemplating. Someone weak or needs friends, huh?

“That sounds nice,” Shuichi said, “but don’t you think it’s strange to be working out with someone you don’t know?”

Kaito shook his head. “You’ll get to know them through training. I already have someone in mind, what about you guys?”

Kaede now had her eyes closed, deep in thought. There were tons of people at Hope’s Peak who seemed like they needed a couple of friends. Miu, Ryoma, Maki, Korekiyo… and those were just people in her class. Honestly, she didn’t really speak to anyone outside of her class other than Sayaka and Ibuki. At the very least, she was on friendly acquaintances with most of the other students, so getting to know someone on a more personal level from one of the other classes sounded like a pretty good idea and to be able to help them out with whatever problem they had seemed even better.

And another girl would be nice.

“I’m in!” Kaede expressed.

Shuichi was shocked. “Kaede! You’re going along with this?!”

“Isn’t that how you and I became friends? You were too shy to talk to anyone so I approached you and eventually introduced you to Kaito. This is the exact same thing.”

“I… I guess? Still, I doubt anyone is going to agree this late.”

Kaito spoke up. “If I didn’t know you already and I asked you right now to work out with me, would you do it?”

“I don’t know… maybe?” Shuichi shrugged. Kaede knew he would; Shuichi was that kind of person.

“See? You have nothing to worry about.” Kaito slapped his hands together. “So, are you in or are you in?”

“I guess I don’t have a choice,” Shuichi groaned, dropping his shoulders.

“Awesome, now get your asses moving! We don’t have all night.” And with that, Kaito ran back into the dorms.

Shuichi pressed his hands on the top of his hat. “Ugh… I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t even know who to ask.”

“I’m gonna find someone in one of the other classes,” Kaede said.

“Who?”

“I don’t know, I’ll just see where the wind takes me. We’ll all meet back here, okay?”

“Kaede, wait!” Shuichi yelled, reaching out. But it was too late, Kaede had her agenda set and had already darted into Hope’s Peak Academy.

While class C had their own dorms separated from the school, classes A and B were inside, class A being on the first floor and class B on the second. For now, Kaede decided to stay on the first floor, eyeing the nameplates on everyone’s door. Who was she going to ask? Most people in class A were pretty friendly and she wouldn’t describe many of them to be weak. Chihiro seemed physically weak, but she still had her group of friends. Kiyotaka seemed more like he was stressed out as their class representative than like he was suffering. He’d probably get pretty mad about people being active past nighttime anyway.

Kaede caught sight of one nameplate: Toko Fukawa. Realistically, Toko was probably the best candidate for training with how shy and paranoid she was with others. However, there was a heinous rumor going around about Toko saying she was secretly a serial killer and even though Kaede didn’t necessarily believe it, this was Hope’s Peak Academy that housed criminal students like Mondo and Fuyuhiko. An Ultimate Serial Killer wasn’t that far fetched and Kaede figured it would be best to stay cautious rather than dead, even if it was just hearsay.

She recalled the rumor about her that Kaito warned her about during lunch and Junko confronted her about at dinner. Events of that morning repeated through her head; Celeste being carried by Gonta, Celeste breaking the cup, Celeste pretending to agree with Kaede, only to throw it back in her face. Old rage built up inside Kaede, remembering that there wasn’t anything she could do about Celeste.

Nothing she could do at that moment.

Kaede crossed her arms and held herself tightly, thinking.

Celestia Ludenberg: Ultimate Gambler. Despite her polite exterior, it was all an illusion as she was harsh to everyone around her; an absolute bully. From what Kaede knew about bullies, they were always sad, lonely people who didn’t know how to make friends, so they unleashed their frustration by treating others like garbage. That was an obvious weakness in character. Celeste didn’t seem to have friends that Kaede knew of— even though she just met her that morning— only the ones she treated like slaves. Celeste had called them servants, but Kaede was still convinced they were slaves since there was no way someone would willingly serve someone like her without being brainwashed first.

Byakuya had told her to give up on her, but how was Celeste supposed to change if everyone gave up? Kaede was determined; she was going to be the one to change Celeste. No matter what, she wasn’t going to give up. After all, that mindset was how she became the Ultimate Pianist; hard work and determination was all you needed to be successful. Perhaps even to make someone else successful.

Kaede looked around for Celeste’s room, not seeing her name on any of the doors. There was one, however, with no nameplate but a thin layer of adhesive and slightly chipped paint where one should be. Knowing Celeste was in class A and by using the process of elimination, that room had to be hers. With Chopin’s Military Polonaise playing in her head, Kaede tapped her knuckles against the hard door.

Her thought process proved to be right as the door ever so slowly creaked open but only a crack. The only thing Kaede could see was a single, brown iris.

“Hello…?” Celeste cautioned.

“Hey!” Kaede waved, putting on a friendly face. “How’s it going?”

Celeste didn’t say anything, only stared. Okay, so trying to ease into the conversation wasn’t going to work. She might as well cut to the chase.

“Um… I was wondering if you wanted to come work out with me.”

Celeste menacingly narrowed the one eye Kaede could see. This was getting awkward. She just had to remember Celeste was just a lonely girl with no friends, otherwise Kaede might’ve been scared off by Celeste’s intimidating aura.

Kaede continued, “It’s okay to feel lonely sometimes but taking your anger out on other people isn’t nice.”

“...What are you talking about?” Celeste blankly stated. Her voice was quiet, annoyed, tired. What Kaede said _did_ seem like quite a jump.

“I’m willing to throw this morning behind me if you come exercise with me! We got off on the wrong foot, so I think we should try again.” Kaede gave her a big grin, confident that what she said would work.

Celeste blinked. “You came to my room. At ten at night. To ask me to work out with you?”

“I know it’s late but it’s really not that bad and—”

“I would rather atrophy.” Celeste immediately shut the door.

Shoot. Why didn’t that work? Kaede thought for a moment; there had to be some way to convince Celeste to join her. Was it the timing? She knocked on the door again.

This time, Celeste pulled the door open a little more than before and Kaede was able to see half of her body, enough to see Celeste’s black nightgown and an eye mask on her forehead. The lashes on her half-lidded eyes weren’t as long as Kaede remembered them to be and her skin wasn’t as pale. Her hair was also much shorter; Kaede couldn’t see the two large curls of hair Celeste had that morning.

“It is _late_ , Kaede.” Celeste was distinctly stern, a huge contrast to her ‘polite’ attitude hours earlier. “Believe it or not, it takes beauty sleep to look as good as I do every day, something you should probably get more of. Go to bed. Do not bother me.”

Kaede grumbled, deciding to bite her tongue to the insult. “I know it’s short notice, so how about tomorrow?”

“How about never?” She widened her eyes and gave a disturbingly fake smile. “Great! I am happy we came to an agreement.”

Kaede was getting frustrated that nothing was working. She wasn’t going to give up, so when Celeste started to push the door closed again, she thought of Chopin’s Polonaise Op. 44 and stuck her foot in the frame, keeping Celeste from closing the door fully.

“ _Excuse_ me?!” Celeste exclaimed. “What an incredibly rude thing to do!”

Kaede pointed her finger at her. “You don’t have any friends, do you?”

Celeste furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “What the hell?! You came to my room at ten at night to tell me I do not have friends?” She blinked rapidly, still in shock by Kaede’s forwardness. “Congratulations, you have the observation skills of a ten-year-old. Who cares? Leave.”

“Don’t you want friends?”

“I have servants. Move your foot.”

Kaede crossed her arms. “That’s not healthy. I’m offering to help you out and be your friend.”

“Are you not aware of your actions? You come to my room late at night to throw your morals at me and rudely block my personal space. Has no one taught you manners? I do not know who you think you are, but you need to get off your high horse because you yourself are not being particularly friendly. This is the second time today I was minding my business and you came out of nowhere and intruded as if you have some righteous, absolute power.”

Kaede hesitated, Celeste’s words hitting her directly in her heart. “I…” Celeste was a gambler, a professional liar and a bully. She had to be lying just to get Kaede to feel bad. “That’s not true! I _am_ being friendly! I’m trying to help you because no one else will! You’re probably not that bad on the inside, right? No one is as mean as you are for no reason.”

Celeste’s face dropped. “I am exactly the same outside and in. _Goodbye._ ” She pushed the door into Kaede’s foot.

“I don’t wanna believe that,” Kaede said, placing her hands on the door. She was hurting, but she kept holding her ground. “C’mon, it’ll be fun after a while!”

“Can you not see you are being invasive?” Celeste growled through gritted teeth. “This is _my_ room, go away!”

Kaede pushed harder. “I’m gonna stay here until you agree! Can’t _you_ see I’m trying to be nice and help you?”

Celeste stopped pushing, realizing that Kaede was stronger than her. “Are you dense?!” She shouted, widening her eyes. “What the hell kind of logic— Repeating the same thing over and over again does not make it true! It is nighttime! Get out of my room or else I will scalp you and drape your remains around me like a fur coat!”

If Kaede could get past the threats, eventually she could wear down Celeste to be her true, vulnerable self. “You don’t scare me.”

“You— You’re so— Ugh!” Celeste stuttered. “Fine. Fine! Since you are apparently immune to my yelling, I will humor you for a moment. Listen closely and allow me to attempt to make myself clearer than I have already been.” She sighed, relaxing herself. “Even if for some reason you were able to crawl your way out of your now demoted E-rank, and we were quote-unquote ‘friends,’ I would never exercise with you. I do not work out, I do not _sweat_ , I do not move. Do you see this?” Slowly, she lifted her wrist. “This action is taking days off of my life. I have more important things to spend my energy on, energy that I do not have right now.”

Kaede shook her head. “Exercise is good for you. I think it’ll help you get your anger out.”

“You are the one that is _causing—_ ” Celeste took a deep breath and frowned, putting a hand on her forehead. “I am tired, Kaede. I do not feel like fighting you. Your persistence is exhausting.”

“I don’t wanna fight with you either.” Kaede matched Celeste’s tone of voice. “I wanna help you and I think if you had some friends that weren’t slaves, your life would be better. And everyone else’s too.”

Celeste stood there for a moment, calming herself with her breath until she eventually dropped her hand. She looked up at Kaede with a defeated look in her eyes. “I suppose you are right. My life has been… quite upsetting, to say the least.” Kaede instantly felt sympathy for her.

“Aw, I’m sorry,” Kaede pouted. “My mom once told me people look for ways to control their lives when it feels uncontrollable. It doesn’t mean you can take it out on others, though.”

Celeste slowly nodded. “Yes… of course. How could I not have realized that my own pain was hurting others…?” Her voice trailed off, gentle and soft like Erik Satie’s _Gymnopédie No.1_. She clutched the end of the door and stared down, her eyes glossy as tears began to form.

Kaede put her hands up in front of her. “D-Don’t be upset! I mean— it’s a hard thing to realize.” Celeste let out soft sobs as she wiped away a tear. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, I’m sorry! I just think, you know, if you had a good support system, you’d feel better. And I can play the piano for you anytime! Piano always makes me feel better. Please, please, please don’t cry.”

“...You are so sweet,” Celeste sniffled with a slight smile. Her voice was so quiet, Kaede could barely hear her. “No one has ever… been so kind to me, so caring…”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“...Alright, Kaede. I will join you.”

“Really?” Kaede gasped. “Yay!”

“Allow me to get changed first. I cannot exercise in my sleepwear, of course. It will only take two minutes.”

“Yeah, yeah, gotcha.” They stared at each other for a moment.

Celeste raised an eyebrow. “Do you expect me to change with the door open? Please remove your foot.”

“Oh, oh, right.” Kaede moved her foot from the door frame.

Celeste gave her a bright, warm smile. “Hmhm.” After she calmly shut the door, Kaede pumped her fist in the air.

“Yes!” She knew she was right, some people just needed a little compassion and a lot of persistence and they wouldn’t be so bad. She swung her arms back and forth, waiting.

After two minutes, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Please hurry. This is so awkward and Kaito isn’t back yet.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** We’ll be out soon, shes changing now

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Who did you ask?

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Celeste

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Why her???

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Cus she needs friends duuuuuh

 **Shuichi Saihara:** I dont know Kaede. Shes kind of intimidating.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** No shes not shes just weird and mean

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Yeah. Intimidating.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Lol no but seriously shes not that bad

 **Shuichi Saihara:** She really agreed? She doesnt seem like someone who would want to work out.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Yeah man i just turned on the charm lmao

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Haha okay.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Except i made her cry by accident :(

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Celeste? Crying??

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Ikr

Kaede waited another two minutes. Celeste sure was taking a long time. Kaede made sense of it by believing that Celeste took a lot of care in her appearance. Maybe she had to dig through her clothes to find something normal to wear. Then again, she _did_ say it would only be two minutes.

Another three minutes passed. She texted Shuichi.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Omg shes taking foreveeeeeer

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Are you sure you asked her?

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Of course im sure! She said shed be out in two minutes and its been like ten

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Shes not dead is she?

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Why would she be dead! relax boy!!! maybe she forgot

She knocked on Celeste’s door again but got no response.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** I just knocked on her door but she didnt answer

 **Shuichi Saihara:** I dont think shes coming…

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Yes she is she said she would

 **Shuichi Saihara:** I think she lied to you.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** She literally cried

 **Shuichi Saihara:** People can fake cry.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** But it seemed real??

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Isnt she the queen of liars or something?

Realization suddenly hit Kaede.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Is she???

 **Shuichi Saihara:** I think you got tricked.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Are you kidding me!!!

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Dang… 

She slammed her fist against the door again. Kaede waited but ultimately knew Shuichi was right. She clenched her fists in frustration. “Oooo!” she grumbled, furious that she had been played. Kaede slapped her hands against the door. That liar, that jerk, that—

“Asshole!” she yelled, despite all the dorms being soundproof. She angrily stomped out of the building, knowing far too much time had passed to find someone else.

She felt slightly comforted by the fact that if she wasn’t able to convince someone, there was no way Shuichi managed to sweet talk someone. Shuichi was her friend and all, but in Kaede’s mind, he just didn’t have the charisma and leadership skills she had.

Did she even have leadership skills? She didn’t like the thought of bragging, even in her own mind, but she was confident, empathetic, honest; she had the qualities of a leader! Yet, she wasn’t able to guide Celeste in the right direction. Kaede couldn’t get the others in the dining hall to rally together and stop Celeste. Kaede thought of a few weeks ago when she tried to get elected as the class representative, but a majority vote picked Kirumi instead. What did Kirumi have that Kaede didn’t? Did Kaede just not say the right things? That had to have been it. Kaede often made the wrong word choices. If she had chosen her words correctly, maybe she could’ve convinced Celeste to join training.

Could’ve. No. She was _going_ to. The battle was lost, but not the war.

And why the hell was Tchaikovsky’s _Swan Theme_ stuck in her head?

When she returned to the courtyard, there were two people sitting across from one another at the table. One of them, Shuichi, sat stiff as a board, nervously tapping his fingers on the table. His head looked around the environment, uncomfortably trying to do something other than look at the person in front of him. Surprisingly, Shuichi was able to recruit someone. “Are you kidding me?” she whispered to herself, crossing her arms. The other person, who’s back was towards Kaede, had long, black hair and was looking down at their lap. It was an awkward scene seeing the two of them not say anything to each other. When Shuichi saw Kaede, he sprung up.

“Kaede, thank god!” he blurted out, clearly having been holding his breath. The person turned around and Kaede watched the girl’s nervous expression shift into shock.

“K-Kae— Aaah!” The girl with unevenly cut hair moved so fast that she fell backward with her back hitting the ground and her legs dangling over her head. Luckily, she was in pajama shorts. “Oh no… this is so embarrassing…!”

Immediately, Shuichi went around the table and helped Mikan to her feet. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m alright.” Mikan looked up at Kaede with sad eyes. “Um… uuuuh… H… Hello, Kaede.”

Kaede realized she hadn’t been doing anything but standing and staring angrily at Mikan, so she put on a smile. “Hiya! It’s nice to see you.” While Kaede had seen Mikan around the halls and in the dining hall a lot, she had never really had a conversation with her. The only thing Kaede knew about her was that she was an Ultimate Nurse, was extremely clumsy, and got stepped on a lot by some of the more aggressive students.

“It’s… nice to—” Mikan suddenly gasped and stepped back. “I’m sorry! I’ll leave if that’s what you want.”

“Huh? Why would you think I want you to leave?”

Mikan held her arms close to herself. “You were making a face like, ‘I’m mad that she’s here.’”

“Nonono, that’s not—” Kaede hesitated. She wasn’t entirely wrong. Kaede wasn’t mad that _Mikan_ was there, more that _someone_ was there when she didn’t bring anyone. “It’s, uh, not about you, I swear! How can you even know what I’m feeling?”

“I’m just skilled at reading people’s faces,” Mikan quavered, tapping her fingers together.

“Well, I mean it genuinely when I say I’m glad you’re joining us. Right, Shuichi?” Kaede slapped the back of her hand on Shuichi’s chest.

“Right, of course,” he said, rubbing his chest. “I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t want you to be here.”

“How did you convince her? It’s pretty late after all,” Kaede asked, the question biting at her.

Shuichi shrugged. “I just asked.”

“Really?” Kaede turned to Mikan. “That’s it?”

Tears poured into Mikan’s eyes. “I’ll do anything you want, just… please don’t hate me!” So, it wasn’t that Shuichi had said the right things, he only asked the right person. Mikan was the kind of person who would do anything you asked her to— or told her to do— even if she didn’t want to. Realizing this made Kaede feel a little better about her inability to recruit Celeste. Celeste’s crocodile tears were incredibly similar to Mikan’s real ones, so to correct the mistake within herself that she couldn’t recognize the difference, Kaede ran up to Mikan and hugged her tightly.

“I could never hate you, Mikan,” she assured. “You’re _actually_ a good person.”

“H-Huh?” Mikan grasped Kaede, swinging her arms so quickly that her hands slapped Kaede’s back. “Thank you!” When Kaede let go, Mikan continued holding on for dear life.

“...Uh, Mikan?”

Mikan squeezed tighter. Kaede could feel Mikan’s warm, heavy breathing directly into her ear, sending a chill down her spine. She looked at Shuichi for help. “Great choice, Shuichi,” Kaede said both genuinely and sarcastically.

The three of them heard the class C dormitory doors close and saw two figures speedwalking towards them, making Mikan let go of her death grip. Once they got closer, they realized it was Kaito who was walking fast. Maki, in her pajamas and whose arm Kaito was clutching, was right behind him trying to keep up the pace.

“Sorry I was late,” Kaito said. “I had trouble bringing her.” He looked at Mikan and gave a thumbs up. “Nice job bringing Mikan, Kaede!” He put the hand that wasn’t holding onto Maki on his hip. “Shuichi! Step your game up, bro!”

“Uh, actually…” Kaede said. “Shuichi brought Mikan, not me.” Now, she was feeling worse again.

“Huh? C’mon, Kaede, what happened?”

“I’m trying my best!” Kaede clenched her fists. “How did you get Maki to agree?” Of all the students at Hope’s Peak, Maki was one of the least social and actively avoided interacting with other people. If she and Maki didn’t share classes, Kaede was sure she’d never see her, just like how she never saw Celeste.

Maki said, “I didn’t agree to anything. _Someone_ kept buzzing my intercom and I got so fed up that I finally opened the door. Then this guy grabbed my arm and dragged me all the way here.” She snatched her arm away, rubbing her wrist. “What do you want?”

Shuichi asked, “He didn’t tell you we’re working out?”

Maki’s face didn’t change, but Kaede could hear the disbelief in her voice. “Working out? The five of us?” She took a quick glance at everyone and turned her back. “This is stupid. I’m going back.”

Kaito barked, “Hey, wait a second!” Maki stopped to look at Kaito. “When a hero has to fight with a big enemy, they train until they become strong enough to beat it! And every hero needs a sidekick— or four. So, you can be one of my four sidekicks to help me become a hero! But you can’t do that if you don’t train.” Kaede had no idea what Kaito was talking about, but she wasn’t supposed to be a sidekick, she was supposed to be the leader.

Maki rolled her eyes and continued walking. This was Kaede’s chance to do something and prove herself, though she had to come up with something inspiring. She ran up to Maki and walked alongside her.

“Hey, Maki, so we never see each other— I mean, I see you in class all the time, but you never talk. This could be a good time for us to be friends and maybe I can play Debussy’s _Claire De Lune_ some time for you? It’s my favorite song because it—”

“Shut up,” Maki commanded, forcing Kaede to stop in her tracks. “It’s better if you stay away from me.”

Kaito growled, “C’mon, Maki! Quit being such a goddamn coward!” Whoa.

Maki stopped moving and turned around. “...Coward?”

“Sayin’ you want people to pretend you don’t go here, tryna push everyone away… that’s shit only a coward would do.” With the way Kaito was suddenly yelling at Maki, it reminded Kaede of how she tried to persuade Celeste, which didn’t work at all.

“Uh, I don’t think you’re a coward!” Kaede corrected, trying to mask Kaito’s words. “You’re just a little shy, right? That’s not bad, it’s kinda cute, really!” Unfortunately, Maki ignored Kaede and kept her narrowed eyes on Kaito.

“I don’t know what happened to you in the rec room today, but the Maki I saw was completely different than the one we normally see. You’re afraid of somethin’ and it’s pissin’ me off that someone as strong as you can’t face it. You think I’m gonna let some dumb weakness push you around?”

Maki didn’t say anything.

“Whatever it is you’re afraid of…” Kaito continued, “running away from it won’t get rid of it and if you can’t deal with it alone, you can train with us!” Dammit, Kaito was really good at this.

Maki looked at the four of them again, this time making eye contact with Mikan, who gave a gentle wave.

“Um… m-my name is Mikan Tsumiki,” Mikan softly said.

“I know who you are,” Maki stated.

Mikan immediately started crying. “I’m sorry! I just wanted us… to get along…” Shuichi awkwardly pat Mikan’s back.

“Shuichi,” Maki said, making him jump.

“Y-Yeah?”

“You talk to Kyoko right?”

“Sometimes, why?”

“Has she ever… said anything weird to you? Anything about the students here?”

Shuichi hesitated. “Um… I don’t know. Sometimes she tells me to stay away from some people but that’s it. She never tells me why.”

“Has she ever said anything about me?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

Maki tugged on one of her pigtails. She let out a huff of air as she bashfully looked down. “...Alright. I’ll stay.”

“You will?” Kaede repeated. What the heck just happened between Maki and Shuichi? Whatever it was, Shuichi didn’t seem aware of it. What did Kyoko have to do with Maki staying?

Oh well. At least she was here.

Maki put her hands in her pajama pockets, still not looking anyone in the eyes. “Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m only staying because Kaito’s probably going to bug me later and I don’t feel like dealing with Mikan crying about it.” With the way Maki was slouching, she looked so sad, depressed even. She looked like she needed a hug.

But when Kaede reached in, Maki pivoted and dodged her. Maki remained expressionless as she dryly said, “No.”

Kaito laughed, “C’mon, Maki, we’re a team now!” He extended his arms like a bear ready to attack. “Dogpile on Maki!”

Like a deer in headlights, Maki regained her composure and widened her stance, lifting two fists. “Do you wanna die?”

“Ggh!” Kaito froze in place. “Uh… right, we can’t dogpile Maki ‘cus… not all of us are here! Kaede’s still empty-handed.”

Kaede stood up straight. “I’m gonna find a way to get Celeste to join, I promise,” she declared.

Kaito, Mikan, and Maki all yelled, “Celeste?!” at the same time.

Shuichi beamed, “That’s what I said!”

Mikan doubted, “There’s gotta be someone else you’d want to work out with? Someone a little nicer, like Chihiro, maybe? Mahiru’s pretty nice too.”

Kaede shook her head. “Nope. Celeste’s the one. Jeez, you guys really hate her that much?”

Kaito tugged at his collar, sweat dripping down his pale face. “It’s not that I _hate_ her, she’s—”

“She’s a bully!” Mikan interrupted, her palms at her temples. “A sadist! A predator! A tyrant!” She looked out at the horizon, her gaze passing a thousand yards. “She’s—”

“She’s a spoiled bitch,” Maki remarked. “I’m not staying if she’s coming.”

“W-Wait! Don’t leave!” Kaede pleaded. “I mean… yeah, she’s all those things, but if she had some friends, _real_ friends, she wouldn’t be like that anymore.”

“And you know that,” Maki pondered, “how?”

“Because...” Kaede thought for a moment, trying to think of the right thing to say. “I don’t know, that’s my experience. Creating a bond with people wipes all the bad feelings away. With piano, I only bond with the audience for, like, two hours, but friends are forever!”

Maki crossed her arms. “...That’s stupid. Life’s not an anime; you can’t change people with the power of friendship.”

Kaito bunched his fists. “Well, whatever. I believe in Kaede and if Kaede believes in Celeste, then I’m gonna believe in Celeste too! There’s no way she can summon demons!”

Kaede raised an eyebrow. “...Did she tell you she could do that?”

“No!” Kaito shouted. “Well… yeah, but no. She was lying,” he said, comforting himself.

Shuichi but his finger on his chin. “That’s true, Kaede, she lies all the time. You need to stay alert. She’s one of the people Kyoko warned me about. From what I’ve seen, she might end up making you her servant.”

“Uuum, is Kyoko your mom?” Kaede sassed.

“What? No, I just think—”

“Then you don’t need to listen to her. I’m not becoming her _freaking_ slave.”

Mikan shivered, “B-Be careful. She hires assassins to kill the people she doesn’t like. One time, she threatened me with—”

“Can we start training already?” Maki butted in, running her fingers through her hair. “I’m not gonna stand around and talk about that brat all night. I wanna go back to my room.”

Kaito slammed his fists together. “Maki’s right. Let’s get moving! One hundred push-ups!”

Kaede’s jaw dropped. “A _hundred—_ Kaito, I’m still sore from doing fifty sit-ups!”

“Yeah, me too,” Shuichi confirmed.

Mikan quietly said, “I don’t think I can do one hundred push-ups.”

Kaito rolled his eyes. “Alright, fine! Fifty push-ups.”

Soon, they were all in the grass doing push-ups. Mikan’s arms shook as she tried her best to push her weight, while Maki next to her moved like it was nothing. Kaede put her knees down. “Whoa, Maki! How are you going so fast?!”

“...Forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty,” Maki counted, standing up and wiping her hands against her thighs. “Done. Now you can’t say I didn’t train with you.” She turned towards the dorms.

Kaito invited, “Why don’t you stay and wait for the rest of us?”

Mikan was moving the slowest out of all of them. “This is… so… hard…!” She gave in, her body splatting onto the grass. “I don’t think I can do more than twenty,” she panted.

Kaede felt nausea tighten her salivary glands at the bottoms of her cheeks and her balance wavering. “Yeah,” she grunted, falling to her side and rolling onto her back. “I’m starting to feel dizzy. I got halfway there, though! I’m just gonna lay here for a minute so I don’t, like, throw up.”

“Bye,” Maki asserted.

“Alright then, see you tomorrow. You better be here!” Kaito called out to her. Maki ignored him and kept walking until she finally went back into the dorms. “Man, she sure is difficult…” he said to himself before slapping Shuichi’s back. “Hey, man, you’re just gonna leave your sidekick behind?”

Shuichi continued doing push-ups, though he was clearly tired from the sweat that dripped from his face. “What… are you… talking about?”

“Mikan’s down, help her out! She can’t reach the goal on her own!”

Upon hearing her name, Mikan jolted up back into the planking position. “N-No, it’s okay. I can do it!” She did one push-up and immediately fell.

“How am _I_ supposed to help?” Shuichi asked.

“I’ll show you.” Kaito knelt down next to Kaede. “Kaede, get up! You still got twenty-five more to go.”

Kaede exhaled. “I might pass out if I keep going.”

“It can be really dangerous to push yourself too hard,” Mikan informed.

Kaito shook his head. “Not if I’m doing half the work!” He held out his arms. “Here, Kaede. Lay on my arms.” She shrugged and did what he asked, having him rest his hands on the top of her sternum and her stomach. “Now, get to pushin’!”

When Kaede bent down, she felt Kaito apply pressure to her body, removing most of her body weight that she had to push.

“See… Shuichi…?” he exerted. “A hero… never abandons… his sidekicks!”

Seething rage rushed through Kaede’s weak body. “I’m not a sidekick!” she asserted, moving a little faster.

“Of course! Everyone’s the hero of their own story.” Once Kaede finished the remaining twenty-five push-ups, Kaito slid his hands away from her before she fell into the grass. His pained arms dropped to his side. “Your turn, Shuichi.”

Shuichi put his hands up. “I’m not going to do that!”

“I will!” Kaede blurted out, determined to prove herself as a leader instead of a sidekick, but when she sat up, her head started to spin and she laid back down again. Working out while being anemic wasn’t as easy as she wanted it to be. “...Maybe not.”

Shuichi shook his head and turned to Mikan. “Are you okay with this?” he calmly asked. “I get it if you don’t want me to touch you. I barely know you.”

“...Huh?” Mikan’s eyes widened. “Y-You’re asking _me?_ ”

“Yeah…?” He lilted. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Sorry, I just— I didn’t expect you to. You can do anything you want to me.” Mikan nodded and got into position.

“Please don’t say that…” Shuichi copied Kaito’s movements and held her up while she forced her muscles to carry her remaining weight. Kaede could see the doubt in both Mikan and Shuichi’s strained faces, so she decided to be useful.

“Let’s go, Mikan!” Kaede cheered and clapped. “Wahoo!”

Kaito joined in. “Go, go, go! Only ten more!”

With Kaede and Kaito’s screams of encouragement, Mikan eventually made it to fifty push-ups. She collapsed onto the ground, panting, sweating, and crying.

“You did it!” Kaito acknowledged. “Great job, guys!”

Mikan cried harder. Jeez, Mikan sure was unstable. “Th-Thank you. For believing in me.”

“Don’t cry,” Kaede comforted. “We’re a team now, of course we’re gonna cheer you on.”

Kaito smiled. “Okay, Shuichi, you still gotta finish your push-ups.”

“You didn’t finish either!” Shuichi accused.

“I bench pressed Kaede! That’s like reverse push-ups.”

“So did I! More than you and Kaede did!”

“But I did five-hundred push-ups before we got here!”

Kaede had enough. “Guys, oh my god, why don’t you both do twenty more or something.”

Mikan backed her up. “Kaede and I can cheer you on! ...If you want that. I-I-I want to help the team!”

Shuichi groaned, “Alright, but if my arms slide off, it’s on you guys.” They all laughed together.

And thus, the training team was formed, with four of them holding each other up, one reluctant to stay, and another missing entirely. It would be fine; Kaede would find a way to fix that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TLDR: Celeste essentially says, “I am a dumb bitch with terrible taste. I will not change. I will not improve. That is a promise.”


	4. The Manipulation Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for bearing with my need of a break last week. Let's try to get back on track.

“Oh no! How could I have made such a daring mistake? To challenge someone with your record to a game of darts?” Celeste pleaded to no one. She stepped away from the empty rec room’s dartboard and held her hands to her chest. “With only three throws left, how could I possibly win? Fifty million dollars. Gone. I would have to be extremely lucky to make that shot, but that cannot possibly happen.” She quickly turned her heels to the invisible person. “Must I seriously become your housepet?” Layers of desperation were painted onto her face. “I know those are the rules of this academy if I go into debt, but is there truly no other way?”

She pretended to listen to the response. Soon, her eyes fell to her hands in horror.

“My,” she breathed, “fingernails? You want… my fingernails?” As dramatically as possible, she placed the back of her wrist onto her forehead. “Oh, woe is me! The physical pain surely will not compare to the emotional torment of losing a staple of my beauty! But, if I must… then I must.”

She threw two of the darts one at a time. Really, it didn’t matter where they landed.

The depressed look on her face flipped upside-down as her back straightened. “Oh, are you surprised? Did you think I did not notice the darts were weighted? You know I cannot stand a cheater. With one final throw of this dart, I will be—”

“Get ready to get your fuckin’ ass kicked, Kaeidiot!”

Celeste gasped at the voice behind the rec room door. As the door was kicked open, she immediately wiped ‘Itsuki Sumeragi’ off of the scoreboard, leaving ‘Celestia Ludenberg’ written where it was. She held the last dart in her hand and faced the board, wiping all emotion off her face and acted as if she wasn’t just roleplaying with herself. As Miu and Kaede entered the room with Miu holding a metallic cue stick, Celeste grumbled, irritated that this was the second time in two days people intruded on her personal business while she was in the rec room.

Miu was annoyingly hyper-sexual to the point of sexual harassment, much like Teruteru. Both of which are E-ranks, nearing F-rank. Miu’s inventions were rarely useful since the only things she seemed to care about making were machines to pester other students. Teruteru was only tolerable for his cooking and the hopes that one day Celeste would be able to understand what it was like to eat a home-cooked meal; Teruteru’s specialty that he prided himself in.

Kaede was a newly downgraded E-rank as well. Celeste had overheard positive stories about her and wondered if everyone in the school had been under mass hypnosis since Kaede was nowhere near as kind as their portrayals of her. From what she’d seen, Kaede was self-righteous, insensitive, and stubborn. Those damned preppy girls were always so well-liked by everyone because they were only sweet on the outside, hiding their superiority complexes. Celeste knew this well; she replicated this tactic— with creative liberties— to manipulate people into doing things for her.

Crossing her arms, Kaede exhaled. “I know you’re excited, but please calm down. And stop calling me ‘Kaeidiot!’”

“Aw,” Miu mocked. “did poor widdle Kaeidiot get her feelings hurt? That’s just bound to happen when you’re in the presence of the gorgeous, girl-genius: Miu Iruma!” Miu spun her pool stick around and accidentally had one end slam at the top of Kaede’s head.

“Ow! Miu!” Kaede whined, rubbing her scalp. 

“S-Sorry!”

Kaede let out a deep grunt in anger and looked up, finally noticing Celeste in the corner of the room. “Celeste?”

“Yes, it is I,” Celeste groaned, turning at her waist. “Is it really so surprising that I would be in here? Do you _once again_ have a problem with me minding my own business?”

“Um, uh, no, but…” With the way her eyes shifted and her lips thinning, Kaede clearly had something she wanted to say.

“Whatever is on your mind, I recommend keeping it to yourself.” Celeste placed the back of her hand on her chin. “Unless it is a formal apology, of course.”

Miu raised an eyebrow. “The hell’s Kaede gotta apologize for?” Celeste had already wasted enough words on Miu, so she decided to say nothing.

Kaede’s eyebrows furrowed, though Celeste wasn’t entirely sure what it meant. “Mmmm…” A small dimple formed as Kaede bit the inside of her cheek. Celeste would need more evidence to identify what exactly was behind such a clear tell, but Kaede wasn’t worth the effort either.

“Uh, hello-o?! Anyone gonna say anything?” Miu quavered. It appeared the silent treatment was getting an enjoyable response. “Don’t fuckin’ ignore me!” Miu tapped the end of her cue stick on Kaede’s shoulder. “C’mon, are we gonna test this sucker out, or what?”

“Hmm…” Kaede’s eyes went back and forth between Celeste, Miu, and the pool table. Suddenly, Kaede’s expression relaxed from its intense contraction to wide eyes, lifted eyebrows, and a finger pointing up. “Yeah! I’m sorry about last night. I know it was late and it was kinda rude to say you don’t have friends, but it’s okay.” Kaede put her hands behind her back and smiled. “Miu doesn’t have friends either.”

Miu shook. “S-So what if I don’t? I just don’t talk to people whose tits are so small, they still gotta wear training bras! Right, Ce _breast_ ia _Lewd_ enberg?” The lowest of insults. It wasn’t even creative.

Kaede put her hand up and side-eyed Miu, signaling for her to stop talking. “We’re not doing this again.” She then turned back to Celeste. “Celeste, I really am sorry. How about we put everything behind us with some _friendly_ competition? Miu and I were just about to play pool and test out her… uh…”

Miu brought attention to the stick she was holding. “My Wall-Beating-Automatic-Cue-Stick! This big guy can measure exactly which angles and how hard to hit the cue ball in any pool game.”

“Yeah. That.” Kaede extended her arms to the side, trying to make herself seem more inviting. “Wanna join?”

Celeste rolled her eyes. “To think that I would want to join the antics of a shepherd and her cattle.”

“Who you callin’ a cow,” Miu pointed a finger at her, “you rat-eyed zombie?!”

“I do not recall saying which of you is the cow. Funny how the subconscious works,” Celeste teased, fully facing them. Miu screeched. “And I am not a zombie,” Celeste continued. “I encapsulate the dark beauty of Victorian vampires.”

Kaede put her fists on her hips and smirked. “You’re really edgy, huh?”

“Edgy?” What a stupid insult that girls like her used all the time. Kaede was saying that Celeste acted the way she did because she was trying hard to be unique. Celeste wasn’t trying, she _was_ unique. Being goth was a non-threatening lifestyle, but it did come with its own frightening stereotypes. Half of the academy was already afraid of her just because of the way she dressed. She figured she might as well cave in to the stereotype and put it to good use since their reactions were hilarious. It was better to be feared than loved, after all.

“You do not believe that I could be a vampire?” Celeste challenged, resting an elbow on her wrist.

“Are you saying you _do_ believe that you are?” Kaede snickered and rolled her eyes. “Ooookay, Celeste.”

“Can you two keep a secret?”

While Kaede nodded, Miu adjusted the goggles on her head. “Depends on the secret. If you’re bouta tell us you’ve been fuckin’ a bunch of the guys here, I’m tellin’ everyone.”

Ignoring Miu, Celeste leaned forward and whispered, “I am not just the Ultimate Gambler, but also the Ultimate Vampire.”

“Tch,” Miu scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“There is an Ultimate Robot in your class, correct? Is it too far fetched for your minds to accept a vampire at this academy as well?”

“Prove it,” Kaede demanded.

Celeste held her fingers together and smiled. “Expose your neck and I will.” It was an impulsive lie, but it was highly unlikely for Kaede to agree. Hopefully. If she did, then Celeste would have to bite her neck. She didn’t know how she’d feel about that.

“What?! No!” Okay, good.

Celeste giggled, “How else would I prove who I am than to let your delicious blood trickle down my lips?”

Miu was shocked. “What the hell, you’d seriously do that?!” She looked at Kaede. “Do it, bitch, do it! I wanna see what happens.”

Kaede yelled, “No way!”

Miu started to sweat. “Then I’ll do it, f-for science!” There was a disturbing look on her face.

Celeste tilted her head and toyed with one of the longer hair strands on the side of her face. “Your soiled blood would make me sick.”

“Soiled…?!” Miu was enjoying their conversation much more than she was supposed to.

Kaede regained her composure. “I _meant_ show us your e-handbook.”

“I am afraid I cannot,” Celeste said, sitting down on the arm of one of the couches. Of course, she couldn’t show them. That handbook not only showed that her talent really was gambling, but also the name she was born with. “My e-handbook will only show that I am an Ultimate Gambler as it can only display one talent. It was not programmed for someone to have more than one ultimate talent.”

“Hm. Yeah. Alright.” Kaede shook her head. “Vampire or not, I think you should play pool with us.”

“You still wish to challenge an Ultimate Gambler?”

Celeste examined Kaede, giving her a quick once-over. How much money could she get from Kaede? Nothing on her person indicated wealth like jewelry or expensive clothing brands. In fact, the only remarkable thing she wore were the music note pins that kept the blonde hair out of her face, which signified more personality and interests rather than high status. Her clothes were clean and free of signs of extreme wear, so she had enough money to buy new clothes. Her fingernails were cut low but unpainted and unmanicured, most likely due to practicality with the piano rather than to keep up an expensive image. There didn’t appear to be any insecurity when she smiled with straight teeth, so either she was born with nice teeth or could afford the dentist.

How long had she played the piano? Was her ultimate talent a gift she was born with or a skill she acquired? If she had been playing her whole life, that would mean her family could pay for a piano along with lessons. Yet, she seemed to care a lot about the little people with little to no power with an extreme amount of empathy, indicating some sort of personal connection to them. So far, Kaede seemed distinctly average. Celeste could probably get a good amount from her, but not nearly enough for her dream.

Celeste asked, “What are you wagering?”

Miu pointed an angry finger at Celeste. “Like hell we’re betting anything with you.”

“Yeah, we’re just testing Miu’s new invention and having fun,” Kaede agreed.

“Do you wish to also test your luck?” Celeste had noticed that there was no Ultimate Lucky Student in their class. Perhaps there _was,_ but they were simply hiding it by lying about their true talent or they were someone, like Toko, who had more than one.

Kaede was confused. “No…? I said what I said.”

“Then I am not interested.”

“You’re really so wrapped up in yourself that you can’t even have fun with other people? Your shoulders must hurt carrying your own ego. C’mon, relax a little.”

“‘Wrapped up in myself?’” Celeste placed a gentle hand over her chest. “You are the one who is too self-centered to understand that we do not want the same things."

“ _I’m_ self-centered?! You’re the one that keeps slaves!”

“Servants! Not slaves; how many times do I have to tell you?”

“Hey!” Miu interrupted. “Maybe you virgins wanna test out the ‘wall-beating’ part of my latest invention!” Miu turned a small crank on the bottom of the cue stick, causing the tip of it to inflate, pulsate, and rapidly extend and contract.

Ugh. This was exactly why Miu was E-rank.

“Ew-wuh!” Kaede yelled with clenched fists and a red face. “Miu, that’s so gross! Turn it off!”

Miu recoiled and turned off the gadget. “I-I thought it would stop you two from fighting.” Her head tilted down. “If you queefs would just let out your sexual frustrations, then you wouldn’t be so clogged up and pissed at each other.”

Kaede sighed. “Miu’s right— uh, uh, about the fighting part. We shouldn’t be fighting.”

Celeste shrugged. “What you define as fighting, I see as a casual argument,” she lied. She was starting to get a little worked up and didn’t want to admit it.

“Yup. No more arguing.” There was a moment of silence before Kaede dropped to the ground, having her hands and knees firmly pressed onto the carpet. She opened her eyes wide and pouted, looking like a sad, kickable puppy.  
“Please, Celeste?” Kaede pouted.

Celeste gasped and put a hand over her mouth. “Oh my.”

Miu took a step back. “Kaede? Wh-What are you doing?”

Kaede continued gazing at Celeste. “I _really_ want you to play with us.”

“Begging on your hands and knees?” Celeste giggled. “How shameful. I must say your fixation with me is quite fascinating.”

“...I don’t have a fixation with you.”

“And yet, you are on the floor begging me to play a simple game of billiards with you.” Celeste twirled the dart between her fingers. “Unless you are trying to influence me with an ulterior motive…?”

Kaede’s pitiful face was smeared away with shock. What a pathetic liar. She didn’t even try to hide it.

Celeste tapped the tip of the dart to her chin. “Hee hee, I wonder what it is you think you can trick me into doing?”

Kaede hesitated. “I just wanna be friends.”

“Do you honestly think you can lie to a professional gambler? My life revolves around lies. Is it perhaps that silly little training group you asked me about last night?”

Kaede dug her nails into the carpet. “I won’t stop! I’m gonna stay like this until you say you’ll train with us, Celeste!”

It felt _so_ good to be right. “What makes you think I want you to stop? I quite enjoy these types of declarations.”

“It’ll get awkward after a while, then you’ll agree.”

“Will I now? Hmhm.”

“I’ll do it for however long it takes!”

“Bowing as a threat? Hmhm. Hmhmhm.”

Celeste could barely control her laughter. There wasn’t anything in Kaede’s body that hinted she would stop and nothing inclined Celeste to stop her either. They both could stay there forever, challenging each other. But, of course, precious moments like this couldn’t last forever, so Miu grabbed Kaede by her waist and yanked her up.

“Quit it, Kaede,” Miu yelled, “you fuckin’ weirdo!”

“Miu!” Kaede was obviously upset that she lost an unwinnable game.

“D-Don’t you see she’s got some freaky begging kink?”

Kaede pinched the bridge of her nose and scrunched her face at Miu. Her shoulders tightened and lifted as she took in a deep inhale. She had so much to say and was holding it all back; Celeste was ready for the hot ball of gas to explode into a supernova, though she wasn’t sure if it would actually happen. Time to experience the best part of winning: rubbing it in the loser’s face.

Celeste stood up and got close to Kaede. She pushed the sharp end of the dart into the shoulder of Kaede’s sweater vest, enough so that it punctured the fabric but not her skin. “Next time you beg for me, shed a couple of tears. I’d love to see you cry.” With a swift movement, Celeste ripped out the dart, creating a small tear.

Kaede immediately pushed her back, almost knocking Celeste off balance. “Hey! What’d you do that for?!”

Celeste grinned. “Something to remember this occasion by.” She covered her mouth and laughed.

“Whatever,” Kaede growled, poking the newly made hole with her finger. “I’ll get you to come with us someday.” It was a shame that Kaede decided to bite her tongue. A reaction would’ve been nice.

Kaede sure was enthralling, to say the least. Celeste had not expected her to try to manipulate an Ultimate Gambler without any leverage. Stupid. Brave, but stupid. Her dedication to her ambitious cause was… relatable.

Hm.

Kaede _was_ dedicated, wasn’t she? And over something so idiotic. Celeste wondered what it would look like for Kaede to be so fixated on something important.

Fixated on some _one_ important.

Someone like Celeste.

_Deep inside a ghastly black castle with cobwebs in unreachable corners, creaky, wooden stairs, and moths drawn to every light source, there is an oversized oil painting of a Celestia Ludenberg, the owner. The portrait is so detailed that her eyes seem to look beyond the painter, right through them and right through the viewer. Her smirk is closed, yet two, sharp incisors are visible. Is that blood dripping from her mouth? Was that there before?_

_A draft blows from nowhere as a clock from further within strikes midnight. There is something else; music. Not just any music, Bach’s_ Toccata and Fugue in D Minor _on the organ._

Why hadn’t she seen it before? Kaede was an Ultimate Pianist, a wonderful contender for one of the many musicians she would need for ambiance. Sayaka and Ibuki were useless; neither of them had any decent taste in music. But Kaede _must_ have knowledge of the classics and the only type of music Celeste cared for.

Kaede was already obsessed with her, whether she was fully aware of it or not. She was even willing to sacrifice her dignity by bowing to her like she had nothing to lose. Celeste didn’t even have to tell her to beg; Kaede did that all on her own! Gonta and Hifumi were too easy as both came to her, but Kaede had already started a manipulation game and Celeste was ready to play. It was her favorite kind of game, after all. All Celeste had to do was make a few adjustments to Kaede’s annoying personality and she would be hers. Find out what she likes, what makes her tick, clearly define her values and shatter them to pieces. And, for god’s sake, fix her fashion choices.

Oh, this could be fun. This could be _very_ fun.

“You know what, Kaede? Your theatrics have earned you a free game with me. However, do not expect anything more.” Celeste blindly threw the dart at the board as Kaede’s face lit up. “This is simply a reward for pleasing me.”

Miu scowled. “Hey, _I_ never said I wanted you—”

“Then my presence is a punishment for your vulgarity.”

“You think you can win against a literal genius? This baby can measure elastic collision, relative slipping, _and_ static friction all on its own.”

Celeste picked up a cue stick on the nearby rack. “Does it calculate luck?”

Kaede placed the balls into the triangle. “Why would it? The whole point of a machine is to take randomness out of an equation, right?”

Celeste grinned. “Luck is an incredibly powerful force, stronger than any science. Even in nature, a lucky mutation can change the course of a species. There is a reason as to why we have Ultimate Lucky Students. In fact…” She rubbed chalk onto the end of her stick, “is it not strange that your class is the only one without an Ultimate Lucky Student?”

Kaede and Miu looked at each other.

“Surely, you two are aware of this anomaly. Are you perhaps hiding this person? Or are either of _you_ the lucky student?” Celeste laughed. “That would certainly change the odds of our game, yes?”

Kaede picked up her own cue stick. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Miu put both of her hands on her hips, leaving her invention dangling between her body and her arm. “Yeah, my odds are one hundred percent in my favor since you gotta worry about your saggin’ tits hitting the table!”

Celeste took the opportunity to take a hold of Miu’s cue stick and quickly chalked the tip of it.

“H-Hey! That’s the sensor!” Miu quickly grabbed her machine and wiped the chalk off the end. “You tryna fuckin’ sabotage my invention?!”

Celeste covered her mouth. “Sabotage? Oh no, I was simply trying to help. The chalk assists with friction, you know.”

“You think I don’t know that?!” Miu shouted. “You just wanted to cheat!”

“Is it really cheating to make the game fair? Now the odds are a little more equal.” She bent over, ready to take the first shot. “I will go first.”

“Wh—” Kaede crumpled her brows. “Who said you could go first?”

“Me.” Celeste reeled back.

Kaede rolled her eyes, unintentionally noticing the dart in the dartboard. “Whoa, Celeste, did you hit the bullseye without even looking?”

Celeste peered at the dartboard as well. “Hmhm. How lucky of me.” She leered up at Kaede, grinned, and started the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I watched the first season of Kakegurui JUST so Celeste could reference it.


	5. Kaede and Goliath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I say that I'm very disappointed that every fanfic that has Mikan in it ignores a very important part of her character. Some of you guys didn't finish Mikan's free time events and it shows.
> 
> While this is a romantic comedy, I am primarily a horror writer. :)
> 
> Warning for mild blood.

“Uuuuuuuugh,” Kaede groaned.

A horrible gurgling noise called out from Kaede’s lower abdomen. She splayed herself out on her bed, hoping it would somehow distribute the bloating in her stomach. Slowly, Kaede lifted out of bed, careful not to worsen her aching back, and dragged herself to the bathroom. Once she got on the toilet, she looked down. Luckily, there was no blood in her underwear.

Yet. Her period could start at any moment.

After putting in a tampon and a pad for safety measures— her periods were immensely heavy and an extra pad was often needed— she washed her hands, staring at two new pimples on her chin in the mirror.

“ _ Uuuuuuuugh, _ ” she wailed.

The worst part hadn’t even come yet: the awful, extremely painful, debilitating cramps. Ever since her first period, Kaede would have to take two or three days off of school because the pain was so unbearable. More importantly, she would barely be able to play the piano.

There was a buzz outside the bathroom door, signaling that she needed to start getting ready for the day instead of sitting on the toilet forever. When she finished in the bathroom, she looked at her phone.

**Shuichi Saihara:** I’m about to head to the dining hall. Are you ready?

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Its so stupid that girls have to bleed every month like why do i have to be in pain for a whole week when guys can walk around and have NOTHING happen to them its so dumb like periods happen enough for it to be annoying but not enough for me to remember that it happens so EVERY stupid month i have to wake up DYING and im never ready for it and ITS NOT FAIR!!! rip this stupid thing out of me just rip it out i dont even care ill adopt i dont CARE ANYMORE!! I HATE HAVING A UTERUS SO MUCH I KNOW IM NOT PREGNANT!!!!

**Shuichi Saihara:** Oh...

**Shuichi Saihara:** I’m sorry. I heard girls like chocolate during that time of the month. Would that help?

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Thats nice but i dont think itll stop my insides from shedding

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Sorry for the tmi

**Shuichi Saihara:** It’s okay, you’re in pain. Do you want me to bring you food?

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Nooo you dont need to do that. im “fine” rn. i hope i make it to history before my body shuts down

**Shuichi Saihara:** I hope so too.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Give me an extra 5 or 10 minutes and ill be out

When she finished getting ready, she put on her backpack and met Shuichi near the entrance to the dining hall.

“You look, uh, you look great today.” Kaede could hear the restraint in his voice.

“You don’t need to lie,” she sighed, rolling her eyes.

He shifted his hat. “Sorry, I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, let’s just go.” She pushed open one of the doors to the dining hall, passing Byakuya as he left.

Compared to other schools, there weren’t that many people in the cafeteria, but with most of the students there, it had the same amount of chaotic energy as any cafeteria. Hope’s Peak Academy was if you took the craziest people from different schools and had them live together. Peko and Mukuro arm wrestling with each other, Nagito and Kokichi playing the knife game, Toko yelling at Sonia for wanting to kin Genocide Jack; a typical meal time.

A voice stuck out to the two of them. “Shuichi! Kaede!” Through the crowd, Mikan ran up to them, “Good morning!” Kaede and Shuichi greeted her back. “I found us an empty table i-if that’s okay.”

“Sure, I’d love to sit with you, Mikan,” Kaede expressed, “but you gotta sit with us at lunch and dinner too, okay?” Mikan furiously nodded in agreement before leading them to an empty table. Well, the chairs were empty, but there were four more trays of the same food on the table. All of the trays had scrambled eggs, an apple, and a glass of orange juice.

Mikan gestured toward the food. “I made plates for you guys.”

“Thanks,” Shuichi said, “but you didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to.”

The three of them sat down, with Kaede more specifically collapsed into her chair.

Mikan asked, “Where’s Kaito and Maki?”

“I don’t know about Maki,” Shuichi explained. “but Kaito always sleeps in. I don’t think he’s coming anytime soon.”

“Th-Then I’ll text Maki!” Mikan got out her phone in a panic.

“Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Shuichi warned.

The night before, the five of them decided to exchange phone numbers. However, Maki was displeased as she wasn’t used to owning a phone. She had a pager for her babysitting job, but at the start of the school year, Monokuma— an animatronic operated by Headmaster Kirigiri— handed out official Hope’s Peak Academy smartphones for those without one. She stated very clearly that if any of them called her, messaged her, or said too much in their newly formed group chat, then she would ignore it and turn her phone off. She would prefer it if they talked to her in person. But how could they talk to Maki if she was hiding all the time?

Not only that, but how was Kaede going to get Celeste to join them?

“I think it’s only going to be us three,” Shuichi confirmed.

“O-Oh… okay.” Mikan put her phone back in her pocket.

“If you planned on the five of us eating, why are there only four plates?”

“I already ate,” Mikan said sweetly. “You should eat too. While it’s a myth that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you still need to eat if you want energy for the day.”

When was the last time Kaede ate? She had completely forgotten to get dinner last night; the piano had distracted her. It wasn’t until Shuichi texted her asking if she was going to be at training that she was reminded that she hadn’t eaten. By then, it was already nighttime and the dining hall was closed. Now, she still wasn’t hungry. Her soon-to-begin menstrual cycle wiped away her appetite. She placed her chin on the table and stared at the scrambled eggs as her fatigued mind drifted.

Her focus changed to behind the food, where she saw two wide eyes staring back at her at the other end of the table. She jolted up, realizing that the dilated pupils belonged to Mikan, who mimicked Kaede’s position. How long had Mikan been staring at her with eyes so big, they seemed to bulge out of her head? Mikan’s eyebrows furrowed, though her eyes remained large and unblinking. A shiver ran through Kaede’s body as Mikan seemed to peer through her with a face of both shock and distrust.

“You’re pale,” Mikan asserted without a hint of emotion. It was unnerving; Mikan was extremely expressive, yet her face didn’t change from the same expression and there was a little more bass in her voice. “You’re breaking out, too.” Her gaze dropped down to Kaede’s food and back up at Kaede. “You aren’t hungry? You didn’t eat last night.”

Shuichi squinted at his food.

Kaede asked Mikan, “How do you know that?” Kaede had been in her lab, hyper-focusing on the piano. There had been times where she didn’t even notice when someone had entered the room, but dinner was a two-hour time frame, so the only way Mikan would’ve known that Kaede hadn’t eaten at all was if—

“Are you in pain?” Mikan deflected.

“I’m okay now,” Kaede shook, “but my period is gonna start soon. That’s all.”

In an instant, Mikan leaned over the table, making a loud  _ thunk _ as she kept her weight in her forearms. “With your anemia, they must be horrible! On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the worst pain in your life, how bad do they get?” There was a strange inflection in her voice like she was enjoying their conversation.

Shuichi compared his food to Kaede’s, Maki’s, and Kaito’s. They were all the same.

“Like a seven or eight,” Kaede responded.

“Uh, Mikan?” Shuichi spoke up. “Did you make our food?”

Mikan ripped her gaze off of Kaede and onto Shuichi. “...No. I only put the food on the plates.” 

“What are these blue flakes on the eggs?” He used his fork to lift some of the eggs, showing the bluish-green specks that were present on all of their eggs. “It’s not mold, is it?”

The ceiling creaked above them.

“I don’t think a bunch of mold would pass by Teruteru.” Kaede verified. “It’s probably seasoning or something.”

“ _ Blue _ seasoning?”

Mikan sternly said, “You need to eat, Shuichi.” She looked at Kaede with a smile. “You’d feel better if you ate.”

Shuichi sighed. “Alright.” He pulled his fork up to his lips.

Just then, the ceiling caved in and a large pile of metal and wood crashed onto their table, sending their food, including the fork in Shuichi’s hand, flying. Kaede and Mikan jumped back, falling out of their chairs. After a few seconds, they realized a vent had fallen in front of them, with one end still attached to the ceiling. Shuichi quickly stood up in shock.

“Whoa!” A muffled voice called from inside the vent. “Is everyone okay?!” Kazuichi poked his head out the end of the vent.

“What the hell happened?!” Kaede yelled. “Are  _ you _ okay?!” The entire room crowded around the broken vent. Some asked if anyone was injured, some assisted Mikan and Kaede, and some laughed.

**“** Kazuichi!” Kiyotaka boomed. “Property damage is not welcome in a school environment!” He swung his arm, ending with a firm pointed finger at Kazuichi. “DETENTION!”

“Wait, wait,” Kazuichi pleaded. “I was just trying to fix it, I’m sorry!”

Tenko pushed through the crowd. “No, you weren’t! You were trying to sneak around the vents so you could look down into girls’ shirts!”

“Huh?! No, I only pulled the wrong screw—”

“Typical degenerate male!” Tenko ran towards him, forcing Kazuichi to flee up the vent with Tenko close behind.

As some tried to figure out what to do, Kaede bent over and grasped her knees, feeling the arteries in her legs press against nerves. Dammit, this was happening soon.

She felt a tug on her arm. “Kaede, we should go to the nurse’s office,” Mikan whispered. “You don’t look good.”

“I’ll be fine,” Kaede consoled. “I should help everyone fix this and class starts pretty soon so—”

“Please… let me take care of you.” Mikan looked like an abandoned kitten in a gutter and, goddammit, Kaede loved cats.

Shuichi dusted off his shirt. “I’ll catch you up with History later. Go lay down.”

Kaede huffed. “Okay, okay, I’ll go—” Immediately, she was pulled into the hallway and was headed toward the nurse’s office.

“I’m sorry for your food,” Mikan pleaded, leading the way. “If I knew you were already sick, I wouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry— I’m sorry.”

“Huh? What did you do?”

“I, um, arranged it wrong.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Kaede said, believing her. “I don’t care. Plus, I’m not that hungry anyway.”

When they turned a corner, they nearly bumped into Hifumi, holding an envelope.

“Miss Akamatsu! Just the person I wanted to see. And good morning to you too, Miss Tsumiki.” He bowed, greeting them.

Mikan tried to slip past him. “Good morning, we’re kind of in a hurry, so if you would—”

“You were looking for me?” Kaede interrupted. She hardly talked with Hifumi, so it was weird for him to need her for something. Unless he was asking her to play the piano! “What’s up?”

“I need you to deliver a secret message to Gonta as soon as possible.” He adjusted his glasses, speaking like British nobility.

Aw. No piano. “Why can’t you do it yourself?”

He held himself. “Because Mistress is with him in his lab right now! I can’t talk to him when she’s going to be with him all day! She is so small, so fragile; she needs a knight to protect her! Gonta won’t be enough!” He shoved the envelope into her hands. “If something happens to my little, white rabbit, it’ll be your fault! It’s because of you that I’m not allowed to see her, so you owe me!” Celeste was in Gonta’s lab? This was a great opportunity to talk to her, though she wasn’t sure exactly what her plan would be. Asking didn’t work, begging didn’t work, so what would? She’d figure it out later.

Hifumi continued. “To be degraded because of your meddling… there was no greater humiliation. It’s your duty now to help me get my metaphorical armor back.” What the hell was wrong with this weirdo? Why would he still want to be Celeste’s slave? With his obsession with her, it was obvious how brainwashed he was. How do you break someone out of brainwashing? Probably by getting to the one doing the brainwashing.

“Okay, I’ll give Gonta the letter,” Kaede sighed, “but that’s all I’m doing.”

“Kaede!” Mikan cried. “We need to get you to the nurse’s office!”

“It’ll only be a few minutes.”

Hifumi bowed several times with his hands clasped together. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! The bad blood between us has been purified by our partnership! As long as Mistress remains in the dark about my secret plan with Gonta.” He completely ignored that Kaede said she wasn’t going to help him with anything else. With a turn of her heels, Kaede headed towards the Ultimate Entomologist’s lab, pulling along Mikan, who stammered, “I have a bad feeling about this…”

Upon entering Gonta’s lab, Kaede and Mikan were hit with a wave of humidity. The inside of the lab resembled a rainforest and the temperature kept up with the theme. Fear poured through Kaede’s veins as her eyes scrolled over the containers of bugs that lined the wall, right under the large letters that spelled out ‘ULTIMATE ENTOMOLOGIST.’ She spotted Gonta hunched over and holding out his hands to Celeste, who peeked at whatever he was holding. Both of them turned their heads when they heard the door open.

“It appears fate has brought us some unexpected visitors,” Celeste declared, her face relaxed as her eyes and grin fell directly onto Kaede. Gently, she pressed her hands together and repeatedly tapped her fingers. “Are you as pleasantly surprised as I am, Gonta?”

“Yes! Gonta happy to see Mikan and Kaede! Look what Gonta show Lady Celeste!” Before Kaede could respond, Gonta quickly ran up to the visitors, showcasing the brown leaf in his hand.

“That’s… nice,” Kaede acknowledged. “It’s a nice looking leaf.”

Gonta laughed. “Very funny that Kaede think this leaf.” He gently poked the plant and as soon as the tip of his finger touched it, wings sprouted for a split second before returning back to camouflage.

“Oh!” Kaede instinctually yelped as Mikan let in a deep gasp at the reveal.

Celeste rested her elbow on her wrist. “Why you thought an Ultimate Entomologist in the Ultimate Entomologist lab would show you a leaf is beyond me.”

“This rose tortrix,” Gonta continued. “It type of moth. Rose tortrix no supposed to be moth right now, it should be in pupation. Gonta no sure if it sick or mutation…” There was a sad look in his eyes, like a parent holding their crying child, unsure of what to do.

“What brings the two of you here?” Celeste asked. “I would not expect Kaede to be here. Mikan perhaps, but Kaede?”

“Wh-Why do you think I would be here?” Mikan wondered. She started wiping away tears with her thumbs. “You think I’m a bug, don’t you? A bug that deserves to be squished…”

“Mikan no bug!” Gonta interjected. “If Mikan bug, then Gonta no let bugs get squished!”

“Huh…? Th-Thank you…” She pushed out tiny laughs that sounded more like heavy, stunted breathing. “B-But my mind is drawing a blank from nervousness— I don’t remember why we’re here!”

“Hifumi has a message for Gonta. We came to deliver it,” Kaede reminded.

“Hifumi write Gonta message? That what gentlemen do! Gonta feel like real gentleman now.” After Gonta put the moth in its proper container, Kaede handed him the envelope. He opened it and read through it, his eyes slowly squinting as he read on. “Hifumi… use big words that Gonta no understand.”

Celeste stepped up. “Allow me to read it to you.” Kaede heard Mikan’s voice shake out noises before she realized Celeste wasn’t supposed to read the note. By the time Kaede opened her mouth, the paper was already in Celeste’s hands. Her eyes quickly glossed over it, reading the note to herself.

She smiled to herself and ripped it to shreds.

“How pathetic,” she said. “He truly thought he could execute such a ridiculous plan without me knowing.” After dropping the pieces onto the floor, she looked at Gonta. “Gonta, dear, let this be a lesson to you: No gentleman goes behind a lady’s back.”

“Got it!” Gonta smiled, “Gonta never stand behind lady!”

Celeste sighed.

Mikan jerked Kaede’s arm. “We really ought to get going…”

Gonta frowned. “You leave so soon? But Gonta wanna show other bugs like butterflies, beetles, worms, ants—”

“Worms?!” Mikan let go and scratched the backs of her hands in excitement. “I-I love worms!”

“Gonta love worms too!”

“Do you have any roundworms, tapeworms, or hookworms?”

Gonta’s face dropped. “No… Gonta no have  _ those _ types of worms. Only worms in research lab are earthworms and leeches.”

“Leeches too?!” Mikan took a step back. “I’ve always wanted to see a leech in real life…! B-But Kaede…” She looked back and forth between Kaede and Gonta, her whimpers and grumbles slowly getting louder.

Celeste spoke up, looking directly at Kaede. “Wherever it is you two need to go to, I am sure it can wait five minutes,” she smirked. She obviously wanted to talk to Kaede about something.

Mikan clenched her fists and suddenly shouted, “Show me the leeches!” And with that, Gonta led Mikan to a container that held leeches. For a moment, Kaede watched as Mikan looked at them in awe. She had never seen her so happy. What a weird thing to get excited about.

Kaede looked back to Celeste, who didn’t move. She only stood there, her feet together and her fingers entwined like a doll waiting for its owner to play with it. Red contacts stayed staring at Kaede with the wall of poisonous bugs behind her. Creepy, but she stepped closer anyway.

“Hey,” Kaede addressed.

“Hello,” Celeste responded firmly.

Neither of them spoke. Kaede expected Celeste to say  _ something _ since she used her body language to call her over, but Kaede ended up being the one to break the silence. “A vent fell in the dining hall a few minutes ago. It almost landed on me, but no one got hurt.”

“Unfortunate.”

“Unfortunate that the vent broke or that no one got hurt?”

Celeste chuckled in response. God, what an asshole. “You are lucky to have survived, however, you would have gotten a lot of money if you sued the academy. Actually, you could still say you were. Hope’s Peak is meant to protect us, but a near-death experience can cause emotional distress; the kind you can get paid for. Even if you are fine, you can lie and still claim it legally. I can teach you how if you wish.”

“That’s pretty messed up,” Kaede stated.

“To you, but money is money.” God, what an  _ asshole.  _ Celeste’s eyes slowly fell to the hole on Kaede’s shoulder. “You seem like you could use some. I see you are wearing the same sweater vest. Can you not afford a new one?”

Kaede didn’t want to make it clear how angry she was about Celeste messing with her favorite vest. “It's a small hole. Not a big deal.”

“If the hole were bigger, you would wear something else?”

“Why do you care?”

“Why do you not?”

Kaede cut to the chase. “What did you want to see me for?”

“What makes you think I wanted to see you?”

“I don't know, you…” She didn’t have an answer she could verbalize. “It was the way you looked at me.”

Celeste smiled. “Then it seems my vampiric hypnotism is working.” 

“You think you’ve hypnotized me? Hypnotism isn’t real.”

Celeste shook her head. “Not in a sense with dangling pocket watches and a wave of the hand. Hypnotism is more about suggestion rather than treachery. I sent a message through the inter-dimensional fields to say, ‘This is a great opportunity to speak with Celeste.’ You did not have to listen, but you did, and here you are.” Crap, she wasn’t wrong. “Being a vampire is fantastic, is it not?” Celeste laughed in a way that conveyed superiority. Kaede knew she was a liar, but the laugh seemed genuine. Did Celeste  _ really  _ hypnotize her? What a weird, mysterious girl.

Kaede crossed her arms. There must be some ulterior motive as to why Celeste hypnotized her.

No! She wasn’t being hypnotized!

“You’re targeting me? What are you trying to get me to do?”

“The real question is, ‘What do you have that I would want?’”

“The only thing I have to give you is a piece of my mind!” Heh. Good one. “Your morals are really messed up if all you care about is money. If you had people that really cared about you—” Celeste rolled her eyes. “—then you’d understand that life isn’t about material things, it’s about enjoying life alongside other people. It’s about taking a walk through a beautiful garden, helping each other work out, telling stories under a pillow fort—”

“It is your soul that I want.”

Kaede paused. “Right. A vampire that drinks blood and eats souls.”

Celeste tilted her head. “I never said I wanted to eat your soul. A soul is what makes a human. It is not just your  _ strict _ conscience, but the very essence of you, Kaede. You are empathic, sweet, and honest and, while I do not wish for those traits myself, your aura is rather pleasing to be around.”

Kaede was suddenly aware of how hot it was in Gonta’s lab. It had to have been eighty— ninety degrees? Maybe a hundred. Something about Celeste felt off, whether it was her gentle tone of voice or her surprisingly kind words, Kaede didn’t know. She tightened her crossed arms. “Yeah, I’m not falling for that.”

“You are intelligent as well.”

“You admit that I figured out you’re lying?” Based on the last time Celeste was surprisingly kind to her, Kaede assumed she was trying to trick her. About what? She didn’t know.

“Are the things I said about you not true?”

Kaede shrugged, wanting to remain humble.

Celeste tilted her head to the other side. “How can I be lying if what I stated was true?”

She couldn’t describe the conflicted feelings Celeste was giving her. Rage? Comfort? Distrust? “You’re weird, Celeste.” That was the only way she could express it. Dammit, she didn’t want Celeste to win the argument. Were they even arguing? Whatever they were doing, it felt like Kaede was losing. Maybe saying that was the only way to get the upper hand.

“Did you mean that as an insult?” Celeste smirked. “I take it as a compliment.”

Kaede grinned sweetly. “I was stating a fact. Take it how you want. Do you normally touch bugs this early in the morning? Like, no offense, but that’s pretty weird.”

Celeste held a hand over her mouth, pretending to be shocked. “You think a lady such as myself would touch these pests? I merely observe. I find the moths intriguing.”

“So, you wouldn’t stoop so low to touch a bug with your fancy fingers?” Maybe there  _ was _ some humanity in this annoying rich girl. If she could probe it out, she could use it to get Celeste to work out with her. “Are you afraid of bugs?”

“Need I remind you that I am a vampire?” Celeste twirled a piece of her hair. “We do not feel in the same way you do. Entomophobia— the fear of bugs— is a primal emotion embedded deeply into human nature for survival.” That sure was a lot of convincing for someone who claimed to not be afraid of them. A simple ‘no’ would’ve been fine. “As I am not human, I do not have—”

“Yeah, I bet you’re scared of bugs.”

“You  _ bet _ ?” Celeste beamed.

Was this a good idea? “Yeah.  _ Yeah _ , I bet. I bet I can hold a bug longer than you can,” Kaede bragged, putting her fists on her hips and puffing out her chest in early triumph.

Celeste raised her eyebrows and spoke loud and clear. “You are making a bet with me, the Ultimate Gambler?” Upon hearing this, Mikan and Gonta looked up.

“Kaede!” Mikan ran up to them, pulling a leech off of her arm. “What are you doing?!”

Kaede ignored her. “Yup.” She knew with enough courage, she could hold a bug. After the initial fear was gone, it would probably be easy.

“State the consequences,” Celeste said.

“If I win, you train with us tonight.”

“Your determination is as admirable as it is annoying. I accept. However, when  _ I  _ win…” Celeste chuckled, her smile growing wider. “You become my servant. Forever.”

“What?!” Maybe this was a bad idea.

Celeste laughed again. “Are you backing down? I assure you the only way you will convince me into training with you is to force me.”

“That’s not a fair trade,” Kaede growled. That was the absolute worst thing that could happen. Was this how she tricked Gonta and Hifumi?

Celeste’s face didn’t change. “Then how about for one day?”

Kaede exhaled. “That sounds a lot more reasonable. I can do that.” Celeste was crazy; there was no telling all the weird things she’d do to Kaede, but even she could handle one day.

Mikan held her hair. “Kaede, no! Starting with an outrageous claim and bringing it down to something fairer is manipulation one-oh-one!”

Kaede blinked. “Wha—”

Celeste put her hand up. “It is too late now. You already agreed.” She kept giggling. “I already have  _ so much _ planned for you tomorrow. I cannot wait.”

“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. I’m going to win.”

“Are you aware that I have never lost a bet? My luck always prevails.”

“Not this time.”

“Hmhm. Your ignorant confidence is entertaining.” Celeste gestured towards the bugs on the wall. “Pick our poison,” she sang.

Kaede narrowed her eyes. What was a bug that she could hold that Celeste couldn’t? “Gonta, what are the biggest bugs that you have two of? O-Ones that won’t kill us if we hold it.”

Gonta scratched his chin. “Hmm… Giant African millipede not dangerous. Sometimes it make juice when scared and if juice get in eyes or mouth, it dangerous. So Lady Celeste and Kaede must wash paws after touching!” He pulled out a container and held a long, black millipede that was roughly a foot long. As soon as he picked one up, it coiled in on itself. “Oh, it also curl up into ball. Gonta no mean to scare it…”

Looking at the millipede was gross but it seemed easy to hold, especially if it turned into a ball. The bet would go on forever. Kaede shook her head. “What else do you have?”

Gonta returned the millipede, went to a small sink, and washed his hands. “Um… There also Hercules moth! They same length as millipede and—”

“No moths,” Kaede asserted. Celeste gave a fake and dramatic frown.

“Then how about goliath beetle? Sometimes, people keep goliath beetles as pets! They no danger to humans,” Gonta assured. Kaede was skeptical as a pet bug most likely wasn’t threatening… until Gonta showed a large, black and white beetle the length and width of a human hand. Looking at the way its six spiny legs moved inflicted the kind of primal fear Celeste was talking about in Kaede.

A sudden hot flash hit Kaede like a sack of bricks. Her legs felt wobbly and she staggered to keep herself standing. “Yeah, that one,” she exhaled.

Showing no apparent signs of nervousness as Gonta brought out the second beetle, Celeste said, “My, my, what a fitting bug.” She looked at Kaede. “Are you familiar with the story of David and Goliath, Kaede?”

“No, I don’t think so.” She wiped the sweat off of her forehead.

“Essentially, it is the classic story of an underdog, David, that defeats a much stronger opponent, Goliath. With my luck, are you David in this situation? Or are  _ you _ the luckier one? Are you the hidden Ultimate Lucky Student? We shall see what fate has to say…”

With each step closer that Gonta walked, Kaede felt her blood pump. “Goliath beetle no hurt people. Worst, they give small pinch. No be afraid! Hold out your paws,” he said.

“Hands,” Celeste snapped, giving her hand without any hesitation. “They are called hands.” Was she really angry at Gonta or was she trying to hide her anxiety? Slowly, Kaede also held out her hand.

“Oh my god, oh my god, ooooh my god,” Kaede repeated as Gonta placed the bugs in each of their hands, with Celeste staring intensely at Kaede. As soon as she felt the tiniest stabs into her palm from its claws, a wave of nausea rushed through Kaede’s stomach. She wasn’t going to throw up, she couldn’t. There was nothing in her stomach anyway. Kaede wasn’t going to vomit, she had to hold it in.

After about ten seconds, Celeste still hadn’t reacted and her face remained blank. Was she really not scared? She hadn’t done anything other than stare. With Kaede looking back and forth between her and the beetle, she never saw if Celeste had blinked or not.

It wasn’t until the goliath beetle in Celeste’s hand started to slowly turn its body that Kaede heard a hitch in Celeste’s breath. She remained stiff, even as the bug moved, but Kaede’s tuned ears caught the slightest hint of fear in Celeste. Feeling it squirm made Kaede take in shallower breaths. In an instant, the nausea was gone and replaced with light-headedness.

“Kaede…” Mikan fretted. “Y-You’re paler than you were this morning. Maybe you should stop.”

At Mikan’s words, Celeste smirked. “You  _ do _ look sickly. Are you going to—” Celeste was cut off by the beetle in her hands appearing to open the back of its body, showing off a dark orange membrane, and close it again. She still kept her eyes on Kaede, not once looking down, but her poker face returned. “Gonta? What. Did it. Just do?”

“Oh, those it wings,” Gonta casually said.

“They can  _ fly _ ?” she remarked, her voice cracking.

“Yes, many beetles fly!”

Celeste laughed. “Of course they do.” She wasn’t only scared, she was terrified. Kaede couldn’t see it in her face, but she could hear it in her voice. Kaede, who now had to breathe through her mouth, only needed to wait it out. If the bug flew away, Kaede would win. She had to push through it.

Out of nowhere, it felt like Kaede’s ears were being filled with water. All sounds became muffled, so when Celeste suddenly flinched, Kaede couldn’t hear what she said. Mikan replied with something and Celeste shook her head, still staring deeply into Kaede’s eyes. Kaede looked down at Celeste’s bug and saw a red spot on her hand that was slowly getting bigger. It had bitten her or pinched her or something; all she knew was Celeste’s hand was bleeding and Celeste was still staring at her. Celeste was definitely going to break soon, so Kaede furrowed her brows and stared back.

Their surroundings faded away as Kaede kept her focus on her as if they were the only ones in the room. Neither of them moved; both of them were two apex predators daring the other to enter the other’s territory. Very subtly, Celeste was leaning forward with her eyes slowly widening. It was like she was trying to send Kaede a psychic message.

_ Fall. Before my beetle flies away. _

Her bug continued to turn and flare its exoskeleton. She wasn’t getting hypnotized. She wasn’t getting hypnotized. Hypnosis wasn’t real. This wasn’t about training anymore; this was keeping her mental barriers up. Celeste was only trying to intimidate her and it wasn’t going to work. Kaede wasn’t going to be her slave. She wouldn’t fall for her tricks.

How the hell did Celeste have the power to do this? She was as small as Hifumi described; her legs always pressed together and her elbows always at her sides, so she never took up a lot of space. Kaede could push her and she’d lose all of her power. Jostle her perfect hair and she’d lose her demeanor. Smear her detailed make-up and the undead facade would be gone.

Yet, Kaede knew Celeste’s power wasn’t physical, it was in her words. She knew the right things to say, unlike Kaede. She used her sweet voice that was as soft and high as a…

Ha ha. As the celeste instrument.

Kaede thought of Tchaikovsky’s  _ Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies _ , known for its celeste, only for her mind to quickly drift to his  _ Swan Theme _ . Why that song again? There was no instrument in that song that she knew how to play, and yet, when she looked at Celeste, that was the only thing she could think of.

The poise of the harp.

The power of the horns.

The mellowness of the oboe.

The intensity of the violin.

… 

_...Holy shit. _

The next thing Kaede saw was the ceiling and Mikan’s worried face.

“Kaede!” Mikan screamed. She could feel Mikan’s hands on her back.

“Huh?” Kaede looked down to see she wasn’t holding the beetle anymore. “What happened?”

“I thought you died!” Mikan sobbed. “This is my fault, I should’ve controlled myself from seeing the leeches!”

Gonta’s face suddenly took up most of Kaede’s view. “Kaede okay?!” Water from his hands splashed onto her face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kaede blinked. She must’ve blacked out and fainted.

She heard high heels click against the floor and Celeste’s nonchalant voice. “Now that you are reanimated, we have arrangements to discuss.”

“Did I win?” Kaede asked. When she sat up, she felt her gut contract. “Ow…!”

Oh. That’s what happened. That’s why she fainted. It was a good thing she put in a tampon that morning.

Oh god, ow, ow,  _ ow! _ Ah!  _ Goddammit! _

Kaede immediately curled into a ball on the floor, holding herself in pain and squeezing her eyes shut. Celeste’s high heels clicked faster and louder. “Oh no.” By where her voice was, Kaede could tell that Celeste was bent down next to her. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m okay— Grgh!” It felt like someone was scraping their fingernails inside her while pulling the pieces apart like taffy.

“We need to get her to the nurse’s office!” Mikan yelled, yanking her own hair.

“Gonta, carry her,” Celeste commanded.

Without preparation, Gonta lifted up Kaede bridal style. “Wh-Whoa!”

“Hold onto him tightly.” Kaede obeyed as Celeste walked to the door and opened it. “Take her to the nurse’s office. Mikan and I will follow closely behind.” Gonta nodded and dashed out the door with Kaede.

She felt the wind against her face as Gonta sped through the hallway until she was nearly thrown onto a hospital bed. He knelt down, clutched the bed, and looked at Kaede with teary, brown eyes. “Please no die, Kaede…”

“I’m not gonna die, Gonta, I’m having…” She didn’t know if Gonta even knew what a menstrual cycle was, but she didn’t feel like explaining. “...girl issues.” She took off her backpack and placed it on the floor.

As soon as the nurse’s office door flung open, Mikan skirted towards the pharmacy, her heels sliding on the floor when she turned corners like a NASCAR. “I’ll get you some painkillers! Are you allergic to anything? Argh! You haven’t eaten anything yet! I need to get you some food!” She was gone as fast as she came in, with Celeste inching out of the way.

“Gonta, give us some privacy,” she told him. Gonta nodded and followed after Mikan, desperate to help.

Kaede was the first to speak, recalling Celeste’s reaction to her pain. “Were you worried about me?” 

“Of course I was worried!” Celeste dramatically held her hands to her face like Edvard Munch’s  _ The Scream _ . “If you die, then I would have held that disgusting creature for nothing.” Shallow. Why didn’t Kaede expect her to be shallow at that moment?

“I’m not gonna die,” Kaede repeated. “It’s my period.”

“Oh. I see.” She seemed a little uncomfortable with how open Kaede was about the situation. “That makes more sense then. No matter. You are mine now.”

“Excuse me?”

Celeste sat on the bed, her back perpendicular to the mattress. “You fainted and dropped the bug right before mine flew away. According to our bet, you lost so you will be my servant for a day.”

“Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yes! It will be  _ fun _ ! Feel free to swoon over me again as long as it does not cause your heart to stop.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You swooned over me.”

“No, I didn’t. I fainted because it was super hot in there and I haven’t eaten in a day and I have really heavy periods and I’m anemic. It happens sometimes. A lot, actually.”

“Then how do you explain what you said before fainting? You said it very clearly, ‘You’re really pretty, Celeste.’ I even thanked you. You fainted immediately after. Is that not swooning?”

“I don’t remember saying that.” Celeste had to have been lying.

“Well, you did. Feel free to say it again to unclog your memory.” Celeste closed her eyes and held her chin up, waiting for Kaede to speak.

There was no way Kaede would say that to her, even if it was true.

Was it true? No, she didn’t like Celeste. She was a jerk. Jerks aren’t pretty.

Well, she kind of was. Maybe more than kind of.

No! Celeste was weird! Not pretty!

...Maybe. If she wasn’t such a garbage person, maybe.

Celeste opened her maybe pretty eyes with perfect eyeliner applied with a steady hand. “...Are you going to repeat it?”

“No.” Even if she  _ was _ kind of maybe sort of not really but actually kind of attractive, Kaede wouldn’t  _ admit _ it. She hated Celeste!

“Tch. Oh well.” She stood up from the bed. “You have plenty of time to say it tomorrow.”

Another wave of pain hit Kaede, causing her to coil again. “T-Tomorrow…?”

“Yes, we shall begin tomorrow.”

“Can it wait a couple of days? I won’t really be able to get out of bed for a while.”

Celeste hesitated. “Right. I suppose an immobile servant is useless. I apologize for my inconsideration.” Wait, so Celeste was actually able to feel empathy?

Celeste bent down and took out Kaede’s phone from her backpack and started tapping.

“Hey! Don’t touch my stuff!” Kaede scolded.

“You should put a lock on your phone,” Celeste encouraged. “I have given you my phone number as I do not believe you are worthy of carrier pigeon or a wax-sealed letter. You will inform me when you are better and by next Saturday, we will begin. Do not think you can escape me either. Am I clear?”

Kaede nodded.

“Good, I will see you then.” Just before Celeste left the nurse’s office, she paused at the door. “Kaede?”

“Yeah?”

Her voice was calm, genuine. She didn’t even turn around. “You stated that you had not eaten in a day. May I ask why?”

Why did she care? “I forgot.”

There was another pause. “Well, try not to forget.” Celeste looked over her shoulder. “Anemic blood does not taste good. Hmhm.” And with that, she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did extensive research into Danganronpa lore. Yes, I forgot that there would be other grades at Hope’s Peak. We exist.


	6. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo, boy, writing a decent chapter with a weeklong deadline is not as easy as you would think. Also, yes, they talk in terms of American dollars shhh.
> 
> Content warning: Past abuse and neglect

Oh, Kaede. Sweet, innocent Kaede. It was going to be so much fun breaking her, peeling back her layers until she reached her evil core. That was how humans were; selfish at their core with filters that allowed them to function in modern society. Starting next Saturday, Celeste would have to remove some of those moral filters from her. However, this was going to be quite a challenge.

The first obstacle was to get Kaede to like her. People don’t listen to others when they don’t like or respect them, even if they’re right, so Celeste wouldn’t be able to influence her if Kaede hated her. What did Kaede like? Piano was the only thing Celeste knew. Kaede interacted with the world primarily through her hands, so she wondered if physical touch would either pull her in or intimidate her. She’d have to keep it subtle.

Celeste took in the sweet, garden air, holding a black parasol over her to block out the greenhouse sun. The garden on the top floor of the academy was a great place to take a casual stroll and clear her thoughts. Kaede seemed like someone who liked flowers. Perhaps she could get Kaede to take a walk with her.

Wait, didn’t Kaede faint because of the heat in Gonta’s lab? The garden might be too much for her.

No, she said she fainted because she hadn’t eaten. How someone could forget to eat was beyond Celeste’s comprehension, but she’d have to make sure Kaede ate.

Celeste heard a mumbling, beyond the mumbling she was speaking herself, further into the garden. She followed the noise, spotting someone crouched down over a flower bed. As Celeste stepped closer, she could hear what the girl was saying to the plants.

“They’re okay but… I know once they find out, they’ll hate me.”

She must’ve heard Celeste’s heels click on the path because with one more step, she stood up and spun around in an instant.

Ugh. This bitch again.

Maki held a small pair of shears in one hand, ready to attack if Celeste stepped closer.

“Talking to yourself? How pathetic,” Celeste sneered, knowing she was berating Maki for doing the same thing she was.

Maki didn’t move or speak, holding her ground as if Celeste was about to jump her.

“A beautiful place like this should not be ruined by such an eyesore,” Celeste teased.

“Then leave,” Maki asserted. “I’m not stopping you.”

Celeste scoffed. “Am I not allowed to go on a leisurely stroll?” She placed her hands over her heart. “‘This is a space for everyone. You cannot be exclusive.’ I recall you saying that about the rec room, yes? It sounds like you wish to claim a community space. Hmhm. Oh, how the tables have turned.”

“I don’t care where you go. Leave me alone.”

“Okay, then. I will continue my walk.”

Neither of them moved. Celeste looked at the flowers behind Maki.

Maki furrowed her eyebrows. “Are you gonna go or not?”

“What do you mean?” Celeste tilted her head. “I am admiring the flowers.”

“Go do that somewhere else.”

“I cannot look at those flowers? What is wrong with them? Are they _yours_?” Celeste took another step, causing Maki to tighten her grip on her sheers.

She didn’t say anything.

“I only wish to look at them. I am a nature aficionado, if you did not know.”

After a long pause, Maki relaxed and took a step to the side, but kept a strong glare on her. Celeste bent down to view the yellow flowers. “Ah, chrysanthemums. Are you aware of the usage of chrysanthemums during the Victorian era to send messages of friendship?”

“I don’t care.”

“However,” Celeste continued, “they can mean a number of different things depending on the culture. The language of flowers is rather complex. Even paired with other flowers can change the meaning. Personally, I would prefer to not think about it and enjoy the beauty of the natural world.”

“You talk too much.”

“Hmph.” Celeste got up and looked Maki in the eyes. “They are quite lovely. I can tell you care about them a lot.”

Maki seemed confused by the compliment, pouting her lips. “...Thanks.” It was hard to tell if she got any joy out of Celeste’s words. Her eyes looked so empty, so soulless like there was no one there. She didn’t know why, but seeing this filled Celeste with a deep, chilling rage.

With a smile, Celeste slammed her foot into the chrysanthemums, being sure to turn her heels to get at the roots.

“ _Hey!_ ” Maki screamed.

Celeste laughed and bolted out of the garden with Maki choosing not to chase after her and instead care for her ruined flowers.

It was so freeing being evil.

As much as she wanted to continue taunting that bitch, Celeste had to get back on track. She needed to gather as many details on Kaede as she could. Kaede appeared to be on a friendly basis with most of the students, but Kyoko was one of the most attentive people at the academy, so it was likely she could provide the most information on Kaede. And visiting Kyoko was hardly ever a bad idea.

"Good afternoon!" Celeste announced as she swung open the door to the Ultimate Detective lab. Inside, Shuichi leaned over a microscope on a desk and jumped back, startled by her sudden entrance. He waved and uttered a timid, "Hey." Meanwhile, Kyoko didn't acknowledge Celeste and instead stared intensely at pictures on a corkboard on the wall. The pictures were of three people, a man, a woman, and a young girl. Next to each person were their respective dead bodies that Celeste tried not to look at. Kyoko was unfazed and had a knuckle to her chin, deep in thought. This was one of the only tells Celeste could figure out.

She thought about how she knew very few of Kaede’s tells. The day before, Kaede had made it very clear that she crossed her arms when angered. The problem was that Celeste had only seen Kaede when she was angry. She’d need more information; she’d need to see Kaede in different states.

“Working on a new nail-biting case, I see,” Celeste said, walking towards Kyoko.

“Shuichi,” Kyoko ignored, “bring me a list of every unsolved homicide in Japan in the past sixteen years. No, actually, every homicide.” Shuichi looked at Celeste for a moment before realizing that she was meant to be ignored and went through the catalog of encyclopedias on the wall.

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me anything about the case?” Shuichi asked. “I want to help you catch the person that did it.”

“I already know the culprit.”

Shuichi’s eyes widened. “Really?! Then who is it?”

“I don’t think it’s best for me to tell you right now. This may be a good chance for you to test your own detective skills. You’re smart, you can figure it out.” Once Shuichi pulled one of the encyclopedias out and placed it on a table, Kyoko walked over to him. “However, I will say that they’re an assassin. The key to this case is to find out who is hiring them and in order to do that, we need to find any connections with the victims.” They completely disregarded Celeste. It pained her to be ignored, so she had to do something to bring the attention back.

“You want information on these people? You should have said so sooner. I am familiar with one of the victims,” Celeste lied.

Immediately, Kyoko’s gaze shot towards her. “Who?” Yes, finally! Some interest!

Celeste giggled. “You wish for me to snitch? For _free_? Your words are near blasphemy.”

“How much do you want?” Kyoko asked, matter-of-fact.

“Hm. What I want cannot be paid for in your filthy, pig money.” She coyly looked away.

“Is it immunity you want?”

“You fool. As a student at Hope’s Peak Academy, I am already granted immunity while I am here.”

“Then I’ll give you a year after you graduate.” Did Kyoko plan to arrest Celeste immediately after school was over? Ha! She could try.

Celeste played with a piece of her hair, a fake tell she created to trick people into thinking she was bored or uninterested. “Now, where is the fun in that, Kyoko?”

“What do you want then?”

“Nothing too drastic.” Celeste clapped her hands together. “I wish for you to tell me everything you know about our favorite Ultimate Pianist.”

Shuichi turned to Celeste, surprised. “What do you want with Kaede?” His voice was panicked, knowing that Celeste’s intentions must be malicious. She had to say something to convince him to back off. Luckily, this was her specialty.

“I wish to buy her a gift, something unique. As a pianist, I would imagine most people would gift her something related to music, however, I wish to give her something memorable.” And now, to sneak in her agenda. “Are you familiar with anything she enjoys outside of piano?” Celeste knew a decent amount about classical music, but very little about pianos specifically. If Kaede showed interest in anything Celeste liked, it would be easier for her to bond. “Or perhaps can you tell me the things she dislikes? It would be rather unfortunate if I handed her something that would upset her.”

Kyoko’s distrusting eyes scanned Celeste, searching for a lie to latch onto. “...Shuichi would know more than I do. They’re best friends.”

Celeste raised an eyebrow at Shuichi. “Oh? Are you now?” It would be a lot easier to get information out of Shuichi than Kyoko. He had far fewer barriers and frankly wasn’t as intelligent as she was. But talking with Kyoko was more entertaining.

“I gave you something,” Kyoko distracted, “now you give me something in return.”

“Hmhm. I suppose.” Now, a believable lie. She looked at the pictures again. “I recognize the man on the left. I sucked fifty thousand dollars from him a few days ago in a game of mahjong. I can recall the event easily.” She didn’t care if her words impeded on Kyoko’s investigation. A cheeky, false witness added some spice to the mix. Kyoko would ultimately enjoy it. “Now, I have plenty more questions—”

Kyoko put her hand up. “That’s all I need to know.”

“Are you sure? There were plenty of other things I remember about him.”

“I knew you were lying. You don’t know him.” Kyoko turned back to the board, no longer interested in what Celeste had to say.

“Why do you think I am lying? I know I am the Queen of Liars, but I do not lie all the time.”

“You’re the Queen of Liars,” Celeste could’ve sworn she saw the smallest hint of a smirk on her, “not the Queen of _Lying_. He died three weeks ago. You couldn’t have seen him a few days ago.”

Shit. Fuck. Son of a _bitch_. She needed to cover for herself. “Have you considered—”

“He also never had more than five thousand dollars in his bank account.” Kyoko was getting the higher ground.

“Cash is accepted at casinos, especially in the underground so we can protect our identities.”

“His criminal records are clean, unlike your two petty theft charges.”

Celeste clutched the unopened parasol in her hands. That was low. That was a low blow. How the fuck would she even know that?! Did she know exactly what it was she stole? She couldn’t know. She couldn’t. She wasn’t allowed to know. To look at her records, Kyoko would need to know her name.

No. No, no, no!

Of course, she would know, she was the headmaster’s daughter! While she didn’t have access to the rosters, she could probably figure out his password and get access to any information she wanted on any of the students.

She knew. She knew Celeste’s past. Not Kyoko. Anyone but her. The class representatives only knew her name, but if Kyoko looked her up, she’d know what she always took. It wouldn’t be hard to figure out why.

Shuichi whispered to himself, “...Petty theft?” Shit, now _he_ knew as well. He didn’t know exactly what she stole, only the relative price. She could use this to her advantage.

“Anything under a thousand dollars is not worth any money,” Celeste specified. “At that point, it should be up for grabs.”

“Sure,” Kyoko said coldly. “If that is what you want to believe. If all you wanted was to get information on Kaede, you’re not getting it. I’ll see you Tuesday for our next Othello game.” What the _hell_?! She was kicking her out?! She got that disinterested that quickly?! This had to be some sort of power move, a test, maybe?

“I only wanted to visit,” Celeste stressed. “There is no need to be so harsh.”

Kyoko didn’t say anything. She only put her finger over her chin and looked at the deceased. Once again, Celeste didn’t have anything about her that interested Kyoko. She knew her past. She hated Celeste.

“I know when I am unwelcome. Apologies for disturbing you.” She curtsied. “I will see you then,” Celeste said with a fake smile. She turned to leave as fast as she could.

“Wait, Celeste,” she heard Shuichi call out behind her. What the fuck did he want? Celeste looked back to him, with Kyoko looking at him as well, wondering what he could possibly say to her.

There was concern on the parts of his face that Celeste could see as he held his head low with his hat obscuring his eyes. He looked back and forth between her and Kyoko, Kyoko’s gaze clearly influencing his ability to speak. He probably wanted to ask what Celeste wanted to do with Kaede, his apparent best friend.

For a moment, he lifted his head to look Celeste in the eyes.

She didn’t want to talk, she wanted to run. She wanted to sit in a corner and cry her eyes out. She didn’t want Shuichi, or anyone else, to find out the truth about her.

He must’ve understood this. Quickly, he dropped his head again. “Um,” he muttered. “I’ll see you later…?”

“No, I do not think you will. I have no interest in the weaker Ultimate Detective,” Celeste insulted. She needed him to back off. Celeste was afraid; she couldn’t allow him to be intrigued by her and look her up as well. She opened the door and left the room.

Thoughts of all of her and Kyoko’s previous interactions flashed like a slideshow. It was so clear, how could Celeste have been so dumb? Kyoko knew. She knew the whole time. That was why she never cared. She knew Celeste wasn’t some evil mastermind worthy of being her rival, Celeste was just…

She didn’t want to wallow in despair. She needed comfort in the only thing that was guaranteed to make her happy. Celeste made her way to the school’s ranch that was about a ten-minute walk away, using her parasol to block out the afternoon sun. Once there, she spotted Gundham petting one of the cows.

When he saw her, Gundham crossed his arms into an X. “Halt! Why is the ebon witch out when the sun is still high in the sky?” Not even Gundham correctly understood her aesthetics. Vampire, not witch.

“Do not pretend you have no clue why I am here.” If Celeste didn’t care about her image as a high-class lady, she’d respond back in a similar way that Gundham spoke. It seemed fun. Dramatic. Theatrical.

“Yes, of course,” he said in a smug tone, stretching out his bandaged arms, “You wish to visit your hellspawn.” By the way he looked at his arms, Celeste could tell what he was thinking.

“Did he cause those?”

He held up two, powerful fists. “Ha ha! These battle scars are the sacrifices I must take to assure he retains his power.” Translation: He clawed at Gundham while he was trying to groom him.

Celeste laughed. “He is such a good boy. Take me to my son.”

Gundham led her inside the barn, however, her boy was nowhere to be seen. “Allow me to demonstrate how far along I’ve come to taming this beast by casting my summon spell! Stand back! I wouldn’t want any collateral damage.” He took a deep breath, extended his arms, and promptly threw himself onto the ground. “Here, kittykittykitty!” he called in a soft, high-pitched voice. He clicked his tongue several times, waiting for the cat to show up.

“Argh!” Gundham exclaimed. “Why didn’t my spell work?!”

Celeste snickered, knowing he only responded to one person. “Cheri!”

“ _Row!_ ”

Grand Bois Cheri Ludenberg poked his little, grey head out from behind a shelf on the wall, knocking everything down as he came fumbling towards Celeste. She bent down and he immediately jumped into her arms. She held him tightly, not caring about the fur that was getting on her clothes. She missed him, but Hope’s Peak Academy didn’t allow pets, so she made an arrangement with Gundham to keep him safe. She could only visit him every so often so no one else would catch wind of Cheri being hers.

“How has he been?” she asked.

“The beast hisses and bites whenever I pet him, however, he seems comfortable.”

Celeste chuckled. “Good. I trained him well.”

He was so big, she could barely hold him. She put him back on the ground, but he stood on his hind legs, barely able to prop his front feet on her leg, and pressed his forehead into her arm.

A memory from a few years ago slid its way into Celeste’s mind.

_Taeko would’ve been able to focus on doing her homework in her room if it weren’t for the loud argument her parents were having downstairs. With her door closed, they were a little more muffled than usual, but she could still make out that they were arguing about money again. She knew her mother was yelling at her father for not being able to retain a job and it pissed Taeko off how hypocritical she was since all she did was sit around and watch TV all day. Her mom didn’t have a job either, she had no right to be mad at her dad._

_Every couple of days it was like this, seemingly at random. Taeko could never predict when it would happen. Her dad would come home, with or without a job, and suddenly her mom would pop off. She’d scream, hit him, throw things; she was insane, but it was only him. She never spoke to Taeko, let alone scream or hit her. Either way, Taeko vowed to never be anything like her. She was going to be a proper lady._

_Meanwhile, her father would receive all of the inhumane things her mother did. She remembered her parents arguing back and forth when she was very little, but after her father came back from some war Taeko didn’t know anything about, he accepted everything her mom did to him. He stopped talking to Taeko too. She didn’t understand what she did wrong. They used to play card games all the time— a deck of cards was the only entertainment they could afford when her mother constantly ran up the electricity bill when it could’ve been spent on something more important like food— but after he came back, he didn’t want to anymore. He didn’t want to do anything. Every time she looked her father in the eyes, she could see that his soul had completely left him. Taeko was a product of two soulless people, something she would have to accept. She probably didn’t have a soul either._

_Time passed and her mother’s voice only got louder. Taeko had to do her homework but how could she focus in an environment like this? Normally, she would sit in the local library to do her work in peace, but after her father found out she had snuck herself into underground gambling, she was forbidden from leaving the house except for school. This wouldn’t stop her, but her parents couldn’t be right downstairs if she was going to sneak out. Technically, she could just leave. They probably wouldn’t notice._

_But she wanted them to notice. She wanted at least one of them to care, to feel any sort of emotion towards her, but her mother only cared about her dad and ignored her while her dad didn’t care about anything at all. Even if it was rage, it was something._

_She turned her head, looking at Cheri, who curled into the corner of the room, his pupils large and staring at the door. The poor cat was terrified by the loud noises. He was only a kitten._

_Enraged, Taeko picked up a shoe, swung open her door, and threw it downstairs. “Stop it!” she cried. She aimed for her parents but retreated back into her room before she knew where it landed, slamming the door as hard as she could behind her. Maybe that would get them to stop arguing. Maybe they would yell at her instead._

_But they never came. There was no knock or bang on her door. Instead, the muffled screams continued. They didn’t care. No matter how much she lashed out, she would never be enough for them._

_She looked down at her homework, her head in one hand. It became hard to read with the distortion of the tears in her eyes. She squeezed them shut, making the tears stain the paper. All she wanted was for someone to recognize they were upsetting her. Her father had told her the only thing she should have to worry about was school, but he didn’t care that he was hindering her by letting her mother scream at him._

_Taeko sniffled, her sobs slowly becoming more intense as she tried to tell herself she didn’t care. Rich people didn’t have these problems. If their family had the money, her parents wouldn’t be arguing about it. If they had the money, her dad wouldn’t be in and out of working one or two jobs and they’d all eat dinner together like the families in the mangas she’d read at the library. If they had the money, she wouldn’t have to starve, needing to steal food in order to survive._

_Why did her mother spend their money on such stupid things? All the times Taeko begged her for something to eat, she would tell her to stop complaining and would continue watching TV. She wanted Taeko to suffer. Taeko was so ordinary, so boring that even her mother wanted her to waste away and disappear._

_She felt something furry on her arm. “Rrow,” Cheri meowed as he rubbed his cheeks against her. He stood on his hind legs, using Taeko’s body to balance himself so he could smash his forehead into hers. She smiled and scratched behind his ears as his cat fur clung to the tears running down her face._

_He was the only thing that cared about her. Cheri was scared, but he still came over to comfort her. He nestled himself on top of the homework she wasn’t going to finish anyway and soothed Taeko with his purrs._

_They were going to escape. She was going to make enough money to run away from this horrible way of life. The only way Taeko would be able to get out would be to claw her way to the top by bringing everyone else down. She didn’t want anyone else and she didn’t need anyone else._

_A big castle with just her and her cat. Alone._

_Alone._

_Alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to make it clear that characters will have viewpoints that don't match mine. People perceive things differently, especially when they're young, hence the 'unreliable narrator' tag.


	7. A Dreaded Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the later upload, this is a longer chapter and it took longer to write.
> 
> Not gonna lie, I have no idea if it’s actually called the Swan Theme. I’ve looked it up several times and I can’t figure out the exact name of it other than just. The Swan Theme.

_Ding Dong Bing Bong_

The start of a new day. A new but dreaded day.

Kaede sighed as she slammed her head back into her pillow. She wanted to lay in her bed all day and wait for the day to pass. It would be so easy to just ‘forget’ about the promise she made. Unfortunately, a reminder buzzed her phone.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Good morning! Remember to knock on my door at exactly 9:10. Our future relationship depends heavily on your actions today. Do not fail.

Kaede’s heart dropped at the last sentence’s implied ‘or else.’ What did it mean to fail and what exactly would happen if she did? Would Celeste simply ignore Kaede from then on? That wouldn’t be good. She wanted Celeste to like her.

No, she wanted to get Celeste to join the training team. If Celeste became friends with Kaede and the others, she wouldn’t be as mean, but she wouldn’t be friends with her if she didn’t like Kaede.

After doing her usual morning routine, Kaede realized she didn’t know what to wear. Celeste was absolutely the type of person to silently judge someone based on their clothing. Kaede figured the best way to avoid ‘failing’ was to ask.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Anything specific you want me to wear?

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Look presentable. Do not worry about upstaging me. You will not. :-) I will be wearing my best dress.

Kaede rolled her eyes. Of course, she would add some unnecessary jab.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Define “presentable”

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** If I need to tell you how to look presentable, then you have some social issues you need to work out.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** No i mean presentable is vague

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I told you all you need. Do not contact me again until you are in front of my door. I, too, need to prepare for the day.

Kaede collapsed back onto her bed. “Presentable,” she mocked. Kaede always looked presentable, at least in her mind. She decided to wear the best clothes she had that weren't any of her recital dresses: a pink polo shirt and khaki bermuda shorts. After ironing them out for what felt like an eternity— Celeste would probably hate wrinkled clothes— she picked up a light jacket. Despite the forecast being warm weather, Kaede’s bad blood circulation often made her cold, so she tied the sleeves around her neck for when she got chilly.

She still had another twenty minutes. Hell, she had the time to do her make-up. Celeste would probably like it.

 _No, Kaede_ liked doing her make-up, it’s just she hardly gave herself the time to do it. Why the heck did she even _think_ about what Celeste liked about her looks. Make-up was for Kaede and Kaede only!

By the time she finished, it was time for her to head out. She picked up her backpack and headed towards Celeste’s room.

When she stood in front of Celeste’s door, Kaede could feel the butterflies flutter around in her stomach. It would make sense for her to be afraid of being Celeste’s servant for the day. Celeste could make her do all kinds of things like force Kaede to be her chair or carry her everywhere or whip her if she did anything wrong. But what she was feeling at that moment was something else. Those were the same butterflies she had right before a recital. She was nervously excited, not for what fresh torture was about to come but to see Celeste again.

Weird.

She looked at her watch and waited a full minute before it turned to nine ten. With a deep breath, she played a light tune with four knocks.

Immediately, like she was waiting for her, the door swung open to show Celeste in a short, black, victorian dress without a blazer and tie. She still had her bonnet and twin drills but she also wore a pearl necklace and black lipstick. She certainly looked both scarier and prettier than usual.

“Perfect timing,” Celeste grinned. “Starting off strong—” Suddenly, Celeste blinked in shock, her smile dropping when her eyes fell to Kaede’s jacket. “Take that off right now.”

“My jacket? What’s wrong with it?”

Celeste sighed and looked away, toying with her hair. “I cannot believe you left your room wearing it like that. You preps are _ridiculous_.”

“I always wrap my jackets like this if I’m not wearing them.”

“Uch, around your _neck_? Absolutely not. Never do that again. You would benefit from a few conversations with Junko.”

“I think I look okay,” Kaede mumbled, untying her jacket and wrapping it around her waist. “I even ironed my clothes for you.” She didn’t mean to add ‘for you.’

“You do not normally have your clothes ironed?” Celeste rolled her eyes, finally allowing herself to look back at Kaede. “Whatever. I suppose you are trying. You cannot help that you cannot afford an extensive wardrobe as I do.” She stepped out of the doorway and closed the door behind her. “Despite the fact that you look like you are about to go golfing, you _do_ look nice. You did an excellent job of choosing the right color to bring out your eyes.”

“Thanks,” Kaede blushed. She felt the need to return a compliment. Celeste’s dress fit around her perfectly. So perfect that it made Kaede’s stomach drop from looking at it. “Your dress is cool.” 

Celeste’s face lit up. “Oh? You think so? I made it myself, you see.” She spun around, making the ends poof up a little.

“Seriously?” Kaede doubted. “Like, you seriously made that from _scratch_?”

“Mmhm. Wonderful, is it not?” She joyfully put her hands on her cheeks. “It took me a month as I stitched it by hand.”

“That’s so cool!” Without thinking, Kaede knelt down and pinched the hinge of Celeste’s dress, looking closer.

“Hm. So, I was correct in my assumption of you.”

Kaede looked up. “Huh?”

Celeste shrugged, smirking. “Oh, nothing. I was thinking aloud.” She placed a finger onto Kaede’s forehead. “However, I do not recall giving you permission to touch,” she said in a calm, but stern voice.

Kaede immediately let go. “O-Oh, sorry. Can I?”

Celeste removed her finger. “Hmhm. Yes, admire me as much as you want.”

Gentler this time, Kaede held the end of the dress. She traced a finger on the seam, searching for proof of a sewing machine, for a lie. But sure enough, there were several stitches that were slightly out of place, proof that she was telling the truth. Each stitch was so small and careful that Celeste must have an extraordinary amount of patience and love for her art.

“Enough,” Celeste suddenly announced. She placed her hand on the bottom of Kaede’s jaw, leading her to stand up. Wow, Celeste was touching her a lot.

Flustered, Kaede said, “You have a steady hand.”

“Indeed.” She tightened her grip around Kaede’s jaw, pressing her cheeks together.

“Uh, are you gonna let go of me?”

Celeste didn’t say anything. Instead, she stared intensely into Kaede’s confused eyes. Okay, she was probably trying to intimidate her with a power move. Weirdo. Kaede copied her action by putting her hand on Celeste’s jaw as well. “How do _you_ like it?” Kaede probed.

Celeste raised an eyebrow and laughed. “Have you forgotten that I am your master for the day? You cannot do this.” She dug the sharp, plated ring on her finger into Kaede’s neck. “There will be consequences.”

“Okayokayokay,” Kaede pleaded, letting go.

Celeste dropped her hand and grinned as if nothing was wrong. “Very good. I believe we have a meal to get to, yes?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Kaede turned on her heels and started walking towards the dining hall, except only after a few steps did she realize Celeste wasn’t following her. “You coming or what?”

Celeste put the back of her wrist to her forehead and dramatically sighed. “I am a young bachelorette, Kaede, dear. I cannot walk anywhere by myself; the hounds will get me. You must escort me.”

Kaede swung her arm, gesturing to the end of the hallway. “Well, yeah, if you get to moving, I’ll walk with you, _duh_.” Celeste didn’t move. “You don’t want me to carry you like Gonta does, do you?”

“Oh? Can you?” Celeste closed in on Kaede, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “That would be lovely. I am ready when you are.”

“I don’t think I can pick you up,” Kaede cautioned, feeling Celeste’s breath on her ear. That wasn’t a… comfortable feeling, being that close to her.

“Darn,” Celeste breathed, backing off. “I suppose we can continue with a classic.” She extended her elbow, gesturing for Kaede to lock arms with her. Once they connected, she said, “Lead on.”

Once they arrived at the dining hall, there were very few people eating at the long table containing all of the food. It was only Leon, who was watching Akane and Byakuya have an eating contest.

“Good morning, all.” Celeste greeted. While no one greeted her back, Leon did say hello to Kaede. “How rude. You see, Kaede, dear, this is how everyone remains at a low rank. People are so impolite nowadays.”

“Low rank? You rank people?”

“But of course. Most people fall under D-rank, meaning they have no value to me. No one has made it above C-rank, however. Do you believe you are worthy of making it that far?”

“That just means you want someone who’s a close friend, right? Sure, I’ll be your friend!”

She sighed and shook her head. “Your way of thinking is bizarre. No matter. Where will we be sitting? Choose wisely. That is how you get points.”

“Um, well the food’s over there, so let’s sit there.” When Kaede moved towards the table with the food, she felt Celeste tug on her arm.

“Uh uh. We will not be eating there.” She looked up at a far off table in the corner. “There.”

“You don’t wanna sit with anyone?”

“I will be sitting with you,” Celeste smiled.

“Um… okay, let’s get food.” Kaede gestured towards the table again, only to be pulled back like a dog on a leash.

“No,” Celeste scolded.

“Are we not gonna eat?”

“Hmhm. Let us sit down.”

They walked over to the table Celeste wanted. Kaede plopped down into a chair and held her head back, irritated by Celeste’s confusing actions. “Ahem,” Celeste coughed. Kaede looked at her, seeing she had not sat down yet. She stood next to her, eyeing the chair across from Kaede.

Oh, right. Servant. Ugh, this was so dumb.

Kaede rolled her eyes and got up, pulling out Celeste’s chair.

“Very good,” Celeste thanked, smoothing her dress as Kaede pushed the chair in for her. She pointed to Kaede’s seat. “ _Now_ , you may sit.”

Once Kaede _finally_ sat down, Kirumi eventually walked in and placed two teacups in front of them. “Your milk tea,” she said.

“Thank you, Kirumi, dear,” Celeste said. “You see? Kirumi is the perfect example of someone who is C-rank. You get there by following my orders correctly without question.”

Kirumi bowed. “I am simply fulfilling my duties. Selfless devotion creates a perfect interaction between servant and master.” It was only now that Kaede heard the slight difference in Kirumi and Celeste’s voices. Originally, they sounded the same, both having a formal and regal air about them, but there was something about the way Kirumi spoke that felt more genuine while Celeste sounded more forced and calculated.

“However,” Kirumi said, getting a sense of the situation, “the best masters are the ones that earned the right to have people serve them.”

Without looking at her, Celeste told Kirumi, “You have completed your task. Do you not have other people to tend to?”

Kirumi hesitated and nodded. “Yes, of course. My apologies. I hope you enjoy your tea.” She returned to the kitchen.

Celeste lifted up her cup. “Milk tea is one of my favorite beverages. Drink it, savor it, memorize it. You will be making it for me at some point in the near future.” She took a sip.

“No more coffee olay?” Kaede asked.

Celeste corrected, “Cafe au lait.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Cafe. Au. Lait.”

“Cah-fee. Oh. Lay.”

“Your lack of class really shines. No, I have no use for cafe au lait anymore. I am more at peace with milk tea. I recommend taking a sip,” Celeste demanded.

Kaede looked down at the brown swirl in her cup. She picked it up and filled her entire mouth with tea. Yeah, it was pretty good.

Celeste blinked. “I said a _sip_.”

“Mm,” Kaede muffled, swallowing. “My bad.”

“Uch. You have no manners at all.”

“Yes, I do!” Kaede flapped her elbows. “See? No elbows on the table!”

“The ‘No Elbows On The Table’ rule only applies when in a large setting so you do not get in the way of others. Since we are the only ones sitting here and are across from each other, it does not matter.”

Before Kaede could respond, Teruteru appeared next to them holding two plates of food. “Half of a freshly baked baguette for you—” He placed the baguette in front of Celeste. “—and one spinach omelette for you.” The omelette was put in front of Kaede after he put his finger to his chin. “Two unlikely girls eating breakfast together? I wonder what’s going on here…” Kaede had no idea what he was implying but there was a high chance that if she did, she’d be pissed off.

“None of your business,” Celeste replied in a sharp tone. “If you do not leave immediately, I will have Kaede pull apart your throat.”

“Will she now?” He had a gross look in his eye. “To have Kaede grab at my neck has always been a dream of mine!” he shouted.

“Dude!” Kaede heard behind her before an apple hit Teruteru right under his eye. She turned around to see Leon standing up. “Back off her, we talked about this!”

“Uh, sorry!” He, too, ran back into the kitchen except with shame welting on his cheek. Kaede looked back at Leon, who gave a smile and a thumbs up, only to quickly turn down when his eyes met Celeste’s.

Kaede didn’t know how to feel about the situation. She could’ve handled it herself or Celeste might’ve been able to sweet talk him away. Either way, the gesture was nice. Violent, but nice. She’d rather someone do _something_ rather than let it happen. Still… she probably could’ve pushed Teruteru and would’ve gotten the same result.

She looked down at the food he brought her. “An… omelette?”

“A _spinach_ omelette,” Celeste specified. “Spinach is high in iron, you know. I hope you like it.”

“Did you ask Teruteru to make it for me?”

“I cannot have you fainting on me, can I? I will make sure you eat. A fine meal helps expand the soul, after all.”

“Oh, um…” That was surprising. She didn’t expect Celeste to care. “That’s really considerate.”

“You get _some_ benefits from serving me. Do you see? Being my servant is not so bad.”

Kaede was about to fork a majority of the omelette into her mouth but. Hm. Manners. She watched Celeste carefully use a fork and a knife to cut her baguette into bite-sized pieces.

A fork? On bread? Just eat it, weirdo.

Kaede mimicked Celeste in how strangely intricate she was with her food. Once again, when she looked at her, she thought of Tchaikovsky’s _Swan Theme_.

There must’ve been a look on Kaede’s face that prompted Celeste to ask, “Is something on your mind?”

“So, um, what kind of music do you like?”

”Hmhm. I would not expect anything less from an Ultimate Pianist. What kind of music do you _think_ I listen to?”

Kaede shrugged. “I don’t wanna stereotype, but you’re goth, right? So, I’d guess like gothic rock or screamo or something.”

Celeste giggled, “Hm. I understand why you would think that. But no, I am particularly fond of the Romantic era in all artistic aspects.”

Kaede inhaled a deep gasp, squishing her hands into her cheeks and nearly stabbing herself with her utensils. “ME TOO!” She leaned in, putting her elbows on the table to hold herself up. “Like, _nobody_ I know likes Romantic music! What do you like about it? I really— like the best thing about it— it’s like—” She was stumbling over her words with how excited she was. “There’s something about the expression of emotions and the… the relationship with nature—”

“Combined with the newfound intellect of the Enlightenment?”

Kaede slowly nodded.

“I agree,” Celeste said. “There is more to us in common than I previously thought.”

“Who’s your favorite composer? Mine’s gotta be Chopin. Like, I know everyone knows him and Claire de Lune, but he’s popular for a reason! He was crazy innovative with the piano and how we think about harmony and uh, uh,” She was rambling. “Sorry, who’s your favorite composer? And song, too.”

“Tchaikovsky.” She even pronounced it right! “The entirety of Swan Lake is a masterpiece, though I get chills every time I hear the Swan Theme. It plays at the beginning of one of my favorite movies: Dracula. You know, the American one from the thirties?”

...What the hell?

Oh, god, was Kaede _actually_ getting hypnotized?!

“Oh, really?” Kaede tried to play it off. “Whenever I look at you, that’s the song I think of. You’re really—” That was weird. She shouldn’t have said that. That was a really, really weird thing to say. Kaede needed to stop talking.

Celeste rested her chin on her entwined fingers. “I am what? Hmhm.”

“Um… you’re really… cool. Like the song,” Kaede deflected. Yeah, she guessed she could call Celeste cool. She made her own clothes and had great taste in music. And when she wasn’t being a jerk, she was polite and cared about manners.

And yeah. Sure. Whatever. She was pretty, too.

“I get the feeling,” Celeste tilted her head, “there was something more you wanted to say.”

“Nope.”

“Look me in the eyes when you say that,” Celeste said, her voice quiet and smooth. Had Kaede not been looking at her? When she did finally look Celeste in the eyes, those scary, red contacts with long, false eyelashes with perfect eyeliner…

Kaede turned away, rubbing the goosebumps that coated her arms. “It’s cold in here.” She put on the jacket around her waist.

“Eat,” Celeste commanded. “Perhaps you would feel warmer with nutrients flowing through you.”

With her face down, Kaede took another few bites. There was a warmth in her heart, but the rest of her body chilled in a way she never felt before. It was uncomfortable, disturbing, dirty even, like she was feeling something she wasn’t supposed to. She didn’t know what that emotion was, but something inside Kaede told her it was wrong. She wanted to shake it off and ignore it like it never existed.

Music. She just wanted to talk about music.

“Do you have a favorite instrument? Or can you _play_ one?” Kaede asked. She put her head in her hands. “I-I’m sorry. I keep talking about music. I don’t wanna, like, bother you.”

Celeste shook her head. “I cannot find fault in a conversation while sharing a meal. You may speak freely about your interests.”

“R-Really? You aren’t bothered by it?”

“Are people normally bothered by your interest in music?”

Kaede held her arm. “People at my old school used to call me Piano Freak because I only talked about piano.”

“Hm. And where are those people now?” Celeste took a bite of bread.

“Uh, they’re still at my old school.”

“And where are you?”

“I’m… um…” Kaede smiled, understanding what Celeste was saying. “Yeah. I’m here.”

“Exactly. Do not listen to untalented people. While, yes, your obsession is strange,” Celeste rested her chin in the palm of her hand. “I enjoy strange. To answer your question, the violin is the most appealing instrument in an orchestra to me.”

Kaede nodded and laughed. “Oh, so you’re, like, really sensitive.”

“Excuse me?” Celeste raised an eyebrow.

“Violins are really intense and emotional. People that like violins are pretty sensitive, in my opinion,” Kaede said, casually rocking back and forth on the back legs of her chair.

“Sensitive…” Celeste narrowed her eyes. “I disagree. And stop that before you fall.”

“Can you play the violin?” Kaede slammed the chair down, excited for Celeste’s answer.

“No, I cannot. While I come from a family of musicians on my mother’s side, I would rather listen to a first-rate musician than bother playing something myself.”

“Oh! A whole family of musicians?!”

“Hmhm. Yes, my mother is a composer with her primary instrument being the violin.” Celeste waved her butterknife around. “Naturally, with me hearing it all the time, I grew quite fond of the violin.”

Kaede clapped her empty hands together. She didn't remember when she put down the fork and knife. “You gotta show me her work! I’d love to hear it.”

Celeste frowned. “Unfortunately, my mother is one of those artists that has not released any of her art to the world. Despite her age and skill, she does not believe she is ready. A true artist’s dilemma: to showcase your craft or to continue to grow first?”

Kaede could relate to that. Her dream was to arrange music for pop singers, movies, games, anything where she could make music to make people smile. But composing music is a lot more personal than playing something someone else made. If anyone didn’t like what she made, it would feel like a personal attack and she didn’t know if she could handle that just yet.

“She spends her entire day locked in her room,” Celeste continued, “unwilling to be disturbed as she practices. Is there anything you do besides playing the piano?”

Kaede thought for a moment. “Um… not really. There’s not that much I can do because I don’t want my fingers to get messed up. I do small stuff but nothing cool like making clothes. My life revolves around piano since you have to practice at least four hours a day, kinda like your mom. But being here is great because I don’t have to be in school all day. I actually have time to practice!”

“What are these things you describe to be small?”

“Sometimes, I’ll watch other people here practice their talents. Otherwise, I’ll watch TV or read a manga or something.”

“Uch,” Celeste scoffed. “As much as I adore different art mediums, I cannot stand anime and manga. It is so… common. I much prefer actual literature that is not riddled with images. Otaku are atrocious people as well.”

“Hey!” Kaede crossed her arms. “ _Some_ of us have a hard time reading a bunch of words for three hundred pages!”

Celeste leaned in. “Are _you_ an otaku, Kaede?”

“No, I watch anime and read manga casually. All I’m saying is it’s a little easier to focus on images rather than words.”

“I am learning more about you as the seconds go by.” Celeste looked down at Kaede’s food. “Eat. Before it gets cold. Cold omelettes are never appetizing.”

They continued eating their breakfast, making small talk with Kaede trying to remember fancy table manners she never learned. When they finished, Celeste had Kaede take their plates to Kirumi as leaving plates on the table was rude.

When they were ready to leave, Celeste said, “Are you ready for the next thing on the agenda?”

Kaede braced herself. “I’m ready.”

Celeste extended her arm again for Kaede to hold. “Follow me.”

She led her down the hallway, making a few turns before they stopped in front of the school store. Celeste let go and gestured to the door as if it were the entrance to a grand museum. “Ah, the school store, where students, faculty, and staff can purchase a number of items ranging from necessities to silly knick-knacks.”

“Cool,” Kaede acknowledged. “Why are we here?”

Celeste turned to her and folded her hands in front of her. “Buy me something.”

Kaede recoiled. “You want me to _buy you something_?”

“Yes, thank you for repeating what I just said.”

“Why would I do that?” Kaede asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“Because I would appreciate it and this is an easy way for you to gain points. If that is not a sufficient answer,” Her voice suddenly turned cold, “then it is because you are my servant and you do what I say.” She turned back to her sweet facade. “Now, get me something nice.”

Kaede thought about the contents of her backpack. “I don’t think I brought my wallet.”

“Then go get it. I will wait here eagerly for your return.”

Kaede groaned and turned around, making her way to her dorm.

Before she was able to leave the building, she nearly bumped into someone as she turned a corner.

“Hey, Kaede!” Leon grinned.

“Hey… Leon?” Kaede didn’t know if she should feel joy in seeing someone she was relatively friendly with or dread based on what he might say.

He crossed his arms. “Sorry about Teruteru earlier. He can be kinda… messed up.” He suddenly filled with excitement again. “But don’t worry about it! I got you covered! Heh, you can call me your hero, if you want.”

“Thanks,” she said bluntly.

“Why are you hanging out with Celeste? You know she’s crazy, right?”

Kaede sighed. “It’s a long story.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “So, uh, what are you doing right now?”

“I left my wallet in my room, so I’m gonna go get it.”

“Hm. Cool, cool…”

They stared at each other for a bit.

“...Okay.” Kaede moved forward, only to have Leon block her path.

“Wait.” He scratched his head harder and smiled. “What are you doing next week?”

Uh oh. “Are you asking me out?”

“Whoa-oa, you’re pretty direct, huh? That’s awesome. I was thinking we could play a couple of songs together; you on piano, me on my sick guitar. Did you know I play guitar?”

Kaede could see behind his chill demeanor, he was shaking with nervousness. How much courage did he have to build up to ask her out? Leon didn’t seem like a bad guy, he actually seemed kind of nice. She didn’t feel anything towards him, but could she? That was what dating was for, right? To find out if you actually like someone and if you’re compatible? They definitely could be compatible. They both liked music, Kaede felt they had similar laid back personalities… 

“Sure, why not?” Kaede accepted. She could at least give him a chance instead of cutting him off.

“Really?! Awesome!” he yelled. “That gives me a chance to perfect my playing for you! I’ll see you then, alright?”

“Yup.”

He walked off with a skip in his step.

As Kaede continued down the hall and out of the school towards her dorm, she felt like there was something missing. Something she was supposed to feel that wasn’t there. It was normal for guys to ask a girl out, even when she wasn’t feeling it, right? Was she supposed to feel excited? Nervous?

She wanted to text Shuichi or Kaito, but they were boys. Would they understand? Luckily, she had friends who were girls.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Leon just asked me out on a date

 **Maki Harukawa:** Ok.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** I dont know how to feel about it

 **Maki Harukawa:** Are you asking me for advice? I don’t know anything about that kind of stuff.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Has a boy ever asked you out before?

 **Maki Harukawa:** How should I know? Romance doesn’t make any sense to me.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** I think youd know if someone asked you out

 **Maki Harukawa:** :/ Kaito taught me how to make that face. That is my face in real life.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Lol im glad youre getting more comfortable with your phone

 **Maki Harukawa:** I don’t understand what Lol means.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Laugh out loud

 **Maki Harukawa:** You laughed out loud? :) Kaito also taught me how to make that face. I’m sorry I don’t know how to help you.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Its okay don’t worry about it

Kaede got to her room, picked up her wallet, and left as she texted Mikan.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Hey mikan have you ever been asked out on a date before

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** YES i have

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** How did you feel when he asked you out?

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** I THREW UP I WAS SO EXCITED

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Thats nice i think. leon just asked me out and i dont know how to feel

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** YAAAAY IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! σ(≧ε≦ｏ) i dont think youre supposed to feel anything specific whatever you feel is valid

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Thanks mikan. i dont really feel anything. its just kinda. Neutral.

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** thats okay you might like him later and if you dont thats okay too!!!!

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Thats what i was thinking. you made me feel a lot better, thank you!

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** i hope your date goes well!!!!!!! (۶ꈨຶꎁꈨຶ )۶ʸᵉᵃʰᵎ be careful because the boy that asked me out stood me up it turns out it was a prank

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Omg im so sorry mikan thats horrible

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** its okay as long as i got asked out im happy ლ(*꒪ヮ꒪*)ლ

Kaede returned to Celeste her heart now a little more at ease.

“That took you much longer than expected.” Celeste tapped her foot impatiently. “Were you attempting to escape?”

“Sorry, I got, um, distracted.” Celeste didn’t need to know what happened.

“Do not leave me waiting again,” Celeste said as she opened the door to the school store.

When they entered the store, Kaede looked around at all of the insane items piled up like a storage unit. “So, what do you want?”

“Pick something for me.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier if you just _told_ me what you want?”

Celeste shook her head. “A good servant knows their master. Go on.”

Kaede scanned the room for something that screamed ‘Celestia Ludenberg.’ She wanted to get something cheap, but if it was too cheap, Celeste might get angry. She looked a handcrafted bracelet that was as detailed as her dress. It was an everlasting bracelet, considered to never come off one you put it on. Spooky, just like Celeste.

“Heh?” Kaede questioned, holding it up to Celeste.

Celeste didn’t move her face or say a word.

Okay. No everlasting bracelet.

She spotted a bright, crystal skull and picked it up, shining its reflections all over the room.

“ _Heh?_ ” Kaede asked again.

Celeste closed her eyes when the reflection went into her face, but otherwise didn’t respond. It didn’t seem like she was going to with anything Kaede offered. She really just had to pick something. Great.

After another search, she found an old-looking porcelain doll with a purple hat and dress. Creepy, probably haunted. That would work. It was a little expensive, but Kaede paid for it anyway, not wanting to spend any more time running around and looking like an idiot.

“Here,” she said, handing Celeste the doll.

“Do not be rude. Gift it to me formally.”

“What the heck…” Kaede put on a fancy voice. “Thou hath bringeth you a gift, my liege,” she joked.

Celeste let out an extended giggle, one that felt a little more genuine than the other one’s Kaede heard. It was kind of nice making Celeste laugh. “Incorrect, but your attempt was pleasing.” Celeste examined the doll. “An interesting choice. Explain your reasoning.”

“I don’t know, I just felt like you’d like it.”

“Surely you had more thought than that.”

“Uuugh. I guess it’s the… um…” She took a moment to really think. “Porcelain dolls are always thought to be haunted, at least in my mind. People don’t really like interacting with them because of that reason, but even if they were haunted, they’re probably not that dangerous. They’re so small and fragile that just dropping it would break it and send the spirit away. And the clothes are cool; detailed and really feminine. Whoever made this took a lot of time to make it. Unless they made it in a factory, haha. But I think someone made this. And, I don’t know, it just seems like something you’d like. It reminded me of you.”

Celeste was shocked. “Oh dear, I did not expect you to give such a… deep response.”

“It wasn’t that deep,” Kaede averted. “And you think I can’t analyze a piece of art?”

Celeste put her hand over her mouth. “You see me as a piece of art? Hmhmhm, thank you.”

“Ack— Eh— The— The _doll_!”

“Hee hee. I adore this so much, that I am having difficulty expressing my gratitude,” Celeste beamed, holding the doll close to her chest.

“You can pay me back,” Kaede said, crossing her arms.

“Hmhm, your jests tickle me.”

Kaede rolled her eyes.

“I will tell you what. As your reward, I will allow you to play the piano for me.”

“Really?” Now _this_ is what Kaede wanted to hear. “Do you have any requests? I can play anything with sheet music and there’s a _lot_ of sheet music in my lab. Well, it might not be that good if I don’t know it already but I’ll play it anyway.”

“Whatever your heart tells you to play, I will listen. Show me your favorites.”

Kaede practically dragged Celeste to her research lab with Celeste continuously reminding her to slow down.

Once they got in, Celeste looked around at the piano, the CDs and records that lined the wall, the chalkboard with music staffs and small self-portraits of Ibuki, the large ULTIMATE PIANIST sign, and the dozens of pieces of sheet music scattered across the floor. “It is rather messy in here. Quite an interesting look into your mind.”

“I’m not the _only_ one that comes in here,” Kaede said, passing blame. “Ibuki, Sayaka, and I hang out all the time.”

“You are telling me that the sheet music on the floor is not yours?”

“Most of it isn’t.”

“Ah, is it because most of your mess is on the piano?” She pointed to the small stacks of paper on top of the grand piano in the center of the room.

Kaede dropped her shoulders. “Yeah, I guess that’s mine… but I’ll tidy up later. Right now, music!” She pulled up one of the extra seats closer to the piano and patted it, signaling for Celeste to sit down. When she did, Kaede stepped up on the velvet platform and sat in the pianist’s chair.

“I haven’t warmed up yet,” Kaede lampshaded, “so don’t judge me if I mess up, okay?”

“I _will_ be judging,” Celeste reassured. “What will you be playing?”

“Clair de Lune. Do you know it?”

“Of course I know Clair de Lune. It is one of the most famous pieces of its time. Created right at the start of the Impressionist era.”

Kaede took a deep breath and looked out the big window to her left. It was a bright, sunny day outside, so she closed her eyes and imagined a full moon to set herself in the right mood for her favorite piece to play. She stretched her fingers and placed a foot on one of the pedals. Once her fingers made contact with the keys, she felt the same amount of comfort she would have in a home she had lived in for fifty years and was able to ignore Celeste’s piercing gaze to start playing.

It was just her, the piano, and the imaginary moon.

She didn’t need sheet music to know how to perform the piece; she had practiced it hundreds of times. Sheet music wasn’t necessary anyway in her opinion; the point of Impressionism was to capture a feeling and not worry about getting something perfect. There were a few slip-ups, but nothing she couldn’t playoff. These were the times she felt most connected with the Earth. With each key she pressed, the Earth would hum back in response and anyone else in the room could listen in on their conversation.

Once the song was over, she put her hands in her lap to show that she was done. She heard tiny claps to her right.

“Bravo!” Celeste applauded. “That was magnificent! Unlike anything I have ever heard.”

Kaede bowed. “Thanks, I’m glad I made you happy.”

“Despite how many times I have heard the same song, each player performs it differently. Remarkable.”

Kaede shrugged, “Yeah, sheet music is just a skeleton. Each performer has to put their own interpretation on it.”

“I did not expect such a somber song to be a favorite of yours.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I would imagine you to like something more…” Celeste took a moment to think of the right word. “chipper.”

Kaede put her finger up, ready to lay down some facts. “It’s a misconception that the moon is the dark version of the sun. In fact, moonlight is the only light in darkness, so I think it’s a lot more positive than the sun. At least you can look at the moon. And Clair de Lune isn’t somber! It’s part of Suite Bergamasque and a bergamask is a style of dance that’s actually kinda silly.”

Celeste put a hand up. “Oh, I do apologize for my misunderstanding. Your interpretation of the moon has got me thinking of how there is a great possibility that there are things we see as positive or negative simply because we are told to. We live in a society that expects us to follow rules and morals created by people long dead and anyone who rebels against it is a traitor that should be punished.”

Kaede laughed. “Did you really say ‘we live in a society’ unironically?”

Celeste tilted her head, confused. “Is there an ironic way to say it?”

“Nevermind. I don’t like thinking about all that stuff. I just wanna play piano and make people smile.”

“Perhaps you should think about those things. You never know.” Celeste widened her eyes. “Your way of thinking could be mandated by people in power who would much prefer a group of people to be dead.”

Kaede squinted. “You’re weird, Celeste.”

Celeste lifted one shoulder to her chin. “I only speak the truth.”

Kaede squinted harder. “ _Do_ you?”

“Hmhm. It is not important at this moment. Right now, I wish for you to play more for me. Encore!”

“Alright!” Kaede rubbed her hands together. “You’re right that Clair de Lune is Impressionist but I’ll play you something Romantic!”

One after the other, Kaede played piano for Celeste, from Chopin, her favorite composer, to Tchaikovsky, to Liszt. After each piece, Kaede would pause to blather about what she liked about it and Celeste would listen, _actually_ listen. How many people would actively listen to Kaede’s passionate ramblings about music, even with the occasional side tangents she would go on? Celeste felt like the only person who was able to follow along _and_ hold a conversation with her since she liked the same genre of music.

Time didn’t feel like it was passing, as if the two of them were in their own dimension, until the _ding_ for lunch rang across the school. Even then, Celeste continued to wait through a few more songs before standing up. “I believe our time is up. I have had enough for now and I need food.”

“Aw, but I wanted to show you more pieces. I’m all warmed up now!”

Celeste shook her head. “That will have to wait for another time.”

Kaede frowned. “You mean we’re done altogether? The bet was I was supposed to be your servant for the whole day.”

“Indeed. That means we will continue at a later date. Whenever I call for you, I expect you to be ready.”

Kaede didn’t know what to say. “Um… okay.” She felt like she had just been robbed.

Celeste curtseyed. “I did very much enjoy our time together. You disappointed me far less than I expected. Goodbye.”

“Hey, wait,” Kaede stood up. “You don’t want an escort?”

Celeste smiled. “No, thank you. I appreciate your desire but I am fine on my own.” She giggled in a way that felt like she was obscuring something. Kaede didn’t know what.

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you later.”

“Do not forget to eat,” Celeste reminded before she left.

After the door closed, Kaede expected a huge weight to be lifted off of her. She was free. She didn’t have to listen to Celeste but why did she feel so empty now that she was gone? The whole day, Kaede thought Celeste was going to do something crazy to her but she never did anything that was as wild as she had imagined. Celeste wasn’t as bad as Kaede had thought. Even as a servant, Kaede wasn’t treated poorly. Celeste just had high expectations. She was kind of cool, actually. A little weird, but cool.

She’d never felt like this about anyone before. Weirdly enough, Kaede couldn’t wait for the next time she could see Celeste.

Why did she feel that way? Something was wrong, something felt wrong. She wanted to work it out the only way she knew how; with music. Kaede sat back down and started playing again, absolutely going to forget to eat again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gettin' gay now :B


	8. A Vampire's Lair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the later update. Longer chapters take a lot more time to write, of course. Honestly, I'm not confident I will be able to keep up my every-Wednesday updates at this rate, but I will still try my best. We will see. Maybe I'll update my profile every day so people know can check how far along I am, since AO3 doesn't have a community page or anything.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's the second-longest chapter so far only by a page. Yes, I'm saying Kaede's eyes are blue and not purple. Yes, they're speaking in American dollars. Don't worry about that.
> 
> Mild horror near the end. It is the big section in italics.

On her computer in her room, Celeste played an instructional video on how to waltz, moving along with what their motions. If she had grown up in the way she dreamed of, she wouldn’t have to learn everything from a goddamn YouTube video.

She paused. Do people even go to balls anymore? Maybe there was a secret society of people that still held balls with one beautiful overseer that watched the event from afar like Jay Gatsby. Maybe they were a quiet, stoic man with an evil grin and emotional issues that secretly longed for love. Or perhaps a tall woman, seductive with piercing eyes and soft hands. _Or_ a brooding genius of neither gender with strong arms and aggressive tendencies. Whoever the person was, they would scan the dance floor for a potential wife, spot Celestia Ludenberg’s perfection, and immediately demand a dance. The two of them would grow closer, eventually marry…

Only for her lover to succumb to a mysterious illness the following day and die. Celestia Ludenberg would ‘mourn’ but be comforted by the luxurious estate they left behind.

That wouldn’t happen if she didn’t know how to dance.

She closed her eyes and imagined putting one hand on the dancer’s broad shoulder and entwining her other hand in theirs. When she opened her eyes, she looked at her nails.

Perhaps she should cut them down. No, she liked the claws. Hm. There were always fake nails. But that would take the joy out of painting them. On each nail, she saw a light pink line near her cuticle, evidence that they had grown. No suitor would fall for her if her nails weren’t right.

Yes, she should repaint her nails.

Turning off the video, Celeste sat down at her desk and pulled out a small vial of black nail polish and nail polish remover and began working.

A buzz on her phone startled her.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Hey! hows it going?

Kaede? What the hell did she want? Celeste had purposefully left Kaede hanging a few days ago so she would desire her more, but she had not expected the results to show up so quickly. Should she even bother texting back? If Kaede was going to be messaging her all the time, she severely regretted handing over her phone number. But if she wanted to create and keep a good relationship, Celeste should text back.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I am well.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Cool me too

How was she supposed to respond to that? Whatever. She won’t.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Wanna do something? ive been practicing la campanella all day and i should probably take a break lol

Was this another attempt to get her to join Kaede’s idiotic exercise group?

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I am busy painting my nails.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Neat! i dont really paint my nails cus i end up picking it off after a few days

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Youre probably really good at doing your nails huh?

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** The best.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Can you paint my nails? i think itll be fun! it would be like a sleepover but in the day time and no sleeping

Was Kaede seriously inviting herself? This was supposed to be Celeste’s time to herself.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** A young girl knocks on the door of a castle rumored across the town to house a blood-sucking demon. This is what you wish for?

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Lol sure edgelord

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** The line between bravery and stupidity is thin.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** So can i come over?

Celeste knew this wasn’t just typical girl bonding; this was an opportunity. The closer Celeste got to Kaede, the more likely she would agree to remain her servant.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Yes, you may. :-)

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Omg can you stop giving your smiley faces noses its really unsettling

By the time Celeste’s nails finished drying, there was a knock on the door. She opened it and was greeted by Kaede in her usual attire and backpack. Did she _need_ to wear it everywhere? She looked like a dork with both hands gripping the straps.

“Hiya!” Kaede said, entering without being granted permission first. She immediately took off her backpack and shoes and looked around. “Whoa, your room’s crazy. But, like, a cool kind of crazy.” With how much Kaede was looking around, Celeste wondered if Kaede asked _just_ so she could get inside her room. “What’s in the coffin?” She asked, eyeing the large, black box in the corner of her room.

“Nothing,” Celeste lied. “It is where I sleep during the day.”

Kaede looked back and forth between the coffin and the large bed in the center of the room. “Mmkay.” She clapped her hands together and faced Celeste. “Alright, I’m ready to—”

Suddenly, she let in a deep gasp. “A gramophone!” She had spotted the victrola on one of Celeste’s shelves and dashed towards it, practically shoving her face in the horn. “I’ve never seen one in real life!” she exclaimed, her voice echoing. “What do you usually listen to?” It was interesting physically seeing how jumbled her brain seemed to be.

“It changes with my mood but I regularly listen to Swan Lake before I go to bed.”

Kaede stared at the gramophone for a moment. “Were you listening to it when I first asked you to join training?”

“It is likely.”

“Oooooh, okay.” She laughed. “That’s why I associate you with it. I probably overheard it. Well, it still fits.”

Celeste gestured towards the table and chair in her room. “Am I going to do your nails or are you going to run around my room all day?”

“Oh, oh, right.” Kaede plopped down into the chair without a hint of grace.

Celeste walked over to her dresser. “What color would you like?”

“Pink! I love pink.”

“Unfortunately, I do not own pink nail polish.”

“Oh, what about orange?”

“No orange.”

“Purple? Or yellow?”

“None of that either.”

“What _do_ you have?”

Celeste picked up a singular bottle from her drawer. “I have black.”

“...Just black?”

“Yes.” Celeste sat down across from her.

Kaede squinted, “Why would you ask me what color I want if you only had black?”

“Hmhm. Give me your hand,” Celeste said, outstretching her arm on the table. When Kaede placed her hand in hers, Celeste felt her soft and gentle skin. Holding someone’s hand like this wouldn’t normally mean anything to her, but this was an Ultimate Pianist’s hand. Her fingers meant everything to her. Somehow, it felt like Kaede was entrusting Celeste with something intimate.

As Celeste began painting, skillful enough to complete an entire nail in two or three strokes, Kaede asked, “So, is this what you do all day? Paint your nails and make clothes?” Her voice was judgemental.

“I read.”

“You don’t practice your talent? That’s what the academy is for.” She sounded offended.

“Every so often,” Celeste switched fingers. “I get a tip from one of my many servants on when the next underground tournament is. Otherwise, I spend my days in peace. Gambling is a high-stress job. Without the worries of school, I have one less burden on my soul.” The truth was she only had _one_ paid servant who acted as both her informant and chauffeur. Perhaps she should pay him to be her bodyguard as well. As her money piled up, so did her enemies.

“You’d have less if you didn’t have a high-stress job,” Kaede frowned. “Maybe you can become the Ultimate Poker Player or the Ultimate Mahjong star instead!”

“You ask me why I do not practice my talent but then say I should not have my talent?”

Kaede shook her head. “That’s not what I mean. Gambling’s dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Why do you care if I get hurt or not?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” She said it like Celeste was a fool for asking.

“You care for someone you do not know?” She paused to look up at Kaede’s sweet and welcoming eyes.

“I know you. We’re friends.”

Celeste scoffed, “We are friends?”

Kaede dropped her shoulders. “Okay, I guess not, but I _wanna_ be.” She flashed a big, goofy smile.

Celeste rolled her eyes and continued on Kaede’s other hand.

With her voice calm and gentle, Kaede said, “But seriously, be careful, okay? If something bad happened to you, I’d be really upset.”

“I get the feeling you would be upset if anything bad happened to anyone.”

“Yeah, but… it’s different between us.” Kaede instantly shook her head. “No, nevermind. I don’t— I don’t know what I’m saying. Just forget I said that.” She let out a nervous laugh before setting her chin on her bicep. Slowly, Celeste watched Kaede’s face turn red. What the hell did she have to be embarrassed about? What a strange, awkward girl.

Kaede mumbled, “If you don’t practice your talent, you might fail the exams at the end of the year and get kicked out. I’ve heard they’re tough. I don’t want you to get kicked out.”

“Believe it or not, people do not wish to play any games with me, let alone gamble.” Celeste sighed. “It is the burden of being _too_ talented. Kyoko is the only person who is willing to challenge me, even if we are not wagering anything.”

“Aw, seriously? That’s sad. I’ll play something with you.”

Celeste blinked. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah! My dad and I used to play poker when I was little.” Hm. Celeste used to do the same thing. “We’d use his money so we weren’t actually risking anything.” Kaede sat up straight with a smug. “He said I was pretty good, heh heh.”

“You wish to gamble with me? _Again?_ ”

“In a _friendly_ competition. I’m not losing all my money to you.”

Finished, Celeste sat back. “What kind of poker did you and your father play?”

Kaede tilted her head, thinking. “Uh, the one with two cards.”

“Ah, Texas Holdem, the most popular variation.” Celeste rested her chin on the backs of her fingers. “I assure you I am very good. If you still wish to play, then I will. I have a deck of cards and chips we can use.”

“Hell yeah!” Kaede slapped her hands onto the table. “Let’s go! Ow…” She shook her hands, easing the sting.

Celeste stood up. “Allow me to relieve myself before we start.”

“Number one or number two?”

“Give me _five minutes_ ,” Celeste said, unamused at Kaede’s invasive question.

Kaede looked down and admired her nails. “Alright, cool. I’ll be here.”

Celeste turned and entered the bathroom.

How was Celeste going to beat Kaede? She’d need to come up with the right strategy. As she sat down, she thought of everything she knew about Kaede to figure out exactly how their game was going to play out and guarantee her win.

Generally intelligent; not a genius but not an idiot either. She should know how to play and be able to execute beginner to intermediate strategies despite not playing often. However, she _did_ make a foolish bet with the Ultimate Gambler. She should at least be aware of having a poker face.

Confident and determined. May bet higher than the average person, no matter what her cards are. Might take more risks.

Celeste heard music coming from her room. Her gramophone. That nosy girl couldn’t sit still for a minute without touching her things.

 _Impulsive._ Likely does not think before she speaks or acts. Smart enough to follow through with a strategy, but prone to reactions.

Stubborn. Once she is set on her strategy, it’ll be unlikely that she’ll change it.

Expressive and emotional. Easy to read. She crossed her arms when angry, held an arm when sad or upset, sat up straight when confident. Following her eyes wouldn’t help as what she is looking at doesn’t always match what she’s thinking. Watch her eyebrows; she moved them more than the average person. Unlikely that she will be able to _maintain_ a poker face.

Inattentive. Will probably focus more on herself than notice any subtleties in Celeste.

Strategy: fake tells and distractions. Kaede was smart enough to look for tells but was unlikely to find them. A well-timed fake tell will get her to rethink her play, but they need to be a little more exaggerated. Otherwise, Kaede might miss them.

With that settled, Celeste finished up, washed her hands, and exited the bathroom.

“Kaede, has no one ever told you not to touch other peoples—” Celeste’s heart dropped when she saw Kaede in front of her coffin.

Her open coffin.

Kaede stood over it, holding a book.

Not just any book.

Kaede slowly turned around with a ‘gotcha’ look on her face. “You’re…” She pointed to the eighth volume of _Death Note_ in her hands, “an otaku?!”

_FUCK!_

She had to come up with a lie _fast_.

“Hifumi had an excess amount of manga and asked me to hold onto it while he organized his room.”

Kaede squinted her eyes. “Uh-huh, uh- _huh_ , so he just happens to have a lot of gambling manga like,” She pointed to inside the coffin, “Kakegurui, Kaiji: Ultimate Survivor, Akagi— and he just _happens_ to give you Vampire Knight and Hellsing— _vampire_ manga too?!”

“He thought I would enjoy them despite me telling him several times that anime and manga is beneath—”

“ _Black Butler?!”_

“Can you mind your damn business!” Enraged, Celeste tried to grab the manga out of Kaede’s hands, but without shoes, Kaede was a little taller than her and used this to her advantage. She held the manga above her head so Celeste was unable to reach it. Kaede was strong too; she was able to press onto Celeste’s shoulders to keep her back. “Has no one ever taught you to not go snooping around other people’s things?!”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it, but oh my god, I can’t believe you’re an otaku. Do you know all the Naruto hand signs?”

“I do not! I am not an otaku!” _Fuck_ , Kaede was a lot stronger than she looked.

“Yeah, you are. Admit you’re an otaku.”

“I am not! Do not make fun of me!”

“Celeste, I literally—” Celeste jumped to try to get the volume, but Kaede still kept it away from her. “I literally don’t care what you like, but you _can’t_ be elitist and look down on me for liking the pictures when you like it too!”

Goddammit. She was going to have to accept defeat on this one. She was completely caught in a lie. She stopped trying to rush Kaede; it didn’t seem like she was going to mess with the book anyway. “Fine. Yes, I enjoy the artwork and stories. But that does not mean I am an otaku! I read books too; I simply appreciate good art as well. Do not associate me with those low-lifes!”

Kaede gave back the volume. “Don’t look down on people so much and you won’t feel this much shame. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You must not tell anyone.” She put _Death Note_ back into her coffin and slammed it shut.

“Sure, but I swear people don’t care.”

“If Hifumi or Tsumugi were to know, I would never hear the end of it. I cannot _stand_ otaku.” Shit. This was a good moment to plant a seed of her fake tells. Celeste yanked at a bundle of hair on the side of her face. “I simply want to enjoy something without listening to people’s stupid opinions on it. They annoy me deeply.”

“Alright, I get that. I won’t tell anyone. But you gotta stop telling people manga and anime are bad, okay?” She put her hands on her hips like a stern mother.

“Are we going to play poker or not?”

Kaede poked Celeste's shoulder. “Say you’re gonna stop saying manga and anime is bad.” Stubborn as expected.

“Yes,” Celeste sighed dramatically, “I will stop.”

“Good.” Kaede took her seat, triumphant in her win, and ready to move on. “I have a great poker face, you know.” Kaede grimaced, her eyebrows knitted firmly together as she frowned. It wasn’t a poker face at all. Was that the face she was going to keep up the whole time? Good lord, this was going to be easy.

Celeste brought out the deck of cards and poker chips she had just for an occasion like this. “Each chip,” She pulled out one of her skull and crossbones chips, “is worth a figurative thousand dollars.” She sat down, crossing her legs, and wiped away all emotion as she focused entirely on Kaede.

After letting Kaede deal the cards to assure her that she wouldn’t cheat, Celeste looked at what she had. A pair of fours. Pretty good, for now. Celeste set them face down on the table while Kaede continued to hold the cards in her hand and stare at them. Amateur.

Kaede noticed their difference but didn’t adjust herself, instead choosing to hold one finger high up in the air. “I’m betting…” She moved two chips forward, “two thousand dollars.”

Celeste wanted to scare her, to set the mood. “All in,” she said, putting all of her chips in the pot.

Kaede blinked, looking at the stack. “ _What?_ ”

“All in,” she repeated, this time more nonchalant.

“Really?” Kaede raised an eyebrow. “You’re saying your cards are _that_ good in the first round? We haven’t even flipped over the center cards.”

Celeste giggled, choosing not to speak.

“No,” Kaede refused. “No- _wuh._ ” She looked up at Celeste and tapped her fingers in the air, muttering to herself. There was no clear rhythm to the movement. What an interesting tell. What could that mean? Nervousness? “You’re lying. You don’t have good cards. You’re trying to trick me.”

“Put your money where your mouth is.”

“You want to win so badly, you’re willing to risk it all immediately?”

“I do enjoy winning.”

“Mmm…” Kaede grumbled as her arm started swaying along with her fingers. Was she seriously not aware of this obvious tell? “We aren’t playing for money, we’re playing for fun. Ending the game this early wouldn’t be fun at all. Unless you really want me to leave that badly.” Kaede quickly balled her free hand into a fist, not wanting to believe what she thought. “No, you don’t want me to leave. You don’t get to gamble with people a lot. You _want_ this to keep going. And I want to too.” She was really going to say everything that was on her mind, huh? Her dad must’ve let her win when they played. “I wanna get closer to you, Celeste, and not just because I want you to join our training team because I think you need friends. I think you’re genuinely a really cool person when you aren’t mean.”

Celeste did a fake yawn.

Kaede straightened her back. “And because I want the two of us to be friends—” She slammed her cards— two sevens— onto the table. “I fold.” She put her hands to her hips and showed a confident grin.

“You are so easily duped,” Celeste said, revealing her losing hand.

“Ha! I was right, you didn’t have anything good!”

Celeste pulled the chips back to her. “And now I am two thousand dollars richer.”

Kaede looked confused. “Huh? All that for two thousand dollars?”

“Hmhm. You underestimate me.” She picked up and shuffled the cards.

“Oh, I get it,” Kaede laughed. “Being dramatic is just your way of having fun. Like saying you’re a vampire.”

“I truly am a vampire, though.” Celeste dealt the cards for the next round. “However, I _am_ a Sagittarius sun and Scorpio moon sign. Dramatic jokes are my specialty.”

“You believe in all that stuff?” They both looked at their cards at the same time.

An eight of spades and a three of diamonds. Not good. One of the worst hands she could have. A quick glance at Kaede didn’t reveal anything positive or negative. Her eyebrows were fixed in place, but her fingers moved again. When Kaede finally looked up, Celeste leaned onto the arm of her chair and tugged on one of her hair strands without looking Kaede in the eyes. After showing her card at the end of the round, Kaede should start to associate that action with Celeste being upset, particularly when she had a bad hand.

“To an extent,” Celeste replied, hoping her fake motion was clear enough but not too obvious to set Kaede off. “Do I believe that there are cosmic powers that dictate aspects of our lives at birth? Yes. Should we revolve our lives around the readings and daily horoscopes of these powers? Probably not.” She bet one chip.

“Hmph. No offense, but all that supernatural stuff is bogus to me. Like—” Here we go. “Does it really make sense that planets or whatever make our personalities? You’re telling me that everyone born in the same month has the same personality? Even if that’s all nature, it completely ignores nurture and how people and events shape who we are and how we react to things. _And_ what gets me is that anyone can read the traits of any of the signs and relate to it because you’re _supposed_ to relate to it. They can’t say anything too specific or else it’ll make the people who are that sign feel like it’s inaccurate. People are complicated and can have different traits depending on the circumstance. In one place, someone can act like one sign but somewhere else, they can act like a different sign. Like, it’s impossible to accurately tell what sign someone is because personality is all over the place and every sign has aspects of anyone’s personality.”

Passionate. Bold. Confident. Says exactly what’s on her mind.

“Are you an Aries?” Celeste taunted.

Kaede’s face dropped.

“You are,” Celeste chuckled.

“Whatever.” Kaede put in three chips before crossing her arms.

After flipping over the first three community cards, Celeste still didn’t have anything better than a high eight. Kaede’s fingers still danced.

“Three thousand,” Celeste bet, playing with her hair again. She was going to play it safe for now. This round was just to get Kaede to believe her lie. Kaede matched her bet, twiddling her fingers again. It wasn’t until Celeste listened to the music playing that she realized Kaede was moving along with it.

Piano. She was playing piano in her head.

To any normal person, this would be a sign of distraction, but for an Ultimate Pianist, playing piano relaxed her and helped her focus.

“Do you wish to know which cosmic power _does_ control our lives?” Celeste asked, keeping Kaede unfocused on the game.

She huffed, still angry. “Sure.”

“Luck.”

Kaede narrowed her eyes, unbelieving.

“You see, in the gambling world, strategy will increase your odds of winning but it is luck that determines if you actually do.” Celeste flipped over another community card. Still nothing.

Kaede’s arms remained folded. Was she still upset about the Aries thing? Or was there something else? “You’re saying you became an Ultimate Gambler because you’re lucky?”

“I am. While you must do whatever it takes to win a game, luck is what determines our fate.”

“That’s not true,” she said, shaking her head. “You got here because you’re good at gambling, not because you’re lucky. People only get awarded an ultimate title after they’ve worked hard, aside from Ultimate Lucky Students, but that’s just to give people a chance when they normally wouldn’t.”

Now would be a good time to look more relaxed without it being seen as a tell. Celeste recrossed her legs. “Luck is life. It is built into every human at the moment of conception, like a computer program. While I do not consider any genes to be good or bad, some make one’s life harder than others and it is almost entirely determined by random chance. Consider the miracle of life. We have all of these studies and technology to keep a fetus alive but one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. Why? Because some people are simply unlucky.”

“Basing your life around luck sounds like you wanna be lazy. You’ll never achieve your dreams if you sit around expecting luck to just hand it to you. You have to work hard for it.”

“Is that what your mantra is? Following your dreams through hard work?”

“Doesn’t everyone follow that? Everyone dreams,” Kaede pointed to Celeste as if she was giving a big, motivational speech, “but they’ll stay dreams unless you do something about it. You already have everything you could want, right? I bet you have some crazy dreams.”

“Crazy?” Celeste covered her laugh with her hand. “I would not say so. I simply want a gothic castle away from society with vampire servants that do everything I tell them to without question.”

Kaede nodded her head sarcastically. “Yeah, that’s not crazy at all.”

“Throw in some creaky floors, candles instead of electricity, and a bedroom on the highest floor with a large window and you have paradise.”

“No music?” Kaede seemed saddened by why Celeste’s description was lacking.

This conversation was definitely going in the right place. “Perhaps I could sit by the window and listen to the light drizzle of rain. That would be soothing.”

Kaede’s face lit up. “You know, Chopin’s Prelude Op. 28 No. 15 is nicknamed ‘Raindrop’ because it sounds like raindrops to some people. I should play it for you sometime!”

“Are you trying to change my dream scenario?"

“No! I just think a little music might be nice.”

Celeste pretended that she had never thought of that before. “A piano does fit within the aesthetics of a European castle.”

“Whenever you get your castle, I’d be honored to play piano for you so your dream can come true!”

“Are you accepting the role of my dedicated pianist servant?”

“What?” Kaede was really shocked by that statement. “No, I’d just play for you sometimes! I can’t just play the piano for one person my whole life!”

“Tch, that is a shame.” Too soon. No matter, Celeste could wait for when the moment arrived again.

At the end of the round, Kaede was definitely able to make the connection between Celeste’s fake tell and her cards.

They continued playing, betting back and forth with Celeste touching her hair when she didn’t have a good hand and exhaling when she had a good one. By the time she was sure Kaede had picked up on it, she switched up the tells so whenever she had a good hand, she would mess with her hair. Along with reading Kaede, this strategy allowed Celeste to win a majority of Kaede’s chips.

And Kaede’s growing, competitive anger as well.

Celeste calculated that there was only one well-played round left. She peeked at her two cards. An ace and a jack. Both hearts. _Fantastic_ start. It almost couldn’t be better. By now, Kaede had to know that Celeste was using fake tells, so she went back to toying with her hair again. The two of them made hard eye contact with Kaede moving her fingers to the music. She saw it.

“Three thousand,” Celeste said, putting chips in the pot.

“Sure.” Kaede put in the same amount and flipped three cards from the deck. Ten of hearts. Four of clubs. King of hearts.

Oh, shit! With a queen of hearts, Celeste would have a royal flush; a guaranteed win. A quick glance at Kaede showed both her eyebrows up high on her forehead. She didn’t even try to hide it. It might not be that she had a good hand as she could just be reacting to the high cards that were just flipped over.

“I raise to four thousand,” Celeste calmly said.

“Five thousand,” Kaede raised with a grin. What could she have? A pair of kings? Three of a kind? Celeste didn’t have anything yet but was willing to keep going for that straight, flush, or royal flush.

“Five thousand it is,” Celeste sighed. She flipped over the next card in the deck. C’mon, queen of hearts!

Five of spades. Fuck.

“Ten thousand,” Kaede raised. Her grin was still there but her eyebrows were flattened. It was a bluff, a scare tactic. She didn’t have anything. Kaede probably thought she had a bad hand and, without a queen or another heart, she did.

“Ten thousand.”

Kaede’s eyes widened in shock. “Really?”

“Of course.”

Kaede folded her arms. Ha. “I know you don’t have anything. You should’ve folded.” She put her hand on the last card to be flipped. Anything with a heart suit would give Celeste a flush, making her highly likely to win. Queen of hearts. Queen of hearts. Queen of hearts. Queen of…

Ha ha. Ha ha ha!

_A royal flush!_

Now, to play this right and win.

“Ten thousand,” Celeste bet.

“All in,” Kaede said with confidence. The _idiot_. No matter what she did, she didn’t have the luck of the cards.

“Hm.” The win needed to be as dramatic as possible. “All in.” All of the chips were in the pot.

“What? Really?!”

“Did you expect me to fold?”

Right before Celeste flipped over her cards, Kaede held out her hand. “Wait. You said I should do whatever it takes to win, right?”

“That is how you gamble. However, there is nothing left for you to do.”

“Yes, there is. I’m gonna prove to you that luck doesn’t mean anything.” Kaede pulled out her phone and started typing something. Soon, she showed Celeste her phone screen. It was a text to a group chat called ‘Sidekicks’ that had not been sent yet that read:

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** I just found out that celestes an otaku lol

“Fold,” Kaede commanded with a hovered finger over the send button, “and I won’t send this message.”

She raised the stakes. “Are you… _threatening_ me?” Celeste asserted. What an amusing surprise. She was willing to bluff her way to the end, never wanting to give up. Classic Aries.

Kaede smirked. “I’m doing what you said to do.”

Celeste honed in on Kaede’s empathetic side. “You are aware that you are risking my entire reputation over a ‘friendly’ game of poker, yes?”

“Eh,” Kaede shrugged. “You’ll be alright. It’s just anime.” Right. Kaede thought she knew Celeste better than Celeste knew herself. That was why she kept trying to get her to exercise with her. Oh. This might not actually be a bluff.

Celeste giggled, trying to calm her fearful heart. “Who would you send this to?” She could feel the control slipping through her fingers.

“Shuichi, Kaito, Maki, and Mikan.”

Four people. Fuck. Shuichi was close with Kyoko, the last person she’d want to know. Kaito would probably run his mouth. That child caregiving bastard would stay quiet, but she didn’t need to have any leverage over Celeste. With enough pressure from Celeste’s enemies, Mikan would spill secrets in a heartbeat.

_Fuck._

The situation was starting to hit her. This wasn’t good.

“You wouldn’t do that. You are bluffing,” Celeste stressed. She didn’t want to believe sensitive Kaede would legitimately threaten her.

“You think so?” Kaede challenged.

Celeste stared at the person before her. Her eyebrows flattened with a scrunched nose. Her lips thinned into a wide grin with her chin up. Kaede’s broad shoulders were relaxed and her breaths were smooth and steady.

There wasn’t a shadow of a doubt in Kaede.

She knew Kaede was obscuring something inside her but Celeste didn’t expect it to be… this. That bubbly, sweet girl persona from a few days prior was wiped away. The goof that got adorably excited by talking about her passion was amazingly juxtaposed to… whatever this was.

Did she really care about other people? Maybe. But deep down, Kaede was selfish and _was_ willing to do things the average person wasn’t just to get her way. While Kyoko played against Celeste to test her own skills, Kaede wanted to win strictly because it was fun. She enjoyed the thrill of winning as much as Celeste did.

While Kaede didn’t have the skills necessary to beat Celeste, at their cores, the two of them were… equal.

With a long gaze into those intense blue eyes, Celeste’s heart fluttered as she felt it press a huge wave of hot blood throughout her entire body at once.

_Lightning crashes as the black sky pours down rain. It’s nearing midnight._

_A girl rushes to the large doors of a stone castle in the forest and shakes off her umbrella under the awning. She squeezes the rainwater out of her perfect, silky, blonde hair. Her pink vest and skirt are soaked. She’s happy to finally be out of the rain but she’s out of breath. The girl eyes the bat-shaped door knocker and uses it. To her surprise, the door was unlocked and it slowly creaks open. She reluctantly steps inside._

_“Hello?” the girl calls out. Her voice echoes through the wide lobby. She can barely see; only a few candles light the house. “Is anyone home?” She puts down her umbrella._

_The girl takes a few more steps inside. She jumps at a loud slam behind her. Turning around, she notices the front door has somehow closed itself. She grabs the doorknob but it won’t turn. She’s stuck here now. Her innocent, sapphire blue eyes show fear as a chill runs through her spine. There’s a noise coming from behind her._

_Click. Click. Click. Click._

_She doesn’t move._

_Click. Click. Click. Click._

_The girl recognizes the noise: high heels against a hard surface. There’s someone there._

_Click. Click._

_Slowly, she turns around to see a mysterious figure atop the staircase with one hand on the railing. The low lighting completely obscures the figure’s face but it is certainly another girl. The red high heels she wears along with the black stockings and long, black dress with a red rose on the breast makes that obvious. The intruder stares at the figure, particularly the rose, in awe. Never had she been blessed with a sight so beautiful. So beautiful that there is something about her, something about the rose, that draws her in closer. The girl takes a few more steps before speaking._

_“Hi, do you live here?”_

_The ghostly figure doesn’t respond. The haunting silence creates a pit in the girl’s stomach. Everything internal is screaming for her to leave immediately while everything external is telling her to stay._

_“I, um… I’m sorry to come in. Th-The door was unlocked and it’s… raining pretty hard out there. My car broke down and I’ve been walking forever in the rain and this was the first place I saw.” She entwines her fingers together, begging. “I was hoping… maybe… I’d find someone to help me…?” The girl has a weak smile on her face._

_From the figure’s top-down point of view, the intruder looks so small, so naive, so untouched by the world’s impurities, that she feels compelled to say something._

_“What is your name, darling?” the figure asks in a French-German accent._

_“Kaede.”_

_“Welcome to my home, Kaede.” She taps her fingernails on the railing. The sound emitted is much louder than expected. “I am Celestia Ludenberg. You may stay until the rain stops.”_

_“Oh, thank you, Ms. Ludenberg,” Kaede says, excitedly standing on her toes. “Thank you for your generosity!”_

_“I do have one condition for your stay.”_

_“Wh-What is it?” Kaede nervously asks._

_“You will serve me.”_

_The rose glows so brightly, it blinds Kaede for a second. Once her eyes adjust, she is compelled to say, “Yes, of course.”_

_The alluring Celestia Ludenberg turns her body, ready to return upstairs. “There are some spare clothes in the servants’ quarters. You will change into those.”_

_Kaede looks around. “You have other servants? Where are they?”_

_“Gone.”_

_“Oh. Well… how exactly can I serve you?”_

_Celestia Ludenberg giggles. “You may start by bringing a meal to my room.” With that, she headed towards her bedroom._

_Celestia Ludenberg’s room, lit by select candles, is on the highest floor of the castle. She rests casually onto her queen-sized bed, propped up on her side. She now wears a white nightgown. She gazes at the rain droplets that patter against a large window, the reflection of the water shining against her pale skin. She waits._

_She hears something in the distance, not from outside but from within her home. Honing in on the sound, she recognizes it as someone playing the piano ever so quietly. For a moment, Celestia Ludenberg listens, enchanted by the music. The song is calm, slow, and relaxing. Celestia Ludenberg is bewitched by the melody. It fits perfectly to the mood. Her breaths become drawn out as she feels herself becoming drowsy. Soon, her eyelids make contact as she begins to drift…_

_Until she realizes she doesn’t own a piano._

_Her eyes shoot open and she turns to her closed door, listening carefully without moving from her bed. Paranoia freezes her. The notes become more separated until the last press of a key is drowned out by the sound of the large clock in her room striking midnight._

_Her door suddenly swings open so fast that the wind snuffs out all the candles. The only thing illuminating the room is the faint blue moonlight creeping through the window. The door remains open, black as the void._

_Celestia Ludenberg can hear the creaking of the stairs in front of her bedroom getting louder and louder. Soon, it stops entirely. There’s something there. She can barely make out the entity approaching her, it’s hands in front of itself._

_“Has no one ever told you…” it whispers, “to never let strangers into your home?”_

_Lightning strikes with a loud boom and brightens the shape to momentarily reveal Kaede in a black, fitting suit with a grey tie and dress shoes. Her blue eyes are now blood red and her wide grin shows her canines are sharpened._

_Celestia Ludenberg gasps, unable to stop the speed at which Kaede sinks her teeth into her neck._

Celeste knew exactly what this was.

Raw. Unfiltered. Evil.

… 

_Holy shit._

With this realization, Celeste hesitated.

“Alright,” Kaede accepted. Her finger sped downwards toward the send button.

“ _No!_ ” Celeste screamed, standing up to reach across the table and grabbing Kaede’s hand before it made contact with her phone.

They looked at each other for a moment with Celeste letting out quick breaths she had been holding in.

“Dammit,” Celeste spat, realizing what she just did. She let go of Kaede and sat down, flipping over her cards. “You win.” She lost. She fucking _lost._

Kaede gasped. “I win?” Kaede pointed at Celeste’s royal flush. “Oooo!” She flipped over her own cards and slapped them hard on the table. A nine of spades and a queen of diamonds. “ _Oooooo_!”

How the _fuck_ did Celeste _lose_ ? With a _royal flush_ ? To a _pair of queens_ ?! _What the fuck_?!

“Hell yeah! Woohoo!” Kaede celebrated, pumping her fists in the air.

How could she lose?! Her luck was always on her side! _What happened_?!

“Congratulations,” Celeste said calmly with a smile.

AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

“I didn’t expect that to work!” Kaede admitted. “And you said you’ve never lost before right? _Hell_ yeah!”

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!_

Celeste played it off. “You do not have to rub it in. A sore winner is equally as bad as a sore loser.”

Kaede calmed down. “Oh, sorry. But, aw man, that was really fun! I see why you do this all the time.” Her face suddenly was plastered with concern. “Wait. You’re not, like, mad are you?”

Celeste shook her head. “Of course not. It is only a game.”

**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!_ **

“Oh, good,” Kaede breathed in relief. “It’s really not that big of a deal if people know you like anime, you know.”

“I would prefer it if you did not tell anyone. Nor would I like it if you told anyone of my defeat.”

“I think you care too much about that stuff. Relax a little! But alright, I won’t.” She was still hyped up with her win. “Man, we should do this more often!

Celeste shuffled the cards. “Indeed. Care for another game?”

Kaede looked at the clock. “Oh, shoot! I can’t right now.” WHY NOT?! “Tenko and Sakura are gonna have a martial arts battle and I’m late!” She got up and headed to the doorway to put on her backpack and shoes. “You wanna come with me?”

“No, thank you,” Celeste declined. “I much prefer” —BEING CONSUMED BY SHAME— “the peace and quiet of my room.”

“Aw, alright. I’ll see you later then?”

“You _will_.”

Kaede left with a stupid smile on her face.

WHAT THE _FUCK_ HAPPENED?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the mutual pining begin.


	9. Out of Tune

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Transitional chapter with jokes that probably wouldn’t translate if they were speaking Japanese.

Oh boy.

Here we go.

Leon was going to show up for their date soon and she had an article up on her phone titled ‘How To Prepare For Your First Date.’

Step One: Be clean.

Kaede had taken an extra shower and brushed her teeth again after lunch. The article called for her to wear perfume, but she didn’t own any, so she just put on her deodorant _really_ hard. Close enough. This is what she got for trying to prepare last minute.

Step Two: Look your best.

Luckily, she had already figured out her best, practical outfit a week prior— a polo and shorts. Celeste had generally liked it and with her high standards, it was probably fine for Leon too. She even tied her jacket around her waist. Celeste would be proud. Kaede’s makeup was done and her hair was brushed.

Step Three: Relax.

Was she supposed to be nervous? If anything, she was excited to play music with him. Oh, maybe the relaxation was to calm down excitement, not nervousness. Did people not like dating excited people? Sounded weird, but the article said to relax, so that was what she was going to do. Maybe she should meditate or something.

Kaede sat down on her bed, placed her feet flat on the floor, and rested her hands on her thighs. She closed her eyes, inhaled through her nose, and exhaled through her mouth. This was what her teachers in elementary school taught her to do when she wouldn’t sit still at her desk.

Inhale… 

Exhale… 

Inhale… 

Exhale…

Inhale…

Exhale… 

Yeah, that never worked. She got up and paced around the room, stretching her fingers and wondering what songs they were going to play.

Wait. She was supposed to be excited to see _him_ , Leon specifically, not just to play music with another person.

Whatever. Those nervous, first date butterflies in her stomach would show up later.

Eventually, there was a knock on her door. She ran up to it and swung it open to see Leon with a guitar case slung around his body.

“Hiya!” she greeted.

“Hey!” He looked down at her with a confused look on his face. “Huh. I didn’t expect you to wear something like that.”

“Is there something wrong with what I’m wearing?” Aw, man, did she mess up her first date already?!

“No, no, I just, uh…” He rubbed the back of his head. “Usually, girls don’t wear polos and shorts on dates.” She wasn’t wearing what girls usually wore? Did other girls put more thought into their clothes than Kaede did? Or was it… 

Kaede put her hands on her head. “Shoot! Did I read the wrong article?!”

“Article?”

“Uh, nevermind. Did you want me to go change?”

Leon shook his head. “No, you look great! Caught me off guard, that’s all.” He moved the guitar strap aside to show off his shirt. “You like my shirt? I made the design, heh. Pretty _sick_ , right?” Kaede looked at the skull design on his shirt.

“Oooo, cool!” she admired. “Celeste sews her own clothes too!”

“It’s just an iron-on.”

“Oh.” Kaede backed up. “Graphic design is still cool and a really neat skill to have! I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. Why the skull?”

Leon raised two tightly clenched fists. “‘Cus skulls are awesome! Once I get a band together, this design’s gonna be everywhere!”

“Like that cool S people always draw?”

“I’m thinking more like Nirvana or the Rolling Stones, but that too!”

“Well, you can’t start a band if you don’t play music. Let’s go!” Kaede stepped past him and walked in the direction of her research lab.

“Whoa, you walk fast. Are we racing?” Leon joked.

Kaede stopped and looked back at him. With both of their faces going blank, Kaede’s natural playfulness and Leon’s sporty attitude combined to create…

Competition.

As soon as Kaede turned her foot, they both made a beeline to the Ultimate Pianist lab.

Pushing out the dormitory at the same time, Leon had the advantage of being fit, especially with baseball being a sprinting sport, but had the disadvantage of the heavy guitar around them. Kaede’s headstart didn’t do much, but _skrrt_ ing around tight corners kept them at an even pace. Whenever they were near each other, they would lightly and playfully push each other to try to get ahead. In the end, it was the Ultimate Baseball Star that reached the lab first.

They both laughed as they caught their breaths; Kaede breathing much harder than he was.

“Man,” Leon expressed, “I haven’t run like that in a while.”

“I have!” She used her last bit of energy to dash up to the grand piano and sit on the bench. She played a couple of chords to start getting her fingers moving. “What song are we gonna play? Do you know any Romantic music?”

He leaned on the base of the piano. “Like ‘Something’ by the Beatles?”

Kaede kept playing. “I don’t think anything by the Beatles is Romantic.”

“No, not anything, ‘Something.’ The song’s called ‘Something.’”

“Ooooooh. No, no, no, I don’t mean romantic, I mean Romantic, though there _are_ romantic Romantic songs. We can play romantic Romantic songs too!”

Leon blinked.

“...Romantic era songs that are about romance,” Kaede made clear. “Like Chopin’s Nocturne Op. 9, No. 1 in B flat minor.”

“ _Ooooooooh._ ”

“ _Yeaaaaaah._ Well, technically Chopin’s Nocturne Op. 9, No. 1 in B flat minor isn’t about romance, but I think it can be.”

“Don’t worry about ‘Knock Turn Up Nine’ whatever. How about I play something for you first!” Leon pulled out a bright red, shiny electric guitar from his case.

Disappointed, Kaede asked, “What song are you gonna play?”

“A song from a band you’ve probably never heard of.” He looked pretty cocky.

“Try me. I know a lot about all kinds of music.”

“You ever heard of Green Day? They’re American.”

“...Yes, I know Green Day.” Kaede rolled her eyes. “They’re really famous.”

“Sweet! I’m gonna be singing and playing ‘American Idiot’ for you.” He plugged in the guitar into Ibuki’s amp in the corner of the room. “Alright, ladies and— Uh, it’s just you.” He cleared his throat. “ _Alright_ , Kaede. Are. You. READY!”

Kaede clapped. “Woo!”

Leon raised his guitar pick in the air and slammed it down onto the strings. Uh oh. He played the wrong chord. He looked down in shock. “Wait, hold on.” He played another wrong chord. “Wait, hold on.” He played the same wrong chord. “Wait, hold on.”

“It starts with…” Kaede took a moment to remember how the song went. “G sharp, right?” She pressed the G sharp key on the piano.

“No, A flat.”

“G sharp and A flat are the same thing. Here, I’ll play it again.” She pressed the same key.

He played the wrong chord. “Wait.”

“I think it’s out of tune.”

“No, no, I got it.”

“Play A flat again?” He played the chord that was supposed to be A flat but it wasn’t. “It’s out of tune,” Kaede said again, standing up. “Here, let me see.”

Leon pulled back. “You know how to play the guitar?”

“No, but I know when something doesn’t sound right. I’ve been playing music my whole life.” After he reluctantly handed his guitar to her, she turned a dial on each string, setting the note right. “Once you get enough practice as a musician, you’ll learn the notes.” While she had the guitar, she thought of the other notes in the song. Since one string was out of tune, the other ones probably were as well. Back and forth, he would play a chord and she’d fix it. Eventually, Kaede gave him back the guitar with a smile. “Okay, try it again!”

He took in a deep breath. “Are—”

“Woo!”

“You—”

“Woohoo!”

“RRRRRRRREADY!”

“YEAH!” Kaede pumped her fists in the air.

While the guitar was in tune, Leon still wasn’t playing the right notes and Kaede could tell with the embarrassed look on his face that he knew it too. She continued to cheer him on and tapped her foot to the imaginary beat, helping him follow along. With growing confidence, he started over the song and sang along. He still sounded… off, but he built up his charisma to play as hard as he could. To Kaede, it didn’t matter how ‘good’ the player sounded, as long as they were passionate, she liked it.

Unfortunately, there was one word he sang that Kaede didn’t know was in the song. She must’ve always listened to the clean version because she never knew the slur was in it. Immediately, her stomach dropped when that word was said. Other slurs made her angry, but there was something about that specific word that instilled terror instead.

When he was finished, Leon asked confidently, “You liked that?”

Normally, she’d tell him he couldn’t say that word, but fear of the outcome overwhelmed her. “I loved it! Woooo!” She put up the ‘rock-on’ hand sign. Kaede looked up at the bits of black polish on her fingernails.

She wondered what Celeste was doing.

“Look, Celeste painted my nails black the other day. I’ve got the punk look now!”

Leon laughed. “I wouldn’t say painting your nails is the look, but you’re on your way! If we get you a denim jacket with some anarchist patches, maybe. Or if you listen to my sick guitar solos, you’ll be ready for a revolution!” Whoa. Kaede didn’t know about _that._ ”Technically, I’d be the lead singer in my band,” Leon continued, “but knowing how to play guitar is a sweet bonus. I don’t even _need_ to play baseball anymore!”

“What? But you’re the Ultimate Baseball Star. Why wouldn’t you want to play baseball anymore?”

“Tell me: Would girls rather date a musician or a baseball player?”

Kaede shrugged. “I don’t speak for all girls.”

“Who would _you_ rather date?”

A musician, but that didn’t prove her point. “I’d rather date someone that follows their passion. It doesn’t matter what they do, as long as they love doing it. If you’re passionate about music, then do music. Same with baseball. One of them can be a hobby so it doesn’t mean you have to completely quit one. Like Celeste! Did you know she makes her own clothes?”

Leon looked agitated. “Yeah, you told me already.”

“Oh. She seems really good with her hands. Do you think she’d be any good at piano?” Kaede put her hands on the piano, imagining what it would be like for the two of them to play together.

He crossed his arms. “Why do you keep talking about Celeste?” He didn’t add ‘We’re supposed to be on a date,’ but it was implied.

Kaede frowned. “I’m sorry. We’ve been hanging out a lot and I keep thinking about her. B-But not anymore!” She was supposed to be focusing on the date, but her mind kept wandering to other people. Crap, when was she going to start feeling something for him? She slammed her hands on the keys. “Let’s play something together now! What are we gonna play?!”

Leon jolted back at Kaede’s sudden outburst. “You good?”

Kaede toned it down. “Yeah, I just really, really wanna play a song with you.”

“Oh, heh heh. I gotta give the ladies what they want, of course,” he blushed. “Do you know any songs by The Misfits?”

“The who?”

“No, not The Who, the Misfits. Let me show you one of their songs.” He pulled up ‘Cough/Cool’ on his phone. “These guys might be a little scary for you.” Leon sat next to Kaede on the piano bench. “But it’ll be okay. I’ll hold you if you get scared.” He played the song and Kaede listened to the details of every note, memorizing it to figure out how she could play it.

It wasn’t until the song ended and she tried to lift her arms that she realized Leon had his arm behind her back and around her waist. Oh, right. Date. She reciprocated by giving him a quick hug back.

Anyway. Music. “Okay!” she exclaimed before letting go. “I think it goes like this.” She played the repeating melody. “I might need to improvise a bit but I think I got it!”

Leon picked up his guitar again. “I’ll be on vocals and guitar!”

The song was… it was a song. Leon definitely had more passion than she did, but Kaede was hitting the notes. The contrast between the two of their skill sets was clear…

But whatever! It was still fun!

While Kaede would rather practice one song to get better at it, Leon seemed to want to show off different songs that he ‘could’ play. In two hours, Kaede had learned about twenty different punk songs she’d never heard of. She didn’t relate to the rebellious energy they all riled up, but she could appreciate it.

But where the hell was that spark she was supposed to feel?

Eventually, they called it quits and Leon walked Kaede back to her room.

“I had a great time!” Leon outstretched his hand to lean on the wall.

“Yeah, me too.” Kaede was ready to go into her room, but the air was weird and awkward like something was unresolved.

“You really know your stuff, huh?”

“Yup! Probably wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, haha.”

Silence. Leon had something to say but was holding back.

“Um… so…?” He straightened himself, took his hand off the wall, and swung his arms back and forth.

“So…?”

Leon looked left and right, seeing if anyone was around. It was just the two of them. “Would it be weird…” He ran his fingers through his hair. “...if I kissed you right now?”

“Oh! I— um…” She twiddled her thumbs, unsure of what to do. “No, I-I guess it wouldn’t be _weird_. That’s a… normal thing to happen at a time like this.” She let out a nervous laugh that he copied.

He raised his eyebrows and shoulders. Kaede would find it cute if she could just… just _something._ “Can I?”

She wanted to like him. She really did. He was a cool guy and while they had different music tastes, they were similar. If Kaede had a ‘type,’ she’d imagine that it would be him. Kaede could easily see them together taking casual walks, making music, her cheering on his baseball games if he chose to play sports again.

But could she _feel_ them together?

She wanted to. She wanted to feel a connection beyond friendship. She didn’t want to reject him either. Kaede was a people pleaser and wanted to make him happy. Seeing other people happy always filled her with joy. Maybe she could translate that joy into affection.

All she desired was to feel something towards him, so she exhaled, “Yeah.”

“Heh, awesome.” He took a step closer. Kaede’s instincts told her to back away but she shoved that down and was ready to face this head-on. He leaned down; she didn’t move, bracing for impact and ready to finally feel what other people felt. When his lips made contact with hers…

Nothing. She didn’t feel anything. No sparks, no butterflies, no _music_ played in her head _._ It was as if she had kissed her arm that tasted like second-hand potato chips.

The kiss only lasted a second or two and once he pulled back, he let out a happy sigh. “Whew! That was hot!” He was feeling what Kaede was supposed to feel.

“Uh-huh,” Kaede lied.

“I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah.”

When he walked away, Kaede dashed into her room and slammed the door behind her.

Why? Why couldn’t she feel anything? Why didn’t she _ever_ feel anything towards boys? How many times had she been around other girls who fantasized about dating that she could never relate to? So many girls at her old school probably dreamed about dating a star baseball-player-turned-musician and Kaede _had_ that but what she wanted wasn’t there. Half of pop songs were about love and she longed to understand. She yearned to love like everyone else but just couldn’t feel it.

What was wrong with her? How could she feel every emotion so strongly but never love beyond familial and friendship? Was she too shallow? Too picky? Was there something wrong with her brain, like some love chemical that everyone else had but she didn’t?

Her head was broken, her heart was broken, _she_ was broken. Things were going relatively well on the date but there was something inside of her that wouldn’t let her feel attraction. She wanted to connect with someone while cuddling under a blanket, dance to romantic music together, hold hands while walking through a museum. She wanted to grow old with someone, to marry them and have kids, to build a life together. But she couldn’t have that. She was out of tune with the rest of the world.

Kaede collapsed onto her bed and cried.


	10. 8 1/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was originally supposed to be three chapters. This and chapter 8 were actually the first chapters I wrote and were going to be the first and second chapters. Chapter 8 turned out differently but ended ultimately the same while this one is pretty much the same, just more relevant to the rest of the story and overall… more. I’ve been WAITING to upload this chapter since I first started uploading this fic.

How did Kaede beat Celeste at gambling?

Kaede’s luck couldn’t have surpassed Celeste’s; she didn’t win with luck. She had a strategy. A strategy that shouldn’t have fucking worked! Celeste had been blackmailed before; her life had been threatened several times as well but she was always able to hold her ground. She was no stranger to pushing fear aside.

Then why had the fear consumed her that day?

Celeste must’ve miscalculated her. Kaede’s aggression was unexpected, so Celeste hesitated, giving Kaede a free chance to act when normally, Celeste would’ve been able to use her wit to talk her out of it. Something inside of her needed to be adjusted if she was to continue calling herself an Ultimate Gambler.

After a depressing week where Celeste spent all of her time crying, overeating, sleeping the days away, crying some more, and hating every fiber of her being, she was ready to face Kaede and enact revenge.

...From a distance.

First, she had to pinpoint exactly what went wrong. Clearly, she didn’t get an accurate opinion of Kaede by interacting with her, so observing her from far away would be better.

Celeste knelt behind a large shrub in front of the main academy building. The darkness of night was able to keep her hidden with the black clothes she normally wore, but the late June flowers that bloomed on the plants were extra security. Between the leaves and branches, she eyed Kaede, Shuichi, and that bitch stretching together in the courtyard wearing gym clothes. She couldn’t make out the details of their faces but Kaede at least seemed like she was having a good time.

When Kaito arrived, he and Kaede immediately got into a physical fight with Kaito tackling Kaede to the ground. Yeesh. Did they hate each other? Maki and Shuichi did nothing to stop them. Despite several openings on both Kaito and Kaede, neither of them made a final blow.

Oh. They were play-fighting. Wrestling, actually. Was this what they did almost every night?  _ This _ was the training group Kaede wanted Celeste to join? What a bunch of losers.

They did seem like they were having fun, though.

Of course, this was what idiots did. Celeste was much more sophisticated than that. She had intense battles of the  _ mind _ with games like Othello and mahjong. She held  _ intellectual _ and  _ philosophical _ conversations with Gonta. Well, they were more hollow than she’d hope since Gonta wasn’t the brightest bulb and it was mostly her lecturing him without receiving any feedback.

Now that she thought about it, Gonta was really the only person she talked to. Most of the school feared her, Kyoko hated her, Kirumi was just a servant, and she banished Hifumi. Despite their emptiness, her semi-servant relationship with Gonta was the only relationship she had with any of her peers.

Besides whatever she and Kaede were doing. Kaede seemed to think they were friends but she had to know that wasn’t true. They were trying to trick each other, both constantly trying to get the upper hand. Kaede had it now, but after some observation while in stealth mode, Celeste could gain it back. In the long run, Kaede wouldn’t be able to outsmart her but the battles were at least entertaining; they were the only things filling her lonely existence.

But being alone was good. It was Celeste’s destiny to be alone for the rest of her life. Just her and servants.

Alone.

Celeste felt a warm gust of wind hit the side of her neck, only it took not even a second to realize it wasn’t wind, but breath.

With a startled, sharp inhale, she turned to her left to have her nose collide with someone else’s, and the only things she saw were two big, black pupils.

“ _ I caught you! _ ”

Celeste let out a high-pitched scream, jumping backward with her arms flailing until she fell flat on her back. “Goodness  _ gracious,  _ Mikan!” Celeste stressed, putting a hand to her chest as she breathed rapidly, her heart pounding so hard that she could practically hear it.

“I’m so sorry!” Mikan held out her hand, her character shifting in an instant. “Are you okay?!”

Celeste stood up on her own, wiping the grass off of herself. “Why in  _ God’s _ name were you so  _ close _ to me, you weasley vermin?!”

“I wanted to know why you were crouched behind the bushes!” Mikan started sobbing, snot and tears pouring out of her like a fountain. “I’m sorry, please forgive me! Forgivemeforgivemeforgivemeforgive—”

Celeste quickly put her hand over Mikan’s mouth. “Shh! Be quiet before somebody—”

“Is that Celeste?!” She heard Kaede’s voice call out. “Hey! Heeeeey! Celeeeeeste!” Celeste rotated to see Kaede in the distance, jumping up and down and using big motions to wave her arm like an idiot.

Son of a  _ bitch. _

Kaede ran up to Celeste and Mikan, eyes wide and glowing bright with joy. Celeste had to take a step back as Kaede skid to a halt, otherwise, she’d crash right into her. “You came! You finally came to training— Do you like my shirt?” She held out the hem of her tank top, showcasing the ‘Yeah, I’m Into Fitness. Fitness Whole Pizza In My Mouth’ lettering. Stupid.

“Ah, there has been a misunderstanding.” She obviously couldn’t admit that she was watching, probably legally stalking Kaede. Celeste tapped her right earring with her finger. “You see, I lost a precious earring earlier this morning. Fortunately, I was able to locate it. This is why I am out here at this time as I have been searching for it all day.”

Kaede squinted her eyes and put her hands on her hips. “You found it behind a bush?” She didn’t believe her.

What kind of lie would be convincing? “I did. I visited Gundham today and it was after I left that I realized my earring was gone. When I returned to him, he stated that if I did not find it, then it is possible an animal took it and hid it in a den or a nest. After some searching, I found it here.”

Mikan shouted, “ _ Liar! _ ”

Celeste and Kaede stared at her with wide eyes. What was wrong with this girl?

“Uh— I-I mean, I think Celeste is lying. Gggggh,” Mikan gurgled like static on a television. “She’s rich, so she could— if-if-if she wanted to, she could buy new earrings, gggggh.” Uch.

“Mikan’s right,” Kaede said.

“I am?”

“Mmhm.  _ I  _ think,” Kaede poked her finger onto Celeste’s shoulder, “you were spying on us.”

“ _ Spying _ ?” Celeste pretended to be shocked. “Such a horrible, dirty accusation. What makes you think you would be doing anything worth spying upon?”

“You wanna join our training team but you’re too shy to confront us.” Good for her for only seeing the best in people. So naive. “It’s okay, you don’t need to be nervous. C’mon!” Without giving Celeste a chance to respond, Kaede aggressively latched onto her wrist with the tight grip of a baby and sprinted towards the courtyard. “Mikan, let’s go!” She called back.

“Coming!” Mikan said, following behind.

“H-Hey!” Celeste exclaimed as she was being dragged behind Kaede.

When they reached the courtyard, Kaede grinned at Kaito, Maki, and Shuichi. “Look, Celeste is here!” She swung Celeste’s arm back and forth, still holding on. As painful as Kaede’s grasp was, Celeste didn’t feel the need or desire to tell her to let go. It wasn’t that bad letting Kaede swing her arm like that. There was a peaceful rhythm to it, like a metronome, and the motion was kind of soothing.

No. Peace and comfort was the same as letting her guard down. She shook Kaede off of her.

“Well, look who finally decided to show up!” Kaito said.

Shuichi waved at her without saying anything, clearly frightened of her presence.

“What are  _ you _ doing here?” Maki growled with clenched fists.

“Me?” Celeste lifted a ‘surprised’ hand to her mouth. “I was invited. It would be rude to turn down an invitation.”

“That was a month ago,” Maki declared. She pointed at the entrance to the academy. “The invitation’s void. Get out of here before I break you.”

Kaito placed a hand on Maki’s shoulder. “ _ Whoa! _ Whoa, whoa. Hold on, Maki-Roll. Showing up late is better than not showing up at all.”

“...Maki-Roll?”

Kaito continued. “I’m happy Celestia showed up and you should be too.”

Shuichi raised an unbelieving eyebrow. “Are you really training with us, Celeste?”

“Oh, absolutely not,” Celeste laughed. “As I told Kaede before, I am not one for…” She made circles with her wrist, searching for the right word. “...moving. However, I will be cashing in my invitation by sitting over here and watching.” She sat down carefully onto a nearby bench, crossed her legs, put her hands on her knees, and smiled. “Hmhm. Carry on.”

Kaede stared at Celeste with her arms folded, fingers tapping her bicep as she thought.

“Fine,” Maki said, “but you keep your mouth shut and you stay where you are, got it?”

“Are you trying to sound tough by repeating what I already said?” Celeste taunted. “I made it clear that I would not be moving and I will only watch, not speak.” She covered her grin with the tips of her fingers. “Are you perhaps insecure about your physical weaknesses and fear my judgment?”

“No, I’d just rather pretend you weren’t here.”

Kaede looked confused. “What’s your guys’ problem?”

Neither of them spoke. Their hostility for each other was difficult to describe and justify.

Kaito yelled, “Doesn’t matter! After a while, Celestia and Maki-Roll will get along.”

Celeste shook her head. “I expect this to be a one-time thing. I will not be returning. And you may call me Celeste.”

Maki huffed. “Kaito, what are we doing tonight? And quit calling me Maki-Roll.”

Kaito slammed his fists together. “Fifty push-ups!”

Mikan dropped her shoulders and sighed. “Push-ups again? Kaito, if we want to have healthy bodies, we need to be doing more than rotating between five exercises.”

Maki crossed her arms. “I think it’s kinda obvious by now that training isn’t about being healthy, it’s about supporting each other as a team.”

Everyone stared at Maki.

“What?” She bashfully played with one of her twin-tails. “Kaito would’ve said the same thing…”

Kaede agreed. “Maki’s right, but I don’t mind doing push-ups all the time. I’m gonna get the arms of a silverback gorilla! Look!” She ran up to Celeste and sat close to her, so close that their thighs connected. She flexed one of her arms. “Don’t you think I’m already on my way there?” She had a goofy smile on her face, one that definitely wanted Celeste to feel her muscle. What a stupid request.

…Eh, there was no harm in it. Celeste squeezed Kaede’s flabby bicep. “Oooo!” she exaggerated. “So  _ strong _ !”

“Haha, thanks,” Kaede blushed, not catching Celeste’s sarcasm. Celeste felt the urge to twist a knuckle into one of the dimples Kaede’s smile created.

Where the hell did that thought come from?

“Are you suuure you don’t wanna train with us?” Kaede held onto Celeste’s arm the same way she did when Kaede was escorting her. “You have tiny, tiny, twig arms and fifty push-ups honestly isn’t that bad. And, as Maki said, I’d support you if you needed help.” She paused for a moment. “I mean we! We’d support you!” She stood up, yanking Celeste to come with her. “So, c’mon!”

“And  _ sweat _ ? I do not think so.” She ripped her arm away and sat back down.

Kaede put her fists on her hips again. “It’s sweat. You can shower afterward,” she persuaded.

“I do not know if you have noticed,” Celeste pointed towards her shoes, “but I am wearing high-heels. I cannot work out in high-heels.”

“Duh, just take them off.”

“My stockings will get dirty.”

“Wash them.”

“You expect me to roll around in the grass where the bugs are? Or press my hands into the gravel and ruin them?”

“Whine, whine, whine.” Kaede took a few steps closer. “Sounds like you don’t wanna admit you can’t do push-ups.”

Normally, it wouldn’t bother Celeste if someone stood over her like Kaede was, but Kaede was different. To stand over someone was an act of intimidation; a power play. Kaede already had the upper hand in their manipulation game and she was  _ flaunting  _ it, whether she realized it or not. Celeste wasn’t having it.

But there was something about Kaede’s sudden intensity that gave Celeste intrusive thoughts like the ones she had during their poker game.

No, Kaede wasn’t  _ fucking _ going to control her mind!

“There is nothing I cannot do if I so desire,” Celeste said with confidence.

“It’s okay to admit there are things you can’t do,” Kaede said with a smile. “No one’s perfect.”

“I am. Look at me.” Celeste made various voguing poses, emphasizing her face. “Am I not the epitome of perfection?”

“Didn’t I say not to talk?” Maki butted in.

God, what a _bitch_! “Excuse me but can you _not_ see that I am in the middle of a conversation with Kaede? It would be rude to not respond and unlike _some_ people out here, _I_ was born well-mannered.”

Mikan squealed. “I’m sorry! I’ll look up books on manners and read them every day!”

Shuichi leaned over to her and whispered, “I don’t think she’s talking about you.”

Maki glared at Celeste, her hatred bleeding through her tough-acting exterior. “You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You aren’t used to having to work at all in your life. You can’t even exercise because it’s too much work for you and you’d probably get other people to do it for you if you could. It’s people like you that make others do stupid labor for you that makes the world a sick place.”

Surprisingly, Kaede said nothing, waiting for Celeste’s response. Shit, did Kaede  _ want _ Celeste to respond? She planned on simply laughing it off but if the audience wanted a show, who was Celeste to not give a fan what she wanted? Rage was already building inside her, so it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if she let some of it out.

“You are damn right!” Celeste bolted up and got in Maki’s face. “You are damn right. If I could tear out your tendons and attach them to my own and make you move for me and transport me like a chariot’s horse, I would. Because that is what all you peasants are to me: filthy animals to be used to make  _ my _ life easier.”

Kaito moved in to try to calm them down. “Hey, guys, maybe—” but Kaede stuck her hand up, signaling him to stay silent, watching carefully how the event would play out.

“Even still,” Celeste continued, “I am better than you in every way; in talent, in looks,  _ certainly _ —” Celeste never actually took the time to get a good look at Maki beyond her face but she didn’t need to. She knew she looked better than her.

“You think you could beat her at fifty push-ups since you’re better than her at  _ everything _ ?” Kaede finally said.

Celeste turned to Kaede, who had a smirk on her face, one Celeste couldn’t wait to wipe off. She couldn’t remember the last time she did push-ups, but they couldn’t be  _ that  _ hard. Plus, Kaede would certainly find it impressive if she could.

No. Celeste didn’t want to impress Kaede. She wanted to see the look on her face when she proved herself.

At least that was how Celeste justified it.

“Guaranteed,” Celeste replied. She knew this was just another attempt to get Celeste to join. Celeste wasn’t  _ stupid _ , after all. “When I win, you will stop bothering me about this group and I never have to return.”

“And if you lose, you train with us until you can beat Maki at fifty push-ups.” Kaede held out her hand to shake. “Deal?”

The third bet. A tiebreaker. This was Celeste’s chance to regain her power from Kaede.

If she wasn’t staring deeply into Kaede’s challenging eyes, maybe Celeste would’ve noticed that Maki was the fittest person in the group.

If she wasn’t so caught up in ‘proving herself’ to Kaede, maybe Celeste would’ve heard Kaito say, “Ooooh, I see what you’re doing, Kaede,” and Mikan go, “This is going to be bad. This is going to be really, really bad.”

If she wasn’t so infatuated with Kaede’s strange intensity, maybe Celeste would’ve taken the time to think through what she was doing.

“Deal,” Celeste said, clapping her hand into Kaede’s.

“Hey!” Maki remarked. “I didn’t agree to this.”

Kaede blinked, just now realizing she hadn’t taken into account Maki’s willingness to participate. She walked up to her and held both of Maki’s hands. “Please, Maki?” she said softly.

“No. I don’t want her here.”

Kaede tightened her grip, pouting with disappointed eyes and sad eyebrows. “But we’re a team. We support each other.” The next thing Kaede said was too quiet for Celeste to hear but reading her lips, it seemed like Kaede said, “This is all I’ve wanted.”

Maki grimaced, refusing to look into Kaede’s manipulative and pleading eyes.

“We’re a team,” Kaede whined, tilting her head to get back in Maki’s view.

Maki snatched her hands back. “Ugh. Fine. I’ll do it,” she growled.

“Yay!” Kaede wrapped her arms around Maki, pressing her cheek against hers in a tight hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I owe you one!”

“I hate you, Kaede.  _ Get  _ off me.”

Celeste took off her shoes and dropped them into Shuichi’s hands without warning. Being a mule was all he was good for anyway. Both she and Maki stepped onto the disgusting grass and got into position.

“Alright,” Kaito yelled. “Prepare yourselves for an epic battle, Celestia vs. Maki-Roll! Get ready, you two.”

Celeste knew she was likely to struggle with fifty pushups, but she doubted Maki could do any faster than her. Even if Maki had some practice every night, Celeste could just do smaller, quicker pushups to speed things up. It’s not cheating if it’s just a short pushup.

“I feel like…” Kaede slapped her hands together. “Chopin’s Etude Op. 10 No. 4 would be perfect for this moment!”

Kaito raised a hand in the air. “On your mark.”

Celeste looked over at Maki. She was as stoic as ever and looked forward, her breath steady and calm. Celeste was determined to win. Luck was on her side. Maybe Maki would collapse at thirty, giving Celeste the ability to pass her if she moved faster than her.

“Get set.”

Celeste could already feel her arms start to shake.

Kaito swung his hand down. “Go!”

_ Oh, fuck. _

As soon as Celeste went down, she was hit with a horrible realization: she wasn’t strong enough to push herself back up. Meanwhile, in the corner of her eye, she could see Maki going up and down like a machine. She knew fifty pushups were a lot, but she had no idea she couldn’t even do one.

Mikan counted Maki’s push-ups. “Seven, eight, nine—”

What the hell did Celeste get herself into?!

She wasn’t going to lose. She  _ couldn’t _ . Not  _ again!  _ To lose is one thing but to be utterly humiliated by having five people watch her fail was worse.

With building determination and a grunt, she used all her might to push herself up.

“One!”

Celeste looked up at Kaede, who was counting her pushups. She had her hands pressed against each other over her mouth with a large grin.

That  _ bastard! _

She knew. Kaede knew she couldn’t win. She knew the whole time and she  _ planned _ for this to happen. Somehow, Kaede outsmarted her.

How could Celeste let this happen? Why couldn’t she see through those evil eyes? Those evil, beautifully ocean blue—

“Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three—”

_ Fuck! _ Celeste had to get moving. She looked back at the ground, fuming with rage that pumped through her arms. She couldn’t look at anyone, she had to focus.

“Two! Three! Four! Five!”

Her arms started to wobble from the burning sensation she was feeling.

“Thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine—”

A bead of sweat hit the ground. What did Celeste do to deserve this? She wasn’t the nicest person, she knew, but to be shamed in this way was beyond retribution for the things she did in the past.

“Six… seven… eight…”

The next time Celeste went down, her arms gave in and her whole body hit the ground. She heard Kaito’s voice encourage, “C’mon, Celestia! Don’t give up!”

“Shut up!” Celeste barked, her face now red from exhaustion, embarrassment, and anger. Celeste managed to get her body back into position.

“Eight and a half!”

Fuck you, Kaede.  _ Fuck _ you for making this as painful as possible. More drops of sweat hit the ground.

She couldn’t do it anymore. Celeste stayed with her arms extended, knowing that if she tried going down, she would fall again.

“Forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty,” Mikan finished.

Kaito shouted, “Winner! Maki-Roll!”

“Fuck!” Celeste screamed, banging her fists into the ground. She stayed kneeling and buried her head into her arms in shame.

Twice. Kaede beat her twice in a row.

“Woo!” Kaede cheered. “I told you I could do it!” She high-fived Kaito, who looked down at the miserable Celeste.

“Aw, c’mon, Celestia,” Kaito comforted. “Eight and a half isn’t that bad. It’s better than zero. With some more training, you can make it to fifty, easy!”

She puffed air out of her mouth and stood up. Calmly, she said, “Congratulations.” Celeste wouldn’t let any of them bask in her loss. “I’ve had enough of this nonsense. I will be leaving now.” She wanted to get the hell out of there.

“Hey, no you aren’t!” Kaito stopped. “You still haven’t done your fifty.”

“Are you kidding me?”

Maki shook her head. “He’s not kidding. I already did my fifty, so I’m out of here.” Before she left, she said, “Welcome to our training team,” with an overwhelming amount of spite in her voice.

Celeste turned to Kaede. “Are you happy? Humiliating me like that?”

“No, I—” Kaede snickered. “I’m not—” She covered her mouth and took a deep breath. “I’m not happy. It was sad to watch, really.” She snorted. “But at least you get to hang out with the rest of us!”

Kaito led the group with an order. “Okay, everyone, we all gotta get moving. No slacking off!”

Kaede grinned, “Now that you’re a part of our team, Celeste, we can support you. Get on the ground and I’ll hold you up so you won’t be pushing as hard, okay?”

“How about I finish my push-ups in my room instead?” Celeste held her hands to her chest and smiled. “It is quite warm out here and I would much rather be in an air-conditioned room.”

Kaede furrowed her eyebrows. “We made a bet.” She pointed at the ground, telling Celeste to get down. “You’re training  _ with _ us.” So forceful.

She wasn’t wrong. Celeste always kept her word so she got on the ground, not without grumbling. When she felt Kaede’s hands on her upper chest and stomach, she asked, “What are you doing?”

“Oh—” Kaede slid her hands off of her. “This is how we support each other.” Looking at the rest of the group, both Shuichi and Kaito assisted Mikan with her push-ups. “We know we can’t make our goals on our own, so we have someone else help us out. It’s practice so we all know if we’re struggling with something, we always have someone to rely on to carry some of that burden.” If Kaito and Shuichi weren’t holding her, Mikan would’ve collapsed, but because she didn’t, she kept going. “No matter what, we’ll always stand by your side.”

Stand by her side? In the gambling world, betrayal was imminent. Since gambling was her world, Celeste couldn’t trust anyone. Having servants was the only way she could have any sense of fidelity and even then, one step into trustworthy vulnerability could have her life crashing down. “You are committed to remaining loyal to me?”

Kaede laughed. “You’re saying it weird, but yeah. You’re my friend.” She said it so matter-of-fact like she didn’t give it a second thought.

For a moment, with her eyes locked into Kaede’s, Celeste imagined the two of them side-by-side in her European castle. Celeste never considered having someone else with her that she wouldn’t ultimately betray; she always expected to be alone for the rest of her life.

Goddammit.  _ Goddammit. _

Celeste had already outlined the plan for her life and living alongside another being was  _ not _ a part of it. And even if that were to happen, it would only be to steal wealth and assets. That person had to be a  _ specific _ type of person.

While Celeste could appreciate the highly attractive contrast between naive good and manipulative evil inside of one person, Kaede wasn’t her type. Not enough money, too self-righteous, too pink. Yes, Kaede was willing to stand by her side, something Celeste never felt anyone would truly do for her, but it didn’t matter.

Not her. Not Kaede.

“I am perfectly fine on my own.”

Kaede put her hands in front of herself, not wanting to push it any further. “Alright, if that’s what you want. As long as you’re here. But when you need help, I’ll be here.”

Celeste got a good grip of the grass, ready to pump her growing feeling for Kaede away. It was embarrassing having Kaede just sit there and watch her regularly strain and fall, but she would make it to fifty push-ups eventually. No matter how long it was going to take, no matter how much suffering she was going to endure, Celeste was going to reach her goal.

_ Alone. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that ends act one of this story. I swear to god the enemies-to-lovers tag is NOT supposed to be Celeste and Maki.


	11. Torture Always Works

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE

**Kaito Momota:** any1 got 8.5s number

**Mikan Tsumiki:** 8.5s?

 **Kaito Momota:** 8.5 celestia

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Oh like 8.5 pushups haha. Thats funny Kaito.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** I do why

 **Kaito Momota:** u shuld add her to the chat

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** doesnt she hate us?? (๑•﹏•)

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Theres no way she hates us but i do think shed get mad

 **Kaito Momota:** rly why??

 **Shuichi Saihara:** I doubt she wants to be involved with us outside of training.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Yeah

 **Maki Harukawa:** Adding her wasn’t part of the bet. >_<

 **Kaito Momota:** its not abuot the bet its about bein friends

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Shell probably just leave

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** If she doesnt like it...... she can always mute the chat instead right?

 **Shuichi Saihara:** True.

 **Shuichi Saihara:** I dont want her to be excluded.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Me neither but i think she wants to be excluded

 **Kaito Momota:** well hows she gonna make freinds if she isolates herself? she just needs a lil push

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Maki, what do you think?

 **Maki Harukawa:** No.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Why not?

 **Maki Harukawa:** I can’t stand her and she's a bitch. >:(

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** I mean yeah kinda but shes actually really cool once you get to know her. i think she needs to open up a little and shes probably sweet on the inside

 **Kaito Momota:** ur the same way maki roll

 **Maki Harukawa:** Shut up.

 **Shuichi Saihara:** We were really patient with you and Mikan. I think we should do the same for Celeste.

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** mmmmmmmmmm i agree with shuichi but i dont want anyone to be upset!! shes kinda scary when shes mad and i dont want maki to be angry that shes here either

 **Maki Harukawa:** I feel like Celeste is the kind of person who’s always upset about something.

 **Kaito Momota:** its cus she needs friends

 **Kaito Momota:** plz maki roll just try

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** She can be kind of difficult but i promise shes not as bad as she seems. shes just weird and edgy

 **Maki Harukawa:** Fine.

 **Kaito Momota:** mikan? whats ur vote?

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** as long as everyone else is okay im okay with it!

 **Kaito Momota:** sweet

 **Kaito Momota:** kaede add her

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Okay here I go. dropping the bomb now.

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** Aaaaah im scared!!!

_Kaede Akamatsu added Celestia Ludenberg to ‘Sidekicks’._

**Kaede Akamatsu:** There i did it

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Welcome Celeste!

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** Hello!!!!

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** What is this?

 **Kaito Momota:** its a group chat for all my sidekicks!

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Excuse me, sidekicks? This is a joke, yes? I did not agree to this.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** We didnt want you to be excluded

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Yeah.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** To think that I would want to interact with you all beyond our agreement is blasphemous. And for me to be the sidekick? Please. If anything, you all should be following me. I will not accept this, unless you all agree to submit to me.

 **Maki Harukawa:** It’s not that serious.

_Celestia Ludenberg has left ‘Sidekicks’._

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Told you

 **Kaito Momota:** wat the hell!!

 **Maki Harukawa:** Good. It’s better without her. :)

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** NOOO!!! I knew she hated us!!!!

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** is it my fault did i do something????!!! 

**Shuichi Saihara:** No, I don’t think it was you, Mikan.

 **Kaito Momota:** kaede add her back

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** You sure? Shes gonna be piiiiiissed

 **Kaito Momota:** yah do it

_Kaede Akamatsu added Celestia Ludenberg to ‘Sidekicks’._

**Shuichi Saihara:** Celeste?

_Celestia Ludenberg has left ‘Sidekicks’._

**Kaito Momota:** dammit do it agin til she stays

 **Maki Harukawa:** Let her go. e_e

 **Kaito Momota:** im not givin up on any of my sidekicks!

_Kaede Akamatsu has added Celestia Ludenberg to ‘Sidekicks’._

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Celeste wait

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Stop bringing me back.

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** Dont leave!!!

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** We really want you to stay

 **Shuichi Saihara:** You’re our friend and we want you to feel included.

 **Kaito Momota:** yeah!

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I workout with you ONCE and now we are suddenly friends? I am not going to be a part of your superhero fantasy.

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** if you dont want to be friends thats okay im sorry i made you angry

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** If you didnt wanna be friends you wouldnt have showed up last night!

 **Shuichi Saihara:** That’s true.

 **Kaito Momota:** tru

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I made it quite clear that I was looking for my lost earring.

 **Maki Harukawa:** She complained the entire time she was there.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Oh, so Maki isn’t going to try to convince me to join your little group?

 **Maki Harukawa:** No.

 **Kaito Momota:** maki roll!

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Celeste pleaaaaase stay. For me?

 **Celestia Akamatsu:** Why do you think I would just for you?

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Cus at the very least WE really are friends!

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** So please?

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** If Maki begged… perhaps.

 **Maki Harukawa:** No.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** You do not like me? :’-(

 **Maki Harukawa:** No.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Well, that is that then.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Nonono

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** If i beg for maki will it work

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Kaito Momota:** plz

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Kaito Momota:** plz

_Celestia Ludenberg has left ‘Sidekicks’._

**Kaito Momota:** plz

 **Kaito Momota:** plz

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Wait wait hold on

_Kaede Akamatsu has added Celestia Ludenberg to ‘Sidekicks’._

**Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Kaito Momota:** plz

 **Shuichi Saihara:** please

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Stop, or else the next time someone says your name, it will be through a ouija board.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Shuichi Saihara:** please

_Celestia Ludenberg has left ‘Sidekicks’._

**Kaito Momota:** plz

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Mikan maki join in

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** Okay!!!

 **Maki Harukawa:** This is agony. I’m not doing anything.

_Kaede Akamatsu has added Celestia Ludenberg to ‘Sidekicks’._

**Kaito Momota:** plz

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** please!!!

 **Kaito Momota:** plz

 **Shuichi Saihara:** please

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I swear to God, one day, I will force you all to serve me JUST SO I CAN DESTROY YOU ALL FOR MY OWN PLEASURE!

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** please!!!!!!

_Celestia Ludenberg has left ‘Sidekicks’._

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Keep going well break her

_Kaede Akamatsu has added Celestia Ludenberg to ‘Sidekicks’._

**Kaede Akamatsu:** We aren’t stopping!

 **Kaito Momota:** plz

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Shuichi Saihara:** please

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** STOP IT

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** please

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** **_|￣|○**

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** ALRIGHT

 **Shuichi Saihara:** please

 **Kaito Momota:** plz

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** :o

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** ENOGUH

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** ILL STAY

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** STOP

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** JUST SOTP

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Yay!

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Thank you!

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** torture always works

 **Kaito Momota:** sweet

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** You are all going to give me a STROKE. My loathing for you all fuels the fires of Hell. NEVER do that again!

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** No promises lol

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** If thats true then you should all know the warning signs of a stroke facial drooping arm weakness speech difficulties and calling an emergency vehicle in a timely manner is important so remember the FAST acronym!

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Have you ever heard of a comma, Mikan? They look like this: ,

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** Im sorry!! ,,,,,,,,,

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Please don’t be so mean to Mikan. We’re all friends here.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Maki is not friendly.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Makis just edgy like you

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** You two have more in common than you think

 **Maki Harukawa:** Whatever.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Whatever.

 **Kaito Momota:** jinx

 **Shuichi Saihara:** haha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured it would be really disappointing to wait a week for something this small so I’m just gonna give this to yall real quick. Next chapter SHOULD be out Wednesday. And I think I'm going to take a break/hiatus after that. I've been writing this story every day for the past three months and ya girl tryna not burnout. See ya Wednesday


	12. The Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you missed it, I posted chapter 11 on Saturday. It's a short group chat chapter, so go back and read that real fast before you read this one.

**Kaede Akamatsu** : Hey, so ive thought about it for a long time and while i had a lot of fun with you, i cant really see the two of us together. youre a really really cool guy but i think we should stay friends. im sorry to friendzone you, if thats a real thing, but i dont feel a connection beyond friendship. like i dont want to do the its not you its me thing but thats literally it. its not your fault and you didnt do anything wrong. Im sorry Leon.

Kaede handed her phone to Shuichi, who laid upside down on her bed. “How does it sound? Do you think that’s okay?” She paced around her room, despite her nervous exhaustion. “I didn’t want to make it look too formal because when I first wrote it, it kinda looked like he got fired from a job.”

“Hm,” Shuichi pondered. They had been in Kaede’s room for an hour talking about Kaede’s nonexistent feelings for Leon after Kaede was too afraid to go to dinner, in fear of confronting him. Being alone and playing music with him was fun, but she worried about how he’d act around other people. “It might be too informal. He might think you don’t care that much.”

“What?!” Kaede pulled her hair over her eyes. “Uuuugh, but I said sorry twice!”

“I don’t know, that’s what I’d think.” He handed the phone back to her. “Then again, I don’t think there’s any way that someone could break up with me that wouldn’t make me upset.”

“I’m just gonna hit send, alright?” She pressed the button, solidifying her final decision. “I just hope he doesn’t get mad or start telling rumors about me or start acting weird and creepy.” She stared at her phone, waiting for a response.

“If he does anything,” Shuichi sat up, his head growing red from hanging upside down, “We’ll have your back.”

“Thank you.” Kaede collapsed on her bed next to him. “At least we have training soon so I don’t have to think about it too much. Ooo!” She excitedly hugged a pillow to her chest. “And Celeste is gonna be there!”

“Hm. Right.” He didn’t sound nearly as happy as Kaede.

“I know she can be mean— really mean— but I think we should give her a chance. Maybe more than one chance. I just—” Kaede let out a sigh into her pillow. “I think there’s more to her than what she shows other people.”

Shuichi hesitated, contemplating Kaede’s words. “Kyoko says she’s a narcissist.”

“Yeah, she can be self-centered, but—”

“No, Kaede.” His voice turned cold and fearful. “I mean the personality disorder.”

Kaede didn’t know much about psychology, especially not personality disorders. “What… does that mean?”

“It means she’s manipulative, arrogant, and one of her main drives is getting attention. These people can be really dangerous to other people because they don’t feel empathy.”

Kaede squeezed her pillow tighter, her face scrunching as she didn’t want to believe what Shuichi was saying. “Is that what you think?”

“Ah.” He crossed his legs. “I don’t know. It fits her.”

“How does Kyoko know that? How do _you_ know that?”

“I read about it and I assume Kyoko did the same thing.”

Kaede sat up and faced Shuichi. “You two are both detectives, so—”

Shuichi interrupted, “I’m just an apprentice.”

“You’re _both_ detectives. You’re trained to solve problems after they happen, not before. Sure, maybe you can predict some things, but the only way for you to do that is to see the worst in people. You’re not psychologists. I don’t even think you guys _know_ her.”

“Kyoko plays Othello with her once a week and is in her class.”

“How can you tell if someone can feel empathy just from that? That’s like saying Maki is unempathetic because she doesn’t talk much but _we_ know she has feelings because we hang out with her almost every day!” Kaede shook her head in frustration. “Celeste feels empathy, I know she does. And even if she didn't, I'd still be her friend. She just hides behind a wall and if you just stare at the wall without trying to look past it, of course you’re going to think there’s something wrong with her. Someone’s gotta come in with tools to break it down before she builds it all around herself with no way out! If that makes any sense.”

Shuichi bent back, avoiding Kaede’s intensity. “You sound like you want to fix her. You can’t fix someone that doesn’t want to change.”

“I… Well…” Shuichi was right. “No one’s gonna change if you don’t give them the chance to.”

“You’re right,” he submitted, “I said that we should be patient. Being a detective is about finding the truth and there’s always more than one truth. If you believe that Celeste isn’t as bad as she seems, I’ll believe it too.” He lifted the bill of his hat a little.

“...Thanks, Shuichi.” She went in for a hug.

“And I guess I should trust Mikan a little more too.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“A while ago, do you remember when we were eating breakfast and the ceiling fell down? And there were blue flakes in our food? I thought Mikan put rat poison in our food since blocks of rat poison are blue and flakey like that but I don’t want to believe Mikan would do something like that to us.”

“Uh…” Kaede pulled out of the hug. “Yeah, I don’t think Mikan has any reason to do that. She’s weird but she’s not a murderer.”

“I know. So there must be some other truth, right? Maybe it really was weird seasoning.”

_Ding Dong Bing Bong_

It was time for training and since Kaede still wasn’t ready, as usual with her bad memory, she had to change into her work out clothes, specifically into one of her tank tops that read ‘I Flexed And The Sleeves Fell Off.” She really liked puny shirts.

When they left her room and headed to the courtyard, Maki was alone and staring at her phone. She was always punctual and the first one there. Once she noticed Kaede and Shuichi coming, Maki said, “Hey. I have a question for you guys.” Her voice was serious like she was about to ask them their opinions on the death penalty. Holding out her phone, she asked, “What do you think of this?”

There was a picture of a puppy, a labrador retriever, with its nose close to the camera. Above the image was the search bar where the only thing written in it was ‘dog.’

“It’s a…” Shuichi looked for something wrong in the picture, something he couldn’t find. “Cute dog?”

Maki nodded, “Yeah.” Her face and voice remained neutral but Shuichi and Kaede had known Maki long enough to know that even though she wasn’t smiling, she was expressing joy. “I didn’t know you could look up pictures.”

Thinking back to her conversation with Shuichi, Kaede asked, “Maki, you feel empathy, right?”

Maki blinked. “...What?”

“Oh, sorry. I guess that was kinda weird to say.”

“It’s fine. I’ve taken care of kids scatterbrained like you before, so I get it. To answer your question,” Maki shrugged, “I dunno,”

“What? How do you not know?”

Maki put her phone and fists in her basketball shorts pockets. “I’m numb most of the time.”

“Noooo,” Kaede frowned. “That’s not good! How are you supposed to connect with people if you don’t feel anything?”

“It’s not like I don’t feel anything on purpose. Why are you asking me anyway?”

Kaede put a finger on her cheek, thinking. “You were a lot colder when we first met you, but you’ve warmed up after a while. I think Celeste is the same way.”

“Ugh,” Maki grimaced. “Don’t compare me to that spoiled brat.”

Mikan and Kaito showed up at the same time, coming from the main building.

“Mikan!” Kaede went in for the deep hug.

“Kaede!” They collided with each other, with both of them squeezing as hard as they could. Kaede loved hugs and each time she hugged Mikan, it was like Mikan had never been hugged before. Obviously, that meant she should receive them more often.

After waiting another long five minutes, Celeste finally came down with short hair in a black track jacket, shorts, thigh-high stockings, and sneakers. She still had on her earrings and red contacts but wore no makeup. She looked so much less intimidating, so human.

“I have arrived,” Celeste greeted with her forearms out to the side. Even without her goth lolita clothing, she still maintained her regality. It was the same old Celeste. “If you feel inclined, you may bow or curtsey.”

Mikan bent her stomach at a ninety-degree angle. “If you say so!”

Maki straightened her back up with her hands. “No, Mikan, don’t give her what she wants.” She sneered at Celeste, “You’re late.”

“Am I?” Celeste tilted her head. “Or are you all excessively early?”

Shuichi took a deep breath and greeted her. “Um, hey, Celeste. How… was your day?”

She looked at him, surprised that he spoke to her directly. “You think that because I am now part of this group, you have permission to speak to me?” Celeste paused to look off in the distance, playing with her hair. “Since you asked politely, I will tell you that it was lovely before coming here. I had a sirloin steak with an heirloom tomato salad as a side for dinner, so I _was_ in a decent mood.” Kaede must’ve been looking at her for a long time because Celeste said to her, “Are you going to be staring at me for the remainder of the night?”

“O-Oh!” Kaede stuttered, “I didn’t mean to stare; you, uh, still look really pretty without your makeup.”

“Naturally,” Celeste bragged. “Makeup cannot create perfect features, only highlight ones that already exist.”

Kaede held out her shirt. “Do you like my shirt?”

“...How many of those silly tops do you own?”

“One for each week day!”

Celeste looked her up and down. “I suppose it fits you well.” She hesitated. “Your personality, I mean. It fits your personality well.” 

Kaito held up two thumbs. “Now that Eight-Point-Five’s here, let’s get moving.”

Celeste raised her eyebrows. “I am sorry, but are you referring to me?”

“‘Course I am!”

Celeste shook her head. “I will not tolerate such a degrading nickname. You will call me Celeste and Celeste _only._ ”

“Aw, Eight-Point-Five, you take things too seriously.” He scratched his head. “Don’t worry, we’ll run that outta ya. Everyone ready for a lap around the school?”

Everyone, except Celeste, of course, agreed. “How about we do something with our arms instead? That way—”

“So you can beat Maki and leave?” Kaito interrupted. “Nice try, Eight-Point-Five.”

Celeste dropped her shoulders. “Well then, let us—” She turned and her face was suddenly plastered with pain. “HA-AAAA!” Before Kaede could even process what happened, Celeste was on the ground clutching her ankle.

“What’s wrong?!” Kaede gasped and instinctually dropped down beside her.

“It is—” She sucked in air through her teeth. “It is my ankle. I must have moved wrong and sprained or broken it or something.”

What could Kaede do, what could she do?! Seeing the growing tears in Celeste’s eyes triggered an empathetic response within her, causing Kaede to tear up as well. She held her hands over Celeste, unsure of how to help. She looked up at Mikan, her face begging her to do something.

When Mikan knelt down to feel her leg, Celeste cried, “It hurts, it hurts…!”

Shuichi cautioned, “Are you going to be okay, Celeste? Maybe you should sit down for a while.”

Kaito asked, “You can’t run, can you?”

Celeste shook her head. “I do not believe I can go on…”

“Hm…” Mikan bit her cheek. “Everything feels fine—”

“Ow!” Celeste winced.

Maki heard what Mikan said. “Are you serious?” She stomped behind Celeste and grabbed the back of her jacket collar, forcibly yanking a surprised Celeste up with one, strong arm.

“WaaAAAH!” Celeste shouted as she flailed her arms and legs. When she was pulled all the way up, she stood with no limp or pain. She cursed to herself under her breath.

“Hey!” a fuming Kaede yelled. “Celeste, that’s not funny! Don’t lie like that!”

“If you did not force me to do something I did not want to do, I would not lie!” Celeste retaliated.

Shuichi adjusted his hat. “Is that really true?”

Celeste pursed her lips and looked away. “You are right. But running is immensely sweat-inducing!”

“Quit whining and get moving,” Maki said before running off.

Kaito stammered, “Maki-Roll, wait for the rest of us!” He took off, following her with Shuichi and Mikan close behind.

Now it was just Celeste and Kaede, who stared at her with her arms crossed.

Celeste rolled her eyes. “Oh, do not look at me like that.”

“Just play along. Please?”

“Why is this so important to you? Why are you so focused on me?”

“Because you’re my friend and I care about you?”

Celeste squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose. She took a deep breath and let go. “Do not say such ridiculous things. I do not have friends, Kaede; I have momentary allies. Unless you are a masochist, you have no reason to attempt friendship. I will hurt you eventually. In fact, I am doing you a favor by telling you to back off.”

While her words seemed hurtful on the surface, Kaede was able to relax inside of herself when she heard the hidden meaning. “How often do you say that to people?”

“Only you, since you are so inexplicably stubborn.” Celeste squinted. “What is that face for?”

“If you don’t wanna hurt me, then that means you care about me.”

“Wh—”

“And you care—”

“This is entirely baseless—”

“Because we’re friends!” Kaede jumped around and poked Celeste’s stomach, side, and arm with her two index fingers. “You don’t! Wanna admit! That we’re friends! Because! You’re edgy!” she sang in a made-up tune.

Celeste swatted Kaede’s hands away. “Are you like this with everyone?”

“You know, the more you stall, the longer you’re gonna be here. I say we race to the end! That way you can leave sooner since you wanna get out of here so bad. Is that a deal?”

“I will walk,” Celeste demanded.

Kaede corrected, “You will run.”

“I will walk.”

“You will jog.”

“I will walk _fast._ ”

“You will _jog_ fast.”

“Uch, you are so stubborn!” Celeste growled. “I am an incredibly patient person and you are running it thin.”

“So, does that mean you’re running?”

“I will _jog_ at a normal pace.”

Kaede jumped up. “Sweet! I’ll jog with you but if you end up behind me, I’m gonna…” There wasn’t much Kaede could do to will Celeste into exercising. “...tackle you to the ground!”

“Oh, will you?”

Kaede took an aggressive step towards her.

“Okay, okay,” Celeste pleaded with her hands up. “I am moving.”

Celeste began jogging around the school with Kaede by her side. Occasionally, Kaede would speed up, forcing Celeste to pick up the pace. Soon, they were practically racing.

Hm. Maybe Kaede should’ve eaten something before training.

Exhaustion hit Kaede like a sack of bricks and she had to stop, panting and putting her hands on her knees. “You… go on ahead… I’ll catch up.”

“You have terrible stamina,” Celeste breathed. She was pretty fast for someone who never worked out but she had to take a couple of extra breaths as well.

“No, I just… haven’t eaten in a bit.”

“Are you serious?” Her eyebrows furrowed anger that hid concern. “Hope’s Peak Academy provides you with three healthy meals a day and it is incredibly inconsiderate to not eat them.”

Kaede looked up at her, surprised that this, of all things, was what ticked her off. “Sorry, I forgot,” she lied, not wanting to go into detail about why she was avoiding Leon. “It happens.” She collapsed on her back into the grass.

“Are you going to be okay?” Celeste bent over her. “Wasting away from starvation is a horrible way to die.”

“I’m not gonna die,” Kaede laughed. “I need to lay down for a bit. I’ll be fine.”

“Hm. If you pass out, I will take the opportunity to drink your blood,” she joked. “So, it is in your best interest not to faint. However,” Celeste sat down next to her and crossed her legs, “I will wait here for the chance to prey on you. Hmhm.”

Kaede smiled, “Thanks for waiting for me.” Kaede knew Celeste really did empathize with other people. She felt her stomach flutter knowing that Celeste, who didn’t seem to care about anyone, cared about her.

Celeste deflected, “No, no, I simply do not wish to run.”

Why was Kaede’s body physically reacting to Celeste’s words? This was the feeling she expected when she went on her date with Leon but it seemed like the only time she felt these butterflies was when she was with Celeste.

…

The only time she felt butterflies was when she was with Celeste.

…

The only time she felt butterflies was when—

Random memories that she never thought about connected to form one conclusion.

Memories of the various girl band posters she had that she’d stare at, even if she didn’t listen to their music.

Memories of the times she would occasionally google ‘boobs’ on the computer as a kid, justifying it as curiosity as to how hers might look when she got older.

Memories of sleepovers with other girls who talked about the boys they liked and she had a hard time contributing to the conversation.

It wasn’t that she was shallow or picky or broken. It wasn’t that there was something wrong with her. She just wasn’t attracted to men. Instead, she liked—

_Oh no._

Kaede was a lesbian, and she didn’t have a problem with gay people, but a _lot_ of people did. Her love wasn’t completely legal in Japan. She remembered the rumors that went around about some people at her old school; people saying some girls were lesbians and the implication was that they were disgusted by it, afraid of it. Kaede would defend the rumored lesbians but she never thought she’d be one. She’d already been an outcast by being labeled a Piano Freak and she didn’t want to be pushed away any further.

A vibration in her pocket took her out of her mind for a moment.

 **Leon Kuwata:** man that sux. You dont have to apologize i get it. But i gotta ask if its cus theres someone else?

Kaede looked up at Celeste, who immediately tore her eyesight off of her as Celeste was caught looking back at her. The way Celeste looked in the moonlight with her head resting casually in her fist staring up into the stars… Music came to mind the way she had hoped it would for Leon. Debussy’s _Claire de Lune_ , Beethoven’s _Moonlight Sonata_ , Tchaikovsky’s _Swan Theme_ — they all played at once like a beautiful fog in Kaede’s mind.

Kaede couldn’t like Celeste; Celeste was her friend. If Celeste found out about it, she might get weirded out and put in such an uncomfortable situation that she’d avoid Kaede.

Why did it have to be her? Why did she have to like her friend? Why couldn’t it have been _anyone_ else?

Kaede couldn’t lose her friend. She had to lie.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** No. There’s no one else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that this is a romance fanfiction and not real life, so certain behavior that would be red flags aren't fully written to be that way. If any of you see someone like Celeste in real life and are attracted to them... don't. Just don't.
> 
> EDIT: Clarifying that I mean someone that's manipulative like Celeste. It is her behavior that's the problem, not her entire being.
> 
> Okay, this is more accurate to the end of Act One. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to go on a break/hiatus after this. I need time to get my writing juice back, outline some more, and return to actually enjoying writing. This last chapter was TOUGH to push out but it's better to have something rather than nothing. Weekly writing is very difficult; I've uploaded 207 pages of work in three months and about 150 of those pages are all first drafts. I can't wait to come back in like a year after all this is finished and edit the hell out of it.
> 
> That being said, I will return in a month. Chapter 13 will be posted on September 2nd. Thank you to everyone who has been following along!


	13. Broken Wing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned. Mild horror in the first third. Lil bit of death thoughts, but not in a suicidal way. Am I overall messing up the tone of the story by continuing to add horror elements in a fluff/angst romantic comedy? Maybe, but I’m having fun.

“It is a peculiar dilemma: to flip the switch and murder an innocent or to do nothing and allow more people to die. Is it better for one to take action and  _ murder _ to save more people? Or is it more ethical to be a bystander and not get involved? Psychologically, if this were a real situation, time would not stop, and you would be required to make a split-second decision. Then logic and ethics cannot prevail, as what it comes down to is which is stronger within you: fight, flight, or freeze? To fight, take action, and flip the switch? To run away or freeze and do nothing?”

“Gonta jump in front of trolley and stop it. Then everyone live.”

Celeste sighed into the handle of the parasol she held, careful not to move too much to allow her to fall six feet from Gonta’s shoulder. “I see you still have yet to grasp even the most basic of thought experiments.”

Gonta, as the high noon sun beat down on him, pulled his sweaty hair back with the hand that Celeste wasn’t holding onto. “Gonta no understand why Gonta no stop trolley.”

“Because there are only two options, dear.”

“Then Gonta make third option.”

“No, no, the point of the experiment is to make a choice.”

“Gonta choose to save everyone.”

This conversation wasn’t going anywhere. “Let us sit down. It is such a lovely day to bask in the beauty of nature,” she said, comfortably shaded.

After they found a bench to rest on, Celeste handed him her parasol. “Gentlemen keep ladies shaded.”

As Gonta held the parasol over her, Celeste took the time to admire Hope’s Peak Academy’s landscape, untouched by the smog, physical and metaphorical, that humans left behind. They sat away from the front gates, so they were unable to hear the constant mumble of Ultimate fans, particularly the Sayakers, who waited outside, hoping for someone they recognized to leave campus. While the fences of Hope Peak Academy were obvious signs of human-life, the groundskeeper did an excellent job at removing the colonialist and industrial disease humans often left upon the earth. The grass was green, flowers bloomed with buzzing bees, a bird of prey swooped in on a smaller, sicker bird; nature was in perfect balance. This was peace.

Until a looming darkness breathed into existence behind Celeste, sending a chill down her spine. The aura behind her grew suffocating as something drew nearer. It was the middle of the day; spiritually, nothing should be there if she were to turn around, but to turn would be to admit fear. Gonta made no apparent reaction. He must not have felt it. It was only Celeste.

What could possibly be haunting her? The ghost of someone whose entire bank account she won through gambling wanting to take revenge? Celeste had taken a  _ lot _ of money from those less skillful and not as lucky as she was, though after each tournament, she would leave the criminal world behind her. She had no idea what became of those people, nor did she care. It was too easy to imagine the vengeful ghost slowly sucking the life out of her until she was nothing but skin and bones like she sucked away their life savings. Stupid Gonta wouldn’t even hear her gasps for air until it was too late.

It wasn’t until she heard the rapid crunches of grass beneath shoes that proved the entity was within this corporeal realm and a more likely threat came to light: an assassin. Gambling was a dangerous job that gave her dangerous enemies and the threat of being assassinated was always on the back of her mind; a terrible fate that she was almost certain was inevitable.

If her end was now, at least it wouldn’t be through poisoning. Consuming contaminated food was Celeste’s worst fear; food used to be scarce so the idea of doing an action that was meant to keep her alive eventually killing her was horrifying. And it would be easy, too. Celeste pretended to be a picky eater in front of people only because she had the privilege to do so and to maintain her bitchy, rich girl persona but realistically, she would eat anything that was in front of her, no matter how good or bad it was.

As quickly as the fear came, the logical part of her brain convinced her that Hope’s Peak would never allow an assassin on campus. Security was too tight. The students were some of the most important youth in Japan, housing foreign royalty, internet royalty, corporate royalty, and people who  _ should _ be royalty, like Celeste. No assassin was coming for her as long as she was on Hope’s Peak Academy ground. Then what was behind her?

_ Kcccccccccccck. _

Static.

The crinkling sound of television fuzz filled her left ear. The ambient noise of an otherworldly creature with fog for eyes and a horn for a mouth. The bubbles that gurgled out of its porous skin occasionally interrupted the static.

_ Ggggggggh. _

But Celeste recognized it. It was no cosmic horror.

She rolled her eyes and turned around to face the creature that stood over her. “What do you want, Mikan?”

“Ggggggh.” Mikan’s fishy eyes bugged out of her head like some  _ Shadow Over Innsmouth _ motherfucker.

Gonta finally noticed the other presence and looked in her direction. “Oh! Mikan! Good morning, Mikan.”

Immediately, Mikan’s intense stare softened. “G-Good morning.” He moved Celeste’s parasol over Mikan, shading her instead and leaving the  _ scorching hot _ sun  _ searing _ Celeste’s flesh. Celeste squeezed her eyelids, protecting her burning retinas as Mikan comfortably giggled. “Hee hee… Heeheeheehee…”

Celeste pulled the parasol back over her. Celeste should be Gonta’s priority, so he had  _ no _ reason to give Mikan her shade. While Mikan acted like her usual, annoying self, Gonta’s face was flushed in red, a color not caused by the heat.

Hm.

“Do not make me repeat myself,” Celeste stated.

“O-Oh, um…” Mikan clutched the ends of her hair, taking a step back. “W-We wanted to know— Celeste— since we’re a team and all… if you wanted to come eat lunch with us?”

“Us?” Celeste tilted her head to see three figures in the distance: Shuichi, Kaito, and Maki. Shuichi and Kaito waved when she saw them. Maki kept her arms crossed.

Mikan nodded. “Th-They told me to ask you.”

Celeste let out a deep sigh. These bastards were  _ not _ going to leave her alone. Was it even worth fighting when Kaito or Kaede were just going to bug her until she gave in?

Speaking of Kaede, where was she? The most likely explanation was that she was already inside the dining hall. Lunch with Kaede didn’t sound too bad, even if it was tainted by the others. Spending time with her… wasn’t bad.

What was she thinking? It was prime lunchtime, where a majority of the school was inside eating. Celeste always ate her meals after this time period to get some peace as she ate. And she absolutely didn’t want to eat lunch with  _ Maki _ . Celeste was perfectly fine with eating a later lunch with Gonta, even if their conversations were unfulfilling.

“I will not,” Celeste said. “Go about your business. I will eat my meal with Gonta.”

Gonta suddenly sat up and knelt into the grass in front of them, pulling Celeste’s parasol down with him. “Oh no!” He carefully picked up what he was looking at: a stationary bumblebee. “Little bumblebee wing broken! Gonta no want bumblebee feel pain.” 

Celeste cringed again at the sun burning her alive. “Unfortunate. Give me back my parasol if you are not going to keep it over me.” She snatched it out of his hand.

“If bee no fly, bee no get food and starve!”

Mikan, who hadn’t left yet despite their conversation being  _ over _ , said, “That’s terrible! Can you feed it sugar water or something so it won’t die?”

Gonta frowned. “Gonta can, but sugar water no fix wing.”

“A tragedy,” Celeste said. “That is the fragility of life, is it not? And yet, the other bees carry on as if they do not see their own kind suffering. They have access to the flowers, so why would they care? Perhaps the only way to maintain life…” She paused for dramatic effect. “...is to be selfish.”

Gonta’s eyes lit up. “Gonta know solution! Gonta ask Miu if Miu can make invention to fix wing. Then little bumble bee can keep flying.”

Celeste shrugged. “I suppose you can ask that hussy to help you.” She put her hand over her mouth and laughed at her insult.

“Gonta no have much time! Will Lady Celeste be okay if Gonta leave to help little bee?”

There was a pretty large chance that Gonta would be gone for a while as he nursed the bee back to health, likely after Celeste would eat her lunch. “No, it is not okay.” Eating by oneself was one of the worst things in the world.

Not really, but Celeste didn’t like it.

“A lady like me should never eat alone.”

Gonta looked at Mikan. “But Lady Celeste can eat with Mikan and friends. Gonta sorry Gonta no act like true gentleman right now, but Gonta must protect little bumblebee!” Fury quickly filled his eyes. “Lady Celeste hate bug?! Lady Celeste  _ want _ little bumblebee to die?!”

Oh fuck. Celeste huffed. “I  _ suppose _ the life of a valued, yet endangered species is more important than my comfort.” She flicked her wrist up and down. “Off with you.”

His face softened like puppies. “Oh. Okay. Good. Gonta knew Lady Celeste no bad person. No bad person hate bug. Gonta come back later!” He bowed and quickly ran towards the Ultimate Inventor research lab.

Celeste rolled her eyes, knowing Mikan was still there behind her. Her staggered heavy breathing made it clear what Mikan was going to say. She didn’t want to eat with them but eating alone was agony. There were too many memories of having to cook food for her family since neither of her parents was going to do it, setting their meals at the table, only for them to take their plates and walk away, abandoning Celeste to eat by herself. She knew it would be hard to eventually live alone, unbothered by society, with no one to eat with. Hopefully, she’d get over it. At this moment, the idea of eating by herself was too painful.

“Right now?” Celeste asked.

“We’re about to go to the dining hall now.”

Celeste let out a groan loud enough for the rest of the team to hear, making sure they knew how much they were tormenting her. At least she could see Kaede. She stood up from the bench and aggressively closed her parasol.

“Yay!” Mikan cheered. “I did it!”

“Why am I a challenge— a prize to be won for you all?” Celeste asked under her breath.

When Celeste and Mikan approached the entrance to the building, Kaito held onto Mikan’s shoulder. “See? Talking to people ain’t that bad. People ain’t as scary as they seem.”

Celeste smirked. “With each human interaction I have, the demon attached to my body grows hungrier for the taste of human flesh.”

Kaito’s face instantly went pale. “Haha, Eight-Point-Five, don’t joke like that. You’re part of our team now.”

“Not if you keep calling me that ridiculous name.”

Shuichi greeted, “Good morning, Celeste.” At least he was being polite.

“Good morning,” she returned. Celeste held out her parasol. “Hold this. Thank you.”

After an “Oof” from Shuichi as Celeste pressed the parasol into his chest, he said, “Uh… okay.” What a pushover. No backbone at all.

Celeste noticed Maki hadn’t said anything to her. “ _ Good morning _ ,” Celeste emphasized, noting how rude Maki was being.

Maki turned her back to her and started walking inside. “C’mon.” It was obvious it wasn’t Maki’s decision to ask Celeste to join them. She must’ve been outvoted.

Entering the dining hall was a nightmare. Everyone had to talk at a higher volume than normal since everyone else was already loud and the room was immensely crowded. Well, it wasn’t  _ that _ crowded but compared to the uncomfortably spacious dining room Celeste’s imaginary castle had, there were way too many people.

Celeste looked around for Kaede, first spotting Hifumi, Sonia, Chiaki, and Tsumugi sitting at a table together, probably sharing their  _ incorrect _ anime opinions like the stupid otaku they were. Chiaki wasn’t talking, instead, her nose was pressed into a handheld video game console but it was clear she was still listening due to her occasional nods. It would look bad on the class representative if she wasn’t an active listener.

Since he had been avoiding Celeste for over a month now, she was surprised the first time she had seen Hifumi, he was happy. Quite joyful, actually, as much as he was when he spoke with Celeste. She’d expect him to be suffering without her, but it was the opposite; he was thriving. He really didn’t need her as she’d thought.

Whatever. Celeste didn’t need him either.

She turned her head and saw Kyoko sitting with Makoto and Byakuya, her finger on her chin as Byakuya informed the two of them on something he considered to be important while Makoto braided her hair. She seemed content— as one would be with their boyfriend next to them— despite her finger slowly sliding upwards, pressing her bottom lip to her top one, a way to keep her mouth shut. Byakuya must be in some debate with her and he said something she didn’t agree with and Kyoko was waiting for the perfect moment to strike back.

As he spoke, Kyoko’s eyes momentarily lifted to Celeste’s, unsurprising since Celeste was quite the sight to see. Her face didn’t change, but Celeste could tell Kyoko wasn’t expecting to see Celeste in the dining hall at this time. As Kyoko’s eyes searched the area for a reason, they quickly fell to Shuichi, Kaito, Mikan, and eventually Maki. Her eyes darted back and forth between Celeste and Maki, finding a connection. Whatever conclusion she came to, it was shown by her crossing her arms, leaning back into her chair, and saying something to Byakuya, who lifted his arms in shock. She smiled a little, winning the debate, but the smile faded as she continued staring at Celeste and Maki.

Celeste stuck her nose in the air, unamused that Kyoko associated her with trash like Maki. Why she did, she didn’t have the faintest idea.

As the rest of the group got their food— burgers, a sloppy meal Celeste would never eat in her handmade lolita outfit for fear of stains— Celeste made her way to the kitchen to notify and apologize to Teruteru of her early presence but made sure he began preparing her lunchtime gyoza. When she returned to the dining hall, she saw the rest of the group waiting for her at an empty table.

An empty table.

As Celeste sat down, she asked, “Why have you all started eating?”

Shuichi paused. “Why wouldn’t we?”

Celeste gestured to the rest of the table. “Not all of us are here. It is rude to begin eating when not everyone is at the table.”

Mikan clarified, “You mean Kaede?”

“Yes. She has yet to arrive.”

“She’s probably in her lab,” Shuichi said.

Celeste was surprised. “So, you know where she is and did not retrieve her?”

“Kaede’s practicing her ultimate talent,” Kaito said. “We don’t need to interrupt her.”

Maki raised an eyebrow. “I know kids that have a hard time focusing on the right things. She’s the same. Why do  _ you _ care?”

Celeste was having a hard time believing their actions. “You are telling me that you are all perfectly okay with your friend, your anemic friend, who you know is prone to fainting spells when she does not eat, skip lunch. Because you do not want to interrupt her.”

Shuichi held his hand up. “Well, she gets kinda mad—”

“And at the same time,” Celeste cut off, “You go out of your way to disturb my peace because you want me to be a part of your team.”

Maki shook her head. “I never wanted you to join. I don’t even care about this whole ‘team’ thing.”

“Then why are you here? If you do not care, then go eat somewhere else.” Maki froze, her eyebrows furrowed not in anger, but in shame. “Really. Leave,” Celeste taunted.

Maki looked away.

“Exactly.” Celeste scooted her chair back and stood up. “I am disappointed in all of you and incredibly disturbed by your bias. I understand that I am unkind to you all and having me here is some sort of power play or revenge fantasy, but Kaede is more than a teammate to you. She is your  _ friend _ . Shuichi, she is your  _ best _ friend, yes?”

Shuichi nodded.

“You would rather let your best friend _starve_ than confront her anger?” Celeste turned to Mikan. “You are an _Ultimate_ _Nurse_. You should know the dangers of not eating. Do better!”

Mikan pressed her face into the crook of her elbows, wrapping her head in her arms. “I-I-I’m sorry!”

Kaito scratched his head. “C’mon, Eight-Point-Five, you’re taking it too seriously. Kaede’s really hard to get to stop playing when she starts. And she says she eats eventually.”

“You say you are the leader of this group, but you cannot convince your ‘sidekick’ to eat? Shame on you. If you all are going to say we’re a team, then act like it. I shall return with her.” She left them to think amongst themselves in silence.

Celeste pushed open the door to the Ultimate Pianist lab and immediately Beethoven’s _Grand Sonata_ wormed its way into her ears. While Celeste couldn’t initially see the person playing the grand piano in the center of the room, there was no doubt that it was Kaede, not just from the beautifully skillful playing, but from the fact that the pianist was so engrossed in the instrument that they didn’t look up to see who had entered the room. It wasn’t until Celeste was standing right next to her that Kaede lifted her eyes. With a gasp, she froze, stopped playing— shocking as Celeste didn’t expect her mere presence to halt her— and a huge smile slid across her face as if she had not seen Celeste since she had departed for a thirty-year war.

“ _ Hi! _ ” Kaede blurted out. She must’ve recognized her volume because she blinked and repeated, “Hiya,” in a quieter tone.

“What are you doing?” Celeste scolded.

Kaede extended her neck outward, looking like Celeste had asked her a dumb question. “Playing the piano. Duh. It’s Beethoven’s  _ Grand Sonata _ actually. My instructor said I used the soft pedal too much, so I’ve been trying to limit myself. You wanna listen?” She scooted over and patted the pianist bench stool, gesturing for Celeste to sit down. When Celeste didn’t move, her shoulders tightened as she put her hand back on the piano. “I-If that’s weird, you can sit on one of the chairs over there. You don’t have to sit right next to me. But you can if you want to, haha.”

Why was she so nervous all of a sudden? It was possible that Kaede knew Celeste was going to call her out on not eating and she was trying to avoid it. “Why are you here instead of the dining hall? It is lunchtime and your friends are waiting for you.”

“Is it time for lunch already?” Kaede turned to look at the wall clock. “Whoops. Hm… I don’t really feel like eating right now. Tell them to go on without me.”

What did she mean she didn’t feel like eating? Such a foreign concept for Celeste. “When will you be eating?”

“When I’m done practicing.”

“How long will that take?”

Kaede shrugged.

“You are better off pausing now than starving later.” Celeste turned on her heels. “Now, come.”

“I’m alright.”

“Oh?” She turned back to Kaede. “Did you have a large breakfast?”

“I had an apple, I think.”

“You  _ think? _ ”

“I might’ve had one this morning or yesterday morning. I don’t remember.”

Celeste held out her arms. “How can you not remember?!”

“I don’t know!” Kaede flipped her sheet music back to the beginning of the piece. “When I get in the piano zone, it’s kinda hard to remember other stuff. And when I step out of the piano zone, it’s hard to get back in sometimes so I can’t just stop. And why do you care, Miss I-Don’t-Need-Friends-They-Disappoint-Me? You’re literally a meme.”

Celeste had no idea what Kaede was talking about. “I am a vampire, not whatever mythical creature you are referring to.”

Kaede squinted. “...A meme?” She shook her head. “Nevermind.”

“As I have said, you are an ally to me and I will not allow my allies to be defeated by enemies. And everyone’s most perilous enemy…” Celeste leaned in close. “...is death,” she whispered.

“What the hell? Celeste, it’s not that serious. I’m gonna eat  _ eventually _ ; it’s not like I’m gonna die.” Her voice quickly turned intense and stern. “Thank you for caring, but I’m not a baby. Don’t treat me like one.”

Celeste exhaled and pressed her hands together, memories flooding her brain from before she became a criminal to gain money to buy food. “There are people a lot less fortunate than you who would do anything to have three meals a day provided to them.  _ Millions _ across the world who would kill to have the apple you may or may not have eaten.”

Kaede stared down at the piano, her face scrunched up in helpless anger. “Yeah, I know. It’s really not fair. Ugh. Don’t even bring that up. I hate thinking about it.” She resumed playing, a delighted smile returning to her face.

This was exactly why Celeste hated happy, preppy people like Kaede. When they don’t want to face the pain of reality, they don’t. They’d rather hide behind a positivity shield and say that was how to fix the world— with smiles and laughter— than confront hardships. Of course, if Kaede were to see someone begging on the street, she would hand them the sandwich she was eating or toss them a few extra dollars, but these actions were only out of guilt. To ignore someone needing help was a worse feeling for her to experience, so she did everything to keep herself from feeling that way. She cared about other people, but only to make herself feel better.

If only Celeste could be that way. If only Celeste could wipe Taeko away, who’d been on the receiving end of those acts of kindness that helped for the moment, but didn’t fix what caused the situation in the first place.

Sugar water doesn’t fix a broken wing.

If Taeko was gone, Celeste would be able to look at the millions of dollars in her bank account without thinking of the millions like Taeko and needing to donate some of her wealth. The more money she gave away, the longer it would take for her to achieve her dreams. No matter how much money she got, she couldn’t ignore life’s tragedies.

She couldn’t let Kaede starve. Not her.

“Kaede.”

Kaede stopped, annoyed. “What?”

Celeste recalled physical touch being the best way to communicate with Kaede, so she sat down next to her and gently held Kaede’s right hand between hers.

Kaede’s cold, dry, iron-deficient hand.

“Your passion is worrisome.” Celeste couldn’t let Kaede know exactly how concerned she was. “While I admire your dedication to your art, as you would not be able to meet me without it, you must remember your health comes first.” The tips of her fingers that tapped against Celeste’s palm had a little warmth, presumably because of the circulation playing the piano caused, but the back of her hand remained icy, like an undead vampire. The feeling of Kaede’s frigid, but tender hand sent Celeste’s mind racing with intrusive thoughts.

She imagined what it would be like for the two of them to hold hands during a peaceful stroll through a foggy graveyard during the witching hour. Trees with decaying leaves, dirt as dry as her hands, ancestral spirits, each with their own story to tell, staggering through the wind like a moth’s wings; who could ask for anything more? Bringing their affection to those whose everlasting love had already crossed the mortal barrier was the peak romance. 

Hm. Was Kaede that kind of romantic?

No, surely Kaede was the kind of cheesy romantic to bake heart-shaped cookies and create relationship music playlists. Kaede would prefer  _ stupid _ dates like making popcorn too buttery for the arteries and watching a horror movie Celeste wasn’t afraid of, but Kaede would cover her eyes behind Celeste’s arm, knowing she would protect her. It was so easy to imagine something  _ idiotic _ , like Celeste being at a gambling tournament at the same time as one of Kaede’s recitals and right before they start, they receive handwritten love letters describing deep, sapphic yearning for the other, despite the fact that they would see each other again in a few hours.

Fuck! Celeste wasn’t going to think about that. She was going to kill her partner for money, cold-blooded! Kaede was just a friend— an ally, an  _ ally!  _ Kaede was only going to be a servant for her and she wasn’t going to yearn for a servant.

Even if Kaede wasn’t technically her servant yet.

Kaede looked down at her hand between Celeste’s and exhaled hard enough to puff her cheeks. “I know I  _ should _ eat something… but I don’t really feel like it. I actually really wanna try and play Swan Lake on the piano right now. You like Swan Lake, right? There’s no piano in it, but I can still try. Did you know a grand piano has the range to play all of the notes any instrument can play? You like violin. Like, I think a violin goes from G3—” She tapped a key on the piano with her left hand. “—to C8.” She played a higher note.

“No,” Celeste admitted, “I did not know this.” She remembered Kaede’s insecurity on her rambling, which she didn’t understand. Kaede made it clear she was a walking encyclopedia and Celeste would never shy away from new information, regardless of how strange or misplaced Kaede’s speeches were.

“So, I can try and play anything you want. With practice, of course.”

Perhaps Kaede’s inability to value sustenance wasn’t intentional. It seemed more like Kaede was more likely to pay attention to things that felt more rewarding at the moment. She didn’t feel hungry at the moment, but she loved doing what she was already doing. Celeste needed to make eating more rewarding than playing piano. And what was more rewarding than being with Celeste herself? “Allow me to make a deal with you.”

“Yeah, that worked out well last time.”

Celeste laughed sarcastically. “I wish for you to imagine something: a cow. Wagyu.  _ Freshly _ slaughtered. Its tenderloin is carefully cut with a recently sharpened knife,” Celeste held up one hand and mimed holding the meat, gazing deep into her palm with wide eyes, “and the blood drips onto the butcher’s hand, slithers down their arm like  _ maroon snakes, honing in on their prey’s neck—” _

“Ew- _ wuh _ ,” Kaede grimaced.

Celeste put her hand down and back onto Kaede’s. “Ah. Yes. Pardon me.”

“I guess I shouldn’t expect anything else from a vampire, haha.”

Aw. She was playing along. Celeste couldn’t help but giggle. “Hmhm. Of course. Anyway, does a professionally cooked wagyu beef filet sound appealing to you?”

“Are you offering?”

“I am.”

“They’re really expensive.”

“Yes, and…?”

“Right, right,” Kaede nodded. “You’re rich. You’re seriously offering to take me to eat something fancy like that?”

“Correct,  _ but _ … only if you eat. The best restaurants require a reservation—” Celeste sighed, “even at  _ my _ wealth, so I cannot fulfill my promise immediately. Eat three meals a day, and every so often, I shall reward you with the flavor of class.”

Kaede’s shoulders tightened again, except this time it was more comforting, much like the motion one would do under a warm blanket in the winter. “That’s nice of you.”

“If I did not treat my allies well, they would not like to ally with me any longer.”

Kaede narrowed her eyes. “You’re still babying me. I can see right through your tactic. I’m not dumb.”

“I have never once thought of you as unintelligent,” Celeste said honestly. “My sincerest apologies for making you feel that way.”

“You can make it up to me by getting me salmon instead.” She flashed a warm, but exploitative smile. “I’m not really a meat person.” Good. Celeste could never  _ ally _ with a push-over.

Celeste raised, “How about freshly caught bluefin tuna?” It was one of the most expensive fish, but the price meant nothing to her.

“Ooooo, ‘spensive… Okay, we have a deal!”

“Marvelous.” With her agenda completed, Celeste finally let go of Kaede’s hand.

Out of nowhere, Kaede’s face dropped. “Wait, is it the two of us eating? Like,  _ just _ the two of us?” Normally, Celeste could read the expressive Kaede, but her face wasn’t showing a clear emotion. Her eyebrows displayed anxiety, her eyes, excitement, and her mouth, discomfort. “Is that… okay with you?”

Was it okay for Celeste and Kaede to eat together at the VIP section of a nice restaurant, late at night where the table is lit with one overhead lamp and decorated with a rose centerpiece? Was it okay for the two of them to sit not across from each other, but next to each other in a booth where they could try one another’s food and they would be so engrossed in their conversation that their food would get cold? Was it okay for them to have a quiet limousine ride back due to the growing tension between them, both staring out the window, afraid to look the other in the eye, but their fingers inched closer to each other until they entwined?

No! It was  _ not _ okay! No roses, no trying each other’s food, no entwined fingers. Just a meal between allies.

“I have no reason to not be okay with it. A meal is a meal.”

Kaede sighed in relief. “Oh, good.” She stood up from her seat and put her hands on her hips, biting her cheek. “Dammit, I hope I’ll be motivated to play again later.”

Celeste rose as well. “You love the piano. Why would you not feel motivated to do what you love?”

“My brain just doesn’t work like that.” She shook her head. “Sometimes, I get scared piano is just a passing interest like it was for me with yo-yo tricks, Rube Goldberg machines, and Rubik’s cubes. I always get really into something for, like, two weeks and then something else comes along and I get obsessed with that and the cycle continues. But I figure if piano has been with me this long, then I really like it. If it’s here for me yesterday and today, it’ll be here for me tomorrow.”

“You are not just smart, but immensely knowledgeable.” Uuuuugh. Kaede wasn’t making not liking her easy.

Kaede pointed to her head. “You know what’s up here?” She widened her eyes and got close to Celeste. Too close. “Chaos. The being that existed before anything else is in my head!” She backed up and giggled. “That’s my impression of you. You like it? I’m not good with words like you are. And I was into Greek mythology for a bit, too.”

_ Uuuuuugh. _

Celeste amused, “You are a true thespian.”

Fear struck Kaede as she held her hands up. “N-No, I’m not!”

“Ah, was acting not an interest you picked up?”

“...Acting? Ooooh.” She nodded in realization. “Haha. I heard you wrong.”

“What did you hear?”

“Nothing! Let’s go!” She extended her arm for Celeste to hold, ready to escort her. Celeste didn’t even need to tell her. Kaede was a wonderful servant. When she attached herself to Kaede, Celeste told herself this was much better than holding hands. Much more reserved. Still, being escorted like a fair maiden by Kaede made her heart tingle more than anyone else had.

Right before opening the door to the dining hall, Kaede quickly let go, making Celeste assume she didn’t want others to know how much she obeyed Celeste. Locking arms certainly would create suspicion among the masses and it wasn’t hard to believe Kaede didn’t want Celeste’s power over her to get around.

As soon as she caught sight of food, Celeste heard Kaede’s stomach growl. “Aw, cool, it’s burgers today!” By the time Kaede got her food and the two of them sat down with the group, Teruteru had finished Celeste’s gyoza and served it to her.

Shuichi twisted the brim of his cap. “Um… Kaede?”

Before taking a bite, Kaede paused with the cheeseburger in front of her. “Yeah?”

“We’re sorry we didn’t bring you to lunch with us. We weren’t being good friends.”

Kaede snickered. “Don’t worry about it; I don’t really care. Besides, Celeste came anyway. We actually made a deal for Celeste to remind me to eat.”

Kaito lifted his eyebrows. “Oh, you’re gonna be eating with us from now on, Eight-Point-Five?”

Celeste shot Kaito a deathly glare. “I will be eating with Kaede from now on. She happens to eat with the rest of you all, so I am eating with you all by proxy. Do not believe this is of my own volition.”

“Great,” Maki droned. “Do you really need to make yourself feel special by eating something different from everyone else?”

“This?” Celeste held up one of her gyoza with chopsticks. “Gyoza is incredibly famous in my hometown. These little things— so common, so vulgar for me… and yet I absolutely adore them.” They brought back memories of a simpler time when her father, before he left for the military, would take Taeko to the Gyoza Festival every year. He’d carry her on one of his shoulders, allowing her to overlook the crowd and point to any stand she wanted to go to. Her mother never cared to go, but her father insisted he did something special with his daughter, even if money was tight.

Shuichi tapped his chin similarly to Kyoko’s gestures. “You’re from… Utsunomiya?”

Kaede eyed Celeste’s plate. “Can I try one?”

VIP booth.

Rose centerpiece.

Limousine.

Celeste chuckled. “No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever write a scene where someone tells another character who is hyper-focusing to take a break and eat lunch WHILE you are hyper-focusing and skipping lunch? Surreal. It happened like three times. I didn't even realize it because I was that focused on writing.


	14. Compassion and Understanding

_Click! Click, click!_

Kaede leaned one arm against a lethargic cow, her legs crossed at her ankles and her hair pulled back into a ponytail. On the other side of the cow, Junko put her hand on the cow’s head as she tilted her own, running her hands through her hair. Both of them wore overalls that turned into shorts.

_Click! Click!_

“Hm…” Mahiru pulled her eye from the viewfinder. “How about you both hug the cow?”

Gundham leaned against the barn a few feet away from the three girls and with his arms crossed, Gundham scowled, “Her name is Bet-C.”

“Right… Bet-C.”

Kaede and Junko wrapped their arms around Bet-C’s neck and smiled into Mahiru’s camera.

_Click! Click! Click!_

Mahiru looked down at her camera. “Alright, I think these came out pretty good.”

“Lemme see!” Junko skipped up to Mahiru, who flashed through the various pictures she had taken of her and Kaede in the past thirty minutes. “Nice job, girl! These are gonna look great on my Insta. In the next couple of weeks, fifteen million people around the world are gonna pick up on the new farmer’s aesthetic trend!”

“Have you finished capturing souls?” Gundham scornfully asked.

Mahiru rolled her eyes. “Yeah, we’re done the photoshoot.”

“Hmph. No matter how many shots you take, you will never rid Bet-C of the souls of the damned!” After a hard, loud laugh, Gundham led Bet-C into the nearby barn by a rope.

“Jeeeeez, why is he always acting like he’s in some sort of anime?”

Kaede’s mind hooked onto one word that sparked a memory so forcefully that it spilled out of her mouth. “Celeste likes that kind of stuff. Maybe acting weird and dramatic is what happens when you’re really into anime, haha,” she thought out loud. “But I like anime too and I’m not—”

Junko’s eyes lit up. “Celeste likes anime? That’s sooooo weird ‘cus she’s always talking about how much she _hates_ anime. Ha ha ha! I had no idea.”

“Yeah, me neither. She may seem all weird and scary and cool and fancy, but she’s actually into normal stuff.” Kaede wondered if she made her dresses while watching anime. She imagined Celeste lying comfortably on her bed in her mansion, surrounded by servants, carefully making her stitches… but Death Note was playing on her TV. Haha! Would she make her servants watch it with her? Make them give her a potato chip and eat it? Hahahaha!

Junko speculated, “You think she’s into 2D boys like how Hifumi only like 2D girls?”

“Maybe,” Kaede snorted, “but only if they’re vampires.”

Kaede and Junko both started cackling, Junko bending over and putting her hands on her knees. Mahiru, who hid a laugh behind her arm, half-scolded, “C’mon, guys, don’t make fun of her.”

“No, no, no, we’re not making fun of her—”

Junko corrected, “I’d never make fun of my girl!”

“It’s just unexpected, that’s all.”

“Who’d you even hear this from, Kaede?”

“I found out myself. She has this huge coffin in her room full of manga.” Kaede recalled how funny that event was; Celeste being angry over _manga._ She was so insecure about something so stupid. It was kind of cute, actually. “Oh, wait. I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Don’t tell anyone, haha!”

Junko made the zipper motion over her lips. “My lips are sealed.”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone.” Mahiru looked up at the bright sky, thinking. “Hm… though I do wonder if Celeste would get really excited if someone were to talk to her about manga. I try to get pictures of everyone smiling, but she never smiles.”

Kaede squinted, thinking of all the creepy, doll-like smiling Celeste does. “She smiles all the time…?”

“Not genuinely. I’ve taken hundreds, maybe thousands of pictures of smiles, so I think I’m pretty good at knowing when one’s real or not. Hers are never real.” Mahiru bit her cheek and said in a soft tone, “I hope she’s okay.”

Kaede put her hands on her hips. “Lots of people here don’t really smile, like Maki! I don’t think it means she’s not okay, she’s just kinda shy and reserved. Celeste is just insecure and edgy.” She held up two fists. “But we’re friends now and I’m gonna break her out of her shell!”

Mahiru scrunched the left side of her face as if the sun was in her eye. “I don’t know. I think there are some things people deal with that are more than just ‘breaking them out of their shell.’”

Junko groaned, “ _God_ , it’s hot,” putting her phone in her pocket— which Kaede never saw her pull out— and wiped the sweat from her forehead. “ _And_ it’s dusty as hell around here.” An idea popped into her head. “Hey, you girls wanna take a bath?”

Kaede shuddered. “U-Um, no, I’m okay.”

“Huh, why not?” Junko held up two fingers and grinned. “Us blondes and redheads gotta stick together, you know.”

Kaede crumpled up into a nervous wreck. “Don’t you feel weird around a bunch of naked girls? Especially ones you know?” A communal bath was the last thing she wanted. Kaede wanted to treat other girls with respect and feared where her eyes would fall. Even worse, someone else could pick up on it and call her a pervert or a predator. The school was small; word traveled fast. In no time, everyone in school would know how gross Kaede was and isolate her for the next three years. Or _worse_ , people even outside of Hope’s Peak Academy could find out and no one would hire her to play at a recital ever again and she’d never be able to become a composer as she dreamed. Who’d want to work with a pervert?

Kaede’s career would end if she went into a communal bath.

As Kaede tried to keep the thought of bathing with Mahiru and Junko out of her mind, Mahiru agreed, “Yeah, I don’t want to see my friends naked. I’ll shower in my room.”

Junko raised an eyebrow and shook her head. “Alright, weirdos. I’m outta here.” Junko exited through the gates of the ranch.

Mahiru scoffed. “How’s treating girls with respect weird? I guess I’m _weird_ then.” Mahiru idley pressed buttons on her camera. “Would you… call yourself weird too, Kaede?”

“I don’t know. People used to call me Piano Freak. But those people sucked! Celeste says I shouldn’t worry about those people because I actually had a talent! Ooo! Celeste is pretty weird though, but like a cool kind of weird. Did you know she makes her own clothes?! That’s so cool. She has a really good attention to detail. I wonder if she’s good at painting or calligraphy.” Celeste was probably really good at poetry. Oh, she was so cool.

“No, like…” There was a small blush on Mahiru’s cheeks and she refused to look Kaede in the eye. “Are you weird in the same way I’m weird?”

Kaede didn’t know what she was talking about. “You’re not weird, Mahiru. You’re, like, one of the most normal one’s here.”

Mahiru shook her head, apparently disappointed. “...Nevermind.”

Inside the barn, there was a loud fumbling before Bet-C came running out of the barn doors. Kaede and Mahiru ran inside to see Gundham face first on the ground. “Ugh… the hellspawn strikes again.” On top of a haystack next to Gundham and what presumably scared off Bet-C was a large grey cat. It licked the back of its paw and rubbed its ear, cleaning its short hair.

“A cat!” Kaede gasped.

“Oh my gosh!” Mahiru exclaimed, “It’s adorable!”

With their words, the cat looked up, pausing it’s bath and leaving its tongue out.

Gundham leaped up. “Stand back! No Muse of Ivory nor Soul Stealer has the astral levels high enough to combat the Mighty Hellspawn of Trickery!”

“It’s just a cat, Gundham.” Mahiru put her fists on her hips. “You should be thanking us for visiting this little thing! It probably never gets visitors.”

“He is not ‘just a cat,’ he is a demonic beast who grants no mercy! I am warning you to stay away before he makes you his next target! Do not make eye contact!”

Mahiru ignored him and snapped a picture of the animal.

The cat stared blankly at Kaede with golden eyes, his tongue still sticking out. Ah! His tongue! It was so cute! She waved at him, knowing well that he was a cat and wouldn’t wave back.

“Meow!” Kaede said to him.

“Mow,” he replied. He was talking to her! He hopped off the haystack and walked towards Kaede. Gundham stepped in between them, preventing the cat from advancing, but the cat only swerved through his legs. “Mow.”

Kaede knelt down. Cats were so finicky with people, so being accepted by one, especially one she had never met before, was a great honor. “Meow!”

“Mow.”

Kaede pulled out her phone and took a picture of the cat, sending it to the group chat.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** A cat!

 **Kaito Momota:** is that gundums barn?

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Yeah i didnt know there were loose cats around here

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Aw, it’s cute!

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** meow!!!!!!! (^・ω・^ )

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** :3

 **Maki Harukawa:** Stop texting. We’re in class.

 **Kaito Momota:** ur textin too maki roll

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** GET AWAY FROM MY SON!!!!

Whoa, what the hell was Celeste talking about?

“Mow.”

Didn’t matter. The cat had it’s chin lifted, ready to be scritty-scratched!

“Don’t touch the beast!” Gundham yelled. “It is a trick!”

“Mow,” the cat said, probably translating to, ‘Shut the hell up, Gundham, I want some scritty-scratches.’ Normally, a cat would close its eyes in comfort, but this cat stared directly into Kaede’s eyes as he waited.

Kaede extended her hand and as soon as her finger made contact with his fur—

 _“Raow_!” The cat sunk its teeth into her index finger.

“Owowow!” She tried to pull back but his teeth were far into her skin, causing more pain as he shook his head violently. “He’s biting me!”

“Oh my gosh!” Mahiru yelled.

When the cat finally let go, Kaede fell on her back, clutching her hand to her chest. The cat ran circles around her— “Mow! Mooooow!” He was laughing at her!

The cat ran up to Mahiru. “Oh no, nonono.” He bit at her shoelaces and she tried to step away from him, but he was too fast and her main concern was not stepping on his tiny cat toes. Once one of her shoelaces was undone, she found herself tripping and falling onto her back as well.

“Mooow!”

Now it was Gundham’s turn. “Cease and desist, foul beast!” Four hamsters leaped out of his scarf and surrounded the cat, causing him to hiss at the Four Devas of Destruction.

Just before the battle of the century began, the barn doors swung open so hard, they nearly fell off their hinges and lifted dust. Celeste stood in the opening and, with her fists clenched, stomped inside. “Cheri!” she called out in a voice higher pitched than normal. Celeste was supposed to be in class and the distance from the school to the ranch was about a ten-minute walk. She sent her text no more than two minutes prior, so how did she get there so fast?

“Mow!” The cat immediately trotted to her legs, purring as he headbutted her.

Celeste held out her arms and Cheri promptly jumped into them. She finally noticed the two girls on their backs. “What happened here? Did they do anything to you, boy?” she asked in a soft and nurturing tone.

Kaede looked at her upside-down. “I didn’t do anything, he bit me!”

Celeste’s chest rose and fell as she laughed. “Good boy!” She scratched Cheri’s cheek as she held him like a baby.

Mahiru stood up, dusting off her dress and making sure her camera was okay. “Is that your cat, Celeste?”

“A ridiculous question,” Celeste said, holding Cheri tightly. “Pets are prohibited on campus.”

A sweet looking cat that was evil on the inside and immediately ran up to her? Yeah, Cheri was no doubt Celeste’s cat.

“Are you _really_ someone that follows the rules?” Mahiru said sarcastically.

“Hmhmhm.”

“What did you call him? Cherry?”

Celeste shook her finger. “Cheri. It is French for darling. As he is the only one that has made it to B-rank, naturally, I call him darling. However, his full name is Grand Boi Cheri. If he were mine, he would be Grand Boi Cheri Ludenberg. A fitting name for a cat, yes?”

“Well, Cheri bit the _frick_ out of my finger. I need these!” Kaede whined, finally standing up.

Celeste looked at the two red dots on Kaede’s index finger. “Cheri has no vampiric venom. He cannot turn you, so you will be fine.” Celeste squinted, eyeing Kaede up and down. “Explain the overalls to me.”

“What? You don’t like them?”

“I have… complex emotions about your outfit.”

“Junko and I just did a photoshoot for Junko’s instagram. She’s doing, like, a farmers aesthetic thing. I thought it would be fun!”

Cheri stretched and rested his toe beans on Celeste’s chin as she looked Kaede up and down. She pushed an exhale through her nose and smiled. At Kaede or at Cheri; it was unclear.

_Click!_

Celeste snapped her head to Mahiru. “What are you doing?”

Mahiru lowered her camera. “Oh, sorry. I just thought… for a moment, I thought—”

“I would appreciate it if you deleted that.” She put Cheri down. “I prefer to not have evidence of my immortal condition floating around.”

“...Your what?”

Kaede understood what she meant. “Obviously, she’s talking about the fact that she doesn’t show up in pictures.” She nudged her head towards Cheri, hinting that Celeste didn’t want people to know she had a pet on campus.

Mahiru tilted her head back, understanding. “Oooh, I see. No worries.”

“Excellent,” Celeste remarked on the agreement. “Now that I know Cheri is okay, I suppose it is time for me to head back to class. I would not like to miss anything. Anything important, at least, hmhm.”

“You need an escort? I’ll take you!” Any excuse to hold onto Celeste’s arm was a good excuse.

Celeste held her fingers over her mouth. “Hm… a lady of high class such as myself being escorted by a lowly farmer like you? How vulgar…”

“Yeah, I guess that is pretty scandalous,” Kaede giggled.

“Perhaps this is one of the many rules that is meant to be broken. I accept your offer.” As Kaede went to grab Celeste’s arm, she stepped back. “However, you may only walk beside me. I am not touching you; you are filthy.”

Kaede looked down at her dusty clothes, ones that were clean before Cheri attacked her. “Eh, that’s fair.”

After saying goodbye to Gundham and Mahiru, they made their way towards the school.

“Your cat’s adorable when he’s not being mean,” Kaede said, rubbing her finger.

“What cat?”

“C’mon, it’s just you and me.”

Celeste checked to see no one was around them. “I trained him well.”

“I can tell you really love him.” Kaede wondered what it would be like for Celeste to be that concerned for Kaede. Well, it was already nice that she was worried about her eating habits, even if it was a little annoying.

“Hmhm,” Celeste chuckled. “Your mortal ignorance amuses me. Centuries I have lived; I have watched humans proclaim love only to betray later on. Our world is ruled by competition, discrimination, victimization, and violence. As time continues on, society grows and so does its perversion. Perhaps love did exist at some point before my time but now it has completely fizzled out. It only shows how love cannot exist at the same time as hatred.” There was that dramatic edge again. Though, that was a pretty negative outlook on life.

“That’s not true. Even the worst people are capable of love. That’s the only way to fight violence and discrimination and whatever else you said; love, compassion, and understanding.”

“One can understand and love a horrible person, but if that person does not wish to change, they will not.”

“You can help people if you remind them of their bad behavior enough. Some people need a little nudge in the right direction.” Kaede elbowed Celeste’s arm.

Celeste raised an eyebrow. “...You are referring to me?”

Kaede shrugged. “I mean you’re saying all of this because you don’t wanna admit you love your cat. It’s okay to say you love something. Example! I love all my friends. I want the best for all of them and I wanna watch them succeed. I’d do anything to help them and I’d do anything to keep harm from coming to them. See? It’s easy. I bet you feel the same way about your cat.”

“You say we are friends, yes?”

After she held the entrance door open for Celeste, Kaede thought of how cool and amazing Celeste was. She was super talented beyond her ultimate talent, poetic in her own weird, goth way, confident— god, she was confident. She wore what she wanted, said what she wanted, and did what she wanted without fear of judgement. Celeste was so feminine and passive while still being intense.

“Well, yeah, of course we’re friends—” Shoot! Kaede couldn’t say she _loved_ Celeste. Romantic love was different from friendship love, right? Was it? Maybe? Her parents were each other’s best friends but she had heard of plenty of people who had closer friends besides their partners. Was gay love different from straight love? No, it had to be the same, right? Was all love the same? But she couldn’t date her _friend_ ; you only became friends after you dated the person! Right?! Gah!

Would Celeste _want_ to date someone normal like Kaede? Celeste was probably straight anyway. She’d never _like_ like her, but did she even regularly like her?

Kaede, fidgeting, put her hands in her overall pockets—

False pockets. Crap! Curse high fashion!

She put her hands behind her back. “But you say we’re allies and not friends. Friendship is a two-way street! I-I still care about you, though.”

“Do you?”

“What? You don’t believe me?”

Celeste’s eyes slowly rolled over Kaede, searching for a hint of a lie. When her eyes met Kaede’s, the light smile she had faded. “...I do,” she stated as if it were bad news. Her smile returned, but for a fleeting moment, Kaede caught the smallest hint of pain in Celeste’s eyes; not from a sudden attack, but from a deep scar. A scab that was continuously picked at so much that it was never allowed to heal.

Maybe she could like Kaede. Maybe she already did, but Celeste was too much of a mystery to tell.

The moment disappeared when a consistent loud noise in the distance shook through the hallway.

_Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!_

The hallway rattled as if it were an earthquake, but the source wasn’t underground. “Uuum, what the hell is that?”

“Perhaps it is one of Miu’s inventions? Or another one of Nagito’s stunts?” Celeste pondered.

_Boom! BOOM! BOOM!_

It was getting louder, just around the corner. It’s rhythm made Kaede realize it was no earthquake, but footsteps. But there were no Ultimate Giants that went to their school.

Rounding the corner, the duo were confronted by a large colorful mecha. It had to have been seven— no, eight— feet tall, and was extremely bottom-heavy with most of its weight pooling into its hulking legs. On its chest read ‘Robo Justice.’

Despite the robot’s mouth not moving, a high-pitched voice that was slightly distorted came from inside. “Celeste!”

Using context clues, it was easy to figure out who was inside the elaborate armor. “Good afternoon, Tsumugi,” Celeste greeted, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Celeste and Tsumugi weren’t people who spoke often, so for Tsumugi to come rushing down the hallway looking for her was strange. “Do you need me for something?”

Tsumugi pointed an accusatory, rectangular finger at Celeste. “I hear you like anime.”

Celeste blinked. “Pardon me?”

Tsumugi took another loud stomp closer. _BOOM!_ “I knew my Secret Otaku Radar was pinging for someone. You’re an otaku of _culture_ aren’t you?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Slowly, with seething eyes, Celeste’s neck cracked as she turned to Kaede. “ _Do you?_ ”

Uh oh. Uh oh! How the hell did Tsumugi know that? Kaede had only told Junko and Mahiru _that morning_ , so—

_Oh no!_

Kaede pursed her guilty lips. “Uuuuh…” She felt Celeste’s nails dig into her arm. “I— uh, uuuh—”

“ _You, what?_ ”

“I miiiiight’ve told Junko and Mahiru this mor—”

“You told _Junko?!_ ”

“She said she wouldn’t tell!”

“It’s Junko, you idiot!” Celeste threw Kaede’s arm off of her and looked back to Tsumugi with a fake smile on her face. “Tsumugi! There has been a grave misunderstanding.” Her voice was smooth and welcoming like a car salesman ready to trick their next customer. “You see, Kaede here has misspoken to—”

 _BOOM!_ “Do you think Dragonball or Bleach is one of the Big Three?”

Celeste pressed her fingers together, her patience thinning. “Tsumugi, you must listen to me. I have absolutely no interest—”

 _BOOM!_ “Do you think Attack on Titan is nationalist?”

“I do not know what that is.”

 _BOOM!_ “If Death Note was boy love, would Light Yagami be the seme or the uke to L?”

Tsumugi was way too close. “...Shit.” With a quick turn, Celeste dashed in the other direction, her heels clicking across the hard floor.

“Get back here!” Tsumugi called out as she chased her. _BOOM! BOOM! Boom! Boom…_

Kaede stood there, mouth agape as Tsumugi and Celeste disappeared into the distance. Dammit, what the hell, Junko! Ugh. Good to know that she should never trust Junko with anything. Still, Celeste running from a mecha was pretty funny. At least the secret wasn’t something serious. Even if Celeste was her friend, she was still a jerk and there was nothing like seeing jerks get what they deserved. Either way, she would still apologize at dinner.

Or at least she would’ve if Celeste wasn’t too busy with being bombarded by an unexpected visitor.

“But I see Princess Piggles as more than just a typical moe anime. People always want to see their characters as one dimensional and ignore all of her other features! So, I wrote a story exploring some traits people often ignore about some of the characters, but with a meta sci-fi approach. I even made Prince Pickles the antagonist because I thought it would be fun to play with people’s expectations since everyone automatically assumes he’s right about everything. You’ve read my fanfiction, but you should watch the anime and get all the references I make! For example—” Hifumi sat across from Celeste, moving his arms around the more excited he got as he spoke.

Kaede would try to interject but Hifumi would keep going on and on about anime. Damn, was this what Kaede was like when she was talking about piano? Celeste ate her gyoza in silence and refused to make any eye contact with him, hoping he would get the passive-aggressive message to leave her alone. Kaede expected her to throw her plate or something, but Celeste held onto her quiet seething.

With guilt overwhelming her, Kaede tried to gesture her apology by putting her hand on Celeste’s leg, which was promptly shooed off. She looked at the rest of the training team who, aside from Maki, felt bad for Celeste too. Kaito gave Kaede a look by moving his eyebrow in Hifumi’s direction, though Kaede only shrugged, not knowing what she was supposed to do. He casually looked under the table for a moment. It wasn’t clear what he was doing until Kaede felt her phone vibrate.

 **Kaito Momota:** shes ur sidekick kaede! do smthn!

Kaede felt sympathetic to both Celeste and Hifumi, so she tried justifying her behavior.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Do what? i feel so bad but i kinda get where hes coming from. its like when i talk about piano and everyone calls me a piano freak. like i dont think its that much of a bad thing?

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Celeste should be a little nicer and maybe she needs to learn it the hard way?

 **Kaito Momota:** look @ her face man. ive nevr seen her liek that

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** I know. I dont wanna be mean to hifumi though

 **Kaito Momota:** smtms u gotta get a lil mean 2 help ur friends

Kaito huffed, “Hey, Hifumi!” He crashed his fist into his palm. “You better leave Eight-Point-Five alone or you’re gonna get a face fulla some!”

Hifumi paused to push up his glasses. “Oh? Has Mr. Momota called for du-el against the _Alpha and the Omega_?” He held his hand up to his cheek, gesturing a whisper to Celeste despite his voice remaining the same. “Fear not, my little white rabbit, your appointed knight will protect you. While he may be a bigger opponent with brutality on his side, I have studied a much more useful skill,” Hifumi picked up a butter knife, pointed it into the air, “The blaaaaade!”

Kaito got up as well. “You think a butter knife is gonna stop me? No one picks on any of my sidekicks!”

While Celeste kept her composure, Kaede could tell she was cringing on the inside. She had stopped eating and stared blankly at her plate. “Stop this nonsense. It is quite rude to draw attention to one’s self at the dinner table.”

Kokichi, who was one table away from them, overheard their conversation. “WAAAAAAH! Hifumi and Kaito are fighting over my evil step-mom!” With his loud crying, everyone in the dining hall looked over at their table, wondering what Kokichi was talking about. When Celeste shot a sharp glare at him, he immediately stopped crying. “Neeheehee!”

Hifumi stood up and swung the butter knife to the side as if it were a sword. “Your determination is your strong suit but it isn’t enough to stop Otaku Power!”

Kaito got up as well, ignoring everyone’s eyes. “Bring it on, cuck!”

Maki, who was in between them, remarked, “This is so stupid.” She got up and sat next to Shuichi.

Mondo’s voice boomed from across the room. “Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” His chanting was soon accompanied by Miu, Hiyoko, and Angie.

Kiyotaka gasped. “A fight?!” He quickly ran up to Hifumi and Kaito. “Fighting is not welcome in a school environment! If you must discuss your argument, you will discuss it _calmly_ and _cordially_ over tea. Otherwise, it is _detention_ for both of you!”

“Screw that pussy shit!” Kaito exclaimed.

“You watch your language!”

“If you guys are gonna make fun of Eight-Point-Five for being an otaku, you’re gonna have to say it without any teeth!”

Celeste slammed her fists into the table, sending vibrating plates. “I’m not a fucking otaku!” she snapped, her face red with fury. She yelled through gritted teeth, “You’re all a bunch of bitch ass— shit-for-brains— stupid fucking—”

“Language!” Kiyotaka corrected.

“ARGH!” She jumped up and stomped out of the dining hall, hiding her face from the onlookers.

“Eight-Point-Five, wait!” Kaito chased after her.

“Hifumi!” Kiyotaka clenched his fist. “Come with me! I need to give you a stern talking to!” He pulled Hifumi out of the dining hall, but in the opposite direction of where Celeste and Kaito went.

Kaede heard soft giggling to her left. It was Mikan, who was covering her mouth to try to hide her laughter. “Mikan!” Kaede said in shock, feeling bad for definitely making fun of Celeste when she told Junko and Mahiru, now that she thought about it. “Why are you laughing at her?!”

“Hee hee hee… huh huh… huhuhuhuh,” Mikan’s laugh went lower than normal as she clutched the hem of her skirt. With wide eyes, she slowly turned to Kaede. “Karma is… so funny! Huhuhuhuh… she’s finally getting everything she deserves.” She wasn’t wrong. As much as she liked Celeste, she was still kind of a jerk. Compared to a lot of worse things that could happen to Celeste, this was pretty minor, but there was something off about Mikan, evident by her laughter stopping with a quick inhale. “Did you see the pain in her eyes? Hm? Did you? Did you see how tormented she was?”

“Yeah. I did. And it was my fault. I shouldn’t have told anyone.”

Maki shrugged. “If she wants to be a baby and cry over something small like anime, let her. That’s not your problem.”

Shuichi hid his eyes under his hat. “I know Celeste isn’t the best person, but she’s still part of our team. We should be a little more sensitive to her feelings.”

Mikan put her head in her hands, realizing her mistake. “Aaaaaah, you’re right, Shuichi! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! She _is_ a part of our team! We’re obligated to protect her!”

“Exactly!” Kaede stood up. “That’s why I’m gonna find her and apologize.”

As Kaede stormed out of the dining hall, she heard Mikan say to herself, “If she gets hurt, I promise to take care of her. I promise. I promise. I promise. I promise. Hee hee… hee hee hee hee hee… hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee…”

Celeste was likely running back to her room, so Kaede headed towards the dorms. Sure enough, she found her and Kaito arguing in the hallway. Her face was calm and unemotional, obscuring her recent outburst, but her body was as stiff as a board. When she caught sight of Kaede, Celeste grimaced and rolled her eyes. “Is it not clear that I wish to be left alone?”

“Celeste, I’m so, so sorry,” Kaede frowned. “I didn’t mean to tell them; it was an accident.”

“Was it an accident? Are you sure? Because I seem to recall you blackmailing me with this information so you could win a game of poker.”

Kaito stepped back. “Whoa, Kaede, did you really do that?”

“She did,” Celeste confirmed. “She got this information by rummaging through my belongings when I was not in my room. I would be a fool to not believe this was a targeted attack.”

Kaede waved her hands in front of her. “No, no, no, I just wanted to know what was in the coffin! I wasn’t thinking!”

“You _were_ thinking because if you simply wanted to know, you could have asked!”

“I _did_ ask and you said that’s where you slept! I wanted to see if there was like a pillow or something in there!”

“Then why did you open it immediately after I went to the bathroom? You knew fully well that I would not appreciate your snooping.”

Kaede didn’t have a defense for that.

“And,” Celeste continued, “you blackmailed me to win a game because you are aware of my track record. You know I have never lost a game before and you wanted to strike me down!”

“I thought it would be fun to give you a challenge! You said you weren’t mad!”

Celeste held up her silver ringed finger. “ _Obviously_ , that was a lie! And you told the most loose-lipped student in school my secret anyway!”

“I said it was an accident!”

“I bet you _laughed_ at me when you said it, didn’t you?”

Kaede panicked, “N-No, of course not!”

The disappointed disgust on Celeste’s face made it clear she saw through Kaede’s lie.

Kaede’s eyes burned. “I’m sorry…”

Celeste huffed and wrapped her fingers together. “You speak all about love and compassion and understanding and friendship but you have made it clear that it is all talk. I should have known better than to believe you truly cared.”

“But I—”

Celeste shook her head. “I have had enough. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to come up with new results for your ranking.” She turned and pulled out her e-handbook, unlocking her door. “To think I was foolish enough to believe you were C-rank material…” she mumbled to herself.

“Hey,” Kaito called out, “We better see you at training tonight!”

Celeste held up her middle finger before slamming the door behind her.

“Dammit…” Kaito rubbed his neck. “Kaede, why’d you do all that?”

Kaede hugged herself. “I don’t know… I wanted to get to know her better but she’s always hiding.”

Kaito put both of his hands on his head, pressing his hair down. “You can’t force someone to open up. You can only give them the space to do it. What do you think training’s for?!”

“She’s never gonna open up at training when she hates everyone.”

“Are you giving up on her?”

“No! Never!”

Kaito relaxed. “Good. Try to fix it at training. If it doesn’t work… I don’t know. I’ll think of something.” He headed back to the dining hall.

Kaede looked back at Celeste’s door. She knew she had no chance with Celeste, any sliver of hope she had of them being together was ruined, and she might’ve lost a friend, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I first read Danganronpa back when it was fan translated on the Something Awful forums and a year ago, I finally played the localization. Ishimaru is the one character who I still can’t fully wrap my head around calling him by his first name, especially not his nickname. He’ll always be Ishimaru in my heart. Hagakure is a close second.


	15. Masks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that not everything a character says is what I personally believe and the unreliable narrator and character development tags are there for a reason.
> 
> Warning: Conversations on abuse in the middle of the chapter.

Celeste paced around, her mind overflowing with stress. She couldn’t slow down her heartbeat, slow down the excess energy built inside her, so she cried out and screamed at the top of her lungs inside her soundproof room.

Why? Why was life so hard? Why was it so easy for everyone else? Stupid. Everyone was _stupid._ They all ran around happy and positive but Celeste knew better. She knew how horrible and shitty the world really was. All of those happy bastards turned a blind eye to pain and suffering but she had it shoved in her face.

How could she let Kaede do this to her? Why would Kaede do this to her?! The only one who she felt connected to, the only one who she would consider to be a friend, stabbed her in the back! Kaede laughed at her, she laughed at her! Even the most empathetic and loving person she’d ever met laughed at her.

Celeste picked up the antique doll Kaede had bought her. That stupid thing, Kaede actually thought about giving her a gift she’d like, even though Celeste forced her to do it. Kaede could’ve gotten her anything, but she showed that she cared by giving her such a lovely thing.

She thought Kaede cared. Kaede was the only one. Even though Kaede was so annoyingly aggressive with trying to snake out Celeste’s insecurities and fix them, that was part of why Celeste liked her so much. It was passion mixed with impulsivity and obliviousness. The manipulation game was _fun,_ it was supposed to be _fun._ She was so competitive and _stubborn_ but so kind and sweet; how could someone be like that at the same time? And her clothes! Her dorky sweater vests and her goofy tank tops and her adorable overalls were so stupid! Why did Celeste like someone who wore her fucking jacket around her neck?! And those evil looks Kaede gave her when Celeste lost against her— ugh! Celeste loved evil but not towards herself! She had found Kaede’s flawed passion endearing and attractive, but she had gone too far. Kaede didn’t care about her.

Celeste needed to destroy the doll-like how Kaede destroyed her faith in her. She reeled back—

_“Enough with the lies!” Her mother threw the TV remote so hard against the wall that the batteries flung out._

She let in a deep inhale and pulled her arm down, pressing her lips tight as her arm shook with emotional resistance. Celeste smashed her arm into her eyes, hoping the pressure would stop the tears. Sobbing, she knew she was stronger, better than her over-emotional mother. Celestia Ludenberg had class, unlike those loser Yasuhiros.

Losers. They were nothing but losers. Losers that did nothing but get fired from their jobs and laze about all day, never taking action to make their situation better.

Why? Why did Celeste have to come from them? Why did Celeste have to live a tormented life when she deserved so much better? Things could’ve been fine after she got money.

So why did her father betray her?

Of all people, the person she trusted the most was the one to fail her. It was a hard lesson: the people you love will betray you. She knew to never trust again, and yet she trusted Kaede. Celeste had to learn that lesson again.

Carefully placing the antique doll back onto her dresser, she collapsed onto her bed, sobbing some more. She knew if anyone saw her, they would think Celeste was crazy for crying over being an otaku. They would laugh at her for being so sensitive over something so small, but that small sapling had deep roots. She had an image of herself and enjoying anime wasn’t in that image. Now that practically the whole school knew, that image would quickly unravel and they’d all see Celeste as the loser she was born as. A classless, boring, pathetic loser.

This was her own fault. She let her guard down with Kaede, that bastard. Celeste knew about Kaede’s manipulative tendencies and she _still_ let her know too much. If Kaede was out to get her, then maybe the whole team was too. What if they all wanted Celeste’s money and Kaede was the bait? What if the team was trying to break her; make her fall for Kaede so she’d let loose her secrets and they’d all blackmail her into giving them all her hard-earned cash?! What if today was just a test run?! Was she being _honey-trapped?!_

_Ding Dong Bing Bong_

The nighttime bell. It was time for training. She couldn’t let them break her. They couldn’t trick her anymore with their false positivity and their promises of friendship. She wasn’t going to let her guard down anymore! No one could be trusted!

Celeste went into the bathroom and washed her face from dried tears. She was Celestia Ludenberg, smarter than them, all of them, combined! Staring down her reflection into the mirror, unblinking, she repeated, “Celestia Ludenberg. Celestia Ludenberg. Celestia Ludenberg,” until her eyes were no longer red.

Once the filter was on and her deceptive mask was up, she put on her stupid gym clothes and made her way to the courtyard. Everyone was already there as she arrived fifteen minutes late. Not that she cared. She spotted Kaede in a tank top that read, ‘Check out my six-pack’ above six doughnuts. Goddammit.

“Hey, buddy,” Kaede pouted. Don’t ‘buddy’ Celeste!

“Good evening.” Celeste greeted, calm and collected as if she weren’t crying her eyes out a few minutes ago.

“I’m glad you came.”

“I am required to be here.”

Kaede held a snack bar in her hands. “You didn’t finish your dinner, so I brought you a snack bar,” she offered. “You know, you shouldn’t go without eating, haha.” When Celeste didn’t laugh along with her joke, she frowned.

Was she really trying to make up? Or was this a bribe? _Or poison?!_

Ridiculous. It was unopened.

To eat the bar would be to forgive her, but dammit, Celeste couldn’t refuse a gift, especially not an edible one. She took the bar and put it in her jacket pocket. “I appreciate the gesture.”

Quickly, Kaede grabbed Celeste’s arm and pulled her in for a tight, _tight_ hug. A trick!

But with their bodies pressed together, Kaede’s hands on her back, and her chin fitting perfectly into the crook of Celeste’s neck like a jigsaw puzzle, she felt her barriers already coming down.

“I’m really sorry, Celeste.”

Everything felt real, her words, her voice, her hug. Now, the Queen of Liars couldn’t trust her own judgment due to the feeling of Kaede’s breathing on her chest. This wasn’t a manipulation tactic. At worst, she was trying to rid herself of her own guilt. At best, she was dedicating herself to being Celeste’s servant. Unlikely, unfortunately.

“Done crying?” Maki mocked Celeste.

Celeste pushed Kaede off of her. “We are doing fifty push-ups. I am fed up with our contract.”

Maki shrugged. “It’d be easier to deal with if you didn’t whine.”

The two of them got on their hands and knees and after Kaito counted down, another round of competition began and another round where Celeste lost, covered in a thin layer of sweat. “Goddammit!” She slapped the ground. “Why can your stupid, peanut brain not realize how much more beneficial it would be for both you and me if you let me win!”

“Can’t,” Maki said, deadpan. “Everyone would get mad and I don’t feel like dealing with that.”

Kaede stood between them, preventing them from continuing. “So are the rest of us doing push-ups? I can help you with the rest of yours, Celeste.” She gave a goofy smile, one that tried to pretend like there was nothing wrong.

Kaito ran his fingers through his goatee. “I don’t think we need to do any physical training today. How about we all just… talk for a bit?”

Shuichi nodded. “Sure, I like talking with you guys.”

“I did what I agreed to do in regards to our bet. I am done.” Celeste wasn’t able to take a step before Kaede grabbed her arm and yanked her back.

“C’mon, stay with us. We’re a team and we should hang out.” She wasn’t going to let go.

If Celeste wasn’t allowed to leave, she was going to make Kaede regret it. “Fine.”

“Sweet!” Kaede pulled her down to the ground, sitting hip-to-hip with Celeste and still clutching her arm. Subconscious about the amount of sweat she had just produced, Celeste removed a paper fan from her pocket and started cooling herself off. Maki rolled her eyes.

With everyone sitting in a circle, Kaito laid on his back, resting his head on his hands. “The stars look beautiful tonight. Why don’t we share something personal to them? I’m sure they’d appreciate it.” What was he trying to do?

All of the other team members looked at each other, waiting for someone else to say something. There was distinct anxiety in everyone’s faces, Maki and Shuichi laying on their backs as well.

“Um,” Kaede twiddled her fingers. “I don’t think I have much to say. I’m pretty open with you guys, haha.” She kept side-eyeing Celeste and once Kaede realized Celeste noticed, she leaned back too.

“I am not putting my body in the grass where the bugs can make a feast of my skin.” Celeste sat up straight. “Let alone sharing anything. You all know plenty without my permission.” She had to keep her barriers up. The more they knew, the more vulnerable she’d be. If they knew about where she came from, if they knew about her parents… “I should get a pass, in light of the events of the day.”

Mikan kept staring at Celeste, her eyes showing shock, concern, and sympathy. “Are you… okay, Celeste?”

Admitting that she wasn’t would promote questions. Lying that she was would garner pushback. “Why are you asking me this?”

“Because,” Mikan crawled up to Celeste with wide, scrying eyes, “sometimes when I look at you, it’s like looking into a mirror.”

How could Celeste _possibly_ relate with Mikan? “Impossible. That would imply I am a reflection of you and you are a reflection of me. I have no reflection. I am my own being. Now, back off!” Mikan scurried back and laid down, leaving Celeste the only one still sitting up.

“If no one wants to start, I guess I can.” Kaito took a deep breath. “When I was six or seven, my parents died in an accident.”

Shuichi sprung up. “Whoa, Kaito, that’s serious!”

“I know,” Kaito shrugged, “I don’t like talking about it, but I’m comfortable with you guys. I don’t need to hide it. Now, you guys can say something!” He was trying to get everyone else to be more ‘comfortable.’ Stupid. Celeste wasn’t falling for it, but apparently Maki was.

“...I don’t have parents. I grew up in an orphanage.”

Celeste snarked, “A lack of a parental figure explains your sickening attitude.”

Maki didn’t care. “You have parents, what’s your excuse?”

Kaede snapped her head towards Celeste. “Celeste! Don’t be insensitive! Be nice!” Kaede’s aggressive personality was… enjoyable. Celeste fanned herself faster. Kaede pointed at Maki. “You too!”

Shuichi laid back down, grabbing the grass at his sides. “I’m not… a real detective. I’ve only solved one case.”

Celeste shrugged, “It does not mean you are not a detective, it means you are a weak one.”

Underneath the brim of his cap, Celeste could see tears.

Kaede slapped Celeste’s arm.

“That ain’t true, man,” Kaito called out to the stars. “You’re a real detective, otherwise, you wouldn’t be here! Hope’s Peak scouted you for a reason.”

“You don’t get it, Kaito.” Shuichi wiped his face with his arm. “I only solved that case because I got lucky. I found the key piece of evidence by chance and even still… I wish I hadn’t. Detectives are supposed to find the truth but the way he looked at me… I don’t know. Sometimes, the truth doesn’t need to be found out. The look in the culprits eyes; I’ll never forget it. He was only trying to avenge his family, and I took that from him.”

Mikan asked, “Is that why you wear your hat?”

Shuichi nodded. What a pathetic story.

Kaede squinted. “I don’t think you need to wear that hat all the time. That was a one time thing and it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again.”

Shuichi, feeling Kaede’s unintentional condescending tone, wanted to shift the attention off of him. “What about you, Kaede? Do you have something to share?”

Kaede bit her cheek, nervous. “Um… one time I was at a sleepover with these really popular girls and I wasn’t feeling well and I accidentally threw up on the host’s shirt and she never talked to me again. Sorry! I couldn’t think of anything else.” There was definitely something she wanted to say but chose to hide it instead.

“Oh!” Mikan exclaimed. “That’s happened to me! One time I vomited over my dad’s computer and he told me I couldn’t go anywhere until I cleaned it spotless. It was kind of hard because I was still vomiting and I had diarrhea at the same time and it was spewing everywhere—”

Celeste interrupted, “Mm. You can spare us the details.”

Mikan continued, “He told me I had to get a toothbrush and clean it and if it wasn’t working after I was done, he’d take away my allowance so he could buy another computer. Luckily, it did work. He still took my allowance though…”

“Uuuuuh…” Kaede caught something in Mikan’s story. “He took you to the doctor, right?”

Mikan shook her head. “No, I knew it was a stomach virus since antibiotics weren’t working, so I just drank a lot of water to keep from getting dehydrated and let everything pass.”

Kaede looked at Celeste for validation. Celeste didn’t hear anything wrong. “He still should’ve taken you to the doctor.”

Shuichi tagged along. “Yeah, and why did he take your allowance anyway?”

“Because I was being a bad kid.” Mikan said it like it was obvious. Celeste could relate to being a bad kid, though she wasn’t entirely sure Mikan was one. Plus, Celeste rarely got any punishment and when she did, she didn’t listen to it.

Kaito jumped in. “You didn’t do anything bad, Mikan.”

Kaede sat cross-legged. “Yeah, I’ve done actually bad stuff and my parents didn’t make me do anything like that. I used to hit people when they made me mad but I’d just go into time-out.” She waved her hands in front of her. “I don’t do it anymore, though!”

Mikan held her face. “Time-out is way worse than what I had to do! You get completely ignored for days!” She was right. At least physical punishment or manual labor made it clear your parents cared and were angry and not just putting you somewhere so you didn’t bother them.

Kaito’s eyes widened. “Days? Your parents ignored you for days?”

Mikan nodded and there was an uncomfortable silence between everyone.

Eventually, Maki verbalized everyone’s thoughts. “That’s cruel.”

Mikan looked as if she had never heard that word before. “...Cruel?”

“I don’t know your parents,” Shuichi said, “but ignoring your kid for a long time doesn’t feel right.”

Kaede agreed. “Yeah, I can’t imagine my parents doing something like that. And your dad getting mad at you for, like, doing what bodies do sounds wrong too. That’s not fair! And why would they take your money? I mean, I guess it’s not technically your money but that’s still mean! Like if they say they’re gonna give you money and they don’t, it just—” Kaede pushed the hair out of her face. “I don’t know if I’m making any sense. All of that seems wrong to me. It’s like bullying! Like if someone here did that to you, it’d be bullying!” Kaede groaned. “I’m mad now.”

“I’m sorry!” Mikan apologizes, “I didn’t mean to make you mad! I’ll stop talking…”

“No, I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at your dad. Like that’s _literally_ bullying.” She sat up and crawled over to Mikan, hugging her. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Mikan.”

“Y-You’re right… it’s bullying…” As Kaede hugged her, tears started fountaining out of her eyes. Kaito took his jacket off and wrapped it around Mikan to comfort her. Maki didn’t move but Shuichi patted her back.

Seriously? Why did she need comfort? Celeste had been through similar, if not worse, situations and she was just fine. She didn’t cry _publicly_ about it. Is that why they comforted Mikan? Because she cried?

Would they do the same thing if Celeste shared her stories?

“Alright,” Celeste snapped her fan shut and hopped up. “You have used up enough of my time. I am not going to watch this soap opera.”

Kaede dropped her jaw. “Celeste…! Mikan just told us—” She clenched her fists. “This is important!”

“Not for me.”

“ _Yes_ , it is.” Kaede pointed a finger at her. “You need to support your friends!”

Celeste tilted her head. “Because you are the most supportive friend. Of course.”

“This is different from that.”

“How so?”

“Because she…” Kaede paused, thinking as she tried to find the right words. “She just said—”

Celeste took advantage of Kaede’s fumbling, not in the mood to be patient or respectful. “Exactly. There is no difference.”

“You didn’t let me finish! Give me a chance to figure out what I wanna say! I’m not good with words like you are!”

“I do not care.”

“Why not?! You usually listen!” Kaede cried out, sorrowful.

“Why not? I wonder why I would no longer care,” Celeste said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, okay?! I know I messed up but that doesn’t mean you should be mean to Mikan!”

Mikan interrupted, “It’s okay, Kaede. I’m okay. The rest of you guys are… nice to me.”

Sighing and sitting up, Kaito said, “Yeah, I think we should… pause this for now. Things are getting pretty, uh…” He let his voice trail off. “Even if we didn’t say much, I feel a lot closer to you guys!”

With everyone standing up and Mikan handing back Kaito’s jacket, Shuichi said, “Yeah, I… think I feel the same way. And it’s nice to take a break from all the exercise.”

Kaede and Celeste continued to stare at each other. “Frankly,” Celeste said to Shuichi even though her eyes weren’t on him, “I gained nothing from this experience.”

Kaede scowled, “You could be a _little_ more considerate.”

“Hm. So could you.”

Her words definitely stung, visible by the way Kaede pressed her lips together.

Kaito rubbed his neck. “Hey, Eight-Point-Five, can you hang back for a second?”

Celeste flicked her wrist at Kaito. “I have nothing to speak with you about. Good night.”

“Aw, c’mon, it’s important.”

“What are you gonna say to her?” Kaede asked, suspicious.

“Nothin’.”

Meanwhile, Shuichi quietly asked, “Hey, Mikan... you wanna watch a movie?”

Mikan tensed up. “A movie? With _me?!_ ”

“Ah… yeah, if you want to.”

She fell into his arms. “I’d… love to!”

Helping her stand onto her feet again, Shuichi asked, “Maki, you can join too, if you want.”

Maki, whose back was turned from already heading back to her room, paused. “What kind of movie?”

Shuichi looked at Mikan. “You can pick.”

“Something…” Mikan shook with joy, “gory… hee hee hee!”

“...Pass,” Maki declined. “...But thanks for the offer, I guess.” The three of them parted ways.

Kaede crossed her arms and puffed out her chest. “Nothing…? You’re telling me you’re _not_ gonna tell her she needs to be nicer? I already told her that.”

“Kaito tried to calm her down. “Kaede, it’s not—”

“No, no, it’s fine. _I_ have a lot of things I wanna tell her, so I’ll wait for you.” She anxiously tapped her foot. Was she challenging Celeste or Kaito?

Celeste flipped hair out of her face. “Do you not believe you have said enough for today? I do not wish to hear it.”

“Hmph. _Fine_ ,” Kaede scowled. “I’ll just leave, then.”

“Good riddance.”

Kaede took a step back, still facing them. “I’m leaving now.”

“Bye.”

She took another step back. “Have fun with Kaito,” she said with spite.

“I will.”

Kaede scowled and finally looked away, kicking the dirt like a child. Away she went, stubborn as usual. It was kind of sad watching her leave. Maybe Celeste could’ve gotten another hug from her.

No. She didn’t want that. Celeste shook the thought from her mind. “Are you going to waste my time, Kaito?”

Kaito held a thumb up. “No, it’ll be worthwhile, I promise!”

“That sounds like something you would say if you wanted to waste my time. What do you want?”

With a big grin, he said, “I want you to look at the stars with me.”

A waste of time. “Goodbye.” She looked to the school building, ready to go to bed. She wanted to push the day behind her.

Unfortunately, Kaito jumped in front of her. “Dammit, Eight-Point-Five, the fuck is your problem?”

“My problem?”

Angered, he put his hands on his hips and looked at the ground. “You don’t get it, do you? You don’t understand anything, you and Maki-Roll. It’s pathetic.”

“Pathetic?” She laughed to herself. To think that Kaito, the leader of a pathetic team, would have the nerve to call Celestia Ludenberg pathetic. The irony tickled her. She turned around with a smile that concealed rage. She held up one finger, ready to say something but pulled it back into a tight fist. “You are calling _me_ pathetic?”

“Yeah,” He furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms. ”The way you act— always hiding, never telling the truth— is pathetic.”

Celeste put her hand over her mouth. “I assure you I am an honest being,” she lied. “It is my air of mystery that makes people believe that I am untruthful.” She played with her hair. “People have a certain expectation of me and when I do not fit that, I am labeled a liar. And once I have been labeled a liar, my words are never heard.”

“It’s not just your words, it’s your whole self that’s a lie, isn’t it?”

“Pardon me?”

“The Celestia I’m talking to right now isn’t the real Celestia, is it?”

Shit. Shit, shit, shit! How could he know? He had to have figured out from unraveling her secret interest. Fuck! “Are you accusing me of having a dual personality?” she asked, playing it cool.

“I’m accusing you of wearing a mask. You and Maki-Roll. I don’t know why but you two have your masks up so much that you mistake it for your real faces.” Kaito looked at Celeste with compassionate eyes. “But I saw the real Eight-Point-Five today and I’ve seen glimpses of her before, like when you first got here.”

“You saw me lose my temper,” Celeste corrected. “There is not much else to it.”

“The Celestia I know would never lose a bet to Kaede, especially not _two_.”

He was right. Celestia Ludenberg never lost a bet. It was Taeko Yasuhiro that snuck through and threw away their victory. “Luck comes in waves. Kaede simply got luckier than me for a moment.”

He continued, “The real Eight-Point-Five is somewhere inside of you.” Kaito clenched a fist. “If you keep her hidden, no one will ever get to know her and she’ll never make any valuable connections. And if you live a life without real connections, then you’re beyond pathetic. You’re a goddamn loser.”

Celeste took a step back. “L-Loser?!”

He shouted, “Are you a loser, Eight-Point-Five?!”

“Of course not!”

“Exactly! Which is why I want you to gaze into the universe with me!” He plopped down onto the ground, patting the space next to him for her to sit. “C’mon, Eight-Point-Five, you can take your mask off, just for a moment. No anger, no sadness, no stress. Just you, me, and the universe.” He laid his jacket on the ground. “If it makes you more comfortable, you can lay on my jacket instead of the grass.” At least he was considerate.

“What is to be gained from staring at balls of gas?”

“It’s not just balls of gas, it’s where you came from!” He waved his hand in front of him. “Celestia: born of the stars!”

“It means ‘heavenly,’” she corrected.

“Close enough! It’s the name you were born with so, technically, you were born from space!”

Celeste clenched her jaw.

“So, this will be easy for you,” Kaito continued. “Just look into space, have it pull you in. Look through the stars, the planets, the galaxies… and explore.”

She laid on his jacket and looked up at the sky, placing her hands on her stomach. Celeste realized this was the first time she could see more than a few twinkles in black. Hope’s Peak Academy had nice, clean air compared to the polluted city she came from.

The entire sky was sprinkled with glitter. Some stars shined brighter than others, some appeared bigger, some collected to seemingly form shapes. She was suddenly hit with the realization that some of those stars weren’t even stars but galaxies with a billion more stars and planets. In between the shines was empty space, presumably. The human eye could only see so far. It boggled her mind that empty space could exist. That nothing could exist. She continued to admire the cosmos until she remembered she wasn’t alone.

“Are you expecting me to say something?”

He shrugged, “Nah. If you want to, you can, but you don’t have to.”

“I see,” she lied. She didn’t understand why Kaito had stopped her to look at the stars, even if they were beautiful. He had to have some ulterior motive. He had just called her a loser, after all. “Do _you_ wish to say anything? Perhaps share the knowledge of an Ultimate Astronaut?”

“You want me to say something? I assumed you’d wanna sit in silence.”

“Oh. Well… yes.”

Another few minutes passed with neither of them speaking but paranoia still plagued Celeste’s mind. Why did Kaito ask her specifically to do this? She initially thought he was trying to out her as a pathetic loser, but he really seemed to just want to watch the stars with her. There had to be something; something Celeste could squeeze out of him. Maybe he was doing all this so he could get something incriminating out of her.

“It is astonishing how Earth ended up being the only planet to allow life to prosper on it. The only planet that we know of.”

“It is,” Kaito agreed. “But I bet there’s some aliens out there waitin’ to discover new life like us.”

“It is statistically likely. Perhaps those beings have already found us.” Celeste wanted to give a hint that she was suspicious of him without giving it away. “Perhaps something out of space has landed on Earth and slowly altered humans into becoming soulless monsters; monsters coming together to prey on the innocent.”

“Maybe it didn’t make people monsters,” Kaito speculated, “but made life harder somehow.” Celeste was surprised Kaito had a brain big enough to think about what she said. “I don’t think it’s humans that’s the problem with Earth, it’s Earth itself.”

“Really?” She gave a fake laugh. “Environmentalists would not be pleased with your words.”

“I don’t mean it like that. I’m sayin’... you think other planets got the same issues we got?”

Celeste probed, “What issues?”

Kaito sighed. “Life on Earth is hard on all of us. No matter what you do, the world will always throw something at you to make it worse. And that’s not people’s fault ‘cus everyone understands how bad life can be, so when things get really bad for one of us, we gotta help hold them up.” His eyes went soft. “When my parents died, I thought my life was over. When you're a kid, your parents are your whole life, so when they were gone…” His voice trailed off, his mind returning to the past.

Celeste said nothing, unsure of what to say. She stared into the night, knowing looking at him showed emotional support. Celestia Ludenberg wouldn’t support anyone.

Kaito exhaled. “But things weren’t over for me. My grandparents took me in, making sure I wasn’t alone. They’ve lived long, hard lives and get sick every so often, but they still went out of their way to care for me. They know how evil the world could be and did everything in their power to hold me up when I was down.”

“I recall Kaede saying that was what the training was for.”

“Pretty much. We all need to learn to not do everything on our own.”

“I am perfectly fine on my own. My problems only arose after I joined this stupid group. It is the whole team’s fault.”

“Maybe it’s ‘cus you didn’t know they were problems before. But hey! The training’s working! At least you admitted there was a problem.”

Celeste clicked her tongue at her slip-up. She was saying too much and needed to stop but stopping would only be incriminating. Plus… talking felt a little better. “It is not my fault that everyone is so untrustworthy. People will always betray you when it benefits them.”

“Who taught you that?”

“I learned that myself. Being the Ultimate Gambler has taught me a plethora of lessons.”

“Nah… someone had to have seriously betrayed you for you to think that.”

Celeste chose to say nothing. She had already said too much.

“I think that’s what training is for you. You gotta learn to trust people.”

There it was. He was trying to get Celeste to trust Kaede again! “How can you say that when Kaede betrayed me a few hours ago? I do not appreciate you telling me this is all my fault when I did nothing wrong.”

He shook his head. “I don’t mean that. It _is_ Kaede’s fault, but it sounds like you think she was tryna hurt you. People make mistakes, but you can make the choice to trust that they didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t know why Kaede did all that stuff, but I believe in her. She would never hurt someone on purpose, especially not you.” He laughed to himself. “You don’t hear her when you’re not around.” He mimicked Kaede’s voice. “‘She’s not bad, you just need to give her a chance!’ ‘You guys just don’t know her!’ ‘Celeste is sooooo cool!’ That one’s pretty common.”

Of course, Kaede would say that. She was friendly and handed out compliments like it was nothing. **“** I am sure Kaede says things like that about everyone.”

Kaito agreed, “Yeah, but it’s… different. She was the first one to see behind your mask and really likes the real you.”

If Kaede knew the real Celeste, she’d certainly find her uninteresting. Kaede only cared for Celestia Ludenberg. Barely. In a world where there was no Celestia Ludenberg and only Taeko Yasuhiro, Kaede would never return any feelings.

Kaito looked away from the stars to look at her. “I’m only following in her footsteps. She believes in you, and I believe in her, so I believe in you too.” He bit his cheek. “I get if you don’t trust her after today, though. I get if it’s hard to forgive her and I get if you choose not to forgive her at all. In the end, it’s your choice. In the meantime, you can trust me! I’d never betray you. Kaede isn’t your only friend, you know.”

She turned her head to face him, not finding a lying bone in his body. Kaede was the same way, but her betrayal was immediate. Was Kaito trustworthy? So far, he hadn’t done anything worse than calling her that stupid nickname. In fact, he was the only one that defended her when Kaede wronged her. Actually, he must’ve sensed her tension with coming to training and tried to make her feel better by having everyone share something personal so she wouldn’t feel alone.

Celeste sat up. “Kaito, I have a question for you. You must be honest with me.”

“What’s up?”

“What is the real reason you kept me behind?”

His words were so matter-of-fact, so sincere, that it shocked her. “I just wanted to spend time with you.”

“That is all?”

“That’s all. All this talkin’ we did… that’s just ‘cus you wanted to talk. I woulda been just as fine if we had stayed silent. But I’m glad I got to talk to you one-on-one, too.”

Kaito cared. Kaito was the only one that cared. He wasn’t trying to trick Celeste. Were the rest of them the same?

“Do you truly believe that I am a pathetic loser?”

Kaito slapped his forehead. “I guess I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t think that, sorry. I couldn’t figure out how to get you to stay but— whatever. There’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

She wanted to test something. “Hm. It is alright. Do not call me that again. It was… hurtful.”

“I won’t, I promise.” He didn’t say anything about her being hurt. Maybe… Maybe he was trustworthy. Maybe she could let a piece of her burden off of her shoulders.

“I… did not share a personal thing at training today.”

Kaito smiled and shook his head. “That’s alright. You’ve had a hard day.”

“No, I wish to tell you something.” She held her hand, pinching her finger with nervousness. “You must promise not to share it with anyone, not even other members of our group. Pay close attention as I will only say this once.”

“Alright.”

Celeste took a deep breath and looked down. “My first time gambling, I won a few thousand dollars. I gave that money to my father so that me and him, and me and him only, could escape from,” she didn’t want to say all the details, “the situation we were in.” She felt her shoulders slouch. “Instead… he betrayed me by giving that money to my mother, who spent it on a purebred cat.”

She waited for a response from him. She waited for him to investigate her further. Instead, he scratched his goatee. “I don’t really get what that means, but it sounded important to you. Thanks for telling me.”

She stood up and held out the ends of her shorts to curtsey him. “Thank you for listening.”

“Hey, wait,” he paused, standing up as well. There was an unexpected seriousness across his face. “I know that it can be hard to talk to people and even when you open up, it can be pretty scary not knowing what the other person is gonna say. So… if you ever feel alone and have no one to talk to,” he pointed up at the sky, “you can always ask the stars. They’ll always listen and they’re always there, even during the daytime when you don’t see them.”

Celeste rolled her eyes at his words. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

“I’ll see ya tomorrow!”

Celeste said good-bye to him and made her way towards the dorms, her hands in her jacket pocket. She could feel the snack bar Kaede gave her inside one pocket and her e-handbook in the other. She pulled both of them out and stared at them.

She turned on her e-handbook.

_Ultimate Gambler: Taeko Yasuhiro_

Maybe Kaede wasn’t trustworthy.

She looked at the snack bar.

Maybe Kaede really did just make a mistake.

Celeste wanted it to be an accident. She wanted to forgive her. She wanted the pain to go away and for things to go back to where they were before. Their relationship couldn’t grow at the state it was in now.

Maybe Celeste couldn’t forgive— Kaede wasn’t Kaito— but she could try. She unwrapped the snack bar and ate it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s not just bullying, it’s abuse, by the way.


	16. Overwhelmingly Sweet

The next morning was rough for Kaede. It was drizzling as Kaede left her dorm— the rain was nice sometimes but not when Kaede was in a bad mood— and Celeste chose to sit next to Kaito instead of her, pissing Maki off for taking her seat. What the hell did he say to Celeste last night? With every conversation they had, Celeste never spoke to anyone other than Kaito and actively avoided looking at Kaede. It wasn’t fair. _Kaede_ was supposed to be the one getting close to her, not Kaito!

That’s not what she wanted to think. Kaede wanted Celeste to be friends with her friends… but friends with Kaede first!

This was fine. She’d just get closer to Maki!

...Maki who rarely spoke and got extremely uncomfortable when Kaede bumped into the pager hooked onto Maki’s belt loop.

Lunch was a little better. While Celeste still didn’t talk to Kaede, she at least looked at her. Kaede, knowing Celeste was still mad at her and wanted to give her some space, resisted the urge to watch how Celeste’s black lipstick managed to stay on while she ate.

When everyone was done, Kaede stood up, ready to accept that Celeste was never going to talk to her again. As she was leaving, she heard someone call her name behind her. She felt a tap on her shoulder, turning around to see it was Celeste. She touched her, she touched her shoulder! “Yeah?”

“May I have a word with you? In private?”

Kaede nodded furiously before they went out into the quiet hallway.

“I have,” Celeste looked away, “ _perhaps_ ,” she sighed and blinked, “been unkind to you.”

“You’re apologizing to me?”

“Last night, out of spite, I interrupted you because I knew it would upset you. It was unnecessary and I should not have done that.”

Kaede stepped back, surprised. “Oh, um…” She put her hand on her hips and sighed. “Yeah, that really hurt my feelings.”

Celeste’s apology was really fighting to come out of her. “I… recognize that you have been trying to mend our relationship with your best attempts and… arguing with you and insulting you will not make it better. Would you agree?”

“Yeah, totally.” Kaede guessed, “Are you saying you forgive me?”

Celeste tilted her head and played with her hair, thinking. “Hm… it is difficult. I cannot give a solid yes or no answer. My head and my blackened heart tell me two separate things.”

“If your heart’s black, you should get that checked out, haha,” Kaede joked, trying to soften the mood.

Celeste gave a light smile and patted Kaede’s cheek. “Your chipper attitude is insufferably amusing.” Celeste left her hand there, with her index finger laying right under Kaede’s ear. Kaede resisted the urge to lean in closer. “I wish to forgive you but your blabbering mouth has dropped your rating by a significant amount of points. If I am going to trust you again, you must accumulate a large number of points in a short amount of time to make an impact on me.”

“How do I do that?”

Celeste showed a mischievous smile.

Kaede dropped her shoulders, realizing what she meant. “...Are you kidding me?”

“Of course not.”

“Celeste, c’mon—” Kaede felt a sudden pain in her ear. She leaned into Celeste’s hand as she was being yanked to the side.

Celeste’s face screamed vengeance. “I will be cashing in your afternoon service to me. You will serve me for the rest of the day and I will be forced to trust you as you cannot disobey. A lovely plan, yes?”

This was going to be _bad._

Ah, screw it. Kaede gritted her teeth. “You know what? Yeah, it is. If this is what it takes for you to trust me again, I’ll do it!”

Celeste let go and clasped her hands together under her chin with a bright smile. “You are a wonderful person, Kaede, dear.”

“...Dear?”

“Yes, I call all my servants ‘dear.’ They are very dear to me, so I call them such.”

“Aw…” Even if it was a common name she used, it made Kaede feel special. Was Celeste the kind of person to give pet names to her partner like ‘baby’ or ‘love’ or ‘sweetheart?’ What would Kaede call her: doll since she looked like a porcelain doll? Maybe ‘queen’ because of her regality? “Thanks,” Kaede giggled, rubbing her ear.

“Now,” Celeste’s eyes turned sharp and sadistic, “get on your hands and knees and beg for my forgiveness!” Okay, ‘bitch’ was now a contender for pet names.

“Celeste.”

“I believe it is only fair since you humiliated me. And do not act as if you have never begged before,” Celeste said, coy as hell. She pointed down at the ground. “Now, grovel!”

“Sure. Whatever.” Kaede swung her arms to the side. “I don’t even care.” She got on the ground and looked up at Celeste, speaking genuinely, but exaggerated. “I’m sooooo sorry, Celeste! I’ll do anything for you to forgive me! I’ll never tell your secrets and I’ll never insult you because you’re a perfect person with a beautiful face with perfect makeup and—”

Kaede heard footsteps behind her and instantly slammed her mouth shut. Slowly, she turned around to see Byakuya standing right next to her with his arms crossed. “Uh… h-hey,” she awkwardly greeted.

Celeste asked, “Why did you stop?” She grabbed Kaede’s chin to turn her back. “You were doing wonderfully. Keep going.”

“And, uh… everything was my fault and, um...” This was a lot worse with someone else watching her. “

Byakuya finally greeted, “What is this nonsense?”

Celeste joyfully rocked on her heels. “Kaede is simply apologizing for out of place behavior.”

To Kaede, Byakuya scolded, “Didn’t I tell you a month ago to leave her alone? Look at where it’s gotten you. Pick yourself up and spare any remaining dignity you have.

Celeste took an intimidating step closer to him. “What a strange thing for you to say, _Byakuya_.”

Byakuya bit his tongue.

“E-Everything’s fine!” Kaede tried to shoo him away. “You can keep doing what you were doing before. Please.”

Celeste lightly kicked at Kaede’s leg. “Less talking, more groveling.”

Kaede pressed her forehead onto the floor, trying to forget Byakuya was there. She just had to remember how sorry she was. “You’re an amazing person and I’m so sorry I ruined our friendshiiiiiip!”

She heard Byakuya mumble, “You skinny types are insane…” before walking away.

Celeste let out a haughty laugh. “Excellent work, dear! However…” She rested her elbow on her wrist. “It was not as satisfying as I had hoped. Five forgiveness points.”

“Out of?”

“One million.”

“Are you _serious-uh?!_ ” Kaede hopped up. Celeste continued to laugh, making Kaede suspicious of her motives. She put her hands on her hips. “Oh, I see. You’re just being difficult. Whatever, whatever. What’s next?”

Celeste gasped. “Oh? You are excited for the next thing? You are proving yourself to be a wonderful servant.”

“Just wanna make you happy.”

“You know what would really make me happy?” She gave a big grin and spread out her fingers. “Tea! Sweet, delicious milk tea! Go make it for me, dear.” She said ‘dear’ so casually that it made Kaede bashful.

“Alright, then. I’m gonna make you the best milk tea you’ve ever had!” Kaede declared.

“I love your spirit! You are setting me in a great mood.”

They returned to the dining hall, with only a few people remaining. Those people didn’t matter; awesome milk tea did! Kaede pulled out the same chair that Celeste had sat in minutes before. “How do I make it the way you want it?”

Sitting down, Celeste said, “You are remarkably intelligent. Use the encyclopedic database that is your hyperactive mind.”

“It would be a lot easier if you just told me.”

Celeste pressed her chin to her right shoulder and smiled. Yeah, she wasn’t going to tell her.

Trotting into the kitchen, Kaede slapped her hands together. “Alright! Gonna make some milk tea!” And she wasn’t going to mess it up; Celeste’s trust was on the line!

How did she make milk tea? She could look it up but _nah_ , Celeste said she was smart and she was gonna prove it. She’d never made tea before— her mom usually made it for her— but she’d figure it out.

Okay. Milk tea. It’s tea. Gotta get a kettle to boil water. But the noise when the kettle was done was too loud and stressful, so she chose to get a pot instead. She held a saucepan under the sink, filling it with water.

Why did they call it a saucepan and not a saucepot? What was the difference between a pan and a pot? Weren’t pans flat? Saucepans weren’t flat. Maybe pans had handles to hold with one hand and pots had handles to hold with two hands. Could a bucket with handles on the sides classify as a pot? What about bucket hats? If buckets were pots, then could there be pan hats? If pans were anything with a handle, then pan hats would be hats with a brim.

Kaede realized she had zoned out and the saucepan had been overflowing with water. Whoops! She poured half of it out and put it on the stove, turning the heat all the way up.

Now to wait for the water to boil. She wasn’t going to sit there and wait for it, so she had to find something else to do. Something productive.

Tea. She had to find the tea. She went through the back and found the tea stash. Shoot. It was a lot of tea. What kind of tea did Celeste like? Teas were separated by color and Celeste’s favorite color was black, so that’s what Kaede would go with. But what flavor? Well, she had a French accent, at least she thought it was French, so Kaede picked french vanilla.

Bam! She set the tea down on the counter. Next, milk. When she pulled the milk out of the fridge, Kaede wondered when she was supposed to put the milk in and how much. It was called milk tea and not tea milk, so maybe the milk went in first. Crap, was she supposed to use milk instead of water? No, the tea leaves wouldn’t infuse right. Hm. If it was tea milk, then that would imply it was mostly milk and not mostly tea, so she probably shouldn’t add too much.

But when? Before or after the tea was made? Did boiling, watered-down milk taste good? But if she put in the cold milk at the end, the tea would get cold too, right?

She didn’t know which option to pick, so she did all of them. Kaede added a little bit of milk into the boiling water. Then, she added the tea leaves, more milk, and stirred. Now that she thought about it, the water definitely shouldn’t be boiling as much as it was. She turned the stove off and waited a little longer for the tea to steep, then added more milk to cool it down.

Okay! It looked good! Killing it so far! But how was she going to get the leaves out? She used the spoon she stirred with to shovel the leaves out. Hopefully, she got them all. Now she needed a teacup. Easy. She got a black one out of the cupboard. She picked up the saucepan—

Hot hot hot! Kaede quickly put the saucepan back down on the stove before she burned her hand. She could use oven mitts but oven mitts were for the _oven_ , so she got a paper towel and wrapped it around the handle. Holding the teacup over the sink with one hand and the saucepan of milk tea in the other, Kaede, as carefully as she could, poured the milk tea into the cup, spilling a lot. That was fine. That’s why she did it over the sink.

Now with a teacup of milk tea, she was ready to hand it to Celeste!

Or was she?

Celeste had said ‘sweet, delicious milk tea,’ not just ‘milk tea.’ It needed to be sweet. Milk and honey went well together, so she set the teacup down and got a bottle of honey. She couldn’t taste it, so she just squirted a bunch into the teacup, adding a little more for good measure, and stirred. All done!

Returning to the dining hall, Kaede handed over the teacup. Celeste took a sip and jumped. “Did you add something to this?”

“Just milk and honey.”

“Honey?” She set the cup down. “Why would you add _honey?_ ”

Uh oh. Kaede definitely made a bad decision. “You _said_ ‘sweet, delicious milk tea,’ so I made it sweet.”

“The milk is what makes it sweet, you fool.” She didn’t sound angry but with the scrunch of her nose, Celeste was displeased. She held the cup out to Kaede. “Drink it. Consume what you have made.”

Kaede took the teacup from her, eyeing the black lipstick stain. Turning the cup around, she took a sip.

“Drink it all,” Celeste commanded, her hands folded in her lap.

Kaede did as she was told. Yeah, it was pretty sweet, like watered down honey. Kaede could barely taste the tea but at least it had a nice temperature! Honey water was pretty good, kind of!

“How is it?”

“It’s not _that_ bad.”

“You almost had it perfectly if it were not for the honey,” Celeste concluded, getting up from her chair and standing in front of Kaede.

“I’ll do it again...” Kaede said, dejected.

Celeste held up her hand. “No. With almost no information, you made tea that is most accurate to your character.”

“Um… is that a good thing?”

Celeste bit her lip, looking Kaede up and down. “If it were anyone else who made it, I would despise your tea.”

“So, you liked it?”

“I did not.”

Typical Celeste. “Celeste, I’m trying to make you happy, but you’re being really vague and confusing. What do you want?”

“I would like a book to read.”

She was going to have Kaede run around all day, huh? If that’s what it took for forgiveness— “Alright,” Kaede clapped her hands together, “let’s go to the library and pick something out for you.”

“You are telling,” Celeste put a hand over her chest in shock, “ _me?_ ”

“Ooooh my gooood.” She adjusted her tone. “Do you want to go to the library?”

“Much better. I do.” She held out her arm. “Shall we?”

Kaede latched on and led the way. The library wasn’t a part of the main school building; they had to walk the path outside to get to it. Unfortunately, the rain had picked up since Kaede left her dorm.

Celeste eyed Kaede’s backpack. “Do you have an umbrella?”

“I do!” She took it off and pulled out a small, pink umbrella.

“Good. Keep me from getting wet. With every drop that lands upon my flesh,” she looked at the smooth skin on her delicate hand, “you will lose points.”

Kaede examined her umbrella. “I don’t know if my umbrella is big enough for the two of us.”

“Unfortunate for you.”

“Don’t you have an umbrella in your room?” She pointed a thumb towards the dorms. “Why don’t we go get that?”

“I want the book now.”

“How about I go get whatever book you want for you and you can stay here?”

“No.”

“...But it would be more practical—” She wasn’t going to win this fight. Celeste probably wanted her to sacrifice her dryness for her. “I’m not gonna argue. Let’s go.” She shook her arms, psychologically preparing herself for getting drenched, and opened her umbrella. They both stepped out of the building with Kaede carefully keeping the umbrella above Celeste’s head.

Celeste gently clapped the tips of her fingers to her palm. “Good. You are learning. Never argue with me.”

“ _Today_ , I’m not arguing with you.” With Celeste on her right, she got a little bit of coverage from the umbrella but her left side was already getting wet. Since she was wearing a skirt, her leg would be easy to dry but not her sweater vest, which held in all the rainwater. Dammit, this sucked.

Walking along the gravel pathway, there was a section where the small rocks were removed, leaving a dent in the road full of rainwater. As they approached it, Celeste made no clear attempts to avoid it as it wasn’t on her side of the path. Selfish. Kaede couldn’t move out of the way, else the umbrella wouldn’t be over Celeste anymore, so she tried to jump over the puddle. It wasn’t easy making big leaps without moving the umbrella, so she ended up with her left foot ankle-deep in the puddle.

“Aaaw! Argh! Uuuugh!” she exclaimed, trying to shake the water off of her soaked shoe. Celeste wanted her to step in it and suffer. Whatever! She wasn’t going to complain! If this was what she needed to do for Celeste to forgive and trust her again, so be it!

Entering the library, Kaede did her best to shake off the rainwater and ring her hair out. Celeste, dry as a bone, stretched with a smile. “Good job, dear! Now… what book, what book?” She scanned the library before gently clapping her hands together. “Carmilla. I will reread Carmilla.”

“Cool,” Kaede nodded, still bitter about how wet she was.

Celeste didn’t move.

Oh, right. Kaede pointed at herself, remembering she was a servant.

“Yes, go get it.” Celeste waved her arm at one of the highest shelves. “It should be up there.”

Kaede eyed the ladder and pulled it close to where Celeste gestured to. She placed one foot on the bottom rung, pausing as she felt her wet sock squish against the flat of her shoe.

Celeste asked, “Are you afraid of heights?”

“Nah.” She quickly hopped up the ladder, using her arms to propel herself high enough to skip every other rung.

“Oh my,” Celeste covered her mouth. “The Aries displays her ram horns.”

Kaede looked down, judging Celeste. She looked so tiny from where Kaede was. Celeste was always small, though. Kaede wondered if enough training would allow her to be able to lift her up. Celeste would probably like it. “The Sagittarius makes a haha, funny joke.” She ran her finger over the books, finding _Carmilla_ and pulling it off of the shelf. Sliding down the ladder, she handed the book to Celeste.

“Are you familiar with this story?” Celeste held up the cover. “I… wonder if you would enjoy it.”

Kaede shook her head. “Never heard of it. What’s it about? Is it about music?”

“Vampires, of course.” She ran her finger through the edge of the pages. “It is notable for its early use of female homoerotic vampires.”

“Homoerotic…?” Oh no, maybe Celeste knew Kaede liked girls and was trying to out her! Kaede shook her head quickly. “Wh-Why do you think I’d like that?!”

Celeste was astonished. “I… only meant that the novella is short and easy to read.”

“O-Oh,” Kaede blinked. “Maybe I’ll read it if I can get my brain to focus on it, haha.” She looked into Celeste’s squinting eyes. Shoot, she didn’t think she was homophobic, did she?! “I-I don’t mind if there’s gay stuff in it, by the way.”

Celeste squinted harder.

“Like, I think gay people are really cool and you should be nice to them because they have it really hard and it can be dangerous and scary to come out sometimes especially when they’re around people of the same gender and if they’re their friends and no one wants to make their friends uncomfortable like I’m fine with gay people and if I found out one of my friends were gay I’d be fine with it because they’re still my friend—”

Celeste held a finger close to Kaede’s mouth. “Stop talking.”

“But— But I’m just saying—”

“Stop talking.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Stop.”

Kaede shut her mouth.

Celeste put her hand on Kaede’s chin, examining her. “I am not sure the exact intentions of your words but it would be most beneficial if you did not continue.” She nodded her head as Celeste let go. “Now that I have my book, I would like some background noise as I read.”

Kaede, with her head too clogged with the fear of sounding offensive, said, “You want me to do something about that, right? I can try to make bird sounds.” She put her fist to her mouth and wiggled her other hand over it like they do in the movies and went, “Coo!” It didn’t sound like a bird at all; instead like she put her fist to her mouth and went, ‘Coo!’

Celeste sighed, a small chuckle escaping her as well. “With your obsession with music, I would imagine your first thought would be to utilize your talent.”

“Oh! Oh my god, yeah— sorry, my brain just went pfft. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you want me to play piano for you? Yeah, let’s do that!” She swung the umbrella out and opened it with one swift motion. Celeste raised her eyebrows.

Making their way back to the main building, with Celeste on her left side now, Kaede limped with her drenched shoe. They approached the puddle again, except this time, Celeste let go of Kaede’s arm and slid her arm around her waist, pulling her closer to avoid the puddle.

“This is okay with you…?” she asked in a tone slightly inquisitive and slightly demanding.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kaede was too embarrassed to return the gesture.

“Interesting…” Celeste continued to look forward. Kaede didn’t know what that meant.

Returning to the main building— Kaede tried her best to dry herself off— the duo went into Kaede’s research lab.

Celeste stared out the window, watching the rainfall they just escaped from. “When God cries out, Earth is given life.” Celeste put her hand on the cold window. “The world is fueled by His pain.”

She was so weird and edgy, oh god. Kaede didn’t know what to say to that. “Do you ever look at one of the droplets on the window and pretend they’re racing other droplets? I do that all the time on long car rides.”

Celeste smiled. “Yes, it is a good way of passing the time as my chauffeur drives me home from a long night of gambling.” While Celeste looked out at the rain, Kaede continued to stare at the water’s reflection over her skin.

She was so pretty. So pretty. No wonder she had a bunch of people following her; Celeste had been on Kaede’s mind for weeks. What would happen if she found out about the sudden thoughts Kaede had about her? About how every touch sent a shiver down her spine or how fast her heart starts beating just from Celeste being in the same room as her? If a boy felt that way about Kaede, she’d be grossed out, so Celeste would likely feel the same way.

Grossed out. Kaede was gross. The thoughts that plagued her mind were disgusting, especially towards a friend.

Celeste side-eyed her. “Are you going to play something?”

Kaede blinked herself back into reality. “Oh, sorry! I, uh, spaced out for a second, haha.” She dashed over to the shelves with all the sheet music and cracked her knuckles. “Do you have anything specific you wanna hear?”

Celeste sat down on a chair next to the window, her legs crossed. “I would be interested in listening to Swan Lake. It would give me enough time to read my book.”

Kaede scratched her head. “There’s no piano in Swan Lake.”

“You said you could play anything I wanted.”

“With practice!” Kaede looked around the room, in search of sheet music for _Swan Lake_ . Luckily, one of her textbooks had collections of sheet music for classic pieces, including all of _Swan Lake_ , but it wasn’t like it magically translated to piano. “Um… I guess I can read from the violins and interpret it from there. It won’t sound the same.”

Celeste opened her book. “I do not care. Play for me.”

With a sigh, Kaede sat down at the grand piano and tried her best to prop up her textbook so she could easily read the notes and flip the pages. She shook her arms, lightly placed her hands over the keys, and began playing.

Was it colder in her lab than usual? No, it was her soaking wet sweater vest that kept her freezing. Whatever! She could play in the cold! This was just intense practice like people who meditate under waterfalls! Kaede continued letting her hands do the work and tried her best to keep her focus on the music.

She hoped Celeste liked it.

Kaede imagined Celeste resting at the top floor of her mansion, alone with nothing but a book, longing for someone to come save her.

She wanted to know if that was what Celeste looked like now. A quick look would be fine. Kaede turned her head to catch a glance at Celeste, only to see Celeste lift the book higher. Was she just looking at Kaede with those scary, red contacts over her alluring eyes with long lashes? Surely, Celeste would find her book more interesting than her. Kaede was used to performing with hundreds of pairs of eyes on her but Celeste’s...hoo boy.

It wasn’t until her body trembled that Kaede noticed she didn’t hear the piano. She had stopped playing! How could she have gotten so distracted that she forgot to play the piano, her one thing! Her attraction was getting too far now. Nothing and no one got between her and the piano! She squeezed her biceps, trying to reset her head.

“Cold?” she heard Celeste ask.

Kaede turned again, staring into her eyes— the only thing Kaede could see since Celeste’s face was mostly obscured by the book. “A little,” Kaede said softly.

“Then take off your vest, dear.” Celeste took her eyes off of Kaede and put her attention back into _Carmilla_. “Your shivering is unpleasant to me.”

She wouldn’t be shivering if Celeste didn’t decide to be difficult. Kaede lifted her vest over her head and slapped it onto the floor next to her. Her button-up was a little wet, but not nearly as much as her sweater vest, so relief was immediate. Kaede continued playing.

Still, she couldn’t help but watch Celeste peacefully read.

Again! She got distracted again!

Celeste slapped her book onto her thighs. “Is there a problem?”

“Um, its— uh,” Kaede had to come up with an excuse. “It’s not easy reading sheet music for violin and turning it into something I can play on the piano.”

“It cannot be _that_ hard,” Celeste asserted, condescending. “I have seen sheet music for the violin before. It looks the same as the ones on the piano.”

Mildly insulted, Kaede stated, “Just because it looks the same doesn’t mean it is.” She remembered Celeste said her mother was a violinist. “You said you couldn’t be bothered to learn an instrument and your mom never taught you, so how would you know?”

“If I wanted to learn, I could easily.” Celeste looked back down at her book, signaling that she was done with the conversation.

“Hm.” Kaede thought about how fun it would be for her and Celeste to play music together. Even thinking of Celeste playing something as emotional as the violin was enough to get Kaede to say, “I could teach you.”

“How so?” Celeste turned the page. “You are a pianist.”

“Piano can be hard at first but once you learn how it works, you can move on to other instruments easier. Like learning a new language!”

“I have no interest in learning how to play an instrument. Too much work.”

“You’d appreciate music more if you did. Let me show you some stuff!” Making music with Celeste, expressing themselves with their hands, seeing her smile as she sat next to her… “C’mere!” Kaede jumped up from her seat and grabbed Celeste by her arm, dragging her to the piano.

“Hey! As my servant, you cannot grab me like that!”

“As your servant,” Kaede sat her down, “let me give you a service by teaching you something. Knowledge is power!”

“Kaede, dear, I have already said—”

Kaede got down on her hands and knees and pouted. “Pleasepleasepleasepleaaaase?”

Celeste smiled. “Keep going.”

Kaede made her voice agonizingly high pitched. “ _Pleaaaaaase?_ If you let me teach you, I’ll let you teach me about gambling!”

Celeste sparked up. “You wish to be my protégé? Hmhm, that is an _excellent_ deal!”

“Woohoo!” Kaede bounced back up on the bench and slapped the textbook out of the way. “So, uh, first things first, don’t worry about all the keys; that can be pretty overwhelming. For now, just worry about,” she outlined C major with her hands, “these.”

“These are the basics of the scale, yes? Notes in alphabetical order— A to G— starting with C?” Celeste confirmed, removing the long metal ring around her finger.

“Yeah, yeah! You already know this stuff!”

“But of course.”

“But you’ve never played?”

“I have not.”

Celeste had only displayed knowledge of the simplest part of music, but it still prompted Kaede to say, “You’re amazing.”

Celeste giggled. “Naturally. Continue the lesson.”

“Okay, I’m gonna show you,” Kaede ruffled through her backpack and pulled out blank sheet paper and a pen, “the scale. The spaces, for now, mean— Wait. Do you already know where the notes correspond to?”

Celeste flipped her hair. “Yes, it is elementary school knowledge.”

“Great! So, you can read sheet music?”

“Of course.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll write down some notes,” She used whole, half, quarter, and eighth notes to write down a simple melody of sixteen notes and placed it in front of them, “and you play them.”

“Easy.” Celeste lifted her left hand, having it relaxed and curved exactly how it was supposed to without Kaede having to tell her. Oh boy, oh boy! The first note was B as a whole. Kaede watched her eyes go over the paper and the keys, taking a little longer than she expected. She finally pressed B with her index finger, holding it longer than she needed to. She could’ve used her thumb but that was okay; She was a beginner. Celeste side-eyed Kaede, who nodded in approval.

With each note Celeste played, it was clear she _could_ read it, but not automatically. She had to go through each letter starting with C and count her way up. She knew that the beats were different and knew which ones were longer than others, but they weren’t completely accurate. Some whole notes were a whole and a half, some eighths were sixteenths. Slowly, Celeste’s confidence in her ability faded from her face.

Nonetheless, Kaede clapped. “You did great,” she assured. “You got all the notes right, even if you took a moment to get it and the beats were a little off but you definitely know what they are.”

Celeste knitted her eyebrows. “You are saying I did not do great.”

“No, you did. Everything else comes with practice.”

Celeste pursed her lips in disagreement.

“You don’t believe me? Literally do these same notes for five minutes and you’ll get it.”

“Of course _I_ will. If I want to do it perfectly, I will. Watch; I will do it perfectly without hesitation.” She played the notes again, this time without pausing but almost every note was wrong. “See? It was perfect, yes?” Kaede couldn’t tell if Celeste was trying to impress her or her ego was just _that_ high.

“Uh…” She didn’t want to be harsh. “Not… really.”

Celeste leaned closer. “It was _perfect_ , yes?” Yeah, it was her ego.

“No,” Kaede said bluntly.

Celeste clicked her tongue. “Kaede, dear, have you forgotten you are currently my servant?”

She shook her head. “No, I didn’t forget. What servant lies to their master?”

“A good one!”

“No- _wuh_!” She held Celeste’s soft, dainty hand. “Listen. You’re great and amazing, but you’re not perfect and that’s okay! I don’t expect you or anyone to be able to pick up piano immediately and you shouldn’t either. You’re doing great so far and if you weren’t, I wouldn’t think any less of you. Just because you aren’t perfect doesn’t mean you’re awful.” Kaede already knew that Celeste was insecure on the inside, so she squeezed her hand to comfort her.

Celeste rolled her eyes. “You give such grand speeches based on nothing.”

“I’m saying what I feel.”

“You are so emotional.”

“I have a lot of feelings about you.”

She seemed surprised. “Do you, now?”

“I—” Kaede didn’t want to say too much. “I really do think you’re amazing,” she softly said. “I’ve never met someone like you. You’re so smart and fancy and pretty,” Kaede felt her face heat up, “and you’re weird but in, like, a cool and fun way. You’re just…” she sighed. “You’re amazing.”

Celeste smiled and shyly looked away, covering her face with the back of the hand Kaede wasn’t holding. “You are… as overwhelmingly sweet as your tea.” Ah! She was so cute! Was this the real Celeste without her egotistical shield? Kaede expected her to bask in her compliments, not send one back. She felt like she could cry from how much she liked her. Her heart was beating out of her chest and skipped when Celeste turned back to look her in the eyes. “Your sweetness is rotting me. I believe you have… earned C-rank.”

“Oh, that’s… that’s a big deal, isn’t it? No one’s been higher than that, right?”

“Correct.” A worried look flew across Celeste’s face. “Do you… find it strange that I rank you in such a way?”

Kaede shrugged. “No, not really. It’s a little stressful, though. I’d rather not be ranked. You can just say that we’re good friends; it makes me feel better.”

Celeste groaned. “I _suppose_ I can start considering your feelings. However, I will _only_ consider. No promises, hmhm,” Celeste hopefully joked.

“So, are we cool now?”

“As long as you are willing to dedicate your life to me, yes, you could say we are ‘cool.’”

“Uh… I’m not doing that.”

“Then the heat lingers on. There is more trust to be gained, but you are… forgiven. Now,” Celeste gestured towards the piano, “you may continue with your lesson.”

“Right! Okay!” Kaede rubbed her hands together. “With enough practice, you’ll have enough knowledge of music that you can be on your way to learning the violin. And we can play something together!” Kaede was so excited that she bounced in her seat.

“That is rather ambitious.”

“Doesn’t hurt to dream.”

Kaede spent the rest of the afternoon giving piano lessons to Celeste, dreaming that one day, Celeste would allow herself to fully express herself, hoping to fully share her interest with the girl she liked.


	17. Laughing Fits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to figure out how to keep AO3 from being weird about italics and a shit ton of spaces before and after chapters. I know it has something to do with copy-pasting from Google Docs.
> 
> Warning: Some abusive language in italics about 3/4 through. Hurt/Comfort in this chapter.

What to do, what to do? Inside the rec room, Celeste stared at Kaede as she tapped her chin. They had agreed a week ago that if Kaede was to give her piano lessons, Celeste could teach her about gambling. With all the games in the rec room, this was Celeste’s chance to finally have a regular opponent.

She wanted to teach Kaede about various gambling strategies she had learned but even playing a simple game without stakes was enough to get Celeste’s blood pumping with excitement. What would she choose: to build Kaede’s skills to make her a challenging opponent or to simply have fun with her?

She had to remember why she was here. Celeste didn’t come to Hope’s Peak Academy to have fun or be enticed by the innocence of Kaede’s thumbs under her backpack straps; she needed guaranteed success in life.

Clapping her hands together, Celeste announced, “Kaede, I will be teaching you the most important rule when gambling against others. You must learn how to lie.”

“Lying?” Kaede rocked her foot back and forth. “I’m not good at making up stuff.”

She wagged her finger. “Lying is not just telling a false story, it is obscuring the truth.”

“So, I shouldn’t say anything?” Kaede questioned, tilting her head in confusion.

“You are making the mistake of believing lies are all verbal. The body is very telling, particularly yours. You are quite expressive.”

“Am I?” She stomped her foot to the side, clutching her straps harder. When Celeste gestured towards Kaede’s body language, she looked down. “Oh. Well, I can’t help that.”

“You _can_ , with training. All you need to do is suppress your emotions. Gambling can be stressful so you must learn to not react.”

“That sounds hard.”

“Imagine a switch that controls your emotions and turn it off. It is fairly easy,” Celeste shrugged and grinned, “at least for me. Hohoho!”

“I don’t think it’s a good thing that you can turn your feelings off that easily.”

“It is a useful skill not only in gambling but in de-escalation.”

Kaede frowned. “Do you have to do that a lot?”

Celeste recalled all the times she watched her father be as dull as a rock, preventing her mother from harassing him further out of boredom. “Some gamblers get sent into a violent rage when they lose and some try to pick at your emotions with insults to get information out of you. It is a safety tool.” The depressing look in Kaede’s eyes made Celeste want to cheer her up. Kaede’s emotions radiated and infected her so much that Celeste needed her own practice to keep Kaede from influencing her. “I want you to look me in the eyes for ten seconds straight without reacting.”

“Okay, I can do that. Easy!”

“Ready? Go.” Celeste took a deep breath, making her face go blank. She immediately saw Kaede furrow her eyebrows, making that stupid angry-focusing face. “No. Start over.”

“What? We just started.”

Celeste poked Kaede’s forehead. “You knit your eyebrows. Relax.”

She loosened her face and dropped her arms. “Okay, let me try again.”

“Go.” One. Two. Three. Staring into Kaede’s bright eyes, it was easy to notice them slowly getting wider and the edges of her lips curling into a smile, like a mother holding their newborn for the first time. The softness of her face eased Celeste’s heart. “Stop.” She held her hand up to keep from looking at the warm Kaede exuded any longer. “It is the smallest of movements, but your expression is changing.”

“Your eyes are really pretty, sorry!”

“Uh—” That caught her off guard. Was that what Kaede was thinking about? It was flattering but Kaede always gave compliments like that. It wasn’t some form of flirting like Celeste might’ve wished for if she had a soul capable of love. Celeste took a step closer, holding her hands to Kaede’s dry cheeks to keep her head in place. “Focus, dear.” She really needed to moisturize.

“Okay, okay.”

One. Two. With her hands on her— the tips of Celeste’s fingers lightly grazed Kaede’s hair— and their noses only an inch apart, Celeste had the recurring urge to plant a kiss on her lips.

Three. Four. Turn the switch off. Turn it off. Celeste felt nothing as she used her peripheral vision to see Kaede’s fingers dance as if she were playing the piano. Her mind was on music but all of its valuable attention, despite its distractibility, was on Celeste.

Five. Six. Could Kaede like her? Did she even like girls? Last week, her reaction to Carmilla was strange but when Celeste tested the waters by putting her arm around her waist, she wasn’t uncomfortable. And she wasn’t disturbed by her hands on her face either.

Seven. Eight. Kaede had already failed the training but Celeste couldn’t stop gazing into her eyes and the light pink shade that faded onto Kaede’s skin. If Kaede would only give some sort of permissive gesture— a lean in or an arm around her— Celeste didn’t know if she’d be able to resist.

Nine— 

“Ah!” Kaede shouted, stepping back. “I can’t do it, I’m not good at lying. L-Let’s do something else!”

“Yes, of course,” Celeste calmly agreed. That was too close. They needed to do something that wouldn’t allow physical touch. “Let us try another strategy.” Scanning the games on the shelf, Celeste spotted Uno, recalling the number of times she played it with another person.

Zero.

Once she had enough money that she could afford more than a shitty, hand-me-down deck of cards, she bought the game, only for her father to be too tired to play or her mother to find other things more interesting. Celeste would end up playing by herself, pretending to play against imaginary people. Now, she had a real person to play with. She grabbed the stack of Uno cards on the shelf. “Come.”

Sitting at one of the couches, Celeste shuffled—

Kaede sat to her left, her legs crossed, her upper body facing Celeste, and right arm laid casually on the back of the couch behind Celeste. “...Kaede?”

“Yeah?” She was completely unaware of personal space.

Celeste pinched her fingers together in irritation, squeezing away the desire to nuzzle into her arm. “There is another couch. One right across from me.”

“What?” She finally noticed their distance. “Oh my god! I’m super close to you! S-Sorry!” She promptly jumped up and sat across from her.

Now emotionally balanced, Celeste shuffled the cards. “You are familiar with Uno, yes?”

Kaede nodded. “I used to shuffle the cards and organize them for fun!”

She came up with an excuse for why they were playing Uno specifically. “Good, so this may be easy for you since you know the cards well. I will teach you about counting cards, a key strategy in card games. We will be playing with Uno cards since there are twice as many cards in a regular deck. By training your brain with a more difficult task, you will effectively master an easier one.”

“Cool! Memory: the one thing I’m good at!” Kaede said sarcastically.

Celeste couldn’t help but giggle at her joke. Why it was funny, she didn’t know. She dealt out the cards, soon holding half the deck in her hands. “Okay, Kaede, dear, there are two of each card except for zeros. Four wild cards, four plus four cards. Remember the cards we both put down. I will make the first move.”

“Why do you always go first?”

“It is the way of the world.” The first card on the table was a red seven. She put down a red three.

Kaede placed down all of her threes of varying colors.

Celeste held out her hand. “Whoa, whoa, hold on. You cannot stack cards like that.”

She jutted out her chin. “Yes, you can. I always play like this.”

“Who lets you do that? It ruins the game.”

“Everyone plays it like this.”

“No, they do _not._ Put those cards away.” Her tone was harsh but a smile persisted on her face. Kaede clicked her tongue and made a _legal_ move.

As the game continued, Celeste put down a yellow plus two card. Before Kaede drew from the deck, Kaede put down a green plus two card. “Draw four,” she said with a cocky attitude.

Celeste shook her head. “You cannot stack plus two cards.”

“Since when?!”

“Since the creation of the game.”

Kaede bit her cheek. “That’s the best part of the game!”

“I do not make the rules,” Celeste shrugged.

“No,” Kaede pulled out the rules. “I swear you can.”

“You cannot.”

After searching through the rules, Kaede found nothing. “It doesn’t say I can’t.”

“It does not say you can.”

Kaede held out the paper with a smug look on her face. “So, I can. If it doesn’t say I can’t, then I can.” She pointed at Celeste with a playful finger. “It’s called a loophole, Celeste.”

Celeste chuckled again. “These are the rules!”

“No, they’re not! Here, I’m gonna look them up.” Kaede took out her phone.

Relaxing, Celeste said, “Tell me what you find.” She watched Kaede’s face drop. “It says you cannot stack plus two cards, yes?”

Kaede slammed her phone next to her. “Wrong!” She had a smile on her face too. “They don’t know how to play their own game!” She threw down the plus two card. “Stacked! Draw four!”

“I will not!” They both broke into a fit of laughter. This was so much better than playing alone. Maybe, just maybe, Celeste would open her mind to allowing one person in.

Just then, the door to the rec room creaked open to reveal a well known purple blazer.

...What?

Oh, _shit_ , what day was it? What time was it?! Celeste turned to the clock. Tuesday. 4 pm. She had completely forgotten! How could she forget about the most important time of the week?!

After a quick gloss over the room as usual, Kyoko’s eyes stuck onto Kaede. “Kaede? I didn’t expect you to be here.”

Kaede rotated. “Hiya! Yeah, I guess I don’t come here often.”

Kyoko crossed her arms. “You didn’t kick her out, Celeste?”

Kaede swung back around to face Celeste, pouting. “Why would you kick me out? Am I not supposed to be in here?”

She didn’t want Kaede to leave, but Celeste needed Kyoko’s attention entirely on her. Fuck, what was more important? She already knew Kyoko hated her, so she had to find a way to win her back. She had to not only be mean to Kaede, but _excessively_ cruel.

But Kaede’s sweet pout… Did she even have it in her?

“You will stay. Kyoko and I play Othello at the same time every Tuesday and I wish for you to watch.”

“Oh, I see.” Kaede dropped her jaw in understanding. “ _Oooh_ , that actually— you guys are both super smart so it’ll be a fun game!”

Celeste commanded, “Go get the board.”

“You can get it,” Kaede stubbornly pointed out.

Goddammit, Kaede, not now! “ _Get the board._ ”

“Say ‘please.’”

Kyoko stood next to the couch, watching their interaction. Celeste couldn’t show any submissiveness in her character. “Do not argue with me.”

“Don’t argue with _me_. Why are you being mean all of a sudden? You were fine before Kyoko came in here.” God fucking— _Kaede!_ Could she pay attention to social cues for two seconds?!

This was a lost cause. Celeste looked to Kyoko and politely said, “Kyoko, be a dear and set up—”

“No.”

Celeste lifted her arm in disbelief. “Excuse me? You always do.”

“Not today.”

Kaede’s defiant behavior was contagious. Celeste growled, hopping up to get the game. She slammed it down on the table. “Kaede, come sit next to me.”

At least she listened this time, letting gravity plop herself next to Celeste on the couch, leaving space for Kyoko to sit down across from them.

To Kaede, Celeste softly asked, “Do you know the rules of Othello, dear?”

Kaede shook her head.

“Watch closely and learn.” As Celeste set up the board, she explained the rules to Kaede. “It is known for being easy to learn, but difficult to master. However, watching two masters play may allow you to learn faster. With your intellect, perhaps one day you will beat me, unlike Kyoko.” Celeste laughed, concealing her mouth with her hand.

Kaede picked up one of the Othello pieces. “I bet these would feel really good in your mouth.”

Celeste snapped her head to Kaede. “Do not eat the pieces!”

“I wasn’t! They look like really smooth mints, that’s all!”

“Oh my goodness.” She put her hand on her forehead. “Just… pay attention.”

“I am, I am,” Kaede bent forward, pressing her hands on her cheeks and resting her elbows on her legs. She was so adorable with her cheeks smushing into her eyes, making them squint. Could she even see?

Celeste had to focus. “Kyoko, do not let Kaede distract you.”

Kyoko shrugged. “Same with you.”

As the game went on, Kaede watched closely, occasionally going, “Ooooo” to moves she thought were remarkably smart decisions on both sides. With her angle, Kaede couldn’t see Celeste’s face, so she’d sometimes turn and smile, which Celeste couldn’t help but smile back. Kaede was so quickly invested and even if she didn’t say it, Celeste could tell she was rooting for her teammate. Playing alone was fun and Celeste was used to it as an underground gambler but having her own personal hype girl made her want to win even more.

But Kyoko caught each glance, each comforted smile at Kaede.

Not only that, but every now and then, Celeste would stare at Kaede for so long that she’d miss Kyoko’s play, needing to embarrassingly ask her what move she made.

The game neared its end with most of the spaces filled up. Now it was time for the random play that kept Celeste winning each game. Kyoko claimed to be aware of it, but obviously, it still worked since she still hadn’t beaten her.

Kaede raised a finger in question. “I can’t tell who’s winning.”

“It will be me,” Celeste clarified.

Kyoko held a finger to her chin as she thought of her next move. “Maybe.”

Kaede made soft claps. “Aw, cool! Sorry, Kyoko, but I want Celeste to win. It’s her talent!”

“Gambling’s her talent, not games,” she said bluntly.

“You gotta be good at games to be good at gambling,” Kaede defended.

“Not necessarily. Celeste is just lucky. She knows I’m only doing this to test what can beat her luck and I have…” Her eyes, and only her eyes, rose to Kaede, “an idea.”

Impossible. “Oh? I would love to know your hypothesis,” Celeste challenged.

Kyoko lifted her head to Celeste, her finger hovering over her chin instead of touching it, her eyes confident as she led the conversation. “You’ve been exercising with them for… two weeks now?”

What did that have to do with her luck? “Have you been _spying_ on me, Kyoko? How flattering. I did not know your fascination with me went that far.” 

“What were you two doing before I got here?”

Kaede opened her mouth but Celeste raised her hand to shush her. “Do not answer her.” The motion was too obvious but it would be the only clear way to get Kaede to be quiet.

“Why not? Afraid I might figure something out that I’m not supposed to?” Kyoko baited.

“Why are you bringing her into this? Our duel is between you and I.” Celeste raised an eyebrow. “Do you believe Kaede is the key to defeating me? Why is that?” She turned to Kaede and got in her face. “Is there something about you that I do not know? Are you… the third Ultimate Lucky Student?” That would explain Kaede’s ability to beat her at gambling more often than Celeste could beat her. “Does your luck overpower mine?”

“Haha, what?” Kaede was too confused for it to be true. Her passionate blue eyes made her a horrible liar.

Kyoko made her move in Othello and leaned back into the cushion of the couch. “If the other Ultimate Lucky Student is who you’re after, you’re going to have to keep looking.”

Celeste looked back at Kyoko. “But I am right? There _is_ another Ultimate Lucky Student?”

Kyoko said nothing.

“Hmhmhm. You can bite your tongue all you want. Your silence is telling.” There were only two places for Celeste to place her disc. She picked a random spot. It didn’t matter; she was going to win anyway. “I will bet you by our next game, I will have found them. Perhaps I will replace them with you.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“How can you be so sure?” Celeste taunted.

Kyoko made her final move. “There won’t be a next game. I win.”

It was such a strange thing for Kyoko to say that Celeste didn’t fully process it. “...What?”

“I win,” Kyoko repeated with a smirk on her face.

Celeste looked down at the completed board and counted the discs. There were more white discs than black.

She was right. She won.

“You… what?”

“I figured out what’s stronger than your luck.”

Celeste lost? How? How could she lose? She didn’t lose, she couldn’t have lost! “You… are wrong. There is nothing stronger than my luck.”

“There is. It’s how I won.”

This wasn’t fair, she needed to stay! Celeste had been on a losing streak for weeks now; her entire identity was unraveling before her. She could barely accept losing to Kaede but losing to Kyoko was more than losing. She was going to lose _her._ “You won because you got a wave of luck. If we play again, I will show you—”

“No, we’re done. I have the information I need.” Kyoko stood up.

Celeste jumped up as well, rage building inside her. “What do you mean ‘we are done?’ You are a girl of methodology; you should know that one win does not mean anything.”

Kyoko brought up, “Kaede’s beaten you before.”

Unbelieving, Celeste conceded, “That was in my private room. How could you possibly know about that?”

Kyoko headed for the door. “I didn’t, I only speculated but you just confirmed it.”

Celeste splayed her arms out. “Well then, _what_ is this thing that is stronger than my luck? Hm?!”

“You don’t know? I’ll keep it to myself, then.” Before she exited, Kyoko paused. “Kaede? ...Be careful around her. She’s not who she says she is.”

This couldn’t be right! In a panic, Celeste’s thoughts swirled through her head, uprooting a memory from a few months ago.

_Celeste held up the letter she got in the mail to her mother. “Mom! I got accepted into Hope’s Peak Academy!” The school offered guaranteed success in her career but to her, even a letter was guaranteed success for some sort of relationship with her mother. She’d notice her, she’d finally recognize that her daughter wasn’t some boring, uninteresting piece of shit to be scraped off the bottom of a shoe. After years of hatred, this was her mother’s last chance to accept her._

_And yet, her mother paid her no mind._

_“Did you hear me?”_

_Annoyed, her mother bit her cheek. “What’s that got to do with us?”_

_A response. Any comment was better than nothing. Celeste took a deep breath. “I got accepted. Do you know what that means?”_

_“Don’t get smart with me.”_

_She slapped her thigh at the lack of praise. “Mom, Hope’s Peak Academy is the best school in the country. You need to get scouted in order to get in. They are saying I’m talented enough to go. Look!”_

_Her mother finally tore her eyes from the television and snatched the letter out of Celeste’s hands. Yes! She eyed it, searching for falsehood. “You make this?”_

_Celeste pointed to the official Hope’s Peak Academy seal at the bottom of the page. “No, it is real.” The accusation that it was forged hurt but wasn’t unfounded. Celeste was a bad kid._

_“What ‘talent’ do they say you have?”_

_“Gambling.”_

_“Gambling,” her mother repeated in disbelief. “This is addressed to Taeko.”_

_“Yes.”_

_Her mother looked at Celeste with raised eyebrows. “That you?”_

_Celeste blinked. “Yes, that is my name.” Did she really forget her own daughter’s name?_

_“I thought you were Celestia,” her mother sassed. “You told me you wanted to be called Celestia but now you wanna be called Taeko again? Get your story straight.”_

_She… wasn’t wrong. How was she supposed to be Celestia Ludenberg when Hope’s Peak Academy didn’t recognize it? “They are addressing me by my legal name,” Celeste explained. “However, I am no longer the uninteresting Taeko Yasuhiro. I am the much more compelling Celestia Ludenberg. You would agree, yes?”_

_“So, you’re gonna come to me with a fake accent and a fake name and tell me the best school in the country just happened to scout you of all people? How did they scout you? How did they know your legal name when you call yourself Celestia?” Her words were painful but it was the longest conversation she’d had with her mother in weeks._

_Celeste dropped the accent. “I don’t know.”_

_“What’s gonna happen to me and your father if you leave? Who’s gonna pay for the lights? Who’s gonna buy groceries?”_

_That’s what she cared about? That was Celeste’s worth? Lights and groceries? “I don’t know.”_

_“Did you even think about us? You were just gonna leave us behind?”_

_Celeste couldn’t think of a response that didn’t come off as passive-aggressive. Her mother folded the paper in one hand and returned it to her, slightly crumpled. Celeste had wanted to frame the letter in the best condition but now it was ruined._

_She saw tears in her mother’s eyes as she turned off the television. “How could you do this to me— to me and your father— to your family! We’re your family!” She inhaled a powerful sniffle. Celeste knew it was fake. It was the same cry her mother would give her father when he came home late from work. The cry, even if it wasn’t real, was an acknowledgment that Celeste was worthy of a reaction but recognition that she was also as pathetic and dull as her father. She didn’t know how to feel._

_Her mother shot up from her chair and wiped away her tears. “I can accept this whole Satanist little girl thing but this is ridiculous! How could you?! You’re going to let us die! You’re going to kill us!”_

_Even with the acceptance of the best school in the country, she would never accept Celeste._

_Her mother ran into her room and slammed the door behind her, leaving Celeste in the room, alone._

Kyoko closed the door behind her, leaving the room silent.

That was it. Kyoko was gone. She knew about her past— she knew everything— and was even willing to tell Kaede. Kyoko was never going to accept her. Celeste would never become Celestia Ludenberg. No more weekly games, no more banter, no more trying. Celeste had come to Hope’s Peak Academy for guaranteed success, for success as Celestia Ludenberg, but that was all down the drain now. Kyoko was her last hope. No one was going to accept her.

“Rude- _duh_!”

Celeste turned to her left to see Kaede stand up with her hands on her hips. “I can’t believe Kyoko said all that! She’s usually nice, so why was she so mean to you?!” She scoffed to herself. “ _Obviously_ , you like playing games with her. Playing games is, like, your thing. Didn’t she realize that? Why’d she have to make it this, like— uch, what’s the word— this mean, mean competition?! I thought Kyoko was smart! How can she be so insensitive?!”

Kaede was… mad? At Kyoko?

Kaede stomped to the other side of the table, blocking Celeste’s view of the door. “Don’t let her talk to you like that. That was really uncalled for. You didn’t deserve that.” Kaede exaggerated Kyoko’s voice. “‘She’s not who she says she is—’ Well, who does she think _she_ is? She just thinks she’s all-important because she’s the headmaster’s daughter. Screw her!” She sat down on the couch and reset the game board. “Sit down. We’re playing this game together.”

The only thing that could come out of Celeste’s mouth was, “Kaede…”

“Sit down!”

Celeste wasn’t in the mood to argue. She did as she was told.

“Look,” Kaede pointed an aggressive finger at Celeste, “I’m not gonna be as good at this game as Kyoko but I don’t care. I’m gonna learn. I’m gonna lose a lot; that doesn’t matter. You like games? We’re playing games. You don’t need Kyoko.” She shook her fists. “Oooo, I’m so mad at her! I thought you and her were friends but apparently not. You and _I_ are friends, though. _I’ll_ play games with you, Celeste.”

Kaede didn’t care. She didn’t care to learn about Celeste’s past self. The only Celeste to her was the one right in front of her. “...Thank you,” she choked.

“Are you okay? You look really sad.”

“Do I?” She had forgotten to hide the emotion in her face. Did it matter? She remembered telling Kaito she was hurt and nothing happened. She was going to test it out again. “I suppose I am… upset.”

“Yeah, I would be too. But we’re gonna make it better, okay? Don’t worry about her.”

Celeste blinked, feeling a tear fall to her cheek. She wished Kaede didn’t see it.

“No, don’t cry!” She reached over the table and tapped Celeste’s nose. “Boop!”

Celeste flinched at the quick touch. Nothing prepared her for Kaede to do something so silly. How could such a simple gesture hypnotize her so easily? All Celeste could do was stare into her bright, contagious grin. A goof; she was such a goof. A clown so eager to entertain and spread joy. She couldn’t help but laugh. “You are… a good friend, Kaede.”

She watched tears well up in Kaede’s eyes. Real, genuine tears of joy. “You called me your friend.”

Celeste didn’t say anything.

Kaede clenched her fists in determination. “Then let’s have a friendly game of Othello. No cheating, no blackmail, just us… being friends.”

With that, they started the game. For hours they played, jumping between various games in the rec room. Celeste didn’t even think of gambling with her; she only wanted to play with her friend.

That night at training, Kaede was much happier than usual and Celeste couldn’t deny she was starting to have fun either. Kaito had called for sit-ups, so Celeste laid on the ground and had Kaede hold down her feet. It wasn’t easy, especially when forced to stare at Kaede’s tank top that only read, ‘I’m Stupid.’

“Kaede…?” Celeste struggled to speak as she crunched her core. “ _Please_ explain… your shirt.”

Kaede looked down as if she wasn’t aware of what she put on. “Oh, this? I bought an ‘I’m With Stupid’ shirt and an ‘I’m Stupid’ shirt for me and Shuichi to wear, but the ‘I’m with Stupid’ shirt ended up going out of stock, so they only sent the ‘I’m Stupid’ shirt but once it got back in stock, I still couldn’t get just the ‘I’m With Stupid’ shirt because the website puts both the shirts in a pack. Like, you can’t buy the shirts separately. I could either spend more money and have two ‘I’m Stupid’ shirts or just have this one and I’m not spending any more money on that dumb website that didn’t give me a refund for my first purchase. So, now I’m stuck with this ‘I’m Stupid’ shirt with no context.”

Celeste paused. She pushed air out of her nose, trying to keep the chuckle inside her but it only made her diaphragm crush her insides. She collapsed onto her back, her laughter picking up speed. “Ha ha… ha ha ha!” Such a goofy thing could only happen to a clown like her!

“Hey! Don’t laugh at me!” Kaede remarked, giggling herself.

“I do not mean to! It is just… so— Pa ha ha ha! I truly do not—” she snorted, prompting her to cover her face in embarrassment, “I do not understand why it is so funny to me.” Perhaps it was because this was the first time in a long time that Celeste had felt comfortable enough to express joy.

Once they got their giggles out and everyone finished their sit-ups, Kaito dropped to the ground. “Okay, we’re all done! Why don’t we sit here for a bit?”

Normally, Celeste would take this as an opportunity to separate herself from the group but with a softening heart and Kaede’s pleading eyes, she said, “I suppose I can rest here for a moment.” As expected, Kaede grabbed her by the waist and dropped her down.

As everyone got down, Shuichi realigned his cap. “Ugh… my hat is all sweaty.”

Kaede advised, “Just take it off, dude.”

Mikan squealed, “Kaede! He… He told us why he didn’t want to take it off.”

“I know but I think it’s doing more harm than good.” Kaede tugged on Celeste’s arm for validation. Celeste couldn’t care less.

Kaito agreed with her. “Kaede’s right. We’re your friends; you shouldn’t need to worry about looking us in the eyes. What do you think is gonna happen if you don’t wear it?”

Shuichi hesitated, debating in his mind whether or not he trusted his friends enough to share. “I don’t want to see people get mad at me…”

Kaede was already in her lecture mode. “People are gonna be mad at you at some point. Celeste was angry with me for a while but look!” Kaede squeezed Celeste. “Now we’re good friends and everything’s okay!” Celeste wasn’t sure if everything was perfectly okay between them. There were still some grievances, like how Kaede had yet to recognize that it was her inability to value Celeste’s boundaries that caused the tension between them— a grievance Kaede was showing off with Shuichi. There was a small amount of comfort in that this seemed to be a flaw with Kaede as a person, and not that she didn’t care for Celeste specifically.

“If they’re mad, at least I don’t have to look at them.”

“But you’re missing out on every other emotion!”

Maki relaxed in the grass. “I don’t see what the big deal is. Lots of people don’t make eye contact. Doesn’t bother me.”

Kaede scrunched her goofy face, preventing Maki from interrupting her motivational speech again.

Shuichi was still making excuses. “But I wear my hat all the time and if I take it off, people are going to say something.”

“What’s so bad about that?”

“It’s… “ He didn’t have a logical explanation. “What if I take off my hat and my hair’s bad?!” No, that was a logical fear in Celeste’s mind.

Kaede held her arms out. “We’re your friends! We’re not gonna tell you your hair’s bad!”

“You wouldn’t tell me?!” Shuichi panicked.

Celeste could understand where he was coming from. “He is right. A true friend would inform the other that they look out of line.”

“I don’t think so. Shuichi, if you took off your hat right now, none of us—” Kaede side-eyed Celeste, “ _none of us_ would say anything bad about you.” She held out her hand. “C’mon, take off your hat.”

He slowly lifted his arm to grasp the brim of his cap. Hesitating, he carefully removed it from his scalp. Keeping his eyes on the grass, he moved around strands of sweaty, mangled hair away from his face and placed the hat in Kaede’s hand.

“Hm,” Celeste broke the silence, “You look awful. Perhaps if you did not wear that ugly hat all the time, you would be fine.”

“Celeste!” Kaede exclaimed. “You look fine, Shuichi!”

He lifted his head up for a moment to reach for the hat. “Okay, give it back—”

“Wait,” Kaede pulled the hat behind her, an idea popping into her head. “How about the rest of us support you as your friends by having each of us wear your hat for a day? You go without your hat for five days, max. If you don’t like it, you can go back to wearing it all the time.”

Shuichi dropped his shoulders. “Kaede…”

“And,” she held out the hat to Celeste, “Celeste is gonna be the first one to wear it, starting tomorrow.”

Celeste raised an eyebrow. “I would not be caught dead wearing that atrocious thing on my person. It matches none of my outfits, nor my aesthetic.”

Kaede pointed a finger at her. “You better find something because you’re gonna start acting like a friend to him.” She swung her finger to Maki. “You’re after her, Maki.”

“...What?” Maki sighed. “It’s just a hat. I don’t care.”

“Then it’s gonna be Miikan, Kaito, and me.”

Kaito gave a thumbs up. “I think it’s a good idea, Kaede, but only if Shuichi’s okay with it.”

It was clear that Shuichi didn’t have the confidence required to argue with Kaede. “...Okay. I’m… going to put my trust in you guys that everything’s going to be okay.”

“Cool!” Kaede slapped the hat into Celeste’s stomach. “You better be wearing this tomorrow, buddy. Be nice.”

“No,” Celeste stated.

“Celeste, please. Can you be nice for _one_ day? I know you can do it.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “I really want you to be friends with them.”

Celeste and Kaito were on good terms. She and Maki were never going to get along, so she wouldn’t bother pretending with her. Shuichi and Mikan were pathetic; did they deserve any kindness from her? Celeste had to make the active choice to forgive and try to trust Kaede again. Could she try and befriend Shuichi and Mikan? Kaede only wanted one friendly day. Maybe Celeste should return Kaede a favor for defending her against Kyoko. She looked down at Shuichi’s hat.

For Kaede, could she be nice for a day?


	18. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter, but one we've all been waiting for :)

Today was going to be a good day. Today was going to be a _great_ day! Celeste was finally going to start growing and being a better person! Dancing around in her room as she brushed her teeth, Kaede could barely contain her excitement.

And it was all because of her. Even with a little dip in their relationship, Kaede had been making a lot of progress with Celeste.

Just when she finished getting ready, there was a knock on the door. Answering it revealed Shuichi, capless and looking down at the floor in shame. “Hey! How are you feeling?” she greeted.

Shuichi shrugged. “I’m okay… I guess.”

Kaede playfully pushed his shoulder. “You look great.”

He lifted his head to look her in the eyes. “Thanks.”

She gave him a silly smile. “You’re gonna feel even better when you see Celeste in your hat. Aw! I bet she’s gonna look cute!” She realized what she said. “I-I mean, like, people look great when they wear something different! You look cute too, with and without your hat!”

He stepped back in shock. “...You think so?”

“Yeah, man!”

“Oh, haha.” He was never good at taking compliments, so he changed the subject as they exited Kaede’s room. “Do you think Celeste is going to wear it? I wouldn’t be surprised if she finds some sort of loophole.”

Kaede grumbled, “Me neither, but I’m not gonna let her!”

When they entered the dining hall, surprisingly, Celeste was the first one of their team there, sitting in their usual spot with Shuichi’s hat in her hands. She examined it, holding it above two plates with nothing but crumbs.

Kaede dashed up to her. “Whoa, you’re early!”

“Indeed, I am. Good morning.” Celeste greeted, standing up and giving a small curtsey. “Today marks yet another day of suffering for me.”

“Not suffering,” Kaede gently slapped Celeste’s arm, “support.” Eager to see a newly changed Celeste, Kaede demanded, “Put on the hat, buddy.”

Celeste groaned. “Here.” She dramatically waved Shuichi’s hat like a wand and snapped it onto her head. She promptly took it off. “Done.”

“Uh uh uh!” Kaede scolded, “Put it back on! You’re wearing it _all_ day.” Kaede squeezed her fingers together. “Be a good friend and keep it on. You’re going to be nice today.”

Celeste clicked her tongue. “It does not match any of my outfits. This was the closest dress I could find.” She gestured towards the navy dress she wore that Kaede hadn’t seen yet. It wasn’t something Celeste put much time and detail in, notable by the stitching done with a sewing machine.

“Doesn’t matter.” Kaede crossed her arms. “Being nice and supporting your friends is more important than your outfit.”

“I am always polite but if you wish for more, I can show you something much more disturbing...” She made a sharp turn towards Shuichi. “Shuichi!”

“Y-Yeah?”

She clasped her hands together in front of her. “How are you feeling?”

“...I’m okay.” He was extremely hesitant to look at her.

“I sense a darkness within you. There is something on your mind, yes?”

He looked at Kaede, sorrow in his eyes. When his eyes fell to the floor with a sigh, he said, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Hm.” Celeste tilted her head. “You are a very smart boy, Shuichi. However you may feel, you are worthy of your talent. Whatever it is that torments you… I recommend letting it flutter away like a moth in the wind.” She lifted her arms as if presenting a product to Kaede. “Disturbing, yes?”

Kaede perked up. “No, I liked it! See, I knew you had it in you to be nicer! I like this version of you a lot better!”

Shuichi chose to remain silent.

Celeste giggled. “Hmhm. Then perhaps you are unaware of your entertainment of the disturbed.”

When Kaito, Mikan, and Maki arrived, Celeste greeted them kindly. It was almost unsettling.

Mikan’s eyes bugged out. “C-Celeste! You look—” She gasped and instantly shut her mouth.

Celeste held her hand up. “Yes, I am well aware that Shuichi’s hat makes me look common. I would prefer people to not mention it.”

Kaito held a thumb up. “No problem! Glad you’re finally startin’ to be a team player!”

As more students started to pool into the dining hall, everyone sat down to eat except for Celeste, who gave the team a warm smile. “I will be leaving now.”

Kaito raised his arms in disbelief. “What? That’s not what a team player does! You aren’t eating?”

“I already ate,” Celeste declared.

Maki was confused. “You ate without us? How can you get so dramatic about having everyone eat together and eat by yourself?”

“I apologize,” Celeste bowed, “but I really must be going. I have many things that need to get done today.”

Maki recoiled, weirded out by her apology.

Kaede saw right through her. “You’re doing a _lot_ to keep people from seeing you. Sit down!”

Celeste groaned and dropped down into her seat next to Kaede.

When Kaede got her cereal, she noticed Celeste side-eyeing her. “Cereal will not give you the nutrients you need to take on the day,” she lectured. “You should consume something meaty with iron, like pork. Pork meat is the most efficient source of energy,” she was filled with newfound vigor, “perfect for breakfast!”

Kaede pointed her spoon at Celeste. “You eat _bread_ every morning.”

“I had Teruteru make me gyoza this morning. Delicious!”

“Well, Mikan prescribed me iron supplements to eat every day.”

“Have you been eating them?”

Kaede had to think. “...No. I keep forgetting to bring them with me to meals.”

Celeste put her hand on Kaede’s shoulder. “Mikan is an excellent nurse and it would behoove you to listen to her.”

Mikan turned like a deer in headlights. “Th-Thank you… Celeste. Ggggggh.”

Celeste’s behavior showed that she was fully capable of being a kind and decent human being, even if she was doing the bare minimum, but chose not to be. Evil wasn’t inherent within her. Kaede smiled to herself; all it took was a little push in the right direction and a hat to bring out Celeste’s true self.

But why? Why did she choose to hide when the positive energy she radiated made her even more beautiful than before? Kaede had assumed it was because of some insecurity or an inability to understand what it meant to be nice but Celeste was able to give out compliments with ease and confidence. Maybe it was just acting; when Celeste had called her sweet during her piano lesson, she turned bashful and shy in a way Kaede didn’t know she could be. It was such a juxtaposition to her usual dominant air that it was hard to believe it was a thing that actually happened.

Maybe she only got like that because she was complimenting Kaede specifically? Why? Why would she be shy around Kaede?

Was it…

Could it be because…

No way!

There was no way Celeste would _like_ Kaede. Celeste was cool and weird and comfortable with herself while Kaede was average and normal and attracted to her close friend. If Celeste liked her back—

Kaede discretely clutched her chest, her heart pounding against her ribs. No way. There was no way.

Celeste put her hand on Kaede’s leg. “Are you okay, Kaede?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine!” Touching her leg wasn’t going to help!

With breakfast ending and everyone getting up to go to class or wherever Kaito went, Kaede pulled on Celeste’s arm. “Celeste! Let’s do more piano lessons!” Anything to be near her. There had to be some way to find out if Celeste liked her and, with Celeste being a private person, it was impossible to find out if there were other people in the room.

She paused. “I have things to do today, unfortunately.”

“O-Oh. Like what?”

Celeste put her chin on her fingers. “Anything else.”

“Are you gonna hide in your room and take the hat off?” Kaede asked, putting her hands on her hips. “I’m not gonna let you do that.”

Celeste rolled her eyes.

“Don’t sass me! Piano lessons, now!” She grabbed her wrist.

“You are being quite forceful.”

“Sorry! I’m just super excited!”

“I figure,” Celeste breathed in acceptance, not resisting. “Your excitement for your talent can illuminate the darkest day.” She said it so casually that it didn’t really feel like a compliment. Yet, it warmed Kaede’s heart.

Once inside the Ultimate Pianist Research Lab, the two sat comfortably next to each other on the pianist’s bench.

“Okay, today let’s practice playing a song! Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star will be super easy.” She dug through her backpack and picked up a blank piece of sheet music and a pen. “Lemme just write down the notes—”

Before Kaede placed her pen on the paper, Celeste already began playing the song on one hand. She didn’t play any chords but she effectively used fingers other than her index. When she finished, she grinned at Kaede’s slacked jaw.

“Is that surprising?” Celeste asked.

“Uh, _yeah_! You couldn’t do that before!”

“Hmhm.” She put a hand over her mouth. “I learn quickly. If I wish to be skilled at something, I simply wish for it and it comes true.”

Kaede’s eyes widened. “Did you practice without me?”

“Of course not,” she scoffed. “I am perfect—”

“You _did_ practice!” Kaede bounced in the seat. “You like piano! You like playing piano!”

Celeste wagged her finger. “I appreciate the art form but I am not one for playing it myself. Unless I want to. Hmhm.” She picked up Kaede’s hand. “But it helps to have an excellent teacher.”

“Ha ha ha!” Kaede laughed nervously. Once she felt herself get clammy, she pulled her hand away. “Let’s keep playing!”

They continued playing, Kaede eventually pulling out the sheet music for Beethoven’s _Fur Elise_ and while Celeste did struggle, she was much better at playing than she was before. She would politely ask questions and listen to Kaede’s long-winded answers with intrigue in her eyes.

Her spooky, yet enchanting eyes.

Kaede had to tear her own eyes away from Celeste’s soft, plushie face so she could focus on her hands. Celeste seemed to be having a lot of fun, as much as an edgelord would allow herself to express.

Maybe Kaede could… tell her? They were alone after all and Celeste seemed to be in a good mood, unless it was all a ruse because of the hat. Still, she was trying to be nice. And she was succeeding. Maybe it was easy for Celeste to be nice to Kaede because… maybe Celeste liked her back.

Was it possible? Or was it just wishful thinking? If Celeste did like her, maybe she was too shy to say something. Did she even like girls? She didn’t know. How would she know? She wasn’t opposed to homosexuality based on the _Carmilla_ book she read.

She’d never know if she didn’t shoot her shot.

A sudden wave of confidence hit Kaede.

She’d never know if she didn’t shoot her shot!

Was it worth risking her friendship on the off chance that Celeste liked her?

Was it worth outing herself in hopes of being able to hold her, kiss her, go on dates, both fancy and cheap? Kaede didn’t care what kind of date they would go on, as long as Celeste was in her arms, it didn’t matter. Was it worth confessing just for that?

Screw it! It was!

This was it. This was the perfect moment. It was now or never. The confidence could fade away at any moment.

“Celeste!” Kaede pushed out.

Celeste jumped, startled by Kaede’s outburst. “Y-Yes?”

“Oh, sorry, sorry!” Shoot, did she ruin the moment already? Kaede stared at Celeste, her face getting warm as she started to sweat. She nervously tapped her palms against her knees, pressing down and squeezing the hem of her skirt. As her breaths began to shallow, Kaede looked down, covering her ears with her shoulders. Looking Celeste in the eyes only made the tempo of her heart increase. “Um…”

Celeste rolled her eyes. “Oh no. What did you do, now?”

“Nothing! I, um… I wanted to— I-I wanted to ask you something.” This would be her first time coming out and coming out to the girl she liked. Please, please, Celeste, don’t be disgusted by Kaede’s aching heart.

“By the way you are acting, it looks important. Ask away.”

Kaede had to buck up. It was just a couple of words. All she had to say was, ‘Will you go on a date with me?’ Eight words. But those eight words could be enough to chase Celeste away and ruin their friendship. As much as she wanted to date Celeste, being her friend was still acceptable, even though she felt so… she felt…

“You’re much better with words than I am,” Kaede sighed, unable to find the right words in her mind to describe exactly how she felt about Celeste.

“That is not a question.” Kaede expected a snarky remark from Celeste about being much smarter than Kaede, but it never came. While Celeste’s face remained apathetic, her eyes contradicted her. There was no typical coldness, only the unfamiliar warmth of concern. She had seen Celeste presumedly concerned for her before, but it always came off as angered and frustrated, never nurturing. No matter how much Kaede knew about Celeste, she always did something that made her more mysterious.

“You’re so… weird, Celeste.”

Celeste smiled. “I do not see how me telling you that you have yet to ask me a question warrants you calling me ‘weird,’ but thank you. It is a compliment nonetheless.” She twirled a piece of her hair. “Whatever it is that is bothering you, spit it out. I am growing impatient.”

“I’m having a hard time saying it.”

“Then use your talent. Music is the language you know best, correct?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Kaede looked at her piano. “I know how to play dozens of piano pieces and I’ve listened to hundreds, maybe thousands, but… I can’t think of a single one that really expresses how I feel about you.”

Celeste raised an eyebrow. “‘How you feel about me?’”

There was no turning back now. If she didn’t confess, if she didn’t chicken out, she’d explode.

Kaede clenched her fists. Eight words weren’t going to be enough.

“I really like being your friend, Celeste. You… um… I like spending time with you. And making you smile, even if it’s in weird ways. And you’re the only one who I can have a good conversation with about piano. And I like listening to the sound of your voice— uh, I-I mean— I um, I like listening to you talk. And… I like the sound of your voice too. Every time I hear you speak, it’s like… it makes me feel like…” She paused, again not being able to formulate the proper words. Maybe Celeste could say something to help her. “My heart is pounding out of my chest right now and you haven’t said anything!”

Celeste blinked rapidly, Kaede’s exclamation snapping her out of a daze. “O-Oh. I… have not said anything,” she repeated. “Forgive me, as I am… shocked, to say the least. I am unsure of what I should say.”

“Well… I guess you don’t _have_ to say anything. I just wanted to tell you that I, uh… I really want to keep being friends with you, but I really, _really_ want to…” Kaede took a deep breath. “Do you think you could— Do you want… Can— Ugh!” She slapped her thighs and squeezed her eyes shut. “I really like you, Celeste! W-Will you go on… a date with me?”

After a few painful seconds of no response, Kaede slowly opened her eyes to see Celeste’s grieving expression. Grief. The only time Kaede had seen that on her face was when Kyoko left her alone the day before.

Celeste opened her mouth to say something, only to close it again.

If Celeste liked her back, she would’ve said something by now.

Kaede took in a shaking breath. “I-I-I should’ve asked you if you liked girls first, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. You’re weirded out, right? You—” Her vision blurred as tears slid down her face. “You hate me now. I’m sorry. Please, don’t tell anyone.”

“Kaede…” Celeste held her arm.

She wanted her comfort but knew how gross her affection was. Kaede yanked it away. “Please don’t tell anyone I like girls, please don’t—” She never said it out loud before. Admitting it sent her bottled up fear through her eyes, tears now uncontrollably streaming out of her. Kaede covered her eyes, pulling at her hair in the process, and screamed. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Please don’t tell anyone!” she begged, as if for her life.

Celeste had her arms in front of her, understanding that Kaede didn’t want to be touched but unknowing of what to do. “I will not tell anyone, I promise. Take a deep breath and relax.”

“You don’t like me, I know. I shouldn’t have said anything. You don’t like me. You don’t like me.”

Holding a hand to her heart, Celeste gently explained, “I am… afraid I cannot give you a proper response at this moment.”

Her voice cracked as her eyes burned. “...What? What— What does that mean?”

“I need to…” Celeste breathed out. “I need to think about your confession. How about you ask me again tomorrow?”

“...Tomorrow?” Kaede turned to her, Celeste’s words not making sense. She pleaded, feeling her entire body shake, “Why tomorrow? Just… just tell me no. Just say you don’t like me, just say you hate me—”

“I could never hate you, Kaede.”

“Then why— why— why can’t— why—”

Celeste took her hand. “Please, do not cry, Kaede. To see such a sweet and kind girl like you cry is… unnatural for this world.”

Kaede snatched her hand back, guilt turning into blind anger. “Then why can’t you just say no! Do you think tormenting me is funny?!”

“Kaede, please, I…” Celeste sighed. “This is not fair. It is not fair to you in the slightest.”

“What are you talking about?”

Celeste looked at the time and stood up. “I urge you to come with me.”

“Why?”

Her shoulders dropped. “No amount of apology can express how deeply sorry I am that this happened to you. Please, follow me and I will explain.” Kaede wiped her face with her hands and rose from her seat, dragging herself behind Celeste.

Celeste led Kaede back to the dining hall and with her hand on the door handle, she said, “Had I known you would say such a thing, I never would have agreed to do this.”

With her arms tightly folded, Kaede asked, “You mean wearing Shuichi’s hat?”

Celeste slowly shook her head and opened the door.

At first glance, there was nothing particularly special about the dining hall. Classes were in session and there were only two people, Sonia and Mukuro, drinking tea together at one of the tables. Weirdly enough, Mukuro was sitting similarly to Sonia with her back straight and her legs crossed. Sonia had a small tape recorder on the table, recording as Mukuro said, “I hear that Genocide Jack is, in fact…” she paused for dramatic effect, “among us. Here at Hope’s Peak Academy.” Mukuro laughed a familiar, haughty laugh with fingers over her mouth. Kaede squinted and took a double-take at the black dress Mukuro was wearing.

A dress she had seen before.

A very elaborate, laced, goth lolita dress.

Kaede narrowed her eyes more, taking a step closer and knowing fully well Mukuro wouldn’t wear something like that, knowing fully well Mukuro didn’t _sound_ like that. She stared at Mukuro’s short, black hair; the trait that made Kaede identify her as Mukuro in the first place. It wasn’t parted the same way it usually was; it wasn’t parted at all. Kaede looked down at her eyes, her red contacts that should be blue, down to her lips that curled slightly in deception, down to her dainty hands with black nail polish that held the teacup so gracefully and gently that with one wrong move, it would fall.

There was no mistaking it. That wasn’t Mukuro, that was—

“Celeste?!” she boomed.

Both Sonia and Celeste turned their heads to the source of the sound, Celeste’s face instantly dropping in shock.

Kaede quickly turned her neck to the person next to her, the other Celeste.

“Wh…” Kaede stammered.

The other Celeste. There were _two_ Celestes, except one, now that Kaede could compare her, looked nothing like the other. The one next to her was much taller than the original, probably around six feet tall, a height difference Kaede initially attributed to Celeste’s heels. Her face was softer, not just physically from the layer of fat that bulked her face and body, but emotionally. The doppelganger lacked the attractive, intimidating intensity Celeste had. The doppelganger’s motions were slightly off too; Celeste moved like a puppet on a string, like an uncanny doll whose every movement was calculated, but the person next to her moved too naturally, too connected with the world. It was only when Kaede saw what Celeste was not that she could recognize the small details of her that she didn’t know she noticed.

“What…” Kaede tried to get out what she was feeling. She was speechless at the idea of there being another Celeste, one a complete stranger to her.

A stranger she had just confessed to.

A stranger she had just _come out_ to.

Blood rushed to her face as she looked back at the real Celeste’s raised eyebrows and stunned eyes darting back and forth between Kaede and the copy. Confusion over the situation, embarrassment over her confession, and self-doubt over not being able to recognize an imitation of a girl she liked fused together into a ball of rage.

“What the _fuck?!_ ” Kaede screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let Kaede say fuck


	19. Self-Deception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for making it halfway through the story!

“What the  _ fuck?! _ ” Kaede screamed.

“Shit,” Celeste whispered to herself. A bright smile slid onto her face as she put her teacup down and widened her arms, giving off a welcoming appearance. “Kaede! What a pleasant surprise!” she sang, her voice high-pitched in dread. “I see you have met my twin sister. I am… quite astonished to see you here,” Celeste stood up and looked at the doppelganger, clasping her hands together, “as I distinctly remember telling you not to come into the dining hall at this hour. Hmhm.” Her smile hid seething anger.

The plan was perfect. The imposter was supposed to pretend to be Celeste and avoid as many people as possible. Try not to wear the hat, but don’t push it. A good amount of the school knew who the imposter was and likely would recognize them, so if Celeste wore the hat, it  _ technically _ wasn’t her and enough people would know that. Of course, Kaede was a smart girl; she’d probably never let Celeste leave on her own. In the event that happened, the imposter was to be kind to everyone in a way that was unnatural for Celeste so they’d never ask her again.

Meals were the most worrisome part as Celeste was supposed to eat with Kaede. As long as the imposter ate beforehand and no one ever saw the uncivilized way they ate, no one would be any the wiser. The imposter was to keep Kaede away from the dining hall at certain times, particularly  _ now _ since this was the time Celeste could eat her breakfast without Kaede seeing her. But that failed. The imposter ruined the plan!

Sonia covered her mouth with both of her hands. “I didn’t know you were her twin sister!” she said to the doppelganger.

Celeste had never seen Kaede’s face so red as she shouted, “What’s going on?! You have a twin sister?!”

The imposter removed Shuichi’s hat. “I’m not. I’m the Ultimate Imposter. Celeste paid me to be her for the day and in the event I was forced to wear this hat, I would wear it instead of her.” They stood strong and aggressive as they squeezed their fists shut. “But you didn’t tell me everything. You said it was a simple joke because you were uncomfortable with wearing a cap; you didn’t warn me that you and Kaede were that close!”

Sonia gasped. “Celeste, that is  _ so _ ungucci!”

The jig was up, there was no way Celeste could deny the trick. “I made it very clear that it was a trick. You agreed. However, since you did not keep the secret, do not expect the rest of your payment.”

“I don’t want your money.” They turned to Kaede. “Kaede, I’m sorry. If I had known you would tell Celeste what you did, I never would’ve agreed. I didn’t know your relationship.” They put her hand on her shoulder. “I won’t tell anyone what you said.”

It wasn’t until then that Celeste noticed the fresh tears in Kaede’s eyes and the dried ones on her cheek. “What did you tell them?”

Kaede gritted her teeth and avoided the question. “You… you did all this… because you didn’t want to wear a stupid hat?!” Uh oh. That was a lot of rage. She liked a belligerent Kaede but this was too far. This was beyond dominant energy; Kaede was in pain. Celeste expected some disappointment when Kaede found out about the trick but she thought it was a small thing that could easily be blown over.

Celeste kept her face calm and blank. “Kaede, dear—”

“Don’t call me that! You think you can sweet-talk your way out of this?!”

She wasn’t going to calm down. “Allow me to explain—”

“No!” Kaede stamped her foot and pointed a finger at her. “Let  _ me _ explain.  _ You _ couldn’t find  _ any _ piece of kindness within you because you’re so  _ goddamn _ selfish! You couldn’t be nice for a day? A day, Celeste?  _ A day?! _ ”

Celeste took a few steps to the side, slowly inching her way around Kaede and the imposter. “I told you last night that I would not be wearing that hat. You are the one that did not believe me.”

Kaede aggressively pressed her fingers into her own chest. “So it’s  _ my _ fault?! It’s my fault. It’s my fault that you value your looks over other people?!”

Celestia Ludenberg cared more about her looks than people’s feelings but seeing Kaede cry… “That is not true.” Celeste was getting closer and closer to the door.

Kaede snatched the hat out of the imposter’s hands. “You’re wearing this hat.”

“I am not.” Celeste’s back was to the door.

“Yes,” Kaede took a step closer, “you are.”

She eyed a vase to her right. “No, I am not.”

“AAAAAAAARGH!”

Just as Kaede charged toward her, Celeste grabbed the vase and smashed it to the ground in front of her, forcing Kaede to back up for a moment, giving her precious seconds to break out.

“Never!” With a quick turn of her heels, Celeste pushed through the dining hall doors and ran as fast as she could.

Behind her, she heard Kaede yell, “Get back here, asshole!”

Her room, she had to get into her room! That was the only place she could get to that had a lock. She turned the corner towards the first-floor dorms only to see Akane and Nekomaru fighting and flipping over each other right in front of her door. Just her luck.

In the distance, she could hear Kaede’s frantic footsteps to keep up with her.

Shit!

Celeste wasn’t fit but Kaede didn’t have the blood pressure to keep up with her sprints. She had to act fast. Celeste hopped up the stairs to the second floor.

Kaede was right behind her, close enough to see Celeste take another route. “CELEEEEESTE!”

She kept running, hearing Kaede run up the stairs two steps at a time. Celeste had to hide; running up the stairs trapped her. Turning a corner, she spotted the perfect opportunity: a research lab door slowly opening. Not just any research lab, Maki’s. Celeste had heard Maki’s lab was the only one that locked, for some strange child caregiving reason, but there wasn’t any time to think about why. She beamed towards it, for a moment seeing Maki take one step out.

“Move!” Celeste barked, pushing the heavy door in and knocking Maki back.

“H-Hey!”

Just as Celeste turned in, she tripped over Maki’s foot, sliding onto the ground just as she heard the door slam shut. Thank  _ god _ .

On her hands and knees, Celeste took a moment to catch her breath, huffing as her dry lungs burned. Damn, she’d been doing a lot of running in the past few weeks. Ridiculous! Curse the stupid academy that had insane people she needed to run from.

She felt a sting on her knee. Looking down— “Dammit!” She lifted her leg, seeing a small rip on her stockings. One ruined stocking meant the whole pair was ruined! They weren’t expensive but they were the last pair sold before the online store she got it from ran out of business. She had to send her rage somewhere and Maki was the only one in the room. “You little bitch! Could you not have moved your gargantuan foot away from—”

When Celeste lifted her head every hateful word that would’ve escaped her got stuck in her throat as she gasped at the sight.

Guns. Tens, maybe a hundred of them in varying sizes lining two of the walls. Handguns, shotguns, rifles; Celeste didn’t know enough about firearms to distinguish beyond those three types. There were tables everywhere with cases on them, presumably containing more guns. Her heart skipped as she had never seen a gun, a hunk of metal capable of taking a life in half a second, in real life before, let alone so many.

To her left was a cage similar to ones for practicing baseball but instead of a pitching machine, there were large stands of cardboard in the shape of people with targets on their heads and chests. Lining the cage, more weapons; chainsaws, mallets, bows and arrows, knives, knives, knives,  _ knives.  _ As many knives as there were guns, each had their own design, their own sharpness, their own  _ uses. _

Further to her left: poisons. Jars lined up with combinations of words Celeste didn’t understand, all ending with ‘ide’ or ‘ate.’

In the center of the room was a bright red cloak lit menacingly, and behind it more knives.

Why? Why would an Ultimate Child Caregiver have a research lab like this? Celeste wanted to deny the evidence, deny that what she was seeing was real, deny that she had uncovered a truth. Death had always been a slow-moving concept to her, a lingering fate that everyone had to accept. In fact, she had wrapped her entire identity around accepting death as not something to be afraid of but of something with a strange beauty to it. It was fun to experiment with death as an art form, to pretend to be undead, to make morbid jokes about it, to be fascinated with killers far away from home. Hell, she had even had an intriguing conversation about rumors regarding a prolific serial killer that morning!

But there it was. Death in many forms, bashing someone's head in, slicing their guts, spraying them with bullets, all right in front of her. She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again, her fear confirmed as she read a large sign on the wall.

ULTIMATE ASSASSIN

Celeste didn’t even hear Maki approach her before she felt two hands around her neck lifting her up in a stance. Maki stared right into her, her eyes sharp and cold. Instinctual paranoia kicked in as Celeste grabbed Maki’s wrists, trying to pull her off of her. She tried to demand her life to be spared but Maki’s strong thumbs pressed hard into her windpipe.

This was it. Celeste was going to die. By accident, she found out something she wasn’t supposed to know. She was going to be killed by the assassin that she had antagonized for almost two months now.

How couldn’t she have known? It was so obvious now; Maki’s reluctance to interact with others by hiding in her lab, the pager that was always attached to her hip, how quickly she could get into a fighting stance if one snuck up on her. Fuck, even with their first interaction, Celeste distinctly remembered Maki threatening her by asking her if she wanted to die. Maki had only wanted to relax but Celeste had gotten so stuck-up about Kyoko’s attention on—

_ Fuck _ , that was why! The detective was investigating the assassin! She knew this, she fucking knew this when she walked in on Kyoko in her lab examining pictures of the bodies whose lives an assassin stole from them! Celeste had seen them. She’d seen glimpses of Maki’s work. Three of them, at least three people she killed. Recently. One of them was killed _ recently. _

God fucking dammit, why had Celeste been so stupid and berate a murderer!

She was going to die if she submitted. Pay attention, Celeste, there had to be something she could use to keep her alive!

With a quick examination of Maki’s face, she found it. There was something in Maki’s eyes, something far off inside her that speaks not just from her eyes but in her eyebrows and in her frown.

Fear.

Of course, Maki was afraid; while she had the physical power, Celeste had the  _ real _ power.

Celeste was in the forbidden room with forbidden knowledge. Maki couldn’t kill her. No matter how skillful an assassin she was, there was no way Maki couldn’t make Celeste’s death unknown. Kaede had seen her run up the stairs in the direction of her lab. Maki couldn’t kill her here, it would be obvious she did it. She couldn’t kill her and Maki knew it.

Her choking her was just a threat, an act done because there was no other option. A go-to reaction.

Celeste could work with this. She could work not just for her life but for an advantage. Now, knowing Maki’s talent, there could be something that Celeste could latch onto to get out of this with some kind of benefit.

Maki was always calm and level-headed, even in this moment of extreme fear, she said nothing. Reserved, quiet, stoic, avoided conflict. With a little bit of pressure, she’d back-off most problems she didn’t find important enough to push. Seemingly loyal; it wasn’t clear that she liked or disliked going to training but she kept going. Physically strong,  _ certainly _ , can blend into backgrounds like a fly on the wall.

Hm.

Celeste knew the perfect job for Maki.

_ Bodyguard. _

“W-Wait,” Celeste scratched out. “Lis—  _ ack! _ ” She pulled in a breath. “Listen!”

Maki kept quiet but squeezed harder around her neck. In a moment, she released her thumbs but kept her grip on her neck, pushing hard on her carotid. Celeste only had a few seconds before passing out. She wouldn’t be dead but who knew what would happen after that?

“I will tell them, I will tell them your talent.”

Maki pressed harder.

“Do as I say and I’ll keep quiet.” She already started feeling blackness consume her. “You are… leaving… a mark!”

Instantly, Maki dropped her to the floor, allowing her to catch her breath. As soon as Celeste had enough air to talk properly, Maki pulled her by her collar and slammed her against a blank portion of the wall, preventing Celeste from escaping. She pulled out a knife from a hidden holder on her leg and pressed it to Celeste’s throat. “You’re not saying anything.”

“Be my bodyguard and I will not.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“You will,” Celeste laughed, knowing Maki wouldn’t hurt her, “or else your friends will find out you are a lying scumbag.”

“And you aren’t?”

“They already know.”

Maki held the knife deeper into her skin. “You can’t tell them… they’re all I have.”

“Then be my bodyguard and protect me from now on—”

“Do you wanna die?!”

Celeste giggled again. “Do you wish to lose your friends?”

Maki gripped the knife tighter.

“You do not,” Celeste said confidently. “Now, let go of me and I assure you your friends will not find out. Do we have a deal?”

Maki growled before pulling the knife away, quickly opening the door and throwing Celeste through it, forcing her to land hard on her back. “Screw you.” Maki slammed the door.

Celeste guessed that was a yes.

Great! She got out of that mess, now back to the previous problem.

She looked around for a hint of where Kaede was, not finding anything. Carefully, she returned back downstairs, saw that Akane and Nekomaru were gone, and disappeared into her room. She felt a buzz from her phone.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Dont hide from me!!! when i find you its ON!!!

Fuck. She was going to have to stay in her room until Kaede cooled off. There went her plans for the day.

By lunchtime, Celeste still wasn’t ready to face Kaede. She wouldn’t allow herself to starve, so she texted Kirumi, asking her to bring her lunch to her. When Kirumi arrived, there was a distinct look on her face that knew something was going on. Exactly what she knew was made evident when she said, “Kaede has requested I deliver a message to you. It took me quite a while to prevent her from delivering it herself.”

Taking the tray of food from her, Celeste shook her head. “I would prefer not to hear it.”

Kirumi sighed in relief. “Good. There were specific words I would rather not say. However, you should know that what transpired has deeply hurt her.”

Celeste didn’t want a lecture. “You are her class representative. Surely, you can relax her.”

Kirumi tilted her head and frowned. “May I come in?”

“You may not. Thank you.” With the tray in one hand, she closed the door in Kirumi’s face. She set the tray down to eat and let out a deep breath.

Shit. Was what Celeste did  _ really _ that bad?

Dinner came by and Celeste still hadn’t left her room. Another text to Kirumi for a meal, another knock on her door. This time, instead of Kirumi, it was Kiyotaka with her tray of food.

“Good evening, Celeste!” he shouted in his usual outdoor voice.

“Why are you here? And I specifically asked for Kirumi, not you.”

His thick eyebrows turned on his forehead. “As your class representative, I need to make sure everyone in my class is in tip-top shape! Are you okay? You haven’t left your room all day and unless you’ve been studying this whole time, I can’t help but worry!”

Kirumi must’ve told him what was going on. “I am fine, Taka.” She grabbed the tray from him and handed him the empty one from lunch. “Now, leave me alone.”

“Can we talk? Your grades have been atrocious!”

Her grades were only bad because she didn’t need to go to class and she  _ certainly _ didn’t need to take any tests. She went to  _ some _ classes, like Language Arts, but it wasn’t like her attendance in class would make her successful in life. “Who cares?”

“I care!” He tightened his shoulders. “Slipping grades indicate personal issues! Kirumi has informed me that you and Kaede have been having some troubles in the past two weeks and—”

“Goodbye.” She went to close the door but Kiyotaka held his hand up.

“Wait! Give me a moment to speak!”

At least he was respectful and didn’t block the door with his foot. Celeste allowed him some time to talk. “You can tell me anything! I’ll do my best to fix it and if I can’t…” He clenched his teeth at the thought of failing her. “If I can’t, I can at least lend an ear to lift some of the burden. You aren’t the only one going through something right now. There’s a lot of students at Hope’s Peak Academy struggling with strange drama.” He dropped his shoulders and looked down at the floor with wide eyes. “A lot.” He shook his head to remind himself what needed the attention right now. “But I already know more than the average person here. I’ve seen the rosters! So, we don’t have to waste time with any extra details.”

So had Kyoko, and look at the relationship they had. Why did he even bring up her real name on the rosters? To mock her? To blackmail her?

“Leave me alone, Taka.”

“Uh, uh— then maybe you can talk with the counselor here? They graduated as the Ultimate Psychologist a few years ago and they’re a great advisor for—”

“No.” She finally shut the door. Like Celeste would ever talk to some nosy bastard who would snitch to the police or her if she said the wrong things in the wrong way. Psychologists couldn’t handle her, anyway. Celeste had been able to handle everything on her own so far, and she could keep going.

And she could handle Kaede.

Once she finished eating and the nighttime bell rang, she got changed and headed out of her room. When she felt the cool air of the outdoors on her face, her brain scrambled to find a way to calm Kaede down. It had been a few hours since she had been tricked, yet she didn’t seem to have cooled off. Kaede was absolutely someone to yell at another person in front of others, so it wasn’t like the others were going to be a buffer. What was the worst thing Kaede could say? So far, she wasn’t insulting. Kaede couldn’t  _ really _ threaten her with anything other than not talking to her for a while.

For a moment, Celeste felt a sadness ride through her. She did enjoy Kaede’s company; she could at least admit that. Celeste didn’t believe having someone impersonate her was all that bad, so Kaede would probably get over it in about a week. Still, a week felt like a long time. A week without hearing her gentle voice that got more intense as she talked about music. A week without seeing her unsure pout or the way her fingers involuntarily danced when focusing.

Celeste quickly tried to categorize her sudden emotion as guilt.

Celestia Ludenberg didn’t feel guilt. She had to convince herself that she didn’t do anything wrong.

In the distance, she spotted the group huddled around each other, Kaede pacing back and forth with her arms crossed. When she noticed Celeste, she ran towards her. Here we go. Time for the scolding.

...Why wasn’t Kaede slowing down?

Fuck!

Before Celeste could react, Kaede pushed her shoulder into Celeste’s stomach, tackling her to the ground. As soon as her back hit the ground, the wind knocked out of her as Kaede straddled over her stomach, slapping her hands against Celeste’s face.

“You bastard!” The slaps weren’t hard— Kaede was pulling her punches— but they were still disorienting.

Celeste defended herself by flailing her arms, smacking Kaede as well. “I did not do anything!”

A voice spoke up. “G-Guys!” Shuichi, with his hat returned to his head, yelled as the rest of the group ran up to them. “Don’t fight!”

Regaining her breath, Celeste grabbed Kaede’s neck and turned her knee, pushing Kaede off of her so Celeste was on top. Why was she still this angry?!

Shuichi inched forward, trying to stop the fight but was too scared of getting himself hurt.

Kaito held him back. “Let them duke it out, man.”

“What?! Kaito! What if someone gets hurt?”

“Sometimes you need to settle problems with an old fashioned catfight! Girls do that all the time!” Kaito scratched his beard. “...Right?”

“No,” Maki stated. She didn’t do anything to stop them either.

Mikan covered her mouth as she laughed.

Shocked, Shuichi said, “You’re laughing at this?!”

“Hee hee… hee hee hee…” she snickered. “Ah! Sorry! I just… um…” She tapped her fingers together. “Celeste kind of deserves it, don’t you think?”

Shuichi didn’t know what to say.

Celeste and Kaede continued to roll around in the grass until Kaede got on top again. “How could you lie to me like that!”

Celeste wiggled around, unable to escape. “It is not that big of a deal! It is just a stupid hat, why are you mad?!”

Kaede grabbed Celeste’s shoulders and shook them. “It’s not about the hat, it’s about being a good friend!”

There had to be some way to get Kaede off of her. “Maki, get her off of me!”

Maki didn’t move, conflicting emotions stirring in her face.

Celeste could help her make a decision. She looked directly at Kaede. “You think Maki is a good friend? She is probably keeping all kinds of secrets from you all.”

It looked like it was enough for Maki to step up. “Get off of her, Kaede.”

Kaede ignored her. “I’m not getting off you until you apologize for lying to me!”

Celeste didn’t have to respond because Maki gave Kaede a light kick in the back, knocking her over. Celeste stood up and wiped the grass and dirt off of her. Thank god for the bodyguard, even if she was going to grimace at her for all of eternity.

Kaede scrambled to get up. “What the hell, Maki!”

“It’s not worth fighting over. Everything Celeste says is a lie.” Maki was trying to make a cover for herself in case Celeste revealed her secret. “You should know this already.”

“You don’t get it!” Kaede roared, “She betrayed my trust because she didn’t want to wear a hat!”

Celeste leered, “Yes, because you have  _ never _ betrayed my trust before.”

“This is a lot different from telling people you like  _ anime, _ Celeste!” She shook her fists. “I told that imposter something really, really personal that I only wanted you to hear!”

“Oh? And what was that? What could you  _ possibly _ have told me that would warrant this behavior?”

Kaede’s face went red. “W-Well, I’m not gonna tell you  _ now!” _

“Hm. Then it was not important.”

“It was! And now someone I don’t know knows a really big secret about me!”

Celeste didn’t care. Karma was a bitch. “Too bad. Now you know how I felt. Perhaps this event will get you to feel true empathy instead of faking it.”

The accusation made Kaede do a double-take. “What are you talking about?”

All of the pain from last week that Celeste thought she had settled came bubbling up again. “Are you shocked that you have no control over your latest toy?”

Mikan, reading Kaede and Celeste’s faces, sensed the tension grow like unstoppable weeds and pulled on Shuichi’s arm. Any amount of pleasure she was getting from the situation was wiped away. “Shuichi…!” she pleaded, unsure of what to do.

Shuichi tried once again to calm them down. “Guys, I, uh, I think we should start training.”

Kaede held her hand up to Shuichi while staring straight into Celeste’s eyes. “No, no, I wanna know what she has to say. What do you mean?  _ What _ do you mean?” The second time, Kaede said it more like a threat than a question.

She knew what Celeste meant, she just didn’t want to admit it. Celeste let out a fake giggle. “What  _ ever _ do I mean? Hmhmhm.”

Kaito cut through the tension in a low voice. “Hey. This has gone on for too long. Make up and let's get back to training.”

“Mmm… no. Kaede wishes for me to clarify, so I will only say what we all already know.” Celeste got in Kaede’s face. “You do not care about any of us, do you?”

Kaede squinted. “Of course, I do! You’re all my friends—”

Celeste wagged her finger. “No, no, no. You do not care. You have no concept of boundaries, forcing people to do whatever you want.”

“Oh, okay. I get it.” Kaede nodded to herself. “This is revenge for that stupid anime thing. After all I did for you— I made you tea, I held your umbrella while  _ I _ got wet— you’re still mad? Having someone pretend to be you wasn’t fair; it’s cruel.”

“You see? There it is: the truth. You find my secret stupid.”

Kaede admitted, “Yeah. Yeah, I do. It was stupid and you overreacted.”

“Ha! I overreacted yet you are getting so worked up over a hat.”

“If you would listen to me— I  _ said _ it’s not just the hat, it’s the principle!”

“And it was not just me having an interest, it is the principle that you told someone a secret.”

“By accident! You tricked me on purpose! I just wanted you to be nicer!”

Celeste was starting to get riled up. “The key is that you were forcing me to do something I did not want to do! You were overstepping a boundary!”

Kaede was quick with her defense, showing how she really thought. “Well maybe  _ some _ boundaries are stupid! Some things, people are too uptight over! Is it really soooo bad that I wanna show people it’s not that serious?”

“Who are you to decide when someone’s boundaries are too high?”

“Okay, fine,  _ fine.  _ I shouldn’t have said anything. But you have no right to say I don’t care about people just because of that!”

“I have plenty of evidence to support my claim.”

“Show me, then.” What a cocky bastard. Celeste couldn’t help but love it.

She held up a finger. “You have rummaged through my things without my permission—”

“You’ve done the same thing!”

Celeste corrected, “I borrowed your phone to give you my phone number.  _ You _ took the opportunity to open my personal belongings in my room while I was gone.”

“It was an impulse, I’m sorry. I didn’t really think about it.” Clearly, Kaede thought a simple apology was going to fix everything.

“That is my point. You  _ do not _ think about it. You value your own desires over others.”

“How can you accuse me of not caring about other people’s desires when you make people your servant-slaves or whatever?!”

Celeste held up another finger. “Number two—”

“Oh, okay.” Kaede crossed her arms. “We’re just going to ignore that one.”

“You insult my interests by calling me edgy—”

“You’re weird! You know you’re weird! I like that you’re weird, how is that an insult?!”

“Weird and edgy have very different connotations.”

“You’re nitpicking words, now? You’re going to nitpick every single thing I do down to the word?!”

“ _ Nitpicking? _ I am telling you that you are a flawed human being, something you do not seem to understand!”

Mikan, Kaito, Shuichi, and Maki’s eyes darted back and forth between Celeste and Kaede as they argued. Mikan, specifically, watched closely, seeing something the others couldn’t. Underneath the rage and pain, Mikan was able to pinpoint something peculiar in both of them.

Celeste put up her third finger, showcasing them right in front of Kaede’s face. “Number three, and worst of all, you do not listen when I say no! How many times did I have to tell you I did not want to join this stupid group!”

Kaede furiously jumped up and down. “I was just trying to help you pull the stick out of your butt and open up! I thought maybe if you had some friends, you’d tone down some of your more awful behavior and be a little more tolerable and so far I’ve been right! You were so much better than last month up until you pulled that stupid stunt!”

“You’re right. I’m an awful person.” Celeste felt her voice slip as her words came directly from her heart. “I know who I am. Everything I do is done with purpose. Every detail, every motion, every word— I know what I’m doing! But you… you only treat others with care because you want to make yourself feel good! You wanna believe you’re this— this  _ grand savior  _ that can fix all the bad people, but guess what, Kaede, you’re a bad person too! And you have no idea! You have no  _ fucking _ clue how  _ shitty _ you can be and that’s why I find you so—” Celeste snickered and with a deep inhale, she rested her chin on her fist, a bright grin taking over her face, “immensely fascinating!” She snapped her accent back into place. “We can do the exact same things; we manipulate others to get what we want, we smile to appear welcoming, and we are entertained by others’ humiliation. You and I are one and the same and yet everyone seems to like and trust you. Perhaps it is because I am aware of my nature but you have managed to deceive yourself by believing you are much better than you actually are. Self-deception is an incredible power.”

Kaede slammed her finger into Celeste’s shoulder. “Well, maybe _you’re_ the one lying to yourself! You, and everyone else, think you’re much worse than you actually are but _I_ know you’re not bad on the inside! You’re a little weird and dramatic but you’re only dramatic because you’re super sensitive and there’s nothing wrong with that!” Kaede tapped her own chest. “I’m sensitive too! You act like you don’t care about people but you _do_ and it’s probably because you’re afraid to be vulnerable, right?! So _sor-ry_ for trying to get you out of your own head and show you what it’s like to have friends and show you that the stuff you’re worried people are gonna judge you for isn’t actually a big deal and you should relax a little more! Nobody cares if you like anime and nobody cares if you wear a hat!”

“The point is that it does not matter what  _ you _ believe is a big deal, but that  _ I _ believe it  _ is _ ! Your desire to change and fix a person because you think you know what is best for them is what makes you evil!”

“ _ Evil?!  _ I’m not a bad person! I’ve done everything I can to  _ be _ a good person!” She looked to her friends for help. “Guys! Back me up!”

Celeste urged, “Yes, I would like to know Shuichi and Mikan’s opinions on the subject.”

Kaede saw right through her. “You’re pressuring them because you know they’re too weak to have their own opinions!”

Shuichi blinked. “...What?”

“Aaaah!” Mikan grabbed her hair and shook her head violently. “You’re right I don’t know what to say I don’t know who to choose I don’t know who’s right aaaah!”

“You really think that, Kaede?” Shuichi looked hurt.

Kaede waved her hands in front of her, pleading. “No, no, I— That’s not what I mean! She tricked me!”

Celeste defended herself. “I did not trick you. In fact, you said exactly what I was trying to do. You have unintentionally proved my point.”

“Gh— I—” Kaede turned to Maki, the most sincere out of all of them. “Maki!”

“Yes,  _ Maki _ , where do you stand on this?” A threat would let Maki know who she was supposed to side with. “I cannot help but wonder if you have insight into what it means to a good or a bad person.”

Maki caught it and bit her cheek. Normally, Maki would do something to avoid the conflict, but to protect her secret, she had to be dragged in. “You can be pushy, Kaede.”

Kaede, stunned, said, “ _ Pushy?! _ When have I ever been pushy?!”

Maki put her hands in her pockets. “You forced me to help you get Celeste to join the training team when you knew I didn’t want to. Now look where it’s gotten us.”

“I didn’t force you, I asked!”

“You forced me,” Maki repeated sternly.

Realization was starting to set in as Kaede dropped her shoulders, looking to the only person left. “Kaito…?”

Kaito gazed up at the stars, looking for guidance. “...Does it really matter?”

“Huh?”

“When you look at the stars, you start to realize what you do doesn’t matter. Good. Bad. Outside of our world, those things don’t exist. Those are just things we made up. In the universe, nothing’s good or bad. But in this world, the best thing we can do is try to grow to be our best selves.” He huffed and looked at Kaede and Celeste. “I believe in Kaede… but I believe in Celeste too.”

He was dancing around the problem by finding the middle ground. If he agreed with both of them, he agreed that Kaede wasn’t a good person, at least not as much as Kaede thought she was. None of her friends backed her up; none of them outwardly said, ‘You are a good person, Kaede.’

“I… was I really hurting you guys…?” When no one looked her in the eyes, she took a step back in shock. “You guys really think I’m…” She shook her head and looked down, her eyes searching for a validating answer.

Celeste shrugged and smiled. “Relax, being bad is fun! Completely freeing once you stop caring.” Once Kaede accepted she was a bad person, the two of them could be evil together.

Unfortunately, Kaede didn’t seem to be handling it well. “No way. No way. I’m not… I’m not…” Kaede’s breathing got quicker and shallower as tears started to fall. “F-Fine!” she yelled, “Since I’m apparently hurting you guys and you guys hate me so much, I’ll just leave!”

“You are crying?” Celeste noted in a tone less accusatory and more surprised. “Seriously?” Why? Why did she have to cry?

With one quick motion, Kaede covered her eyes with her forearm and stomped towards her room.

Shuichi reached out. “Wait, Kaede, we don’t hate you!” He followed after her, putting his hand on her shoulder, which she swatted off.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sorry. Just leave me alone! I’m sorry!” As she ran off, Shuichi reluctantly followed behind her.

Kaito sighed into his hand. “I think we should… cancel training for tonight.”

“What?” Maki stressed. Celeste had never seen so much expression come out of her as she stood up straight. “You’re kidding right?”

“We need to sleep this off.” There must’ve been a lot going on in his mind, a lot he didn’t know how to handle. “Night, guys.” Without another word, he left.

Maki growled, “Way to go, Celeste.”

Celeste didn’t see what the problem was. “I only spoke the truth, there is no fault in that. All of this over a hat? There are people dying; murderers—  _ serial killers _ — out there.”

“You’re an ass.” Maki stomped back to her room, leaving only Mikan and Celeste.

Hm. No matter. She hated being there anyway.

But dammit, why did Kaede cry? Something wasn’t right; Celeste expected a major catharsis that never came. She didn’t like Kaede crying and she hated being the cause of it. Fuck! Why was Kaede so difficult!

Celeste would’ve forgotten about Mikan if she hadn’t opened her squealing mouth.

“...Celeste?”

She wasn’t dealing with her. “I have no reason to speak to you.”

As Celeste passed Mikan to return to her dorm, she was stopped by Mikan saying, “Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Why?! What did I do?” She gurgled before squatting down, holding herself. “What did I do, what did I do, what did I do? I’m weak, weak! Too weak for my own opinions, too weak to think for myself! Too weak to think! I’m so stupid! An idiot! I’m not smart enough to understand anything! Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic!”

This was getting annoying. Celeste wanted to leave but Mikan calling herself pathetic was too familiar to allow herself to keep walking.

Like looking into a mirror.

“Why would Kaede say that?” Mikan continued. “Why did Kaede call me weak? Why did you tempt her to say it? Why—” Slowly, Mikan turned to Celeste with wide eyes, staring deep inside her, past every barrier. “Why do you two fight like a married couple?”

Celeste didn’t know what to make of that.

Mikan asked, “Is it true what Kaede said? That you’re good on the inside?”

Celeste scoffed, “The only true thing that Kaede said was that you’re too weak to form an opinion on your own.”

There were no sniffles, no squeals, no screams. Mikan only stared at her.

“Uch. I will be taking my leave now. Wait here until I enter the building; I do not wish to walk with you. Good night.” Celeste walked down the paveway, back to the building, feeling confident in what she said. Celeste wasn’t good. She never was. Kaede had no reason to believe she was.

Right?

She was too far away to hear Mikan whisper, “Inside. Inside. Inside. I wonder… what a bad person’s insides look like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A LOT happens in this chapter and it was really fun to write. Now you know explicitly why this fic is titled Self-Deception. We can finally get to the character development.


	20. Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized we never really get deep into Kaede's head, so I wanted to fix that with an extra chapter. This is probably going to be one of the few chapters that isn't dialogue-heavy.

_ First day of Kaede’s third year of junior high, brand new classes with newish people— fun! Her first class was Math, Algebra specifically. Kaede always liked math; it wasn’t her favorite subject, but it was usually easy to understand. The answers were always right or wrong, yes or no, ifs and if nots. Math had rules: follow them and succeed. The only hard part was remembering those rules. _

_ Sitting right in front of the teacher’s desk, she had her fingers entwined on her desk and kicked her feet. With a pencil and notebook in front of her, she was ready for class to start as soon as the teacher arrived. She had to sit in front or else everything else, like the other students talking or whatever was going on outside the window, would snatch her attention away from class. At least that was what one of her tutors instructed her to do. Location stopped her eyes from wandering but not her ears from overhearing. _

_ Two boys behind her were talking about a superhero movie that had recently released a third film in a trilogy. “And then when he finally shot the laser beam out of his mouth! I knew it was gonna happen but I didn’t at the same time and it was awesome!” _

_ “Yeah, it wasn’t in the comics and usually when movies go away from the comics, they mess it up, but that scene was crazy!” _

_ Kaede knew what they were talking about. Her dad had taken her to see those movies too, and she knew what scene they were talking about. She had insight into their conversation she wanted to share, excited to spread knowledge. She quickly rotated to face them. “That scene was great because of the music! They got the same composer for all three movies, so each movie sounds the same. In the first movie, when they got to the big climax— my dad says there’s a part that everyone who read the comic liked— they played the same song then and the same song in the third movie, so your brain is trained to associate it with that nostalgic scene from the first one! And then, in the second movie—” _

_ Both of the boys looked at her like she was insane. Like she was speaking when she wasn’t supposed to. _

_ Right. Just like math, society had rules. Don’t butt into other people’s conversations. In that moment of excitement, Kaede had forgotten that one. _

_ “Uh… nevermind,” she apologized and turned back around. The boys didn’t continue their conversation. _

_ How could she forget such an easy rule? Stupid. Kaede was so stupid. _

_ She remembered how her mother told her to never question her intelligence. Some things came easily to Kaede and some things were hard. There was no benefit in dwelling on the negatives. Look at her! While everyone else was talking among themselves or on their phones, she was the only one prepared for class! Even with an attention deficit, she was the only one that was ready. Disorder, her ass! _

_ When the teacher finally entered the classroom, Kaede greeted him with a “Hiya!” She had met him prior to school starting; she and her parents had a meeting with him a week earlier to discuss some of the accommodations Kaede would need, such as extra time and a quiet room for tests. He was friendly and understanding of ADHD, something surprisingly rare in a lot of teachers. Hopefully, this was going to be a good class. _

_ As class started and the teacher asked everyone to take out their textbook, Kaede bent over to get the book from her backpack. As she scuffled through her bag, she eyed one of the books on music theory that her parents got her for her birthday a few weeks ago. She’d read through some of this one and planned to take the time to read it all during lunch… _

_ But did she remember to bookmark where she last left off? _

_ She pulled it out and flipped through the pages. Yup, there her bookmark was. Right where she forgot she left it. Thank god for bookmarks! _

_ “Ahem,” her teacher said, putting his hand on her desk. “Your math textbook.” _

_ “Sorry!” She didn’t want him to think she was slacking off. She had only gotten distracted for a moment. “My parents got me a book on music theory for my birthday and I didn’t mean to take it out, I was just looking really quick.” Her thoughts were jumping all over the place. “Music is math, you know.” _

_ A girl with pretty, green earrings spoke up. “Oh, is it? Why don’t you tell us more?” Someone else in the class liked music too? Instant friend! _

_ “You want me to?!” When Kaede excitedly turned to the girl, she saw the girl with the green earrings didn’t have the same expression Kaede had. She was smiling too, but under her hand. Snickering. She was snickering with her friend next to her. _

_ Before Kaede could process her reaction, the teacher said, “Not now. Maybe after class.” He didn’t catch the girl’s tone. No matter how nice a teacher was, they never seemed to catch tone. _

_ She wasn’t entirely sure, but Kaede could’ve sworn she heard the girl whisper to her friends, “Yeah, that’s the Piano Freak.” Kaede didn’t know who the girl was, but the girl knew her. _

_ Why did that happen? What rule did Kaede break? Don’t talk about anything other than math in math class? Those boys were talking about superheroes, but that was before class. Kaede mentioned that music was math, so what was the problem? _

_ It always felt like she never said the right things, so she decided to say nothing for the rest of the class. Instead, she doodled in her notebook. _

_ Later that evening, Kaede splayed out on her living room couch with the TV droning in front of her. Her eyes were on the screen, but her brain wasn’t retaining anything. Instead, her mind relayed the day’s events like a broken record. She wanted to analyze the situation, play it back to find errors she made so she could recognize the rules she missed. If she played it enough, maybe the rules would finally stick and she could remember them when the time arose again. _

_ The record stopped when she saw her mom’s face lean over the back of the couch. “Hey, sweetie.” _

_ “Hey.” _

_ “What’re you watching?” _

_ Kaede shrugged. “TV.” _

_ Her mom smiled and shook her head. “I meant what are you watching on the TV?” _

_ What was she watching? How long had Kaede been on the couch? Explaining how she didn’t know what she was watching despite looking at it for some time was going to be a difficult feat, so Kaede didn’t bother. “TV.” _

_ Her mom crossed her arms over the back of the couch. “Are you okay? You didn’t say much at dinner and you’re usually on the piano by now.” _

_ “I’m fine. I’m not in the mood for piano right now.” Even though the piano was Kaede’s favorite thing in the world, there were times where it felt like her brain short circuited and she wasn’t in the mood to play. It was those times where she couldn’t just focus on the piano, but on anything; her homework, a new hobby, chores, anything. It was like she wanted to do everything in the world all at once and nothing at all at the same time and these competing desires left her in a weird haze for a while until it passed. This wasn’t one of those times. _

_ “You look a little different from when you’re in one of your moods.” Her mom outstretched a finger to lightly tap Kaede’s nose. “Boop!” _

_ It was a small gesture, but it was a little comforting. “Mom, oh my god.” _

_ “Hm… why don’t you help me do the dishes?” She sat up and walked towards the kitchen. Kaede knew this wasn’t a question; it was a maternal demand. This wasn’t a typical chore; Kaede was going to have to wait in awkward silence until her mom heard what she wanted to hear. There was no getting out of it. She groaned and dragged her feet to the kitchen. _

_ Her mom handed her a towel to dry the dishes with and started washing. “So…? What happened?” _

_ “Nothing.” _

_ “Nothing happened on your first day of school?” She handed her a dish. _

_ “I guess stuff happened, but…” Kaede continuously rubbed the dish in one spot, her mind wandering. “I don’t know. It’s not a big deal.” _

_ “Even if it’s not a big deal, I want to hear it.” _

_ Kaede bit her cheek but eventually relayed her frustration with her class to her. As she went on and she got more and more riled up, her mother nodded, indicating she was listening. She could always rely on her mom to listen to her. “I mean, I’m fourteen; I’m gonna be an adult soon! I should know how to function like everyone else by now! But, like, I know what I’m supposed to do but I can’t freaking remember to do those things when I need to!” _

_ Her mom held a finger up. “Hm. First of all, you’re not almost an adult. You’re still a kid.” _

_ Kaede explained, “Well, I’m gonna be in high school next year.” _

_ She spoke calmly, “No one in high school has the world figured out. I’m an adult and there’s plenty of things that I don’t know. Some things, you learn from messing up and some things you learn by messing up a lot of times. You have plenty of time to figure it out.” _

_Kaede kicked her foot._ _“...It’s still not fair. I’m always doing something wrong.”_

_ “I know it feels like you make mistakes all the time, but I doubt you make any more mistakes than anyone else.” _

_ Kaede grumbled, “You don’t get it. You weren’t there.” _

_ “That girl made fun of you. You don’t think that was a mistake?” _

_ “She did it on purpose.” _

_ “No, I mean that was something she shouldn’t have done. You know not to make fun of people but apparently, she didn’t. You’d never do that.” _

_ Kaede hadn’t thought of that. She was too busy thinking about what she did wrong instead of the other girl. “I guess.” _

_ “Some people haven’t learned to treat others with kindness and to not be mean. You’ve known that all your life, ever since you were a little girl.” Her mom gave her a warm smile. “They say in all of the parenting classes that empathy is taught rather than innate. They say parents have to go out of their way to teach kids empathy, or else they won’t learn it at all but you… some things we didn’t have to teach you. You’re naturally sensitive and the world is already difficult for people like you and your dad. It’s easy for you to put yourself in other people’s shoes because you know what it’s like to be hurt. Does that sound right?” _

_ “Yeah, I guess. But, like…” Kaede second-guessed herself, unsure as she wasn’t able to predict the two boys’ reactions and consider how they would feel if she interrupted their conversation. “I don’t know.” _

_ “Hmhm,” her mom giggled, “but that girl didn’t seem to learn that yet, did she?” _

_ “Uh… no.” _

_ “Everyone deals with something but some people haven’t learned that you shouldn’t take it out on others. Lots of people, especially teenagers, are in the process of figuring out what parts of their lives they can control and what parts they can’t. When you’re really little, you think you can do anything but as you get older, you figure out that there’s very few things you have control over. Does that make sense? Correct me if I’m wrong.” _

_ “Yeah, like when you tell me my curfew is before dark while everyone else my age has a curfew at midnight!” _

_ Her mom laughed. “I told you, if you do your chores consistently, I’ll extend it to 9pm.” _

_ She was right, but Kaede didn’t want to admit it. She growled, “Whatever.” _

_ “But, people uncomfortable with themselves will often find some way to gain control. Maybe that girl was insecure and nervous about the first day of school and wanted to show everyone else that she was in power? Or maybe she doesn’t get a lot of attention at home and this was her way of getting attention? You never know.” _

_ Kaede thought for a moment. “So, what am I supposed to do about her?” _

_ She heard her dad yell from the dining room, “You can kick her ass!” _

_ “No-wuh!” Her mom called back. She turned to Kaede and pointed a finger at her. “No. Don’t listen to him.” They both laughed. “For one thing, don’t let her get to you. It’s easier said than done but that’s likely what people like her want. They want you to be upset and that’s how they get control. They’re… really sad people.” _

_ Kaede didn’t know if her mom meant those people were sad as in disappointing or sad as in their mood. _ **_“_ ** _ Aw. If empathy is the one thing I’m good at and empathy is taught, maybe I can teach her!” _

_ Her mom corrected, “Whoa, hold on. Empathy isn’t ‘the one thing you’re good at.’ Did you forget how talented you are at the piano? And kindness and empathy are two separate things, both of which you’re good at. You’re smart, you’re funny—” _

_ Kaede rolled her eyes and blushed. “Okay, okay, I get it, mom. Sheesh.” _

_ “Just don’t say that about yourself, okay?” _

_ “But that would work right?” Kaede gasped, ideas popping into her head. “If she wants attention, I could give her attention and she wouldn’t need to pick on anyone anymore!” _

_ Her mom tapped her finger to her chin. “I think good people help bad people get better, but it takes a lot of work.” _

_ “I don’t care! Hard work always has its payoffs!” Kaede held her fists up, determined. _

_ “...I don’t think anything I say is going to change your opinion.” She sighed. “Please, don’t tire yourself out, sweetie. If it doesn’t work, don’t worry too much about it.” _

_ If there were some rules of the world that Kaede knew that other people didn’t, why wouldn’t she share that knowledge? “I’m gonna do it!” She exclaimed, not listening. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow and we’ll be friends eventually! Thanks, mom, love you!” She quickly kissed her mom on the cheek and ran up to her room, leaving the towel on the rack and the dishes soaked. _

_ “Love you too, sweetie,” her mom said, dropping her shoulders at her daughter’s tunnel vision. _

Good people help bad people get better. That was the rule. What went wrong with her and Celeste? Why was Kaede the bad one? All she did was follow the rule.

She must’ve done it wrong. Of course she did it wrong, Kaede was always wrong. She always forgot a rule, was never sure which ones override others, never knew which rules applied in which circumstances. Speak loud and clear but not too loud indoors. Talk to people who don’t often get spoken to but not when you’re supposed to be quiet. Look people in the eyes but don’t stare; it makes people, especially girls, feel gross and violated.

Don’t make fun of people. Kaede knew that. Her own mother confirmed that Kaede knew not to make fun of people and yet, she did anyway. She didn’t  _ know _ she was making fun of Celeste. Why didn’t she realize it? Why didn’t she notice that Celeste didn’t like being called weird and edgy? Maybe if she could just  _ pay attention _ , she could’ve seen something; an eye twitch, a scowl, tension in her shoulders,  _ something. _ But no. She didn’t notice because she wasn’t smart enough to get her brain to focus on the right things.

She made fun of Celeste. Her mom would be disappointed in her.

She didn’t know. Her mother didn’t know how much of an idiot her daughter was, how good at faking being a good person her daughter was. Was she even good at faking it? Celeste saw right through her. Celeste saw it before anyone else, before even Kaede saw it.

Don’t go through people’s things. Kaede didn’t have anything to hide, so she didn’t think that someone else wouldn’t. Kaede didn’t  _ think _ . Why didn’t she think?! She knew Celeste was lying about what was in her coffin but at the time— oh god, Celeste was right. She didn’t care. Kaede didn’t really care about Celeste’s feelings at the time. If it was something weird and embarrassing inside, Kaede didn’t care. Celeste was mean and mean people deserved to get punished.

Kaede deserved this punishment. Kaede was the one being mean.

Don’t tell people what to do. Did she ever learn that rule? She didn’t remember anyone telling her that. Maybe they did, she didn’t remember. That kind of rule must be implied, something everyone except her knew. Fifteen years old and she still didn’t get it. Kaede was too stupid to realize she did that to her friends. She didn’t know she was forcing anyone to do anything but now that she was told, it was so obvious. She wanted to help Celeste by following that rule, the ‘good people help bad people get better’ rule, but was so blindsided by fixing her that she forgot about all the other rules about being a decent human being. Celeste wasn’t going to change on her own, so had thought pushing her was the only way.

But a push was a push, no matter how light it was. Don’t push people.

All the bets she made with Celeste, those were all pushes. All the begging; pushes. All the scolding, all the correcting, all the touching—

Don’t touch people without their permission.

How many times had Kaede been taught that rule? She loved hugs and they were a great way of connecting with people. She’d been told several times not to hug people without asking first since lots of people don’t like them for some reason and every so often, more often than not, she’d forget. The desire to connect with people was stronger than her ability to control herself. With Celeste, it was more than a desire, it was an urge.

A dirty urge where if any part of Celeste’s body touched hers, Kaede would be satisfied. A hand, a shoulder, even the edges of her dress— no, she wouldn’t be satisfied. She’d crave more. She’d want to spend every waking moment with Celeste like some creepy pervert that stalked their victims. Were these the thoughts that people like Teruteru had? If only Kaede could wipe those dirty urges from her mind so the important rules could stick.

Why did she have to like Celeste? Why did it feel like she was so attracted to mean girls? If she wasn’t so obsessed with proving herself to be a good person, to be a functioning member of society that followed its rules, maybe she wouldn’t care for the people that always broke them. Now, there was no way Celeste would want to be  _ friends _ , let alone anything more. Kaede probably lost the rest of her friends too. Who would want to be friends with a bad person, other than idiots like her?

She curled up in her bed and cried. Sobbing, weeping, shrieking; she wouldn’t stop. There was a knock on her door, several over a span of twenty minutes, but she didn’t want to get up. She couldn’t face whoever it was. Her phone buzzed but it took an hour for her to muster the courage to even look at the messages.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Hey, can we talk? I’m outside your door.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Please, Kaede. You aren’t a bad person like Celeste says.

Liar. If he wasn’t lying, Kaede must’ve tricked him into believing she was good. ‘Like Celeste says,’ meaning she  _ was _ a bad person but not in the way Celeste said. She was too afraid to talk to him and potentially forget a rule, making the situation worse.

**Shuichi Saihara:** I’m going back to my room but if you want to talk, you can. Even if I’m asleep.

Kaede sighed and sniffled; there was nothing to say.

**Kaito Momota:** we dont h8 u. We knw if u do smthg that hurts us u dont meen it. im srs when i say theres no good or bad.

He didn’t get it.

**Mikan Tsumiki:** im sorry for being weak ill be strong for you if thats what you want ill do anything for you youre one of my closest friends and also one of my only friends youre a better friend than i could ever ask for how can i be strong ill do anything please tell me what i can do to make you happy ill do anything!!!!!!

**Mikan Tsumiki:** ANYTHING!!!!

Kaede felt bad for thinking that Mikan was unstable, but Mikan could take the smallest word choice and twist it to fit her own self-hating narrative. Kaede didn’t want to hurt her anymore than she already did.

She stayed up all night, maybe falling asleep around four or five in the morning until the morning bell woke her up. She didn’t move. Even when someone knocked on her door, presumably Shuichi, she didn’t move.

After a few minutes, there was another knock, one much stronger than the one before. She received a text.

**Maki Harukawa:** Get out here. Celeste is being annoying.

Kaede didn’t respond. She wasn’t hungry. She didn’t even feel like playing piano. She didn’t feel like doing anything.

More time passed and she got another text.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** Not eating? Remember, if you do not eat three meals a day, you will not get your bluefin tuna. :-)

Asshole.

After falling asleep again, this time past lunch, she was awoken again by her phone.

**Shuichi Saihara:** You don’t have to talk but please respond so I know you’re okay.

She wasn’t okay but it seemed like Shuichi’s nerves were getting the better of him and was making the situation much more serious than it was.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** :{

**Shuichi Saihara:** I want to talk but again, if you don’t want to, I understand.

Was it even possible to salvage their friendship after what she said about him? Maybe if she said the right things.

But that would never happen.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Im sorry i called you weak. i dont know why i said that.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Its fine.

**Shuichi Saihara:** No, actually, its not fine. I want to be honest with you because youre my best friend and I dont want to lie to you.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Im sorry. you can be honest.

**Shuichi Saihara:** It hurt. It hurt a lot. I think it hurt because youre right, Im weak and its even worse that you said it in front of the rest of our friends. Im not confident like you or Kaito, I know, and I was really hoping I could hide it from you guys but I guess Im not good at hiding. What you said was true and I hated it. I hate knowing the truth. I dont want my friends to think Im the weakest link in the group. I stayed up all night hoping that maybe you misspoke or I heard you wrong but I know deep down in my heart that you meant what you said.

Why did she give him the okay to be honest? His words were digging into wounds. Maybe she needed the pain. Kaede wanted to type out a long apology but she saw that he was still typing.

**Shuichi Saihara:** I want things to go back to where they were. I want to go back to the first few weeks when I first met you and Kaito where everything was fine. But we can’t. And after a long night of thinking, I dont think its good for us to go back anyway. You know that saying about how you cant put toothpaste back in the bottle? I dont think we should waste that toothpaste. Maybe thats a dumb analogy but I think we should try and do better. Ill become stronger. To be honest, I think Im already getting better from when we first met. I dont think I wouldve said all this if this happened a few months ago. Youre still my friend if you want to be. I dont hate you. I hate myself for not being strong enough for you. Im sorry.

Shuichi didn’t need to apologize; Kaede was the one at fault. He had done nothing wrong but be himself.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** I dont know. if im going to hurt you all the time maybe we shouldnt be friends.

Tears poured out of her eyes as she hit send. She didn’t want to lose her best friend, but if that was what had to happen to keep him from harm, so be it.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Its not all the time. If Im being honest, sometimes you say things to me that are insensitive. Like telling me not to worry about the things I worry about. If it were that easy, Id do it. But its not like you tell me every day. Youre fine most of the time.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Im sorry. I just wanted to make you feel better. I dont want you to be sad.

**Shuichi Saihara:** I know but it makes it clear that you dont feel the same way I do and I feel more alone because of it.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** I wish i could understand how other people work. theres all these rules of society that everyone knows except me. and when i learn a new rule i always forget them because the only thing i can think about is what i already know. i was only thinking that eventually youd realize not to worry too much but i was being selfish. i wasnt thinking about your feelings i was only thinking about stopping them.

**Shuichi Saihara:** I shouldve told you sooner.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** And i shouldve known to be more empathetic. i wish i knew how to say the right things. I want to tell you that im proud of you for having the courage to tell me all this but i dont want you to think you need my approval. i want to say so much but i dont know how to say it without being an asshole. now that i know i can be insensitive everything feels off. but i dont want you to feel bad for saying im insensitive. im glad you told me but i dont know what to do now. im sorry for everything. im sorry for hurting you, forcing you to do things you dont want to do, calling you weak, being insensitive, and anything else that ive done that i havent realized yet. you can wear your hat its okay. im sorry for judging you.

**Shuichi Saihara:** I accept all your apologies. I know you dont mean to hurt anyone. I hope we can still be friends.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** I hope so too. I want to understand you better.

**Shuichi Saihara:** I want to understand you better, too.

She wanted to tell him what’s been going on between her and Celeste. As much as she wanted to explain the intricacies of ADHD to him, he’d probably never fully understand. The big thing that was stressing her out was her complicated relationship with Celeste. Why would she like her? Was it possible to be friends with her? Could Celeste like her back? Does Celeste even like girls? Would she like Kaede after all this?

Kaede wasn’t ready. It would be a huge test of how much she trusted him and she wanted him to pass, and yet the first and last time she told someone, it ended up biting her back. There was too much shame. She was too ashamed of her feelings, too ashamed that she trusted someone enough to admit them, and too ashamed that she couldn’t trust her best friend enough to tell him.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Ive been going through a lot of stuff that i havent told you about. i want to tell you but i cant. im sorry. one day i hope i can.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Honestly, Ive been going through some stuff too. Maybe when Im strong enough I can tell you. Youll probably be the first to know. I trust you.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Yeah same with you. i trust you but its just hard to talk about.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Yeah…

**Shuichi Saihara:** Im happy we talked.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Me too.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Dont forget to eat something. Celeste seems really upset about it.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Im concerned too! I just wanted to make sure you were okay first.

**Kaede Akamatsu:** I dont know. im not really hungry. ill go for a walk or something

**Shuichi Saihara:** Okay. Ill see you later?

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Yeah ill see you

She laid her phone down and slowly propped herself up. She didn’t bother showering or changing her clothes— she had slept in the clothes she wore during training— and only washed the dried snot and tears from her face. Before leaving, she put her ehandbook in her pocket, deciding to leave her phone in her room. She didn’t want to have anymore draining conversations.

Kaede walked aimlessly in the heat. Where was she supposed to go anyway? What was she supposed to do now? Shuichi made her feel a little bit better, but he wasn’t going to fix any problem within her. At least he still wanted to be friends.

But what about the rest of them? She called Mikan weak too. Kaede felt bad for thinking it, but Mikan revolved herself around other people and hardly did anything on her own. Now, Mikan was focused on pleasing Kaede after what she said. How was she supposed to change her opinion of her friend? How was she supposed to stop seeing her as weak?

Regarding Maki, did Maki even like her? Kaede had forced her to get someone she hated to join the team. Kaede knew Maki and Celeste didn’t like each other and took advantage of that to get Celeste to join. She wasn’t thinking about either of their feelings. Maki only wanted to listen to Kaito, the natural leader that Kaede was jealous of. Did Kaede want to help people or did she just want a bunch of followers to look up to her like Maki did with him?

It was probably the latter and Kaito was aware of it. He didn’t disagree with anything Celeste said. Kaito, who always believed in his friends, didn’t say that Celeste was wrong about Kaede being a bad person.

And Celeste, how was Kaede going to remain friends with Celeste now? Were they even friends? Maybe Kaede had forced friendship down her throat so much that Celeste got fed up and played along. Still, everything felt real. Their friendship felt real. And Kaede ruined it.

She found herself at Gundham’s ranch, though he was nowhere to be seen. Despite the noise from the animals, it was a peaceful place; Kaede could see how Gundham could become an Ultimate Breeder from being around a place like that all the time. Just him and the animals who didn’t care about anything. As long as their basic needs were met, they were happy. Animals didn’t have to worry about rules and friendship and trust. If only life was that easy for her.

There was very little shade, so Kaede made her way into the barn. There, she slouched on one of the haystacks, tempted to lay down from exhaustion despite the painful prickles. She looked up when she heard a familiar noise.

“Mow.”

She had completely forgotten about the cat, Cheri, who looked at her with dilated pupils and his tongue poking out. He must’ve been asleep before she showed up; he laid on top of a haystack across from her, on his side with his head perked up and both ears facing her. He got up, stretched his little cat arms, and stared at Kaede, his eyes turning back to slits.

“Mow.”

He was such a cute cat— so furry— but he was a mischievous little devil. Kaede tried her best to ignore him and looked down at the floor.

“Mooow.” Cheri hopped down and trotted over to Kaede. He sniffed one of her dangling legs, his wet nose grazing her. She pulled her legs away from him and crossed them, only for Cheri to leap up next to her. He lifted his chin and displayed the closest thing a cat could show as a smile, waiting for Kaede to pet her.

The same trick. Kaede wasn’t going to fall for it. Both Cheri and his owner had managed to trick her.

Why did that have to happen to her? Was Celeste not comfortable with telling Kaede she didn’t want to wear Shuichi’s hat? Had Kaede made Celeste uncomfortable? No, she had told her she wasn’t going to wear the hat, but Kaede didn’t listen. It was her fault. She should’ve listened.

Were there other times Celeste was actually the Ultimate Imposter? Was Kaede actually falling for the Ultimate Imposter instead of Celeste? She didn’t even know the imposter’s gender; did that mean she wasn’t a lesbian? Maybe she did like other genders and she confessed the wrong sexuality to that person. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could’ve liked Leon. Everything was so much more confusing now! She was already stressed enough with finding out she was a lesbian and now she had to reconsider everything again!

Did she even like Celeste? How could she not recognize the girl she liked? If they were the Ultimate Imposter, that meant they were good at impersonating people, so it would be understandable for someone to not realize it but this was someone Kaede  _ liked. _ She should’ve known something was wrong and even the things she did notice, she should’ve been smart enough to draw conclusions in the details.

The details. Kaede always missed the details. Every essay she had to write, the teacher would always say she was missing details. Every math assignment, she would forget to show her work. Every history test, Kaede couldn’t remember exact dates. The only time Kaede could focus on the smaller things was when she was listening to music. She could differentiate between each instrument, recognize each note, all the way down to hearing the musician’s fingers tap on keys or pluck at strings. That’s all she was good for. The only thing she could do was play piano. She couldn’t function in school, she could barely maintain her friendships, even if they were easy to start up, and she was bad at love. Kaede couldn’t recognize the girl she liked, the girl that overwhelmed her mind and attention for months.

She was just a dirty pervert after all. It must not have mattered exactly who the person was, if they were similar to Celeste, she thought they were hot. It didn’t matter if the imposter was Celeste, as long as Kaede thought they were, then they were a target for Kaede’s attraction. How did they feel? They were probably disgusted or disturbed by it. They said it very clearly: if they knew Kaede had feelings for Celeste, they never would have agreed to impersonate her. Kaede violated them by being momentarily attracted to them.

And now what was going to happen? They said they would keep it a secret, but who knows? They also said they were Celeste and that was a lie. Maybe they wouldn’t tell, but they knew. They knew how disgusting Kaede was for confessing such a horrible secret. Why had Kaede been brave enough to believe the secret was worth telling? Why would she think anyone would accept her? The world didn’t. Even if prefectures had different laws, overall, same-sex marriage wasn’t recognized in Japan and dozens of other countries in the world. Laws were literally society's rules. She had to follow the rules. Her love was illegal. She knew this but forgot every time she looked at Celeste.

Kaede had to remember. There were no more excuses. Her botched confession should be a lesson to get her to remember. There was no use in trying; it couldn’t go anywhere. She needed to wipe away all of her attraction for Celeste. Celeste probably wasn’t even a friend anymore; all trust between them had washed away.

And it was all her fault. If Kaede hadn’t confessed and just gone along with the imposter, the revelation wouldn’t have happened. If Kaede hadn’t forced Celeste to wear a stupid hat, Celeste wouldn’t have betrayed her. If Kaede hadn’t been obsessed with getting her to join the training team, she wouldn’t have fallen for her. If Kaede hadn’t overslept that one, cursed morning, Kaede wouldn’t have even met Celeste.

It was all her fault.

She bent over and cried into her hands.

“Mew! Meeeew!” Kaede heard Cheri’s meows, much softer than usual, and felt his squishy little cat toe beans on her arm. She turned to him and saw he was standing up on his hind legs, propping himself up on her. “Mew!” He outstretched one of his paws and gently tapped her cheek.

“...Cheri?” Was this another trick he learned?

“Rrow.” He stepped into the gap in her legs and smashed his forehead into her face, his fur sticking to her tears.

She leaned back. “Cheri, I’m not gonna touch you if this is a trick,” she sniffled. “Get off of me, boy.”

He was a cat and cats always did their own thing. He walked circles into her lap and once he got comfortable, rested on her as he purred. He didn’t look dangerous and his soft fur looked comforting to pet.

“Are you going to bite me?” She hovered her hand over his head and before she lowered it, Cheri tilted his head up, inviting the pet. He closed his eyes, at ease.

Caaaaaaat!

Did he recognize she was crying and wanted to make her feel better? Where did he learn this?

This cat, who had only met her once, was okay with Kaede petting him. Cats weren’t usually this trusting. Was it because of Cheri’s personality or was he only doing what he was used to doing, what he was trained to do? If that was the case, there was a lot more to his owner than she let be known. Kaede had suspected that from the start, but didn’t have any solid evidence. It was just something she knew. Maybe she  _ had _ picked up on smaller things but didn’t notice it. Maybe Kaede wasn’t as oblivious and unempathetic as she thought. Maybe she was right about Celeste.

But that didn’t mean Celeste was wrong. Kaede wasn’t sure if she was a bad person or not, but she did know she hurt her friends. She had to find a way to grow and get better. How? She didn’t know yet.

Until then, she was going to hold Cheri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She can only go up from here. Also, if any of you relate with Kaede here, I don't know you, but I promise you aren't stupid. Just because school and some social situations are hard, doesn't mean you're dumb. You aren't a dirty pervert either. You're a human being with feelings. The Perverted Queer is a century-old trope. Media literally invented this just to make people afraid of you and to make you hate yourself. It's not you.
> 
> There's a documentary called The Celluloid Closet that talks about stuff like this. Maybe it can bring you comfort by making you mad at how much movies suck :)


	21. One Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the closest I can get to a Halloween chapter. I was going to make a Celegiri one shot but alas... I do not have the time to write that and this story at the same time. This chapter will probably be the most (?) serious this story gets.
> 
> Warning: Food Horror. If that's too much for you, I'll post a summary of what happens in this chapter in the endnotes so you can prepare yourself or skip this chapter entirely if you need to. The horror part is marked with a *** in the endnotes.

Celeste impatiently tapped her foot, staring at the uneaten baguette in front of her. While the rest of the dining hall was bursting with high energy, the table with her, Kaito, Mikan, and Maki were dead silent. Mikan twiddled her fingers, Kaito twirled a spoon as he stared into empty space, and Maki rested her head on her fist.

When Shuichi, and only Shuichi, finally walked into the dining hall and to their table, he shrugged in defeat. “She’s not answering the door. I checked her lab, too. She’s not there.” He hid his face under the hat that was returned to him.

Kaede wasn’t the kind of person to hide in shame; she faced her problems head-on, as intensely and aggressively as she needed to be. That was what Celeste liked about her. Now she was avoiding her friends? “Ridiculous,” Celeste said under her breath.

Mikan held her head. “Oh no, it’s my fault! She’s mad at me and doesn’t want to see me again!”

“Not everything is about you, Mikan,” Maki droned. “Relax.”

Celeste snapped her fingers twice in front of Maki’s face. “Go get her.”

Clearly annoyed by Celeste’s act of disrespect, Maki said, “Shuichi already tried.”

“Try harder.”

There was nothing she could do; Celeste had power over her. Maki groaned but before she could stand up, Kaito held her arm. “Hey. I think we should give Kaede some space.”

Celeste didn’t care about Kaede ‘needing space.’ She _needed_ to eat. What did she need space for? What was she doing? _Crying?_ Celeste wasn’t going to believe she made her only friend cry. Kaede was fine. She’d be back and everything would return to normal. “You are going to let your teammate go hungry again? That is not good teammate behavior.”

Maki furrowed her eyebrows. “Neither is having someone be your body double.”

“Neither is keeping extremely important secrets,” Celeste returned.

That was all she needed. Maki snatched her arm away and stomped out of the dining hall with clenched fists, but when she returned five minutes later without Kaede, she dropped back into her seat. “She’s not coming,” Maki accepted.

Imbeciles! Kaede was probably doing this on purpose to make Celeste feel bad. She wasn’t going to let Kaede win. She swung out her phone and sent Kaede a text.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Not eating? Remember, if you do not eat three meals a day, you will not get your bluefin tuna. :-)

There. That should work. When Celeste looked up, she saw everyone eating their food, accepting Kaede wasn’t going to show up.

“H-Hey!” Celeste interrupted. “We agreed to not eat until all of us are here!”

Maki shook her head. “Just shut up, Celeste.”

Celeste scoffed. “You are mad at me? What did _I_ do?”

Maki squeezed her fork. “Are you serious? We canceled training because of you.”

She put her hand over her chest. “So I am supposed to accept mistreatment? I am to accept my boundaries crossed. And what right do _you_ have to tell me this? I seem to recall you agreeing with me.”

“I agree that Kaede’s fake and annoying, not evil. You just wanted to hurt her feelings ‘cus you like making people suffer.”

“I did not. I told the truth.”

“Yeah, like you _ever_ tell the truth.”

Kaito slammed his fist onto the table. “Quit it, you two! Kaede’s our friend, so don’t talk about her like that! What the hell is your problem, anyway?!” He crossed his arms. “From day one, you two have always been yelling at each other like you’re mortal enemies. Why? What’s up with you two?”

Celeste could barely remember why she initially hated Maki, all she knew was Maki hated her too.

“She’s a spoiled bitch,” Maki stated. “I’ve been really clear about that. Kaede’s the only one that wanted her here in the first place.”

“All I did was be myself and Maki hates me.” Celeste pouted. “I am only defending myself.”

“How are you defending yourself when you’re the one causing all the problems? Things were fine before you showed up. It’s stupid, entitled people like you that always cause problems and force other people to clean up your messes.” Maki pointed a finger at her. “I swear, if it were just you and me, then I’d—”

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

Maki froze in place as everyone went silent, wondering where the noise came from. Since she and Maki were looking at each other at the time, Celeste was the only one who really saw how much emotion was instantly wiped off of her face. Slowly, her eyes fell to the pager hooked at her side. Upon realizing what she read, Maki’s body relaxed not from comfort, but from emotional exhaustion. Bad news, presumably. To everyone, in the hollowest voice Celeste had ever heard from her, Maki declared in a voice completely devoid of all the rage she previously had, “I can’t go to training tonight.”

Shuichi frowned, “Aw, really?”

Maki slouched. “I have work.”

Celeste’s heart skipped a beat. Everyone else thought work meant she got called to babysit, but she knew what it really meant. The pager was a reality check that Maki really was an assassin, a cold-blooded murderer. Someone out in the world was going to die. Why should Celeste care? People died every day. She should get used to assassins anyway; Celeste was an underground gambler and the underground had some shady people. She should’ve accepted this already, but knowing Maki was going to come back after committing such a heinous crime and act as if nothing happened was admittedly terrifying.

She waved the threat of revealing her secret over Maki’s face like it was nothing, but the reminder that Maki really was a murderer, a talented one, complicated her already complicated life.

Did she even care? As long as Celeste wasn’t the one whose name slid across the pager, did Celeste care? An assassin is a useful ally. She already told people she hired assassins to kill anyone she didn’t like. Now, she _could._ Would she? Celestia Ludenberg would, but was Celeste Celestia Ludenberg? Was Celeste truly willing to have someone killed on her behalf? An assassin was just a job, like a programmer that fixed problems on a computer or a manager that lets go of unnecessary people for a company.

But with the empty look in her eyes, the same look that Celeste’s father had on his face when he returned from war, it was obvious this wasn’t just a job. It wasn’t the kind of job where you could leave everything behind at work. It stayed with her, no matter how much she pretended like it didn’t. “I’m not going to class either,” Maki said. “I’ll be in my lab. Don’t bother me.” Quickly, Maki picked up her plate and threw the contents in the trash. “Bye.”

“O-Oh,” Mikan stuttered, picking up on Maki’s strange air. “See you tomorrow?”

Maki turned her back on everyone and said nothing, making no promises.

She might not come back, and Celeste was the only one who knew the weight of that. The rest of the team continued eating, going on with their usual breakfast as if nothing was wrong.

What was Celeste going to do if Kaede never came back? What if Celeste destroyed their friendship so much that she isolated her from her friends? Was she supposed to forget about Kaede? Disregard what they could’ve been if she hadn’t fucked it all up over a hat?

She crossed her arms and stared at the baguette. To eat meant she would move on from Kaede. To eat would mean she didn’t care. Kaito wanted to give her space, but it was Celeste that took that space from her. But was she going to allow herself to go hungry for the morning? Every meal should be cherished; how many people in the world would do anything they could to get a bite of the food she had in front of her? What would Taeko from a few years ago say to her for wasting food like this? Waste. Celeste was such a waste.

By the time students started getting up to get ready for class, Celeste still had her eyes on her now cold bread.

“You good, Eight-Point-Five?” Kaito put his hand on her shoulder.

“Mm.” Celeste lifted her hand, signaling she didn’t want to be bothered.

Even when the rest of the team left and the later crowd came in for breakfast, Celeste didn’t move.

Shit. Was this really what it was like to feel guilty? She didn’t want to feel like this anymore. Out of the accessible team members, Celeste felt closest to Kaito. She trusted him; maybe he could make her feel better.

He almost never went to class, so he was guaranteed to be in his lab. After climbing the insanely long flight of stairs to get to his lab, she saw the door was open and knocked on the door, making her presence known.

“Yo!” He called out. “Come in!”

When she entered, her stomach dropped at the immediate motion sickness she got. Inside, Kaito rested in a simulated space ship, leaning in the back of the chair with his hands behind his head. On the screen was deep space; stars and asteroids peacefully floated by but the lack of clear movement had Celeste maintaining her balance by pressing against the wall.

“Oh, hey, Eight-Point-Five.” He gestured to the first officer seat next to him. “It feels better if you sit down.”

Resting next to him, she asked, “Is this what you do all day?”

“No, I mess with the controls sometimes, but right now… I’m just tryna ease my mind.”

Celeste looked at him. “This is about last night, yes?”

“Yeah. A lot came out last night.”

She didn’t want to feel bad. She wanted to believe that Kaede was entirely at fault and that she was the problem, not Celeste. She hated the guilt and wanted it out of her. At the same time, she wanted to believe she was Celestia Ludenberg, accept that her actions were unethical, and to be the antagonist of her story. “Was I wrong in what I said?”

Kaito sighed and reclined in his chair. “Sharing how you feel is never wrong.”

“I am… not sure if what I said was the truth. Emotions can muddy the perception of reality.”

He paused, tapping his finger on his stomach. “You weren’t wrong.”

“And do you believe what Kaede said was true? That I am a good person on the inside?”

“I told you, there’s no such thing as a good person or a bad person!”

“There are certainly bad people in this world.”

“But in the universe—”

“Just answer me, Kaito,” she said, straight-forward.

He frowned, rubbing his neck. “...A good person doesn’t trick her friends.” There she had it. Celeste was Celestia Ludenberg, Celeste was evil. She could never be good. This is what she wanted.

So why did it hurt so much to hear Kaito say it?

He shook his hand, showing he wasn’t finished. “It doesn’t make you a bad person either.”

This was all too confusing. Nothing made sense. She had to be either good or bad. There was no in-between.

“Listen,” Kaito continued. “You hurt Kaede’s feelings, even if what you said was true. I think Kaede needed to hear it, but not like that. There was a nicer way to put it.” Nicer. Celeste was supposed to be _nicer._ Stupid!

“You do not understand.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“No.” He turned to her, giving her his full attention. “Tell me what I don’t understand.”

“...I need you all to hate me.”

He blinked. “Why?”

She didn’t have a solid answer beyond, “That is just how things should be.”

“Who told you that?”

No one. It was just something she knew. “Everyone has their place in the world. It is mine to be hated.”

“I… I don’t think that,” he said, concerned.

“I do not like this feeling, Kaito. I do not like knowing I hurt someone that I—” She stopped herself before confessing. “Things would be much easier if I did not care.”

“Yeah. Maybe. But that’s not how it is.”

Celeste admitted, “She is my friend. I do… care about her.”

“Of course,” Kaito nodded, “that’s why you told her she hurt you. You care enough to want her to be better. I think she wanted the same for you. I want both of you to get better, too.”

She felt her body tense. She never expected someone to care enough about her to want her to grow.

This was so _fucked!_ Celeste didn’t want to be better, but she didn’t want to hurt her friends either! She just wanted to live a life of decadence, but her stupid feelings got in the way! What the hell was she supposed to choose?!

_“The real Eight-Point-Five is somewhere inside of you. If you keep her hidden, no one will ever get to know her and she’ll never make any valuable connections. And if you live a life without real connections, then you’re beyond pathetic. You’re a goddamn loser.”_

Kaito’s words from weeks prior echoed in her head. She wasn’t going to lose. If she wanted to get rid of her guilt, she had to do something about it.

One day. Kaede only wanted Celeste to be nice for one day.

She clicked her tongue. “Goddammit. I hate you, Kaito.”

He sat up. “Huh? What did I do?”

“Nothing.” She stood up and headed towards the exit. “I am going to fix this.”

As good as Kaito was at giving advice, he wasn’t going to understand the complexities of being a bad person. She recalled the time when Mikan shared a story of her father and how she had called herself a ‘bad kid,’ something Celeste knew well. The understanding had to be mutual; Mikan seemed to know about Celeste’s parents even without Celeste telling anyone.

Mikan wouldn’t judge her if she told her, right? She would relate. Mikan wouldn’t shame Celeste for having shitty parents. As long as Celeste left out their money problems, could she let out the thing that had been haunting her for years? Could she trust Mikan enough to listen to her with care?

She found herself standing outside one of the classrooms, stealthily peering into class C. Inside, she saw a few students— everyone else was probably practicing their talent— but she only cared about Shuichi. Once class was over and the students rushed out, she tapped him on the shoulder. “Shuichi, may I borrow you for a moment?”

“Ah,” He adjusted the textbook he was holding to be in a more comfortable position. “What’s up?”

Shuichi was Kaede’s best friend. He had to have some insight. “Do you… believe Kaede will be okay?”

“Um… it’s hard to tell. I’ve been trying to text her, but she hasn’t responded.”

“Hm. Frankly, I find it strange that she reacted in such a way to such a small thing. I imagined she was stronger willed.”

“You said some pretty harsh things.”

“I told her the truth that no one else would say.”

Shuichi pulled his hat down. “Yeah… you did. This is why I hate the truth so much.”

“You would much rather live life through lies?” she joked. “Hmhmhm. If you do, I cannot say you could hide for long. Not at least from me. It is my profession after all.”

“No, I… I just don’t want to see Kaede hurt.”

“Did you agree with what I said last night?”

“I think there was a nicer way you could’ve put it, but yeah.”

Celeste groaned. “Nicer… everyone wants me to be nicer. You, Kaede, Kaito…”

Shuichi didn’t say anything, but it didn’t matter. Celeste had already made up her mind.

One day. Kaede only wanted Celeste to be nice for one day.

“Shuichi, I would like to borrow your hat.”

He jumped up. “Wh-What?!”

She rolled her eyes at his overreaction. “Only for today.”

“You’re… doing this for Kaede, aren’t you?”

Celeste clarified, “No, I am doing this because your hat is ugly and I hate seeing you in it.” She laughed in his face. “However, I would also like to ask you if Kaito has ever given you a lecture on what we are training for.”

Shuichi nodded reluctantly.

“You do not have to tell me what it is. But know that if I were to wear your hat, technically, it would be what I have been training for. So far, he has been right about what he said to me.”

“Yeah, I, uh, think giving this to you would be what I’ve been training for too.

“So, we both benefit from this.”

They smiled at each other. Shuichi removed his hat and placed it in her hand.

Examining it, she asked, “Before I put this on, may I ask when was the last time you washed it?”

“...You’re supposed to wash caps?”

“Ack— Are you serious?! You disgusting pig! Uuuuugh!” She gagged but still put on the hat. “The things I do for Kaede…!”

“So it _is_ for—”

“Shut up!” Celeste threatened him with the sharp ring around her index finger. “Go to class, nerd!”

“Sorry!” He ran off.

Step one, done. Now for step two. Taking out her phone, she sighed and sent a text.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Hello, Mikan. You will be eating lunch with me, just the two of us. I have something I wish to discuss with you.

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??????? （｀〇Д〇）ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ﾉ ｡｡(ﾉ´д)ﾉ

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Respond coherently.

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** okay!!1!!1 ill see you then!!! orz

Done. With her chest pounding in nervous anticipation, she needed to do something to set her mind somewhere else. Celeste walked outside and found two small sticks. Bringing them to her room, she used some of her thread to weave the two sticks together, forming a cross.

When it turned to lunchtime, Celeste hoped that Kaede was at least eating with Shuichi and Kaito.

By one in the afternoon, makeshift cross in hand, she headed to the dining hall, where there were very few people eating. Good. Fewer people to see her. At first, she didn’t see Mikan until she came fumbling out of the kitchen holding a plate and a bowl.

“Good afternoon,” Celeste greeted.

“H-H-Hi!” Once Celeste got closer, she saw that the bowl and plate had something in them: the bowl had ramen and the plate had… gyoza? “I made us lunch, i-if that’s okay. I know you like gyoza, so I studied thirty different recipes. I hope it’s okay— please don’t hate me! Gggggh.”

“Oh! What a kind gesture!” Her stomach growled, angered by her unwillingness to eat breakfast. Mikan’s fear of resentment was surprisingly useful. Celeste pulled out the cross she made. “I have brought you a gift: a symbol of peace. As a vampire, I cannot do anything malicious in the presence of a cross, hmhm.” She held it out. “You must accept it. It sears me just holding it.”

“R-Really?” Mikan placed the bowl and plate on a table and took the cross. “Thank you…”

They sat down, Celeste immediately eyeing the six gyoza in front of her. It smelled delicious and steam rose from its surface, indicating how fresh it was.

She expected Mikan to start eating her ramen, but Mikan hadn’t moved an inch. Looking up, Celeste couldn’t even tell if Mikan was breathing. She just stiffly stared at her, waiting. Of course, she was anticipating Celeste’s response to her meal. Celeste picked up one of the gyoza and ate it. It tasted fine, good even. It was nowhere near Teruteru’s expertise, but Mikan did seem to put care into the meal. Celeste loved it.

“Thank you, Mikan. I appreciate this gift.”

“Hee hee! Y-You’re welcome.” Celeste watched Mikan’s eyes slide up to Shuichi’s hat. “You’re… wearing the hat. Why?”

“This is what Kaede wanted.”

“She wanted you to be nicer,” Mikan said outright.

Jesus Christ. Patience, Mikan, Celeste was getting there!

Finally, Mikan began eating. “What did you wanna talk to me about? Did I do something?”

Celeste looked down at her food. She understood why Shuichi wore it all the time; it was a lot easier to talk to people if you didn’t have to look them in the eye. “You once said that looking at me is like looking into a mirror. What did you mean by this?”

“What did I mean?” Mikan spoke softly. “What did I mean, what did I mean, what did I mean?” She giggled again before spitting out, “I don’t know.”

Celeste shot up. “You… You do not know?”

“Sometimes, I say things that don’t make sense when I’m nervous. Gggggggh, I’m sorry…”

“Oh…” What was the point of talking to her about her parents if Mikan didn’t relate? Celeste took another look at Mikan, who slowly ate her food through thin lips. Mikan didn’t normally make eye contact but she stared at Celeste with wide eyes.

Liar.

“No,” Celeste rebutted, “people do not say things with no meaning. You meant what you said. I am asking you,” she paused, “ _desperately_ to explain to me why you said that.”

“Desperately?” Mikan slammed her hands on the table and looked under the hat. “You’re desperately asking _me_ a question?”

She didn’t have to rub it in. “Yes. I am.”

Mikan backed up. “Hm… Well, I’m really good at reading faces. For example, there’s a really specific way that people’s faces churn when their stomach hurts, hee hee… Your face, Celeste, can be a little hard to read… but sometimes, it’s easy. The faces you make, I’ve seen them before.” She tapped her fingers together as she looked down at her legs. “Despair, fear, shame, isolation… I know those feelings really well. You do too, don’t you?”

Celeste had to ignore her gut reaction to deflect what Mikan was saying. “Those emotions are normal for everyone. However, some people, one could assume— statistically speaking— feel them more often than others.” Mikan didn’t speak, unsure of how to respond. Fuck, Celeste would have to be outright. “Mikan… you shared a peculiar story the other day. The one about your father. I found it,” she took a deep breath, “relatable. In some ways.” Quickly, she stuffed another gyoza into her mouth to prevent her from saying anything more.

“Hee hee.”

When Celeste swallowed, she pointed out, “You are laughing at me?”

Mikan shook her head. “No, no, hee hee. Sometimes, I just laugh. I don’t know why.” Lying again. “Did your dad do the same thing that mine did to me?”

“No, of course not. He could never force me to do anything. He is too weak-minded; never raising his voice, always hiding in my parent’s room, hardly ever emoting, haha! I suppose a bad kid like me is too much for him. You understand this, yes?” She had to make herself clear. “You understand what it is like to be a bad kid? You said it yourself— surely, you understand. The reaction from our other team members felt out of place to me as I assumed they did not understand, but you do, yes?” She was nervously rambling. She ate another gyoza.

“Um… ggggggh. The team made me feel… gggggggh… gooey.”

“ _Gooey?_ Disgusting. I felt disgusted as well. The team simply does not understand.”

“No,” Mikan clutched her own shoulders, holding herself, and put on a drooling smile. “Gooey is good! You know when you can feel your insides move and your heart pushes blood through your organs, making them waaaaarm and guuuuushy? Hee hee hee! It’s the best feeling in the world!”

Celeste thought of the time she tasted Kaede’s sweet tea; tea that was so sweet that Celeste’s teeth, ones that she paid a hefty amount of money to fix, would rot from how sweet it was. Her teeth, a symbol of wealth and newfound high status, would deteriorate from how absurdly Kaede’s sweet tea was. How absurdly sweet _Kaede_ was. It wasn’t the tea that warmed Celeste’s insides, it was Kaede who could be so astonishingly foolish to add so much honey to her beverage.

She recalled how each powerful hug in Kaede’s soft arms made Celeste feel a safety she’d never experienced before. And all the times Kaede spoke directly from her heart. And how smoothly her fingers moved across piano keys. And how passionate she could get in any conversation. And how much Celeste yearned to kiss her rambling lips.

And how despite everything, there was still an inexplicable pain within her.

“I am familiar with that ‘gooey’ feeling,” Celeste said. “I do not like it.”

“You didn’t like that Maki said my dad was being cruel? That Kaede said he was bullying me? You _want_ me to be bullied?!” Mikan started sobbing.

“Do not jump to conclusions,” she could’ve said that nicer, “...please. I am trying to say that I did not like everyone else’s reactions, as if our experiences were strange and abnormal. Take for instance, my…” She could feel her heart rate increasing. “M-My mother rarely speaks with me, but you do not see me complaining. If I told them this, they would not like it. I do not believe they understand what it is like to be a bad kid. It is not bullying, it is a consequence.” She ate again, mushing the pork in the gyoza between her teeth. Was Mikan going to say anything about her mother?

“Complaining…” Mikan’s body froze, except for her hand that swirled the ramen in her bowl. “Complaining… hee hee!” She gave a bright smile. “Nagito was complaining about stomach pains earlier today. A lot of things can cause abdominal cramps: eating too much, gas, menstrual cycles, bacterial or viral infections, cysts…” Her eyes bugged out, staring into Celeste’s soul. “After some tests, I found out it was worms. Tapeworms.”

Swallowing, Celeste said, “I would prefer if you did not mention such disturbing things during a meal. I would— uch.” She lowered her head, hiding her face behind the brim of Shuichi’s cap. “I would like to know your opinion on my mother not speaking to me. Can you relate at all?”

Mikan looked down. “A little. When my mom tells me something, she’s usually yelling at me about something I did wrong. Like you to Kaede last night. Now, Kaede’s depressed.”

That wasn’t what Celeste wanted to talk about. “Well, I am wearing Shuichi’s hat. When she finds out, things will be better.”

“Will it? I don’t think that’s what she’s mad about. You used the Ultimate Imposter to trick her.”

“That is behind us.”

Mikan doubled down. “You bullied her. That’s all you know how to do, isn’t it?”

Celeste didn’t know what to say. She slowly chewed her meal, confused by Mikan’s tone of voice. She only raised an eyebrow.

“I know you well. I know people like you too well. You want to control people, you want power.”

It would be impolite to speak with food in her mouth.

“You just want to feel superior to people who don’t know any better. Kaede’s the only one that doesn’t see it, that’s why you picked her. She doesn’t know, but I do.” Mikan smiled and looked up at the ceiling, resting her head on her fist. “Hee hee… you know, no one except her wanted you to join the team. We all hate you. I tried to warn Kaede but she didn’t listen. No one ever does…”

Why was Mikan telling her this? Why now, the one time Celeste was trying to be nice?

“It doesn’t matter. I have you now.” Her dilated pupils fell to Celeste’s. “You want to know what I mean? I can see it on your face. You can’t hide from me. Hee. Hee. Hee. You’re mine. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together. Heeheeheehee.” In an instant, her chin was resting on her arms on top of the table. “Can I tell you something really fun about medicine? Seeing how it affects the patient as time goes on. Take Nagito, for example: if I hadn’t treated him, the worms inside him would suck up all of his nutrients. Weight loss, diarrhea, nausea… if he hadn’t come to me, he might’ve wasted away. Maybe he would’ve died.”

Her eyes were completely soulless. She was enjoying wherever her imagination was conjuring up. Celeste knew Mikan was weird, but something felt extremely off about her. She wasn’t acting like her usual meek self.

Celeste couldn’t help but imagine it; a bundle of parasites clogging her intestines, consuming everything she ate. It didn’t matter how much she ate, it wouldn’t go anywhere. Surely, she’d starve to death. That might be the worst way to die. There would be no way to stop it; you probably wouldn’t see them on your food. Celeste would eat anything. She wouldn’t examine every little thing she ate. Every meal was a blessing, a miracle that she was able to get herself out of poverty and away from a mother that wouldn’t feed her the little they had.

Mikan looked at her hands. “Feeling someone else’s warm waste in my hands… I can’t compare it to anything. The smell, the texture, the color…There’s so much you can tell about a person by their poop.” She mimed a squeezing motion. “Especially if there are worms in it! Hee hee hee!” Her grin reached her ears. “Did you know…? A common way to get worms is for someone preparing your food,” she leaned in so close that Celeste could feel her breath, “to not wash their hands?”

Oh god.

_Oh god._

Celeste froze, the gooey, unswallowed mass of gyoza still in her mouth.

Her word fear had come to life. _Poisoned._ Celeste’s food had been poisoned.

She made the smallest movement with her tongue and instantly— she didn’t know if it was the truth or placebo— she could feel the segments of worms wriggling inside her mouth. Her jaw quivered in fear and disgust, leaving her lips slightly parted. A heavily trained part of her brain told her to not leave her mouth open so— _oh god!_

She swallowed. Her instinct was to swallow, but she didn’t get everything. There was a small bit stuck between two of her upper molars. Was it pork? A piece of cabbage?

Or worse: larva?

Larva that could only be removed with floss that she didn’t have or with the finesse of her tongue to use pressure to vacuum it out, sending it flying to the back of her throat.

As soon as her tongue made contact with it, she felt it move. It _moved_. She wanted to keep her tongue as far away from it as possible, forcing her to slowly open her mouth in dread. Celeste gasped shallow breaths as she lifted her shaking hands.

“Hee… hee… hee…” Mikan laughed. “Hee hee huhuhuhuhahahaha! Karma sucks, doesn’t it?”

How many? How many tapeworms had she eaten? Celeste’s eyes went down to her plate. Out of the six gyoza Mikan had made her, Celeste had already eaten five of them. She didn’t even remember eating some of them. Why would she think that hard about eating her favorite food? All of her fond memories with her and her father going to gyoza stands were tainted now.

“Wh-Wh-Why…? Why? Why?!” Celeste stuttered. “What did I do?!”

“Huh? Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh? What did you do?” Mikan tilted her head and whispered, “You’re a bully. All you do is use people for personal gain. You don’t care about anyone’s feelings.”

“But I… I am wearing Shuichi’s hat!” That should’ve made it clear. It should’ve been obvious how much guilt she felt by her willingness to wear it. “And I made you a gift of peace!”

“So? It’s too late. You tricked Kaede and called her a bad person. You thought you wouldn’t get any consequences, did you? Now look at you! Heeheeheehee!”

“Did you not hear what I told her last night?! Did you not hear how often she overstepped boundaries?! She called you weak, for god’s sake!”

Mikan shrugged. “I don’t care…! I don’t care. Kaede’s my friend. I’ll do anything to protect my friends.” She was insane. There was no way to reason with her. “But I did hear what you said about yourself being a bad person. You are. You don’t think my parents bullied me because you want to justify your actions, hm?”

“N-No, I was trying to—” Celeste felt her stomach churn and covered her mouth.

Mikan widened her eyes again. “Are you going to vomit? Maybe you’d be more comfortable in the nurses’ office. I’ll take _good_ care of you.”

“What are you going to do to me?”

“We’re gonna have a lot of fun together. No matter what, we’re still a team, so I’ll do everything I can to make sure my teammate gets back in shape!” Mikan was practically shaking with excitement. “If you start losing so much weight that you won’t have enough energy to move, I’ll feed you. You can rely on me! You’ll have to. I’ll check it so no more worms get in your system,” she mocked. “If your stomach hurts, I can open you up and pull them out myself. But only if they’re long enough. If not, I’ll have to close you up, wait for them to get bigger, and open you up again! Hee hee hee! Won’t that be fun?!”

Think, Celeste! She had to hold back the tears in her eyes and think!

The only thing she knew how to do was flip off her emotional switch and threaten Mikan, but what was that going to do? It wasn’t going to get the worms out. At the same time—

One day. Kaede only wanted Celeste to be nice for one day.

Celeste didn’t have the right to pick which days she got to be nice. She had already chosen this one. Even when confronting the evilest person she’d ever met, to repent, she had chosen to be nice for the day.

Was Mikan evil? Was it evil for someone wronged to get revenge? Celeste was a bad person who deserved punishment; this wasn’t a newfound revelation. She had always wanted someone to accept her as bad, so what was the problem? She chased after Kyoko for this very reason, Mikan and Kaede were the only ones brave enough, or even crazy enough, to actually do something about it. Instead of lashing back at the audacity of attacking someone as high-rank as her, Celeste had made the choice to be nice for the day, thus thinking with her heart instead of her head.

Why had Mikan done this? Because she was insane, yes, but more importantly, because she wanted to protect her friend. To go to this degree could only mean she took Celeste’s trick personally. Mikan had likely been tricked in the past— her parents seemed the most likely suspects given the small story she told— and wanted to make it right, not for Kaede, but for herself. She was the one that wanted protection.

Celeste could relate. When her father threw away her trust in him by giving her money to her mother, Celeste wished there was someone who could’ve done something about it. Someone to protect her from the emotional damage that caused.

Was there a way to give that to her?

For once, Celeste didn’t see the situation as something where she needed to come out on top. She only wanted to offer help to a troubled teammate. All she had to do was remember why she came to Mikan in the first place.

With a clenched fist, Celeste let out, “Mikan… when you say that looking at me is like looking into a mirror, I know what it is you mean."

“There must be something I can do instead of suffering in this way.”

“Hee hee. I can think of something: don’t come back to training. Everything was perfect before you came.”

“I cannot do that. I made a promise. I do not go back on my word.”

“Too bad.”

“Then allow me to offer you Gonta.”

Mikan’s face filled with rage. “Wh-What?! What did you do to him?!”

“Nothing!” Celeste reassured. “I have eyes and I can see how you look at him.”

Mikan squeezed her lips together, her face turning red. She fidgeted with her fingers.

Clutching her collar as stressed sweat pooled, Celeste said, “I understand what it feels like to have no one care for you, to have your own family, who is supposed to love you unconditionally, not give a damn about your existence. If there is anyone who can love unconditionally, it is Gonta. We both know that you do not have the courage to say anything to him, but I can. I have no feelings for him whatsoever and he is close to me. I will bring the two of you together.” She let out a small laugh. “I am quite romantic.”

“You’re bribing me? You want me to cure you if you get me with him?”

“No. As a teammate, I am doing you a favor. Whether you choose to heal me is your choice.”

Mikan clenched her entire body. “Y-You’re lying! You’d never do something like that!”

How was she supposed to convince her?

...Fuck. Fuck it!

Celeste slammed her fist onto the table. “Mikan, listen to me. You are the only one who could ever understand. You know what it is like to have your soul constantly sucked out of you so much that it makes you go insane. To poison me is crazy, but how _dare_ you think you can out-crazy me! _Me? Celestia Ludenberg?!_ Ha!”

“Celeste…?”

Celeste picked up the last gyoza. “For you to think that you can out-crazy me is blasphemous. We are teammates, so we are equals! I am trying my best, Mikan! I wish for you to trust me, but I…” She held the gyoza between them, showing it off. “I must first put my faith in you!” Celeste shoved the last infested gyoza into her mouth and with as few chews as she needed to keep her from choking, she swallowed it.

As Celeste breathed shallow breaths, Mikan stared at her with her mouth agape in shock. Celeste stared back, waiting for a response.

Luckily, her theatrics didn’t go in vain.

“Hee hee… hee hee hee…” Mikan let out staggered chuckles, confused but impressed.

“Haha… hahaha!” Celeste returned.

“Heehee _heeheeheeheehee!”_

“Hahahaha _hahahahahaha!”_

Celeste had no idea if there were actually tapeworms in her food. Surely, Kirumi or Teruteru would’ve noticed Mikan not washing her hands before preparing a dish, though she could’ve snuck in a syringe and injected the gyoza. Maybe only one of the gyoza was infected and Celeste could’ve taken the risk that the last was the bad one. It was too late now. Mikan also never explicitly said she contaminated her food; her words were vague and open to interpretation. Maybe she only wanted to scare Celeste. The strange ways Mikan was going to ‘treat’ Celeste was unnecessary; to her knowledge, only a regular pill was needed to treat parasites. Maybe Celeste’s fear created a placebo effect that made her body feel the worms inside her.

None of it mattered. She chose to trust Mikan either way.

The two of them continued laughing in mutual respect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary:
> 
> Taking place in the same general time frame as the last chapter, we are in Celeste's perspective. During breakfast, she and the rest of the training team wait for Kaede to show up, but she doesn't. Celeste starts to feel guilty that she hurt Kaede, so much that she doesn't eat breakfast. Maki and Celeste get into a verbal argument, but it is interrupted when Maki gets a message on her pager and leaves for the day for 'work.'
> 
> Afterward, Celeste speaks with Kaito and he reminds her that she isn't a good or a bad person. Celeste decides she wants to fix the drama by wearing Shuichi's hat and be nicer to the team for one day. She hones in specifically on Mikan, asking to eat lunch with her. Mikan has made her gyoza while Celeste offered her a cross she made as a symbol of peace. While eating, Celeste tries her best to open up to her about her parents, since that is something they can relate to.
> 
> ***  
> However, Mikan doesn't care. It's heavily implied that Mikan contaminated Celeste's gyoza with tapeworms as revenge for the maltreatment Celeste has given everyone throughout the story. Refusing to give in and truly wanting to get better, Celeste says she is going to help Mikan and Gonta get together to prove that she's trying to be a better teammate. She is going to put her trust into Mikan that as her teammate, Mikan will cure her of the worms and willfully eats the last gyoza. They laugh together, bonding over this chaotic experience.  
> ***
> 
> Tonally, does this chapter change the story? Probably. But it's Halloween and I'm allowed to have Halloween fun.


	22. Trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late upload! My brain could barely work through this chapter and the US elections is/was today. Yesterday. The whole last week. Stress.

Alright. Enough of this. No more sadness. Kaede was sick of it. Nothing was going to change if she sat around crying forever. She had to be optimistic! Push all that negativity away and smile through the day! Woo! That rhymed! Positivity was all in the mindset and your outlook on life. When life gets hard, work hard! Never give up!

Positive things that happened today!

Number one! She got to pet a cat!

Number two!

…

Uh. Shoot.

Aw, c’mon, there had to be more than that. Maybe something small?

Number two! She got out of bed! Yeah, that’s pretty good! Everything counts!

Number three! Her and Shuichi talked and while he did recognize that Kaede isn’t evil, he did mention that she had hurt him in ways she didn’t realize before and— uuuuuuugh. The depression was coming back.

Okay. Scratch that one. If there was nothing else then she was just going to have to make good things happen herself.

Kaede walked back to her dorm and took a long, hot shower. Clean! She brushed her teeth. Clean times two! She put on clean clothes, including her favorite sweater vest. Fun! Three more positive things of the day!

But getting herself together wasn’t going to fix the problem. She hurt her friends. She needed to apologize.

Walking out of the dorms and into the school’s main building, practically bumped right into a familiar hat on a specific goth lolita body. Uh oh. This was probably the person she would need to do the most apologizing to since they had such a big fight and Celeste seemed to be the most hurt. Alright, Kaede. Apologize. Just like ripping off a bandage. A very old, sticky bandage—

Wait. What?

They both froze in place, staring at each other like deer in headlights. Well, Kaede was more looking at the hat on Celeste’s head.

Celeste was wearing Shuichi’s hat. Celeste was _actually_ wearing Shuichi’s hat.

...Was she?

Everything Kaede wanted to say faded away as anxiety took over. What if she apologized wrong? What if they got into another fight? What if Celeste never wanted to see her again? By the look on Celeste’s face, it seemed like she had a lot she wanted to say too but chose not to. Kaede had to be the one to take initiative. First, she had to check something.

“Are you… really Celeste?”

“You suspect that I am the Ultimate Imposter?” She sighed. “Considering that they are a measly human and I am beyond that, I suppose there truly is only one way to know.” She wore her typical welcoming, yet smug grin. “Please bare your neck.”

Yeah, that was her. “That’s not funny. I’m being serious.”

“Oh.” Celeste pursed her lips. “Well, yes, it is I.” She held the brim of the hat. “You see I am wearing Shuichi’s hat, yes?”

“Um… yeah?” Why? Celeste had done so much to keep herself from wearing the hat, so why was she doing it now?

Celeste shifted her eyes, saying nothing.

Kaede asked, “Is this your way of apologizing?”

“Apologize for what? It seems I caught a dizzy spell and lost a few memories. The last thing I remember is you handing me Shuichi’s hat. It seems an entire day passed without me knowing. Strange how the mind works.”

“So you’re just gonna pretend as if nothing happened?”

“I am glad we are on the same page. Hmhm.” She stepped forward, walking past Kaede, but Kaede held her forearm out to Celeste’s waist and pushed her back. Celeste groaned. “What?”

“Celeste, I want you to listen to me.”

She rolled her eyes.

Kaede crossed her arms. “I really wanted to say I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you and, like, you told me a lot of stuff and I got scared and I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for blackmailing you and telling people a secret you wanted me to keep. Even if it was an accident, it still hurt you and I never wanted that.” As she went on with her apology, Celeste went from an avoidant attitude to genuinely listening to what Kaede was saying. Hopefully, she would accept and they could go back to being friends. And if they were going to go back to being friends, she would have to give up some of her pride. “Everyone said I force people to do things they don’t want to do and they’re right. I forced you to join our training group because I wanted to make you better. That’s not fair and I’m sorry. If you… you…” She let out a deep breath. “If you hate training as much as you say you do, you don’t have to come back.”

Celeste furrowed her eyebrows and bit her cheek. “I cannot do that.”

“Huh? Why not?”

“Because we made a bet. If I wish to leave, I must beat Maki at fifty push-ups. I do not go back on bets.”

“But I’m telling you the bet’s off.”

“And I am telling you it is not.”

This wasn’t making any sense. “Do you _want_ to stay at training?”

“The bet is not off. That is all I am saying.” There was more there. There was so much more, but Kaede didn’t want to push it. Being pushy was one of her biggest problems.

“Okay… but just know that I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. I know I can be forceful— at least I know that now. So if… if I do anything that hurts you, please tell me right away. Sometimes, I won’t know if I’m doing something bad. Please, please, _please,_ let me know so I can change. I don’t want you to have to bottle it up.”

“You believe you are entirely at fault here?”

Kaede nodded. “I am. I’m so sorry.”

Celeste squeezed the brim of the cap, conflicted with whatever was going on in her mind. “You had shared something personal with the imposter that you intended for me. Are you okay with telling me now?”

Kaede stepped back. “W-Well, um— no, I don’t… it’s not important anyway!”

Celeste lifted her head up to get a better look at Kaede from under the hat. “Lies. It was important.”

“Well, I—” Kaede held herself. “I can’t tell you.”

“I see. After I had someone impersonate me, I completely destroyed our trust.” She huffed. “Ridiculous.” Celeste quickly turned her head to Kaede. “I-I did not mean ridiculous that you were offended, I meant it is ridiculous that… I…” She gave up on what she was trying to say. “I do not know.” It looked like for the first time, Celeste was the one who was struggling with her words.

“You have a hard time being nice, don’t you?”

“No, being kind is easy. Tedious, but easy. I am having difficulties because you… you are—” She held out a cautioned hand. “You are okay, yes? Your reaction was unexpected I— ugh.” She hid her eyes behind the brim of the cap. “I simply wish to know that you are okay.”

Kaede clutched the sleeves of her shirt. Was she okay? She was depressed and heartbroken for a few hours, something she’d never experienced, but she was up and moving now. Thinking back to the day before was painful; it wasn’t like everything went away. Her feelings for Celeste still lingered along with the guilt that she still had those feelings for her after all that. She wanted the attraction to go away so they could keep being friends, but even friendship with Celeste was harder than she thought.

She wanted to believe that this flustered version of Celeste was genuine, that Celeste was trying to apologize, that Celeste didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. Then again, if she did, she wouldn’t have used a body double in the first place. She would’ve considered Kaede’s feelings.

“I am wearing Shuichi’s hat. You should be feeling better,” Celeste said more to herself than to Kaede, like she was realizing a problem rather than demanding Kaede to control her emotions.

“You think I can just forgive and forget immediately?”

“Yes.”

Kaede looked at her, deadpan. “Celeste.”

“I will have you know that I am currently playing matchmaker with two of our associates. Normally, I would not care for such buffoonery, but on this day— the day I wear Shuichi’s hat, a gesture that _you_ have associated with kindness— I assist another team member. Does that change how you feel?”

Did it change her opinion of Celeste? Maybe. Did it change how she felt? “Not really.”

“Oh.” Celeste straightened her back. “That does not change my motives. I suppose my intention is not one-hundred percent to win you back anyway.”

“Matchmaker, huh? Who are you getting together?”

“Mikan and Gonta.”

Kaede widened her eyes. “Mikan and Gonta?! Do they like each other?”

Celeste nodded. “It is quite obvious.”

“Aw, man… I guess I don’t know my friends as well as I thought I did.”

“Do not worry about it, dear.” Celeste patted Kaede’s cheek. “It does not mean you do not care.” There was a sudden spark in her eyes and she pulled up her other hand to cup Kaede’s face. “How about you help me? I could do this on my own, but I am being nice today. I would also… value your company.”

“Sure! Maybe it’ll be retribution for calling her weak.”

“Excellent! In fact, I could use your services. You must know of a romantic ballad to play, yes?”

“Yeah, I know how to play a couple.”

“Wonderful! Then you would not mind using your lab for this occasion? Good music is necessary.”

Kaede was having a hard time speaking coherently with how much Celeste was squeezing her cheeks. “No probem! Any esscuse to pay piano is fine wis me!”

Celeste let go. “Then let us go off to the garden. I have a plan.”

When they reached the humid garden on the top floor of the school, Celeste gestured to the variety of flowers among them. “There is hardly anything more romantic, yet simple, than giving a girl a flower. Now, the difficult part is figuring out which flower is best. Tell me, dear, what flower do you think is the most romantic?”

“Um… Roses are a typical romance flower, so I guess I would give someone roses.”

“Oh?” Celeste held her hand to her mouth. “You are one for giving flowers rather than receiving them?”

Kaede scratched her neck. “I-I guess girls don’t usually do that, haha. So, I guess I’d be the one to receive them.”

“No, no,” she corrected, “let your romantic gestures be natural.”

“Oh… well, y-yeah, yeah, I’d give someone flowers, but the kind of flowers I’d give them depends on the person. You know, like, everyone’s different. Uh…” Kaede kicked her foot back and forth and looked at the ground. “You know, like… would _you_ even like flowers? I don’t know, just an example.” She could hear her own heart pounding in her eardrums.

“Me? Oh, I am a traditional girl. I am perfectly fine with roses. But—” She bashfully flicked her wrist up and down. “If a suitor feels another species is more suitable, then I would not mind. Hehe. What—” She cleared her throat and looked away from Kaede. “What flower do _you_ think is most suitable for me? I am only curious.”

It was an easy question. “An orchid.”

“Ohoho! That was quick. What is your reasoning?”

“Orchids are really weird.” Kaede realized what she said. “Uh— I mean, not weird! You aren’t weird! You don’t want me to call you that, right? Sorry!”

Celeste held her hand up. “Do not fret. I take no offense to being called weird. It is edgy that I do not like.”

Kaede breathed out in relief. “Oh, good. I know there’s a lot of different kinds of orchids, but I think a lot of them are weird. I can imagine you having an orchid garden and they all look weird and different.”

“Hm. I suppose a garden must start from somewhere.” Celeste gave a warm smile. “But in this instance, I do not matter. What flower do you feel is appropriate for Mikan?”

That one was a harder question. She couldn’t imagine herself giving flowers to Mikan. “A tangerine?”

“...A tangerine?”

“Yeah, like her name. Mikan.” Celeste didn’t respond, so she must not have understood. “The citrus fruit.”

“A fruit, yes. A flower, no.”

“Well, I don’t know!”

Celeste shook her head, disappointed. “Roses will suffice.”

They walked through the garden until they came across some red roses. With small shears they found in the shed, Kaede sniped it from its roots.

“Careful of the thorns, dear,” Celeste cautioned. Dammit, did she _have_ to call her ‘dear?’ She didn’t necessarily want Celeste to stop since it was an indicator of how close in their friendship they were. Kaede was important to her, even after hurting her. Cutting off the thorns, Kaede gazed into the petals, wondering what it would be like to give Celeste that rose. Would she accept the gift as if it were nothing? Would she be humble and polite? Would her eyes brighten with delight?

Kaede would never know. Celeste was off-limits.

It was only then that she realized Celeste had moved a few feet away, staring at one of the sections of the garden that was covered in white lilies. Kaede hopped up and walked to her. “What’s up?”

“These flowers are lovely, are they not?” She frowned as she bent down to get face-to-face with the flowers.

“Yeah…?”

“They are well taken care of. No weeds. Spaced out well. Clean.”

“And?”

Celeste said softly, “These are Maki’s.”

“Oh,” Kaede blinked. “I think I heard about her gardening in her free time.”

“Hm. Over a month ago, there were yellow chrysanthemums here.”

Kaede didn’t know why Celeste was telling her this.

She continued, “Flowers have many meanings but the white lily is often used to decorate funerals.” With a somber look on her face, she put her hands behind her back and turned to Kaede. “Are you aware that Maki will not be joining us tonight at training? She has work.”

“Aw. That sucks.”

“Indeed…”

Celeste never said why she felt the need to mention this, indeed, she snapped her attention back into place. She was entirely dedicated to this cause; it was surprising to see Celeste put effort into anything. Kaede couldn’t help but notice the deep thought that flashed through her eyes as she organized within her mind exactly what she wanted to do.

Especially, when she had Mikan sitting in a chair in her room, examining Mikan’s hair like an artist to an easel. One hand rubbed her own chin while the other held scissors. “Hm… I will be sure not to cut it too short, in case you wish to change it later.”

Mikan nodded vigorously. “Th-Thank you…! People only cut my hair to make fun of me but no one’s ever cut it to make it better.”

Kaede, after asking if she could, sat on the end of Celeste’s bed, fists on her cheeks. She didn’t have the words to describe her disgust that so many other people bullied Mikan without consequence, so the best she could verbalize was, “That’s so sad.”

“I’m a little nervous…” Mikan said. “If you want to mess it up, that’s okay!”

Celeste gently ran her fingers through Mikan’s hair, looking at it through the mirror. “There is no need to be nervous. I cut my own hair regularly and, as you can see, I do it _perfectly_ every time.”

She carefully started cutting Mikan’s hair, making it as even as she could. She got in close, her eyes squinting as she forged each piece with patience and elegance.

“You’re really good at this,” Kaede said, desiring Celeste’s dainty fingers running through her own hair.

“But of course.”

“I tried cutting my own hair once and it didn’t turn out well. It’s grown out, though.”

“Cutting one’s hair is often a path of self-discovery for young girls.”

“Yeah.” Kaede recalled how much she regretted it when she heard that girls with short hair were often considered lesbians. How did she not realize her sexuality until recently?! “But people make a lot of… assumptions about girls with short hair.”

“Foolish. To my knowledge, no one has ever said such a thing about me and I have had short hair for most of my life, aside from extensions and wigs. I suppose there are other aspects of me that are more distracting.”

“You’re a distracting person.”

“Am I?” Celeste took it as a compliment but shifted her eyes. “You find me distracting?” She paused to look at Kaede.

“Well, um…” Kaede tensed up. “I get distracted easily.”

“Yes, but calling me a ‘distracting person’ means I am taking your focus away and bringing it to me.”

Kaede looked away. She wanted to give a normal compliment that she would give anyone, but it came out quiet and shakey. “If you wear cool clothes and pretty make-up, of course I’m gonna get distracted.”

When Celeste didn’t respond, she turned back, only to catch a glimpse of Celeste tearing her eyes away from her to look back down at Mikan. “Look at me,” she faintly laughed at herself, “you have managed to… distract me as well.” She went back to fixing Mikan’s hair.

Mikan’s eyes jumped back and forth between the two of them. “Huh…?” Suddenly, she stopped, raising her eyebrows. “Oh! Oh, I get it now!”

“What do you mean?” Celeste asked.

“I… I hope everything works out between all of us!”

“All of us?”

“Hee hee!”

Celeste and Kaede chose to ignore it.

When Celeste finished Mikan’s hair, she sighed, releasing tension. Mikan’s hair wasn’t that much shorter than it was, only by an inch or two, and her uneven bangs were now swooped to the side similarly to Kaede’s.

Mikan, as expected at this point, immediately started crying when she looked in the mirror. “Thank you! Thank you so much!”

“It is the least I can do,” Celeste shrugged. “Do not let _anyone_ mess up my work. If they do, I will have to take it as an attack against me. You do not want that, yes?”

“No! I won’t let anyone else touch it!”

“Good. Now, give us a few more moments. We are almost finished with our preparations.”

“Okay!” Mikan exited Celeste’s room, not before turning back and smiling at the both of them.

As Kaede swept the remaining hair on the floor, she said, “That was really sweet of you, Celeste.”

“It is only on a day like today that I would do such a thing. Her hair bothered me, anyway.” Her eyes fell to the clumps of hair Kaede picked up. “Be sure to save that. Many rituals and spells require a few strands of human hair.”

Kaede froze in place. “Are you serious?”

Celeste giggled. “No, I am ‘joking.’” She put up finger quotes.

Kaede shook her head and threw away the trash. “All that’s left is to decorate the lab, right? Let’s get going.”

Just as she put her hand on the doorknob, Celeste interrupted her. “Wait.”

As she turned around, varying thoughts flew through her mind. Was Celeste going to inquire her more on the meaning of short hair? Did she pick up that Kaede liked her? Or maybe Kaede had done something unintentionally rude and Celeste was telling her now that Mikan was out of the room?

Celeste curled her finger, gesturing for Kaede to come closer.

She did as she was told.

Slowly, Celeste slid her hand onto Kaede’s shoulder.

Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh god oh god oh god.

It wasn’t until Celeste flicked her finger through the hole in Kaede’s sweater vest did she know what she was hinting at.

“Oh,” Kaede realized, “it’s not a big deal. I don’t really care anymore.”

“You went over a month with a hole in your clothes?”

“No! I don’t wear this all the time!”

“But you did not get it fixed.”

“It’s your fault, anyway!” She probably shouldn’t have said that. “I mean—” No, she was right!

Celeste rolled her eyes and pulled out a small sewing kit from her dresser. “Normally, I would not do this, but today is not a normal day.” She effortlessly weaved the thread through the eye of the needle and began sewing the hole in Kaede’s vest shut.

“H-Hey! I could’ve taken my vest off first! Don’t stab me!”

“You will not get poked if you do not move. Stay still, dear.”

She threaded the needle through the vest quickly, yet carefully, showing how skilled she was with a needle. It was times like this that made it difficult for Kaede to believe that this was the same person who got someone to pretend to be her, all because she didn’t want to wear a hat. Was this the real Celestia Ludenberg? One that felt guilt for messing up a piece of clothing? Or was this just an act for the day?

When she finished with a tight knot, Celeste backed away saying, “There. Done. Now my mind can rest easily.”

After leaving Celeste’s room to rearrange and decorate the Ultimate Pianist’s lab with candles, flowers in vases, and petals scattering the floor, Celeste prepared Gonta. She slicked back his hair and told him exactly what she wanted him to say to Mikan. When they finished, Celeste clapped her hands together. “Kaede, you know what you are playing?”

“Yup! I’m gonna play one of Chopin’s _Ballades_!”

“Excellent choice, dear. I knew I could count on you. Both of you stay here, I will retrieve Mikan.”

When Celeste left, Kaede got her sheet music and placed it on the piano. As she stretched her fingers, she looked at Gonta, who awkwardly stood in the center of the room. “You ready, Gonta?” she asked him.

“Gonta very nervous…” With his shoulders drooping, he looked down at the rose in his hand.

“Aw, don’t be! Just remember what Celeste told you to say.”

“Um…”

Uh oh. “Did you forget?!”

He held his face. “Gonta sorry! Gonta distracted by strange hat on Lady Celeste’s head!”

Kaede shook her hands in front of her. “Uh, don’t worry about it! Just speak from the heart.”

“Okay…”

When Celeste arrived with Mikan, Kaede immediately started playing as softly as she could so the music wasn’t too overbearing. When Mikan and Gonta saw each other, they both froze in place. Celeste gave Mikan a slight push on her back to urge her to walk towards him before taking a seat next to Kaede. Celeste stared at them like a director watching over a play’s opening night.

As Mikan inched closer, she stuttered, “Hi, G-Gonta.” She gazed up at his towering presence; he was almost a foot taller than her, so she really had to pull her head back.

“Um… good afternoon, Lady Mikan!” He bowed, but due to his nerves, he went too far and slammed his forehead into her scalp.

Celeste put her face in her hands in disappointment. “Oh my goodness…”

“Sorry!” Gonta apologized.

“Nonono, _I’m_ sorry! I shouldn’t have stood so close— ggggggggh.”

Gonta looked at the rose and held it out. “Uh, uh… Gonta have pretty flower for Lady Mikan.”

“F-For me?!” She took a hold of the rose. “Hee hee! No one’s ever given me a flower before!”

“What?! All ladies need pretty flowers! Like bees! Gonta bring flowers to bees _and_ Lady Mikan! Lady Mikan…” There was a sudden, fiery intensity in his eyes, “like bees?!”

Mikan didn’t have an ounce of fear. “I love bees! And _waaaasps_ …” She rubbed specific parts of her arms, possibly remembering times she’s gotten stung before. “Doctors based hypodermic needles off of bee and wasp stingers, so I love them!”

“That good!” Gonta smiled, gentleness returning to him. “Many people hate bees, but Gonta glad Lady Mikan like them. Some bees very pretty— like orchid bee!” His face grew red. “Gonta… think Lady Mikan pretty like orchid bee.”

Celeste clenched her fist. “Darn,” she whispered. “Perhaps we should have gotten an orchid instead.”

“No, I think it’s fine,” Kaede replied. “This is really sweet, actually.”

She scoffed. “It would’ve been better if he listened to me…”

Kaede leaned to the side so Celeste could hear her properly. “Love can’t come from someone else’s words; you’ve gotta be vulnerable and let it come from within.”

Celeste turned to look at her and, with their faces much closer than normal, they stayed there for a moment, gazing into each other’s eyes. For a brief period, Mikan and Gonta faded into the background and it was only her and Celeste. Kaede continued playing Chopin’s _Ballade No. 1_ but if no one else were in the room, Kaede would’ve played the piece just for Celeste. Maybe in another universe, Celeste would be open to learning how to play the violin and they’d play duets together. Maybe in another universe, Celeste acted like she did while wearing Shuichi’s hat all the time, without the need to play hurtful tricks. Maybe in another universe, Kaede was a boy who could comfortably confess her feelings without judgment.

She hoped those other Kaede’s were happy.

As the two of them looked away from each other at the same time, Mikan, forgetting that Kaede and Celeste were even there, gasped. “Y-You think so?!” Tears rushed out of her eyes. “I-I don’t know what to say! Everyone’s always so mean to me, but you’re the only gentleman I’ve ever met.”

“Lady Mikan think Gonta real gentleman?!”

“Of course!” Both of their faces lit up at each other’s affirmations. “Gonta, I...” She shook until she blurted out, “I really like you! Ever since you said you wouldn’t let me get squished like a bug!” Whoa, did Kaede and Mikan really start falling for someone on the same day? It really was that day— the day Celeste held the goliath beetle without fear— that Kaede first developed feelings for her.

“Really?! Gonta like Lady Mikan, too! Because Lady Mikan so small, Gonta must protect Lady Mikan from harm.” He held out his hands as if he were holding something fragile. “So small, like little butterfly.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Gonta never hurt little butterfly.”

“Gonta…!” Mikan leaped into his arms and smashed her lips against his. Kaede looked back and forth between them and Celeste, unsure if she was supposed to keep playing and watch them or not.

“ _Okay,_ um—” Celeste whispered, clearly uncomfortable with their sloppy, wet kiss. “Let us give them some privacy.” She stood up and gestured for Kaede to follow her. Kaede lifted her hands from the piano and the two of them left the lab.

Celeste let out a breath she had been holding. “Finally. Hopefully, things between Mikan and I will be fine now.”

“Were things bad between you two before?”

Celeste grumbled. “Unbeknownst to me. They need to hurry up and finish so Mikan can rid me of the creature that grows in my belly.”

“Uh. What are you talking about?”

She put her hand over her mouth. “I did not tell you? I am pregnant with Gonta’s child.”

Kaede jaw dropped. “You’re _what?!”_ When? When could that have happened? Why Gonta?! Why would she do all of this for Mikan if— 

Celeste shook her head. “Oops. Wrong creature.” She held her hands to her chest. “I meant the creature commonly known as… guilt.”

“Uch! Celeste!” Kaede pushed Celeste’s shoulder.

“Am I no longer allowed to make jokes?”

“That wasn’t funny!” Kaede yelled with a smile on her face. It was such a stupid lie; why would she believe something like that?

“Hmhm. Then why are you laughing?”

Kaede crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air. “I’m not. I’m still mad at you.”

“Are you, now?” Celeste taunted.

“Mmhm.”

“Well. I suppose that is understandable. However, I have little anger against you, if that makes you feel any better.” What the hell? Kaede expected at least a little banter from her. Instead, she was being honest. “The anger remains still, of course, but it does not nag at me as much as it did last night.” Right. The hat. Today, Celeste chose to be nice.

Everything was so messed up now. She wanted Celeste to be nice like this all the time, but when she was like this, it took away a significant chunk of her personality. It was so confusing! What did she want from Celeste: for her to be nice or to be herself?

All she wanted was to keep her friendship with her. She wanted to trust her again and it was clear Celeste wanted the same. She _was_ trying. While Celeste never officially said ‘I’m sorry,’ she did admit to feeling guilty in a typical Dramatic Celeste kind of way.

“I’m sorry, Celeste.”

“I know.” She sighed. “With my mission complete and my only official servant,” Celeste looked at the door to the lab, “out on leave, I suppose I have nothing to do today. I still have the rest of the day to wear this ridiculous thing. I would prefer not to be seen by D-ranks and under, so may I ask what you are doing for the rest of the day?”

“Since I can’t really play piano until they’re done, I’m not doing anything.”

“Have you eaten?”

Right as she asked that, Kaede’s stomach growled. “No…”

“Hm. I am surprised you have not fainted yet.”

Kaede put her hands on her hips. “I won’t faint if I don’t lose a lot of blood!”

Celeste laughed. “You also would have better blood if you consumed the pills Mikan prescribed to you.” She turned towards the direction of the dining hall. “Come now. Let us get you something. Then, perhaps we can find something to do in the rec room.”

Kaede smiled. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

Could Kaede trust Celeste again and would Celeste forgive Kaede’s mistakes? The future wasn’t clear, but at least both of them were trying their best.


	23. Planting the Seed

Celeste blinked slowly and shook her head. Her eyes were getting heavy in possibly the third or fourth wave, so she took another swig of a sugary energy drink she had found cases of in the school’s warehouse. Gross. She’d need to brush her teeth after this was over.

Training was long over and she remained outside, trying not to think about how peaceful the night was. Hope’s Peak Academy was even more beautiful at night when nothing but the moon shined across the even grass and the cicadas sang their repeating melodies.

Feeling drowsy again, she slapped her cheeks. This was so stupid. She needed sleep. She needed to  _ shower. _ The sweat she tried to avoid at training had long dried onto her skin, forming a thin, invisible layer of grime. Why did she decide to do this? She could’ve left it be. Celeste could’ve ignored it. That bastard didn’t matter to her. She could’ve just left her alone.

But there was a horrible nagging feeling throughout the day that Celeste couldn’t shake. Maybe she would’ve forgotten about her if she hadn’t gone to the garden with Kaede. After seeing those flowers, that bastard lingered in the back of her mind even as she spent her afternoon with Kaede playing some of her favorite games. Even during dinner, where the only thing Celeste should be concerned about were the pills she had to take to get rid of the worms, the table— and ultimately, its atmosphere— snatched her focus with how empty it was without that bastard making some petty argument with her. Even at training, where she normally stayed quiet, Celeste couldn’t help but notice how hollow training was while she was missing. Everyone else was fine; going on with training as if nothing was wrong. But they didn’t know. They didn’t know the truth.

So why was Celeste walking circles around a bench, trying to stay awake, while keeping an eye on the front gate? She wanted to believe it was because she wanted some answers. Get all the whos, whats, wheres, whens, whys, and hows. But at the same time, there had been a lot of talk about Toko being Genocide Jack, and Celeste didn’t care. She’d gambled with people she suspected to be murderers before. They were strangers to her and had nothing to do with Celeste. Toko was just someone Celeste would occasionally see in class if both of them bothered to go to class at the same time. She didn’t really know Toko. She didn’t train with Toko, didn’t argue with Toko, didn’t hate Toko.

But Celeste knew Maki. She knew the people Maki was friends with who, one could argue, were Celeste’s friends too. She saw Maki every day and spoke with her every day. They ate together, forming a bond, even if it was one of hate. Celeste knew the things Maki cared about: gardening and her friends. She knew that even with Maki’s cold personality, she treated everyone with basic respect and human decency. She was passive and soft on the inside, too soft to be an assassin.

Celeste wanted to believe she stood outside because she wanted control over a potential threat. Genocide Jack killed boys and men. It was extremely unlikely for Celeste to find herself on their victim list. Assassins, to her knowledge, killed mostly high profile people. People caught up in criminal affairs. People like Celeste. All Celeste needed to do was win the wrong amount of money in a tournament against someone with the wrong kind of temperament and her name could end up on Maki’s pager. Blackmailing her was only to keep her from getting killed in that moment when she found out, but it wouldn’t stop someone from ordering a hit on her. The current best way to prevent that outcome was to make Maki excessively guilty for having to do it. To do that, she had to get closer to Maki and show her a side of Celeste not normally seen.

But that wasn’t the real reason why she was out there. It was the look on Maki’s face when she heard the pager go off. It was how that was the most emotion she had ever seen on Maki’s face and how quickly it all went away. Celeste had imagined assassins to enjoy their job, or at least know nothing morally better to do with their lives, and certainly, a talented assassin must at least want to be an assassin, but Maki was shocked by the pager. Her eyes displayed the pain of knowing someone’s life was going to be snuffed out. When her expression became hollow, it was a trained response; a response that was necessary, or else Maki would lose her sanity. That hollowness was something only those who knew the true horrors of humanity could experience. It was something no one as young as Maki should know. No one should ever know.

And Celeste had seen it before.

Her father used to be a chipper and fun-loving goofball when Celeste was really young, at least in front of Celeste. Their financial situation was never good and Celeste had caught him a few times burying his head in his hands from stress, but as soon as he saw her, he’d brighten up again. Looking back, she didn’t know if it was an act to keep her ignorant or if it was because Celeste made him happy. Even then, the arguments he had with her mother still existed, but he always held his ground. A strong ‘Whatever’ was enough to keep her mother from yelling anything else and he’d always say, ‘Not now. Not in front of Taeko.’ He cared. He always cared about her.

But after he came back from deployment, everything about him changed. His entire personality was washed away and he was nothing but a soulless body. He never smiled, never frowned, never got angry. It was just nothing all the time. When his mother picked a fight, he’d pathetically take it, as if he had lost all sense of self-worth. He did everything her mother told him to do without a second thought and if he did bother to argue, he didn’t care if Celeste saw or heard it. He didn’t care about her anymore. That’s why he gave her gift money to her mother; she had asked for it and he didn’t care about Celeste enough to run away. When she had given her the money, he gave her the same look that Maki had when she looked at her pager. Celeste had given him money that she had earned from gambling her ass off and he had no reaction. She was thirteen years old and he wasn’t even proud of the fact that she had been able to outsmart grown criminals. That damn soulless look pissed Celeste off.

And it pissed her off even more that someone else had that same look. She didn’t like seeing it, getting reminded of how much her father hated her.

Celeste wanted to blame the hat she still wore as the reason why she waited for Maki to return— if she was going to— but she wasn’t entirely sure that was the reason either. Would she be doing this if she had not declared she was going to be nice for a day? Maybe. Even if it was past midnight, typically, if someone were to refer to night before, they would include it with the day before, so right now, it was still the day were she needed to be nice. It was shotty reasoning, but it was still a reason.

She wasn’t supposed to have feelings like this. She wasn’t supposed to care, and yet there she was, chugging a fucking energy drink, awaiting the arrival of someone she hated that wasn’t even guaranteed.

But the front gates did eventually open and through it came Maki with a duffle bag draped over her shoulder. Immediately, Celeste’s longing for sleep was whisked away when she saw her in a grey hoodie and sweatpants, just like when she first interacted with her in the rec room a month prior. Did she always wear that after a mission? Did she feel the need to hide herself, despite the summer heat? How depressing.

“Maki!” Celeste called out, startling Maki as she walked over to her.

Maki squinted, “...What are you doing up this late? It’s two in the morning. Go to bed.”

“Welcoming as usual,” Celeste said sarcastically. “We have unfinished business to attend to.”

Either she wasn’t in the mood to argue, or she didn’t have the energy. Probably both. “...What are you  _ talking _ about? Whatever it is, it can wait ‘til morning. I’m tired.”

“I am afraid it cannot.”

“What are you— why? Just—” Maki closed her eyes and shook her head. “Leave me alone. Not now.” She gripped the strap on her shoulder. “Not now...”

“It has to be now.”

Celeste expected a ‘You’re such a bitch’ or at least a glare, but Maki only stared at the ground. No, it was more the space between her and the ground, her brain too fatigued to look at anything specific. “...What do you want, then?”

“You were not at training tonight.”

Maki rolled her head back in annoyance. “So you stayed up just to rub it in my face?”

In the gentlest smile she could give, Celeste informed, “You and I are meant to battle each other at fifty pushups at every training session, but since you were not there, we could not do what our bet promised.”

“Who cares?”

She put her hands to her chest. “How am I to break away from that idiotic group if you do not show up?”

“Just leave.”

“I cannot, Kaede would never let me,” Celeste lied. “I would prefer to avoid her wrath. I have seen enough of it to satisfy me and I would hate to know what she could accoplish motivated by spite.”

“Then tomorrow, lie and say you beat me. I don’t care.”

“That would be cheating. A cheater is worse than a loser.”

Maki faced Celeste head-on. “You’re being selfish. You didn’t consider that maybe I don’t want to do training right now? I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“It is only fifty push-ups. Surely, you can focus on that for a moment.”

“...You’re an ass.” There we go. Maki was back to normal, even if it was going to be for a minute. In Celeste’s mind, every minute, every second mattered. Maki stomped to the courtyard, with Celeste following close behind, and threw her duffle bag to the ground. She got into position. “Hurry up.”

Celeste looked at her hands. “Ah, but I went and got a manicure today. I do not wish to ruin it by placing my hands in the filthy grass.”

Maki slapped a hand into the ground. “Seriously? Ugh.” She removed her hideous sweatshirt and tossed it towards Celeste. She wore a tank top and Celeste didn’t see any new scars on her arms. She didn’t see any scars at all. Maki must be a good assassin.

“Thank you.” She got on the ground, placing her hands on the sweatshirt. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?”

“...Why would I not be sure?”

“I am only checking.”

“Shut up.”

“Three. Two. One—”

Maki started doing push-ups.

“Cheater!” Celeste yelled.

Maki stopped and sat up on her knees, confused. “What? How was I cheating?”

“I did not say ‘Go’ yet.”

“...Shut.  _ Up.” _ She got back in position. “I’m counting. Three—”

Celeste shook her head. “No, no, no. How do I know you will count correctly?”

“You think I can’t count?”

“I would not put it past you.”

“Be quiet. We’re starting. Ready?”

“Well, now my arms hurt—”

“I don’t care. Three. Two. One. Go.”

Maki started over her push-ups, this time with Celeste joining her. Maki certainly worked out more often than Celeste or the rest of the team did, who only worked out at training, but Celeste was getting winded a little later than when she first joined. There was never any doubt that Maki would beat her, but winning wasn’t Celeste’s goal. “Quit cheating!” she shouted, reaching over to knock Maki on the ground.

“I’m not cheating!” Maki was getting riled up.

“I saw your knees hit the ground.”

“No, they didn’t, I’m not cheating!”

“You did.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh,” Celeste mocked.

“Nuh- _ uh.” _

“Yuh- _ huh.” _

Maki gritted her teeth. “Whatever. We’ll start over.  _ Again.” _

“I will not be starting over. I was not cheating.”

“I didn’t— ugh. Whatever.”

As expected, even with the head start, Maki still beat Celeste at fifty push-ups.

“Done.” Maki hopped up and wiped her hands against her sweatpants. “I’m going to bed. Bye.”

Celeste wasn’t ready for her to leave. “Hold on! We are still at training and I have not finished. You are supposed to help me with the rest.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you—”

Maki clenched her fists. “Why are you being such a bitch about this? Leave. Me. Alone.”

“I cannot.” Celeste wobbled as she stood up. “You are my bodyguard; I cannot leave you alone and you cannot leave  _ me _ alone.”

“Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you?”

“You missed training—”

“I  _ know _ I missed training!” Maki screamed. Uh oh. “You think I wanted to?! You think I wanted to do any of this?!” Shit. This wasn’t where the conversation was supposed to go.

“We are a team, Maki.” Celeste tried to stay calm, but hearing the pain in Maki’s voice shook her. “We are all meant to train together, so I cannot allow you to miss a single day.”

“What was I supposed to do; tell them I’m busy?! A rich, spoiled brat like you doesn’t understand that everything has consequences. If I don’t—” Maki furrowed her eyebrows and looked at her feet.

It couldn’t be clearer to Celeste that being an assassin was no where near a choice for her. She was being manipulated by a power outside of her control. Celeste could speculate all of the negative consequences that could happen; she didn’t need the details.

Maki just wasn’t going to get it. “I do not care about what could happen,” Celeste articulated, “I will  _ not _ allow you to miss training.”

“You won’t let me sleep?”

“Not until that disgusting look on your face is gone.”

“...What?”

Celeste huffed. “May I ask you something? Why do you go to training every day when you are already fit?”

“...Because I like being with my friends.”

She shook her head. “Surely, there is another reason? Perhaps one more psychological?”

“I guess… training makes me think about things other than being an assassin.”

“Exactly. What good is a bodyguard if their mind is elsewhere? I need your focus to be on me one-hundred percent of the time. No, even more than that. I should appear in your dreams as well, not nightmares plagued with your gruesome past experiences.” Celeste rolled her eyes. “If you even sleep at night. By your normal look, I would bet that you do not.” She pushed a piece of hair that was stuck to her face with sweat off of herself. “That is why I cannot allow you to skip training. These are the nights that you need it the most.”

Maki’s eyes darted around, looking for a reason for Celeste’s confusing and uncharacteristic answer. “...You really waited for me? For that?”

“Oh, no, no, you are mistaken.” Celeste removed Shuichi’s hat and handed it to Maki. “It is your turn to wear this. I wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible, even if it took waiting for you.”

Maki examined the hat, biting her cheek. “Something’s… off about you.”

“Is it really so hard to believe that I would do all this to get rid of the hat? It is hideous.”

“No, but… it’s hard to believe. You waited for me. The Celeste I know wouldn’t do that. The fact that you’re even wearing the hat is weird to me. Why?”

“It does not matter why, but that I am.”

“Shut up and answer me.”

“How can I answer you if you tell me to shut up?”

“You know what I mean,” Maki said, displeased.

If Celeste wanted to make any progress, she would need to be a little more truthful. “I am wearing this because it is inconvenient for me to be on Kaede’s bad side.”

Maki scratched her cheek. “If this is about Kaede, why wait for me? She wouldn’t know.”

“You are not making this easy,” Celeste groaned. “Perhaps if you had a few more IQ points, I would not have to spell it out for you. But fine. If I must, then I must.” She took a deep breath. “I waited for you because training is important to you. I know you were upset you could not train with us, so I wanted to fix that. I figured even if we trained for a measly five minutes, it would be better than you dealing with whatever must be ruminating in your head alone in your room. That is all.”

“...Are you serious?”

“I am.”

“This isn’t a trick?”

“I have no ulterior motive. I only wished to help.”

Maki’s frowned, taking a moment to think as she ran her fingers through her hair. “That’s… nice of you.” She picked up her sweatshirt and duffle bag. “But it wouldn’t have helped.”

“You are not feeling any better than when you returned?”

“...I guess a little.” She turned her back to Celeste and quietly said, “...Maybe Kaede was right about you.”

Kaede had said Celeste was nicer than her exterior let on and that she was actually a good person on the inside. She didn’t want Maki of all people to think that, but she still had one last thing to take care of.

“Maki, wait.” Celeste reached into her pocket, pulled out a small plastic bag, and held it out for Maki to take.

Maki turned back around, took it, and looked at it’s contents. “...Seeds?”

“Yes, obviously. I hate looking at your garden. It is too depressing with those white lilies.” Celeste toyed with her hair.

Maki scowled, not out of hate, but out of an uncomfortable warmth she didn’t know how to express.

“In flower language, yellow chrysanthemums mean friendship.”

“I know. You told me.”

“Oh, you listened? I imagined your brain was too small to retain information. Either way, that is not why I am giving the seeds to you,” she lied, “They would simply look better in your garden.”

Maki shrugged. “Yeah. I guess they would.”

Celeste blinked. “No ‘thank you?’”

“No. You’re still annoying… but more like an annoying little sister than just regular annoying.”

“ _ Little  _ sister?!” She scoffed. “I am older than you!”

“You don’t act like it. You act like a baby,” Maki retaliated. “You’ve even got food on your shirt.”

“What?”

“Yeah, right there.” She pointed at the base of Celeste’s neck.

Instinctually concerned with her looks, Celeste looked down, only to have Maki pull her hand up and gently smack her on the nose.

Celeste stared at her in shock and disbelief. Maki’s face was blank until she let out a small snicker. “You actually fell for that? Idiot.”

Fuck that stupid bitch and her dumb dad humor!

Celeste would get angry at Maki for humiliating her if she hadn’t realized this was the first time she’d seen Maki smile. It was small, but likely the biggest one that someone with her kind of trauma could produce. It was enough. Celeste matched it and shrugged. Never in a million years did she expect to be smiling with Maki, but there they were.

The seeds were planted and Celeste had no doubt that the flower would grow to be beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. I would've made it longer and extended the emotional impact but procrastination got the better of me.


	24. Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Celeste chapter :B

Celeste sighed deeply, trying to dust away the shame that boiled up deep inside her. She was alone in her soundproof room; no one would be able to hear if she sounded bad. Her left hand held the neck of the violin she just purchased and her right hand gently gripped the bow. She pressed the violin to her neck as she watched the man in the YouTube video play one of the notes. Pausing the video, Celeste lifted the bow to the violin and hesitantly slid it on one of the strings.

It didn’t sound like what the man played.

“Fuck!” She dropped the violin on her table and plopped onto the end of her bed, covering her face with her hands.

Kaede would never be impressed.

She heard a knock on her door. Strange, it was almost nighttime and there shouldn’t be any reason for anyone to say anything to her at this hour.

Answering the door revealed Mikan in her gym attire. “U-Um… hello.”

“Good evening.”

“I was, um… wondering since we’re in the same building,” she tapped her fingers together, “if you wanted to walk with me to training?”

The nighttime bell had yet to ring and Celeste always made it a point to be fashionably late. However, she was already prepared for training and it wasn’t like she was going to ever touch that violin again. “Just this once, I suppose you may be graced with my presence.” She got her e-handbook and left with Mikan.

“What were you just doing?” Mikan asked.

“Nothing,” Celeste lied. “Listening to music.”

“Hehe, I was watching a movie. Have you ever heard of Audition? It’s one of my favorite movies. I’ve seen it dozens of times.”

“I have heard of the book and the film, but I have not consumed either. I am more of a fan of mythological and supernatural stories if you could not tell.”

“Like vampires!” Mikan confirmed as she held the main entrance door for Celeste. “I like vampire movies, too. I love that the focus is always on blood!”

“Yes, I have always admired vampire stories on the different subjects the blood symbolizes. Addiction, sexuality, survival…”

“Hehe! Everyone makes fun of me for liking horror movies so much, but you like them too. We should watch something together! I-If you want to.”

She never thought she would form a connection with Mikan, of all people. “I would love to.”

When they arrived at the courtyard, they saw Maki sitting at the table, reading something off of her phone. She wore Shuichi’s hat, unsurprising as she had been wearing it all day without complaint.

“Hi, Maki,” Mikan greeted.

“Hey.” Without looking up, Maki said, “Did you know the government clones celebrities so that they can control them?”

Oh, god. “...Excuse me?” Celeste dared to ask.

Maki waved her hand. “I wasn’t talking to you.” Rude as ever.

“U-Um, why would you think that?” Mikan stuttered.

“It’s true,” Maki nodded as if what she was saying wasn’t ridiculous. “They clone them so they can influence the rest of us to do whatever we want. Have you ever noticed how people will buy something only because a celebrity told them to?”

Mikan entwined her fingers in front of her chest, concerned. “Yes, but… you don’t need clones to do that. I think that’s just human nature to trust people you like, like if I told you a shampoo works really well, you’d probably get it too, right?” She suddenly gasped. “Unless you don’t actually like me! Gggggghhh!”

Celeste raised her hand and reassured, “That is not true.” She looked back at Maki to correct her, mostly to prove that she was smarter than Maki. “Cloning is much more complex than one would imagine. Living cells are incredibly difficult to safely replicate and in the event that it is done, one would end up having a cloned baby, much like Dolly, the sheep. To create a perfect copy of an adult, scientists would have to duplicate a person down to the structure of their atoms, which is impossible.”

“It’s not impossible,” Maki rebutted, “You don’t think they hide things from us? There’s plenty of secret organizations out there. Who knows what they’re doing?”

“You are getting this all from the internet, yes? Do not believe everything you see on there.”

“You’re only saying that because you don’t want to see the truth. Since we’re kind of famous, who knows? Maybe Hope’s Peak Academy is just a front to get the most talented people in the country together so they can ship us off to a cloning facility.” Maki fiddled with the edges of her phone, frightened and paranoid of the possibility.

Mikan informed, “Celeste is right. A lot of things on the internet are made up by people who want to spread an evil agenda.”

Maki’s eyes widened. “What…?”

“Yeah, it’s horrible! And usually antisemitic!”

Maki frowned and looked down at her phone. After shaking her head, she threw it onto the courtyard’s table. “I hate these stupid things. I’m done. I’m done with them. The internet doesn’t make sense and I hate it. I hate technology.”

Mikan and Celeste put down their phones and e-handbooks as well, the latter grimacing for Maki having more respect towards Mikan than her. “I told you the conspiracy theory was impossible,” Celeste bragged, “but you did not wish to listen to me.”

“Why would I listen to anything you say?”

“Because I was telling you the truth…?”

“And you wouldn’t lie just to make yourself sound like you’re smarter than me?”

What a bitch! Maki was sort of right, but she didn’t have to be such a bitch about it! Celeste had put in the effort to mend their relationship, but Maki was treating her the same as before! “Fine, then. Since you wish to be a pain,” she picked up two relatively long sticks from a nearby tree, “then fight me.”

“...What?”

“I am challenging you to a duel.” Celeste had deduced Maki was skilled with short knives and firearms as she had not seen anything close to a sword in the short time she was in her lab. Even if Celeste lost, she’d get to whack Maki around a little, that bastard. She tossed one of the sticks to Maki, who didn’t even bother to try to catch it, letting it bounce off of her torso.

Maki put her hands in her pockets. “That’s dumb.”

“How else are we going to settle our differences?”

“You can stop being pretentious and annoying.”

Celeste stomped her foot. “Uch— Why is it always on me? What did I ever do?”

“Be pretentious and annoying.”

“Ugh! I have had enough of this!” She pointed her stick at her. “Fight me, coward!”

Maki blinked and shrugged. “...Alright.” She picked the stick up off the ground, not even holding it like a sword.

“I, Celestia Ludenberg, enchanted with beauty, wisdom, and intellect,  _ cursed _ with everlasting life and an insatiable thirst—” Still pointing the stick at Maki, Celeste slowly walked circles around her. “—challenge  _ you,  _ Maki Harukawa, my rival and eternal  _ fiend _ of my being, to battle a final fight to settle growing pains between us. You may have beaten me before, but this time—”

She was cut off by Maki quickly shoving her stick into her solar plexus with one, quick motion, sending Celeste onto her back.

“OW!  _ Ow ow ow ow! _ Oooow,” she groaned in pain. “ _ Maki!” _

Maki’s face didn’t change from her usual blank look. “What?”

“You did not let me finish my monologue!” Celeste growled.

“Why would I let you do that?”

“All villains give a lengthy monologue!” Celeste fumbled up, holding her stomach, “Have you never heard of  _ theater?! _ ”

“You were taking too long. I took the opportunity.”

“You should not! Play along and let me finish!”

Maki rolled her eyes. “Okay. Go ahead.”

Celeste huffed and continued, “Youmayhavebeatenmebefore, but  _ this time _ …” She narrowed her eyes, pausing for dramatic effect. “This time… it is my win that will finally have you  _ respect _ and  _ honor _ me—”

Maki swung the stick in a backstroke and smacked Celeste right in the arm.

“Stop it! You said you would let me finish!”

“I lied.”

“You little bitch!” Celeste lunged forward, trying to strike her, but Maki grabbed the stick with ease, pushing it into Celeste’s solar plexus again. She fell onto her back  _ again. _

“Argh!” Celeste yelled, banging her fists into the ground. Looking up, she saw Mikan giggling into her hands and Maki had a slight smirk on her face. At least she was finding some amusement out of this. “Well,  _ fine. _ Since you two think it is  _ so _ funny, I will not be humiliating myself any longer.” Good thing it was just the three of them and no one else saw. “I will just lay here for the worms and maggots to feast upon my rotting corpse, for the gods to punish me for my hubris, for Gaia to take me back and unbirth—”

“Are you okay, Celeste?!” Kaede’s worried face blocked Celeste’s view of the stars. “I saw the whole thing, why are you two fighting?!”

Great.

As Kaede helped Celeste up by pulling on her arm, Maki said, “We weren’t fighting, Celeste is just being dramatic.”

“Incorrect,” Celeste wiped the grass off of her legs. “Maki  _ clearly _ does not know the meaning of drama.” She could still see the worry in Kaede’s eyes. It made sense since she didn’t know or understand her and Maki’s relationship. “It is nothing serious, do not worry.”

Shuichi and Kaito arrived right behind Kaede. Kaito laughed, “Looks like you guys already started training! But we’re not fighting! One hundred sit-ups!”

Celeste questioned why they did the same exercises all the time, but she knew it wasn’t about getting physically stronger. Training was just an excuse for all of them to be together. Everyone put their things on the table and got into position, with Kaede deciding she wanted to do sit-ups first.

As Celeste held Kaede’s legs down, Kaede made a face, looking like she had something she really wanted to say. “Hey, Celeste? Can I tell you something?”

“Yes, you may.”

Kaede tapped her fingers on her stomach, looking up at the stars. “I’ve been trying to ask people if they want to hear what I have to say before I start talking. Apparently, people don’t like it when you just start talking about what you want.”

Those people were idiots. “I like it when you do that. It is strange, yes, but it fills the empty air. I enjoy listening to you speak.”

“O-Oh! That’s reassuring. I, uh, like the sound of your voice, too. It’s really soft and I really, really like your accent, too. I-I mean just one really! Not two reallys!” She furiously shook her head. “This isn’t even what I wanted to say!”

“You are such a goof,” Celeste giggled, flattered. “Go on.”

“Um… do you ever have moments where you’re really shocked that there are other people in the world?”

“Can you elaborate?”

“Like,” she sat up, “I’m in my head one hundred percent of the time and you’re in your head one hundred percent of the time and realizing that you’re your own person that has your own experiences and thought processes and feelings is… weird, you know? When I cross paths with you, you weren’t completely frozen and started up when I saw you. You’re doing your own thing. Does that make any sense? I feel like I’m not making any sense.”

Celeste nodded. “I believe I know what you mean. You are realizing that you are not the only person that exists and other people’s lives matter just as much as yours. We do not live in a vacuum or a simulation; other people have entire lives that they live separate from us.”

“Yeah. I always feel that way with you. I mean, it’s not like I  _ don’t _ feel like that with other people but, like… I don’t know. You’re so cool, so I’m always wondering what you’re doing. And what you’re thinking about. Do you ever see a baby and wonder what they’re thinking about because they don’t know a language yet? Or animals? Do they think ‘hungry hungry I’m tired hungry hungry?’ Or do they just feel things without thinking? Sorry, I guess that’s kinda off-topic.” She bit her cheek. “But what are you thinking about right now?”

“I think you,” are adorable, “should stop procrastinating and start your sit-ups.”

“Oh, haha.”

They all continued training with everyone eventually doing one hundred sit-ups. As they rested, they talked about their days, upcoming events, old stories, made jokes, everything mundane. Even with six personalities, some similar and some vastly different, the night remained calm and without trouble. Celeste didn’t have any moments where she was reminded of the life she tried to hide, didn’t feel any moments where the energy around them was uneasy, didn’t experience any hate towards herself or the others. All they did was talk. Nothing more.

When it got late enough for a majority of the team to get tired, they all stood up, got their things, said goodbye, and left. Nothing special happened. Nothing dramatic or life-changing happened. She walked back to the main building with Mikan, both of them too tired to say anything significant to each other. Celeste even gave her a genuine smile as they parted ways.

Smiling. Why was she smiling?

Was this what happiness felt like? Real happiness? Celeste had never realized how drained and stressed she was before she joined the training team. It didn’t make any sense; she had friends before, the freaks and weirdos of her previous school, but now that she was a part of a team, those people felt more like strangers who came together because of a common interest. She never connected with them and when she got accepted into Hope’s Peak Academy, she barely said goodbye. They weren’t friends, just people to keep her school life from being boring.

Now, she had real friends, people she cared about. People who cared about her. She hadn’t had that in a long time. She stood outside of her room, relishing in the lack of pain in her heart. Celeste felt tears building up in her eyes, not from despair, but at how she was finally at peace.

Peace. That was all she ever wanted in her life. Peace.

She couldn’t let anyone see her like that, so she quickly swiped her e-handbook over the reader next to her door. When she grabbed her doorknob, she found that she couldn’t turn it. She must’ve done it too quickly. Celeste swiped again, slower this time, and the door still didn’t unlock. She did it again, becoming anecdotal evidence for the unofficial definition of insanity.

Was her e-handbook broken? Great. Now she would have to go bother Kiyotaka or Kazuichi at a late hour if she wanted to get into her room. She didn’t want either of them to see her in sweaty gym clothes. Was there a way to fix her e-handbook on her own to avoid that? Celeste turned it on.

_ Ultimate Detective, Ultimate Lucky Student: Shuichi Saihara _

...What?

Of course her e-handbook wouldn’t open her door; it wasn’t her e-handbook. She had accidentally picked up Shuichi’s, which meant that Shuichi likely had—

She gasped, seeing the persona she had created and the life she planned for herself flash before her eyes. Celeste had heard that was what happened right before you died. Her dreams that she aspired to for years as the only hope that things would get better in her life started to crumble away. Her hard work that led her to Hope’s Peak Academy in the first place was all for naught. 

Celestia Ludenberg was about to die.

Taeko dashed toward the class C dorms.

As she ran, she wondered how her life had come to this: running. Not just physically running from Tsumugi or Kaede, but running away from her problems. All Taeko wanted was to be happy, but being born into a shit family in a shitty situation kept it away from her. What could she do but run away? That was all she could do; run away from that life and create a new one.

But peace was only for the privileged. Peace was only for the comfortable and the universe never wanted Taeko to be comfortable.

She was only allowed security for a fleeting moment. That was all she’d ever get.

Taeko would never be happy. Taeko would never know peace.

She burst into the outdoor dormitory, seeing only Shuichi standing outside his room, turning when he heard the main door open. Taeko, nearly out of breath, stared at him with tears in her eyes that he could barely see with how dark it was. The only thing that she could rely on was a tiny sliver of hope that she had gotten there in time. She hoped that her luck could pull through in this dire moment.

But, of course, he was the hidden Ultimate Lucky Student. His luck prevailed. Shuichi squinted at her, looked down at the e-handbook in his hand that wouldn’t unlock his door, and back up at Taeko. His eyebrows lifted, tilted his head back a little, and parted his lips; a universal look that he realized a great mystery to him.

It was too late.

Shuichi knew her name and with that, as an Ultimate Detective as well, he could piece together the truth behind the constant lies she had been telling everyone. He knew that Taeko was a pathetic loser, an unhappy failure, that was born from nothing and would never amount to anything.

This wasn’t going to be how it ended.

She let out one long, slow breath, followed by a sharp inhale, regaining her composure. After getting herself together, Celeste dashed toward Shuichi, used his e-handbook to unlock his door, and dragged him into his room.

“H-Hey!” he expressed.

She dropped his e-handbook on the floor, grabbed his collar, and slammed him against the door. If he knew her real name, he knew that her accent was fake and her French-German blood was fabricated as well. While she never lied about being Japanese, she obviously lied about her heritage. It wasn’t that much of a stretch to believe her family didn’t come from famous musicians or nobility. “Listen to me. You will say nothing of this to anyone,” she threatened.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down—”

Because of Kyoko, he already knew about her petty theft record. Rich people stole all the time, but if he knew she wasn’t nobility and had old money, then he could deduce that she was born into poverty, relying on stealing in order to have her needs met. “You _ have _ nothing to say to anyone. All you did was return to your room without any problems,  _ yes?” _

“Celeste—” He squirmed but didn’t try to loosen her grip. Shuichi pressed himself further into the wall, trying to get as far away from her as possible. He turned his head, afraid to look her in the eye. That’s right, he was afraid of the truth, so if she was a little more forceful, she could manipulate him into keeping his mouth shut.

“You bastard!” she yelled. “You did this on purpose just to spite me! You switched our handbooks because you were nosy and could not mind your own business!”

“No, I didn’t—”

“You enjoy the suffering of others, especially criminals as you do not believe we are people. Is that true?”

“N-No!”

She gripped his collar tighter. “Then promise you will not tell anyone.”

He hesitated, something running through his mind. It must’ve been then that he was piecing things together.

“Shuichi!” He shook him, trying to get him to commit. “If you run your fucking mouth, I will tell them you are not a real detective. You are just lucky. Whatever evidence you found that helped win the case that got you scouted was out of pure luck.” His lip quivered and he squeezed his eyes shut; Celeste knew she hit a sore spot. “You do not belong here with the rest of us. You belong in the reserve course, but instead, you chose to lie to your friends.”

“...I won’t tell them.”

Celeste let out a breath. “Good.” She let go of him. “We have a deal?”

He held his chest, looking down at the floor. “You didn’t have to say all of that...”

“Oh? Did you think that because I wore your hat for a day that we are close? I only meant to mend my relationship with Kaede, not you.”

“No, I mean… I wouldn’t have told anyone anyway.”

“I am supposed to believe you would not inform your best friend?” The last thing Celeste wanted was for Kaede to find out that Celeste wasn’t as extravagant as she appeared. She already broke Kaede’s trust once and if she knew that if Celeste was a completely different person, then Kaede certainly wouldn’t want to have anything to do with her. She valued Kaede’s company and loved every time she called Celeste ‘weird and cool.’ Taeko wasn’t ‘cool’ and Celeste could see Kaede’s fondness for her slipping through her fingers.

Shuichi scratched his chin. “Well… I can’t look into the future so I can’t give you an honest answer, but if you just told me not to say anything, I wouldn’t have.”

“Why would I trust you to listen to me?”

“We’re a team…? And you wore my hat to help me.”

Celeste shook her head. “Did I not make it clear that I only did that to appease Kaede’s depression? It had nothing to do with you.”

Shuichi took a step back. “Ah, well… I haven’t told anyone about the ‘petty theft’ thing. It sounded like something Kyoko said just to hurt your feelings, so I figured you didn’t want anyone to know about that.” How… observant of him. Shuichi was a kind boy and one of the few people at the school that understood when to mind his business. “I can’t tell you what to do, Celeste, but I want you to trust me.”

“Do you trust  _ me?” _ How could she trust someone else when they didn’t trust her?

He had to think for a moment. “...Not as much as I could, but I’m going to believe that you wouldn’t hurt me. We’re a team.”

“How can you say something so stupid?” Celeste laughed. “I just threatened you.”

“I’d imagine as a gambler, you’ve learned how to react quickly to problems. You just reacted, right?” He dropped his shoulders. “Please tell me you were just scared or something…”

At the bottom of her heart, she didn’t want to hurt him. She never  _ wanted _ to harm anyone, but every hateful word she ever said was meant to protect herself, to keep people worse than her away. Evil was just a character she played, but it wasn’t natural. Now that the mask was down and the truth was out…

She remained silent, unsure whether to deny the truth or embrace it.

Shuichi sighed. “It really is just a name, Celeste. You can call yourself whatever you want. Even if I told our friends, I don’t think they would care.”

She couldn’t accept that. “Really?” she snarked, raising an eyebrow. “You really do not believe anyone would care that I am lying about who I am?”

“You’re not lying to me. You’re going by a different name. Well, I guess the accent is fake too?”

She didn’t respond.

He shrugged. “If you’re telling people that you’re a vampire, I don’t think people would care to know that your accent isn’t real. You’ve even said you’re from Utsunomiya, though I don’t know if anyone else caught that. Maybe they did and they didn’t care. What I’m saying is I think you think people care about things more than they actually do. Our friends wouldn’t care that you’ve had petty theft charges either. You’re already a gambler.”

“Kaede would care,” Celeste spat out.

Shuichi nodded admittedly. “Well, yeah. It’s Kaede, but I don’t think Kaede would think any less of you. I don’t.” Shuichi gave a light smile. “If you want to be called Celeste, that’s what I’ll call you.”

It wasn’t making sense. He wasn’t reacting as Kyoko did. He didn’t think she was a loser or mock her for hiding her true self. “You’re acting like you’re not even shocked. You don’t find it weird that I lied to you about who I am? That I lied about where I came from?” There was no point in the accent now.

“A little, but I’m…” Shuichi looked a little stiff.

“You’re trying not to react.” He was trying to spare her feelings. “Ridiculous. You think I’m too  _ weak _ to handle whatever words you have to say?” Celeste clenched her fists. “You see? You wouldn’t have thought that if you didn’t know my name.”

“No, that’s not true. I see you more as a person now. A person with feelings like everyone else. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and upset you anymore since you’re already upset.”

“As I said, you see me as weaker.”

“Feelings aren’t a weakness!” It was of no surprise that struck a nerve with the emo boy. “Even the worst feelings have a purpose. I thought you of all people would know that.”

“I’m trained in the darkness of the heart,” Celeste said, referring to her gothic nature.

Shuichi put his hand to his chin. “You can’t train your feelings. Sadness is sadness, pain is pain. No matter how many times you feel it, it always hurts the same.”

“Perhaps, but darkness isn’t simply not feeling, it’s how well you are at hiding them.” What the hell were they even talking about anymore? It was rare for Celeste to be able to connect with someone within her alternative subculture as in order to do so to the extent that she wanted, she’d need to break character. She wanted to fully express herself, but Celestia Ludenberg wasn’t supposed to express anything. She was supposed to be cold and heartless so no one would see past her and find a weakness they could exploit; that was the way of the gambler. But this was a private setting and Shuichi already knew who she was. Celeste didn’t need to hide, at least not as much.

They continued speaking nonsense to each other, poetic in their minds but nonsense nonetheless. Was this security? Celeste could speak from the heart without fear of ridicule because Shuichi felt the same way. A weight in her heart lifted, knowing Shuichi would never make fun of her nor change his opinion of her. If she told other people her real name, would they react the same?

Probably not, this was likely something only with Shuichi. Celeste still had to become Celestia Ludenberg, but maybe she could find solace in her harrowing journey to become her in him.

Eventually, as their conversation wound down, Shuichi asked, “Are you going to be okay?”

“Of course. I always turn out okay, but only if you keep this a secret.”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

“Thank you, Shuichi.” She curtseyed, despite not wearing a dress. He bowed in respect. After he returned her e-handbook, Celeste said, “I will be taking my leave now.”

As she turned to leave, he reached out his hand. “Before you go, can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“You never said if you were just scared or not. Do you… really think I’m not a good detective?”

Not only was Celeste's answer going to dispel his anxiety, but it was a perfect chance to apologize. Did she want to apologize?

_ No! _

But at the same time, with all that he knew, Shuichi didn’t look down on Celeste like Kyoko did. “Technically, since you are the only Ultimate Detective who interacts with me, by default, you are the best one.”

Shuichi frowned. “I heard about what happened with Kyoko. If you want, you and I can play Othello.”

She loved games and, frankly, she missed having a weekly challenger. She adored Kaede’s determination to beat her, but Kaede played for fun, not to push herself to become a better player. Celeste appreciated his offering— a friendly gesture— but was that what she wanted? Shuichi knew too much and she wanted to keep up whatever remaining bits of Celestia Ludenberg she could. “Do you even know how to play?”

“Ah. No.”

“Then you would not compare.”

“...But I’m really good at shogi. I got third place in my district a few years ago. We can play that instead.”

“Shogi?” That was her weakness; a heavily strategic and complicated game that all of the pretentious assholes played, but she didn’t know how. “I… do not know how to play shogi.”

“Oh!” Surprising Celeste, he wasn’t disappointed. “I can teach you. Once you understand how everything works, it’s easy, depending on your opponent.”

“Do you think I would be an easy opponent?”

“No… but that’s why I think it’ll be fun.”

She smiled, feeling she was on her path to finding peace. “Yes, I suppose it would be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goth-Emo solidarity. Celeste FINALLY had a moment with all of the team.
> 
> Anyway, no chapter next week. I work in retail and Thanksgiving/Black Friday week is very busy, so I’ll have little time to write. I need a break anyway. Even still, I have to consistently work longer hours, so expect shorter chapters from here on out, though I still want to guarantee a minimum of ten pages. The last chapter is hopefully the shortest it will ever get. I would stop uploading weekly, but if I did that, the story would never get done. Better to have something of lesser quality than nothing at all. You can always edit later.


	25. Reality Check

It wasn’t easy giving piano lessons while wearing a cap that obscured half of your vision, so Kaede, the last team member in line to wear Shuichi’s hat, turned it backward. She expected some snarky response about her style from her protégé but got nothing more than a short glance. That was the first indication that there was something wrong with Celeste.

The next was that she was barely paying attention. Normally, as Kaede went on and on about piano, sometimes saying things that weren’t important in the moment, Celeste listened tentatively, nodding to express that she understood, or at least was making an attempt to follow Kaede’s strange train of thought. Now, Celeste’s face was blank and emotionless. Actually, now that Kaede was thinking about it, Celeste had been like this for a few days. Kaede had passed it off as Celeste being passive and calm— brooding and moody, maybe— but it had been three days since she last saw Celeste smile. She wasn’t happy and she wasn’t trying to hide it as usual.

When Kaede spoke, Celeste did nothing to make it clear she was listening. When Kaede gave her an instruction, Celeste would occasionally ask her to repeat what she said. Even with that, Celeste barely spoke. She never asked any questions to clarify what Kaede said or out of intrigue. She didn’t say anything more complex than “Okay,” or “I see.” Celeste didn’t brag about her growing skill, didn’t tease Kaede for acting like a servant to her, nor did she flavor her speech with dramatic spice. Everything that made Celeste who she was, even the traits that were frustrating yet somehow attractive to Kaede, was gone. Kaede had enough of it.

She lifted her hands from the piano and sternly said, “Hey.”

It took a moment before Celeste looked up at her. “Yes?”

Kaede, wanting to touch her to comfort her but too afraid to cross a physical boundary, gently tapped Celeste’s arm. “You okay?” she asked softly.

Celeste’s voice was low and hard to hear, nearing a whisper. “Yes.”

“Mm…” She bit her cheek. “You seem kind of out of it.”

“Oh. Well, I am fine.” Celeste didn’t even give a reassuring smile.

“No,” Kaede readjusted so that the pianist’s bench was between her legs and she could face Celeste, “something’s off. What’s wrong, buddy?” She booped Celeste’s nose, who huffed and looked away, shaking her head. Not even a boop worked.

“...It is not important.”

“But it _is_ something?”

Celeste didn’t say anything.

Kaede frowned. She didn’t like seeing Celeste upset, but she knew Celeste didn’t like it when she probed her for information. “Okay. I won’t push it but just know… well…” She rested her hand on Celeste’s. “You know.”

Celeste turned back to her and, looking at Kaede’s lips, mimicked her frown. Maybe it was Kaede projecting her own desires onto Celeste, but when her eyes fell to Kaede’s shoulder, she seemed to want to rest her head there for comfort. Kaede squeezed her hand.

“...Where do people like you come from?”

Kaede furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“Always happy, always smiling, always optimistic, as if the sun follows you around to keep your world bright, never knowing pain and suffering.”

Kaede wasn’t always happy, but it felt like there was something Celeste was trying to say, so she kept quiet.

“Tell me, how…” She paused, her words fighting to get out. “...truthful do you believe I am?”

It was a weird question and Kaede didn’t know why Celeste was asking it. “Um… I don’t know. You probably lie more than the average person because you’re a gambler so, like, statistically—” Kaede squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t understand the question.”

“Given the…” Celeste pushed her tongue into her cheek, “hypothetical situation that I have,” she closed her mouth and bit her lip, thinking whether or not to continue, “been lying to you about some things,” she waved her hand, trying to force her words out, “regarding myself, how would you feel?”

Kaede put her hands on her hips and smiled. “Are you gonna tell me you’re not the Ultimate Vampire? I already knew that, silly!”

Celeste didn’t laugh at her joke.

She dropped her shoulders and drummed her fingers against the bench. “Sorry… Um, I guess it depends on what you tell me. Like, if you tell me you’re the Ultimate Imposter, I’m gonna be really mad again. Really, _really_ mad.”

“And if I was an imposter? Not the Ultimate Imposter, but an imposter nonetheless? You would hate me, correct?”

“What? No, Celeste, I could never hate you.”

Celeste pushed air out of her nose. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Why are you saying all this?”

“Because… I have realized that none of this is real. None of this,” she gestured towards the piano, “is real. Everything between us,” she dejectedly put her arms down, “...none of it is real. Nothing in my life is real.” Celeste stared into empty space. “But this is the life I have chosen. There is no other way.” She looked at Kaede with eyes that reminded her of Maki’s. “Shuichi said that no one would care, but I can only think of the thousands of ways telling you could go wrong.”

Kaede didn’t know what was wrong. “Are you trying to tell me something? Whatever it is, it’s making you… I don’t like seeing you like this.” Kaede reached over Celeste’s body to hold her arm furthest from her, moving Celeste so she was facing her as well. “You’re usually so confident and sure of yourself, I don’t want you to feel whatever you’re feeling.”

“And that is the problem. I cannot have you see me differently. I have not even said anything and you already know too much.”

Kaede couldn’t resist; she pulled Celeste in for a hug. “You know, you’re super-duper smart, but you think too much. Just don’t think that hard about it and it won’t hurt as much.”

“Hm. ‘Just don’t think about it.’ Of course, you would say that. It is that easy for you. Everything is so easy for you.”

“Huh?” Kaede lifted her head from Celeste’s neck.

Celeste’s face remained hollow. “You have never had a problem, have you? You have never experienced pain, never had to lie for your own safety… hm.”

That was a little rude. Kaede had problems before, plenty of them. She was going through a lot at that moment, but just didn’t want to tell anyone. “What? No, that’s not true at all.”

Celeste ignored her and continued. “You have everything you could need: clean clothes, wonderful meals, a home big enough to house your talent— you must have a lovely family too, yes?”

“Yeah…?”

“You take it all for granted. Fresh clothes,” she tapped Kaede’s sweater vest where she had repaired it, “but you do not care to get them fixed. Access to top rate meals, but you do not eat them.”

“I told you, I forget—”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Celeste nodded slowly, “You forget. You are comfortable enough that food is never on your mind. The very thing you need to live, you do not think about it. Do you not eat with your family?”

“I do,” Kaede scratched her head. “My parents are the ones that remind me.”

Celeste finally let out a small chuckle, but it wasn’t out of joy. In her eyes was seething hatred. “Of course. Of course, you eat with your family. They must love to be with you. That is why you are the way you are.” She began to speak louder. “You know nothing but love and kindness. They must really love you for you to turn out how you are!”

“Yeah, they do. Are— Are you okay—”

“Haha! You are so lucky, dear! So, so lucky to be born happy,” she exclaimed through gritted teeth. Her breathing got heavier as she stared at Kaede with wide eyes. “You are correct, that I did not gain my title from my luck, no… Nonono, it is _you_ that is lucky! _You_ are the one with the piano in your home, with money for lessons, with the family that makes sure you are doing everything that you need to do to succeed. A family that you shared meals with, a family that hugged and kissed you, a family that meant it when they said they loved you, while people like Maki do not even have parents. People like Mikan, who’s parents retaliate with violence. People like me, who’s parents are— who are— who—” She was practically hyperventilating. “They— they do— they do not care! They do not care at all! While you sit in your happy home with parents who will comfort you after a nightmare, I-I must beg for sustenance to keep me alive because they do not care!”

With Celeste’s eyes growing watery, Kaede had to stop her. “Celeste—”

 _“No!_ You will listen to me. You have no idea, you have _no_ idea how lucky you are. You have no idea what it will _ever_ be like to have to pick the mold off of bread and slather maple syrup between the slices since that is all that is left after your mother has eaten all of the chicken and broccoli that _you_ made! You have the privilege of speaking to your father regularly, as opposed to the only time you see him being when he returns home from a long day of work and barely lifting his arm to say hello! You have no idea what you have, yet you assume everyone else has what you do. All it takes to make you feel better is to say ‘It will get better,’ because you have never been taught that it will _never_ get better! You were handed a perfect life wrapped in a bow while I had to _earn_ and work for everything in my life. Everything! _Everything!”_ As soon as a single tear fell, Celeste wiped it away, stiffened, and looked down at her legs. “...I have had enough of piano lessons for today.”

“No, Celeste—” Kaede tried to keep Celeste down but she got brushed away as Celeste stood up.

“I have had enough. Thank you for the lessons.”

“Celeste, no,” Kaede stumbled up, following Celeste as she headed toward the door. “I’m not letting you leave after you tell me something like that—”

“I have had enough.” Her voice was quiet but harsh as it cracked.

“Celeste—”

Without looking back, Celeste roughly stated, “Good day,” and pushed through the doors.

Kaede had to chase after her.

She had to give her space.

She needed to comfort her friend.

She didn’t want to overstep a boundary.

Kaede kept moving back and forth as one part of her brain told her to go after her while the other part told her to stay. It all happened so quickly; was it Kaede’s fault? Should she not have said anything? What did she do wrong this time? If she did something wrong, she had to fix it, but Celeste made it clear she wanted to be left alone. “Aaaargh!”

Think. She needed to think. Don’t assume, listen to the other person. Kaede pressed her wrists to her temples. What did she say, what did Celeste say? She had to remember and _listen_ to what Celeste said.

Oh god, oh no. Celeste! Was that why… was that why Celeste was like that? Was that why she craved attention and why she got so offended when Kaede didn’t eat? Celeste didn’t want Kaede to see her differently after knowing her parents neglected her and Kaede wanted to respect her wish, but things were starting to make sense now. All the drama, all the strangeness, all the mystery; Celeste just wanted to be seen in a way no one had ever seen her before. She wanted to be _seen_ but not looked down upon. She didn’t want to be lesser than everyone else like she had probably felt at home. 

And Kaede had been taking her life for granted. Everything she had known, everything she assumed everyone had; that wasn’t always true. She had her basic needs met to a point where she never considered it was possible for someone to not have them. It didn’t feel like Celeste was trying to make Kaede feel guilty for something out of her control, she was only expressing her frustration that she didn’t have what she should and that her friend didn’t recognize it.

Dammit. Dammit! How could someone be so cruel?! How could someone’s parents like Mikan’s or Celeste’s not love and cherish their kid? Their own _kid!_ Kaede didn’t want to believe it; she wanted Celeste to have misunderstood something her parents did and was overexaggerating. She wanted to believe Celeste was lying, that she was just pulling some sick prank or revenge like when she got the Ultimate Imposter to impersonate her. Maybe Mikan’s parents really were that awful, Kaede could accept one instance, but to have _another_ one of her friends confess to abusive parents was… Could there _really_ be that many abusive parents in the world?

Celeste was her friend. Kaede cared about her maybe more than anyone else in the world. Even with the confusing amount of distrust Celeste exuded from herself, her reaction was genuine. That was real, honest pain. The Celeste Kaede knew would never be that vulnerable and that wasn’t the Celeste she knew. That was the real Celeste, not the fantasy Kaede had been seeing through rose-colored glasses.

Celeste wasn’t as special as Kaede had thought. She wasn’t some high and mighty asshole that only cared about herself, but she also wasn’t broken and needed to be fixed. Dammit, why had Kaede ever thought that? Celeste was a human being. She wasn’t a confident yet cold vampire that regularly sought out prey. Celeste was a girl who loved art, made some of her own, loved games, and admired nature. She laughed, she cried, she got angry, she sweat when she exercised. There were things she knew she was good at and she had her own insecurities. She was an active listener and was compassionate enough to accommodate for Kaede’s different brain wiring. She could feel insulted, betrayed, and could be abused.

Celeste was… a person. Just like Kaede.

She certainly wasn’t average, but she was a person.

Did this realization make Kaede love her any less? No. It only made her feelings for her grow stronger. Celeste wasn’t perfect; she was real. She was a _real_ person.

Did Kaede love Celeste?

...Did Kaede _love_ Celeste?

She loved her parents, she loved her friends, but did she love Celeste? Everyone always wondered what it meant to love; a majority of songs were about finding love, feeling love, or losing love. But love was always easy for Kaede. She knew how she felt.

She wanted Celeste to feel it too.

It didn’t have to be with Kaede, as long as she felt it.

That was what love meant to her.

And because she loved Celeste, she was going to respect her and give her some space. It wasn’t what Kaede wanted, but what Kaede wanted didn’t matter. She just wanted Celeste to be okay.

Kaede needed a distraction, otherwise, she’d sulk unproductively in her lab worrying about Celeste. She found herself outside the Ultimate Detective lab. Inside, she saw Kyoko laying casually on the couch as she read a book while Shuichi looked through a microscope. When they heard the door open, they both looked up.

“Oh, hey, Kaede,” Shuichi greeted.

“Good afternoon,” Kyoko smiled. “Visiting?”

“Yeah,” Kaede said dryly, her hands in her pockets. Kyoko must’ve noticed something was off about Kaede as she squinted for a moment, but decided not to say anything and returned to her book.

Shuichi gestured for Kaede to walk over to him. “Hey, check this out.” When she looked through the microscope, all Kaede saw were two hairs, one black and one a lighter shade. “Isn’t that cool?”

“Yeah, I guess hair is cool.”

“The dark one is mine and the lighter one is Rantaro’s.” Shuichi picked up a brush on the table. “We were talking about our talents and he gave me his brush so I could compare our hair. You can see the faded dye over top his natural hair under a microscope. His hair, even though it’s dyed, is pretty smooth while mine’s… uh…” Rantaro’s hair was one, consistent stand while Shuichi’s broke off into several pieces. “I really need to condition my hair…”

“Oh,” Kaede pulled out from the microscope. “I didn’t know Rantaro was back.”

“Mmhm,” he nodded, “He came back from Brazil a few hours ago. I guess you didn’t notice since you were in your lab all day. Which reminds me: aren’t you usually giving Celeste piano lessons right now?”

“Yeah, but, uh…” She didn’t want to give too much away. Celeste shared something really personal and Kaede already had a bad track record with keeping secrets. “We’re taking a break for now.”

“Piano lessons?” Kyoko questioned from across the room. “I never would’ve imagined Celeste to agree to something like that.”

Kaede scrunched her face and shook her head, befuddled. “What? Why not? She loves classical music.”

“Sure,” Kyoko shrugged, “but I distinctly remember her telling me she wasn’t one for playing an instrument. It must’ve been hard to get her to do that.”

“No, I just asked her.”

“You _only_ asked her?” Shoot. Now that she thought about it, Kaede definitely pressured Celeste. She didn’t mean to, Kaede only thought she was trying to convince her. Crap. “Though I’m shocked to see that you have been regularly able to Celeste to do a lot of things she wouldn’t normally do. She must be fond of you.”

“We’re friends.”

“Is that what you believe?” Kyoko slammed her book shut with one hand and placed it on the couch as she got up. “I’m sorry, Kaede, but it’s highly likely Celeste doesn’t see you that way.”

That didn’t make sense. _Of course_ they were friends; Celeste said Kaede was C-Rank! She wouldn’t have confessed about her parents if she didn’t trust Kaede! “Wh-Why are you telling me this? Why would you think that?”

“Because you’re a good person. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

 _Good person?_ No, Kaede wasn’t a good person. She tried to be, but she wasn’t yet. She had a lot of learning to do. Who the hell did Kyoko think she was, acting like she _knew_ Kaede? Why was _Kaede_ the good person when it was her that initially ignored her friends wishes? Why did Kyoko think Kaede was the good one when half of her problems she caused herself? “What, you think I can’t handle her? That I’m completely incapable of deciding who I talk to on my own? I’m not a baby.”

“...I didn’t mean to insult your intelligence. I’m only saying Celeste has a way of attracting and manipulating people she wants to be around. You need to look out.”

“And you know this _how_ exactly?”

“I’ve observed her for a while now and based on other criminals I’ve seen, she matches perfectly.”

“Matches perfectly with what?” Remembering how Kyoko ditched Celeste after she beat her at Othello, Kaede knew exactly what she was going to say.

“A narcissist.”

“A narcissist,” Kaede repeated in disbelief, an angry smile on her face.

“Not just any narcissist, she probably has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.”

That was exactly what Shuichi had said before, that Celeste had some problem with empathy which made her someone she should never talk to. Stupid. That wasn’t how people worked. “So, you think she doesn’t feel empathy and because of that, she’s going to hurt me?”

“I think she is a narcissist and is going to hurt you, yes. If she hasn’t already.”

Kaede scoffed. “And you know she doesn’t feel empathy because…?”

“Have you ever noticed that she rarely talks about other people? Instead, she chooses to brag about herself.” There were plenty of times where someone was talking and Kaede said something that was inappropriate at the time. That didn’t mean Kaede didn’t feel empathy. “I’ve never seen her convey that she relates to other people’s emotions, such as when someone else is sad, she isn’t upset. Even if someone is happy, she doesn’t respond.” Wrong. Celeste mimed Kaede’s faces all the time, though it wasn’t clear if Celeste was just mocking Kaede’s weird faces. Even still, when Kaede felt bad, Celeste may not have expressed the same feeling, but she did try to make her feel better. She never said it in the kindest way, but she still tried and it worked. “In fact, she finds pleasure in saying strange things specifically to upset people.” So? She’s goth. She’s weird. Get over it.

But before Kaede got a chance to go off on her, Shuichi spoke up. “That’s not true. Even if it was, not feeling empathy and being manipulative are two different things.”

Kyoko didn’t expect Shuichi to say anything, let alone be on Kaede’s side. “Correct, but are you saying Celeste isn’t manipulative?”

He looked down at Rantaro’s brush, afraid to combat with someone he looked up to. “No… I’m just saying if Celeste doesn’t relate with us, that doesn’t automatically make her a bad person. Maki’s our friend but she’s not…” He tried to speak as kindly as he could, “the most empathetic person out there.”

Kyoko nodded and put her hand to her chin. “Fair point, there are many reasons why someone wouldn’t feel empathy, but it’s not like it’s a positive trait to have. Maki has her own separate problems and I know that her feelings, or lack thereof, are caused by something else. Allow me to rephrase what I mean: Celeste is entitled and only cares about herself. She feels nothing towards you, which is why she is willing to manipulate you. Have I made myself any clearer?”

Kaede was starting to get pissed off and put her fists on her hips. “Uh, _yeah_ , you’ve made it clear that you think we’re having a fun little debate instead of talking about an actual _human being!_ Your points are friggin’ wrong anyway! Have you ever talked to Celeste?”

“I used to play Othello with her.”

“No, I mean _actually_ talked to her. Like about the things she likes or the stuff that she cares about.”

“I keep my distance, but I know enough.”

“Enough? How can you know _enough_ about a person?” She clapped her hands together. “Okay, okay, so I’m assuming you know that she’s a gambler, so she’s a ‘criminal-evil-narcissist-whatever.’ Sure. Okay. Whatever. But you also know she loves roses, right? And that she’s afraid of bugs, except for moths? That she makes her own clothes and spends a lot of her free time reading old vampire novels? Or that she _doesn’t_ like tea with honey and she really, _really_ loves board games?” There was so much more Kaede wanted to bring up but out of respect for Celeste’s privacy, she made the choice not to. “Because you _know_ her, right?”

“I know she likes board games—” _One_ thing! “Although, she only plays them because she feels the need to prove she’s better than her opponent.”

Yeah, beating your opponent was the _point_ of a game! Kaede was competitive as hell, and so was Celeste! And when Kyoko finally beat her at Othello and left Celeste alone— “Do you know what happened after you won that Othello game?”

“...She didn’t lash out at you, did she? That was careless of me to leave you alone in the room with her.”

“No, she didn’t. She cried, actually.”

Kyoko raised an eyebrow. “...What?”

“She tried to hide it from me, but she did cry.”

Kyoko folded her arms. “Hm. Are you sure they were real and not a ploy—”

“You hurt her feelings,” Kaede interrupted, remembering the rage she felt that day. “You don’t even care do you? You don’t even believe _me_ when _I_ tell you. Me, a _‘good’_ person. How can you tell me Celeste doesn’t feel empathy when _you’re_ the one that doesn’t even care that you hurt her feelings?!”

Kaede was so caught up in her own anger that she didn’t see Shuichi was getting riled up too, with clenched fists. “Kaede’s right. All you’ve ever done was tell me Celeste was dangerous but— but she’s my friend now. I know things about her that I think you know too, but we interpreted it differently. I don’t know how you can see her the way you do!”

Hyped up, Kaede yelled, “Yeah. Yeah! Maybe Celeste’s selfish and a little arrogant but that doesn’t mean she’s a _narcissist!_ Byakuya’s probably more of a narcissist than she is and you talk to him all the damned time! You’re friends!”

“Byakuya doesn’t like attention nearly as much as the average person, let alone Celeste, who’s always begging for it.” Kyoko rebutted.

Of course, Celeste begged for attention; no one gave it to her! “Don’t you think that _maybe_ if someone’s begging for attention, then you should give them attention?!”

“Perhaps, but you shouldn’t encourage bad behavior.”

“Oh,” Kaede crossed her arms. “I didn’t know you have a degree in Psychology. I’d love to see your diploma.”

Kyoko didn’t say anything.

Kaede puffed out her chest and smirked. “No, seriously. Show me. Show me your degree. The degree you got at the all-knowing age of fifteen.”

Kyoko started to back off. “I only meant to help—”

“No,” Kaede stepped closer to Kyoko. “I’m gonna tell you what’s up.” She picked up the book Kyoko was reading: a detective novel. “You love mysteries and look at life through this lens. In these stories, everyone is a suspect until proven otherwise. You have to assume anyone and everyone is a bad person or else you’ll miss a vital clue. You ‘observed’ me and said, ‘Kaede isn’t the kind of person to hurt someone on purpose,’ so you declared me a good person, but Celeste didn’t pass whatever filter you have. She’s already a criminal and she’s not easy to get along with and since detectives have to assume the worst, you deemed her a bad person. You’ve been trained to look at people _objectively_ rather than with _compassion._ You saw her and considered her a lost cause because detectives don’t prevent crimes, they’re only get called _after_ something bad happens. So, what happens after you solve the mystery?” Kaede threw the book onto the couch. “You close the book and move on to the next story! Congrats! You caught the bad guy! What happens to them after that?! They’re still people!”

Kyoko blinked.

“That’s what you do, that’s all you do. Shuichi may not have a famous last name like you, but I _bet_ you he shows compassion for every single victim _and_ culprit than you _ever_ could! You— You just left Celeste behind after you won because…” That was Celeste’s life. She was surrounded by people who left her behind. “...because you don’t care! She looked up to you and you didn’t care! All you care about is solving a mystery, completely forgetting that she is a person, a human being! She is not _just_ a criminal, she’s a _person!_ You think you’re sooo smart because come from a family of detectives. You realize you’re just _lucky_ , right? You’re _lucky_ your family has such high morals because you could’ve been born into a family of awful, _awful_ people. And then another family would’ve looked at you the same way you look at Celeste! But no. _You’re_ the one that doesn’t feel empathy! You have this idea of who you want her to be so you can write her off as a checkmark on your casebook and— and—” She huffed, rage burning her heart hot enough to melt platinum. There was no point anymore. There was only one thing left to say.

“You know what, Kyoko?!” Kaede pointed a stiff finger at her. _“Fuck you!”_

For a moment, the air was silent, aside from Kaede’s quick, furious breaths. Damn, that felt good to say. Anything to defend the girl she loved.

Kyoko looked down at the floor, her fist over her mouth as she thought. “...I see.”

“You… you get it now?”

It took a moment before Kyoko said something else. “Initially, I thought the force that was stronger than Celeste’s luck was her own hubris. If someone like you or I could see through it, we could beat her at her own game. It seems I was wrong. That wasn’t what let me win.”

Shuichi asked, “Then what was it?”

Kyoko paused. “I think Kaede already knows.”

Kaede rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. All I’m hearing is that you weren’t listening to what I was saying.”

“I was listening. Have you not realized it yet?” She smiled. “Well, the answer isn’t something I can tell you. You have to figure it out yourself.”

Kaede threw her hands up into the air. “No. I’m done with your cryptic crap. Full offense, but it’s condescending and really frustrating.”

Kyoko said nothing.

Shaking her head, she turned to leave. “I’m out of here.”

As she stomped out of the door, all she could think about was how no one understood Celeste. Hell, even Kaede didn’t fully understand, but at least she was trying. At least she cared.

She returned to her lab and crashed her hands onto the keys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyoko's my favorite character in all of Danganronpa, but it kind of makes me sad that in canon and in fanfiction, she's always 100% right. You never question her judgment. Yeah, she's the Ultimate Detective but she's still a kid. She doesn't have the wisdom of someone who's been a detective for 40+ years. I just wanted to write something where she was wrong. And I love when Kaede says fuck.
> 
> Anyway, get your flu shot.


	26. Dreams

“This is Leafy,” Maki gently held up a small pot with a fern inside of it, her hands clutching it with fragility unexpected of an assassin. “He’s a Dwarf Japanese fern. He’s really small now, but he’ll outgrow his pot soon.” She dusted off a knife on a table to make room for the fern to be in front of two other blue-green plants. “That’s Planty and that’s Greeny. They’re both dracaenas. They’re whiny and need more attention than Leafy. Maybe it’s ‘cus they’re twins and are always trying to compete with the other.” A table of three plants was the only comforting thing in the Ultimate Assassin’s research lab.

With Celeste’s hands on opposite forearms, she mocked, “Those are the worst names I have ever heard.”

“What else am I supposed to name plants? Craig?”

“Better than _Planty.”_

Maki poked one of Planty’s leaves. “Don’t make fun of Planty; he’s a good listener. You can’t come in here and complain about something you won’t tell me, and then get mad about the only help I can give you. If you wanna whine to someone else, do that.”

Insulted, Celeste spat, “I _did_ consider it, actually, but I did not wish to disturb Mikan in her honeymoon phase with Gonta. She is not useful in that state.” Mikan was the only one that knew about Celeste’s shitty parents, the only one that could relate to her fear of someone knowing, but Maki was a close second. Maki kept a huge secret, so maybe she’d sympathize with Celeste for revealing a secret about herself in a heightened emotional state that she was still coming down from. But instead, Maki directed Celeste to her plants.

“...Huh? If you wanted to talk to Mikan, then just talk to her.” Nothing Celeste said or did ever made rational sense to Maki.

While Celeste was too irrational, Maki was too simple. “As I _said_ , I cannot. You know how when two people are deeply in love, they can do nothing but obsess over the other? Their minds are only on each other.” Ever since she had gotten Gonta together with Mikan, the two were practically inseparable, aside from training. It was a shame Celeste had lost her only remaining servant. While conversations with him were unsatisfying, Celeste did miss his refreshing attitude. She had barely gotten a chance to get to know Mikan and she was already disappointed that she hardly had the time to gush over the horror genre with one of the only students who was equally as interested in it as Celeste was.

Celeste denied the growing jealousy that even paranoid Mikan, an underdog in life, was able to find love.

It wouldn’t last long. Love was conditional and never lasted long.

Maki raised an eyebrow. “Oh, is the honeymoon phase a real thing? I’ve never felt that way before, so I wouldn’t know.”

“No? You have never felt your heart engorge at the mere sight of an attractive suitor,” Celeste dramatically pressed the back of her wrist to her forehead, “as your skin burns with lust and the particles in your brain can only form their name?”

Maki turned to Celeste and squinted in disgust. “No…? Gross. If that’s what it’s supposed to be like, then I’m glad I don’t feel that.”

“You have seriously never felt any sort of way towards anyone in your life?”

“Nope.”

“Hm.” Celeste put her hand over her chin. “I have heard of circumstances where people who have experienced severe trauma lose interest in their partner or obtaining one. Do you believe that is what is happening?”

Maki shrugged. “I doubt it. I’ve always felt this way, even before I became an assassin. Even if that were true, it doesn’t change how I feel.”

“I suppose not.” She rested her elbow on the back of her hand. “Of course, I feel the same way.” She flicked her wrist. “Well— I, _tch,_ I _suppose_ I do find some people... _interesting,_ but that does not mean I wish to _romance_ them. It may— hm. It may come to _mind_ but I am a very busy lady with a very busy schedule. I do not have the time for such things.” Celeste turned her head and blocked her face with her hand so Maki couldn’t see her blush. “Take Korekiyo, for example: with his dark nature and knowledge of vampire lore, we would make a wonderful couple. But, alas, I am not one for love and I have much more important things to be concerned with. He has also expressed that he is like you in that he does not experience romantic or sexual feelings towards anyone, so there would be no point in me pursuing anything.” She decided it would be best to leave out that she _did_ try to pursue him, only to get rejected.

Maki’s lips were slightly parted in a dull confusion. “...You allosexuals always find a way to tell people your crushes. I don’t care.”

“Uch! He is not a _crush_ ,” she lied, “I said I simply find him interesting!”

Under the table, Maki picked up a metal case and opened it next to her plants, revealing pieces of a crossbow. “That gross thing about an engorged heart isn’t about him?” she teased.

“No- _wuh!”_

She paused. “...You hang out with Kaede too much.”

“Excuse me?” Surely, Maki couldn’t have known Celeste was initially talking about Kaede.

“You’re starting to sound like her.”

Celeste crossed her arms. “Hmph. I could never be like Kaede, with her optimism and her goofy rambling and her…” She hoped she was right in her assumption about Maki relating to keeping secrets. “...and her happy family.”

She waited for a response.

Maki bit her cheek as she thought of the meaning behind Celeste’s words. “Mm,” was all she said, beginning to attach the ends of the crossbow pieces.

“...That is it?”

“Did you want me to say something else?”

At least Kaede _reacted_ . Even if Celeste panicked and ran away, Kaede made it clear that she _cared._ “Did you not hear what I said?”

“I heard you.” Maki glanced up at Celeste and furrowed her eyebrows when she looked back down at the crossbow. “I don’t have anything to say.”

“I tell you I have an unhappy family, a secret I have been keeping, and you have nothing to say? Do I need to clarify?” Her body shivered with nervous anticipation. “They do not care for me in the slightest.”

“...That sucks.”

“That is _all?”_

Maki motioned towards her plants. “I said you can talk to my plants. They make me feel better when I’m angry about something.”

“I do not wish to speak to your plants, I wish to speak to you,” Celeste admitted. “I know we did not start on the right foot, but—” she clenched a fist, “ _something_ would be nice. Be upset, be angry, be _amused_ even, by my suffering.”

Seeing Celeste’s increasing anger, Maki apologized, “Sorry. Maybe if I knew how I was supposed to feel, I’d know what to say. I’m not emotional like Mikan or Kaede.”

“Are you saying you feel nothing at all?”

“Sorry.”

That was what Celeste wanted, right? She didn’t want people to see her differently if they knew about who she came from, but now that she was experiencing it, getting no reaction was much worse.

She looked around at all of the killing machines that decorated the walls. Were they the reason why Maki couldn’t feel anything? “Hm. Well, I suppose I cannot change your emotions or lack thereof,” Celeste concluded with a hint of spite. She wanted to accept her friend’s personality, even if it was disappointing for the situation.

“It was the same when Mikan told us her dad was abusive. I didn’t know what to say and no one was saying anything, so I just said it was cruel.”

“Are you actually sorry,” a small, offended laugh escaped Celeste, “or are you only saying that because you feel you are supposed to be?”

“I _am_ sorry.” Maki glared at her, let down by her own inability to invoke the right feelings. “You said you’d never be like Kaede. Me neither. She’s too emotional, but it’s better to be that way than to be numb like I am.” Maybe Celeste should’ve talked to Kaito or Shuichi instead.

“It seems it is better in some instances to bubble up with emotions and other times, it is best to shut them off.” Normally, Celeste thought it was better to keep everything hidden like Kyoko did, but she longed for a genuine connection with someone, which she now realized couldn’t be done without exposing oneself to vulnerability. “The best gamblers are unreadable and I would assume the best assassins are those who cannot break under pressure— who cannot feel anything towards their targets.” She walked up to one of the walls that were lined with guns, getting a closer look at how different they all were. “Are you trained in all of these weapons?”

“Yeah. What I use depends on what they tell me. I’d rather use a crossbow.” Maki lifted the half-made weapon. “They don’t make noise and I don’t have to get too close to see them die. Knives are okay too, I guess; messy but reliable.” She spoke like she was giving a warning for Celeste to not use anything else if she were in the same situation.

Celeste paced herself to the center of the lab that displayed intricately designed knives, examining them with her hands behind her back as if she were at a museum. “These appear to be masterfully forged. Much care has been placed into the art of the blades.”

“Yeah. They’d be kinda cool if they weren’t meant to kill.”

“I disagree. There is a morbid allure to these kinds of things, much like World War II artillery,” she reached out and pulled in one particular knife, using the tip of her finger to bring the blade closer, “or Medieval torture devices—”

“Don’t touch that!” Maki cautioned, sprinting over and snatching the knife away from Celeste. “They’re really sharp. Don’t just touch whatever you want; you can hurt yourself.”

“I only meant to observe.”

“Yeah, until you get cut and start whimpering like a baby. Be careful.” She placed the knife back where it belonged. Even though she lied about being the Ultimate Child Caregiver, there was still an automatic protective side to Maki. She wasn’t warm or nurturing, but she wasn’t a monster; she cared about other people’s safety. Her lie didn’t come from nowhere.

“If you do not mind me asking, how did you get into this field?” Celeste wondered.

“...Do you really wanna know? It might forever change how you see the world.”

“I already know that the world is corrupt and life is meaningless, if that is what you mean. I doubt anything you say will be particularly surprising to me; I am only curious one falls onto such a dark path. However, I do appreciate your attempts to spare my innocence. It is too bad it has already been spoiled.”

“...Have you ever heard of the Holy Salvation Society?”

Celeste shook her head.

“Good. Then they’re doing their job right.” She returned to the crossbow. “It would be pretty bad if people knew about a cult that trains assassins.”

“A cult, you say?” Celeste leaned onto the table, intrigued. “Most people who are a part of a cult are not aware that is the type of organization they have joined.”

“I didn’t join and the assassins aren’t the devout ones. We’re just staff. The leader of the Holy Salvation Society came to my orphanage when I was a kid and scouted us to see who could be the best assassin. Actually, that’s why they made the orphanage in the first place.”

“Unfortunate that people prey on the vulnerable members of our society.”

“Hm,” Maki hesitated. It looked like she had never thought of herself as being vulnerable, or at least never heard someone else say it out loud before. “That’s just how it is,” she accepted.

“And you were the best out of the bunch?”

“No. There was another girl that had more talent than me.” Maki clutched the now finished crossbow in her hands, recalling a painful memory. “She was my friend; we used to wear matching outfits, play hide and seek, you know, regular kid stuff. We used to play house a lot.”

Celeste fully sat down on the table. “This was at an orphanage, so I would imagine your friends were more like siblings, yes?”

Maki frowned like a machine trying to imitate human behavior. It was the best her face could express as her emotions had been run dry. She certainly wasn’t born as empty as she was now. “I volunteered to be chosen so she wouldn’t have to. I didn’t care how talented she was, I didn’t want her living the life I’m living now. She was a good person… and it didn’t even matter. She got hit by a car like an idiot and died anyway. Now I’m here for no reason. I’m killing people for no reason.” Maki walked over to the shooting range on the far side of the research lab and held the crossbow up, taking aim at one of the moving targets. “Those are the worst people in this world; people who kill for no reason.”

How was a bad person even defined? Celestia Ludenberg was evil simply due to her deceit and selfishness, but even though Maki was a murderer, Celeste wouldn’t consider Maki a bad person. Murderers were supposed to automatically be bad people, but that didn’t apply to her. Maki may be cold and unempathetic, but she still cared about people, or at least didn’t want to see them get hurt. Initially, she didn’t like Celeste because of how inconsiderate and privileged she was. That meant she had some morals on how to be a decent human being. While Maki claimed to not feel emotions, she very obviously did; she was apologetic for not being available to console Celeste in the way she wanted, got angry when Celeste challenged and conflicted with her, and was capable of making jokes. Unfunny jokes, but jokes nonetheless. Her words contracted reality, as it seemed more like Maki experienced negative emotions more often than positive ones. That wasn’t a bad person, that was someone who was depressed and regularly stressed out.

When she put it in that perspective, Celeste was the same way. She wouldn’t go as far as to call herself depressed but she wasn’t as happy as she could be. When not with her team, her new friends, there was a constant stress that lingered and reinfected her, even if nothing bad was happening. It was always there, waiting on the sidelines for something small to latch onto. That was why she took it so harshly when she lost her first bet with Kaede, why she freaked out over her otaku secret being discovered, and why she panicked and scolded Kaede for having the luxury of comfort. Even with the person that made her the happiest, stress was what kept her from enjoying life.

It didn’t make sense. Celeste was away from her family and away from poverty, the two things that strained her existence. That was in the past, so why did it sometimes feel like she was back in her homelife even when she was gone? She created a new personality to distance herself from the past, but it felt like every time that persona was challenged, Celeste felt the same level of stress she constantly had when she was back at home. Why did small things set her off in a way she couldn’t control?

Was it the same for Maki? If it was the same and none of those things made Maki a bad person, then it didn’t make Celeste a bad person either.

Maki fired the crossbow onto one of the human-shaped targets, hitting it directly where the heart would be.

Nothing felt right. Celeste had spent the majority of her life believing she was evil and had already accepted it. She wasn’t going to go through the emotional turmoil to change her beliefs and her behavior. It was just too much.

Pulling out the arrow, Maki droned, “I wonder what my parents are doing right now, if they’re even alive. I doubt they’d be proud of me. Sometimes, I think about if they had kept me, where I’d be. I wouldn’t be an assassin and I wouldn’t be here, but then what? Maybe I’d just be a regular school girl. Maybe my personality would be different. Maybe I’d be as sensitive as Kaede or Mikan.”

“It has been a debate for a while about how much of us is nature and how much is nurture,” Celeste replied. “How much does the environment we live in impact our sense of selves and how we see the world?”

“If they’re alive… I hope they’re okay,” she quietly confessed, reloading the crossbow. “I used to wish that my parents were rich and famous and they had to get rid of me because I was the product of an affair or something. I would hope that one day, they’d find me and take me home.”

“That is what you dream of?”

“...I don’t think they’d like me if they met me now. There’s no point in dreaming, anyway.”

“No point in dreaming?” Celeste covered her mouth in shock. “Why, dreams are meant to keep us lasting until tomorrow.” She wanted to give Maki a proper example. “My dream is to live in a gothic, European castle surrounded by vampire servant-slash-bodyguards, hmhm.”

“That’s a… weird dream. Pretty ambitious.”

Celeste lectured, “It would not be a dream if it were not ambitious. But it is not something I aspire to, it is something I _will_ get.” That was, in her mind, the only way to keep the stress away.

“Whatever.” Maki fired again, hitting the next target in the head.

“So, there must be something you wish for, something that keeps you living?” It took a while for Celeste to realize that Maki’s silence wasn’t her thinking of an answer, but that she had none. “...Nothing?”

Maki sighed and shook her head, realizing that her lack of an answer was worrisome.

“You do not fear death?”

“No. It happens to everyone.”

“In my opinion,” Celeste stood up and approached Maki, “most people are not afraid of death, but fear leaving something behind or having unfinished business.”

“There’s nothing I want to do,” Maki remarked.

“Well, come up with something,” she demanded. Celeste didn’t want Maki to have nothing to live for, but there was also nothing worse than someone without drive. She had grown sick of seeing her father not striving to make their family any better and her mother settling for the little they had.

“Any dream I come up with will be impossible.”

Maki lacked any motivation to change her circumstance, likely something she learned from her rigorous assassin training to keep her obedient. “Everything is impossible if you do not try. Even if there is a one percent chance of success, it is still a chance. It is better than no chance. So, consider something worth dreaming for.”

Maki dropped her arm, taking a moment to think. “I dunno. If I just had a box where everything was quiet and I didn’t have to think about anything, that would be nice.” She huffed, understanding what she just said. “I guess that’s just a house. Sure. A house where I can have my plants and not worry about anything else.” She held up the crossbow again. “I guess that would get lonely after a while. Living with a friend would be okay, I guess.”

“...That is it?”

“What do you mean, ‘That’s it?’”

“I wish for a house too, but I at least know the aesthetics. You can do better than that.” Celeste held her nose up as she scoffed. “At _least_ have a secret tomb.”

Maki relaxed a little, holding her arms up in bewilderment and narrowed her eyes. “How can you tell me to dream of something and then say it’s not good enough?”

“A dream should be something almost unachievable.”

“That _is_ unachievable for me.”

“You are in Hope’s Peak Academy. You have been guaranteed success.”

“Success in what? Success that I’ll be an assassin for the rest of my life? Who cares if this is Hope’s Peak Academy, this place sucks.” She turned to face Celeste. “I’m not that good of an assassin if they know I exist. And if they know who I am, why did they let me come here? If they know about me, they have to know about the people I work for. Why didn’t they stop them? Why didn’t they stop _me?_ Instead of preventing deaths, they’re encouraging me to get better at killing people. Even if my identity is kept a secret while I’m here, how does helping a murderer inspire hope in the country? Who am I giving hope to?”

They were difficult questions that Celeste didn’t know the answer to.

Maki sighed. “...I think I’m gonna leave at the end of the year.”

“What?” Celeste asked sharply. “Why?”

“Do you know what your practical exam is going to be?”

“No, but I can make a reasonable assumption that I am to win a gambling tournament to pass and continue attending school here.”

“...What do you think I’m gonna have to do?” Maki looked at Celeste with cold eyes, her face consumed with dread.

“But… but if you leave, you will never see the rest of us again.” Celeste knew she sounded selfish, but Maki valued her friends. She couldn’t just _leave_ them.

“It’s a sacrifice I have to make. I have two choices: pass my exam and stay another two years, but have to kill more people than I already do, or refuse to hurt anyone else and get expelled.”

“Surely, there is another option?”

“I can turn myself in and go to prison for the rest of my life. Though… I don’t think my life would last that long. My organization wouldn’t like the world knowing they exist. They’d send someone to kill me.” She looked down at the floor. “That’s probably what’s going to happen. As soon as I’m out of here and don’t have Hope’s Peak Academy’s immunity, even if I stay until graduation, I’m going to prison. I think Kyoko knows. She’ll turn me in.” Maki sighed. “I only have about three more years to live. No matter what, I’m going to die before I’m eighteen.” She said it matter-of-fact, as she had already accepted it. She didn’t like the conclusion she had drawn, but Maki must’ve already shed enough tears to not let any accumulate now. “Do you see why my dream is impossible, now?"

“You cannot run away?”

“There’s nowhere to go. Kyoko has Hope’s Peak Academy’s resources on her side. Her dad’s the headmaster. She’ll find me if the Holy Salvation Society doesn’t find me first.”

Celeste and Kyoko’s relationship was already damaged. There was no way she could sweet-talk Kyoko into leaving Maki alone. Things did seem hopeless, but it only _seemed_ to be. “There is always another option, Maki.”

“There isn’t—”

Celeste pinched her fingers together. “There is always, _always_ another option.” That was why she became a gambler. It may not have been an option the average person would turn to, but desperation created endless possibilities. There had to be something to help Maki. “All you wish for is peace, correct?”

“...Yeah.”

“Hm.” She knew what to do. “Then I would like you to imagine something. I have already described my dream of a gothic castle to you, but I would like for you to truly imagine it.” Celeste closed her eyes and lifted her hands. “Picture the black architecture, the dark windows, the extravagant door knocker. The greenery outside should look damp and rotting but that does not mean the ones in the garden in the courtyard should be as dreary, yes?”

“I dunno.”

Celeste opened her eyes. “One needs a gardener to attend to such a garden.”

“...Yeah?”

“While gothic castles are often suspected to house the demons of society, that does not mean they cannot be peaceful places. There is almost nothing as peaceful as a garden. You should know this.”

“...What are you saying?”

“Once I get my castle, be my gardener. Now, all of my servants are also my bodyguards, but I do not suspect that will be very hard for you. I do not gamble often; most of my time is spent on the mundane and most of your time would be in the tranquility of nature.”

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Maki lifted the crossbow again, readying herself to fire. “The cult would go after me.”

“Not if they sold you.”

“...What?”

“You are worth a lot of money. I have a lot of money. I would imagine you are currently worth a few million. With the right people playing the right game, I can make that in a night.” It was a bit of a stretch but the numbers in her bank account had been rising exponentially. It wasn’t impossible for her to make that much in a night.

“You’re gonna _buy_ me?”

Celeste held her hands to her chest, dejected. “I did not expect human trafficking to appear on my resume, but the criminal life takes you in all sorts of directions. And do not worry; while I will purchase you as an assassin, I do not have any plans of making you that kind of work.” She pressed her palms together and smiled. “My beautiful garden is more important than anyone’s life.”

“That won’t stop the police from getting me.”

“I am insulted that you would believe I would allow police to do whatever they wanted. Once again, I have a lot of money. One can get the average pig to turn the other cheek at the right price. Even if they did find us, Shuichi is our friend; I am sure he can be of assistance,” she guaranteed. “I also happen to know of a peculiar rumor regarding Kirumi. I am on good terms with her, so if it is true, I speculate she could be of some use. Fuyuhiko, Byakuya, Mondo, even; all people I can send some kind words to make this arrangement possible.”

Maki squeezed the crossbow without firing. Her arm shook with how tight she was holding it. “...Don’t get my hopes up, Celeste.”

“This is Hope’s Peak Academy. If it cannot inspire hope in others, perhaps it can within yourself.”

Maki gritted her teeth. “Don’t lie to me.”

“When it comes to my castle, I do not play,” she said seriously.

Maki released her arm, letting the crossbow dangle at her side. With knitted eyebrows, she looked up at Celeste, trying to find a reason to not believe her.

“If everything goes well,” Celeste confided, “you will never have to pick up a crossbow, knife, or gun again. It will not be easy, but it is possible.”

Maki looked down and pouted. Her eyes shifted as she imagined all the possible ways everything could go wrong.

“Maki,” Celeste placed a hand on Maki’s shoulder. “As long as you are my friend, I will make your dream come true. You have my word.”

Celeste was her last chance for peace. Once she realized this, Maki gave her a light smile. “...Okay.”

“Okay…?”

“Okay,” Maki said with more confidence. “I’ll be your bodyguard-gardener.”

Celeste blinked. “You are— you are serious?”

“Why are you surprised? You convinced me.”

“O-Oh, it is just,” Celeste took a breath, “no one has… no one has ever said yes before.” She smiled genuinely as she felt her eyes burn with tears, finally feeling like she was making real progress.

“Well, duh,” Maki crossed her arms, quickly wiping the grin off of her face. “It’s a stupid thing to ask someone. I’m only agreeing ‘cause I don’t have anything to lose. Plus, if we’re doing this, then I’d really be the Ultimate Child Caregiver.”

Celeste rolled her eyes at Maki’s _unfunny_ joke. “You must take this seriously. Our dreams are merged now, so you must do everything in your power to ensure my success. If I fail, then you will fail as well. And if you fail...” Celeste didn’t want to think of that outcome. “I will be down a gardener.”

“Right. And you better not do anything stupid, either. I don’t wanna see your name come up on my pager before we do this.” Maki’s eyes widened as she realized something. “Hey. This isn’t an elaborate plan to keep me from killing you, is it? Because if I find out it’s all a lie—”

Celeste desperately put her hands up. “I am serious! Not everything I say is a lie! Am I not allowed to be genuine _sometimes?!”_

Maki breathed. “Okay. I was just making sure. I trust you. It all just sounds too good to be true.”

“Of course.” Celeste happily held her fingers to her cheeks. “Oh, I cannot wait! I am getting closer and closer to my castle and vampire harem.”

“...Your what?”

“My vampire harem. I will have all of my servants dress as vampires and command them to fulfill every one of my desires.”

“Hey!” Maki panicked. “I didn’t agree to that!”

“Nononono,” Celeste reassured, “not you. You are a special case. But I hope you do not mind.”

Maki gave a look of disgust. “...Just keep them away from me.”

“None of them shall speak with you.”

Maki pressed two of her fingers into her temple. “Ugh. I’d rather not see anyone in a relationship. Like Kaede. Kaede manages it well. I never see the two of them together. I guess they’re really private.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know, Kaede and Leon.”

Celeste leaned in. “...Excuse me?”

“Kaede’s dating Leon.” Maki said it so calmly that it was implied Celeste was supposed to know this. “At least I think so. She told me she was going on a date with him over a month ago and I haven’t heard anything about it since. I feel like she would’ve told us if things didn’t go well, so I’m assuming they’re still dating.”

Celeste did a double-take. _“Leon?!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psst, it's PTSD, not narcissism.


	27. But There Was Only One Bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The longest chapter so far and it's The Chapter.

_Ding Dong Bing Bong_

“Rise and shine, ursine!”

“This is an official Hope’s Peak Academy announcement,” Monotaro introduced.

Monophanie stepped up in front of everyone. “The weekend’s finally here! Let’s welcome this beautiful Saturday morning with Sun Salutations.” She outstretched her arms and took in a deep, animatronic breath. “Let peace and tranquility envelope you—”

Monokid played a loud riff on his guitar, too loud for eight in the morning. “It’s party tiiiiiime!”

Monodam started pumping his arms back and forth, simulating krumping. “TIME-TO-GET-MY-GROOVE-ON.”

“Not _now,_ youse guys!” Monosuke adjusted his glasses before flipping pages on a clipboard. “The party ain’t startin’ til six tonight!”

“That’s right!” Monokid confirmed. “Tonight at six, Hope’s Peak Academy students can attend a dance party at the gym. Snacks will be provided!”

“And if you dance with each other,” Monophanie interjected, “leave space for peace and tranquility!”

“So long! Bear-well!”

 _Finally!_ Kaede had been itching all year for the class representatives to throw a party for everyone. She loved dancing! Even better, she might get to dance with Celeste!

And the rest of her friends, of course!

...But really she wanted to be with Celeste.

She excitedly texted the group chat.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** PARTAAAAAAY!!!

 **Kaito Momota:** untz untz untz untz

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Untz untz untz untz

 **Shuichi Saihara:** I hope itll be fun!

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** I’ve been waiting all year for a party!

 **Maki Harukawa:** It’s been five months.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Forever!

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** i cant wait to dance with gonta and all of you!! i hope no one makes fun of me （/｡＼)

 **Kaito Momota:** were nto gonna make fun of u miakn and if any 1 does theyll have 2 go thru me first!

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Me too! >:)

 **Maki Harukawa:** You guys have fun. I’m not going.

 **Kaito Momota:** wat

 **Maki Harukawa:** I don’t like parties.

 **Kaito Momota:** wat no maki roll ur goin. u dont gotta dance just be there

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I agree with Maki. I have no interest in attending the event.

 _What?!_ No way Kaede was going to let Celeste escape. Parties were Kaede’s element and she didn’t want Celeste to miss out on the fun.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Nooooooooo!

 **Shuichi Saihara:** I dont think the dance is really about dancing, its about having fun with everyone.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I do not find being in a hot gymnasium with fifty people gyrating their bodies to the unsophisticated music of current times to be fun.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** What if i begged

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Please

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Please

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Please

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Please

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** DONT DO THIS AGAIN

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Lol jk but seriously i want you to be there!

 **Kaito Momota:** it wont be as fun if we know u 2 are just moping in ur rooms

 **Maki Harukawa:** Fine.

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** are you going??????

 **Maki Harukawa:** Yeah, sure. Don’t expect me to do anything.

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Yay! What about you Celeste?

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I find moping to be rather enjoyable. Though, I much prefer brooding. Perhaps I will contemplate humanity’s existence.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** This is a joke. I neither mope nor brood. I will be resting peacefully in my lair. :-)

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Nooooo celeste thats no fun. i want you to have fun like the rest of us

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Unfortunate. I do not enjoy crowds.

There had to be something Kaede could do to get Celeste to party with her, but, dammit, how was she going to do that without being forceful and demanding? She was trying to be a better person and real begging, unlike the joke she made earlier, wasn’t good. Kaede had to come up with a plan.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Okay but what if it was just like you and me

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I am confused.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Like what if we had our own little party

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Like a sleepover! :0

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** i thought you were really excited about the party? (゜-゜)

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Yeah you seem like the most excited out of all of us.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Looool its fine really! i just dont want celeste to be alone when everyone else is having fun

It was a lie, she _really_ wanted to go to that freaking party, but she was willing to sacrifice it so Celeste wouldn’t miss out.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** A sleepover? Such a silly thing.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** With me? You are serious? Surely, there is someone else you would much rather have a sleepover with.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Im serious! you can come over and we can watch a movie and talk for a long time and listen to the music you want idk

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Didn’t you say you once throw up on someone at a sleepover?

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Shut up! I was sick! Lol

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Aside from the vomit, I must admit I am intrigued. I accept.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Yeaaaah!

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Be a good host. I will arrive at your dorm at 6 pm.

 **Maki Harukawa:** If that’s the case, then I don’t have to go to the party.

 **Kaito Momota:** yes u do!

 **Maki Harukawa:** >:T

Wow, Celeste was a lot more willing to accept her offer than she thought. Maybe it was because they were close friends, now.

Friends. They were just friends. Kaede had to remember that. It was just a small sleepover with her friend. Nothing special was going to happen. At _most_ , maybe they’d share secrets. Though, Celeste already shared something pretty big with her and she seemed reluctant to bring it up. For the past few weeks, whenever Kaede would try to privately talk about it, Celeste would politely change the subject. If Kaede insisted, Celeste would harshly change the subject. Eventually, Kaede stopped asking, but it stayed at the back of her mind. Maybe this sleepover could be enough to get Celeste comfortable enough to talk about her parents. If not, that was okay, too. As long as Celeste was comfortable, Kaede would be happy.

But she’ll be even happier when she got to see Celeste in her jammies! Even though Kaede had seen Celeste momentarily in a nightgown, she couldn’t help but get infatuated by the thought of Celeste in a pajama set with sleepy pandas on them! No, Celeste would have one with cute little bats. Daaaaw!

Not paying attention as she got out of bed, Kaede’s foot caught air as she slipped on one of the many pieces of sheet music scattered across her floor. Rubbing her aching back, she looked up at all of the nonsense on her drawers and end of her bed, too. Shoot! Celeste would hate the mess! She had to clean up!

After getting ready for the day and nearly forgetting to eat breakfast, Kaede brought an upright vacuum from Kirumi’s lab to her room. That’s right, a _vacuum._ She wasn’t just going to tidy up, she was going to _clean._ She cranked up a funk playlist on her speaker and got to work.

Pretty soon, her room looked so clean that it hardly looked lived in. Of course, ‘soon’ translated to a couple of hours in Easily Distracted Kaede time, but she did it! Celeste would be none the wiser. Kaede pulled out a notepad and pen, wrote down ‘Clean Room,’ and checked it off. Oooo, it felt nice to do that. She should put more on the checklist.

What did people normally do at a sleepover?

Games! Gotta have games, especially for Celeste. She wrote down ‘Find a game to play.’

Movies! There were tons of movies in the AV room, even more on streaming services on her television. It would probably be best to pick a movie together. She wrote down ‘Don’t forget a movie! :P’

At some point, she’d need to shower during the sleepover. Normally, Kaede would shower, wrap herself in a towel, and get dressed in her room, so she’d just have to bring all her clothes into the bathroom with her. But Kaede had a crappy memory that relied heavily on routine. She knew she’d mess up somehow and the last thing she wanted was to accidentally be in a towel or half-naked in front of Celeste. Ah! She wrote down ‘SHOWER BEFORE SHE GETS HERE!!’

Okay, what else? Sleep. Gotta sleep at some point. As she wrote that down—

Uh oh.

Sleep _where?_ Looking at her bed, it _could_ fit two people, but was it okay for the two of them to sleep in the same bed?

...She’d figure that out later.

Unexpectedly, she got a text.

 **Leon Kuwata:** Yoooo me and ibuki wanna play gave you everything by the interrupters but we need someone on the piano. wanna join in?

Now that she was on good terms with him, Kaede didn’t even have to think about it.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Hell yeah!

She put her notepad into her backpack and ran to her lab.

Kaede didn’t know how much time passed since she always got super into playing music, but she, Ibuki, and Leon eventually decided to stop. When she did, she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that she was in the middle of doing something.

Oh well.

She returned to her room, plopped onto her bed, and turned on the TV, flipping through channels in search of something to feed her bored brain. After swapping channels for who knew how long, Kaede eventually found a show where real estate agents would redesign a house and occupants could choose to keep the house or list it for an _expensive_ price. It must be fun to build houses. Kaede enjoyed assembling furniture when her parents bought new ones for their home, but as soon as a hammer was involved, she had to keep her pianist fingers safe—

Wait. _List?_

Didn’t Kaede have a list—

Oh, god, the sleepover!

She rummaged through her backpack and yanked out her notepad, reading the list she made. The clock read 5:15, she only had forty-five minutes before Celeste got there! How long was it going to take her to shower? A normal shower only took fifteen minutes, but if she wanted to wash her hair too, that was going to be thirty minutes. She didn’t want to have dirty hair around Celeste! And did she want to shave her legs, too? That would take more time! If she just wore pajama pants, it would be fine.

But, shoot, if she got in the shower now, how long was it going to take for her to pick out a perfect game for them to play? She had to go all the way to the rec room and if she ran, she’d be all sweaty and need to shower again. But if she got the game now, what if Celeste showed up while she was in the shower? She couldn’t answer the door _naked!_

As her cogs in her brain began to smoke with too many things to think about, Kaede looked back and forth between her door and the bathroom. “Uh, uh, uuuuh…!” Dammit, Kaede, make a decision! This was life or death! Kinda!

She ran out the door and to the main building’s rec room. Her heart was pounding with nervousness and bad cardio, but she was determined to pick a good game. She was going to be a great sleepover host!

When Kaede’s eyes fell to the perfect game, she pointed at it, despite no one else being in the room.

 _Monopoly_.

She grabbed it, checked it off her list, and dashed back to her room. Luckily, she was able to power through her shower with enough time to relax.

Except she didn’t relax. Even with her oversized girl-band t-shirt and comfortable sweatpants, excitement bubbled up in her chest and butterflies tickled her stomach as it did right before a big recital. Aaaaah!

Her heart jumped at the gentle knock on her door. Okay! Here we go!

She opened the door to reveal Celeste in a— _gasp!_ A soft, black pajama shirt with a white collar, black shorts, and black knee socks. She looked so cozy! While one hand was behind her back, the other held a small, black bag that likely carried necessities. She didn’t wear her hair extensions, nor was she wearing make-up or red contacts. Her skin glowed and her hair had a pleasant shine, especially the ends of her usually straight bangs that now had a light wave.

“Good eeeevening,” Celeste greeted.

“HIYA!”

She jumped at Kaede’s explosion, blinking before ignoring it. “May I come in?”

“Of course!” Kaede stepped aside, letting Celeste pass her. When she did, a gust of rose and vanilla shot through her nose, curling her lips into a smile. “You smell good,” she blurted out. Ah! Creepy! Don’t say weird stuff like that!

Thank god Celeste chuckled, amused by Kaede’s awkwardness. “Thank you, I just showered.” She turned to reveal the hand behind her back held a small, orange jar. “I humbly bring you a gift.” It wasn’t just a jar, it was—

“A candle?” Kaede asked, taking it.

“It is pumpkin spice scented.”

“Pumpkin spice?!” She slammed the candle to her nose, taking it all in. “I _love_ pumpkin spice!”

“Yes, I figured. You seem like someone who would.”

“How did you even get this? And so quickly! Pumpkin spice stuff doesn’t come out for another two weeks!”

Celeste waved her hand into the air as if casting a spell. “I used the magic of the vaaampiiiire, dear. And same-day shipping.” She took a look around the room as she removed her shoes. “Hm. Did you clean before I got here? From my time in your lab, your room is uncharacteristically neat.”

“Nope.” Kaede placed the candle down on her desk and put her hands on her hips. “I told you, that was all Ibuki.” She gave a big grin. “My room is always this clean!”

“Is it, now? Is it because you always have a vacuum from Kirumi’s lab in here?” She pointed to the vacuum in the corner of the room that Kaede forgot to put away. Shoot! With the embarrassed look on Kaede’s face, Celeste laughed. “I am flattered that you spent all day cleaning for me.”

“I didn’t spend _all_ day cleaning. Ibuki, Leon, and I played music together.”

Celeste paused as she put her bag on Kaede’s desk. “...Leon?”

“Yeah. And Ibuki.” Celeste didn’t look happy, though Kaede didn’t know why. “Do you not like Leon or something?”

She turned and smiled. “He rarely comes to mind. Though, I suppose you two _are_ quite… similar. Hmhm.” Kaede couldn’t place why, but even though she smiled, she seemed pretty pissed off. Celeste shrugged, changing the subject. “I spent a majority of _my_ time today having a _lovely_ conversation with Korekiyo.”

“... _Korekiyo?”_ Kaede imagined the two of them speaking over tea, him laughing his weird laugh and Celeste giggling with her hand over her mouth.

 _Giggling._ With _Korekiyo._

“Yes. Korekiyo,” Celeste reiterated. “We have similar interests and styles—”

“What’d you two talk about?” Kaede asked, crossing her arms.

Celeste tilted her head. “Do you care?”

“Nah, I mean, you two can talk about whatever you want. I was just wondering.”

“What did you play with Leon? You listen to _punk_ music?”

Kaede didn’t know why Celeste cared so much about Leon, but more importantly, she didn’t answer the question. She continued. “Were you _just_ talking with Korekiyo?”

“What else do you think I would be doing with him?” Celeste smirked.

Kaede didn’t want to accuse her of what she was thinking. “I dunno.” She pretended like she didn’t care. “But I’m glad you’re having fun talking to people!” With her arms still crossed, she moved her hands to push up what little biceps she had, the biceps she knew Korekiyo didn’t have. “But you’re with me now and _we’re_ gonna have fun.”

Celeste raised her eyebrows. “...Training has been doing wonders for you, I see.”

Heh. She noticed. “You think so? My arms are still kinda flabby, but check out these pythons!” She flexed her biceps. “Hoo-rah!”

“Oooo! Hee hee!” Celeste giggled as she squeezed Kaede’s muscle. _Heh._

“You’re pretty small; I bet I could pick you up!” she half-joked.

“Oh? Do you think so?” Celeste asked coyly.

Well, now that Celeste was inviting it… “Hell yeah! C’mere!”

“Oho! Okie…!” Without hesitation, Celeste wrapped one arm around Kaede’s neck, prompting Kaede to put one of her arms around Celeste’s waist. “Are you ready, dear?”

“Uh-huh. Three, two, one…!” When Celeste jumped up, Kaede quickly put her other arm under Celeste’s legs, holding her bridal style. Celeste was easy to hold, but a hundred pounds wasn’t a walk in the park to lift. She took a wide stance to keep balance.

“Ah!” Celeste laughed as she wrapped her other arm around Kaede.

“See…?” Kaede staggered. “I told you I could pick you up…!” Korekiyo could never hold Celeste like this!

For a moment, they looked into each other’s eyes.

Celeste quickly turned her face away from Kaede, her smile fading. “We cannot stay like this forever.”

“R-Right.” Kaede, choosing not to throw Celeste like an Olympic powerlifter slamming their bar to the ground, sat down on her bed, allowing Celeste to safely get down.

“What will we do now? The night is fetally young.”

Great question! Kaede hopped up and took the game off of her desk. “I brought Monopoly.”

Celeste’s eyes widened in excitement. “ _Monopoly?_ What an excellent choice, dear! I love Monopoly.”

“Yeah, I thought so!” Realizing her desk was too small for the two of them to play, Kaede set the game up on her bed.

“I must say I am skilled when it comes to strategic games such as this one,” Celeste bragged. “Outwitting my opponent and making cutthroat, risky decisions is my specialty. And, of course, there is nothing more appealing than forcing someone to give me all of the money in their bank account. One of life’s greatest pleasures…”

“So you think you’re gonna win?” Kaede bantered.

“Why would I not?”

“‘Cus I’ve never lost a game of Monopoly.”

“Neither have I.”

Kaede smirked, getting hyped up for the game. “We’ll change that.” Once determined Kaede had her mind set, there was no stopping her. She was in game mode, now. She was _going_ to win and she was going to make sure Celeste knew that. “When you start landing on my houses, you’re gonna _beg_ me to loan you money so you can keep your businesses,” she said playfully.

“Oh?” Celeste toyed with her hair. “The Aries feels challenged and shows off her extraordinary horns.” She giggled. “But will they be enough to battle the trickster Sagittarius…?”

The game went on for a little over two hours when—

“WHAT?!” Celeste barked when she landed on one of Kaede’s hotels.

“Do you not have enough to pay for your hotel visit?” Kaede ran her thumb through her stack of money. “Dang, dude,” she grinned.

“How did…” Celeste’s eye twitched at the board, specifically at her lack of available properties to sell to keep herself afloat. “You beat me? _Again?!_ How?!”

The answer was obvious. “Uh, I’m awesome…?”

“Hmph. Fine. I accept defeat.”

“Heh. Hell yeah!” As Celeste started putting the pieces away, Kaede thought of how much fun she was having, but how much _more_ fun she could be having if they went to the party. She sent Shuichi a text to get an update.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Hows the party going?

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Sonia is insane

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Lol what

After a few moments, Shuichi sent a short video focusing on Sonia, Ibuki, and Leon aggressively headbanging to a hard rock song one of them likely requested. While Leon was on beat, Ibuki had speed on her side and Sonia was the most aggressive, her pristine hair flying back and forth so much, the camera couldn’t capture her face. The camera panned to Shuichi’s left, showing Maki sitting at his table with her hand on her forehead, looking at them as she shook her head in disapproval.

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Looool

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Ikr?

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Everyones having fun huh?

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Maki and I havent done anything other than people watch but I think shes having fun. Rantaros a really good dancer too. Hows the sleepover?

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** Sweet we just finished playing monopoly. i won >:)

 **Shuichi Saihara:** Nice!

Kaede couldn’t stop watching the video. Everyone seemed so happy; she was missing out on what felt like the biggest party of the year! Even though it wasn’t her favorite genre of music or dance moves, she wanted to be there and witness her classmates having fun. She stared longingly at her phone.

“You know, punks and goths are not _that_ different,” Celeste voiced. She sounded insulted like Kaede had done something wrong. She crossed her arms and stuck her nose into the air. “Both alternative movements come from the same thing: the world is a disconcerting place. Punks simply decided to harness their anger to fix it while goths accepted it and found it beautiful.”

“Huh? Oh,” Kaede turned her phone, “did you see?”

“Yes, I did. I did not mean to pry but the overwhelming yearning on your face got me curious. You must really miss—” She twisted her wrist, passing off what she was going to say with a wide grin. “Hm!”

Celeste must’ve meant she didn’t like that Kaede so desperately wanted to go to the party. She probably thought she’d _rather_ be there than with her. “Nonono, I don’t need to be there! We’ve got a better party here! Actually—” Kaede put down her phone and hopped up. “Let’s dance! We don’t need them!”

“U-Us?” Celeste blinked, holding a hand to her chest.

“Yeah, c’mon! I’ve got a lot of music we can dance to.”

“Oh,” Celeste gave out a nervous laugh. “I am not one for dancing.”

“Not even a lil’ shimmy?” Kaede playfully wiggled her shoulders.

“No, no, as I said, I find this generation’s movements… immodest.”

“Mmm… I think you’re just insecure about your dancing skills,” Kaede teased.

Celeste scoffed, “I am _not!_ I will let you know I am _very_ good at the waltz.”

“Alright,” Kaede motioned for Celeste to stand up. “Show me.”

“Show you? I— what do you mean?”

Dashing over to her speaker and collection of CDs, Kaede picked out Chopin’s _Three Waltzes_ and played them. “I took ballroom dance lessons a few years ago. I know how to waltz.”

“...Is there anything you do not know? How do you have the time to practice the piano and learn so many things?”

Kaede shrugged. “I dunno. If I wanna learn something, I learn it. If I can play waltzes on the piano, I thought I should learn how to dance it, too. Now, come here and show me your moves!”

“Ah, well…” Celeste looked away. “I-I am a very old vampire and I have not waltzed in _decades,_ dear.”

“That’s fine, I’m a little rusty too,” Kaede played along, holding out her hand.

“...Are you sure it is okay for the two of us to be dancing together?” Celeste hesitated.

“Oh, um…” Maybe it was a little weird for two girls to be dancing together, but she _really_ wanted to dance with her. “It’s just you and me. No one can see us.”

“You are not worried that a certain _someone_ will get jealous?”

Who, Korekiyo? Now _Kaede_ was the one getting jealous. “He doesn’t have to know. You and I are just friends, anyway! I can’t dance with my friend?”

“If you are sure it is okay,” Celeste took her hand, “then I accept.” She allowed Kaede to pull her up off the bed and into the empty space in Kaede’s room. Good thing she cleaned and made space! After a deep breath, Celeste slowly entwined one hand with Kaede’s and gently slid the other onto her shoulder, letting Kaede place her free hand on Celeste’s back. Kaede could feel Celeste’s back tense up at her touch and her own body felt a little stiff as she realized this was probably the closest they had physically ever been.

“Nervous?” Kaede asked, projecting.

“Of course not. Now, lead. I _am_ a lady after all.”

On Kaede’s forward step, Celeste mirrored by moving back. With a side-step, Celeste countered. They continued moving in a simple box, Kaede figuring this was the best thing to do as it was the most basic movement of waltzing, assuring that Celeste felt secure with the motion. Initially, Celeste felt a little offbeat but soon was able to keep up. While she was _definitely_ lying about being good at waltzing, she never looked down at her feet in a lack of confidence; Celeste’s brown, intense eyes never steered away from Kaede’s as if she was reading her mind to know Kaede’s next motion.

And Kaede kept her eyes on Celeste.

Unwelcome urges began to bubble up inside Kaede’s chest; she wanted Celeste closer. It wouldn’t be _that_ bad if Kaede pulled her in closer, right? Giving in, she did so, now having their bodies pressed together. Celeste’s eyes widened a little at the gesture and as her lips curled in a slight, surprised smile, her breathing rate increased.

“This feels quite scandalous, dear,” she whispered. Now that they were closer, Celeste’s hand on Kaede’s shoulder felt unnatural, so she moved her soft hand to Kaede’s nape.

“Maybe if I were a boy. But we’re both girls so it’s fine, right? We’re just having fun.”

Celeste seemed reluctant. “...Yes, just having fun.”

They had only been dancing for a few moments when Kaede felt their enclosed hands start to slide. Someone’s hand was starting to clam up, though it wasn’t clear if it was Kaede’s or Celeste’s, who must’ve felt it too, otherwise she wouldn’t have tightened her grip. Trying to distract her from the slimy sensation, Kaede spoke. “I played these Waltzes for a king once.”

Celeste’s fierce gaze softened in curiosity. “A king, you say? King of where?”

“I dunno, somewhere in Europe. He saw one of my competitions on the news and flew over to Japan, but he had to keep his identity a secret.” Kaede laughed at the memory. “It was really funny because he seemed normal, like your average Joe. You wouldn’t think he was a king at all.”

“Yes, appearance is the first way that others identify us. Even something as simple as a hat can make royalty look common.”

“Is that why you didn’t want to wear Shuichi’s hat?”

“My image is very important to me. I do not appreciate others seeing me in casual attire. My reputation would be destroyed. Though… I suppose nothing happened when I wore his cap.”

“You’re in your pajamas in front of me right now.”

Celeste hesitated. “Yes, but you are different.”

“How?” Instead of moving in a square, Kaede began to turn as she stepped, making their movements more fluid with the Viennese waltzing style. Celeste followed along, offbeat again, her stare more passionate than before.

“You, uh…” Celeste’s eyebrows twitched. “You regularly surpass my expectations.” She was having trouble keeping up the pace.

“Really? How so?”

“You are a much better dancer than I thought.”

Kaede could feel Celeste’s shallow breaths with each step they took. The hand they held together grew wetter and it was at this point that Kaede realized her other hand didn’t seem to slide around. As much as Kaede wanted to impress her, Celeste was the nervous one. Kaede moved the hand on Celeste’s back and slammed into her side, tickling her.

“Ack!” Celeste yelped with a smile on her face. “ _Kaede!_ What are you doing, you goof?!“

“You’re so stiff, relax!”

“This is not— hee hee— this is not how you waltz!”

“And you know this, how?”

Celeste slapped Kaede’s hand away, still laughing. “What are you trying to say?”

They continued dancing, but Kaede started to move much faster as the song picked up. “You don’t know how to waltz, do you?”

“Of course I do,” there was a flush of red over Celeste’s cheeks, “I _said_ it has been a while!” It was beyond Kaede as to why the Queen of Liars was doing such a poor job at lying as her anger was clearly hiding her embarrassment. Her eyes displayed a stew of shock, confusion, and fear. Kaede couldn’t help but laugh at the usually cool and composed Celestia Ludenberg so self-conscious.

“When’d you learn to dance?”

“Years ago.”

“How long?” Kaede probed.

“Five years ago.”

“Who taught you?”

“A man was hired to teach me at my mansion-home.”

“What style?”

“...Style?”

Kaede swayed her even faster. “What style did you learn? What style are we dancing right now?”

“I— we are—” Nervous fury exploded out of Celeste. “Can you slow down?! I cannot keep up, Kaede!”

As soon as the song ended, Kaede immediately pushed one leg back, making the other bend at a right angle. With a slight turn, she pulled Celeste even closer to her with the hand on her back while quickly guiding her down with the other hand.

“Whoa!” Celeste yelled as she felt herself fall backward, instinctively grabbing some of the hair at Kaede’s neck to keep herself up. Without makeup and their faces only inches apart, Celeste’s entire face burned red.

“I also learned the tango,” Kaede joked.

Celeste, too stunned to speak, gazed at Kaede with wide eyes. 

Kaede only meant to dip Celeste as a joke, but with their chests pressed together and with Celeste’s heavy breaths landing onto Kaede’s lips, the urge to kiss her friend became nearly irresistible.

Her _friend._

Kaede pulled Celeste up and instantly stepped away from her. They didn’t look each other in the eyes and as Celeste flattened the wrinkles out of her shirt, she recommended, “Let us… do something else, yes?”

Kaede nodded. “Yeah, yeah, let’s, uh… let’s watch a movie!”

“Yes, of course,” Celeste agreed without hesitation.

Inside the AV room, Kaede took a deep breath at Hope’s Peak Academy’s extensive film collection. “Okay, so,” Kaede clapped her hands together. “I. Love. Disney movies! I love the art, I love the stories, and I love the _music!_ I think they’re perfect for sleepovers and I’m gonna let you—” she tapped Celeste on the nose, “boop— pick one.”

“I have never seen a Disney movie.”

Kaede’s jaw dropped. “ _Never?!”_

“Never. I did not grow up watching movies.”

“How do you not grow up seeing movies?”

“My mother did not let me. She would much prefer to watch the things she wanted to watch rather than allow me to be entertained. When I bought my own computer, I watched horror.”

“Oh.” Shoot! How could Kaede have been so inconsiderate? “I-I’m sorry, I should’ve known. You said—”

Celeste shook her head. “No, do not worry. I do not care,” she stated with her eyes to the floor. “Nonetheless, I know _of_ some movies, but I have not physically seen very many. You pick one you like. I do not know about the ‘good’ ones.”

“The Lion King’s one of my favorite movies.” Kaede frowned dramatically. “I always tear up at the part when Simba’s crying over Mufasa’s body. It’s soooo saaaad!”

“Mufasa _dies?”_

“Uh…” Crap! Did she spoil the movie?! “No…?”

Celeste giggled. “I am only kidding. Everyone knows Mufasa dies, much like how everyone knows Darth Vader is Luke’s father.”

“He’s his _father?!”_

Celeste’s face dropped.

Kaede shook her hands. “Hehe! Kidding!” With her fists on her hips, she turned to the shelves of movies. She scanned through them, looking for _The Lion King,_ but found _Finding Nemo_ first. She picked it up. “It’s sort of a Disney movie, but you like dark and spooky stuff, right? Finding Nemo has this really scary scene in the deep ocean with an anglerfish. You might like it!”

Celeste peered at the large shark on the cover. “Is it an animated horror film?”

“What? No, it’s a kid’s movie.”

“Oh, yes, of course. How foolish of me to believe that you would enjoy horror.” She sounded a little snootier than she should be.

“What do you mean?”

“Pardon me for assuming,” she politely hovered her hand over her mouth, “but you do not seem like someone who would like a good scare.”

She wasn’t wrong. “Not really…”

“That is fine. If I wish to speak to someone about horror, I can converse with Mikan or Korekiyo.”

 _Korekiyo?_ Kaede knitted her eyebrows and puffed out her chest. “Well, I _can_ watch a horror movie! I’m a lot tougher than you think!”

Celeste flicked her wrist. “Do not worry about it, dear. Horror, unfortunately, is not for everyone. I do not wish to force you to do anything you do not want to—”

“I can do it!”

Celeste stepped back, knowing she couldn’t fight Kaede’s stubbornness. “Okay, okay…”

With a sharp turn, Kaede went up to the horror movies and picked out one that sounded scary, but not _too_ scary. She handed it to Celeste, who examined the box cover.

“‘Night of the Meat Man?’”

“Yup, sounds like it’s about a man made of meat. Scary!”

“This looks incredibly low-budget. Wonderful choice! I could not think of a better movie to watch for a sleepover.”

Triumphant, Kaede balled her fists. “Great! Let’s go get some popcorn!”

When they arrived at the kitchen, no one was there, presumably because everyone was at the party. Kaede went into the pantry and found a bag of microwavable popcorn. Before she put it in, Celeste brought up, “Oh, that reminds me: what will we be eating for dinner, dear?”

 _Dinner!_ Kaede forgot to write dinner on her list! “Uh…” She froze in place, holding up the bag. “Popcorn…?”

Celeste raised an eyebrow. “...Popped corn?”

“No, popcorn.”

“Yes, popped corn.”

“...Are you doing that on purpose, or—”

Lifting a finger, Celeste scolded, “Popped corn is hardly nutritious.”

Kaede defended herself. “ _Popcorn_ is the classic movie night snack!”

“For dinner? Do you usually eat popped corn for dinner?”

“No, it’s for the movie!”

“But we will not be eating anything else?”

“You can get, like, some orange juice or something.”

“ _Orange juice and popped corn?!”_

Kaede lifted her arms. “Okay, apple juice, then!”

“Oh my goodness…”

“Okay, fine, we can jump into the party, take whatever’s left, and go back to our movie.”

“No. Absolutely not.” Celeste tossed the movie onto the kitchen table. “I will not show up to a grand party in my sleepwear.”

“It’s not that big of a deal; I’ll go in there too!”

Celeste stomped her way to the sink, washing her hands. “You are a fool to believe that I would allow you to eat junk food for dinner on my watch.” After preheating the oven, she went into the pantry, gazing upon Hope’s Peak Academy’s fresh ingredients. She picked up a head of lettuce and knife before aggressively chopping away on the kitchen’s cutting board. “Popcorn,” she mumbled to herself. “Ridiculous…”

“What are you doing?”

“Making us a salad.”

Kaede groaned. “A _salad_ for a _horror movie?”_

“A salad,” Celeste sharply turned her head to her, “for _dinner!”_ She suddenly stopped. “Ugh! Why am _I_ doing this? Here.” Celeste extended the knife to Kaede, hilt first. “You do it. I am a lady, not a housewife.”

Kaede shook her head. “Oh, I’m not good at cooking.”

Celeste squinted. “You cannot make a salad?”

“I don’t wanna mess up my hands. I need these to play piano,” Kaede frowned, wiggling her fingers.

“Yes, a nick of blood will send me into a frenzy, hmhm. But… it is not so hard.” She used her head to gesture to the chopping board. “Wash your hands and get over here.”

“O-Okay…” Hypnotized by Celeste’s demand, Kaede did as she was told. When she finished, she took the knife and stood in front of the chopping board.

Unexpectedly, Celeste came up to her from behind and softly placed her hands over Kaede’s, guiding her. “I will show you what to do.”

With Celeste’s chest pressed against her back and her chin on Kaede’s shoulder, Kaede tried her best to keep her breathing steady and her face from turning red. “U-Uh huh.”

“Do not tell anyone I can do this,” Celeste said softly as she moved Kaede’s hand. “I cannot have anyone knowing I know how to cook. I only know because I would— I would starve if I had not learned.” Kaede could feel her breath on the back of her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. “Relax, dear, it is only a knife. Your hands will be fine.”

After Celeste helped Kaede with chopping various vegetables and taught Kaede how to roast broccoli and peppers in the oven, they soon had a nice, healthy salad for the two of them.

“That was fun!” Kaede said, unsure if it would be as enjoyable if she made dinner with anyone other than Celeste.

Holding one of the bowls, Celeste collected the salad onto a fork. She held it out in front of Kaede. “You should appreciate this.” She stuttered, correcting herself. “P-Please. I mean that I would enjoy it if you appreciated this meal. I do _not_ make food for anyone other than myself, so you are quite special. Do you understand?”

Kaede gave her a comforting smile. Food was really important to Celeste, with how little she got it, and of all the times she was forced to make food for her parents, Kaede was honored to be the one person Celeste was willing to cook for by choice. “I get it. Howm!” She leaned forward and bit the salad off the fork.

“...You were meant to take the utensil in your own hands.”

“Oh!” She covered her mouth and blushing face with her hands as she chewed. “Schorry!”

Celeste chuckled as she turned her face away from Kaede, obscuring it with the back of her hand. “Yes, well, I found it quite humorous.” Was _she_ blushing, too? “Let us watch this movie, yes?”

“Yeah,” Kaede took her bowl from Celeste. “Lettuce! Heh heh.”

“Haha! Oh my goodness— you are _not_ funny… Hehehe.”

Returning to her room, Kaede popped the movie into her DVD player. She turned off the lights and lit her new candle for mood lighting. She sat next to Celeste on her bed, almost shoulder to shoulder, but Celeste didn’t seem to mind. She was pretty focused on her salad.

The movie started out normal: a young woman walking down the street. If it weren’t a horror movie, Kaede would be fine, but she knew that woman’s fate was suspect. Anticipation swirled inside her, but Kaede was fine! This movie wasn’t going to be scary! She was going to prove to Celeste that she was tough enough to watch—

From a sewer grate, a skinless man with a hook for a hand latched onto the woman’s bare leg and pulled her in, never to be seen again.

“AH!” Kaede shrieked. They were sitting on top of the covers, preventing herself from instinctually hiding. Instead, she pressed her face behind Celeste’s arm, peeking one eye out so she could still see.

Celeste, unphased by the Meat Man, worried, “Are you going to be okay, dear? We can watch something else if you wish.”

“I’m fine! I’ll just… stay here.” If Kaede got to hold onto Celeste, maybe a two-hour horror movie wasn’t so bad.

They finished their dinners relatively quickly compared to how long the movie was, allowing Kaede to spend a majority of the film’s runtime clutching Celeste’s arm for dear life. At about halfway through, Celeste fully wrapped her arm around Kaede’s shoulder and Kaede squeezed Celeste’s waist, pressing her face into her side to obscure her vision. Dammit, Kaede was supposed to be the one protecting Celeste, not the other way around!

But Kaede was _not_ going to complain about the position she was in, nor of the scent of rose and vanilla.

When the movie finally ended, Celeste agreed to watch something more light-hearted to ease Kaede’s mind and to hopefully reduce any chances of Kaede having Meat Man nightmares. They jumped through the channels on her television, watching various episodes of silly reality TV shows, cooking shows, and silly cooking shows. Kaede appreciated how Celeste was unbothered by Kaede’s short attention span and her need to watch different things.

As time went on, Kaede’s attention fell from the television entirely and onto Celeste. As the television played in the background, she and Celeste tirelessly spoke to each other, even though it was well past midnight. Celeste shared several gambling stories that Kaede wasn’t fully sure if they were true or not, but that didn’t matter. It was entertaining and she loved listening to Celeste talk. Kaede finally explained to Celeste what a meme was and, since Celeste hadn’t used the internet until recently, showed her some of her favorite vines and Tik Toks so Celeste could understand the references she made. Celeste even opened up about the anime and manga she liked and Kaede info-dumped about hers.

Once it reached three in the morning, even though neither of them were sleepy, they decided it was time to retire since the Monokubs weren’t going to allow them to sleep in. Of course, dental hygiene was important so after Celeste got her toothbrush from her bag, they moved to the bathroom.

It was unexpectedly intimate for Kaede to brush her teeth next to someone, especially when she would occasionally catch Celeste making an awkward glance at her. How Celeste managed to keep frothy toothpaste from getting all over her mouth was a mystery. Kaede didn’t know there was a regal way for someone to brush their teeth, but Celeste managed it— except for when she spat the toothpaste out into the sink. No one looked good doing that.

When they were done, Celeste put away her toothbrush back into her bag and took out a black eye mask. Leaving the bathroom together, Kaede was reminded that, in life, it was always _something_ that ruined the status quo. That night, that something was the consequences of procrastination.

Kaede and Celeste froze in place, staring at Kaede’s bed. With the lighting dim and Celeste’s cute pajamas, Kaede tried her best to dispel the flurry of thoughts that ran through her head. “U-Um…”

“So…?” Celeste’s eyes couldn’t stay on Kaede’s for very long. Was she thinking the same thing?

“ _Both_ of us can’t fit.”

“Well… we _could_ but it would be quite… snug. We were able to sit just fine.”

But sleeping was another thing. “Only one of us can get the bed. Who’s gonna—”

“Me.” Celeste immediately hopped onto Kaede’s bed. “I _am_ the guest, after all.” Kaede had no doubt that Celeste would’ve said the same thing if she were the host.

“Right. So… I’m gonna… I’m gonna grab an extra blanket and a pillow and sleep on the floor.” Kaede pulled out a clean blanket from her closet and took one of the pillows off her bed. As Celeste made herself at home, Kaede wrapped herself up like a cocoon, creating a cushion between herself and the hard floor.

Yeah. She could totally sleep like this. This was fine. Comfortable, even! The blanket was definitely thick enough so that her bones didn’t awkwardly connect with the ground! Yes, she could sleep like this. “Night!” she said to Celeste with a pained grin on her face.

Celeste stared at her and sighed. “...Get up here, dear. You look miserable.”

“Whaaaa? I’m good, really!” Kaede lied.

“No.” Celeste gestured for her to join her. “Come here.”

How could she resist her command? “Okay…” Kaede jumped up, trying to conceal her excitement, and, still as a cocoon, hopped over to the bed. Celeste seemed adamant about sleeping on the right side of the bed so if Kaede wanted to get in, she’d have to crawl over her.

She didn’t need to crawl, she had legs!

“Alley-oop!” Kaede shouted before springing up over Celeste. Unfortunately, Kaede was an impulsive fool and didn’t question whether or not she’d actually be able to make the jump, especially while wrapped in a blanket. She missed completely, landing directly onto Celeste’s stomach.

“Ah-how!” Celeste yelled in pain.

“Sorry!” She wiggled and wormed her way to the left side of the bed.

“Goodness gracious,” Celeste laughed. “You are such a goof. Good night, dear,” she said before putting on her eye mask. Celeste laid back like a log and slowly crossed her hands over her heart.

“...Is that really how you sleep?”

“But of course.”

Kaede stared at the ridiculousness of her friend pretending to fall asleep like a vampire.

Celeste must’ve noticed that Kaede hadn’t moved, so she lifted the eye mask to check. “ _Tch!”_ she expressed before turning her back to Kaede and curling into the fetal position. Aaaaw!

“Are you cold?”

“No, I am fine.”

“Oh, okay. So, you normally sleep like a baby?

“I sleep comfortably.”

“Like a baby.”

Celeste waved her hand over her shoulder, embarrassed. “Hush now! Go to sleep!”

As Kaede laid down on her back, unsheathing the cocoon, she couldn’t help but stare at Celeste’s form. Goddammit, she _really_ wanted to wrap her arm around her and snuggle with her like a giant teddy bear, reparations for her getting scared at the movie. Celeste was _such_ a little spoon. But would it be weird Kaede did that? Would Celeste get mad? Even though she normally sleeps on her back, she _could_ just say she’d rather sleep on her side, making an excuse due to how close they were.

That didn’t feel right. That felt predatory and the scariest thing that could happen would be for Celeste to see her as a predator.

She wanted to stop staring at her, but her shirt looked so soft. Kaede just wanted to run two fingers down Celeste’s back to feel the fabric. Ugh! She should’ve just sucked it up and slept on the floor! It sucked being only inches away from Celeste and Kaede couldn’t reach over and cuddle with her. If Celeste were Shuichi, Kaede would be fine. She’d spoon Shuichi and she’d let him spoon her. They were just friends, so it wouldn’t feel weird, but normally straight-forward Kaede was too afraid to ask the girl she liked.

As time went on and Kaede’s mind was racing too much to fall asleep, Celeste’s breathing hadn’t slowed down. In fact, every so often, Kaede watched her shuffle by readjusting her head or scratching an itch. “Hey,” Kaede whispered, “are you still awake?”

Celeste’s side expanded as she took in a deep sigh. “...Indeed.”

“Oh. Yeah, me too.”

“I see.”

Kaede joked, “How? You have an eye mask on.”

Celeste turned around and lifted her eye mask to her forehead, careful not to pull back her hair. “You are so funny,” she said sarcastically.

“Is there something wrong? If there’s something wrong, I can—”

“Nothing is wrong, I simply have a lot on my mind.”

“Hm, since neither of us are sleepy…” Kaede picked up the end of the extra blanket and hovered it over their heads, sealing it in between the headboard and the wall so it wouldn’t fall. “I’m gonna make a pillow fort! Well, I guess it’s more of a blanket tent, but you get the idea.” Once she had it in place, she leaned over on her side, her head on one hand. “What’s on your mind, then?”

“It is just…” Celeste shrugged as she sat up, clutching the pillow to her chest. “Your pillow smells like you.”

“Does it smell bad?!” Kaede panicked.

“No, no, no, it is nice, actually.”

“Oh, good. I thought you could smell, like, my drool or something.”

“You’re _dr—_ ” Celeste squeezed her eyes shut, making the choice not to press any further. “Mm. No. Your pillow smells of strawberries and lavender. Is it your shampoo?”

“Does it smell like that?” Without thinking, Kaede pressed her face into Celeste’s pillow, causing Celeste to lean back. Inhaling deeply— “Yeah, it does smell like my conditioner. Do your pillows smell like roses and vanilla?” When she pulled back, she leaned most of her body weight on one arm.

“Unlikely,” Celeste giggled, “but I am impressed by your ability to clock my body wash. Though, I doubt you would be able to smell it now.”

Luckily, Kaede had _some_ self-control and resisted going in to smell Celeste’s neck. Celeste must’ve caught on to what Kaede was thinking because she extended her arm for Kaede to hold— or like a lady waiting for a knight to kiss her hand. Kaede took the back of her wrist and held it to her nose. It was faint, but the rose-vanilla was still there. Not only that, but Kaede could feel the tiny hairs on Celeste’s arm rise as goosebumps formed. Did she _like_ this? If brushing their teeth together was intimate, this was a new level. “This is, uh… kinda strange, huh? Sorry,” she dropped Celeste’s arm, “I just like things that smell good.” Stupid! Kaede was so stupid saying weird stuff like that!

“There is no need to say you are sorry. Part of being goth is—” She exhaled as she smiled. A nervous laugh. “—is finding beauty in the strange.”

“Uh—” How the hell was Kaede supposed to respond to that?! “That’s cool. You’re so cool, Celeste.”

Celeste coyly rolled her eyes. “You say that to everyone.”

“That’s not true. I really think you’re amazing, Celeste,” Kaede said, her voice trailing off.

Celeste moved the pillow away from her and mirrored Kaede, leaning on her side with her arm propping her up. Kaede wasn’t sure if she meant to, but Celeste placed her arm under Kaede’s, so they were much closer than they needed to be; their faces were only two or three inches apart. “Of course, I am. I _am_ Celestia Ludenberg. And you are…” She bit her lip. “You are a warm meal prepared after a long day of work.”

Why was Celeste thinking about food at a time like this? “Still hungry?” Kaede joked.

“...I am.”

Now that she thought about it, Kaede was still kind of hungry. They probably should’ve eaten more than a salad—

Celeste’s eyes fell to Kaede’s lips and remained there for a long moment.

...What?

_Whaaaat?!_

Was Celeste _flirting_ with her?! No way, no _goddamn_ way! Celeste never mentioned liking girls, how could she like _Kaede?!_ She had to have been reading the situation wrong, there had to have been some rule she didn’t know that confused her—

Celeste looked into Kaede’s bewildered eyes.

Oh no, she had to do something or the moment was going to pass! Kaede’s heart pounded so hard that it felt like a flock of doves slamming against her ribcage, begging to escape. Could she do it? Oh, god, could she do it?!

Looking up at Celeste’s soft lips; the curve of her top lip and the groove that dented its middle section— yes, she could! It would be easy to lock her bottom lip in the space between Celeste’s, to have Celeste use her tongue like the bow of a violin and play Kaede’s mouth. This was an opportunity only her dreams could conjure and who knew if this would ever happen again? But self-doubt bound her mind, so she had to do a little test to check if the water was fine.

Kaede bent forward such a small amount that it wouldn’t have been visible if it weren’t for the sheets on top of them shifting.

Celeste didn’t move. Okay, maybe it wasn’t enough.

She leaned in a little closer.

Celeste still didn’t move. Specifically, she didn’t back away. Of course, she didn’t go on; she was a lady! Kaede was supposed to be the initiator!

Kaede moved in a little more.

It wasn’t too late to back away. Celeste was her friend, a very close friend. So close that she could feel the shallow breaths come out of Celeste’s nose and their lips ever so slightly grazing.

Do it!

She’s right there!

Kiss her!

As the _Swan Theme_ crescendoed in her head, Kaede closed her eyes and felt Celeste’s lips against hers, releasing the doves.

This was it, this was what they made songs about. With her body tingling with heat, Kaede finally understood that this was how she was supposed to feel. Even with the distinct taste of spearmint toothpaste, kissing Celeste was the first time she felt _right._ All of the anxieties she had around society’s acceptance washed away. This kiss was all she had wanted for tense, emotionally unstable months. Kaede wasn’t just pressing her lips against Celeste’s, she was melting into her, feeling a real, physical connection with her. It was just the two of them and it would only ever be the two of them.

Kaede was just a normal girl. Maybe a little weird, but a normal girl. Never in a million years did she expect to kiss someone as beautiful and amazing as Celestia Ludenberg. She never knew how much her heart had been stirring until it was finally at peace.

Finally.

Finally.

She was caught off guard when Celeste suddenly pulled away, blinking continuously as she breathed heavily in shock. “U-Um…” She shuddered, looking down as she wiped the spit from her mouth with the back of her hand. “I shouldn’t—” Kaede couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but the few words she spoke sounded off. It was much more genuine than she normally sounded and less mechanical and forced. Celeste quickly shook her head before stepping out of the tent, accidentally making the blanket fall on Kaede. “I’m leaving.”

Kaede gasped, feeling a metal ball plummet into her stomach. “You’re— You’re leaving?”

Celeste didn’t say anything and after Kaede furiously removed the blanket that was wrapped around her, she could barely make out the fearful look on her face as she reached for her bag.

Kaede misunderstood the situation. She misread Celeste’s body language. She should’ve known Celeste would never like her; why the hell did she kiss a straight girl in the first place? Why didn’t she think to ask Celeste if she liked girls _before_ kissing her? Why didn’t she ask if she could kiss her at all?! The importance of consent was the most basic rule of relationships, why, in this one moment, did Kaede take advantage of the opportunity?

There was only one word that repeated over and over in Kaede’s mind: _predator._

She thought she learned her lesson about crossing boundaries and forcing people to do what she wanted, but no, Kaede was a repeat offender. And, because she couldn’t contain herself, she was going to lose one of her closest friends.

Was there anything she could do to salvage the situation? She stumbled out of her bed, falling onto the floor. “Celeste, no—” She picked herself up, panic coursing through her veins and out of her mouth. “I’m not a lesbian!” she lied.

 _Predator_. Kaede was trying to manipulate her victim into trusting her by lying.

She tried to correct herself. “I-I mean—” Kaede wasn’t ready to admit the truth out loud. “I thought you wanted—”

 _Predator._ She was blaming her victim.

Celeste wasn’t listening. Her eyes stayed to the floor as she put on her shoes. Kaede couldn’t let her leave. She stood in front of the door and held her hands up, pleading. “Don’t go!”

 _Predator._ She was trying to trap her victim inside.

Kaede moved to the side, allowing Celeste to push past her. This was it. It was all over. Celeste was going to tell everyone what happened. As tears built up in Kaede’s eyes, she reached out to her one last time. “Please… Please don’t tell—”

 _Predator._ She was attempting to keep her victim from speaking out.

Kaede gave up, letting Celeste close her door behind her.

It was too late. Kaede was left alone, knowing that by sunrise, the whole school was going to know the truth. With the candle still burning, she clutched her hair and screamed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	28. Fire Damage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently, goth culture is derivative of the MUSIC and not the IDEALS. My bad to any goth people reading this, I was mistaken. In all the research I did on goth culture, I somehow missed that. Throws a bit of a wrench in the connection I created with Kaede and Celeste bonding over Classical and Romantic music, but I always imagined Celeste to like goth music as well, just Classical/Romantic a little more (mostly in a pretentious, elitist kind of way compared to Kaede’s genuine adoration for the style).

_ FUCK! _

Celeste, the fucking idiot, why the  _ fuck _ did she do that?! Had she never heard of restraint?! She was a gambler, she trained herself to not give in to her emotions, so why the fuck did she ignore her training when it was most necessary?!

It should’ve been just a normal sleepover, and it was, all up until Celeste had to sleep on her stupid bed. Once Kaede was in the bed with her, all she could think about were those strong arms wrapped around her as they slept. Kaede wasn’t even that strong! Why couldn’t she,  _ Celestia Ludenberg, _ keep the thought of the two of them together in the peace of her gothic castle out of her mind? She was supposed to only have servants in her castle, not a life-long companion. Celestia Ludenberg couldn’t be tied down to anyone because  _ no one _ was her equal. Kaede could  _ never _ come close to her.

So why? Why had Celeste been enchanted by Kaede’s chipper awkwardness that she ignored the rules of the life she created? Celestia Ludenberg 101: She didn’t love. She could have servants fulfill her every demand, but never love.

It was because of fucking Leon! That bastard, why was _he_ dating Kaede, of all people?! Kaede deserved much more than that classless **,** womanizing knucklehead! He didn’t appreciate art as Kaede did, he just listened to whatever was loud and angry. Sure, Kaede was goofy and oblivious, but she was hardly an idiot, so why would she date one? Being in class with him and hearing about all of the girls he bragged about being with— which he likely lied about— Celeste knew that at this stage in his life, he wasn’t the kind of person to value any girl beyond seeing them as arm candy. Kaede was so much more than that!

As soon as Kaede mentioned she had played a song with him, jealousy scuttered through Celeste’s bones. What happened to  _ their _ piano lessons? Sure, Kaede could do whatever she wanted with her  _ boyfriend _ or whatever they were, but Celeste was a viable option too! She was learning to play the violin, an extremely cultured instrument and the very one Kaede said she would be good at! Maybe it wasn’t as pervasive and in your face as the guitar Leon learned to play, but it was still something.

Celeste wasn’t supposed to care, but she wanted Kaede to feel like she had made a bad choice. She projected her own jealousy and lied, saying she had spent time with Korekiyo. She knew Kaede was stubborn and possessive of her friends, having a strong desire to be everyone’s  _ best _ friend, so for Celeste to spend time with someone that wasn’t Kaede’s friends would make her linger on why Celeste was interacting with someone unapproved by her.

And linger she did, crossing her arms like an overprotective father. With how sweet Kaede normally was, one of her most attractive traits was how intense and aggressive she could get on the flip of a dime. Celeste adored the attention she received from the unexpectedly intimidating girl. Even though Celestia Ludenberg had a dominating presence, Celeste was naturally passive and introverted, easily bashful in the face of a born alpha like Kaede. Kaede had so fixated on Korekiyo and Celeste  _ loved _ it, continuously taunted her, desperate to see that side of Kaede again. That was a horrible mistake because not only was she stirring Kaede’s feelings like a witch over a cauldron, Celeste also probed at her own attraction for her with a firestick.

Her jealousy continued to build when after a long game of  _ Monopoly,  _ Kaede immediately started looking at a video of him at the party she wanted to be at. Celeste knew Kaede was a party girl, but she thought Kaede was having fun playing with her. Was Celeste not good enough? Celeste wasn’t easy to beat at  _ Monopoly, _ how Kaede managed to do it was a mystery but Leon’s dumb ass would be no match for Kaede. Would she rather play a game with  _ him? _ Celeste was so much better than him!

But was she? Leon was much more chipper and energetic than Celeste was and maybe that was what Kaede desired in a partner. Leon’s feelings may be self-serving, but at least he expressed them. Celeste wasn’t capable of love and Leon could probably love Kaede more than Celeste ever could.

She must’ve revealed her feelings too much as Kaede immediately tried to cheer her up by dancing with her. That was another mistake. It had always been Celeste’s fantasy to waltz with a suitor and Kaede just  _ had _ to be an amazing dancer. She wasn’t supposed to have feelings for Kaede, and while she wished she could brag to Leon about dancing with her, Celeste did have standards. Fulfilling a fantasy didn’t seem right when the person was already dating someone. And yet, the allure of scandalously dancing with Kaede, potentially obtaining the unobtainable, raged the fire.

It was when Kaede dipped her that Celeste first had the thought Kaede might have a fire burning inside her too.

Kaede was just friendly. She was a little bit weird. She was just  _ like that, _ Celeste tried to tell herself. There was nothing in her room that indicated queerness, no rainbows or flags or a questionable number of posters of pretty women. She didn’t have an alternative clothing style; she dressed like a regular preppy girl aside from her semi-nerdy sweater vests. She never talked about other sapphics. In fact, she seemed determined to convince Celeste she wasn’t homophobic, more akin to the awkwardness of a straight person desperate to prove herself to be an ally.

But why dip her? Why did she bring Celeste’s body so close to her? Even if close female relationships appeared slightly homoerotic on the outside, Kaede’s actions seemed particularly flirtatious. Kaede wasn’t the type of person to play with people’s emotions so if she  _ was _ flirting with Celeste, she had to have meant it seriously. With the way Kaede let go and backed away from her, holding onto her elbows without looking Celeste in the eye, there had to be something there.

Maybe Celeste was being self-centered; why would a prep like Kaede be attracted to Celeste? Well,  _ everyone _ should be attracted to Celestia Ludenberg, but Kaede was a good person. She was smart enough to recognize evil in another person, so why would she be attracted to it? Kaede had called Celeste sensitive before— maybe that was what she liked in a person? Leon didn’t seem particularly sensitive, Shuichi was a much more viable choice but Celeste didn’t detect any tension between the two of them.

Celestia Ludenberg wasn’t sensitive, anyway! She was cold and ruthless!

...Was Kaede able to see through her? Was it  _ Taeko _ that Kaede liked?! If that were true, Celeste was much further away from becoming Celestia Ludenberg than she thought. If she was going to like her, she needed to like  _ Celestia Ludenberg. _

Still, this was all speculation. Celeste needed to test the waters.

She purposefully brought up Korekiyo again, flipping the jealousy switch in Kaede. She  _ was _ jealous. Not only that, but she was trying to impress Celeste with resilience to horror movies. Again, Celeste was flattered by the attention Kaede was giving her, but Kaede didn’t need to prove herself. Even if she did, she wouldn’t have done so with how scared she was. It was  _ so cute _ how quickly Kaede latched onto Celeste, so much that Celeste barely paid attention to the movie. In another test, she wrapped her arm around Kaede like she had heard people did at movie theaters. Kaede didn’t resist, she squeezed Celeste tighter, fueling the fire again.

She shouldn’t have. Did Leon put his arm around Kaede like that when they spent their time together? It all felt so wrong. Even if she wasn’t the one cheating, the Cheating Bisexual stereotype nagged her mind. Months ago, she had plotted to turn Kaede evil, but that was before she cared. That was before Kaede reached C-Rank. That was before Kaede was her friend.

Celeste wasn’t supposed to care. She wasn’t supposed to like anyone, she was supposed to be evil. She was  _ supposed _ to be, but was she? What evil person has five friends she works out with at night? What evil person fell for a girl who wore her heart on her sleeve? What evil person yearned for said person to cuddle her as they slept? When Kaede made that fucking blanket tent, forcing them to sit closer to each other in the dim light, the fire became uncontrollable. All it took was one flirtatious compliment comparing Kaede to the comfort of a warm meal. Kaede flirted back in what Celeste took as an invitation to consume the meal, to kiss her. Any last bit of doubt was washed away when Kaede leaned in a little, hesitating to make sure it was okay. The fire scorched her insides and Celeste closed the remaining distance between them, sealing her first kiss.

But she wasn’t supposed to kiss her. She remembered her aspirations to live alone in decadence with no one above or equal to her. Celeste remembered Leon, and while she honestly didn’t care about his feelings, she didn’t want to turn a good person like Kaede into a cheater, a bad person like her. To kiss her was to suck out her soul, leaving Kaede uncaring for Leon’s emotions as well. That would ruin her.

Celeste panicked, seeing her future falling apart and Kaede’s soul whisking away. And so, like every other problem she faced, she ran away.

What did that mean for her now? Was running away a good thing to do or a bad thing? Was Celeste good or bad? Even murderers weren’t always bad people, so  _ who was she? _ Manipulators and abusers were the worst people on Earth. Was it possible that Celeste had manipulated Kaede into kissing her? Kaede wouldn’t like a loser like her; it was more likely that Celestia Ludenberg seduced a straight girl into kissing her.

Ugh.

_ ‘Ugh?’ _

She was supposed to like being a bad person, the worst of the worst, so why did being one make her feel so fucking awful? Why, now that she had confirmed she did something bad, did Celeste feel guilty? Why, all of a sudden, did she not want to be bad?

The question turned her brain into overly salted soup, but no matter how stressed she was, giving up was worse. She couldn’t hide, she couldn’t mope, she had to push forward. She had to  _ eat. _ So, she put on her platform shoes to make herself feel taller, stronger, tougher and exited her room.

Showing her face at breakfast was a bad idea, but she knew she could push through anything. If she could pretend nothing was wrong, other people would believe it too. Arriving late, as usual, the rest of the team was already seated, meaning the only seat remaining was next to—

For a moment, Kaede glanced up at Celeste with the dark circles of fatigue under her eyes, only to look back down at her cereal.  _ Fuck. _ Did she tell them? Did she tell Leon? She got the same amount of sleep Celeste got: jack shit. Guilt sunk her heart into Celeste’s stomach as she sat down, noticing everyone else seemed fine, seemingly not noticing or choosing to ignore it.

Everyone except Mikan, who quietly stared at the two of them, eyes jumping back and forth. Did she  _ know? _ She couldn’t have  _ known _ , right? But her eyes slowly grew wider as if she figured it out without being told. It was best to ignore her, lest Celeste gave her confirming information through body language.

It wasn’t until Kirumi brought Celeste her breakfast that Kaito asked the dreaded question: “How’d the sleepover go?”

Kaede’s jaw clenched as she peered to her side, waiting for Celeste’s response. Celeste had to be careful; if she said they had fun, it could imply she had little to no problems with the kiss, which could send Kaede into a fury. If she said it went poorly, they would ask her to clarify. “Fine,” she shrugged, “how was the party?” Shifting the topic was her best option.

“Haha, it was great!” He playfully nudged Mikan. “Especially for Mikan. She was making out with Gonta in the corner the whole time!”

Kaede coughed.

Mikan’s face turned beet red. “Aaaah! You could see us?!” She clutched her hair. “S-Sorry!”

Maki rubbed her temple. “You really couldn’t do that anywhere else?”

“You guys think I was trying to brag about having a boyfriend, don’t you? Th-That’s not what I meant to do!”

Shuichi reassured, “You’re fine. No one thought that.”

Kaito continued, “I was rockin’ my  _ ass _ off, but Maki Roll and Shuichi didn’t do anything!”

“That’s not true!” Shuichi corrected. “There were coloring pages for people who didn’t want to dance and we did that!”

“I colored an owl,” Maki said, deadpan.

“And I  _ did _ dance with you!”

Kaito crossed his arms. “Yeah,  _ once! _ And that was only after Rantaro convinced you to join us.”

“Whatever, man,” Shuichi ignored him and turned to Kaede. “What did you guys do?”

“Huh?” Kaede sat up in her seat.

“What did you guys do at the sleepover…?” He, along with everyone else, was starting to catch on that there was something off about Kaede. “Hey, are you okay?”

She looked up at everyone as if she were on trial. “Oh! Um, yeah, I’m totally fine! We, uh—” Her eyes finally connected with Celeste’s and only now could see the amount of despair and panic stirring inside her, begging for help. “Uuuuuuh…!” Now it was clear that Kaede didn’t want them to know what happened either. Of course, straight girls didn’t like questioning their sexualities and she didn’t want it to get out that she had cheated. Unfortunately, Kaede was a terrible liar and she knew it.

“Kaede and I did not do that much either. We played a game, we watched a movie, we spent the majority of the early hours of the day talking,” Celeste saved. “Nothing particularly interesting. Simply girl talk.”

“Uh-huh! Just, uh, just gals being pals!”  _ Goddammit, _ Kaede! Shut the hell up!

Kaito nodded. “Oooh, okay!” As he kept talking about the events of the party, Celeste noticed Maki, who sat directly across from her at the end of the table, narrowing her eyes at Celeste.

Celeste raised her eyebrow, nonverbally demanding her to stop staring at her like a weirdo.

Maki looked at something in her lap under the table. Celeste felt a buzz in her pocket.

**Maki Harukawa:** What’s wrong with you and Kaede?

Fucking nosy!

**Celestia Ludenberg:** Is there something wrong?

**Maki Harukawa:** Don’t lie. Kaede’s acting weird and you’re involved. What happened at the sleepover?

Celeste squinted her eyes at Maki, annoyed that she asked a question she just answered. Maki was trying to push the truth out of her, uncharacteristic of her laid back personality. She must be worried.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** Why do you care?

Maki stared at her phone much longer than she needed to, choosing her words carefully.

**Maki Harukawa:** I don’t. It’s just annoying to see Kaede act like that.

Liar. She did care. And if Maki cared about something, it must’ve been worth it. While her being adamant on finding the truth was irritating, Celeste did consider Maki to be a close friend. She had a bond with everyone at the table, but their bond was a lot stronger than everyone else’s, aside from Kaede. They had an agreement to spend the rest of their lives together platonically and that wouldn’t pull through if they didn’t trust each other.

Could Celeste trust Maki? She knew she could keep a secret and she hardly ever granted her attention to other people’s relationship issues. While Maki was more of a lone wolf type than one to actively be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, she was still asexual and aromantic, so queer nonetheless. It was unlikely that she would throw any homophobia towards Celeste’s sapphic love. Always  _ possible,  _ but unlikely. It might be nice to get something off of Celeste’s chest, but it would be better in the long run that no one knew what happened. How long could she keep that up? Would she be able to keep the kiss a secret forever? She didn’t even know what was going to happen if she and Kaede were to be left alone. Maybe Maki could provide an unbiased opinion on what to do.

Fuck. Was Celeste  _ actually _ looking up to Maki, a girl who experienced such painful hardships but was still able to keep a calm and level head?

No! Maki was just… just a  _ tool _ for Celeste to use! A box to throw the weight onto so she wouldn’t have to!

**Celestia Ludenberg:** It is complicated. You will likely despise me if I told you.

**Maki Harukawa:** I won’t hate you any more than I do already.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** Funny. But I am serious. I did a terrible thing.

**Maki Harukawa:** You can tell me.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** You can keep a secret, yes?

**Maki Harukawa:** Yeah.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** You must promise me you will not tell a soul.

**Maki Harukawa:** I won’t.

She glanced up at Maki, who took a casual sip of her stupid, childish apple juice. Celeste could tell Maki didn’t think the secret was going to be that big.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** Do not react in the slightest.

**Maki Harukawa:** Alright.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** I kissed Kaede.

With a quick inhale and wide eyes, Maki choked on her drink, coughing and spitting into her arm as she gasped for air.

Everyone looked at her, even some people from other tables. Kaito patted her back. “You okay, Maki Roll?!”

“Yeah—” Maki wheezed, “I’m— hck! I’m fine!” She placed her forehead on the end of the table, catching her breath. Even though Celeste couldn’t see it, she knew Maki was furiously typing on her phone.

**Maki Harukawa:** You what?! O___O

**Celestia Ludenberg:** I SAID DO NOT REACT!

**Maki Harukawa:** Why would you do that?! D:<

**Celestia Ludenberg:** I DO NOT KNOW!

**Maki Harukawa:** You idiot! I said she was dating Leon!

**Celestia Ludenberg:** I know that! It was not done purposefully!

**Maki Harukawa:** How do you kiss someone by accident?!

**Celestia Ludenberg:** You do not understand. You are immune to the rush of hormones that pivots your brain to focus on one thing and one thing only. To be attracted to another person is to feel a violent fire within you that can only be quenched by their touch.

**Maki Harukawa:** Yeah, I’m glad I don’t feel something so stupid and irrational! Do you like Kaede?!

**Celestia Ludenberg:** That is a complicated question… what does it truly mean to like someone? Even if it were only physical attraction, would it mean I like her? To ‘like’ someone most certainly mean to be allured by the person themselves, but does this not discredit those who feel only physical attraction? Interesting, is it not?

**Maki Harukawa:** Yes or no.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** ...Yes.

Maki put her head in her hands, processing the situation.

Celeste made a subtle motion with her hand over her mouth, indicating to Maki that she shouldn’t tell anyone.

She rolled her eyes, her gaze fading from exhaustion already.

Mikan tugged on Kaito’s arm, prompting him to lean towards her. She whispered something in his ear, causing him to freeze in shock. He looked back and forth between Celeste and Kaede. “...Huh? You think so?” he confirmed quietly.

Mikan nodded furiously.

Before Celeste could take the time to think about what Mikan could’ve told him, Maki texted her back.

**Maki Harukawa:** So she likes you back?

**Celestia Ludenberg:** Unknown.

**Maki Harukawa:** How do you kiss someone and not know? I hate all of you so much.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** I am unsure of what to do but for now, I am pretending nothing happened.

**Maki Harukawa:** Just talk to her.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** You say that as if it were easy.

**Maki Harukawa:** It is.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** You have no understanding of the complexity of my pain; the turmoil I have gone through for months, years.

**Maki Harukawa:** Stop thinking you’re special. You’re not any more complex than anyone else. Talk to her.

While Maki’s words were meant to be advisory, they still stung like ripping off an old bandage. She was very good at saying what needed to be said, but without the nurturing warmth of the Ultimate Child Caregiver that she pretended to be. Celeste pouted, knowing that eventually, the time would come for her to be mature and confront Kaede.

And that time came much sooner than she thought. Right after breakfast ended and as she attempted to make a quick escape to the mole cave that was her room, she heard a despairing voice behind her.

“...Celeste?”

Just keep walking, Celeste. There was no need to pick at wounds.

“I… I need to talk to you.”

But Kaede’s voice sounded so miserable that Celeste couldn’t ignore her. She sighed and turned around, seeing Kaede wrapping her arms around herself for comfort. A face so depressed didn’t belong on her, especially one that Celeste caused. When Kaede motioned towards a quiet, private corner in the hallway, she followed.

With tight shoulders and a strained look, Kaede aggressively and anxiously rubbed her hands together. She looked off to the side, not wanting to look Celeste in the eyes. She took a deep breath and when she exhaled, her voice shook as if she were beginning to cry. “Okay, um—” Kaede swallowed. “I’m— I’m— I… I’m really sorry.”

‘But?’ Celeste was waiting for Kaede to say ‘but I can’t talk to you anymore.’ Celeste made her cheat after all, but that ‘but’ never came.

“I shouldn’t have, you know…” She shook her hands, filling in the blank. Celeste assumed she meant ‘invite her to a sleepover.’ “It was— I think I just confused or—” Kaede squeezed her eyes shut, holding her hands to her temples. “I think I misread what you were saying and how you were moving and I don’t know why I thought it was okay to do the, you know, the  _ thing _ and I-I-I probably should’ve asked— no, nonono.” She covered her eyes with her wrists. “I  _ should’ve _ asked, not probably, ‘cus, you know, you can’t just—” She turned to see if anyone was nearby.

Kaede took in another breath and lowered her rising voice. “You can’t just kiss someone without asking, like, that’s super-super-super-super- _ super _ gross and I should’ve asked but then again I shouldn’t have done anything at all because  _ I _ don’t know if you like me, like, why would I even think that? Like, you probably don’t even like other girls, so why would I think you would like me? I mean, I guess I could ask but who asks someone something like that, something super personal like that, like, I wouldn’t want someone asking  _ me _ that kind of question because who knows what they’re gonna say? They could be super homophobic or something and I don’t know how to deal with people like that so I would just  _ lie _ but that doesn’t mean I can kiss you—”

What?  _ Kaede _ kissed  _ Celeste? _ She was speaking so fast that it was hard for Celeste to follow but that was something she was able to latch onto. She got it all wrong, Celeste was the one that kissed  _ her. _ Why had Kaede thought she was the one that kissed Celeste when Celeste was the one that did it?

Hold on. If Kaede thought  _ she _ kissed Celeste, then Celeste hadn’t manipulated her into doing anything. She acted on her own. Kaede  _ cheated? _ On her  _ own? _

No, not just that. She wanted to kiss Celeste  _ on her own. _

Kaede did like Celeste! What the fuck?! The feelings were mutual?! Her?!  _ Celeste?! _

She wanted to shout out into the air, to scream at the world in a state of euphoria that someone  _ could _ be interested in her. It wasn’t her fault! Celeste didn’t have to manipulate Kaede to get her to like her! Celeste was likable all on her own!

And just as quickly as it came, the joy faded away as Celeste realized Kaede liked Celestia Ludenberg, not her, and Celeste was slowly getting further and further away from becoming her persona. Kaede liked a fake and would despise Celeste’s true, boring, pathetic self. She had to keep the truth hidden.

Kaede kept going with her nervous rambling. “Like, kissing girls is wrong.” She waved her hands in front of her, correcting her Freudian slip. “N-Not  _ wrong _ , it’s just— I don’t want people thinking I’m preying on them! ‘Cus I’m not! I don’t wanna hurt anyone! But I think—” She sniffled. “I did something really gross to you and I don’t want you to think it’s a normal thing for me— It really was just an accident, I just didn’t understand what you were doing. But, aw man…” Kaede harshly rubbed the back of her head. “Now you know I have really gross feelings that I don’t  _ mean _ to have, like, I didn’t wanna kiss my friend, you’re my friend! I’m really sorry! I don’t know why I’m like this, I don’t know why I’m a predator and I don’t mean to be and—” She started to sob. “I just have this thing inside me that I can’t control and I pushed it onto you and I’m so sorry. I don’t know why this is happening to me and I just know you didn’t want it and you probably hate me now and I really don’t want you to hate me but people hate predators— I hate predators but I never thought I would  _ be _ one and—”

Celeste had left because she panicked. Kaede wasn’t a predator and why she thought this was a little surprising. Celeste, years ago, had thought the way she looked at girls was disrespectful, but she quickly realized it wasn’t any different than the way most people looked at any other gender. Kaede hadn’t made that realization yet. Celeste was much further in her sapphic journey than Kaede was and seeing her feel so confused, so alone, so ashamed of her feelings wasn’t right.

But she was Celestia Ludenberg. She wasn’t supposed to care. Kaede was supposed to just be some girl she kept close to her hip to amuse her. In Celestia Ludenberg’s mind, Kaede was nothing but an object to be used and thrown away. If Celeste really wanted to become Celestia Ludenberg, she’d need to push Kaede away. It didn’t matter if they both liked each other, it didn’t matter that Kaede warmed Celeste’s heart in a way she’d never felt before, Celestia Ludenberg was meant to be alone.

Kaede was a good person. Kaede was her friend. She didn’t deserve the kind of pain she was in and if Celeste wanted to appease Kaede’s heart, Celeste would have to admit that Kaede’s actions weren’t predatory. Celeste had flirted with her, Kaede flirted back, and it led to a kiss. While there was still a problem with her cheating, something Kaede strangely hadn’t brought up, everything they did the night before was consensual. If Celeste had Kaede realize this, who knew what their next conversation would lead to? Maybe they could go on a date. Maybe Celeste would be able to cuddle with her in bed like she desired the night before. But then, she wouldn’t be Celestia Ludenberg and the very thing Celeste had dedicated and risked her life to becoming would disappear.

So what was Celeste going to do? Reassure Kaede and face the identity crisis of a confession, or let Kaede suffer to continue her path to Celestia Ludenberg’s success?

Celeste  _ needed _ to become Celestia Ludenberg— 

She held up a finger to Kaede’s lips. “Kaede, I wanted to kiss you.”

—but at that moment, she cared about Kaede’s feelings more.

Kaede stopped and looked up at Celeste with wide eyes. “You… what?”

“A predator is one that stalks unwilling prey. I was willing, therefore, you are no predator.”

Kaede pointed a soft finger at Celeste. “You…?” She turned the finger to herself. “Me?” She was still processing what she was saying.

Celeste pulled her finger down. “You did not kiss me, I kissed you. Yes, you leaned in first, but I was the one that did it in the end.”

Letting out a relieved breath, Kaede pressed her hands to her heart. “Oh… oh, thank god! I thought I did something really bad but—” Her eyes suddenly widened. “Wait, why…? Why would you kiss me?”

“You wish for me to explain why…?” Celeste stared down Kaede, her eyebrows furrowing with frustration at the words that got caught in her mouth.

Celestia Ludenberg.

Kaede’s eyes softened, her eyebrows slowly raising as her jaw dropped. There wasn’t excitement on her face; she gazed up at her with the look of someone who had achieved the impossible.

Celestia Ludenberg.

She could practically hear Kaede’s heartbeat as her fingers danced to whatever piece was playing in her head, streamlining all of her focus onto Celeste.

Celestia Ludenberg.

Kaede knew what Celeste was trying to say. Celeste wanted to let her heart do all the talking, to put her full trust in Kaede to take her vulnerability with sensitivity and compassion, but at this moment where everything seemed right, where all the pieces of the jigsaw were put together, Celeste couldn’t admit it and erase her persona. That didn’t mean she should throw away the puzzle.

“I…” Celeste started, “have a taste for all types of blood.”

A tear trickled down Kaede’s cheek. “I had no idea.”

“I am a private person. I do not care much for discussing such things.” Celeste wiped the tear away. “And please, do not cry.”

“So, you…” Kaede wanted to say something— Celeste could tell with the shift of her eyes— but it didn’t come out the way she wanted. Instead, she repeatedly tapped her fingers to her chest. “I—” Kaede moved her hand back and forth, signaling that they were the same. “If I were a vampire, I think I’d like only… some people’s blood.”

Celeste nodded in understanding. Kaede still wasn’t ready to admit out loud that she was a lesbian. It was a hard thing to admit to someone as society had its ways of beating down those who enjoyed same-sex company. Even if Celeste was attracted to men too, to tell someone that she liked other genders as well came with its own stereotypes and baggage. Kaede’s struggle was a little different; she only liked girls, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t find solidarity in each other.

Wait—

Celeste did a double-take. “But what about Leon?”

“Leon?” Kaede pulled her head back in shock. “What about Leon?”

“You are dating him, yes?”

Kaede recoiled in disgust. “ _ What?” _

Her shock meant Celeste’s information was horribly wrong. “I was under the impression that I had made you cheat on him.”

“Ew!” She shook her head. “I mean, not  _ ew, _ but, like… no.”

Celeste clutched her chest. “Oh, thank goodness!”

“Yeah, you didn’t make me cheat, don’t worry!”

“No, thank goodness that you are not dating  _ Leon. _ ”

Kaede shrugged. “I mean, we went on  _ one _ date a few months ago, but that’s it. Nothing happened between us after that. We’re just friends now.”

Celeste squinted and scoffed, “As long as you are not dating him any longer.”

“Why?” Kaede crossed her arms, letting out a nervous laugh. “Were you, like, jealous or something?”

“Jealousy: an emotion felt only when one perceives another as a threat.” She played with her hair. “He is of no threat to me. I simply believe you can do so much better than him. He has no eye for the finer things.”

“Hm. Well,  _ I _ think you can do better than Korekiyo.”

“Korekiyo? Oh, no, I only mentioned that we were similar. We are not dating.”

“Oh. Okay.” Kaede idly swung her foot back and forth. “So… we’re both single.”

“Indeed.”

Celeste could see the formal confession forming on Kaede’s lips. She had to remember who she was and who she was going to be. Celestia Ludenberg didn’t date, but Celeste didn’t want to hurt Kaede nor did she want to deny her own feelings for her. She  _ could _ date her. Kaede would be an amazing girlfriend, but Celeste would be a horrible one. She was soulless; she couldn’t love. While Celeste thought she was better than Leon, she knew Kaede could do better than her. Love wasn’t real anyway, it was conditional. As soon as Kaede found out the truth about Celeste, her affection for her would go away.

She interrupted, “It is a shame such an accident occurred.”

Kaede blinked. “An… accident?”

“Yes. A kiss done in the heat of the moment, one could say. The mood was right, tensions high, hormones cycling at the same time. It is a thing that happens.”

“Really…?” Kaede didn’t believe her. “I don’t think people kiss each other just because—”

Love would only lead to heartbreak. “It would be best if we never speak of this again, yes?”

“...Never?” She could see the pain in Kaede’s eyes.

“Kaede, dear,” She put her hands on Kaede’s shoulders. “We are still friends, of course, I simply would not like a mear kiss to create a dent in our relationship.”

Kaede knew something was wrong, but Celeste shot her a desperate look that read, ‘Just go along with it. Please.’ Celeste didn’t dislike Kaede, she only wanted to hide her feelings. Hopefully, Kaede understood that. She blinked and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I— we— we’re just friends. Yeah.” She was starting to convince herself. “Yup! We’re friends! All that stuff was just an accident. I wouldn’t, you know, do anything with my  _ friend.” _

“Exactly. I am glad we discussed this.”

“Yeah. Me too.” There was a little hurt in her voice, but Kaede accepted that this was probably the best thing to do for now. She didn’t want to be attracted to her friend, which was probably why she felt like a predator in the first place. Kaede wanted to hide and deny her feelings, too. How could she date if she still couldn’t admit who she was out loud? She gave a big smile, pretending that everything was fine, and extended her arms. “Hug it out?”

Celeste didn’t think about it. She moved in for Kaede to squeeze her in a big Kaede Bear Hug, feeling her heart relax. With their cheeks pressed against each other’s, Kaede’s lips a little too close to Celeste’s ear, and her warmth heating her own body, the fire rekindled. They both must’ve felt it because they ripped away at the same time.

Kaede cautioned, “Maybe we shouldn’t—”

“No, no—”

She pointed back and forth between them. “A hug might be too—”

“Yes, I agree—”

Kaede firmly held out her hand. Reluctant, Celeste took it and shook it slowly.

As they shook hands, their eyes stayed on each other, never looking away. While neither gave a full confession, Celeste knew their feelings were mutual. Kaede had to have some inkling of that, too. Celeste despised having to pretend nothing happened, but she had to resist temptation to avoid any more pain down the line.

Even though they agreed to never speak of the kiss again, could they? Could they really let something so pivotal in their relationship slide? Celeste just wanted to move on, Kaede wanted to respect her wishes, but to agree to stay off each other was going to be a tough feat. Kaede’s hand, though dry, was so warm, so inviting, so strong that all she had to do was give Celeste a little tug and they’d fall into a kiss again.

Kaede bit her cheek. “And I don’t want people to know that I’m… you know.”

“Do not worry. I will not tell anyone.”

“Oh, good. You’re the only one that knows. I never told anyone before.”

She didn’t technically say anything, she only insinuated it. Either way, Celeste curtseyed. “I am honored to be your first.”

“Uuuuh… haha.” Goddammit! She didn’t mean that to be an innuendo!

This was going to be a difficult fire to quench.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to make it clear that this story is not just an enemies-to-friends-to-lovers story, but one of personal growth and growing can be messy. Some people take a lot of small baby steps, some take big leaps forward and jump back. Yes, this is a story with fluff, but we're approaching the climax, meaning in order to tell a compelling story, I need to focus on the dramatic. That being said, I think there’s concern for the speed at which the story is going, so I’m going to cut another chapter. If I had time to write it, I would, but I do need to start working on original stuff so I can get into grad school.
> 
> Edit: The story isn't over, I was going to finish the fic FIRST and THEN do original stuff. Just clearing up any misunderstandings.


	29. Love Isn't Real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seasonal depression fucks hard. But, bright side: someone on TikTok shared my other fic and I got a shit ton of hits. I don't think any of them came over to this fic though because they didn't realize it was satire and that I wrote it poorly on purpose. Oh well.
> 
> Another Celeste chapter since I cut the Kaede chapter that was going to be before this one.

“I wanna go to the beach!” Kaede yelled out, sending birds flying from a nearby bush. “September is the perfect time to go since it's not too hot or too cold.”

Celeste grimaced, continuing their casual stroll around the school with her hands entwined in front of her. “I have no interest in beaches. The sand is one of the worst places to plant your feet. Getting the grains all over your toes, your legs, your buttocks is immensely uncomfortable and unsettling.”

“Okay, Anakin,” Kaede snarked. Suddenly, she looked at Celeste with wide eyes. “Did you know a lot of the sand in the world is actually parrotfish poop? They eat coral with these huge teeth and when they poop it out, it comes out as white sand.” Her shoulders softened and she gave a calming smile. “I had a fish phase when I was eight.”

Celeste kept looking forward, ignoring Kaede’s cute face for fear she would express feelings she wished to keep inside. “Only more reason to hate the beach.”

“No-wuh! You don’t like swim-swammin’?”

“Are you aware of how many diseases there are in lakes? E. coli, norovirus, giardia—”

“But this is the ocean, not a lake.”

“As if there are no diseases in the ocean. The ocean carries the worst disease of them all,” Celeste pinched her fingers together and paused for emphasis, “sharks. There is no more horrendous disease than to be eaten alive by apex predators with a billion years of evolution on their side.”

“Sharks are actually about four hundred million years old. Or five hundred. I don’t remember. But sharks are cool!” Kaede sternly mirrored Celeste’s finger movements. “They’re only around beaches because they’re looking for food, food that humans get rid of by messing with the ecosystem. And then people start bothering them and they get angry. If I were a hangry shark, I’d bite a human too! But they’re probably not gonna hurt you if you’re in shallow water anyway.” She repeatedly opened and closed her fingers and mumbled, “Baby shark, doot doo doot doot doo doo. Hehe…”

“Then what of jellyfish?” Celeste countered. “Particularly the box jellyfish, one of the most venomous creatures in the world!” If Kaede had a fish phase, Celeste had a Dangerous-And/Or-Scary-Marine-Animals phase. A phase that lasted from birth to now.

“They have nets for those. You think they’ll just let people swim in beaches where there are box jellies?”

“And of  _ stonefish? Hm? _ ” Celeste held her hands to her chest, remembering the images of fish she had seen that instilled a primal fear inside of her. “Those hideous things— you step on one and you  _ die!” _

“...Pretty sure those fish live in coral reefs. They’re not gonna come up onto the beach.”

“Are there not types of fish that can walk on land? The mudskipper is one. They will come out of the water and chase me, staring me down with those disgusting eyes on the top of its head.”

“A mudskipper? A little, baby  _ mudskipper, _ Celeste?” Kaede disbelieved, her voice raising an octave. “They don’t usually get any bigger than my hand.”

“Far too big for a fish!”

“Oh my god,” Kaede laughed. “Just admit you’re afraid of fish.”

Preposterous! “I am not  _ afraid _ , I am cautious about my life! And it is not just fish that is concerning. One large wave could trap someone underwater and they’d never be seen again.”

Kaede crossed her arms and nodded. “Oh, okay. So it’s the water you’re afraid of.”

“I  _ said _ I am not afraid. I am simply more aware than others that there is an overwhelming  _ possibility _ of danger in bodies of water.” Celeste caught a glimpse at Kaede’s smirk. “Wipe that smug grin off of your face.”

She didn’t obey. “You’re usually so confident—  _ water _ is your weakness?”

“Only when holy.”

“So, what about pools?”

“I have never set foot in one.”

“Do you know how to swim?”

“I have no reason to. I am never near water.”

Kaede’s jaw dropped. “You gotta learn how to swim! It’s an important life skill!” She prodded Celeste’s arm. “I bet if you learned how to swim, you wouldn’t be so scared of water. Why don’t you ask Aoi to teach you? She’s an Olympic cadet and I’m sure she’d be happy to teach you.”

Swimming? With Aoi? The school’s pool was a public place, so anyone could walk in and watch Aoi overshadow Celeste’s lack of skill. “I do not want anyone to see me learn. And I have no interest in speaking to that airhead. I would much rather spend my time with someone who can spout strange and interesting facts to me at any random moment.”

Kaede pointed to herself like a doofus. “Like me? Uh… uuuuh, I can’t think of a random fact right now, but I can teach you to swim! Do you have a bathing suit?”

“I do. Hope’s Peak Academy said to bring one here.”

“Great! Let me teach you how to swim!” Kaede chuckled. “Aw, you’re gonna look so cute in floaties.”

Celeste quickly shook her head. “I will  _ not _ be wearing those, especially when other people could see me!”

Putting a finger on her chin, Kaede thought for a moment. “Hm. But we can’t go at nighttime. The pool is closed.”

There was always a way. They just had to break a few rules and overcoming her not-fear of water with Kaede by her side was well worth any consequences they could receive. “I have an idea on how we can get into the pool at night.”

Kaede raised a concerned eyebrow. “We’re gonna break the rules? I don’t wanna get in trouble.”

“We only get in trouble if we get caught. Besides,” Celeste shrugged, “this is your only opportunity to see my perfect body in a bathing suit.”

“Wh-Why would I care about seeing you in a bathing suit?” Kaede scoffed. “It’s just clothes, but less. Plus, I’m your friend. I’m not gonna look at you weird.” She contorted her face awkwardly; it was  _ funny _ to think that Kaede would be interested in Celeste’s body. At least that was what she was trying to convince herself.

“Of course not. Which is why it will be fine. And it will be fine if I see you as well. It is only a human body.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kaede gave a hard nod.

Celeste smiled. “Then it is a—” she stopped herself from saying ‘date,’ “a deal. Meet me at my dorm tonight after the nighttime announcement.”

Kaede gave an adorably cheesy grin with two thumbs up. “Oh! I thought of another fun fact! Pufferfish make art in the sand to attract mates!”

Furrowing her eyebrows, Celeste covered her mouth. “Those poisonous things have the mental ability to make art? Too human. I hate them.”

Kaede dropped her arms. “Oh my god…”

As nighttime approached, Celeste put on the one bathing suit she owned: a black one-piece that turned into boy shorts and had sleeves that almost reached her elbows. There were white frills on the ends of the legs and sleeves. Right on time, after the nighttime announcement, there was a rhythmic knock on her door.

As soon as the door opened and revealed Kaede, they both peered down at the other’s bathing suit. Kaede just  _ had _ to be wearing a bikini— pink, of course— with a wrap around her waist. Even without a proper shirt on, she still wore her backpack. Look  _ respectfully _ and  _ discreetly _ , Celeste, and don’t say anything that could hint— 

“Whoa! You’re super hot, Celeste!” Kaede blushed and shook her head. “I-I mean that in a cool, not weird way!” She confidently put her hands on her hips. “But girl-to-girl, you look great.”

‘Girl-to-girl.’ As if that changed anything. Celeste coyly turned her head. “You are too sweet.  _ Girl-to-girl _ , your bikini fits you well.”

“Aw, it’s nothing.” She played with the straps of her backpack. “I got it for, like, twenty dollars. And I never really got my summer body.” She poked at her stomach. “I’ve still got a bit of pudge.”

Kaede was insecure with  _ her _ body? “Humble as ever.” Celeste squeezed Kaede’s cheeks with one hand. “Pudge is good.”

They stayed like that for a moment before Kaede finally said, “...We should get to the pool.”

“Yes,” Celeste let go. “But not yet. If we are going to get in, we must go somewhere else first. Follow me.” She put on flip-flops, grabbed her ehandbook and made her way to the second floor.

Maybe it was just Celeste’s self-centered desires, but it felt like Kaede was staring at her as she followed.

When they reached their destination, Kaede scratched her head and looked around. “How does the Ultimate Tennis Pro lab help us get into the pool?”

Celeste pointed to the net. “Do you see the net?”

“Yeah.”

“The net is held up with a rope.”

“...Yeah?” Kaede was waiting for Celeste to say something that wasn’t obvious.

Celeste led Kaede into the shower room and Ultimate Prisoner’s lab. On the far side of the room was a large window that Celeste opened. “Down there.”

Kaede poked her head through, seeing the pool they couldn’t access by normal means. “Ooooooh!”

“We shall take the rope from the net, tie it to the window, then one of us will slide down and unlock the door while the other returns the rope,” Celeste explained.

“Wow,” Kaede pulled back in, “so you’re, like, a  _ criminal _ criminal.”

Celeste flipped a strand of hair away from her face. “I prefer the term resourceful rebel.”

Kaede hesitated, biting her cheek. “Hm… you sure this is okay? This feels… really bad. Getting into the pool at nighttime is one thing but this actually feels like breaking and entering.”

“I understand if you are not comfortable with this. We can return to our rooms if you are not up to it,” Celeste sincerely offered.

Kaede’s eyes fell to Celeste’s bathing suit again. She narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists. “No. We’re gonna do it! I’m gonna teach you how to swim!”

Celeste nodded.

After removing the rope from the net and bringing it to the window, Kaede looked around the shower room. “Hey, uh, I have a question for you.”

“And I have an answer.”

Kaede’s shoulders stiffened. “Do you ever feel weird about getting in communal baths? Like, with all the naked girls around?”

Celeste had to think about it. “No. If I am to take a bath, I am not concerned with the people around me.”

“O-Oh. But, like, you don’t feel like people think you’re staring at them?”

“I am not, so I do not feel like they would believe such a thing. There is an incredibly small amount of people I would want to see in the nude anyway. I am very picky.” Maybe if Kaede were in a communal bath with her,  _ then _ she’d be more concerned.

Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it.

Celeste watched Kaede’s strong arms tightly secure the rope to the base of the window.

_ Fuck! _

“I don’t stare either,” Kaede said, “I just don’t want people to  _ think _ I am.”

Celeste tapped her finger to her chin. “I suppose the Predatory Lesbian is a very common trope in media.” She shrugged. “Do not concern yourself with it. Art does not imitate life, it imitates insecurities and fetishes. As I have said, you are no predator.”

Kaede exhaled. “...Thank you.” She dropped the other end of the rope into the pool area.

Celeste clapped her hands together. “Okay, so you will have to hang onto the rope and slide down.”

Kaede pointed at herself. “You want  _ me _ to do it?”

“Do I look like a ninja to you?”

“But you’re smaller.”

“As they say,” she smiled sweetly and rested her chin on her fingers, “‘hoes mad.’” Now that she finally knew what a meme was, she could expand her Ultimate Comedian vocabulary.

Peering down the window, Kaede shook. “Geez… that’s, like, thirty feet.” She quickly turned to Celeste with a face of determination. “That’s fine! Aries ram horns!” She made little horns with her fingers and slammed her scalp into Celeste’s chest. “Bonk!”

“Do you enjoy pressing your head into my chest,” Celeste joked. “This is the second time you have done this.”

She knew Kaede was just being a goof, but the comment caused Kaede to pause and reevaluate why she was doing that to Celeste, especially while she was wearing fewer clothes than usual. “Uuuuh…” She backed up and headed towards the window. “I’m going down now!” With a strong grip on the rope, Kaede began to lower herself into the pool area, with Celeste holding on.

It was tough to hold on— Celeste had to press her foot against the wall to keep herself from falling through the window— but in no time, Kaede was safely on the ground. She did a little victory dance and pointed up at Celeste. “Rapunzel! Pull up your hair! And hurry up,” she looked around the empty room, “it’s kinda lonely down here.”

“Okay, okay, I am on my way.” Celeste, after failing to put the rope back into the tennis net, threw it to the side. Oh well, Ryoma didn’t play tennis anymore anyway. She quickly left and looped around Hope’s Peak Academy, reaching the entrance to the pool area. When Kaede unlocked the door and Celeste was face to face with the giant, aquatic death trap, she instantly regretted agreeing to swim with her. This could very well be her last day on Earth, exiting the mortal realm a blue, bloated blob inflated with water.

Yup. She was going to die. Celeste was going to drown and die.

Kaede took off her backpack and carelessly tossed it onto a pool chair. When she put her hands on the wrap around her waist, she eyed Celeste to see if she was watching. Of course, Celeste was polite and respectful, so she looked back at the pool and Kaede turned her back to her. But manners weren’t stronger than teenage hormones and as Celeste placed her ehandbook on a separate chair, her eyes magnetized to Kaede’s bikini bottom as she slid off the wrap.

With the way Kaede peeked over her shoulder and how quickly they both looked away when they made eye contact, Celeste couldn’t help but think Kaede wanted her to look.

Before a blush could appear on her face, Kaede speed-walked to the pool. “Let’s go!” She leaped into the deep end, disappearing for seconds too long before emerging. She breaststroked her way over to the shallow end. “Come on in! The water’s fine! Unless one of us pees, haha.”

“Disgusting.” Celeste stood at the edge, peering into the pool. She was horrified that she couldn’t see the bottom. Well, she  _ could _ see, but she couldn’t tell exactly how far away she was to the ground. “H-How deep is the water?”

“It’s only four feet on this end.” Kaede stood up, showing how the water didn’t go higher than her ribs.

“Four feet? I suppose that is fine.” Carefully, Celeste sat down at the edge of the pool, braced herself for plummeting to her death, and stepped in. Fortunately, her feet hit the bottom, but she let out a high-pitched “Ah!” Immediately, she held her arms above the water, her legs and stomach feeling a horrible chill. “You did not tell me it was cold!”

“It’s not  _ that _ cold.” Kaede pointed at the moon shining through the glass ceiling. “It’s usually heated by the sun, but since it’s nighttime, it’s regular pool temperature.” She took another look at her. “Aw, you’re shivering.”

Knowing that her trembling body wasn’t just from the temperature of the water, Celeste grimaced, “I hate this.”

Kaede frowned. “I guess we aren’t gonna get that far tonight.”

“You mean I have to do this  _ several _ times?”

“I don’t wanna push you that hard. You look pretty scared.”

Kaede was calling her  _ chicken shit. _ “Push me,” Celeste demanded, still too afraid to allow the pool to take advantage of her arms. She needed as much dry control over her body as possible to retain her sanity.

“You sure? ‘Cus I’ll push pretty hard.”

“I am a gambler. I can handle whatever a pianist throws at me.”

“Was that supposed to be an insult?” Kaede crossed her arms and smirked. “You’re slipping.”

“Are you accusing me of growing soft?

“No, you’ve always been soft.” Kaede taunted her, “Wike a widdle teddy beaw.”

Celeste gasped, “Lies and slander!”

“A widdle, sensitive teddy beaw!”

“I am  _ not!” _ She dropped her jaw, hiding her laughter. “I can take anything you give to me.”

“Anything?” Kaede slowly looked down at Celeste’s body. If it were anyone but Kaede, she’d feel violated, but since it  _ was _ Kaede, she bashfully put her chin to her shoulder and smiled. Kaede noticed her semi-flirtatious movements and huffed. “You aren’t leaving this pool dry.”

Celeste raised her eyebrows.

Kaede pointed at the water. “Get underwater. All the way.”

“ _ Under _ the water?”

“That’s what I said. Pretty tame in the grand scheme of things, but if that’s too much for you,” she gave a kind and understanding grin, one that masked the challenge, “that’s okay.”

“Easy.” Celeste stared at Kaede. “...How do I do that without dying?”

“Breathe out a little bit through your nose so the water doesn’t go in.”

“...And you want me to get underwater?” Where the pool sharks were?

Kaede nodded.

Making a face, Celeste lowered her arms into the water.

“More.”

Celeste crouched, letting the water get no higher than her chin. Celeste hated the way the water made her bathing suit stick to her body. She eyed the deep end of the pool. Who knew what other creatures awaited a perfect opportunity to eat her face?

“All the way. Just for a few seconds. Here.” Kaede reached out and grabbed one of her hands for comfort. “You’ll be okay. Don’t forget to breathe out.” As aggressive as Kaede could be, she always had a knack for support. Celeste knew just from her hand that if anything went wrong, Kaede would be there. She could be brave for a moment. She could push through it. Pool sharks couldn’t get her if Kaede was there!

Celeste dipped her head underwater, immediately feeling the chlorine singing the inside of her nose. She jumped up, immediately wrapping her arms and legs around Kaede like a frightened baby koala, feeling the only warmth in the room. She hissed and spat, “I’m drowning, I’m drowning!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re okay!” Kaede hugged her. “If you can say you’re drowning, then you aren’t drowning!”

“It is in my nose!”

“Did you blow out?”

Celeste coughed up the remaining water. “No…”

“Well, there you go. Why don’t you hold your nose next time?”

Celeste let go. “There will not be a next time! I did what you said and got underwater!” She wiped her face and arched her back in disgust. “And now there is water all over my face and chemicals in my hair…”

Kaede stuck a finger in the air. “But! You did do it. I’m so proud of you!” Praise. It was so unnatural for Celeste to receive it that she thought Kaede was being fake. She knew her, though. She knew Kaede was genuinely proud of her for doing even the smallest thing.

“Hmph,” was the only thing that Celeste could verbalize.

“It’s better than nothing. Why don’t you try floating? I’ll show you how.” She leaned back and let the water take her. “Just relax your body and you’ll float to the top. It might be a little scary at first ‘cus the water’s close to your face, but you’ll be okay. I’ll be right here and if it’s too much, you can always stand up.”

Celeste pressed her arms to her chest, comforting herself.

Kaede stood up and held out her arms. “C’mere. I’ll hold you.”

Celeste trusted Kaede enough to lay back onto her hands. She felt her body shiver as the water got closer and closer to her eyes, mouth, and ears.

“Just relax,” Kaede guided, “The water will hold you up.” They had practiced this before for months with push-up training. Kaede wouldn’t let her down. Celeste kept her eyes on the moon overhead as Kaede gradually released her. Her heart pounded, but she knew if anything happened, Kaede would be there. “You’re floating!”

“I… I am.” It wasn’t so bad. The water wasn’t so bad. As long as Kaede was there, there was nothing to be afraid of.

Kaede leaned back and let herself float as well. The two of them stayed like that, saying nothing at each other and staring at the moon.

It wasn’t until Celeste was brave enough to turn her head, allowing some of the pool water to enter her ear, so she could look at her friend. Kaede was looking back at her, her fingers fluttering above the water. She was doing it again, putting all of her focus on Celeste with a slight smile on her face. “What piece are you thinking of?” Celeste asked softly.

“Huh? How did you know I was thinking of a song?”

“When you are focusing on something, you move your fingers as if playing the piano. You must be thinking of a specific song, yes?”

“Oh, do I?” She held her fingers above her face. “I was thinking of Claire de Lune.” She looked back at Celeste. “It’s such a beautiful piece. Moonlight over water is just so…” With her voice trailing off, she looked directly into Celeste’s eyes as her lips curled into a smile.

“I agree. The moon is a beautiful thing created by the universe. And when it is this full and bright,” she reached her hand out to the sky, “sometimes I feel I could just touch it.” She put her hand back over her stomach and looked to Kaede. “But I cannot. There are things even I cannot do.”

“But you’re Celestia Ludenberg. You can do anything you want. If you wanna touch the moon, you can.” Kaede’s voice trailed off. She wasn’t talking about the moon.

Celeste sighed. “...The moon is unobtainable.”

Kaede just stared at her, deep yearning in her eyes. She didn’t want to believe the moon was unobtainable, but if that was what Celeste said, then that was that. That didn’t stop the desire.

“...Yes?”

“You’re so pretty, Celeste.” Kaede flashed an awkward, pained smile. “I mean that in, like, a ‘drunk girls in a bathroom’ kind of way. I know it probably sounds weird, but I just want you to know it.”

“Oh, I know it.”

Kaede giggled. “Maybe when we’re old enough, we can drink a ton of alcohol and while you’re fixing your make-up in the bathroom, I can tell you how pretty you are while I fix my dress or something.”

“Is that what you fantasize about? Alcohol is very easy to get. We can make it a reality.”

Kaede squished her face in reluctance. “My mom would be mad.”

“Hm.” Celeste tried to think about how her mother would react if she got access to alcohol. Would she yell at her? Would she finally notice something she did? Her father wouldn’t even notice. “I doubt my parents would care very much,” Celeste admitted. Kaede had been surprisingly good at not bringing up what she told her about her parents. A lesser Kaede would’ve talked about it in an attempt to ‘fix’ Celeste, but she had learned her lesson.

“...I’m sorry. You deserve so much better than them.”

Did she? What did Celestia Ludenberg deserve? She wanted to run away from everything to find peace, but did she deserve it? Evil people like her deserved to be punished, to feel tormented throughout their lives; a fate worse than death. That was just the way the dice rolled. But she couldn’t help but think that maybe she wouldn’t be so bad if her parents had souls. Maybe she would’ve turned out okay if they loved her.

Celeste’s silence must’ve been damning because Kaede reached out and gently held her pinkie with her own. “I’m serious. You deserve to be loved.”

“You are so emotional,” she deflected. “Bad people do not deserve love.”

“That’s not true, but,” Kaede stood up, the water surface stopping at her chin as they had unknowingly rolled into five-foot deep water, “do you think you’re a bad person?”

“I know that I am,” she said to the moon. Tears immediately built up in her eyes. Why was she crying? She thought about it all the time. She knew it was true, but saying it out loud, out loud to Kaede, who she knew would refute it, highlighted how much she hated herself.

“Why do you think that?” Kaede inched closer. “Like, no, you aren’t the best person  _ ever _ , but neither am I. I’m trying to get better and the Celeste I knew months ago is different from the one now. Every day, you get better. I mean, look at us.” She bent her head back, looking at the roof. “I never thought I’d be here swimming under the moonlight with someone I yelled at for keeping servants. I never would’ve guessed you’d be one of my closest friends.”

Friends. They were just friends. Celeste stood up and faced her, giving Kaede her full attention.

“Celeste,” Kaede paused, “I told you I love all my friends, right? I’m serious. Whenever you feel like your parents don’t love you, if you ever feel unloved, know that—” She normally said it so freely, but the words got caught in her throat. She didn’t care; she was going to say it anyway. “Know that I love you.”

It hurt. It burned Celeste’s heart as if Kaede were stabbing it with a hot knife. This was supposed to feel good, but why did it hurt so fucking much? “Kaede—”

“I mean it, Celeste,” Kaede spoke with the tenderness of a long-lasting lover. “You’re one of my closest friends. You mean so much to me and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Just hearing your voice envelopes me in a warm, strong embrace. It’s my favorite melody. Even if you don’t talk, just being with you is enough to make my heart explode.” Celeste could feel how genuine Kaede was as she spoke from the heart and even if Kaede wasn’t saying it, her heart was telling her that they were more than just friends. If only either of them could admit it.

Celeste’s chest fluttered. Kaede’s love was enough to reheat the pool.

“Celeste,” Kaede extended her arms. “Come here.”

_ Celeste brought her last suitcase down the stairs. Today was the day. Today, she was going to escape to Hope’s Peak Academy. She was finally going to get out of this place. Her mother didn’t believe her, she didn’t bother telling her absent father; it was time to move on. The limousine and chauffeur she rented was going to be outside soon and she’d fully start her new identity by arriving at school with an unforgettable entrance. _

_ “Taeko,” her mother called from the living room. “Come here.” _

_ Celeste, surprised to hear her mother’s voice speak her name despite it being one she’d rather not go by anymore, reluctantly stood next to her. “Yes?” _

_ Her mother pointed to the space between her and the television. “Sit down.” In front of the TV? Whatever she wanted to say must be serious. Maybe in these last five minutes before Celeste was gone for months, her mother wanted to redeem herself. Without another chair, Celeste was forced to sit down cross-legged, instantly feeling her age degrade by ten years. _

_ Slowly, with the lazy boy creaking, her mother leaned forward and looked down at her. Celeste tried to maintain poised, but with each inch closer her mother got, she felt her spine arch in on itself and her shoulders nearing her cheeks. Celeste was able to maintain composure when gambling against some of the most dangerous people in Japan, perhaps even in the world, yet looking her mother in the eye turned her into a scared, abandoned kitten taking shelter in an exhaust pipe. _

_ What was she going to say? Never in her life had her mother sat her down like this, in front of the only thing she ever paid attention to. At this moment, Celeste finally got the attention she always desired, but something was off. There was no reason for her mother to do this. She never had one before, so why now? The uncertainty of unfamiliar territory made her heart pound before her mother said, “You know I love you, right?” _

_ Celeste stared into her mother’s wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows. She said it like it was a demand, but there was a hint of pain and hurt in her voice. Celeste didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know that her mother loved her, she didn’t believe it. This was the first time her mother had ever said that to her. _

_ “Ever since you were little,” her mother continued, “you were always by my side. Right here.” She pointed to the floor next to her. “You were always right here. You probably don’t remember how much you used to whine.” Celeste recalled continuously begging her mother for something to eat only to get ignored. “You used to make a mess with those cards you had too.” If the mess was referring to Celeste having to play card games by herself because when she’d ask her mother to play with her, she’d tell her to stay quiet since she couldn’t hear the television, then yes, Celeste remembered making a mess. A lot of messes. “That’s okay. That’s what kids do. Whine and make messes. I still love you, even if you are a little devil.” _

_ Devil. Celeste wouldn’t mind being called that— hell, she’d call herself that— but to hear it from her own mother… she never knew that’s what she thought of her. This was different. Celeste knew her mother’s words were supposed to feel accepting, but instead they stung with bitterness and hatred. _

_ “So…” her mother spoke so slowly that it was obvious she was trying to keep Celeste’s attention with anticipation, “it hurts me that you don’t talk to me anymore. I mean—” She looked around the room, her eyes trying to find the right words. “Out of nowhere, you stopped talking to me. I know you’re a teenager now and you’re going through your rebellious phase, but you need to remember that I have feelings too. I know we don’t have the best relationship, but do you realize what I could’ve done to you? I didn’t do any of those things because I love you. I give you space to do your kid stuff and then you choose to abandon me. You want to leave me and the family that’s taken care of you your whole life because some school scouted you.” _

_ There was nothing for Celeste to say. Some part of her felt guilty for leaving her parents behind, but the decision didn’t come out of nowhere. It was revenge for the tormented life they had given her. Was Celeste supposed to be grateful she wasn’t treated with wrath like her mother had given her father? Yes, she guessed she was lucky from that standpoint. It could’ve been so much worse. _

_ A tear fell from her mother’s eye. Celeste didn’t want to see the consequences of her actions. She had longed for her mother’s suffering, but seeing her mother cry in front of her, tears Celeste had caused, stirred confusion into her heart. She wanted to hurt her mother, but she didn’t want to feel guilty about it. _

Kaede cupped Celeste’s cheeks with her hands. She sniffled, taking in a deep breath as she allowed a tear to fall from her eye. “I know sometimes I’m not a good friend.”

_ “I know I haven’t been the best mother.” _

“But you’ll always be my friend.”

_ “But you’ll always be my daughter.” _

“You probably don’t even believe me— “

_ “You’ll probably never understand—” _

“But I really, really do love you.”

_ “How much I love you.” _

_ Words didn’t mean anything. This was all just a ploy to keep Taeko from leaving. She could see right through her mother. _

_ Was this what love felt like, getting whipped back and forth with no way to escape? This was the unconditional love that all the movies and books talked about? This was the love she had to look forward to in a partner for the rest of her life? _

_ Lies. Everyone lied. There was no such thing as emotional attachment. Her own mother didn’t feel that way with her. She only wanted Celeste for her financial value. There was no such thing as the mere presence of a person lifting the weight of the world from oneself. ‘Love’ was the weight Taeko had to carry. There was no such thing as everlasting trust; her mother could betray her at any moment. _

_ Love wasn’t real. _

_ Love wasn’t real. _

Love wasn’t real.

Celeste squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth, clutching the wet fabric over her chest. Everything inside her told her Kaede was lying, that she only wanted to get revenge for all the times Celeste hurt her. Why else would she say that she loved her?

But Kaede was a bad liar. That damned goofball couldn’t tell a lie to save her life. Kaede was foolish enough, perhaps brave enough, to open her heart to let anyone see. She was being honest and Celeste had to be honest with her too. “Your words hurt me, Kaede.” She looked up at her, tears welling. “I know you do not wish to harm me and I can see—” She held Kaede’s cheeks in her hands and allowed for her faux accent to fade. “I  _ see _ in your eyes that your words are kind and true, yet they make my heart sore and my chest beams with a deep red light of… of rage and hatred. I don’t want to be angry with you, I want what you say to make me happy… but I can only feel pain _. _ ” Celeste’s arms shook as she tightened her grip on Kaede. She wanted to hold her close to her, but doing that would accept Kaede’s words. “Why does joy feel painful to me? Why can’t I feel the pure emotions you do? Why must everything I feel be tainted with despair?”

“I wish I had a real answer for you. But I can’t fix you. I can’t fix what isn’t broken.” Kaede smiled. “You feel how you feel and that’s okay.”

“I don’t want to feel like this. I want to be happy.”

“Maybe you  _ are _ happy, this is just how you express it.”

“No, it’s… it’s not right. You don’t understand.”

“Then tell me how I can understand.”

How could Celeste explain something she didn’t understand herself? “It’s a curse, Kaede. I was born from soulless people and I don’t have a soul either. I can’t love.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“...I can’t. It’s not in me.”

Kaede gently pressed her forehead to Celeste’s. “You’re not a monster. I know there’s love inside you and no matter how much you tell me there isn’t, that won’t stop me from loving you. You’re—” Her next exhale was long and staggered as she cried. “You’re my friend.” Celeste knew these tears weren’t from passion, but ones that expressed the true love that she was too afraid to admit.

“Kaede— I wish I could love a friend like you. I wish I could. I want to, I want to.” She knew Kaede wanted to say it. She wanted to say the love she felt for Celeste was beyond friendship. She didn’t need to; the growing attachment she had for her made it clear. Kaede laid her heart out but had to pull it back inside. Maybe it was the pain of knowing she loved someone who couldn’t love back or the lingering distrust between them that never fully got resolved. Maybe it was insecurity over the kind of people she liked that Kaede kept hidden. Maybe it was the kiss they didn’t want to talk about that she still felt guilty for.

It didn’t matter. Celeste would never acknowledge how their platonic relationship was bordering romantic. No matter what, Celeste would never be able to return the affection Kaede gave her. Love wasn’t real.

Perhaps in that instant, where the two of them held each other under the moonlit pool with no one else around, they could share a moment where they both put all the fear behind them. With the tips of their noses already touching, Celeste cautiously tilted her head. With her eyes half-closed, she saw the hesitation in Kaede, knowing that her words conflicted with her actions. By Celeste’s request, they weren’t supposed to talk about the kiss. They were supposed to ignore their feelings for each other and move on, but as their lips grazed each other’s, neither of them could resist.

The door to the pool swung open and as soon as they felt the large beam of a flashlight on them, Kaede pushed Celeste off of her and backed away. Even if it was a good thing they didn’t kiss, Celeste still felt insulted by how quickly Kaede was able to fall into performative disgust. With the light in their eyes, they couldn’t see who it was that caught them, but her high-pitched voice made it clear.

“Atua’s premonitions have been correct once again! Nyahahaha!”

Shielding her eyes, Celeste asked, “What are you doing here, Angie?”

“Me? I should be asking you two the same thing. It’s against Hope’s Peak Academy rules to enter the pool at nighttime.”

With Kaede frozen in place, Celeste countered, “You are in here as well.”

“Oho!” Angie smirked with power. “But as a new member of the disciplinary committee, I have to do my rounds. I received a message from Atua saying two people were having some secret, saucy fun in the pool, and low and behold!” She wiggled the flashlight back and forth between them.

Kaede jumped out of the pool and fearfully shook her hands in front of her. “That’s not true!”

“Then what’s going on?” Angie bent to the left. “Hm?” She bent to the right. “Hm?”

“We— I… Celeste, she—” Kaede turned to Celeste, who hadn’t left the pool. She could see the defensiveness in her eyes. In Kaede’s eye, the panicked ignition of the decision to project her insecurities onto Celeste was overwhelming enough to set her ablaze. The words were so close out of her mouth; ‘Celeste came onto me, I did nothing wrong!’ Kaede wanted to be a good person. She didn’t want to admit she willingly broke the rules, and if she had to throw someone else under the bus to maintain her good girl persona— Celeste stayed in the pool, prepared for betrayal.

But the words never came. Kaede quickly turned and got her things, pushing past Angie out the door. Kaede wasn’t trying to be a good person, she  _ was _ one. She’d never intentionally hurt her friend, never one she claimed to love.

As Celeste carefully climbed out and wrapped a towel around herself, she hunched over, feeling her pulse bounce through her veins. Somewhere inside of her, she wanted Kaede to betray her. It would make her love confession easier to process because it meant it wasn’t true.

Angie kept the blinding flashlight on her.

Celestia Ludenberg would cast the blame on Kaede. She already incriminated herself by running out.

But her heart wouldn’t calm down. Kaede was her friend.

“We had no ill intentions,” Celeste lied, shifting into her dishonest persona. “The two of us went to blow off some steam in the tennis lab. When I paused to use the bathroom I looked down from the window and saw a stray cat struggling in the pool.” She pointed at the window Kaede slid down when they broke in. “Naturally, I came up with a plan to rescue it, but I was not aware that there was anyone awake who could open the door. If we had known, we would have asked to get the key, of course.”

Angie used the flashlight to illuminate the room. “A cat? I don’t see a cat in here.”

“When we got in, we startled it and it ran towards a small hole in the corner of the room. I believe it ran in the direction of the barn.”

Angie squinted. “Hm… I  _ have _ seen a cat sitting around the barn before.”

Sprinkling her lie with a hint of the truth made recipients much more willing to accept it, even if it was ridiculous. “Oh, have you?” Celeste acted surprised. “Perhaps it is the same one?”

She shone the flashlight towards the edges of the back wall. “I don’t see a hole.”

“It must be there,” Celeste said confidently. “It was dark, so I did not see exactly where the cat ran to, but you know how cats are. They can get into almost anything.”

Quickly, the light was in Celeste’s eyes again. “Atua suspects deception.”

Dammit. Angie was smarter than Taka, who would believe nearly anything Celeste said. Whether it was divine knowledge or her own ability to detect deceit, Angie deserved her position. Celeste only shook her head.

Angie lowered her chin as she came to a realization. “If you didn’t expect to go into the pool, then why are you in your bathing suits?”

Celeste chuckled. “You expect me to risk getting my handmade clothes soiled in chlorine? I would much rather let the cat drown.”

Angie never wiped the power-hungry smile off her face and Celeste never removed her polite but deceptive grin. Just let Celeste leave, Angie. “...Atua thinks it’s best if you go back to your room. If he finds out you two are lying, you will receive his divine wrath for all of eternity!”

Celeste bowed. “Thank you.” As Angie continued to inspect the pool, Celeste grabbed her ehandbook and exited.

Standing alone outside the pool, Celeste put her hand over her heart. Kaede was nowhere to be seen but the warmth she left behind remained. The heat inside Celeste didn’t feel real, like Kaede had placed her own heart where Celeste’s empty space was. She looked up at the stars.

Love wasn’t real. She needed a reminder. If Celeste were to become Celestia Ludenberg, she had to do something to tell her Kaede’s ‘unconditional’ love was a lie she told herself. She knew just the thing.

At the post office, she stood in front of her mailbox. Opening it with her ehandbook, she reached in and pulled out a letter with the return address of her home. Not just that letter, but two dozen of them that she had continuously ignored at her time at Hope’s Peak Academy. They didn’t have a phone in the house, and it wasn’t like Celeste would give them her phone number anyway, so the only way her parents could contact her was through the mail. Every week, a new letter appeared in her mailbox and every week, she turned a blind eye, knowing the contents were either them begging for money or guilting her for leaving.

If her own parents only thought of her as a means of gaining money instead of as a person, there was no way Kaede’s love was real. Parents were supposed to love their children unconditionally. She took all of the letters and returned to her room, sitting hunched over on her bed. They each had a date on them, so she knew which order they came in. She opened the earliest one.

_ Taeko, _

_ How have the first few days of school been? I hope you’re staying out of trouble. Since you stopped paying for everything, I had to take some extra hours at work. Things have been hectic here. You know how your mother is. I miss Cheri. Please write back. _

_ Dad. _

She knew it. He was only going to try to guilt-trip her into doing the work for her parents. He cared more about a cat than his daughter. All of these letters were going to be the same thing, yet she opened another one. They were all going to be proof that love wasn’t real. She expected one to be from her mother, but it was her father’s handwriting again.

_ Taeko, _

_ I’ve been thinking a lot about the last letter I sent you. I’m sorry it didn’t sound right. I was a little nervous and it’s not easy talking to you, even if it’s through a letter. It’s weird without you here. I’m sorry if I messed up the letter. I want to try again if that’s okay. _

_ Have you made any new friends yet? I’d love to hear about them. Every day, I go to the computers in the library and look you up to see if there are any news articles about you getting in trouble. I’m so happy that I haven’t found anything. I hope it’s not because I’m not sure how to spell Loodinburg. I’m sorry if it’s creepy that I look you up. I’ll stop if you want me to. _

_ There’s a lot of books at the library. I know that’s obvious, but it really is a lot. There are dad books here. If I’m not too tired after work, maybe I’ll check one out. _

_ Please stay out of trouble. Remember to floss. Don’t talk to boys after 5 pm. Please write back. I understand if you hate me too much to write back. I’m sorry. _

_ Dad. _

Celeste read it over again. The tone was much different than she had expected. He didn’t beg for any money, he didn’t try to guilt-trip her for anything. The only thing he asked of her was to write back. In such a short letter, he apologized to her three times. Even if it wasn’t audible, she could hear her father’s voice through the paper. Celeste had never thought he would care enough about her to go to the library and look up how she was doing.

That had to be wrong. There was no way he cared, right?

She turned to the pile of remaining letters on her bed. Surely, they weren’t all from him. But sure enough, when she opened and read them, they were all from her father, where he would spend a majority of the papers recounting his day, asking something about her or Cheri, then pleading that she write back. In their household, every dollar, every cent was precious. Why did he waste money writing to her? He wrote to her every week, with each letter gradually getting longer and more detailed, and she hadn’t bothered to read them.

There was one from a few weeks ago that stood out to her. One with dried wet spots all over, signifying dried tears.

_ Taeko, _

_ Do you remember when we used to play poker after I came home from work? Or when you would sit on my shoulders and we would walk around food trucks picking out gyoza? I miss those days. I took you everywhere. You used to follow me around like a little duckling. When I held you in my arms the day you were born, I knew my purpose in life was to protect you. That’s why I named you Taeko; because you were a blessing to me. You still are. I’m sorry I’ve failed you. _

_ Ever since I came home from deployment, all I’ve done is hide. Words can’t describe how ashamed of myself I am. I’m so afraid of my little girl knowing the things I’ve had to do. How can I keep you safe with hands that _

The words were scribbled over, making them illegible.

_ All the days after that have tormented me. Every day I come home and I see your pleas for me to be with you, I can’t help but think you’ll somehow know what I did, that even if I open my mouth, the truth will spill. You’ll know all the people I’ve hurt and how bad of a person I am. I’m so scared of you being disappointed in me and the more I hide from you, the worse it gets. I know you hate that I barely see you anymore. I’m a weak man. I couldn’t bring up the courage to face my own daughter. I can barely face your mother anymore. _

_ I’ll never forget the day you managed to get all that money for us to run away from her. I’m sorry that she found out. It was my fault. I’m sorry I let her take the money. I broke your trust that day and you’ve never been the same since. That was my one chance and I failed you. I let my fear overcome my duckling’s safety. I’m so sorry, Taeko. I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you. Nothing I say will ever excuse me being a bad father. _

_ I know the path you’ve chosen is my fault. If I had been there to guide you, if I could get myself to work harder, you wouldn’t have felt the need to gamble and make money for us. It’s too late for that now. You’re so good at what you do that Hope’s Peak Academy recognized you. I can’t be upset at that. I’ve come to accept it. I only wish you had told me before you left, but I understand why you didn’t. I hope you don’t mind that I framed your acceptance letter. I’m proud of you. Even if you chose a different path than others, I’m proud of you. You did what you had to do. I understand that well. _

_ I hope you’re happier there than you were here. I just want you to be happy. Maybe by the time you come back for break, I’ll have the courage to talk to you face to face again. Maybe we can get gyoza. Until then, I’ll keep writing these letters, even if you never write back. _

_ I love you, duckling. I always will. _

_ Dad. _

Celeste clutched the letter in her hands, creating new wet spots with her own tears. Why? Why the fuck would he ever think she’d be disappointed in him?! Of course, she’d understand! She understood Maki’s predicament and she understood that he was just doing his job! That was what war was! It wasn’t  _ his _ fault the government couldn’t solve problems diplomatically. He was doing what he could to provide for his family because there was no other way.

All this time, she thought her father hated her. She thought that he didn’t care about her. He always cared, he always loved Celeste. He was never soulless like she had thought, he wasn’t a bad person, he was just like Maki. He’d been through something stressful and traumatic and it turned him into a hopeless recluse.

But if he wasn’t soulless, then that meant Celeste had a soul, too. If he wasn’t born soulless, she wasn’t either. If he wasn’t a bad person and neither was Maki, then Celeste wasn’t either. If even he was capable of love after all he’d been through, then she—

Who was she now? Who was Celeste? Taeko had created Celestia Ludenberg to accept that she was a bad person and dedicated her life to success. She became a criminal out of necessity but stayed a criminal to complete a specific path. Celestia Ludenberg was supposed to be soulless, Celestia Ludenberg couldn’t love. But Taeko loved her dad. Even after years of hatred, all it took were a few letters for her to realize she was the one that demonized him, not the other way around. She still loved him and if she was capable of love—

Celeste had come to Hope’s Peak Academy to guarantee her success. She was going to run far away from her past life and leave everyone she had ever known behind. That was always the plan and if that plan was ruined, what was she supposed to do now? Love wasn’t supposed to be real. Celeste had planned out her entire life and now none of it made sense.

She couldn’t take it. Celeste couldn’t accept that she had been wrong about her father for years. She couldn’t take that a few letters threw her entire life and the identity that she had formed down the drain. She blamed herself; it was her fault because she was the one that pushed him away.

Giving up was never an option. Celestia Ludenberg had to be realized, otherwise, she had nowhere to go and no purpose in life. With her broken down and unstable brain tugging against her beaten and bruised heart, she had to reject everything. Reject the letters, reject her father, reject her old life.

She had to reject love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PTSD doesn’t just have one face. It manifests differently in a lot of people. The ending is one of the main reasons why this fic is tagged unreliable narrator.
> 
> We are now finally approaching the climax of the story.


	30. Big Reveals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m starting a trope of the ace character annoyed by the dumb romance stuff going on around them.

“So, it’s forty square centimeters?”

“No, it’s twenty. It’s mass over volume, not volume over mass. And its cubic centimeters.”

“Why?”

“Length, width, and height.”

“But it’s a square.”

“We’re measuring the density of a cube, not a square.”

“...This is dumb.”

Nearing nighttime, Maki and Shuichi sat on the floor of Kaede’s room, doing homework and studying. Kaito would be with them since he was in the same class, but he never went anyway. Kaede was supposed to help, but her mind was elsewhere as she rested on her bed, staring at the cieling. Nothing either of them were saying stuck in her mind. None of it mattered to her; all she could think about was Celeste.

Last night, Kaede had told her she loved her as a friend, but that was a lie. Kaede loved Celeste as much more than a friend, but to pretend she didn’t was eating her away. She wanted to believe Celeste liked her back. She knew Celeste liked girls too, so it was possible, but it was also possible that Kaede only thought that  _ because _ she knew Celeste liked girls Kaede was perpetuating the same myth that she was afraid of for herself, that if anyone knew she liked girls, they would automatically think she liked them. Was Celeste flirting with her last night, or was she comfortable around her friend?

How long was this going to last? How long was Kaede going to have to pretend her feelings for Celeste weren’t growing? How long was Kaede going to hide this from everyone? Normally, she’d tell her friends what she was going through and, depending on the friend and how strangely she worded her sentences, they’d listen to her, offering advice. But most of her issues before then were things like, ‘People call me mean names,’ or ‘I don’t have enough time to practice for my recital,’ not ‘I’m in love with one of my best friends.’ She wanted to ask for help, but shame and distrust were muddying her relationship with her friends. The more she loved Celeste, the further away she felt from her friends for not telling them.

She wanted the torture to end. Never in her life had she felt so close to people, yet so isolated from everyone. With two people in her room, right next to her, Kaede still felt alone.

“Are you okay, Kaede?” Hearing her name snapped her back into reality. She looked up to Shuichi’s concerned face. “You seem kind of out of it.”

“Um… yeah. I’m fine, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I just have some stuff on my mind.”

“Is something wrong?” He turned to her with intrigue and compassion.

Shuichi was her best friend. They had agreed that they both wanted to be better people, better at communicating, and better friends to each other. If Kaede could trust anyone to take her words with understanding, it would be him. He had already proven himself to care about Kaede’s feelings. But the age-old question remained: what if?

What if her best friend was homophobic? They never talked about anything involving same-sex relationships before, so how could she know? Kaede had heard of plenty of stories where people would be friends for years until they found out their closest friend was against their hidden identity the whole time. What if this was one of those times?

What if Maki was grossed out by her? She was disgusted and disturbed by a lot of things Kaede enjoyed, like platonic displays of affection. If she was disgusted by that, it wasn’t that out of line to think she might dislike the people Kaede liked. What if she felt like Kaede would go after her? Maki was cool and all, but she wasn’t…  _ enough. _ Celeste was  _ a lot; _ over-the-top and dramatic. Celeste could keep up with Kaede’s high energy, even if she couldn’t physically match it. She couldn’t like Maki in that way. Maki knew that, right?

Shuichi had always been compassionate. He may not have always known what to do or the right thing to say, but he always cared. At the same time, Maki hardly cared about anything. Kaede wouldn’t call Maki open or closed-minded, but it was rare for Maki to share a solid opinion.

Maybe it was okay to tell them. “Do you guys, like… keep secrets?” Kaede asked carefully.

Maki’s head shot up as Shuichi craned his neck to look back at her. They exchanged confused glances before turning back to Kaede. “Ah…” Shuichi scratched his cheek. “I think everyone keeps secrets.”

“...There's something I’ve been keeping from you guys.” Kaede stood up and started pacing, anxious energy running through her legs. “I know— I know I shouldn’t keep secrets, but I’ve been so…” She trailed off, not able to find the right words.

Shuichi assured, “Whoa, Kaede, it’s okay to not tell us everything.”

“No. It’s not right. It doesn’t feel right to me.” She held her fists to her chest. “This is more than not telling you guys, I feel like… I feel like I’ve been hiding from you guys and— and I don’t wanna do that. I don’t wanna hide from you guys anymore. You’re my friends. I don’t wanna hide from my friends.”

Kaede stopped moving, facing away from her friends. She loved Celeste and she wanted people to know. Even if Celeste never talked about it, she was comfortable and confident in her sexuality. If Celeste could be confident, Kaede could be too. She had gotten fed up with hiding, so much so that the fear that suffocated her boiled into courage. The heated bubbles rose up inside of her, ready to come out. Kaede was ready to come out.

“I’m— I’m a—” She took in a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she could. Clenching her fists, she turned around. “I’m a lesbian.”

Relief rushed over her body and all it took was to say three words. She did it. She did it! Kaede said it out loud and  _ to _ someone! Her breathing was shallow; she hadn’t realized she was crying until she parted her eyes, seeing nothing but blurs. She did, however, hear a loud gasp of shock from Shuichi. “You’re… what?”

“I’m gay,” she repeated with less confidence, sniffling as she tried to conceal her tears. “I’ve been trying to deal with it for months now and I don’t _want_ to deal with it anymore.” Was Shuichi afraid of her? Disgusted? Maki hadn’t reacted but Shuichi was extremely surprised. The last thing she wanted was to lose her best friend. “I don’t care. I don’t care anymore! I just want the pain to go away! If you guys don’t accept me for who I am and the people I love, then—” She didn’t want to consider that possibility, but if she wanted to keep moving forward, she had to. “Then we just can’t be friends anymore!”

Eyes wide, Shuichi stood up. “I… I never knew.” His voice was soft as if Kaede had given him bad news.

“Don’t look at me like that, Shuichi! You’re— You’re my best friend and I don’t think I can handle it if you of all people can’t accept me for me! Please—” She dropped her shoulders and pleaded, “Please don’t do this to me.”

Another look at him revealed that he wasn’t angry or afraid, he was happy. Joyful, like someone who finally saw his best friend for the first time after months of separation. “No, Kaede, you don’t understand. Hearing you confess that makes me feel like…” With a smile on his face and tears in his eyes, he put his hand over his chest. “This whole time, I thought I was alone. I thought I was the only one.”

“Wh-What?”

“I…” He let out a nervous laugh. “I’m gay too.”

Kaede’s jaw dropped as she allowed more tears to fall from her eyes. The whole time she felt like she was the only queer person at school and was worried about how people would react, her best friend was worried about the same exact thing. They were never alone; they were both right there, hiding from each other when they didn’t need to be. “Shuichi…!” She ran up to him and pulled him into an embrace. They cried into each other’s arms, feeling closer than ever.

Kaede looked up from Shuichi’s shoulder and saw Maki twiddling her thumbs. Wiping her face with her hands, Kaede apologized, “I-I’m sorry, Maki. This is probably super weird for you.”

“No, you’re fine.” She bit her cheek and played with her hair. “I’m kinda like you guys… but not really. I don’t feel physical attraction. Or romantic attraction.”

Shuichi knew what she was saying. “You’re ace?”

Maki nodded. “I thought you guys already knew. I said I didn’t care about romance and stuff.”

Come to think of it, Maki  _ did _ tell Kaede that. “I didn’t know that’s what you meant.”

“Oh. If I had known you guys were going through this, I would’ve made myself more clear. Sorry.”

“Maki…!” She took a step closer to her to hug her, hesitating as she remembered that she was trying to be a better person. She didn’t want to invade Maki’s space without asking first. “Uh— can I hug you?”

Maki stood up and let out a long, dramatic groan. “Fine. But I’m not hugging you back—”

Kaede was on her like a magnet, rushing so hard to her that Maki had to take a step back to balance herself. Two of her friends, three including Celeste, were queer and Kaede had no idea. “I can’t believe… I can’t believe I was worried about my friends hating me for so long when you guys are different like me. I-I guess it’s not completely the same, but it still makes me feel a lot— a _ lot _ better.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Maki gently patted Kaede’s back with one hand. “Whatever.” When Maki first joined training, she was against hugs. Now that it was months later, Maki was completely relaxed as Kaede squeezed her. Even with how reserved and dismissive Maki was, Kaede could feel Maki’s comfort with how warm she was. She wasn’t showing it, but Maki was happy and the hug showed how close the two of them had gotten.

Shuichi hunched over. “I was scared you guys knew I like Rantaro and were secretly hating me,” he confessed.

Kaede let go of Maki and “I could never hate you!” Kaede blinked. “...Rantaro?” He seemed really interested in Rantaro’s hair under a microscope and Rantaro was supposedly the only one that could get Shuichi to dance. “Ooooh!  _ Rantaro!” _

Shuichi gave a reluctant nod.

Maki rolled her eyes. She mumbled to herself, “Allos, once again, telling me the people they like without me asking…”

Kaede didn’t hear her. “Rantaro’s pretty cool! I barely know him since he’s out on adventures all the time. Aaaw, the two of you would look so cute together!”

“You think so?” Shuichi sighed. “I don’t know if he likes guys though…”

“You won’t know unless you ask!” It was so much easier to help other people with their problems than it was to confront her own. “He seems like he wouldn’t be mad about that sort of thing if he’s not interested. Plus, if it goes bad, he’ll be off on another adventure anyway, so you won’t need to see him.”

“I can’t just  _ ask _ him! Do  _ you _ just  _ ask _ the girls you like?”

“Yeah!” She had forgotten Shuichi had a different attitude than her when it came to problem-solving. Her actions weren’t fool-proof, though. “But I’ve only told one girl a-and it didn’t turn out well, so… I guess I see what you’re saying. But that doesn’t mean it will happen to you!”

“What happened? Did she tell anyone else? Or attack you?” Shuichi was afraid of the same things Kaede was, but she never thought of anyone being violent towards her. Even if they were part of the same marginalized group, there were still differences between them and how society reacted to their respective identities.

“No, actually. I, uh… I confessed to the wrong person…”

Maki disapprovingly shook her head. “...How do you tell the wrong person you like them?”

Kaede squeezed her fists in defense. “It’s not my fault the Ultimate Imposter is a professional at pretending to be other people! How was I supposed to know it wasn’t her?!”

Shuichi did a double-take. “...Ultimate Imposter? You like someone here?” It all clicked. “Wait a minute, the last time I knew the imposter impersonated a girl was… Ah!”

Kaede covered her face, ashamed. “Yeah… I, uh… really like Celeste.”

Maki’s eyes grew to a size Kaede had never seen before on her. “You  _ what?” _

“I know!” Kaede cried out. “I know she’s my friend and she’s kinda weird, but, like, that’s what I like about her! I like how weird and dramatic she is. I think it’s—” She tightened her shoulders and smiled at the thought of Celeste. Embarrassed by her feelings, she pleaded, “D-Don’t tell her!”

“...Don’t tell her?”

“Yeah, don’t tell her I like her!”

“Don’t tell her…” Maki narrowed her eyes like she got a severe pain in her stomach. “Don’t tell Celeste that Kaede likes her…” As her eyebrow twitched, she sat down on the end of Kaede’s bed, leaned over, and rubbed her temples. “I hate you. I hate you guys so much…”

Even if they were friends, Kaede wasn’t a fan of Maki’s judgemental attitude. “You don’t get it! Do you know how hard it is to like your friend?! It’s different from telling a stranger you like them; if she doesn’t like me, it’ll ruin our relationship!”

“You and Celeste are so stupid.”

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“...I can’t tell you, I made a promise. Just know that you’re both idiots.”

Shuichi interrupted, “Do you think it’s possible for Celeste to like you?”

Kaede shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s complicated. Like, she can be cryptic and confusing sometimes, but I-I guess it’s  _ possible. _ There’s a lot of times where I can’t tell if she’s flirting with me or she’s just being weird.”

“Like when?”

“I don’t know, sometimes it’s a small lilt in her voice and she touches me a lot more than she does with other people and sometimes she kinda stares at me but I can’t tell if she likes me or she’s just trying to be weird and creepy but we did kiss once and when we were swimming, I think— but maybe not— we almost did it again, but—”

Shuichi put his hands up, blinking rapidly. “Whoa, wait, you  _ kissed?! _ When?!”

“Um… at our sleepover.”

“I think it’s kind of obvious that if you two kissed, she likes you!”

“Nonono, it was an accident.” Kaede didn’t want to explain the confusing and complicated details. “We agreed to not talk about it.”

“Is that what she told you?” Maki asked. “That it was an accident?”

“Yeah?”

Maki huffed. “Kaede, I’m gonna kill you.”

Kaede didn’t understand. “What? Why? What did I do?”

“How do you kiss someone by accident?”

“Sometimes stuff just happens!” Kaede justified.

Maki got up, passionate anger spilled out of her voice. “So you just go around kissing people?”

“No, but—”

“Exactly!” She had never seen Maki yell.

“But, like, I kissed Leon and I didn’t like him!”

“Wh—” Maki kept shaking her head. “What do you mean you don’t like Leon? Aren’t you dating him?”

“What? No, I went on  _ one _ date with him months ago. And I said I’m a lesbian. Why would I date someone I’m not attracted to?” Now that she thought about it, Maki and Mikan were the only people she told that she was going on a date with him. She never said she stopped dating him, but assumed it was obvious. Mikan must’ve figured it out, Maki didn’t.

Romance  _ really _ wasn’t making sense to Maki. “Why would you kiss him if you weren’t attracted to him?”

She had a fair point. “I-I-I don’t know! I just… wanted to be polite, I guess?”

Maki groaned again. “That’s dumb. That’s so dumb. Just tell Celeste you like her.”

Kaede explained, “I tried telling her once but she ended up being the Ultimate Imposter!”

“Then go to her room,” Maki said bluntly. “It’ll be her.”

“But what if she hates me? I’m her friend; wouldn’t you be weirded out if your friend started liking you?”

“I don’t think that’s a concern if you two already kissed. And you almost kissed  _ again— _ ” She stopped herself from getting riled up and crossed her arms. “Tell her. I  _ promise _ you it’ll be alright.”

“R-Right now?” Kaede bent her head back. “I don’t know…”

Shuichi said, “Hold on, Kaede. I think…” He put his hand over his chin. “I think Kyoko might be right.”

“You mean how she says Celeste is a  _ narcissist?” _

Maki raised an eyebrow. “Did she say that? That’s not true. Celeste’s an asshole but,” Maki bit her cheek and looked at the floor, “she’s a lot less self-centered than I thought. She can be kinda nice if she wants to be.”

“That’s what I fu—” Feeling the rage again, Kaede held herself back. Now wasn’t the time for cursing. “—freaking said!”

Shuichi steered the conversation back. “No, not that. Kaede, did Kyoko ever tell you what power can beat Celeste’s luck?”

“No, I stopped talking to her because she pissed me off.”

“I understand. She told me. Honestly, I didn’t get what she meant either, but when you put it in context…”

“What is it? What’s stronger than her luck?”

Shuichi lowered his hand and looked at Kaede straight in the eyes. “...Love.”

Kaede was shocked as Maki rolled her eyes at the stupidity of the revelation. “Love…?” Kaede repeated.

He nodded. “You’re the only one that’s ever beaten Celeste at a game or a bet. Kyoko beat her at Othello once, but only because you were there to distract her. That’s what Kyoko thinks, anyway.”

Maki didn’t believe it. “I beat her at push-ups all the time.”

“But that was Kaede’s bet with her,” he clarified. “Celeste made a bet with Kaede that she could beat you, so whenever she loses, she’s technically losing against Kaede.”

Kaede gasped. “You’re saying I beat her because… she loves me?”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be  _ love,  _ it can be attraction or affection. Along with that, if you two kissed before too, then yeah, I’d say she likes you, Kaede.”

“You… you guys think so?”

They both nodded.

The more Kaede thought about it, the more she knew they were right. That kiss was no accident. They wanted to kiss each other but for whatever reason, Celeste didn’t want to talk about it.

No, Kaede knew the reason; Celeste was afraid to love. She told her that last night, saying she thought she was cursed to not be able to love. Kaede could hear the sincerity in her voice as Celeste said she  _ wanted _ to love her. They had gotten so close over the passing months, likely closer than Celeste had ever been with anyone, and it scared her. It scared Kaede too, but there was no need to be afraid anymore.

It wasn’t just that night, it was all of their interactions before then that flashed through Kaede’s mind. All the times she forced Kaede to be with her and pretend to be her servant, Celeste agreeing to do things with Kaede that she wouldn’t normally do, how protective she got when Kaede didn’t eat, and how happy she was when around her. She had a weird way of expressing affection, but there was no denying it now.

“She… she does like me!”

“Go tell her,” Shuichi advised.

Kaede smiled and nodded.

“Don’t take too long,” Maki said, “training starts soon.”

“Maki!” Shuichi cautioned. “Give them some time!”

Kaede laughed. “Okay, I’m gonna go. Right now! I’m gonna go right now!” She grabbed her backpack, put on her shoes, and marched out the door to Celeste’s dorm room, the  _ Swan Theme _ playing in her head.

Once she got there, anxiety told her to turn back, but her heart was ready. If not now, when? When will she have this much courage to confess? There was no telling the future, there was only now. So, in the tune of Shave and a Haircut, she knocked on Celeste’s door.

Confidence, Kaede, confidence! No fear! She put her fists on her hips, took a wide stance, and straightened her back.

Celeste, as usual when presented with visitors, cracked open the door and peered through with one eye. Once she recognized Kaede, she opened the door wider, revealing her already in her track jacket and shorts for training. “Good evening,” she greeted, low in vampiric drama but still very formal.

“Celeste!” Kaede yelled, causing Celeste to flinch. “I need to talk to you  _ right now.” _

“You are angry with me?”

“No, no,” Kaede didn’t mean to sound so intense, she just had something she  _ needed _ to say. She relaxed her eyebrows, which she didn’t realize were knitted with violent energy. “I just  _ gotta _ talk to you. Right now!”

One side of Celeste’s mouth curled as she widened her eyes in amusement. “Okiiiie. You may enter.” She moved to the side, allowing Kaede to stomp her way in. After Kaede closed the door behind her, Celeste gestured to the chair by her table. “You may sit if you wish—”

“No. I’m fine standing.” Kaede had too much energy for her to be able to comfortably sit down.

“...I see.” Celeste’s eyes turned to slits, scanning over Kaede’s body. “Your voice radiates frustration, yet your body displays assurance. You are nervous?” She knew Kaede so well.

Kaede only tapped her foot, not wanting to admit her queasiness.

“You are nervous,” Celeste confirmed. She gently tapped her hand to Kaede’s cheek and, like a magic spell, Kaede felt her body become less stiff. “There is no need to be, not in my presence.” Celeste sat down on the end of her bed, her legs crossed and her hands over her knee. If it weren’t for her clothes, she’d look like a queen listening carefully to the struggles of her peasant citizens. “I await your words, dear.”

This was it. The time was now. There was no turning back. “ _ Listen.” _ Kaede moved her arm out as if she were about to karate chop Celeste. She didn’t want to be threatening, so she turned it into a point. “Look. You and I have been friends for a while now. We’ve gotten closer than I ever would’ve expected. I know stuff about you, you know stuff about me and that stuff—” She took a breath. “I’m not afraid to admit who I am anymore.”

Celeste tilted her head.

“I’m not afraid to admit that I-I like girls.” The butterflies in her stomach multiplied. It still wasn’t easy to say, but at least she could say it. “And you’re not afraid, either. That’s something I really admire about you, Celeste. You’re always so confident and so sure of yourself. You wear what you want, say what you want, do what you want. It’s amazing. You aren’t afraid of anything. Other than water, haha.”

Celeste gave a  _ very _ slow, disapproving blink.

Kaede breathed in again. No fear. No fear. She put her hands on her fists again, squeezing her clenched fists tight. “That night in the pool is something I’ll never forget for the rest of my life. I told you I loved you as a friend. That’s still true. That’ll always be true, but,” she could hear her heart pound in her ears, “there’s more to it than that.”

It was slight, but Celeste’s chest rose as she inhaled, her chin lifting as her eyelids slowly rose. She must’ve been getting a hint as to what Kaede was going to say.

Kaede couldn’t look her in the eye anymore. In a moment of weakness and vulnerability, she looked down at the floor. “I know things aren’t easy for you. You think you’re cursed, but that means someone cursed you, right? I think how your parents treated you made it hard for you to understand what real love feels like. That only means it’s hard to understand, that doesn’t mean you don’t feel it. And I know you do. I know you do.”

Celeste parted her lips but didn’t say anything. Kaede needed to stop stalling.

Kaede held her head up and said quickly, “Celeste, there’s something between us.” She gulped. “No matter how much we try to deny it, no matter how much I tell myself it’s something else, it’s there. And I know you’ve noticed it, too. I know you feel it, too.” The last few months played through her head like a movie. “You treat me differently than everyone else. You care about me more than you care about most people. You’re a little weird about it, but I like that about you. I like that you have these small ways of showing that you care about someone and I like that every time I bring it up, you get this cute, bashful look on your face. You try to hide it by covering your face, but you know you can’t hide from me!” She laughed.

Celeste clenched her jaw.

“I really like… I love that passive side of you. I love how to everyone else, you have this dark, hardcore, snooty personality, but when you’re with me, I get to see the real you that’s sensitive and funny and weird... I don’t know exactly how you feel about me, but I know you feel something.”

As Celeste swallowed in anticipation, Kaede knew she just had to outright say it.

“Celeste…” Kaede took a step closer. “That kiss wasn’t an accident. You and I both know that. I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but we can’t just pretend like nothing happened. I can’t do that. We can’t pretend like we’re just friends anymore.” She grabbed Celeste’s hands and pulled her up. “I can’t take it anymore, Celeste. I… I love you. I love you more than a friend should. I’m not afraid to admit it and I don’t want you to be afraid either.”

Celeste’s mouth twitched back and forth between a smile and a frown. She squeezed Kaede’s hands and shook as she inhaled. Her shoulders were stiff as she looked at the floor.

When she looked back at Kaede, her eyes displayed nothing but despair.

Something shifted in Celeste; she pushed her shoulder’s back and held her chin up. Her eyes softened from a pained yearning to bored apathy, as if she were being scolded by someone she didn’t respect. “Oh, dear. This is unfortunate. I cannot say I expected this to happen, but I am not surprised.”

Kaede blinked. “…Unfortunate?”

“You have fallen for me. That was far from my intention.” A sly smirk curled one side of her mouth. “Hm. I suppose I should have played my cards better.”

Kaede squinted at her. She was expecting Celeste to confess her true feelings too, but she was suddenly looking at someone she didn’t recognize. “Yeah…? Yeah, I’ve fallen for you, but… what?”

She freed her hands from Kaede. “You were not supposed to fall for me in such a way. Worship me, yes, but to love me as an equal? Ha ha! Hahaha! Hm.” She tapped her chin. “I wonder what went wrong.”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“I suppose there is no sense in hiding it now. You are too far gone for me to salvage this. Allow me to make myself clear.” This wasn’t the Celeste she knew. This wasn’t the Celeste she loved, this was the Celeste she yelled at months ago for trying to taint Gonta. “The emotions you feel right now are not real. With careful words, motions, and agreements, I have crafted them myself.”

Kaede repeated, “My feelings… aren’t real? Celeste, I love you. I know that I love you—”

“Mm.” Celeste held up one finger. “You were meant to become dedicated to me as a servant. I need a pianist for my gothic castle and what better than one from Hope’s Peak Academy? With your stubborn and self-righteous attitude, there were two ways to achieve that: to force you or to change your opinion of me. To force you would be for you to become my slave, and slaves revolt, so that is not an option. I came up with an elaborate plan for you to worship me, but I suppose it went too far. Your emotions are much stronger than I perceived.”

Kaede put her fingers to her temples, confused as all hell. “Are you… are you doing that thing again where you just can’t admit your feelings so you just say something weird? Like, yeah, I said I like when you’re weird, but I meant when you call yourself a vampire. Not whatever it is you’re doing now.”

“Oooo, tsk tsk tsk, denial is quite painful, is it not? I assure you that I am not ‘being weird.’ I am confessing that I have played you. Life is but a game, but it seems I have lost this one.” Celeste rolled her eyes in inconvenience. “I spent  _ months _ trying to get you to like me; learning your traits, dissecting your values, I even spent time with your  _ horrendous _ friends to convince you that I am worthy of your attention. All of that and you end up falling in love with me. I am flattered, but this is not what I wanted at all. What a waste of time.”

“‘Horrendous friends?’ What do you  _ mean _ ‘horrendous friends?’ They’re your friends too!”

Celeste scoffed. “You believe I truly care about those runts? Heavens, no. They were only a means to an end. None of them mean anything to me.”

“None of them? You’re pretty damn close with Maki.”

Celeste shrugged like it was nothing. “She hated me the most. I figured if I got close with her, you would be more willing to worship me. All it took was a couple of lies.”

Was this Celeste? This couldn’t be Celeste! Her fast-paced heart was telling her she was the imposter again, but she knew that wasn’t true. This was Celeste’s room, that was Celeste’s voice, that was Celeste’s body, Celeste’s motions, Celeste’s vocabulary.  _ She was Celeste, _ but why was she acting like this? Kaede didn’t want to believe she and her friends had been manipulated this whole time. Her relationship with Celeste was genuine, at least she thought it was. Was she really that gullible? Was she really that  _ stupid? _ “Celeste, don’t— don’t do this right now. This isn’t funny. You played a  _ sick _ joke on me when you got me to confess my love to the imposter, don’t tell me you’re doing this again.”

Celeste’s jaw dropped in realization. “Oh, is  _ that _ why you were so upset? That makes a lot of sense now in retrospect. Hm.” She chuckled to herself. “Though I do not recall ever apologizing for that.”

She was right; after all this time, Celeste had never said she was sorry for tricking her, she only apologized for yelling at her during their fight over it. She apologized for calling Kaede a bad person, not for destroying their trust. Trust that  _ Kaede _ worked hard to regain. Kaede did all the work, not Celeste. Celeste actually made Kaede spend the day with her so that  _ Celeste _ would forgive  _ her. _

A whole day where Kaede was her servant.

Oh god. Oh no. This couldn’t be real. This wasn’t real. Celeste had to like her back, Kaede was so  _ sure! _

“We  _ kissed, _ Celeste! You mean to tell me you tricked me into kissing you?!”

Celeste held her hand up. “Oh, no, I would never go  _ that _ far. I meant it when I said it was only an accident. A state of hormonal weakness. You  _ are _ quite attractive, but am  _ I _ attracted to you? No. And to  _ love _ you?” She laughed. She  _ laughed. _ “I do not love. I have stated that several times. It is not in me.”

“You’re lying.” She kept shaking her head. “You’re lying, you’re lying, you’re lying—”

“I am afraid not, Kaede—” She didn’t even call her ‘dear.’ Everything between them was a trick, down to the word.

“I know you love me, Celeste!” Kaede shouted, trying to reclaim any ounce of truth she thought she had left. “You— You just have a hard time— Everything we’ve done together, we— we are at least  _ friends, _ right?! You’re my  _ friend!” _

Celeste chuckled, looking to the side and back at Kaede, as if Kaede’s outburst was out of place. “No. I told you I have allies. We were never friends.”

“I thought… I thought you—”

She gave a bright smile with white teeth as she furrowed her eyebrows. “To think that I could fall for a lower class,  _ goofball _ like you? I am  _ Celestia Ludenberg, _ goddammit! I am sorry, Kaede, but I do not feel anything towards  _ anyone. _ No affection, no remorse, no love! I am not meant to be with anyone and it will stay that way for as long as I live! The only person in this world that I could ever feel anything towards is my own perfect clone! Sorry! Ha ha ha!” She covered her mouth with her hand as she loudly let out an evil, haughty laugh. “I am so,  _ so sorry,  _ Kaede!”

Kaede thought she saw a glimmer of something in Celeste. She thought she saw a shine of deep regret and pain. It must’ve been the tears in Kaede’s eyes that blurred her perception of reality.

Kyoko was right; Celeste was going to hurt her. Kaede thought she knew Celeste, she thought she knew the girl she loved, but Celeste only proved that love wasn’t real. None of what Kaede felt was real.

The overwhelming guilt she had for liking her friend, someone she thought was her friend, compelled her to only say, “I-I’m sorry…” It was the last thing she did before running out the door, hearing Celeste’s laugh echo before the door slammed shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story isn’t over. For those of you who have an interest in storytelling, particularly three-act storytelling, this is the setback, the ‘all hope is lost’ section that happens right before the climax. Please don’t think the story ends on a downer like this haha.


	31. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but I gotta retcon a mistake I made. A long time ago, in chapter 15 - Masks, Kaito was supposed to tell Celeste that if she ever felt alone, she could look to the stars for guidance. My dumbass forgot to write that in, which was supposed to be one of the most important things Kaito says in that chapter. I’ll go back and edit it in later. I’m so sorry to do yall like this.
> 
> Also, sorry for the later upload. As soon as I posted the last chapter, America decided to act a fool and ya girl spent two days doomscrolling instead of writing.

After Kaede slammed the door behind her, Celeste immediately stopped laughing and hunched over, clutching her aching chest. She squeezed her eyes shut as a long whine escaped her throat. That was it. Kaede was gone. This was the curse Celeste was going to have to deal with for the rest of her life.

She never wanted to hurt her; she had to. Evil people had to betray the good. If Celeste wanted to be Celestia Ludenberg, she needed Kaede to back off. Well, she did it. She was Celestia Ludenberg now.

This was what she always wanted. This was what she dreamed of, but she wasn’t supposed to feel guilty. Fire in her gut made her want to scream out. She wanted to throw a fit, break everything in her room, destroy everything she had ever known and loved as revenge for breaking Kaede’s heart.

But she was Celestia Ludenberg now. She wasn’t her mother, prone to fits of rage, and she wasn’t Taeko, who responded back with the same fury. With a deep inhale, she rolled her spine up and straightened herself.

Celestia Ludenberg.

Celestia Ludenberg.

Celestia Ludenberg.

Without shedding a single tear, she wiped all emotion off of her face. Like a robot, she mechanically turned to look at herself in her vanity mirror. Was  _ that _ Celestia Ludenberg? No, Celestia Ludenberg enjoyed Kaede’s pain. Celeste got close to the mirror, leaning in so that her forehead made contact with it, and faked a smile.

A normal person would cry over what they did. A normal person would run after Kaede. Celeste wasn’t a normal person. She wasn’t a person anymore. She lost all of her humanity and was nothing but a soulless shell. Only a monster would smile at a situation like this.

_ Kaede gently pressed her forehead to Celeste’s. “You’re not a monster. I know there’s love inside you and no matter how much you tell me there isn’t, that won’t stop me from loving you. You’re—” Her next exhale was long and staggered as she cried. “You’re my friend.”  _

Celeste dropped her head, looking down at the piles of letters. She grabbed them all and threw them into her empty trash can. Opening up a drawer, she pulled out the matchbox she used to light her candles and lit a match. With this, it would be over. She would never have a reminder of who she could be if she chose a different path. She hovered the match over the trash can.

_ Ding Dong, Bing Bong _

The nighttime announcement rang on her overhead monitor.

Training. She was going to be late for training. Celeste had to go; she still hadn’t beaten Maki at fifty push-ups. It was highly likely Kaede ran to her room instead of training, so Celeste wasn’t going to face her. The last time Celeste hurt her, Kaede hadn’t said anything to anyone. At least to her knowledge. Training would be normal, aside from everyone wondering where Kaede was. Things would be fine.

Besides, it was the only excuse she had for not burning the letters right away.

Celeste blew out the match, held her head up, and walked out the door. 

Upon reaching the outdoors, she spotted the others standing in a circle, talking to each other as usual. Except they weren’t talking to each other, they were listening to one person: Kaede.

Celeste’s heart jumped. She wasn’t supposed to be out there. It was a little hard to see from her distance, but Kaede’s face was in Kaito’s chest as his arms wrapped around her. She couldn’t see Maki’s face since her back was facing the school’s entrance, but with Mikan’s hands clasping pieces of her hair and Shuichi with his hand over his heart, it wasn’t hard to deduce what was going on.

She told them. Kaede told them what had happened, including that she had manipulated the rest of them as well and that she had no feelings whatsoever about her friends. She continued walking towards the group with her hands in her pockets, probable scenarios and how she should respond to each one running through her mind.

Shuichi looked up and saw Celeste approaching and pointed at her. Everyone, except Maki, looked at her. Kaede quickly shook her head and her hands, backing away from the group.

“I’m sorry, I can’t— I can’t,” she said.

Shuichi gently held her arm, trying to prevent her from leaving. “Kaede—”

“No, I can’t—” Kaede yanked herself free. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Without looking back, she ran into the dorms.

When Celeste reached the courtyard, she could see from the back that Maki had her arms crossed, Mikan grit her teeth with fury in her eyes, Shuichi looked down at the ground as soon as she made eye contact with him, and Kaito had a face that said, ‘How could you?”

Celeste had to do something. Mikan was the furthest away from her, but it looked like any wrong move could send her into a violent frenzy. It wasn’t like Celeste could explain her side; that would defeat the purpose of rejecting Kaede. At this moment, all of her friends saw her as a manipulative asshole. She never wanted it to go back to them, but the cat was out of the bag. The only thing Celeste could do was maintain any sort of normalcy she could salvage. She had to say something and she had to say it  _ now. _

“So…” she said calmly, “what training are we doing today?”

It happened so fast. Celeste’s eyes were on the wrong person; Mikan was too many steps away for her to do anything Celeste couldn’t react to, but Maki was right in front of her. In the blink of an eye, Maki’s foot pivoted, turning her around, and Celeste felt her elbow go deep into her stomach. She winced in pain as Maki pushed her weight onto her, forcing Celeste to fall to her back. In a flash, Maki straddled Celeste with her hands around her neck, thumbs pressed against her windpipe. Celeste’s hands went to Maki’s, trying to pull them off as she refused to let any air enter Celeste’s lungs.

“Kill her, Maki!” she heard Mikan yell.  _ “Kill her!” _

Celeste couldn’t see Shuichi, but she heard him hold Mikan back. “N-No!”

“Wait, Maki-roll!” She saw Kaito take a step forward, but he knew there was little he could do to stop Maki without hurting himself too.

This wasn’t like when Kaede tackled her before; even if Maki was smaller than both Kaede and Celeste, she was twice as strong and had the training to keep Celeste down. As Celeste flailed her legs, tear droplets splashed onto her face.

“Everything you said was a lie,” Maki seethed. Her breath was shallow; no one had ever seen Maki cry before. “You and your stupid castle and being your gardener— you lied to me!” She tightened her grip and screamed in Celeste’s face, “ _ I trusted you!” _

Celeste shouldn’t have ever said that she didn’t care about the rest of the team and that they were just a means to an end. Now, Maki believed her promise to get her away from the assassin life was insincere. Celeste never expected the consequences of her actions to be this severe. She only meant to reject Kaede, not betray her friends.

Right when Celeste started to feel dizzy, she heard Kaito’s quick footsteps. “Maki-roll, stop!” He ran up to them and yanked Maki by her waist, pulling her off of Celeste. “I know you’re hurt but you can’t—”

Unfortunately for Kaito, Maki was well trained in self-defense. She instinctively bashed her head into Kaito’s face, prompting him to let go. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she turned back and slammed her shoulder into his gut, knocking him onto his back.

With Maki’s hands off of her, Celeste bent over on the ground, coughing and spitting with pain still in her stomach. Maki stomped towards her, fists clenched and the cold stare of a murderer. Celeste tried to get up to run away, or at least crawl, but through wheezes and a crushed abdomen, she was hardly able to move. It wasn’t until Kaito groaned in pain that Maki snapped out of assassin mode, realizing what she had done to her friend. She gasped, ignored Celeste, and ran up to his writhing body.

Meanwhile, Shuichi still held Mikan by her arm, preventing her from running up to Celeste and clawing her face in. She was moving so frantically that by being held back, she was kicking up grass and dirt. “I knew it! I knew we shouldn’t have trusted her but not one listened to me! No one ever listens to me! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!”

“Mikan, stop! You can’t hurt her,” he strained, “we don’t know her side of the story! It might not be true!”

“Why wouldn’t it be!? She lied, she lied about everything! Even Gonta—” She fell to the ground, exhausted. She clutched the grass, watering it with her tears. “Even Gonta was a lie… she must’ve— she must’ve tricked him too just to get me to like her…”

“Maybe that was real—”

Mikan snapped at him, “When has she ever told the truth?! What about her has ever been truthful?!”

Shuichi looked back and forth between Celeste and Mikan. He was the only one who knew her name. He was the only one who knew she was lying about her identity. Celeste wore his hat to support him. He agreed to help her learn how to play shogi. They bonded over their alternative lifestyles. But Kaede had told him Celeste was manipulating them the whole time. He looked down, unsure of who to believe.

Kaito stood up, holding his bloody nose. “Eight-Point-Five, there’s gotta be a reason, right? Just… just tell us what happened!”

“I…” Celeste said through pained breaths. “I do not know what you mean.”

Instantly, Maki’s hand was at her collar, pulling her up to her knees. She held a fist in the air, ready to strike Celeste at the wrong answer. “Tell us what you said to Kaede.”

“Maki-roll, let go of her.”

“You don’t get it, Kaito.” Maki squeezed her fist so hard that it was shaking. “Celeste and I made a promise to each other. If it’s true that Celeste was just playing us—” She inhaled through her nose, trying to keep a level head. “Answer me.”

She was Celestia Ludenberg now. Celeste couldn’t tell the truth. To try to save her relationship with her friends would mean she would admit to lying to Kaede. If they asked why she lied, she’d have to explain everything. Too bad, Celeste tried to tell herself. Too bad that she wasn’t allowed to have friends either. “I told Kaede that she, and all the rest of you, mean nothing to me.”

“Why?!” Kaito cried out. “Why would you say something like that?!”

“...Because it is true.”

Maki scrunched her nose as Celeste braced for impact. Instead, she was thrown to the ground. “This is my fault,” Maki confessed, turning her back on Celeste. “I told Kaede to confess to her because I thought— I thought they liked each other.” She rubbed her forehead in frustration. “None of this makes any sense to me.”

Shuichi held up his hands in reassurance. “No, it’s not your fault. I thought so, too. I was with you—”

Mikan nodded, “Me too. I thought I saw it in their faces and the way they spoke to each other was different than how you spoke to a friend.”

Kaito agreed. “Once Mikan told me, it was obvious to me, too.” He huffed. “Which is why I know there’s something wrong here. There’s something Celeste isn’t telling us.” He walked over to Celeste and helped her stand, holding onto her shoulders. “Eight-Point-Five, c’mon,” Kaito pleaded. “We all knew. We all knew you two like each other. We’re all your friends. So why? Why would you say that we aren’t?”

Kaito was the first teammate Celeste connected with. He was the one who always believed in her. Even though Kaede could see through her, Kaito was the one who never wanted to change her, who accepted Celeste for who she was. He was the first to treat her like a friend.

Celestia Ludenberg didn’t have friends. She was on her own.

Celeste smiled. “Because we are not friends.”

“C’mon, Celestia!” He gently shook her. “Don’t lie to us!”

She pushed him off of her. “I cannot comprehend why any of you are surprised. Why would someone like me care about people like you?  _ Of course,  _ Kaede is nothing but a pianist to me! That is what she  _ is! _ All of you are nothing but your talents! What use do I have for an astronaut? Any criminal would be a fool to not have a detective on their side!” She turned to Mikan. “And of course, I am going to get you to like me, you tried to poison me!”

Kaito jumped, “What?! Mikan would never do that!”

“Oh, yes, you know your friends  _ so _ well.” She looked at Maki and shrugged. Celestia Ludenberg would throw the attention onto the assassin, but there was still something nagging inside of her telling Celeste not to do it. “You already know, Maki. I lie to survive. That is what I did.”

Maki couldn’t look at her.

Celeste took a step back. “You are all nothing but pathetic wastes of my time. Kaede is the only one of you that is truly valuable to me. If I had to go through the rest of you to get to her, so be it. That is the game we play. I admit, I played a little too hard and I ended up losing. But that does not mean I will never play again.”

Celeste watched the realization soak into their minds. The person they had come to know was all a lie. There was anger, frustration, confusion hovering over their bodies, but none of these emotions overshadowed the overwhelming sense of guilt in the air. They all felt they should’ve known this was coming. It wasn’t just that Celeste had betrayed them, but that replaying events of the last few months should’ve made it clear that she was never part of the team. She was never their friend.

Shuichi, dejected and with slumped shoulders, said, “If you hate us that much… then why don’t you just leave…?”

She felt her heart sink. She finally was able to push her friends away and while no one said anything, she could tell they all agreed with him. Kaito seemed reluctant, but he still chose to bite his tongue. Celeste never expected it to hurt this much. As much as she did care about them, they didn’t matter to Celestia Ludenberg. One last ounce of her wished it didn’t have to be this way. She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “But we have not finished our bet. I must stay here until I can beat Maki at fifty push-ups.”

“Hm. Fine.” Maki dropped to the ground and held herself up by her fists. Celeste got down, as usual, but no one else followed her. “Kaito,” Maki said with an empty voice, “count us down.”

Kaito sighed and without any of his usual energy, he droned, “Three… two… one.” He waved his arm, signaling for them to go, and looked away.

The few were surprisingly easy, even without Kaede to hold her up. Her muscle had grown in the months she had trained with them and Kaito no longer had a reason to call her Eight-Point-Five anymore. It was a little awkward having Shuichi and Mikan watching her with looks of disappointment and hatred, respectively, but it wasn’t like Celeste hadn’t seen those looks before. She only wished they weren’t on her friends’— ex-friends’— faces.

It wasn’t until Celeste got halfway through her push-ups that she noticed Maki wasn’t moving. This made her pause; she planned on making Maki let her win, but she didn’t expect her to do it on her own. She looked Maki in the eye, knowing that this was it. Their relationship could’ve gotten so close, but Celestia Ludenberg got in the way. They could’ve lived in her gothic castle together. She could’ve gotten closer to all of them, but this was what had to be done. There was nothing Celeste could think to comfort herself other than ‘Too bad.’

Celeste kept going, masking the pain in her heart with the burning in her arms. Eventually, she reached fifty on her own for the first time. After months of training, she won but lost her friends in the process. She stood up and wiped the dirt off of her hands. “Well then. That is that. It is over.”

Silence.

“...There is no need for me to linger. I will be taking my leave, now.” She sighed and curtseyed. “Goodbye.” She turned her backs to them and started walking back to her room. She didn’t want to leave her friends behind, but this was the path of Celestia Ludenberg.

This is what it felt like to lose. She was reckless, acted out of paranoia, out of emotions rather than intellect, and lost. With each step, her shoes felt like weights and her shoulders drooped. Two powerful forces were tugging at each other, one telling her to bottle her feelings and throw them away and the other saying to turn around and beg for forgiveness. The pulls were at equal strength, making Celeste stop in place.

Kaito’s words echoed inside of her.

_ “If you live a life without real connections, then you’re beyond pathetic, you’re a goddamn loser.” _

She had ruined every connection she made. She got what she wanted— she was Celestia Ludenberg now— but she lost everyone. No servants, no friends, no Kaede. Even if she achieved her goal, Celeste was still a pathetic loser.

Loser.

Loser.

Loser…

With no one left to support her, she bent her head back and looked up at the stars in desperation, a tear falling from her eye. Her problems were minuscule. In the grand scheme of the universe, they didn’t matter. If only it felt that way. If only there was some force out there that could help her.

A loud voice boomed behind her.  _ “Celestiaaaaa!” _

Startled, she wiped the tear from her cheek and turned around, seeing Kaito bolt towards her. He grabbed her by her shoulders again. “What did you just do?!”

“Wh-What?”

His pleading voice cracking, he stressed again, “What did you just do just now?!”

“I am leaving!”

“No, you— you looked up at the stars.”

She just wanted this to end. “So what if I did?”

He gave a bittersweet frown. “I told you to do that when you felt lonely. When you felt like you couldn’t rely on your friends. You listened to me.”

Shuichi, Mikan, and Maki ran up to him, the latter stating, “What are you doing, Kaito? Let her go.”

He turned to her with rage spewing out of his mouth. “I’m not gonna abandon one of my sidekicks! Did all you guys forget that we’re a team?! What did we spend months of training for if we were just gonna abandon her?!”

Mikan grumbled. “She admitted to lying to us!”

Kaito shook his head. “My gut’s tellin’ me there’s somethin’ wrong. The Eight-Point-Five we know cares about us.” He rotated back to Celeste. “But the one I’m looking at right now is a mask. You aren’t the real Celeste. Do you remember when you told me you needed us to hate you?” That’s right; before Celeste decided to wear Shuichi’s hat, she had gone to Kaito for help. This was back when she didn’t know what to do with her guilt for tricking Kaede. He squeezed her arms tight. “That’s what you’re doing right now. You want us to hate you. When you looked up at the stars, I saw how lost you were and a lost sidekick becomes a villain. I’m not gonna let you become the villain, Eight-Point-Five.”

His words struck a chord in her heartstrings. She didn’t want to be the villain either, but she had to be. These were the consequences of slipping into her true self in front of other people; they could use it as evidence against her. Any gambler should know not to reveal her tells, but she had gotten too comfortable with him. Weakness. “Imbecile!” Celeste stepped back. “Your gut feeling is not proof!”

“You’re my sidekick. I’m not gonna give up on you.” He dropped onto the ground, crossing his legs. “I’m gonna wait right here and I’m gonna listen to the truth straight from your mouth. You’re a part of the team. We all care about you just as much as you care about us. Right, guys?”

They were listening, but no one moved.

“You guys don’t really think she hates us, do you? Think back; weren’t there times you guys felt like you saw the real Celeste? The one that wasn’t hiding behind a mask?”

Kaito’s speech got to Shuichi first. “...I don’t want to believe you hate us, Celeste. I don’t want to believe you were just using us to get to Kaede. Maybe I’m just in denial, but…” He took some time to think. “I don’t want to start anything but Kyoko always told me to stay away from you. Kaede never believed her and once I got to know you, I didn’t believe her either. Kaede even got Kyoko to admit she was wrong about you.”

“Kaede is stubborn,” Celeste rebutted. “I suspect Kyoko only said that to appease—”

“Why’d you wear my hat, Celeste?” He interrupted.

“Obviously, if she is to be my servant, I cannot have her disliking me. I wore it to keep the peace.”

“Then why shake up the peace in the first place? Why get the imposter to impersonate you?”

Celeste remained calm. “Revenge. I wanted revenge for her spilling my secrets,” she lied.

“You didn’t want Kaede to hate you, but you purposefully got revenge on her?” Shuichi, like the true detective he was, confidently used the facts against her. “That doesn’t add up.”

“I got my revenge and moved on. Your hat was damage control.”

He shook his head. “You seemed surprised at Kaede’s reaction. You even asked me if I thought she would be okay. When I said I wasn’t sure,  _ that _ was when you asked for my hat.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What is your point? You are only confirming that my actions were based around Kaede and not around you.”

“...You’re right. I don’t have any proof that you wore my hat to help me feel better, but…” He clutched his shirt. “There’s a certain  _ thing _ I know about you, Celeste. I told you I wouldn’t tell anyone because I wanted you to trust me. I still haven’t told anyone. Do you remember that night? You said some pretty harsh things to me.”

Of course, she remembered. She regretted every word.

He continued, “You’re a gambler. You say things in the heat of the moment to protect yourself. You know how to lie. I don’t know why, but I think Kaede’s confession did something to you. I think you lied in the heat of the moment and you’re not backing down from that lie.” He huffed, gaining confidence. “I’m sorry for not trusting you. For me, training is believing in myself and the truth. I just… I just know there’s more to it than what you’re telling us and, just like Kaito, I believe in you too.” He smiled and sat down next to Kaito.

Mikan, looking at Kaito and Shuichi, aggressively played with her hands. She was so fickle with her opinions that she was having a hard time trusting her friends. “Before we started training together, you once threatened that you hire assassins to kill people you don’t like. When we did start training, you hardly talked to me. You barely even looked at me.” Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. “But I watched you. I knew you were up to something ever since I found you lurking behind the bushes. And when you first hurt Kaede, I knew I was right all along. You saying this was all a long con isn’t surprising to me. But—”

Mikan grit her teeth and pulled at her hair. “Sometimes, I saw something in you that went against your words. I thought you cared about Kaede. I  _ knew _ that you did. I’ve known ever since you cut my hair. What does setting me up with Gonta have anything to do with getting Kaede to like you?! Even if you were making it up to me, you didn’t have to do all of that! I can’t… I can’t tell if you were trying to help me or to keep me from hating you!” She took slow steps towards Celeste, getting in her face. “When I look at you now… I can see the mask Kaito is talking about.”

Celeste frowned. She was losing control of the situation, but she wasn’t entirely sure that was a bad thing.

“And I can see the real you. I can see the regret in your eyes.” Suddenly, she screamed. “Why?! Why are you lying to us?! I don’t understand! Gggggh! I wanna believe you’re my friend that I can watch movies with and the only one who understands what my parents are like! Why are you like this?! I just want to know!” She fell to the ground, plopping right next to Shuichi.

Only Maki remained with her arms crossed. Celeste rolled her eyes and slapped her hand to her side, awaiting Maki’s response. “Well?”

“You’re an asshole, Celeste.”

“I know.”

“...But you don’t have to be. The promise you made, you didn’t have to say that to get me to like you. We were… we were already friends. You didn’t have to say all of that to get to Kaede.” Maki crinkled her nose in frustration and played with her hair. “I told you I wanted to live in peace with a friend and you made an offer. That’s a lifetime commitment that had nothing to do with Kaede. You’re the only one that gets what I have to go through.” She put her palm on her forehead, frustrated. “I don’t know what the hell your problem is, but you told me you liked Kaede. Nothing you do _ever_ makes sense to me—” With a dramatic sigh, Maki sat down, “but I want to understand.”

None of them acted as they were supposed to. They were supposed to hate her with every fiber of their beings. They were meant to abandon her and eventually move on with their lives, preferably forgetting she ever existed. Why couldn’t they make any of this easy? Why did Celeste have to confront the complicated feelings love gave her? Why did all love, romantic or platonic, have to leave such a deep hole in her heart?

She wanted the pain to go away. Celeste didn’t want to live a tormented life anymore. She never wanted to be evil and she never wanted to hurt the people she cared about, but Celeste thought that was the only way to live a happy life. So far, it was making it worse. Her conscience was getting in the way, something she couldn’t get rid of. Previously, she thought it was the small amount of love that was left inside of her that prevented her from moving forward, but it was her hatred of society and herself that was doing that. It took the love of six people— her dad, Kaede, Kaito, Maki, Shuichi, and Mikan— for her to realize it.

Kaito reached out, gesturing for her to sit down. “C’mon, Celestia,” he said softly, “we care about you. Tell us what’s wrong.” Long ago, Kaito had said that for her, training was to learn how to trust people. The people sitting in front of her weren’t props, acquaintances, or allies; they were her teammates. They were her friends.

Celeste could trust her friends.

“...You wanna know the truth? Fine.” Dropping her fake accent, she slowly crumbled to the ground. Celeste hunched over her crossed legs and hugged herself, staring blankly at the grass. “The truth is… I’m cursed.”

_ “...C-Curse?!” _ Kaito freaked.

Maki rolled her eyes. “Stop being so dramatic, Celeste.”

“H-Hold on, Maki-roll.” The mention of a supernatural force sent a shiver down Kaito’s spine. “Let her talk.” Despite his fears, he was open to listening to Celeste explain herself. He put his hands on top of his head in an attempt to calm himself down.

“I can’t be happy,” Celeste clarified, “I can’t know love or peace or joy. Even if I feel any of those things for a moment, something happens and it all goes away. My entire life is chasing a carrot on a string. It doesn’t matter what I do; I’ll never get it. I thought the only way to escape the curse was to be someone else, but curses always find a way.”

Celeste knew she was being a little over the top, but a curse was genuinely what it felt like. Surprisingly, instead of immediately dispelling it, Kaito asked more about it. “How d-did you get cursed?”

“It’s passed down from my family, tied to my family’s name.”

Mikan squinted. “Ludenberg?” She didn’t know the meaning behind the foreign name.

“No,” Celeste corrected. “My real name. Shuichi already knows.”

“We mixed up our student handbooks,” Shuichi explained to everyone. “She told me not to tell anyone.”

Celeste reached into her pocket. “Here.” She pulled out her ehandbook and extended it for anyone to take. “So there’s no doubt I’m telling the truth.” Maki took it from her and, with everyone leaning in, pressed the button to reveal Celeste’s real name. “My name is Taeko Yasuhiro. Do you see the irony in my name? My surname means abundant honesty and widespread peace. That’s where the curse is. I’m not honest and I’ll never know peace.” Celeste lowered her head further. “I’m sorry, Kaito.”

He snapped up. “Me? Why are you apologizin’ to me?”

“You once said my name meant I was born from the stars. That is why you use my full name instead of my nickname, yeah? Because my name means a lot to you? I’m sorry I lied to you.” Paranoid anger boiled in her gut. “Are you happy now that you know? Do you feel better knowing your friend’s a fraud? That I’m not as extravagant as I appear, but instead have a loser’s name?”

He blinked, trying to find the right words. “...It’s just a name. Besides,” he gave her a warm smile and patted her on the back, “you’re still Eight-Point-Five to me.”

Maki nodded in understanding. “So that’s why your voice is different now.”

“Yeah,” Celeste confirmed. “This is my natural voice. My pitch, my mannerisms, my vocabulary; all fabrications.” She did a light shrug with one shoulder. “Well, I guess not my vocabulary and sentence structure. I  _ am _ well-read— that’s true.”

Mikan’s jaw dropped. “You made up a completely different persona and personality?”

“Correct. The person before you is the real me.”

Mikan bit her cheek. “I think I’ve heard your real voice before now. When you were fighting with Kaede about Shuichi’s hat. If that’s your real voice, then what you said was genuine.” Self-doubt veiled over Mikan’s body. “Gggggh. I don’t know. I’m probably wrong…”

Shuichi comforted, “No, Mikan, I think you’re right. I don’t remember the details, but I remember Celeste saying everything she said was on purpose. You were talking about your Celestia Ludenberg persona, right?”

Celeste shrugged. “I was so angry that I hardly remember what I said myself. But yeah, everything I do is so I can become Celestia Ludenberg.”

Maki wasn’t getting it. “Why?”

“If you would  _ listen, _ Maki, I  _ said _ I’m cursed!”

“Say a real reason.”

“Because I—” she growled, unsure if it was targeted at Maki’s insensitivity or at what she knew the answer to be. “I can’t  _ be _ Taeko. Taeko is weak; she has nothing, she  _ is _ nothing. I wanna  _ be  _ somebody, I wanna be away from my terrible life—” She pressed her palms to her temples. “I just want it all to go away…” She felt tears welling up, knowing she was going to have to confess. They were all going to know her secret. Her friends were going to see how worthless she was. The more people who knew, the less likely it was for her to escape. “I just want my castle. I just want to be away from everything.”

Kaito asked the dreaded question. “What are you running away from?”

She squeezed her knees. “I… I don’t live in a mansion with a noble father and a musician mother. I live in… in a… in a small apartment. A very, very small apartment. I live there with my dad, who works two jobs, and my mom who doesn’t have one.” Her admission caused her shoulders to tighten. “I don’t think any of you understand what it’s like to be trapped in a house where it’s uncertain if you’re going to be living there next month. Even two working-class jobs were barely enough. One significant earthquake had us out on the street for a while. The only way to get us enough money to live without fear was for me to do my part and start gambling. But it didn’t change my home life. Even if we had money, my parents were still soulless monsters. My mother is a cruel, soulless, rage-filled human being— if I can even call her that. She doesn’t care about me. My father, he—” She hesitated, remembering the events from last night.

“He betrayed you,” Kaito recalled. “You gave him money so you two could run away, but he gave it to your mom instead. I remember you telling me that.”

“...No. That’s not… it’s not the whole story. I thought it was, but he sent me—” The rush of guilt overpowered her, causing her to weep with words so high-pitched that they were almost incoherent. “He sent me these letters that I didn’t see until last night saying he loved me and I thought all this time that he didn’t and I don’t— It’s my fault, it’s my fault. I don’t understand why he loves me when it’s my fault and it doesn’t make any sense because my mom said the same thing but I know she doesn’t love me—” Kaito removed his jacket and wrapped it around Celeste’s back to comfort her. “—so when he says it, it’s all so confusing and I don’t know who to believe. I’m so sure that my mom doesn’t care about me at all, but I felt the same way with my dad and I was wrong. It’s just all so confusing!”

She looked up at them. They were all listening intently without judgment. Maki’s face made it clear she was having a hard time relating, but that didn’t mean she didn’t care. At the same time, Mikan’s tears flowed with Celeste’s, empathizing with her complex emotions.

She could always rely on Shuichi for being a step ahead. “So, when Kaede said she liked you—”

“I-I panicked!” Celeste shouted. “It doesn’t make sense— I spent my whole life knowing that I can’t love, but everything is so confusing and I just… I have to be Celestia Ludenberg. I have to be alone. That’s the only way I can separate myself from my horrible family. I had to betray her. I had to betray you guys. Now that you know,” she put her face in her hands, “I don’t know what to do now. I don’t know where my life is going to go. I’m too evil to have friends like you guys and I’m too evil for Kaede to like me.” Celeste collapsed onto her side, falling into Mikan’s lap. “Kaede is a wonderful person. I don’t deserve someone like her… I never wanted to hurt anyone. I’m sorry…!”

Mikan rubbed Celeste’s head. She looked at everyone else, not sure what to say. Maki was the only one who didn’t accept the gravity of the situation. “This is so stupid,” Maki said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You told Kaede you manipulated her because you  _ do _ like her? That’s essentially what you’re saying?”

“There is more to it than that—”

“But that’s it in general, right?”

“You can’t generalize—”

Maki threw her hands out. “You were willing to throw away your only friendships because you like Kaede?”

Celeste caved in at the sound of Maki’s raised voice. “It’s the curse I have to live with.”

“You’re an idiot. You really can’t do anything without doing the most dramatic thing possible, can you?”

“I— Well, what else am I supposed to do?!”

“Why don’t you just,” she shrugged sarcastically, “talk to Kaede? Why didn’t you tell us from the beginning what was going on?”

Celeste sat up and leaned forward, fuming at Maki’s statements. “People look down on the poor! You think I can just confess—”

“No,  _ you  _ look down on the poor. None of  _ us _ care.” Everyone else shook their heads, confirming that none of them thought much about where she came from. “Some people, maybe, but we’re your friends. And I don’t think Kaede would care either. Just explain to her what happened and we can fix this.”

Celeste pulled back, turtling herself under Kaito’s jacket. Even if she explained herself, she felt like she had done too much to Kaede. “What’s the point? She won’t wanna talk to me anyway. It’s too late; I fucked everything up.”

Kaito reassured her. “It’s never too late to get better.”

“Why would she listen to me now? Twice, I’ve betrayed her.”

Mikan put two worried fists under her chin. “That doesn’t mean you can’t say you’re sorry.” She realized she wasn’t taking her own advice. “A-And I’m sorry for saying Maki should kill you. I didn’t mean it, I was just— Ah! There’s no excuse! Please forgive me!”

“I don’t care; I forgive you,” Celeste accepted. “I get why you said that. I’m evil; I brought it on myself. It’s not like Kaede would want to date someone as evil as I am, especially after all of this.” As she admitted to hating herself, more tears fell.

Shuichi asserted, “First thing’s first, Kaede’s your friend. You should apologize to your friend, even if she won’t date you.”

“But—”

Maki pointed at her with cold, but passionate anger in her voice. “Stop making excuses. All you do is whine and blame other things for your problems. I don’t care how awful your life is and I don’t care if you’re not capable of love or empathy. None of that stuff makes you a bad person. Your actions make you a bad person. Take responsibility for the bad things you did and try to make it better.”

Celeste cried harder, knowing Maki was right.

Not wanting her to cry, Kaito tried to ease the tension. “Uh— what Maki-roll means to say is—”

Maki corrected, “I meant what I said. You’re the one that told me life’s full of endless possibilities, you just had to find a way to get what you want, even if you don’t see it immediately. There’s always an option to be better, so no more excuses. Whether Kaede accepts your apology or not, we’ll still be here for you. It’s gonna be okay, but only if you do something about it. If you sit around and accept that your life sucks, it’s not gonna get better.”

Maki’s success was entirely dependent on Celeste, so of course, she would say something like that. But even though she was saying it harshly, she was right, only relaying back what Celeste had said to her. If Celeste hadn’t started gambling to change her situation, she wouldn’t be here right now. If Celeste didn’t accept that she was evil, maybe she could love Kaede and she wouldn’t feel so paranoid about anyone finding out the truth.

Mikan spoke from the heart, doing her best to chose the right words. “I know what it’s like to be afraid of love. My parents tell me they love me, too, and I’m not sure if they mean it either. But the more that Gonta loves me, the more I know what real love is. I don’t know if love really is an emotion, I think it’s a skill that you learn. Maybe my parents do love me and they just don’t know how to do it right, but if they really cared, they’d learn how. It sounds like you want to love Kaede, you just don’t know how or you’re afraid of messing up.”

Shuichi agreed. “And it’s not like you can’t learn either. Hope’s Peak Academy doesn’t just train Ultimate Talents, we learn other things too. I think you can learn to love.”

Kaito clapped his hands together, confident that Celeste could succeed. “Love isn’t easy for everyone, but everyone is allowed to feel it. Just tell Kaede how you feel and you guys can move on from there.”

She was terrified of the consequences, but even if there was a small possibility that things would be okay, that she could be a better person, Celeste would try. “Thank you all, really.” She uncontrollably sobbed again. “I don’t— I don’t deserve any of you.”

“Aw, yeah you do! C’mere!” Kaito pulled her in for a hug, followed by Mikan and Shuichi.

Maki rolled her eyes.

“Get in here, Maki-roll!”

She groaned but eventually came in as well. “You guys are annoying.”

With the support of her friends, Celeste finally saw the light to a new path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And things finally start looking up.


	32. A Cursed Morning (Remix)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank god the American inauguration didn't end with another coup attempt like what was promised. Now that the stress of that is gone, I'll hopefully be able to focus again.
> 
> Anyway, here's a chapter in which I draw parallels to the first few chapters that hardly anyone will remember because it was a whole pandemic and president ago.

_ Ding Dong, Bing Bong _

“Rise and shine, ursine!”

“This is an official Hope’s Peak Academy announcement,” Monotaro introduced.

“It’s 8 a.m., bitches!” Monokid shouted. “Time to rock and roll out of bed! Hell yeah!”

“It’s Tuesday,” Monosuke announced. “It’s a little chilly on this fine September day.”

Monodam spoke up. “WEAR-A-JACKET.”

“Or else you’ll be…” Monokid played a loud riff on his guitar.  _ “CUUUUUURSED!” _

Monosuke jumped up. “With hypothermia!”

Monotaro put his paw on his forehead. “Not this cursed thing again… We already did that!”

“IT’S-BEEN-SIX-MONTHS. WE’RE-RUNNING-OUT-OF-IDEAS.”

Monophanie put on an animatronic coat. “If you don’t have a jacket, you can buy one from the school store! Or you can have a friend lend you one.” There were suddenly hearts in her eyes. “Oh! Or maybe a partner! Do you think any love birds are running around right now?” She shivered with excitement. “Aaaw! It would be so cute seeing someone get a warm jacket from their partner—”

With all her might, Kaede threw her phone at the monitor, shattering it and dropping shards all over her floor. Her phone hit against the monitor’s inner wiring, sending a few sparks flying. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. Everything she had thought to be true was a lie; her friendship, her love, maybe even her sexuality. With her identity up in the air, a little bit of property damage didn’t mean anything.

Why did this have to happen to her? How could Kaede have been so gullible, so  _ stupid _ to not see that Celeste was manipulating her? It was Kaede’s fault for being so self-righteous that she couldn’t see the truth. She wanted to fix Celeste and even after she convinced herself to not do that anymore, the desire remained, morphing into what she perceived to be love. She cared about Celeste as much as her other friends, maybe even more, but Celeste’s feelings were unrequited. She remembered Byakuya’s words from months ago, the Byakuya who she learned was an imposter.

_ “Don’t get involved. We’ve all tried.” _

If she had listened to them, she wouldn’t be here. If she hadn’t overslept that one day, she wouldn’t be here. No, she couldn’t blame one moment, it was all the times she ignored Celeste’s requests to leave her alone. Everyone warned her to stay away, but she didn’t listen. Celeste even told Kaede she couldn’t love.

Kaede didn’t know what was wrong with her. Why did she fall for someone so evil? Why did the first girl she like manipulate her? Did she even like girls, or was it just the girl who tricked her? If she were to like another girl, would they do the same thing to her? Was Kaede attracted to evil people?

She slouched onto the side of her bed. The worst part was that she still had feelings for Celeste. Despite everything, she couldn’t help but wonder what things could’ve been like if everything were real. She didn’t want to still love Celeste, but it wasn’t like the feelings would go away in an instant. Kaede knew what Celeste did was awful and still liking her after everything disgusted her.

Her phone buzzed in the remains of the monitor so many times that it wasn’t clear if she had gotten a ton of text messages or was receiving a call. The same thing happened last night, but Kaede ignored it. Whoever was trying to reach her was only going to send her into an emotional whiplash. Even when the vibrations slid her phone from out of the monitor and crashing to the ground, Kaede didn’t get up. Even when she got several knocks on her door, likely from her worried friends, she didn’t move. Instead, with puffy eyes, she stared at the numbers on her clock and watched them increase, dreaming of what could’ve been.

Kaede’s stomach growled at 8:54 in the morning. Celeste, at least the one she thought she knew, would get mad if she didn’t eat. Clinging to that last desire of Celeste actually caring about her, she got up and dragged her feet to the door, not bothering to freshen up or change out of the gym clothes she slept in. She put on her backpack that carried her e-handbook, pens and the notepad she used to plan out their sleepover, sheet music that she didn’t feel like composing anything on, her phone—

Her phone. Kaede turned away from her front door to look at her phone on the floor. She could check to see what everyone was saying, but she wasn’t in the mood to talk right now. She ignored it and left.

The dining hall was nearly empty compared to how it usually would be if she had arrived thirty minutes earlier. Six months into the school year and the slackers barely changed. Hifumi and Leon were gone, likely deciding to eat with new friends they made at earlier times in the day.

Angie stood on top of the table with all the food. She held her arms into the air, taking in divinity. “With this meal, we accept Atua’s love inside of us!”

“What the fuck?!” The newest slacker, Miu, screamed. “I’m not lettin’ your fantasy daddy cum in my mouth!” She hugged herself. “If any man’s gonna nut in this sexy-ass body of mine, we’re making babies!”

“BABIIIIIIIIES!” Ibuki sang. She paused and turned to Miu. “...Wait, what?”

“Don’t matter! Let’s get this thing workin’!” Miu pointed to the contraption tied to her waist that had two wired hands poking out the back. “With this bad boy, I’ll be able to eat without movin’. This’ll be the most important invention in history!”

Angie hopped down. “Fire away!”

With the push of a button, Miu’s latest invention reached for one of the pancakes on the table. Unfortunately for her, it didn’t look like it was working correctly and it threw it right in her face. The other arm did this too, except it grabbed a scoop of scrambled eggs. Miu jumped back at the impact but with each attempt to stop the machine, it would just move faster, grabbing everything on the table and slamming it into Miu’s face. She flailed her arms as Ibuki and Angie danced and sang around her like witches making a ritual around a fire.

Well. There went all the food.

Grabbing cereal out of the kitchen, Kaede ignored Teruteru and Kirumi’s worried looks. The only saving grace to all of this was that Teruteru didn’t say anything to her when she looked gross. He frowned and turned back to the fresh baguette baking in the oven. Sadly, Kirumi, responsible and nurturing, had to say something. “Kaede, are you—”

“Leave me alone,” Kaede said sharply as she poured her milk. Her tone was harsher than intended— Kirumi didn’t do anything wrong— but she was too exhausted to correct herself.

“...I see.” Kirumi bowed her head. “I apologize.” Even Kirumi’s politeness was too much for Kaede to handle; all she got were flashbacks to every respectful curtsey Celeste gave her. Were those just another part of her plan? She had to get away from Kirumi or else she’d burst into tears. She took her bowl and left.

Returning to the dining hall, Kaede looked around to find out where she could sit. There were plenty of empty seats and she had no interest in sitting with Angie, Ibuki, or Miu, but her head turned to see Byakuya, or rather Byakuya’s double, chowing down on their meal in the corner of the room. Celeste had manipulated them too and they never meant to harm Kaede. Maybe they’d understand.

She walked up to them. “Is it okay if I sit with you?” Her voice was as dreary as her heart.

They paused to look up at her, noting her old clothes, messy hair, and dried tears on her cheeks. Their face shifted from an annoyed grimace at the literal filthy commoner to deep concern. For Kaede, who already knew the truth, the imposter could stop acting. They nodded and gestured to the seat in front of them.

When Kaede sat down, all she did was stare at her bowl. It took a moment for her to realize that the imposter hadn’t moved either and was staring her up and down. They frowned, unsure of what to say. Kaede knew what they wanted to ask, so she provided a simple answer. “Celeste.”

They lifted their head in understanding. Reading that Kaede didn’t want to give any details, they only said, “I’m sorry.” The imposter placed a gentle hand over hers. She sighed and without saying another word to each other, the two of them ate their meals in silence.

At least it was silent until Kaede heard the door behind her creak open. Initially, Kaede didn’t care to see who it was, but as soon as she heard familiar high heels click against the floor, she felt her stomach sink. With her spoon frozen in front of her, Kaede contemplated looking over to confirm it was her. She didn’t want to look her in the eyes; she didn’t know if she’d start crying again or if rage would make her jump out of her seat and tackle her. She didn’t want to face her, but the clicking stopped only a few feet away from her, meaning she had stopped walking. She had to be looking at her, so Kaede looked back.

Kaede immediately locked into those red contacts, but Celeste's face wasn’t what she had expected. Her eyes were much wider than that of the sly fox who rejected Kaede and her inner eyebrows tilted up in sorrow. Her lips were parted as if she had something to say but the words stayed inside of her. It was a look of despair that could only be caused by viewing Kaede’s current state; the consequences of her actions. That wasn’t the look of the Celeste that manipulated Kaede, that was the face of the Celeste in the pool, the one that was too afraid to love.

Was Celeste trying to trick her again? What was the point? She already confessed to the truth, there was no need to pretend like she cared. A twinge in her heart felt like Celeste did regret everything, but Kaede wasn’t going to fall for it. She wasn’t going to be tricked again. Celeste wasn’t a part of the team anymore, she was going back to her old routine instead of eating earlier with everyone else. Kaede should’ve considered she would do that.

Celeste was the one who looked away first, sharply turning her head to the floor. She made a beeline to a table on the other side of the room. Kaede watched her sit and wait all by her lonesome, purposefully avoiding Kaede’s gaze. It was after her food was brought out to her and she lathered her baguette with jam that Celeste made eye contact with Kaede again, only for her eyes to fall to her plate once more. The once coy and confident Celestia Ludenberg was now shy and anxious, her face closer to her plate and her shoulders drooping. With one hand on her head, she pulled out her phone and presumably sent a text or two. She’d occasionally lift her eyes and as soon as she knew Kaede was still staring at her, she’d return to her phone and cave in on herself.

It didn’t feel right seeing her sit alone. Celeste was always adamant about sharing a meal with someone, so seeing her eat by herself was like watching a sad, sick kitten hide under a couch. This had to be her trying to make Kaede feel guilty, right? Maybe Celeste was still trying to make Kaede her servant. It wasn’t fair and Kaede wasn’t going to put up with it.

She stood up, looked Celeste in the eye, and stomped out of the dining hall, not bothering to put her bowl away.

Slamming her dorm room door behind her, Kaede eyed her phone that was still on the floor. She’d have to look eventually. She picked it up, seeing the dozens of texts individually sent by her friends both last night and that morning.

**Shuichi Saihara:** We just talked to Celeste. She does like you but was too scared to admit it. It was a lot. She wants to apologize and I think you should talk to her.

**Kaito Momota:** yo kaede u gud? 8.5 lied 2 u. shes got a big crush on u but shes got a lot of issus. shes rly sry and wants 2 tell u. u think u can give her 1 last chance?

**Mikan Tsumiki:** KAEDEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! i know youre really upset right now and i want to let you know im here for you always!!! what celeste said was terrible and im so sorry that happened to you and i shouldve said something a long time ago and maybe you wouldnt be in this situation. celeste really reaaaaaally likes you and ive known for a while but i thought things would be fine on their own. i didnt think about the fact that celeste lies a lot and im really sorry for not telling you sooner. im so stupid im sorry!!!!!!!!

**Maki Harukawa:** You and Celeste both like each other, but Celeste decided she wanted to be a big baby about it. Talk to her so this stupid drama ends. Or don’t. I wouldn’t if I were in your position.

**Shuichi Saihara:** Hey, are you doing okay? Please let me know.

**Kaito Momota:** yoooo r u comin 2 breakfast? has 8.5 said anything 2 u yet? she hasnt shown up 2 breakfast either. i knocked on both of ur doors but neither of u answered. i hope ur both okay

**Mikan Tsumiki:** ARE YOU SICK?? SAD???? NOOOOOOOO!!!!! i want you to be happy and i think you should talk to celeste!! i think everything will be okay if you just talk it out!!!

**Maki Harukawa:** Celeste keeps texting me saying she’s too scared to talk to you. End my misery and talk to her.

What? Celeste wanted to apologize? For what? Purposefully breaking Kaede’s heart? Did she trick her friends too? Surely, she couldn’t trick all of them, right? They all said Celeste  _ did _ like Kaede, but if that were true, why would she lie and say that she didn’t? Wouldn’t it make more sense for Celeste to have been manipulating her? No matter how much she didn’t want it, no matter how much her heart jumped seeing that Celeste apparently did reciprocate her feelings, it would be so much easier to believe Celeste was just a bad person who wanted Kaede for her skill and nothing else. But Celeste was more nuanced than that.

What was she supposed to do? How was Kaede supposed to get answers and closure when she couldn’t even look at Celeste without getting angry?

That was when there was a knock on her door. Kaede contemplated not answering as she did want to be left alone, but curiosity got the better of her. Maybe she could find comfort in whoever was out there. She cracked the door open, peering through with one eye. Kaede saw enough black to know exactly who it was.

“Hello,” Celeste waved, putting on a friendly face. “How are you?”

Kaede immediately slammed the door in her face. How dare she? She knew how ticked off Kaede was, how dare she come to her with a smile on her face like nothing was wrong?! Was that how she wanted to apologize? While smiling?! Screw her!

Another knock hit her door, this time softer and more cautious. Kaede swung the door open in a fit of rage.  _ “What?!” _ She immediately regretted her tone when she saw Celeste flinch, holding her arms close to herself.

“I…” Celeste frowned, “wish to speak with you privately.”

“Oh,  _ do you?” _

“May I come in?” Her body language was different than what Kaede is used to; she wasn’t nearly as poised as normal. Goddammit, why did Kaede have to feel bad for her? No, Kaede was going to tell her off. As long as Kaede kept her guard up, Celeste couldn’t weasel her way into her head with sad looks and a soft voice. “Fine.” Kaede repositioned her body to allow Celeste to step inside.

Celeste’s eyes fell to the shards of glass on the floor from the broken monitor. She sighed, knowing it was her fault that Kaede did that. It all felt so real; Celeste’s guilt seemed genuine. But it only seemed to be.

Kaede crossed her arms, baring herself. “You have thirty seconds.”

Celeste blinked. “Thirty seconds? That is hardly enough time.”

“Twenty-five.”

“Uh… okay.” Celeste took a deep breath. “Well… you see—”

“Twenty.”

Kaede watched Celeste’s lip quiver as tears made her eyes glossy. She couldn’t believe Celeste had the nerve to cry when she was the one at fault. “I deserve every drop of hatred you have for me.”

“Uh huh.”

“I… I am sorry for everything I said last night.”

She scoffed. “What the hell do you mean you’re sorry?”

It felt good to speak with spite, but worse when Celeste’s shoulders rose to her ears. “I lied to you. I told you that you mean nothing to me when in fact you are my dearest friend.”

Kaede turned around and shook her head. “You’re just going back and forth. ‘I wish I could love you, Kaede.’ ‘You mean nothing to me, Kaede.’ ‘You’re my best friend, Kaede—” She swung back around. “What the  _ hell _ are you saying, Celeste! You can’t keep doing this to me! I’m a person! I’m a person with feelings and you can’t just say whatever the hell you want because you think messing with me is fun! What the fuck is your  _ problem?!” _

“I’m sorry…!” Celeste whined, sobbing into her hands.

“No. No, I’m not falling for that crap, Celeste. I’m not falling for it anymore. Everyone’s telling me you wanna apologize and for what?! For telling me I mean nothing to you? For laughing in my face when I said I loved you?! For saying the last six months was a waste of your time?!”

“I… I am sorry for lying to you.” Kaede had never seen Celeste cry so hard. It was so much that the natural empath couldn’t stop her own tears from dropping too.

“Then what’s the truth?!”

“Kaede,” She put her hand over her chest, “I mean this with all of my heart, you are one of the greatest people I’ve ever met, and knowing that I tortured you is a chip in my soul that I cannot repair for the rest of my life.” She bowed, keeping her eyes to the floor. “I apologize to you not because I wish to return to another time or to necessarily mend our relationship, but to give you some peace of mind knowing why I did what I did. Yes, I hope that we can at the very least be friends again, but my main concern is to keep the good inside you. I know how it feels to be so betrayed that you turn into a monster. A lesser version of myself wished that upon you in some attempt at power and control, but now… I only wish for you to be okay and to move forward on a path that I wish I had taken years ago.”

Kaede loved the flowery talk as much as it pisses her off. Celeste always had a way of speaking in such an alluring way and knowing that it could be used to manipulate her made Kaede not want to hear it anymore. “I know what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to sound all romantic because you  _ know  _ I like you and you’re using that against me.”

Celeste lifted her head slightly, enough to look Kaede in the eyes. “...You still like me?”

Kaede took in a deep breath, shaking her head at the complicated question. “As a person, no. Not after all you’ve done.”

Her eyes fell. “Yes, well… I only meant to speak calmly and formally to ease the tension. There is no ill intent in my words. However, would you… prefer it if I were someone else?”

“Would I prefer it if you weren’t someone who’s so willing to control people so you can use them as props?” Kaede sassed. “Yeah, I’d prefer that.”

“...Okay.” Celeste stood up straight and swallowed. “This is going to be very difficult for you to believe but—” Her voice shifted and her European accent completely disappeared. “I’m not Celestia Ludenberg. My name’s Taeko Yasuhiro.”

Kaede recoiled.  _ “Taeko?” _

“Yeah. I’ve been lying to you and everyone this whole time. Last night, I told our friends— and I do mean our friends, not just yours— that I’ve never been who I said I was. Celestia Ludenberg doesn’t exist. That polite, cunning, extravagant girl isn’t real. I’m…” She gestured to herself, “me.”

Kaede didn’t accept it. Celeste had proved herself to be an incredible liar but this was unbelievable. “Uh-uh. No. No way. You can’t just pretend like someone else was the one that hurt me. You can’t just  _ say _ whatever you want to make things easier on yourself! If you wanna apologize, fess up and admit that _ you _ manipulated me, Celeste!”

“I  _ am _ fessing up! I’m trying to tell you that I lied about tricking you; everything you said last night was right! Every second of growing affection between us has been real. But when you came to me with your intense gaze and a stance like you were ready to fight me— Ugh!” Celeste held her chest as if she had just gotten a heart attack. “You do such strange things to me, dear. I shouldn’t be able to feel my heart bounce every time you look at me. And your confession… I knew it was coming but actually hearing you reciprocate my feelings sent me into a state of madness!”

Celeste _did_ like Kaede? When why did she say she didn’t?! “Why are you still lying to me? Why do you think I’m just gonna believe anything you say now?! You’ve tricked me _twice_ now and I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to believe anything you say anymore! How am I supposed to know that this isn’t just you trying to get me to like you again?!”

“You want me to give you proof that I’m being honest right now? F-Fine. Kaede, dear, I will show you that you truly mean more to me than anyone else in this world.” Celeste carefully dropped to her knees and, after a deep breath, pressed her forehead to the floor. “A-All my life, I knew I would never let anyone think of me as inferior to them. My wh-whole life has been nothing but a tin can on the street that is only meant to be kicked out of boredom. I just want people to see me as someone worthy; that’s all I’ve ever wanted. But for you, Kaede, I’ll put all of my pride away and beg for you to believe me that I’m telling the truth.” She lifted her head for a moment to yell, “Don’t tell anyone I’m doing this!”

It was true, Celeste would never be caught dead begging, or at least Celestia Ludenberg. This was the real Celeste who had grown so close to Kaede that she was willing to think of Kaede before herself.

“Let me be clear,” Celeste said to the floor, “I’m not begging for forgiveness, I won’t force that on you, but th-this is me confessing that I’m being genuine. I’m not gonna lie to you. Everything I’m going to say is going to be true. You have my word. I’ll tell you anything you want.”

“...You’re serious? You’re really gonna tell me the truth?”

“Yeah.” She glanced up. “...Can I get up now—”

“No. Stay like that,” Kaede commanded, testing how much control she had over her.

“Okay…”

Kaede could feel the heat of revenge and the sin of wrath getting to her head. There were so many things Kaede could do to her; push her, kick her, take a picture and send it to everyone. But Kaede was a better person now and the guilt of getting revenge on someone she called a friend would overpower her. She didn’t want the desire to control what everyone did, she wanted to love and accept her friends for who they were and if this was the same Celeste that she had become friends with, then she wanted to listen to what she had to say.

“...Why?” Kaede asked in a hushed volume. “Why would you lie to me?”

Celeste sniffled, “I was scared. I dedicated my whole life to becoming Celestia Ludenberg. I thought I was meant to be alone but once I got to know you, everything started changing. I could only think about the two of us together. I don’t… I don’t know who I am anymore. If I can love you, then I’m not Celestia Ludenberg and I have to be. I have to be.”

“Why do you have to be someone you’re not?”

“Because otherwise, I’d be nothing but a speck of pavement in the road, designed to be stepped on. I just wanna be important, I just want someone to know I exist.”

“But why couldn’t you be a nice person? Why did you choose to be the worst person you can be?”

Celeste hesitated. “I don’t know… that’s just what I thought I had to be. I thought my whole family was soulless and I had to be too. I don’t know— It doesn’t make sense when I say it but that’s… please believe me when I say that’s what I thought.”

Kaede hated seeing her like this. As much as it was sweet revenge, she proved her point that she was being honest. Kaede bent down and helped her stand to her feet. As Celeste wiped her face on her sleeve, Kaede paced away from her with her hands on her hips. “I can’t believe you. Like, I get what you’re saying but,” she put her hand on her forehead, “I don’t get why, of all the things you could do, you decided to become someone else. It would make sense if you were just like that as a gambler, like, you had to protect your identity, but you’re like this  _ outside _ of gambling. You  _ chose _ to hurt me because… because  _ why?! _ ” She spun around and stomped to Celeste. “You know I like you! How could you do this to me?! And you— you like me too?!”

Celeste turned her head in shame. “Y-Yeah…”

“So why?!” Kaede screamed.

“I just told you why!” Celeste returned, jumping at Kaede’s outburst.

Kaede grabbed her shoulders. “But  _ why?! _ Why does it have to be like this?!”

“Because… because because because—” Celeste could barely get out the truth. “Because I know that you wouldn’t like me otherwise! You like  _ Celestia Ludenberg,  _ not Taeko Yasuhiro! Celestia Ludenberg is a terrible person and you  _ still _ liked her because she’s much better than that other fucking lowlife!”

“Why— Why are you talking about yourself like you’re two separate people? They’re both  _ you! _ ”

“You see?! You’re calling me a lowlife!”

“I didn’t say that, that’s what you called yourself! I wouldn’t ever think of someone like that!”

“Oh?  _ Never? _ You’ve never thought of someone as lesser or inferior to you?!”

Kaede backed off, clenching her jaw.

“I told you that’s why you intrigued me. Because you know. You know how this world works. You know that there’s a pecking order and that there are people on the top and people on the bottom. You’re able to hide amongst everyone else and pretend like there isn’t and that’s how you can sneak your way to the top. You surround yourself with people with personalities who you know aren’t as strong as yours so you can feel like you’re the leader.” Celeste counted on her fingers, “Shuichi, Maki, Mikan— yes, they’re our friends and there’s nothing particularly wrong with their personalities, but you know damn well you can tell them to do anything and they’d do it. And I’ve seen how you are with Kaito and how he calls himself a leader. You wanna be just like that. You want people to follow you around.” When Kaede hadn’t said anything, Celeste asked. “Tell me, what is it about me that you like.”

She didn’t want to admit it, but Celeste was right. Kaede remembered back to the first time she started to get feelings for Celeste, way back to before she even realized it. Back when they made their bet with the goliath beetle. “...I like your confidence. Your fearlessness. How you can do and say whatever you want without letting anyone tell you otherwise.” She unknowingly crossed her arms. “And how much you’re aware of it.”

Celeste smirked. “And it pisses you off, doesn’t it?”

Kaede kept her mouth shut.

“It pisses you off how dominant I can be. I’m a challenge for you but you don’t wanna admit it. You wanna be nice, so the only way you can get power from me is by trying to fix me.”

“I don’t wanna do that anymore—”

“Yes, you do. I’ve known that’s what you wanted from the first time we met. You like Celestia Ludenberg because you butt heads over power.” Celeste huffed. “But Taeko isn’t like that. You wouldn’t like Taeko.”

Kaede needed to turn the tables. What sounded like Celeste insulting her taste was actually a thinly veiled mask of self-hate. **“** Maybe you’re right that I like your intensity, but that’s not all. That’s not the only thing I like about you because that’s not the only thing there  _ is _ to you. I think I’ve seen little snippets of Taeko, of the real you, and I like her too.”

“You’re mistaken.”

“Am I?” Kaede raised her eyebrows. “Okay. Okay. So, you know how I love your dresses, right? I love how dedicated you are to making your own clothes. I know I don’t have the patience to do something like that and I love how patient you are. So, tell me: was it Taeko or Celestia Ludenberg that made all of your dresses?”

Celeste blinked, unsure of what to say.

“Tell me.”

“Taeko,” Celeste replied reluctantly.

“Cool, okay. Believe it or not, I also like people who care about my wellbeing. So, who is it that gets upset when I forget to eat: Taeko or Celestia Ludenberg? Who insists that we all eat together so no one gets left out?”

“Taeko.” Food security was a sore spot for her. Celestia Ludenberg came from wealth and could eat anything she wanted. She wouldn’t care if Kaede didn’t eat.

“Sweet.” Kaede confidently shifted her weight. “And is it Taeko or Celestia Ludenberg that’s so creative and dramatic and  _ weird enough _ that she’s able to make up a persona and stick to it?”

“...Taeko.”

“So why the—” Kaede didn’t mean to get aggressive, but she pushed Celeste’s shoulder. “— _ hell _ would you think I wouldn’t like you?! I like you for  _ you, _ Celeste! I don’t care about your money or where you came from or your family history or whatever it is you think I would care about, it’s  _ you _ that I fell in love with! I like Taeko  _ and _ Celestia because they’re both  _ you! _ So I can’t—” She pushed her shoulder again. “— _ fucking _ believe that you would do all this crazy shit when I’ve been so goddamn clear that I love  _ all _ of you!”

The passive side of Celeste struck out again, likely due to Kaede’s lack of volume control. “I’m sorry…”

“No, don’t—” Regretting her tone of voice, she held Celeste’s cheeks and pressed their foreheads together. “I’m not mad, I’m frustrated because I don’t know what I have to do for you to believe me when I say I love you. I just wish love was easier. I didn’t know it could be this hard.”

“I’m still not sure I could love you in the way you want,” Celeste frowned. “I want to promise you that I’d never hurt you again, but I don’t know what my future self is going to be like.”

“I can’t see the future either.”

“So, what do we do now? Is this it between us?”

Kaede let go of her. “I don’t want us to be over, but I can’t keep doing this. No matter how much I love you, I can’t date someone who’s so willing to throw her friends away to protect herself.”

“Do you… not wanna be friends either? I want to try to be better and I at least still wanna be your friend, but I understand if my lies were the final straw for you.”

Kaede sat on the end of her bed, thinking. “It’s different if you’re trying. But, like, what are you gonna do?”

Celeste got down next to her and rested her cheeks on her fists. “I don’t know. Whatever you want me to be, I’ll do that.”

“No, I don’t want you to get better for me, I want you to get better for you.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

There was only one thing that came to mind. “There are counselors here. You can try talking to them.”

Celeste sat up straight and scowled in disgust. “ _ Therapists?! _ Where they get inside my head to judge every little thing I do?! They’ll laugh at me and shame me and throw me in jail or a psych ward if I say the wrong things!”

Of course Celeste would be afraid of therapists, she was a secretive person and having someone know everything about her was enough to instill paranoia. “They’re not gonna laugh at you or shame you,” Kaede soothed. “And I think if you get sent to a psych ward, it’s probably for your own health and safety.”

“Have  _ you _ ever been to a psych ward?

“No… but I went to a therapist for ADHD when I was a kid. She was really nice and helpful! I wouldn’t be able to sit still in class nearly as much as I can now if it weren’t for her.”

She stuck up her nose and deflected, “If you like therapy so much, why don’t  _ you _ go?”

“Uh…” Kaede shrugged. “Okay.”

“...What?”

“Okay,” she said more confidently, “We can go in together, if you want. I’m sure the Ultimate Psychologist wouldn’t mind.”

Celeste didn’t expect her to say that. “Absolutely not. I’m not doing that. I can’t have _two_ people— No.”

Bargaining was the best option. “Hm… how about if I go by myself, you’ll talk to him too? I have some stuff I should probably… talk to someone about. You said it yourself: I have a superiority complex. I’m trying not to be like that, but some help would be nice. And I told you I’ve accepted being gay but… I don’t know. There’s still some stuff that… freaks me out.”

“You’re serious? You really think talking to the Ultimate Psychologist will help us?”

“Doesn’t hurt to try. If we both work through some stuff, then I think after a little while, we can try, you know,” she pointed back and forth between the two of them, “being together. Maybe then we can go on, like,” Kaede let out a nervous laugh, “like a date or something.”

Celeste smiled. “Maybe then I can finally take you to get bluefin tuna. If that’s what it’ll take then…” Kaede could see the determination and trust in her eyes. “I’ll do it.” She faced Kaede and held out her hand to shake. “We have a deal?”

Kaede rolled her eyes. “C’mon, Celeste.” She extended her arms. Celeste quickly fell into Kaede’s deep hug. They both squeezed each other as hard as they could, letting out months of pent up tension and affection.

It was going to take some time but with some hard work on both sides, they were determined to be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter and an epilogue left :)


	33. A Hearty Meal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized this chapter might be a little confusing. It’s both Celeste’s and Kaede’s point of view.

Kaede smoothed out her new yellow dress as she looked into her bathroom mirror. No matter how many times Shuichi and Mikan reassured her that this dress was the best one she tried on at the mall, she couldn’t help but think that the way it fell over her body shape made her look like a giant lemon. But that was okay! Lemons worked well on the bluefin tuna she was  _ finally _ going to get. Reminding herself of the delicious fish she was going to eat didn’t calm her nerves, though.

Her whole body was shaking; this was her first date with a girl. She had a hard time finding an article on what to do on a first date with a girl when she was  _ also _ a girl, so she decided to just wing it. Go with the flow. If Celeste didn’t like her, then so be it. The school’s counselor told Kaede she worried too much about rules and what she was supposed to do, so this was a good time to practice letting things happen the way they do.

Another worry she had was how Celeste was going to act. She promised Kaede that she would be her genuine self so that Kaede could get to know Taeko, but Celeste was still uncomfortable going by that name. Kaede didn’t know how Celeste was going to act, but she hoped that she would at least be similar to the one she had grown to know.

Five minutes to 8 pm, Kaede had to hurry. She swung a small pocketbook around her shoulder, grabbed her coat, jumped into her high heels, and skidded to a halt. Kaede eyed the pink orchid and red rose she picked out from the garden that laid on her desk. No time to think! She swiped both of them and headed out the door.

Meanwhile, Celeste was damn near throwing a fit over her eyeliner. Her left eye was tilted somewhere between two and five degrees higher than her right eye, but it was too late to change it… or was it? Could she wipe all of her make-up off and try again before Kaede arrived? No, she shouldn’t try, or else she’d get caught with only having half of a face done. She could delay or cancel the date; the whole thing would be ruined if Kaede was bothered by how uneven her eyeliner was.

She didn’t want to cancel, in fact, she couldn’t. Celeste had reserved their spot at the restaurant a month in advance and she’d have to wait another month to get another reservation. She didn’t want to wait that long and she knew Kaede was extremely excited about getting bluefin tuna. Celeste didn’t want to let her down. She shook her head and stood away from the vanity mirror.

Other than her face, did she look okay? This was her first time wearing her new goth lolita dress she made for this very occasion. The more she looked at it, the more she hated it. Maki and Kaito said it looked great, but what did they know about fashion? Were the added pink pieces of fabric around her waist the wrong shade? Would Kaede be insulted? Would she be accused of not being goth enough if other goths saw it?

Maybe she shouldn’t have worn another lolita dress. Maybe she shouldn’t have worn something so elaborate for a first date. What if Kaede thought she was still trying to act like Celestia Ludenberg? Dammit, Celeste loved her dresses, but would it be better if she were someone else,  _ another _ persona that would be better on first dates?

The knock on the door at 8 pm told her it was too late. There was no going back. Months she had spent pining over Kaede and all the drama that came with it was going to go to waste because her eyeliner sucked and she wore the wrong dress. Time to accept defeat and answer the door.

Kaede’s heart thumped as Celeste opened the door. “Hiya!”

Celeste gave a warm smile. “Good eeeevening.”

She was still doing the vampire thing? Nice. Kaede was glad that wasn’t going to change. Her eyes widened when she got a look at her beautiful outfit. “Wow. You look amazing. I looooove your dress!”

Previously assuring Kaede that she wouldn’t use her fake accent, Celeste beamed, “Oh, thank you, dear!” Ah! And she was still calling her dear! Celeste did a little twirl. “I made it for this day.” She pointed at the pastel pink fabric around her waist. “A little bit of pink, just for you.”

“Aw! You remembered I love pink!”

“It’s not that hard to remember,” Celeste humbled. “Your outfit is lovely, too. I adore the simplicity and,” she looked up at Kaede, “I didn’t expect your height. Hehe.”

“You mad that I’m wearing heels, too? I’m not gonna let you be taller than me anymore,” Kaede joked.

“Of course not.” Celeste pointed to the two flowers. “What are the flowers for?” She had an idea, but she’d rather hear Kaede talk.

Kaede gripped the flowers in each hand. “Oh, right, right. Um, so remember when you said you like roses? And I said that if I got you a flower, it would be an orchid? Well, I couldn’t pick one because you remind me of a really cool orchid and I thought it would be kind of romantic but I also didn’t wanna go against your wishes and get something different than what you told me you like and it’s not like I’m gonna show up with  _ nothing, _ I mean, I  _ can _ but it doesn’t feel right because I know you would like to have something soIbroughtboth!” Kaede took a needed breath and held up the two flowers.

“You’re so sweet. I have an idea.” She took the rose and wrapped it on the strap of her dress, making it an accessory. Celeste then took the orchid and carefully placed it behind Kaede’s ear. “There. I think that looks great. Let me grab my coat and let’s go.” Once she was ready, they locked arms and headed outside.

It was pretty cold for mid-November, especially when wearing little to cover their legs, so they held each other close and speed-walked towards the main entrance to Hope’s Peak Academy. Sneaking past fans who waited for more famous students like Sayaka and Chiaki, Celeste pulled Kaede to a side street where a limousine was stretched and her chauffeur waited for them outside. He had tired, brown eyes and a slouch where if he straightened his back, he wouldn’t be that much taller than Celeste. When he noticed the duo, he gave an almost unnoticeable smile. “H-Hi…” he waved, only lifting his wrist. He didn’t have the poise of a chauffeur, certainly not one Celeste would hire; maybe it was his first day and he was nervous.

“Hiya!” Kaede greeted. “Are you driving us?” An obvious question, but she wanted to make him a little more comfortable.

The chauffeur nodded, the corners of his lips widening a little more. Kaede couldn’t help but think he looked familiar. She had seen his eyes before and the soft, polite smile reminded her of  _ someone,  _ but she couldn’t pinpoint who. He wouldn’t stop staring at Kaede as if he were trying to get a read of what kind of person she was.

Celeste’s elbow dug into Kaede’s ribs and by the furrow of her eyebrows and her eyes darting back and forth between the two of them, Kaede could tell she and the chauffeur weren’t supposed to talk to each other.

“Uh… sorry,” the chauffeur caught on as he opened the door for them to step in.

Kaede leapt in, excited to see the interior. With the windows tinted to near darkness, the pink, purple, and blue neon lights were a nice moodsetter. She practically jumped onto the velvet seat, rubbing her hands on the fabric. “Whoa…!” There was a small bar inside— Kaede didn’t realize those could even fit— where any alcoholic drink was replaced with varying flavors of sparkling water.

Celeste got in after her. “Enjoying the limousine?”

“Yeah! Look at how many flavors there are! Oooo!” Her eyes fell on a CD player and as the limo started moving, Kaede found where the collection of CDs were stashed. She paused to ask Celeste, “Is it okay if I—”

“Go ahead. Pick anything you like”

“Sweet!” She chose one CD that read ‘Bach’s Greatest Hits’ and let the music play throughout the limo.

Celeste watched Kaede excitedly flip through the other CDs. She wanted to make Kaede happy, but her mind wouldn’t stop coming up with ways the date could go wrong. What if she spilled something on her new dress? What if the food made her sick? What if she accidentally made the reservation for another date or time? Her chauffeur wasn’t making it any better. He bought a uniform too big for him and wasn’t acting like the reserved gentleman as Celeste asked!  _ Ugh! _

She wanted to pretend like nothing was wrong, to sit in stoic silence like Celestia Ludenberg would, but she was trying to be herself. What would Kaede think if she knew Celeste wasn’t as tough as she appeared to be? Maybe she already knew. Kaede could always see right through her. Kaede was probably thinking about how disinterested she was becoming.

Luckily for her, the only thing on Kaede’s mind was _Fugue in G Minor_ and, ‘Tu-na! Tu-na! Tu-na!’

When they arrived at the restaurant, the chauffeur opened the door for them, keeping his eyes on Kaede once again. Once they were away from him, as politely as she could, she told Celeste, “Your chauffeur’s weird.”

Celeste jumped, turning to Kaede with a worried look. “You… you think so?” She immediately wiped it off her face. “Ignore him. He’s not used to being a chauffeur; he’s a charity case. I gave him a job because he needed one that paid better than the trash he was working.”

“Oh, okay. It’s nice that you’re helping people.”

Celeste only grumbled.

Approaching the entrance to the restaurant, they saw a long line of people wrapping around the building, including two men with their presumed girlfriends verbally arguing over who was first in line. “Uh oh,” Kaede said. “It looks like it’s gonna be a while before we can get in.”

“Nonsense.” Celeste walked to the front of the line where a bouncer guarded a hostess. “Good evening,” she said in her accent when she and the hostess made eye contact.

“Welcome back, Miss Ludenberg,” the hostess greeted. “Am I to assume you have a reservation?”

“Yes, I do. It should be for two.”

The hostess flipped through a book and smiled. “Yes, it says so right here. Come on in.” The bouncer moved out of the way for Celeste and Kaede to step in.

Inside, Kaede looked at all of the men and women having a blast over their dinner. Some tables were quiet, but there were enough loud partygoers to make the large room overstimulating. To her surprise, the hostess led them up a flight of stairs where another bouncer removed a red, velvet rope to let them pass. This section, the VIP section, was a lot quieter with different decor where each painting on the wall certainly cost at least a million dollars.

“Whoa…” she said with her jaw dropped.

Celeste was unphased; she had been here several times. “These are the benefits of being polite to the staff.”

The hostess seated them at a booth shaped like a C with one overhead lamp and a bouquet of roses in a small vase as a centerpiece. They sat across from each other and Kaede moved the centerpiece so that she could see Celeste’s face. The hostess handed them their menus, took their coats, and a few minutes later, a waitress arrived.

“May I start you off with something to drink?” the waitress asked.

“Milk tea, please,” Celeste said with a soft, polite smile.

Tea, of course. Why would Celeste get anything else? So, what was Kaede going to get? Normally, on celebrations after a recital, Kaede would order a green tea, but would Celeste think she’s copying her? What should she get instead? Her mom would be mad if she drank anything caffeinated and she wasn’t sure if fruit juice was the best thing to drink alongside tuna, probably not at a high-end restaurant like this one either. “Uh— water,” Kaede replied quickly. The waitress nodded and left.

Celeste looked up from her menu.  _ Water?! _ Plain water?! A healthy choice, but surely Kaede would’ve wanted tea? Was she some sort of health nut now? Shit, was Kaede going to judge what kind of food she got? Should she change her drink of choice to water? But, dammit, the waitress was already gone! Fuck!

What the hell was she going to eat then?! She was  _ going _ to get the foie gras with truffles but was that the best choice? Should she get the spinach salad instead? But what if the spinach got stuck in her teeth and she didn’t realize that she had food in her teeth the whole date! And then Kaede was going to be disgusted with her and they’d never date again and she won’t bother trying to be friends because the date went terribly and Celeste was going to be alone forever!  _ Forever! _

Across the table, Kaede, who already knew she was going to get the bluefin steak, watched Celeste’s eyes widen as she stared at her menu, her index and middle fingers rapidly tapping the plastic as she chewed at her lip. “You okay?” Kaede asked softly.

Celeste immediately flashed a bright smile.  _ “Yes! _ Of course!”

“Oh, okay, good.” Kaede rubbed her thighs. “Honestly, I’m a little nervous, haha.”

Celeste lowered her menu. “...You are?”

“Yeah. I mean, this is the first date I’ve ever been on.” Oh, whoops. She forgot. Kaede shook her head. “Well, it’s  _ not _ but this is the first date where I actually like the other person. The other person being you. Haha. Was that weird? Sorry, I’m nervous.” She couldn’t stop giggling.

“No, no, it’s not weird. I should,” Celeste raised the menu a little to hide her face, “probably tell you that I’m kinda nervous, too.”

“That might be a good thing. Then we’re really into each other.”

“But when are rattling nerves excessive? Quite a thin line, I would say.”

“What do you mean?”

“...The Ultimate Psychologist said I’m,” Kaede could see two of Celeste’s fingers over the menu, “‘paranoid.’”

Kaede wanted to say ‘Yeah, you can be paranoid,’ but she remembered what the same counselor advised: people don’t always want to have a discussion and instead want someone to listen to them. People could get insulted when they want to vent and Kaede kept talking. The hard part was realizing when she was supposed to talk and when she was supposed to listen. The tip he gave her was if the person was sharing something personal, especially if it was negative, they either wanted Kaede to listen or dispel it. Since what Celeste was saying came from the Ultimate Psychologist, it would be a bad idea to contradict something helpful he noticed.

Slowly, Kaede lowered Celeste’s menu so she could look her in the eyes. Placing her elbows on the table, she rested her chin on the backs of her entwined fingers, intrigued. “Paranoid?” Apparently, repeating what the person said as a question went a long way in getting someone to talk.

Celeste’s eyes darted over Kaede’s face, examining her body language to find inconsistencies with her tone. “Yeah. He also diagnosed me with a  _ fuckton _ of disorders because  _ apparently, _ if you have one, you have a  _ million _ other ones. Stupid…” She shook her head in frustration. She suddenly jumped and covered her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry! This isn’t first date talk. Excuse my language.”

“Nah, I don’t care. What do you think first date talk is?”

“Not deep and personal things. Surface level things like the things you do in your free time.”

“But you already know that.”

Celeste had already said too much and didn’t want to say the wrong thing. “Hm… Well, I don’t know. How about you say something and I’ll listen? I love when you ramble.”

Kaede already talked enough and it wasn’t going to be long before she started rambling. “Uh-uh. I’m gonna let  _ you _ talk. I love hearing your voice.”

“Oh… I don’t have anything particularly interesting to say.”

“Sure you do.”

“Nothing as interesting as what  _ you _ could say.”

“I doubt that.”

Celeste only shrugged.

“Okay,” Kaede taunted. “Then we’re just gonna sit here and stare at each other.”

“Are we?” Celeste put down her menu. “Fine. Know that as a gambler, I’m unbothered by quiet staring contests.”

“And I’m really good at staring,” Kaede said confidently. “I don’t do it on purpose but I bet I’m  _ really _ good if I try.”

Silence fell before them as they stared at each other. Kaede was such a goofball, trying to make such a simple power play on their first date. Was it even a power play? Kaede was only trying to get Celeste to talk. She wasn’t trying to be superior or threatening, she was trying to help. After all they’d been through, after all the pain and anguish, Kaede was still trying to help Celeste in the best way she could. She was such a good person; never in a million years did Celeste imagine dating someone like her, someone who knitted her eyebrows as if she were angry when she focused. It was just like when they played poker together and just like the moment Celeste first realized she liked Kaede. This was the same girl she liked, the same girl who grew to be a better person, and the same girl who liked her back. Celeste couldn’t contain a small chuckle and turned away as she blushed.

“Chicken!” Kaede teased.

“Okay, okay, you win, shut up.”

“Ha ha!” Kaede crossed her arms and leaned back in victory. “You’re so adorable!”

“I can’t keep a poker face with you. You’re my weakness.” Wanting to change the subject else she’d explode, Celeste looked back at her menu. “I still haven’t chosen what I’m gonna eat.”

Taking the hint, Kaede confirmed, “Yeah, it’s like choosing what movie you wanna watch on TV. They’re all probably good!” Kaede’s face turned serious. “But I love tuna.” Tu-na! Tu-na! Tu-na! Noting Celeste’s stiff body, Kaede assumed the paranoid perfectionist was worried about picking the ‘right thing,’ so she offered, “I can pick something for you! I-If that’s okay.”

“Oh?” Without missing a beat, Celeste said, “Go ahead. I’m curious to see what you’ll pick out.”

Kaede, forgetting she had her own menu she could look through, snatched the menu out of Celeste’s hands.

Celeste seemed amused by her excitement. “Don’t worry about the prices. I can afford everything here, hmhm. Quite the benefit of wealth; never needing to look at a price tag.”

Narrowing her eyes, Kaede scanned the menu. What felt like the most ‘Celeste’ thing to eat? Celeste was super fancy, so what was the fanciest sounding thing on the menu? Kaede pointed to a dish she could barely pronounce. “You’re gonna eat the foh-ee-eh grass.”

“...The what now?”

“The fo-i-e grass. The...” She squinted harder, trying her best to pronounce the foreign word. “The foy…? The foy grass.” She smiled, confident that she said it right.

Celeste raised her eyebrows, understanding what Kaede was trying to say. She giggled at her attempts.

“What’s so funny?”

“Foie gras, dear.”

“Fwah grah?!”

“Close enough.” She laughed again. “That’s an excellent choice. It’s what I usually get when I come here.”

“Then why didn’t you pick that?”

Celeste put her chin to her shoulder. “Maybe I just like being difficult,” she lied.

“Were you?” Kaede asked, suspicious.

She rolled her eyes. Lying was a bad habit she needed to break. Celeste should open up. “...Okay, I guess I can confess that I was worried you’d judge what I’d pick.”

“Why would I do that? I’ve never judged your food before.”

“You’re drinking water! You’re trying to be healthy, yeah? I didn’t want you to think I was unhealthy!”

Kaede shook her head. “I only picked water because you’re drinking tea and I didn’t want you to think I was copying you!”

“Why would I think that?!”

“I don’t know!”

Celeste laughed and rested her hands on her cheeks. “God. We’re both insanely nervous about this date.”

“Look,” Kaede put her determined fits on the table, “all I want is tuna and for us to have a good time. As nervous as I am, I’m still having a good time.”

“I am, too.”

“Good! Then neither of us needs to worry about anything. You get your fwah grah, I get my  _ tuna, _ and we’re gonna be fine.” Panic burst through her stomach. “But don’t think I only agreed to go on a date with you so I can get fancy tuna! I don’t need it! I’d agree to go on a date with you even if we got, like, cheap pancakes.”

“...You’d still be interested even if I didn’t have money?”

“Of course! I don’t like you for the money, I like you for you!” Kaede calmed down. “But the money is nice, too.”

The waitress soon returned with their drinks. “Are you ready to order—”

“I’m getting the bluefin tuna steak,” Kaede announced preemptively. When she saw the waitress flinch, she waved her hands in front of her. “S-Sorry! I didn’t mean to cut you off!” Be polite to the staff, Kaede!

As Kaede put her face in her hands, Celeste chuckled. “She is excited. Do not mind her,” she excused, flipping her accent on like a switch. “I will have the foie gras, as usual.”

After the waitress left and Celeste and Kaede continued casual conversation, the waitress returned thirty minutes later, skillfully placing their respective orders in front of them.  _ Tu-na! Tu-na! Tu-na! _ Resisting the urge to grab the damn thing with her hands and shove it in her mouth, Kaede quickly picked up her fork and knife. Okay, Kaede, relax. She had eaten at fancy restaurants before, but not  _ this _ fancy. Not only did Celeste have to reserve this spot a month in advance, but this was the VIP section. Both of their meals were hundreds of dollars each. This was a  _ fancy _ fancy restaurant. She didn’t want to be ill-mannered.

She watched Celeste delicately cut a tiny piece of foie gras and place it into her mouth without making a sound. She closed her eyes and smiled, savoring the taste. Celeste practiced her manners all the time to perfect her persona and it showed. While Kaede wasn’t disrespectful, there were certainly Rich People Rules she didn’t know. Kaede knew she wasn’t supposed to think about rules that much, but she still wanted to fit in. Maybe if she focused really hard on Celeste, she could mimic her motions.

Celeste opened her eyes to see Kaede staring her down. “H-Hello?”

Kaede blinked. “Uh. Sorry. I just realized I don’t know how to eat this.”

Celeste tilted her head in confusion.

“Like, is there a special VIP way to eat this?”

“...No? As long as you chew, you’re fine.”

“Oh. Okay.” Kaede quickly cut up a decent-sized piece of tuna, watching the steam come out. Aw,  _ hell yeah. _ She gobbled it up, feeling her body ascend with the rich taste she never experienced before.

“Kaede, you damned pelican, I said chew!” She was going to choke and die! What was Celeste going to do if her date  _ died?! _

“Sorry! It’s so good!” She scooted over to Celeste so she was sitting next to her, cut off another piece, and held the fork up to Celeste’s mouth. “Have you tried it before? Here, have some!”

Celeste looked back and forth between the fork that had already been in Kaede’s mouth and Kaede’s eyes that demanded, ‘You’re gonna eat this.’ How could she resist? Food was food after all. She opened her mouth and bit off the tuna with her lips, letting Kaede slowly and calmly remove the fork.

“Isn’t it great?! It’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten!”

Celeste nodded, still chewing like a human with functional teeth. She looked down at her foie gras. She recalled all the times she had food for herself, only to be forced to give it to her mother. Being on her own paying for her own food meant all of Celeste’s food was hers and hers  _ only. _ Searing hatred was the only thing that boiled inside of her at the thought of sharing food. For Kaede, that hatred wasn’t there.

She took a piece of her foie gras and held it up for Kaede to eat without saying anything. Was Kaede going to ask for more and eat all of Celeste’s food or was she being paranoid? There was only one way to find out. The Ultimate Psychologist told her the best way to overcome her paranoia was to take risks and bear her heart.

With a “Howm,” Kaede bit off of Celeste’s fork, did a little bouncing dance as she tasted the dish, and swallowed. “Yum!” Without another word, Kaede returned to her tuna, dancing to whatever song was playing in her head.

There was no need to be afraid around Kaede. “What are you dancing to?”

“Mozart’s Sonata No. 17 in C Major. I don’t know, the fwah grah just reminded me of it.”

That meant nothing to Celeste. “Tell me more.”

With a big gasp, Kaede went on about the piece, about Mozart himself, soon derailing the conversation from being about the period Mozart composed in, to the various conspiracy theories about Mozart’s death. Celeste followed along, her eyes staying on Kaede as she listened with a fist on her cheek, occasionally jumping in to share the knowledge that she knew. It didn’t take long for Celeste to bring up true crime and share stories that she had heard from other people while gambling. Kaede’s jaw dropped wider with each unbelievable tale of the strange ways rich people interact with the world. They happily hopped from one topic to the next for over an hour, never once feeling like the conversation was getting stale. 

Kaede took another bite of her tuna, but her face didn’t display the same amount of joy as when she first ate it.

“Something wrong?” Celeste asked.

“No, no, it’s, uh, we were talking so long that it got cold.”

“Has it?” She tried her foie gras, feeling the room temperature meat on her tongue. “So it has.”

“I’m  _ so _ sorry. I know this was expensive and—”

Celeste put her finger over Kaede’s lips. “There’s always leftovers, dear. Nothing is going to waste. Besides, an enriching conversation with you is worth more than what I’ve spent.”

Deciding to retire, they got small boxes for their food, Celeste paid the check, retrieved their coats, and Celeste sent a message for her chauffeur to bring the limo around. This time, the chauffeur didn’t make eye contact with Kaede at all; Celeste must’ve said something to him.

Inside the limo, Kaede immediately felt fatigue rush over her with how comfortable the seats were. Looking at Celeste, she must’ve felt the same way. Her eyes were tired; the slow hum of the limo must have soothed her. Kaede wanted to get closer, so she jumped over to the back of the limo and squeezed next to Celeste, so close that their thighs were touching.

Celeste was so pretty. Her make-up was amazing; Kaede didn’t see or notice any imperfections. Her legs were crossed with her palms on her knees, making her look like a fragile doll. Celeste looked at her, waiting for Kaede to blabber on about something else, but all Kaede did was look back. “Nothing to say?” Celeste asked.

Kaede shrugged. “I have a lot to say, but I don’t need to say it right now. I can’t just admire you?”

“You’re admiring me? Surely, there’s  _ something _ you could say, hmhm.”

Why not? With butterflies in her stomach, Kaede admitted, “I think Celestia Ludenberg is really hot. And Taeko is super cute. You know, they say ‘get a girl that can do both,’ and you can do both. Haha.” She tapped Celeste’s nose, trying to distract from her mildly embarrassing confession. “Boop!”

“Oh, stop it.” Celeste averted her gaze to the window, watching the street lights blur by. “And you say you aren’t good with words…” She hid her blush behind the back of her hand. “Your dominating traits spark fires within me while your goofy nature creates new rhythms in my heart.”

Kaede slid her hand to Celeste’s, entwining them. Too astonished to say anything further, they looked away from each other, smiles on their faces as they gazed out opposite windows for the rest of the car ride.

Exiting the limo, Kaede thanked the chauffeur before they returned to the main entrances of Hope’s Peak Academy.

“Celeste…?” They heard the chauffeur softly call out to them.

Celeste bit her cheek, a little bit of fear in her eyes. She breathed and said, “Wait here, dear.” Kaede nodded in agreement as Celeste walked over to him.

From their distance, Kaede could barely hear what they were saying, but combining their mouth movements with the little bits she heard allowed her to use context clues to eavesdrop. Awkwardly, he asked, “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah,” Celeste replied so matter-of-fact that it felt like she was trying to hide her true emotions from the man. There was a hint of annoyance in the way she rolled her eyes.

“...She seems nice.”

They both looked over at Kaede, who pretended not to hear.

“Yeah, she is.” Celeste pressed her lips together.

“Can you tell her I’m sorry for scaring her? I didn’t mean to.”

“She knows.” After some silence, Celeste asked, “Can I go now? I’m kinda,” she raised her shoulders, signaling she was in a hurry, “in the middle of something.”

He gave a weak smile as if he physically couldn’t smile any harder than that. “Sorry. I’m happy for you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She looked down at the leftovers in her hand. “Do you have something to eat? You can have my leftover foie gras if you want.”

The chauffeur quickly shook his head, so much that it almost knocked off his oversized hat. “Nonono, you keep it. I have some soup at home.”

Celeste grimaced but decided not to argue.

The chauffeur gently patted Celeste’s head. “...I’ll talk to you later, duckling.”

“Okay, thank you,  _ bye!” _ She stomped away from him, returning to Kaede with a red face.

“Everything okay?” Kaede worried.

“Yeah, everything’s _ fine.” _ Celeste scurried past the entrance.

Not wanting the date to end without a proper goodbye, Kaede asked, “Can I walk you to your room?” When Celeste nodded in approval, she locked arms with her and headed to Celeste’s dorm.

Outside of her room, Celeste huffed and turned around, ready to exchange final words for the night.

“I had fun!” Kaede said first.

“So did I. I’m glad everything went well.”

“You know, you didn’t even feel like a different person to me. You’re the same ol’ Celeste.” She moved hair out of Celeste’s face. “Maybe a little shyer.”

“Shyer? Nonsense, you haven’t  _ really _ gotten to know me yet.”

“Then we should do this again?”

“...We should.”

Her heart pounding, Kaede bit her lip and rocked her foot.

Celeste raised an eyebrow. “...Are you expecting something?” she flirted.

“No, I’m not  _ expecting _ anything. But I’m  _ hoping, _ you know… I think a kiss would be nice.”

“A kiss on the first date?”

“We’ve kissed before this.”

“Point taken. Okie,” Celeste turned one cheek to Kaede and tapped it, “you’re allowed to give me one peck on the cheek.”

“...That’s it?”

“You want more?”

Kaede shrugged. “Yeah,” she laughed. “Kinda.”

“Oh, well—” Celeste chuckled, a blush burning her face. “Modesty, dear.”

Kaede leaned in and planted a kiss on Celeste’s cheek. She drew back, unsatisfied. “Well… there you go.”

“Yup.”

They stood there without saying a word. Kaede idly pursed her lips, putting one hand in her coat pocket.

Celeste looked down the dark hallway to see if anyone was watching them. Once she was sure they were alone, she grabbed Kaede’s jaw. “Alright. Come here.” She pulled Kaede in for a kiss, locking their lips together. It wasn’t as gentle as their first time nor as nerve-racking, there was more confident passion and love. They both knew they wanted to kiss each other and there was no need to hide it. Finally, they had gotten a proper resolution to their months of tension.

Celeste pulled back, licking her lips as she grinned. “That’s all you get for now.”

“For now.”

She used her e-handbook to open her door. “I’ll see you at breakfast in the morning?”

“I’ll see ya.”

“...Good night, darling.”

“Night! Wait—” Celeste had already closed the door. “...Darling?” Kaede pumped her fist. “Yes!” Her first date with a girl was successful, with more to come.

Celeste sat down at her vanity and put down her foie gras. She removed the rose from her chest. She debated putting it in the vase of yellow chrysanthemums, instead decided to wrap it around the doll Kaede had bought her months ago when she acted as her servant that one morning. She sat the doll next to the pile of letters from her dad that she didn’t throw away, including the newer ones that she had exchanged with him.

Down a new path, Celeste knew she wasn’t going to be alone anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only an epilogue left to wrap up loose ends. Thank you for going on this LONG journey with me.


	34. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me quickly say I have no hatred towards any ships. There's a joke in here that I make that sounds like I have a problem with Momoharu and I DON'T, haha.

Celeste, holding her blazer in her hand, bashed through the door of the Ultimate Detective lab, seeing Kyoko laid out on the couch as she read a case file. “Kyoko!” Celeste announced. “I have something I wish to share with you.”

Kyoko looked at her but said nothing.

After a deep breath, Celeste said, “I am done. I have no use for you anymore. Whatever game we were playing, I am not playing it any longer.”

Kyoko sat up and squinted in confusion.

“You may think that I have lost, but quite the contrary,” Celeste continued. “I have won by acquiring new knowledge that has been kept from me for years. You claim that my weakness is the love in my heart but you were wrong. It only made me stronger. It was my hatred that set me back.”

Kyoko crossed her arms and looked up at the ceiling, thinking.

“Your uninterest in me reminded me of my mother,” she squeezed the blazer at the admission, “and I believe I felt the need to prove myself to you to make up for my broken relationship with her. No longer! I have friends now who  _ do _ care about me. I do not need your approval and I have no desire to imitate you anymore. So…” She dramatically threw the blazer into the air, allowing it to land on Kyoko’s head. “Goodbye!”

Sliding the blazer off of her face, Kyoko stood up. “Kaede told me I had been mistreating you. More ranted at than told, but you get the idea. She was right and you have every right to be angry with me.” She bowed. “I’m sorry.”

Celeste clicked her tongue, stomped her foot, and dropped her accent. Kyoko already knew who she was. “How dare you ruin my dramatic goodbye? Now I look silly. You just _have_ to come out on top all the time, don’t you?”

Kyoko chuckled. “That wasn’t my intention, but… yes.”

“So… we’re okay now?”

“I’d hope so.”

“If we’re on good terms, then would it be improper to ask a favor of you?”

“Go ahead.”

“It regards a particular Ultimate Assassin.”

* * *

The imposter played a simple arrangement on the piano. Leon, wearing a piece of fabric over his eyes, nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, next.”

Kaede switched seats with the imposter, wiggling her fingers in preparation. She played the same arrangement, adding her own flair and exaggerating some of the details the imposter missed. She knew she was better, but she wanted to make sure a blindfolded Leon could tell. When she finished, she got up and asked, “Which one of us is the real Kaede?”

“Hm…” He paused. “The first one. The second one had too much extra stuff to be Kaede.”

“Incorrect,” Celeste said, adjusting her own blindfold. “You have failed to recognize Kaede’s intensity. Despite how humble she can be, Kaede is quite proud of her abilities when it comes to competition.”

Shaking her fits and taking a wide stance, Kaede screamed out, “THANK YOU!”

Leon ripped off his blindfold.  _ “Aaaaaw!” _

Celeste let out a haughty laugh as she removed hers. “You fool. Perhaps if you paid more attention to Kaede, you and I would be in a much different situation.”

Leon grit his teeth. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Oh?” Celeste hovered her fingers over her mouth. “What does it mean?”

The imposter put their hands on their hips like Kaede always did. “Celeste, be nice.”

Leon tossed the blindfold. “Whatever. I don’t listen to Classical music anyway, so how would I know? Too outdated for me.”

Before Kaede could respond, the imposter yelled, “Outdated?! Music transcends eras; it never expires!”

That was almost word for word what Kaede was going to say. How did they get so good at replicating her? Was Kaede that easy to copy? That small test wasn’t good enough. She clenched her fists at the imposter, expecting more competition to come.

* * *

Celeste took a delicate sip from her teacup. “I once gave my remaining half of a sandwich I had eaten to a homeless man worse off than we were, but my mom snatched it from him and forced me to eat it, saying he didn’t deserve it.”

Mikan frowned into her tea. “Yeah… One time, my mom didn’t like that I helped my blind classmate find his homeroom, so she locked me in a dark closet for a weekend ‘since I liked people who couldn’t see anything’ and to ‘see how I liked it.’”

“That’s terrible. I used to hide in my room for days hoping one of my parents would notice, but they never did.”

“That’s really sad! My dad watched me do everything and would yell at me if I did it wrong, from washing the dishes to brushing my teeth.”

Gonta pulled at his cheeks, tears streaming down his wide eyes. “Noooo! It not fair! Lady Mikan and Lady Celeste no deserve bad things! Gonta want good things to happen!”

Mikan wasn’t used to someone being so upset at the things her parents did to her. “D-Don’t cry! I won’t say anymore if it makes you upset! Gggggh…”

“No, Gonta wanna hear so Gonta know who he train to fight against!”

“You’ll fight them? For me?” She asked with loving eyes.

He crushed a macaroon in his determined fist. “Gonta gentleman and gentlemen protect ladies!”

Celeste put down her teacup. “I appreciate your concern, but we are only sharing stories. It’s nice to get it off my chest and have someone relate. I’d rather not worry about the consequences of speaking up.”

Mikan sighed in relief. “I can’t believe there’s someone else who gets it. Did you ever have to walk to the doctor by yourself because your parents wouldn’t take you?”

Celeste idly circled the edge of her teacup with her finger. “I’ve never needed to go to a doctor. I’ve never been gravely ill.”

Mikan gasped, “Whaaaa?! You’ve never been?!”

“Nope.” She played with a strand of her hair. “You’re only supposed to go if you’re exceptionally sick, right? That’s what my mom told me, anyway. I’ve never had anything worse than a cold or a stomach ache.”

“But you’ve had to go to the doctor to get check-ups and vaccines, right?”

Celeste pursed her lips as she thought, eventually shaking her head.

Mikan got a crazed look in her eye. “You’ve  _ never _ gotten a vaccine?! Y-You have to have at least your meningococcal, right?”

“I… don’t have the root words to figure out what the hell that means.”

“MMR? HPV? DTap?”

“Are you just saying letters?”

“Not even a  _ flu shot?!” _

“Oh, I know that one. No, my parents never took me.”

Mikan jumped over the table and grabbed her shoulders. “Celeste! How do you not have polio right now?!”

“I’m very lucky. My entire life is a bet against death and I win every day, hmhm.”

“Luck can only get you so far. You’ve gotta get vaccinated at some point—” Mikan’s pupils dilated so her eyes were nothing but black circles.

Celeste didn’t know what was going on. “Are you okay, Mikan…?”

A slow grin crept across her face. “You have virgin blood…” she whispered. “No immunities. I can fix that. I’m trained on giving shots. You have to get them. You have to get them all...” Mikans staggered breaths turned into laughter.

Uh oh. “Uh… sure. They aren’t gonna hurt, are they?”

Mikan snapped her head to Gonta. “Gonta! Take Celeste to the nurse’s office, quick!”

“Okay!” Gonta scooped Celeste up without a second thought and started running.

“W-Wait!” Celeste pleaded. “You didn’t answer me! Do they hurt?!”

Mikan followed behind Gonta with a sinister expression.

* * *

Thank god the sauna’s steam made it difficult to see details. Even though Celeste was wearing a towel and was half-submerged in water, if Kaede saw any more of her, she’d certainly pass out. She clutched her own towel tightly to her chest, keeping her back against the edge of the communal bath.

Staring at the water in front of her, Kaede tried not to think about how they were both almost naked. She tried not to think about the wet towel attached to Celeste’s skin. She tried not to think about what Celeste would look like when she got  _ out _ of the bath. If she stared straight at the water, no new thoughts could come to mind. Did Celeste know? She always said Kaede was easy to read, so did she already know that Kaede was a disgusting pervert?

She heard Celeste’s calm voice to her right. “Are you okay, darling?”

_ She knew! _ “I’mfinenothing’swrong!” Kaede blurted out, making the horrible decision to look up at Celeste, catching a glimpse of her boney shoulders and collarbones.  _ Ah! _ Kaede shouldn’t think about her body! She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to erase the image and thoughts that came along with it out of her mind.

“Your face is bright red.”

“It’s hot!”

“It’s not  _ that _ hot.” Celeste sighed. It took a lot of convincing and reassurance to get Kaede to join her and it seemed like those fears were coming up. “You’re thinking too much. A trip to the sauna shouldn’t be about thinking, it should be about relaxing.” She reached over to pat Kaede’s cheek, sending a shiver down her spine at the touch.

Opening her eyes, Kaede asked, “How are you not uncomfortable?”

“Discomfort is only in how you see things. I don’t give a shit about what other people are doing. I’m only thinking about myself and how nice the water feels.”

“B-But aren’t you scared of a creep staring at you? I don’t wanna stare.”

Celeste chuckled. “Frankly, I’d be more insulted if my girlfriend wasn’t staring.”

“What if I look at someone else by accident? That’s, like, almost cheating!”

Celeste lowered her body so only her head was above the water. “I trust you, darling. A glance is only a glance.” She closed her eyes as she got comfortable. “It’s only erotic if you make it and I’m not ready for making it like that anyway. I just wanna relax and pretend like I’m not thinking about sauna eels slithering inside me.”

That reminded her of something. “Did you know that there are these six-foot-long tube worms that live near volcano vents super deep in the ocean that are waaaay hotter than this sauna? They eat the chemicals that come out of the vents, I think. People used to think life couldn’t, like… live under pressure and intense heat like that. Nature is so cool.”

“Hmhmhmhmhmhmhm…” Celeste shot her eyes open.  _ “Thank you _ for telling me that, darling. Boiling worms taller than me… hmhmhm.” She shut her eyes again, a pained smile on her face.

Kaede took a deep breath. If excessively paranoid Celeste could relax, so could she. They were the only ones in the room anyway. Maybe Kaede could relax, just for a minute.

_ “Yoooooo!” _ A large splash of water crashed onto Celeste and Kaede’s faces as someone cannonballed into the pool. Before she got a chance to get the water out of her eyes, Kaede felt an arm wrap around her shoulders, causing her to stiffen up. “How’re my two favorite girls doing?”

Celeste wiped the water off of her as if someone had just sneezed directly into her face. “...Hello, Junko.”

“Kaede!” Junko screamed in Kaede’s ear. “You’re here! Glad to see you finally learn how to relax, girl!” She pulled Kaede in for a hug.  _ Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs!  _ Pervert! Kaede was a cheating pervert! Was Junko trying to catch them doing something inappropriate? Was she going to spread a rumor that Kaede made an advance at Celeste?!

Kaede winced a look at Celeste, who only shrugged. She wasn’t the slightest bit concerned. If anything, she was more upset that Junko ruined her relaxation time. As paranoid as Celeste was, if she didn’t care, then Kaede didn’t need to worry either. “H-Hi, Junko…”

“Oh. My. God.” Junko flicked her wrist, one arm still on Kaede. “Did you guys hear that Maki’s got a crush on Kaito?”

Knowing not to believe anything Junko said, Celeste droned sarcastically, “Wow. I did not know that. That is  _ so _ interesting.”

Kaede, however, was ready to defend her friend. “Nuh-uh! They’re friends! And Maki’s ace anyway!”

“Huh? What’s that mean?” Junko held her hands up in defense. “I’m just saying that my sister told me that Kirumi said they were ‘close.’ Don’t hurt the messenger. And you know how maids are; they know everything.  _ And _ with her being the class representative for your class, I bet Kirumi knows  _ everything _ about who’s boning who at this school.”

“You can’t spread rumors like that! I know Maki and Kaito; they’re not close like  _ that!” _

Celeste taunted, “You should confirm your suspicions with Maki. She is incredibly sincere. She will tell you the truth if you ask.” She laughed to herself. “I would love to be there to see her face.”

“No- _ wuh! _ Don’t make this worse, Celeste!” Kaede turned to Junko, prepared to give Junko a firm lesson on spreading rumors and what it meant to be asexual and aromantic. As she went on, she completely forgot about their location and lack of clothing. There was nothing to worry about. Maybe later, she could ask Mahiru, who had the same fears, to join her in the sauna one day.

* * *

Sitting cross-legged on Kaede’s bed, Celeste quietly sewed two pieces of fabric together for a new lolita dress. She turned to her left to look at Kaede, who sat on the other side of the bed, dancing and humming to whatever upbeat song she was listening to in her large headphones. She was always so full of energy, even more so when she listened to music. Sometimes, it was hard for Celeste to keep up. She’d rather sit in silence than dance to the latest pop songs. The juxtaposition hit Celeste’s heart like a stack of bricks, sending her into a spiral.

They were two completely different people. It was only a matter of time before Kaede realized that Celeste wasn’t that great and broke up with her. Kaede would fall for someone kinder, happier, more fun. There were plenty of other goths in the world, if that was Kaede’s type.

Maybe Kaede was already aware of it. There were plenty of times where Celeste wanted to do something with Kaede, go out for dinner, play a game, go for a walk, but Kaede had no interest. She’d rather play on the piano by herself or lay in bed like a rusty cog in a machine with no power. Kaede explained that it was a thing that ‘just happened sometimes’ and Celeste wanted to believe her, but why would she rather stare at her phone than talk to her girlfriend? Celeste had moments where she’d rather mope in her room for hours, but all it took was a little tug from one of her friends to get her up on her feet again. She couldn’t do that with an uninterested Kaede. It must be a sign of their fading relationship.

That was it. They were growing apart. All the work Celeste had put into their relationship was for naught. It didn’t matter how hard she tried to open up to Kaede, it would never be enough. They had only been together for a month and it was already over. Kaede could see through Celeste; she knew how pathetic she was. Celeste would never be good enough for Kaede. Kaede didn’t care about her, she probably didn’t like her at all.

She tried to keep her tears in and her sniffling wasn’t loud enough for Kaede to hear through her headphones, but it didn’t take long for Kaede to glance over and see Celeste’s red eyes as she hunched over her fabric. Without pausing her music, Kaede ripped the headphones off and laid her hands on Celeste’s leg. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Celeste turned her head, too embarrassed to explain what she knew was irrational. “It’s nothing. Don’t… Don’t worry about it.”

Kaede frowned. “You can tell me, baby, it’s okay.”

She  _ was _ acting like a baby, a child with no control over her emotions. “I’ll be fine.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Kaede reached over to Celeste’s other cheek to get her to look her in the eyes.

Not wanting to upset Kaede any further, Celeste said, “I don’t wanna burden you. Really,” she sniffled, “I’ll be fine. It doesn’t matter.”

She wasn’t going to explain what the problem was. Kaede knew one of the only ways to get Celeste to talk would be to pressure or force her, but she was better than that. Celeste was prone to mood swings beyond the hormonal imbalances that occurred a day or two before her menstrual cycle; tantrums of anxiety, irritation, rage, and depression were all sudden bursts of emotions Celeste could have at any moment without seemingly any warning. It could be a little frustrating at times, but Kaede trusted that since she wasn’t like this before they were in a relationship, it was likely that Celeste had gotten more comfortable expressing her true feelings with her. Celeste spent years hiding herself so in Kaede’s mind, she was allowed to get it all out. It wasn’t like she ever did or said anything harmful. Out of shame, she never told Kaede exactly what the Ultimate Psychologist diagnosed her with, so Kaede had to assume Celeste was just extremely sensitive and felt things very strongly. While Kaede had no mood or anxiety disorder, she could relate to sensitivity.

The only problem was getting her out of that state. Normally, the feelings would pass after a day or two, but even that was suspect. Celeste might have continued to feel whatever she felt, but it had lowered to a state where she could manage it and hide it well. Either way, what partner was going to just let their girlfriend cry? Not Kaede!

She held her two index fingers up. “Okay. You, um… you wait right here, okay? Stay right here. Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” With a leap off of her bed and four quick steps to the door, she dashed out of the room.

About thirty minutes later, Kaede returned. In her hands was a bowl of curry with two large balls of rice, one on top of the other, with two black beans on top. Under the bowl was a game board. She held them both with a giant grin.

“What…?” Celeste took the contents from her hands.

“I went to the rec room and got Mancala! I also saw this really cute thing online where you make a duck out of rice and if you put it on top of curry it looks like it’s swimming!” She scratched her cheek. “It didn’t turn out that great… but I did my best! I don’t know how they make the eyes, so I just used black beans. And I forgot to add a beak. But I think it looks kinda like a duck, right?”

Celeste looked up at Kaede, her lip quivering. “You made this for me?”

Kaede shrugged. “Yeah. I get it if you don’t wanna tell me what’s wrong. I mean… not really, but I won’t push it. I know you like food and games so,” she gestured towards the curry and board game, “I thought it would make you feel better. It’s kinda close to dinner, sorry.”

In an instant, Celeste started sobbing.

“Wait, wait, don’t cry! You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to! I’m sorry it looks bad—”

“No, no, this is so sweet, darling. I’m happy, I-I’m happy.” She set the bowl down and squeezed Kaede in a hug. “I wasn’t thinking; that’s why I was upset. I just wasn’t thinking right. You made me feel better. Thank you.”

Kaede kissed Celeste’s forehead, allowing Celeste to melt into her arms.

* * *

Kiyotaka ran up to Kaede, holding a large clipboard. “Kaede! Just the person I wanted to see!”

Kaede dropped her shoulders. “Oh no. What did Celeste do now?” She put her hands on her hips. “You know, Taka, just because we’re dating doesn’t mean I control her. If you have a problem, take it up with her.”

“What? No, I have a question for you!”

“Oh. Okay, what’s up?”

“Who’s your favorite Monokub?”

Kaede groaned. “God, I hate all of them.”

He practically dropped his clipboard. “What?! Why?! They’re a perfect representation of school spirit! I made each personality cater to every student!”

Kaede bent back with wide eyes. “ _ You _ write their scripts every morning?!”

“Yes! I wake up at six in the morning every day to write the news announcements to the students in a tasteful way while prompting them to go to class, all while having enough time for breakfast!” He clenched a fist, tears building. “I even have them say cuss words to make them more relatable… but if you don’t like any of them, then I must be doing something wrong…!”

She shook her hands, not wanting to insult him. “Nononono, I don’t  _ hate _ them, I just, uh… I’m a little tired in the morning, that’s all! It’s like hating your alarm clock; no matter how much you change the sound, you’re still gonna be mad at it, haha! I think it’s really cool that you’re so dedicated to writing something different every day!”

“Oh, okay, thank you!” He readied his pen. “So, who’s your favorite? I’m trying to see if my writing is effective.”

“Uh…” She had to come up with something on the fly. “The pink one. I like… pink.”

Kiyotaka shot up with glee. “I knew it! I made Monophanie pink for the girls to like!” He scribbled down notes.

“You only made  _ one _ to cater to half of the school?”

He realized his mistake. “Hm. You’re right. Chihiro is the Monokubs’ biggest fan and she said it would be nice if one of them were trans. If I did that, then there would be  _ two _ girls!”

“I guess. Or you could ask Chihiro to help you write them. Then you’d have a guy and a girl behind the scenes and the Monokubs as a whole would be less biased.”

He gasped. “Kaede, you’re brilliant! I’ll go back and ask her right away!” He dashed down the hall, not letting another moment pass.

Kaede could only sigh, knowing that it wasn’t going to make waking up in the morning any easier.

* * *

Celeste and Shuichi peered into the library. “I’m not sure about this, Celeste,” Shuichi doubted.

“You’re backing down? Maybe you shouldn’t have bet against the Ultimate Gambler,” Celeste taunted.

“If we didn’t make a bet, I would’ve won the shogi game.”

“That’s your fault, dear, not mine. Now, go talk to him.”

He grimaced as he watched Rantaro read a book alone at one of the tables. “What if he doesn’t like boys?”

“He does,” she confirmed, patting his shoulder. “That’s what my sources say.”

“What sources?”

“My eyes. Have you seen the way he sits in chairs? Look at him!” She pointed at Rantaro, who had the back of his seat facing the table, his chin resting on the top as he read his book.

“That’s stereotyping!  _ You _ sit normally in chairs!”

“Wrong.” She held up one finger. “I sit  _ correctly— _ back perpendicular to the ground, legs crossed over the knee, palms overtop, chin down— as a lady would. Not normal in today’s society. Very queer. Get with it, Shuichi.”

Shuichi flailed his arms. “Well, I can’t base anything off of that!”

“You’re an Ultimate Lucky Student, trust your luck. You’ll be alright.” She pushed him towards Rantaro, causing him to stumble on his feet.

When Rantaro looked up, Shuichi stammered, “H-Hey, Rantaro. Sorry to bother you.”

Rantaro closed his book, not even marking the page. “Hey, man, wassup?” He turned his body to face Shuichi, his foot resting on the side of one of the legs of the chair.

Yeah, Shuichi would be alright.

* * *

Celeste and Kaito laid in the grass to watch the stars. Kaito, with one arm behind his head, turned to Celeste. “Do you think you’ll ever let people call you Taeko again?”

Celeste bit her lip. “I don’t know. I’m not Celestia Ludenberg— I’m not evil or conniving or unempathetic like she is. But I’m not Taeko either. Trying to be someone else did change me and I feel like I’m too far gone to be the Taeko that I used to be. I’m somewhere between the two of them. I’m… Celeste. And that’s the name I’ll go by.”

“That’s cool,” he respected. “If you ever change it, let me know.”

“I’m assuming you’re still gonna call me Eight-Point-Five?”

“Of course!”

“Hm. I guess I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

* * *

“I love it because it’s not like a typical vampire-monster story. It feels more like a story tracking a deadly disease because, just like with disease, no one is safe. Characters die that you don’t expect to.” Celeste squeezed Kaede’s hand as they strolled outside. “Ugh. I just love it.”

“Oh,” Kaede raised her eyebrows, “Shiki sounds kinda scary.”

“A little, though my regular consumption of horror has probably tainted my ability to determine what’s scary for the average person.”

Kaede saw an opportunity. “You think you can reset it by watching something not scary?”

“That sounds like you have a recommendation—”

She quickly clutched Celeste's hand with both of her own. “Have you ever seen Fruits Basket? It’s so good, but it’s kinda sad and I haven’t seen the remake, so we should watch it together! I’ll watch Shiki with you and you can watch Fruits Basket with me!”

Celeste smiled at Kaede’s excitement. “That sounds great, darling.”

As they approached the barn, Gundham held up his arms in a cross. “Halt! Ebon Witch and Muse of Ivory, speak the magic dispelling words!”

Kaede jumped up and down. “Let me see the boy!”

“I wish to see my son,” Celeste said calmly.

Gundham nodded, “Very well,” and allowed them inside, closing the doors behind them.

“Cheri!” Celeste called out.

“Meow!” They heard the grey cat greet from a hidden location.

Kaede responded by replicating his “Meow!”

Cheri appeared and ran up to the two of them, running through their legs. Kaede bent down and covered her face with her hands, prompting Cheri to meow more and rub his cheeks on her arm. She picked him up by his armpits, having him stand on his hindlegs. “Caaat!” She wiggled his body, making him do a little dance.

“Meoooow!” He jumped into her arms.

Celeste blinked. “...What?”

“I figured out that if I pretend to cry, he runs up to me to make me feel better.” She frowned at Celeste, knowing it was a conditioned response.

“He… likes you?” She seethed through a fake grin.

“Yeah, we’re best buds now. Why, is that bad?”

“No, no,” Celeste crossed her arms and looked in the opposite direction. “It’s just that he’s only ever been friendly with me.”

“You jelly?”

“‘No- _ wuh’ _ as you would say. I’m not jealous; I’m  _ thrilled _ that my two and only B-Rank darlings have gotten to know each other without me. Even if Cheri knew  _ me _ first.”

Kaede smirked. “Jellyyyyy.”

Celeste bent down and sighed, scratching Cheri behind his ears. “I guess if Cheri likes you, then you really are someone special.”

“When do I get to A-Rank?”

Celeste blushed. “Oh, goodness, that’s not for a while. It takes time to be promoted from darling to love.”

“Heh. I’ll wait,” Kaede said with pride. Cheri squirmed out of her grasp and leaped onto her arched back. “Ah! The claws, the claws!”

* * *

Kaede crossed her legs on her bed and sat her phone up on her dresser, waiting for her mother to answer the phone. With a few rings, she soon saw her mom’s face.

“Hey, Kaede!” Her mother greeted.

Kaede faked a smile, “Hey, Mom.”

“Kaede! Helloooooo!” Her dad called out. Kaede watched the screen turn to reveal her dad sitting next to her mom on a couch. “How are you?”

“Pretty good,” she lied. She only wanted to talk to her mom. “I practiced Tchaikovsky’s Meditation about an hour ago. I want to learn to play it without sheet music since they have  _ so much _ sheet music here, I want to be able to take the piece home with me.”

“Good, good, I’m so glad Hope’s Peak is helping you be even better than you already are.” Her dad gave two thumbs up. “Proud of you!”

“Thanks, Dad.”

Her mother turned the camera back to her. “Your father and I have been watching these racing movies and they’re…” She raised her eyebrows and shook her head. “Racing. That’s what they do. What’s it called?”

“Wild Speed!” Her dad was clearly excited about these movies. “We’re watching Wild Speed MAX right now.”

Her mom rolled her eyes. “So, what’s up?” she asked, changing the subject. “Is there a specific reason you called or are you saying hi?”

“Oh, um,” Kaede rubbed her hands together as she felt her heart rate pick up. “Actually, yeah, there was something I wanted to talk to you about, Mom.”

“Just me and you? Or is it okay if your dad listens, too?”

“Can it just be you and me?” she pleaded. “Sorry, Dad. I’ll call you later, though.”

“It’s okay! You have your girl talk,” her dad confirmed.

After her mom moved upstairs to gain some privacy, she asked, “Is something wrong?”

Kaede took a breath. “I have a kinda complicated question for you. It might be weird.”

“Fire away.”

“What, uh… what does love mean to you?”

Her mom raised her eyebrows for a moment, not prepared for such a heavy question. “Hm. That  _ is _ a complicated question. Any reason why you’re thinking about this?”

Dammit. Her mom had an amazing ability to get to the root of problems. Kaede bit her lip and shrugged.

Suspicious, Kaede’s mom decided to humor her and answer her question. “It’s different for everyone and I feel it differently towards everyone. My love for you is different from how I feel towards your dad and how I feel about myself. Even then, there were men I loved before your dad and all of those loves were different.”

“Oh. I guess I never really thought about that.” It was racking Kaede’s brain in a way she wasn’t ready for. She didn’t know what to make of that, so she clarified exactly what she was asking. “How did you first know you loved dad, though?”

Her mom tapped her upper lip, thinking. “It’s a lot of little things, but I think it was when things were calm in our relationship. I realized I loved your father when I watched him put socks on this one time. He wasn’t doing anything special and he wasn’t putting them on in an interesting way, it just hit me that I was fine with doing mundane things with him every day for the rest of my life. I didn’t need to go on a date every week to try to keep some sort of spark flying. My heart didn’t race anymore when I saw him, it relaxed. It’s still like that and it’s not a bad thing. I know if I have a stressful day at work, I can come home to him and put all that away.” She smiled to herself, recalling the moment.

“That’s really nice.”

Kaede’s mom shifted. “So… why are you asking me this?”

“Um… well—” She swallowed, her fingers shaking with anticipation. She trusted her mom, but the anxiety that confessing could go poorly didn’t go away.

Her mom gasped. “Sweetie, is there a boy you’re interested in?”

Kaede’s shoulders tensed and she looked down at her hands. “I’ve been… dating someone, yeah.”

“Oh! Tell me all about him!”

With her heart banging against her ribcage, Kaede had to get it out. “...It’s a girl, mom.”

Her mom blinked, parting her lips in confusion. “...Oh,” she said sharply, her eyes moving around as if she were watching a film of Kaede’s life up until this point. “Oh,” she pondered again, her inflection rising. “A… girl.”

“I’m sorry—” Kaede wiped tears from her eyes.

“What?” Her mom sat up, realizing her tone came off wrong. “No, sweetie, don’t be sorry—”

“Are you mad? I didn’t wanna make you mad—”

“No, no, no, why would I be mad? I’m not mad at you—”

Kaede whined, “But you want, like, grandkids and stuff that are yours, right? I don’t want you to be disappointed—”

“I could never be disappointed in you, sweetie. I’m glad you told me. I wish I could hug you.”

She breathed, feeling relief that she was able to confront her mom. “Th-Thank you… I wish I could hug you, too.”

“Why don’t you tell me about her?”

Kaede wiped the remaining tears off her face. “Oh, her name’s Celeste. She’s the Ultimate Gambler and she’s really pretty and sensitive and—”

Her mom got close to the screen. “She’s a  _ gambler?!” _

“Yeah…?”

“A criminal?! Sweetie—”

Kaede held her hands up. “Wait, wait, mom, let me explain—”

* * *

Celeste groaned, wiping the sweat from under her bangs with the back of her wrist. “This is the  _ worst!” _ She screamed up at the glass sky of the greenhouse. “I’m  _ scorching _ and I’m gonna  _ diiiiiie!”  _ She bent back, cracking her lower spine. “My posture is gonna be ruined for my whole fucking life. How do you do this all day?!”

Maki patted the dirt on top of a newly planted seed. “It’s easy if you shut up.”

“Uch. I guess it’s more calming than other activities.” She looked over at Maki. “Do you think you’ll ever tell them about your real job?”

Maki didn’t look back. “...Maybe. It’s probably best if fewer people know, though.”

“In my experience, I’ve found my life to be a lot less stressful when people I trust know my secrets.”

She didn’t say anything.

“Seriously. You can trust our friends, right? If you ever plan on telling them, I can prepare their minds. Have them consider some things beforehand. What does it truly mean to be a bad person? I’ve thought about it a lot, but do other people? Is someone always evil if they kill? Or are there circumstances where killing is the best thing to do? I don’t doubt that most of our friends have the capacity of killing if put them in a kill or be killed situation. I know I would. Even someone as sweet as Kaede would at least try to. Hm.” She shrugged. “It’s all circumstantial. And you’re in a circumstance.”

Maki shook her head. “You talk… so much.”

Celeste scoffed, insulted. “Well, you don’t say shit! I can’t make conversation?!”

“You sound like updog.”

She didn’t know that word. “Updog? What’s updog?”

“Nothing much. How about you?”

It took a moment for Celeste to realize what happened. “Bitch!” She threw a chunk of dirt at her. “Fuck you!”

Maki dodged, laughing to herself.

* * *

“I’ve come to a grand revelation,” Celeste announced after training. “I shouldn’t strive to be a vampire, I should become…” She put one foot on the courtyard’s bench and extended one arm as if holding a sword. “A pirate!”

Shuichi narrowed his eyes, not able to picture Celeste as a pirate. “Ah… why?”

“Pirates and vampires are surprisingly similar; both spend most of their time away from society and have queer subtext— and that’s really all I need.” She rested her raised arm on her bent knee, smiling at her friends. “The only major difference is pirates have a crew.” She flicked her wrist up and down. “And they’re dirty and uncivilized, but I don’t have to be that way to be a pirate.”

Kaito laughed and held up a confident fist. “I think that’s a great idea, Eight-Point-Five! There’s nothing like going on an adventure with your friends, whether it be through space, land, or sea!”

Kaede informed, “Baby, you still don’t know how to swim.”

Celeste shrugged. “You’re not  _ supposed _ to get in the water when you’re a pirate, darling.”

“But you’re afraid of water. You think you won’t get stressed out on a boat? Or seasick?”

“...I’ll worry about that when I get there.” Celeste put the back of her wrist to her forehead. “Is it too much to ask to fall by my pirate rival-slash-lover’s sword? For them to not know it was me until they removed my mask while I bled out into their arms? Oh, the drama of it all…”

Maki shook her head, disturbed but used to this kind of nonsense. “You have some sick fantasies.”

Kaito scratched his goatee. “If we all go on adventures together, then we’d kinda be like the Mystery Gang, minus the mysteries!” He pointed at Celeste and Maki. “Maki Roll’s Velma, Eight-Point-Five’s Daphne—”

Kaede shouted, “I call Fred! Then that would mean Mikan’s Shaggy and I guess Shuichi’s Scooby.”

Mikan put her hands on her cheeks. “R-R-Really? Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah, everyone likes Shaggy.”

“Oh! Yay! Hehehe!”

Kaito asked, “Then what does that make me?”

“Uh,” Kaede giggled, “I guess Scrappy.”

“That’s not fair! Why can’t I be Fred! He’s the leader!”

Kaede put her fists on her hips, challenging him. “He’s dating Daphne and I called him first!”

Celeste raised her eyebrows and pressed her lips together, not complaining about Kaede fighting over her.

Kaede tapped her foot and crossed her arms, trying not to be so headstrong. “But I guess we can switch off between Fred and Scrappy. You can’t date Celeste, though!”

Shuichi got between them. “I think you guys are taking this way too seriously.”

Kaito nodded. “Shuichi’s right. We don’t need to argue over the little things. We’re friends! And you know what? There’s a ton of other people at this school who are still loners. I think if we each brought someone—”

“No!” The rest of them shouted in unison.

* * *

“I don’t know, darling. I should practice more.”

“This  _ is _ practicing. We aren’t performing for anyone.”

“Don’t judge me if I mess up.”

“I won’t. I mess up all the time. Are you ready?”

Celeste nodded, holding her violin to her neck. With a deep breath, she hovered the bow over the strings. Flicking the metronome so Celeste had an easier time with the pacing, Kaede began a countdown. At the same time, they started playing  _ Swan Lake. _

Reading sheet music was hard; no matter how many times she practiced with Kaede, translating symbols to letters in her head to motions with both of her hands required a lot of brainpower and focus. She tried not to look at Kaede, but Kaede was just staring at her, not needing the sheet music as much as Celeste since she could play it by ear. That didn’t mean Kaede was perfect; there were still smaller details she could work on. Just because Kaede was an Ultimate Pianist didn’t mean she didn’t need to work on her skills.

Even if Celeste needed more practice than Kaede, she was still trying and getting better with each day. She smiled at Kaede, trusting her support. Kaede returned the smile, knowing helping someone else was making her better, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then the killing game started.
> 
> No, jk, thank you all who followed and for those of you who read this all at once. This was a VERY long story; almost a year for you guys, almost two years for me. Maybe once I finish other projects, I’ll come back and do some edits to make the story more like how I envisioned it, working on arcs of characters that I thought would get more screen time *cough* Kaito, Shuichi, and Mikan *cough* Maybe add chapters that I ended up cutting out. This story ended up being about 630 pages long and I have 245 pages of scrapped content.
> 
> But for now, it’s done. The goal was to have fun and actually have something completed. Did I have fun? Mostly. I now know not to write a weekly updating story where each chapter averages at 19 pages because that took a toll on me. But having a deadline was a great way to get me to write. I learned a lot about myself as a writer, how I interact with media, and how others do too.
> 
> If you have any questions about the story, I’ll answer them (just please don’t be mean, I'm well aware of its flaws). I’m gonna take a month long break or work on a Celegiri vampire one-shot for a month before working on original stuff to get me into grad school. I’ll keep my profile updated with the progress of the fic if you care.
> 
> Thank you for reading Self-Deception.


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